Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji
by Rei Ryuugazaki
Summary: [College AU] Prompt: Victor is harboring two hopeless crushes: one on the cute boy with glasses in his art history class and the other on the sexy, mysterious figure who skates alone on the local outdoor rink at night. / Victor Nikiforov and Yuri Katsuki share an art history for a semester and it turns out staring isn't rude after all.
1. Chapter 1

Ryuugazaki: I have come out of my fan fiction writing hiatus/break/retirement to write a (brief?) Yuri On Ice fanfic because a) why not? and b) none of these fanfics are satisfying me in the way I need to be satisfied. I need to be satisfied and the best way to get satisfied is if you do it yourself. So here we go.

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Tumblr AU Prompt: Victor is harboring two hopeless crushes: one on the cute boy with glasses in his art history class and the other on the sexy, mysterious figure who skates alone on the local outdoor rink at night.

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Chapter One  
 **(Wednesday, 9 September 2015 – 8:45am, Detroit, Michigan)**

It was the first day of the new semester for Yuri Katsuki. The figure skating season had begun in July and Yuri was dedicated to throwing himself into his studies and into his career as a professional figure skater. His first class of this day was Art History. The instructor of the class, Laura Heiner, was running late. Yuri's fellow classmates were slowly filling the room. Yuri, wanting to make a good impression on his professor, wanted to be early to class. And he was, too. Phichit Chulanont, a fellow figure skater and his roommate, was also taking art history this semester; Phichit, however, was taking art history on Thursdays because the Wednesday class was full. Yuri was sitting to the extreme right of the classroom while most of his classmates were sitting to the left of him. Yuri was doodling in his binder, trying to draw the octopi from The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife. Whenever the door opened, Yuri's eyes shot towards the door. He _really_ wants his professor to come to class.

Instead of the professor walking through the door, it was a tall man with flowing silver hair that was kept in a ponytail. His long lashes obscured his sparkling turquoise eyes. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a dark blue, striped cardigan, and Nike Air Force sneakers. He sat right next to Yuri, placing his messenger bag on the back of his chair. The silver-haired man took out a notebook and leaned back. He chewed on his lip and played with his ballpoint pen. Yuri was gaping at him.

"Yes?" The silver-haired man looked at the Yuri. "May I help you?"

"No, I'm sorry," Yuri muttered. "You just have very long hair." The man smiled. "It's nice." The man smiled harder. Yuri turned around and continued drawing the octopi.

It's 8:50am now and the professor finally came in. "I apologize for my lateness, class. I was in traffic." The professor went on a spiel about downtown Detroit, talking about how the police were doing an investigation so she had to use the side-streets. "I originally wanted to do an icebreaker game, but, if I do it now, it would cut into the time I need to explain the syllabus for this course. So I apologize for that." Professor Heiner gave a girl her syllabus for the class and told them to pass them around. The girl did as she was asked. Yuri and the silver-haired man were the last two to receive a copy of the syllabus.

Professor Heiner explained her class, broke down the syllabus, and suffered the questions her students asked. Yuri didn't exactly tune his professor out, but he wasn't necessarily paying attention, either. He took a break from drawing the octopi and looked up. His professor was still talking. Then he looked to his left. Some students were on their phones. Then he looked at the silver-haired man. The silver-haired man was spaced out a bit, looking at something in Yuri's direction. Yuri quickly turned the page of his syllabus along with his class. _How long is this thing? Six pages?_ He touched the packet. It felt thicker.

"Next, I will be passing out samples of the types of essays I want to receive in this class." Professor Heiner gave the same girl the bunch of papers and passed them around. Like before, the silver-haired man and Yuri were the last to receive them. She droned on and on, not once checking to see if her students were remotely intrigued by the prospect of learning about European art. _I should've taken an Asian art class_. His older sister, despite their awkward relationship, always made sure to give him the chance to imbue himself with art. Mari loved going with him to the Fukuoka Art Museum and Yuri loved being there with Mari. _Why didn't I take an Asian art class?_ He mused. Then he remembered that they didn't offer that. He just had to accept that he couldn't have that and took what he could get.

Yuri outlined the octopi in pen, deeming himself to be done with the octopi. Maybe later he'll get to draw the _ama_.

"Now, this is a three-hour class that meets once a week." Yuri stopped drawing. "In order to be marked as 'present,' you must be here within fifteen minutes of the start of the class or else you will be marked as absent. You are allowed three absences or else you fail the class. There are no make-up classes." She walked to the other side of the room. "You will have to go to a museum once a week, pick a piece, and verbally analyze and describe it. I will not accept any pictures of your chosen artwork."

Yuri looked over at the silver-haired man. He was writing in an unfamiliar language in his spiral notebook. It looked to be similar to Ukrainian, except that it didn't have that _Ї_ letter. The silver-haired man tore a paper out of his notebook and wrote on it. He folded it, passed it to Yuri, and smiled.

Yuri tentatively opened the paper and read it. It had a large scribble on it. He squinted and gave up. He wasn't trying to read that right now.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: This was fun. Maybe I'll write more.


	2. Chapter 2

Ryuugazaki: Guess who's back? Back again.

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Chapter Two  
 **(Wednesday, 9 September 2015 – 7:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was skating in the ice rink in the local gym. He couldn't focus on his course work; he was very lost in his thoughts tonight. Earlier, the Madonna of Hasetsu Castle, Yuko, had told Yuri that she was going to marry their childhood friend, Takeshi. Despite being very much in like with Yuko as a self-conscious adolescent, the only thing he was bothered by was the fact that he wouldn't be able to go to the wedding. Whatever feelings Yuri might've had for Yuko had been, quite literally, ground into the ice.

But Yuri wasn't thinking about that. He was thinking about that man who sat next to him in class. Yuri was thinking about how he looked like his childhood idol. He also spent a while trying to understand what the man wrote on that piece of paper. It looked like scribbles to Yuri, but he's sure it meant _something_. He was writing in his notebook in Russian. " _Maybe it's Russian_." Yuri thought.

He stopped skating and breathed. He was trying to work on his Salchow. Coach Cialdini had told Yuri to not practice his Salchows just yet, but Yuri was an overachiever, a perfectionist, and a hair-splitter. He had big dreams and one of them was to beat his childhood idol. Yuri thought often about how he was supposed to surpass Victor Nikoforov without jumps and he just couldn't see it happening.

But, right now, he felt a pair of eyes on him. He started gliding around the perimeter, trying to see if anyone was in the rink with him. The thought of someone observing him in the dark made anxiety congregate in his stomach. It was dark and only the moonlight illuminated the area. He stopped moving and looked towards the door. The door wasn't very well illuminated by the moonlight and he didn't have his glasses on so all he saw was large, ghoulish shadows. He took a few steps forward. "Maybe I'm just seeing things," Yuri thought. That happens to him at night.

"Should I continue?" He said, waiting for whoever was watching him to answer him. There was silence. "I am going to leave now. If you are here, please do not follow me." He said, mustering up all the confidence he had. The shadows he saw were never aggressive, just an annoyance. They followed him around, stayed in corners, and observed him. Yuri walked towards the exit of the rink and started to take off his skates. He sat on the floor and changed into his shoes. Luckily for Yuri, it was a warm summer tonight and he didn't have to worry about freezing to death once he stepped outside. The shadows stayed behind and he walked back to the apartment he shared.

Phichit and Yuri met at the end of the spring semester during Phichit's visits to the college. Yuri had liked Phichit's enthusiasm and extroversion and Phichit admired Yuri's inner calmness. When Phichit told Yuri that, he didn't understand what he meant by "inner calmness" but he took that as a compliment. After that day, Phichit had made the decision that they should be roommates and Yuri made no argument. He honestly liked Phichit's calming presence and he wouldn't dream of anything changing between them.

After a brisk walk, Yuri made it back to the apartment. Phichit told Yuri that he was making pad Thai for dinner tonight. "Sawasdee krab, Yuri! How was your first day?" Yuri held up his hand and went into the room he shared to drop off his gym bag. Then he came back into the kitchen. "So?"

"It was okay. My art history class is dull and my math class gives me a headache."

"Did you make any friends?" Yuri laughed. "Yes? No?"

"I interacted with one person. Did I do good?" Phichit laughed. "What about you? How was your day?" Phichit started talking about his day and the jokes he made with his classmates about the subject matter. Phichit kept talking and talking and then he stopped.

"What about that one person you talked to, Yuri?" Yuri looked at him. "What did you say to the person?"

"I just looked at his hair and I told him his hair is nice." Phichit nodded. "That's it, really." Yuri bit his lip. "Oh! Then he wrote something on this paper and gave it to me. I don't know what it says though." His roommate shrugged.

"And how was your practice?"

"It was fine until I started feeling eyes on me." Phichit moved the pad Thai from the eye of the stove to look at Yuri. "I was skating and then I felt a pair of eyes on me. Then I started seeing shadows and I wanted to leave." Phichit looked at his friend.

"We're going to have to discuss that part later."

"Why?"

"It's concerning." Phichit returned his attention to dinner. "You go and take a shower. I'll be done cooking soon." Yuri complied and went to bathe.

#

 **(Wednesday, 9 September 2015 – 8:30pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri had finished showering and eating and he was drawing the _ama_ from Hokusai's woodblock painting. Phichit was occupied with his hamsters. "Okay, Yuri, let's talk about these shadows of yours." He nodded, still drawing. "Are you paying attention?"

"I'm listening," Yuri mumbled as he tried to get the frame right. "Just talk. I'm paying attention."

"You have to tell Ciao Ciao about them."

"I'm fine."

"I don't doubt that you're fine but what if one day you're _not_ fine?"

"Then I'll be not fine."

"That isn't what I meant." Phichit sighed as he stroked his hamster's head. "What if they get worse? What if you're trying to skate and then you have an attack?! Is this new for you?"

"This isn't new in the slightest. And they don't attack, they just observe." Yuri muttered.

"But will you at least tell Coach? Just so he's in the know?" Yuri nodded and started adding the shapes. "Thank you." Phichit yawned. "Are you drawing for your art class?"

"It's not a requirement to draw for art history class. You just have to look at art and analyze it." Yuri murmured. "You know that drawing relieves my anxiety." Phichit nodded. Drawing is something of a nervous habit for Yuri. "How do you feel about going to practice tomorrow?"

"Great. And you?"

"Great. I'm hoping to show Ciao Ciao my Salchows. I'm working on them."

"I don't think he'll like that." Phichit absentmindedly said. Yuri had stopped giving form to the nameless _ama_. "You know how he gets when you do things like that." Yuri nodded and continued drawing. "You're not listening are you?"

"I am."

"But you're still going to do it, right?" Yuri nodded. "Why are you like this?" Phichit laughed.

"I have to be perfect." Yuri looked at his best friend and smiled. Phichit was mildly puzzled but understood that Yuri was just a perfectionist. "And I'm not there yet. So that means that I must do everything and perfect everything –"

"– and outshine everyone and blah blah blah." Phichit laughed. "Will you ever change?" Yuri shrugged. "You're not going to change, are you?" Yuri shook his head. "That's what I thought." Phichit yawned. "What class do you have tomorrow?"

"French."

"You're finally taking that class again?" Yuri had taken French in his freshman year of college, but he had failed. He kept getting anxious when it came time to actually go to French class. Eventually, that anxiety became so pervasive that it impacted his ability to go to all of his classes and skating abilities in his freshman year. Luckily Ciao Ciao and student resources were able to help him get established with a doctor and keep him on track in regards to graduation and advancement in figure skating. It involves weekly sessions with a therapist, some meds, and mindfulness exercises and it really helps him.

"I am."

"Are you going to be able to do it this time?"

"I hope so."

"Don't push yourself." Yuri looked at Phichit. "I don't know why I even bothered with saying that." The boys shared a laugh. "We should get to bed soon. Our sleep schedules are still messed up from the summer." Yuri nodded. Phichit had Yuri watch a Thai movie with him every few days or so and they would stay up at night discussing it. "The both of us need to be on our game if we're going to even stand a chance during the events." Yuri nodded again. Phichit got up to put his hamsters in their cage. Yuri placed his binder on the floor. "Lazy." Yuri chuckled. Phichit turned off the lights and laid in his bed.

Yuri laid there, thinking about that man's handwriting. He wasn't over how it looked or why the man gave it to him. "I should be going to bed, but right now I'm thinking of some man's handwriting," Yuri said so himself while rolling his eyes. "Just let it go."

* * *

Ryuugazaki: It's only been a few hours since I started this fanfic and I can't get over the feeling that I've already somehow fucked some shit up in regards to the storyline.

But, in other news, I really like how the interactions between Phichit and Yuri turned out. I had always felt that Phichit would be the mom friend while Yuri would (forever) be aloof.


	3. Chapter 3

Ryuugazaki: I've gotten three reviews so far saying that this is really good and this makes me feel really warm. Thanks y'all, I'll try not to disappoint you. (Even though disappointment is what I live for. So I'll try and keep the disappointment at a minimum.)

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Chapter Three  
 **(Thursday, 10 September 2015 – 11:40am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri fell asleep eventually. He woke up in time for his French class and, while he was a bit apprehensive, he managed to get through the period. He was in the back of the library now, FaceTiming with his sister.

"Mari!" Yuri said as he smiled.

"Hey there, little brother," she said in Japanese as she took a drag of her cigarette. She was in her room. "How's your semester going?" Mari used the English word 'semester.' Mari had taken English in college

"It's okay, so far. It just started, though." Mari smiled.

"Did Yuko call and tell you her news?" Yuri nodded. "How do you feel?"

"I'm happy for her." He smiled.

"And how's your health been, kid?" Mari knows about his anxiety and depression and makes sure to check in on him whenever they talk. "Have you been taking your medicine?" Yuri nodded. "And have you been trying to socialize?" Yuri hesitated and slowly nodded. "You haven't, have you?"

"Not really." Yuri shrugged and sheepishly smiled. He interacted with his fellow skaters at the rink (which were only a handful) and Phichit, but that isn't satisfactory enough for most people. "Isn't it midnight?" She nodded. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" She nodded again. "How's Minako-sensei?"

"She's our most frequent visitor still." Mari said. "Mom and Dad named the katsudon bowl after you, you know." Yuri turned red. "This isn't even news anymore and you're still blushing!" She cackled.

"I _know_ that, but still. I don't like that they named it after me. It's embarrassing." Mari grinned.

"Do you have any more classes for the day?" Yuri shook his head. "You should probably get started on your homework then, right?" Yuri nodded. "Oh, didn't you tell me that you're taking an art class?"

"It's an art _history_ class, and yes." Yuri smiled. "It reminds me of when we would go to Fukuoka together. I miss Fukuoka."

"You still remember those times?" Mari smiled as Yuri nodded. "When you come back, we should go back. They're supposed to have a new exhibition by this December."

"Did they announce it?"

"No, not yet. When they do, I'll be sure to text you." Mari smiled. "I should really get to bed. Long day tomorrow."

"Every day is a long day for you." Yuri chuckled.

"True. Okay Yuri, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Love you."

"Love you, too." Mari ended the call and Yuri put his phone on the coffee table in front of him. The silver-haired student came and sat on the opposite end of Yuri. He was reading a book by Andrei Bely. From time to time, the student would glance at Yuri and Yuri would do the same. Yuri heard a paper rip out of a notebook; no doubt it was the student across from him. The only sounds audible in the room were the scribbles coming from Yuri and the student.

"You're in my art history class, right?" Yuri nodded. "You were drawing those octopi yesterday, right?" Yuri nodded again. "What's your name?" The silver-haired student asked.

"Katsuki Yuri," our friend muttered as he was turning the pages of his French notes. "And yours?" There was a silence. Yuri looked at the silver-haired and the man wore a look of confusion on his face.

"Victor Nikiforov," he said, almost as if he's uncertain. Yuri accidentally tore a page out of his binder. Did our friend's ears really deceive him? "Are you okay?"

"You're _the_ Victor Nikiforov?" Yuri looked at Victor and Victor nodded. "What are you doing _here_? Don't you have to be blowing everyone away somewhere?" Victor chuckled and stopped writing. Yuri was trembling by now. He took deep breaths like his therapist told him to when in an anxiety provoking situation but it didn't work this time. He is within the reach of his childhood idol and breathing was the last thing on his mind.

"Not until next month." Victor took down his ponytail and continued writing. "So, until I have to start skating again, it seems like we're going to be classmates, Yuri." Yuri looked at Victor.

"Why are you even in Detroit?" Yuri questioned.

"Can't I be somewhere that's not Russia?" Yuri stayed silent and tried to put his paper back in his binder. Victor continued writing. "You're really shy, aren't you?" Yuri looked at Victor again. Victor folded the paper he was writing on and handed it to Yuri.

"I–"

"Just take it." Yuri opened the paper and looked at it briefly. He still couldn't read what Victor had written. "Those octopi you were drawing yesterday looked very nice."

"Thank you," Yuri muttered. He stopped trying to put his torn paper back in his binder and went back to giving form to the _ama_.

"Do you like art?" Yuri nodded. "We should work together on our art history assignments!" Yuri stayed silent and continued drawing. "What are you drawing now?" Victor got up and stood over Yuri to get a better look at what was being drawn.

"Please do not do that. I don't like people staring at me as I work," Yuri said ask he covered up the _ama_ with his hands. Yuri has this problem with people looking at him as he does, well, anything. It only becomes a problem when he's skating in front of a crowd. Other times, it's not a problem. Except for this time: this time it is a problem.

"Alright then," Victor sat closer to Yuri.

"Do you know if we have to start going to museums this week?" Victor shrugged.

"I don't know, honestly. I wasn't paying attention." Yuri tsk-tsked. "You weren't paying attention either, Yuri." Yuri smirked. "Do you have any classes for the rest of the day?" Yuri shook his head.

"And yourself?"

"Yes," Victor said.

"Shouldn't you get going then?"

"No," Victor said. He reached for his book by Bely and opened it.

"Are you just going to sit there?"

"Yes." Victor read his book in silence as Yuri continued drawing. It was uncomfortable – more so for Yuri – but they sat there in their uncomfortable silence.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: The more I write the more I feel like I'm making a huge mistake.


	4. Chapter 4

Ryuugazaki: I'm telling my friend about Christophe's fat ass (like, his fat ass) and I think I have a problem. That problem being Christophe's fine ass.

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Chapter Four  
 **(Thursday, 10 September 2015 – 7:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri!" Phichit yelled from outside the building. Yuri was several feet away from the entrance. "How was your day? How was French? _¿Era buena?_ "

"I don't think that was French." Phichit laughed. "Is Ciao Ciao inside?" Phichit nodded. "You wouldn't believe the day I had today." Yuri shifted the weight of his gym bag.

"Did you meet someone new today?"

"No, but I saw the person from my art history class." Phichit nodded. They didn't enter the building yet. "He started a conversation with me." Phichit grinned. "He asked about my art. Then he gave me another paper. Then he suggested that we work together on our assignments." Phichit was chuckling. "What?"

"You made a friend."

"No I didn't. We should get inside. Ciao Ciao is probably getting worried." Phichit agreed and patted Yuri's back. Yuri opened the door for his friend and himself and went inside.

#

 **(Thursday, 10 September 2015 – 9:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Practice was over for the night. The other skaters were in the changing rooms while Yuri and Phichit were at the rink, talking to Coach Cialdini. Coach Cialdini had finished chastising Yuri for attempting Salchows. After the chastising, Phichit was shooting the breeze with Coach.

"Yuri has something to tell you, by the way," Phichit casually mentioned.

"I do?" Phichit looked at Yuri. He pursed his lips. "Apparently I do," Yuri muttered.

"About last night when you were skating, mon chou." Phichit said.

"Oh yeah," Yuri started, "yesterday I was trying to skate but I kept seeing this ghoulish shadow." Coach Cialdini remained taciturn. "Should I explain what it looks like?" Coach nodded. "It was this very big shadow that reached towards the ceiling. It was by the door." Yuri pointed towards the door. "It was just observing me. It really wasn't threatening."

"You should tell your therapist about this next time you see her. When do you see Luzia next?" Maria Luzia Ledo e Sá (usually just called Luzia Sá) is Yuri's therapist. She's bubbly, kind, and she always believes in her patients. Yuri has been seeing Luzia since his freshman year and he's forever grateful for her existence.

"The week after next."

"Try and see Luzia sooner. This is important." Yuri nodded. "You two get home now. It's getting late." Yuri and Phichit left the rink and started walking to their apartment.

"How is Luzia, by the way?" Phichit asked. "I haven't asked about her recently."

"Luzia is fine. Her wife is fine, too." Yuri smiled. He remembered when Luzia showed him her honeymoon photos. They went to Porto Alegre. Luzia looked so happy in Brazil.

"I'm glad she's fine." Phichit smiled.

#

 **(Thursday, 10 September 2015 – 9:56pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri kicked his bookbag to the corner of the room. Phichit was playing with and observing his hamsters. Yuri laid in bed, scrolling his Instagram feed. Yuri wasn't the biggest fan of social media, but he did occasionally open the apps and scroll through his feed. Phichit had taken a photo of Yuri as he was putting on his skates; it was captioned: "mon chou getting ready to blow everyone away during practice!" Yuri laughed.

"On Instagram?"

"Yeah."

"Saw my post?"

"I did." Yuri smiled. "Mon petit chou."

"Ma poupée," Phichit said back. "Are you going to sleep now?"

"I'll try."

"I'll try not to make any noise then."

"Thank you, mon canard," Yuri muttered as he laid on his stomach and tried to sleep.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Hello darkness, my old friend…


	5. Chapter 5

Ryuugazaki: So I heard about the Yuri on Stage event and Chihokogate and I am, quite literally, in need of an amberlamps (yes, amberlamps). Yuri and Victor are the Kings of Being Extra™.

Also, if you want fanfic updates (and me being an obsessive weeb-nerd in general), you can follow me on tumblr at gaba-inhibitor

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Chapter Five  
 **(Friday, 11 September 2015 – 6:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri doesn't have classes on Fridays. Earlier today he went to his ballet class. His instructor, Eduvigis, is kind of similar to Minako in some ways. The main exceptions are that a) Eduvigis has an adorable accent when she speaks English and b) Eduvigis doesn't drink.

Now Yuri is at the rink, working on his Salchows again. Coach Cialdini is probably going to be upset again, but Yuri really wants to get better at his Salchows. Eduvigis told him to take it easy, but then started laughing. _What is taking it easy?_ Yuri thought and chuckled.

This time Yuri left the doors to the rink open and kept the lights on. It wouldn't stop the shadows, but this time he'll be able to discern if they're actually shadows. He skated and skated and skated some more; he skated until everything around him became a blur of colors.

Yuri attempted a Salchow and his execution and landing were sloppy. "Son of a whore," he murmured. Yuri stopped twirling and started to take deep breaths. He looked towards the door. He thought he saw a figure – an actually humanoid figure this time. "Is someone there?" Yuri whipped his head towards the door. He didn't get a look at the person's face. They had their back turned and they were leaving now. "Who are you?" The person waved. "Answer me!" Yuri skated towards the edge of the rink. "Come on. Don't do that!" The person kept walking.

Yuri stood there, abashed. It's the second time this week that his skate sessions have been interrupted or hindered in some way. Yuri got off the ice, sat down, and started to put his shoes on. He was teeming with frustration right now.

#

 **(Friday, 11 September 2015 – 7:23pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was in charge of dinner tonight; he decided on _shōyu_ ramen. His mom makes it really well and he wants to make Phichit taste Japan the way his mom makes it. While he was cooking, he was talking with Mari.

"So how was your skating session today?"

"Unfortunately short." Yuri said as he got the water to boil. "Someone was watching me skate and when I caught them they left." Mari nodded. Vicchan jumped on Mari's bed. "Konnichiwa, Vicchan!" Vicchan barked. "I love you." Mari stroked Vicchan's head and smiled.

"Vicchan sleeps in your bed."

"I hope you still wash my covers."

"Of course we do, little brother," Mari said as she snickered. "Anyway, did you get a look at the person who interrupted your skating?" Yuri shook his head. "For shame. I was hoping that you did. I'm curious."

"This is the second time this week this has happened."

"What happened the first time?"

"Well, the first time I saw this large shadow." Mari nodded. "It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Are you going to tell your doctor about it?"

"I have to. Coach Cialdini told me to." Mari snickered. "What?"

"I'm just laughing at how you yield so easily to your coach. I never thought you to be submissive."

"In order to receive instruction, you have to be submissive to some extent."

"But so submissive that your coach tells you to 'jump' and you essentially respond with 'okay'?" Mari snickered some more. "Aren't you cooking right now?" Yuri looked over at the stove.

"It's just water. It'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Yuri nodded. "Alright then." Mari smiled.

"Isn't it morning already?" Mari nodded. "Are you trying to sleep in?" Mari nodded again.

"I saw Yuko and Takeshi yesterday. They're both upset that you won't be able to make it." Yuri shrugged and paid attention to the boiling water. Then he added some more water. "Are you upset about it? Not being able to go, I mean."

"Yes. Highly."

"I'll leave you to your cooking. I don't want to see a fire happen because you decided to pay more attention to me than to your dinner." Mari smiled. "I love you, kid. I'll tell Mom and Dad that you say 'hi.'" Yuri nodded and ended the call. Then he actually started dinner.

#

 **(Friday, 11 September 2015 – 6:55pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit stayed in class late today. Yuri had already eaten and he was watching Phichit eat. "How was skating?"

"I was interrupted."

"Shadows?" Yuri shook his head. "No? What was it this time?"

"A person was observing me." Phichit made a face. "A real person." Yuri stretched. "These interruptions are actually bothering me very much." Phichit grabbed the remote and turned off Stone Quackers. Yuri has this idea that watching American shows would help him with understanding English. He wasn't exactly wrong.

"Yuri, this is just a suggestion, but have you considered going in the morning?"

"They don't open until 9am." Phichit ate some more of his ramen. "So I suppose I'll have to keep at my current schedule." Yuri stretched again. "I'm sure that I won't keep getting interrupted like this." Phichit shrugged. "I'm going to go take a shower."

"You do that." Phichit smiled. Yuri got up and went to bathe.

#

 **(Saturday, 12 September 2015 – 12:01am, Detroit, Michigan)**

It's midnight and our friend was trying to sleep. "Mon chou," Phichit said. He's wide awake. "Do you want to go to a party?"

"Right now? It's midnight."

"I mean tonight."

"Would a party really be the best of ideas?"

"Yes!" Phichit exclaimed. "You need to get your mind off of these disruptions and we could both use some fun."

"The semester just started."

"If you don't go with me, I'll leak the video of you dancing at the last party we went to." Yuri sat up and turned on his light. "Yes, I am being serious." Yuri made eye contact with Phichit; he was grinning.

"I'll go."

"Are you going for _me_ or are you going because you don't want me to leak the videos of you –"

"Does it really matter at this point?" Yuri chuckled. "I'm going to the party with you, mon canard." Phichit chuckled. "But don't think I'm going to enjoy being there." Yuri turned off his light and laid back down. "I'm going to complain the entire time."

"No you won't."

"Yes I will." The boys laughed. "Alright, I'm going to try to sleep now. Goodnight, mon lapin."

#

 **(Saturday, 12 September 2015 – 9:55pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

The party was a complete bacchanal. A flock of Caribbean girls were there. Yuri always felt that they have the ability to make any sort of gathering better. Be it a party, assembly, or a funeral, they can make everything lively.

It kind ofhelps that they all adore Yuri's presence. That made it easier for him to loosen up.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I totally don't work on my fanfics in class, y'all.


	6. Chapter 6

Ryuugazaki: I will never be over Chihokogate.

* * *

Chapter Six

 **(Wednesday, 16 September 2015 – 8:45am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Professor Heiner was running late again. Victor Nikiforov wasn't.

"Hey Yuri," Victor said as he walked into the room. Yuri looked up from his sketch of The Lantern Ghost and waved. Victor took his seat next to Yuri. "I see you're drawing again." Yuri nodded. "What's that supposed to be?"

"Just a sketch of The Lantern Ghost."

"Who made that?"

"Katsushika Hokusai."

"And that is…?"

"A Japanese painter. My sister loves him and Hiroshige." Victor stayed silent. "I doubt any American museums here have any of his work, but it's on a lot of websites."

"Where's your family from?"

"Japan." Yuri started to draw the lantern. Victor stayed silent.

"You never answered me about working together for this class," Victor said.

"Well, you didn't ask me a question." Victor looked at Yuri. "Also, I'm not very interested in working alongside people. Sorry."

"Well, when we start going to museums for class, we should go together!" Victor said.

"Didn't I just say that I didn't want to work alongside people?" Victor pursed his lips.

"Do you really consider going to a museum with someone 'group work'?" Yuri stopped drawing. "All I'm suggesting is that we just go together. Once we get there, we can split up and go our separate ways." Yuri looked straight ahead. "What do you say?"

"Fine. When do you want to go?" Yuri murmured and resumed drawing.

"This Friday? We can meet at the deli." Yuri nodded. "You look pensive."

"And you talk a lot." Victor snickered. "And I still can't believe that this is happening _,_ " Yuri thought. Who would've thought that the top figure skater in the entire world would be in the same room as Yuri Katsuki? No one. That's who.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"I have class."

"Will you be in the library tomorrow?"

"I will. After class." Victor snickered. "I don't understand what's so funny." Yuri looked at him. Today he was wearing dress pants, Timbs, and a long-sleeved shirt. "I have a question, though," Yuri said, trying to keep his voice low.

"Ask away."

"Why do you look so different in the pictures I've seen of you?" Victor made a face. Yuri turned to face him. "In the last magazine interview, you looked really different. What changed?"

"Well, I grew my hair out some more and I finally started trying to sleep like a normal person. After all, my age is starting to catch up to me now." Victor smiled. "Does that answer your question?" Yuri nodded. "I'm glad to have answered you effectively."

"You're looking at me funny." Victor wiped his face.

"Am I now?"

"Yes, you are."

"How am I looking?"

"You're giving me bedroom eyes." Yuri and Victor blushed. "This is very awkward." Yuri turned to face the front.

"I am not giving you bedroom eyes, Yuri."

"Mm-hm." Victor took his notebook out of his bag. "Do you know if the professor is coming today?" Yuri shrugged. After a weighty pause, Professor Heiner came in and started her spiel on why she was late today. It was something about a disabled vehicle that caused traffic to get backed up.

#

 **(Wednesday, 16 September 2015 – 11:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Class was almost over and Victor was busy writing another note. Yuri was attempting to take notes on the subject at hand, but, eventually, he resumed his doodling. Professor Heiner was simply a bore and no one was giving her attention. Victor looked over his note, folded it, and passed it to Yuri. Victor smiled and motioned for Yuri to open it; he did so. Yuri scanned the note, trying to understand what was written, but eventually gave up. He put the note into his binder and resumed paying attention to the lecture.

"Alright class, your homework for this week is to go to the museum, pick a piece of art, and analyze it. It is due next Wednesday." Professor Heiner dismissed the class.

"Did you read my note?" Victor asked Yuri as he stood.

"I'll do it later," he mumbled. Victor smiled.

"You should give me your number," Victor said, quickly. "So I can text you about Friday." Yuri put his binder in his bag and they exchanged numbers. "Great! What class are you going to next?"

"I have math."

"Oh, so you're a math major?" Yuri shook his head. "No?"

"No."

"So what's your major?"

"Fine art." Yuri started walking towards the door; Victor stayed there. "Aren't you coming with me?" Victor scrambled to gather his things and hurried after Yuri. Victor and Yuri walked down the halls, shoulder to shoulder, discussing nothing.

But now it's time for math.

"It was really nice talking to you, Yuri." Yuri nodded. "I'll text you later, I suppose." Yuri nodded again.

"I suppose this is a 'bye' then."

"It is! _До скорого!_ " Victor said as Yuri walked into his math class.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Hey I finished chapter six.

Also, "До скорого!" is phonetically written as "do skorogo" and means "see you." I hope you've enjoyed your Russian lesson with Rei Ryuugazaki.


	7. Chapter 7

Ryuugazaki: To everyone who is leaving supportive comments (let's be real here, they're all really supportive), I thank you so much for them! You're all so sweet!

* * *

Chapter Seven  
 **(Thursday, 17 September 2015 – 7:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Another Thursday, another day at the rink. Phichit came in late today; he had to talk to his chemistry professor. Phichit is such a good, pure child. Yuri was already on the ice, practicing his toe loops. Yuri stopped practicing his toe loops and started gliding. He waved at Phichit every time he passed by him. Two of the female skaters – Masabeeh and Tal'at – were giggling every time Yuri would pass by.

"You two are so adorable!" Masabeeh said. Yuri attempted an axel; his landing was unsteady and he fell face first onto the ice. "Oh no!" Yuri put his thumb up. "Oh okay. He's fine now." Tal'at chuckled.

"Yuri! What did I say about attempting jumps?!" Coach Cialdino chastised him as he helped Yuri up. "Go sit down. Tal'at, it's your turn." Phichit greeted Yuri at the edge of the rink and sat him down. Masabeeh moved to sit with Phichit and Yuri.

"That was quite a landing, Yuri," Masabeeh said. "I hope you don't bruise or anything."

"Thanks, Masabeeh." Phichit and Masabeeh started talking about the upcoming events. Yuri was paying attention to Tal'at's routine when his phone buzzed. He took out his phone. It's from Victor.

 _ **Victor: How were your classes today?**_

Yuri quickly texted him a "fine" and put his phone away. His phone buzzed again.

 _ **Victor: What are you doing right now?**_  
 _ **: I'm at practice right now.**_

Yuri put his phone away. It buzzed again. Phichit grabbed it. "Who are you texting?" Phichit woke Yuri's phone. "Who is 'Victor'?"

"That guy from my art history class."

"You have his number?"

"He gave it to me today." Phichit nodded and gave Yuri his phone. "Can you put it back for me? I don't like texting during practice." Phichit did as he was asked and Yuri continued to watch Tal'at practice.

#

 **(Thursday, 17 September 2015 – 8:43pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"What prompted this number exchange?" Phichit asked as he locked the door.

"He suggested that we go to the museum together this week and we exchanged numbers so we can talk about our plans." Phichit nodded and stretched. "Do you want to order something?"

"Do you have anything in mind?"

"It's been a while since we've had pizza." Phichit laughed. "You shower. I'll order." Phichit complied and Yuri ordered. Then Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: What do you practice? How was it?**_  
 _ **: Skating.**_  
 _ **: And it was okay.**_  
 _ **Victor: That's great! So, about Friday.**_  
 _ **: What of it?**_  
 _ **Victor: Can we meet at**_ 1:30pm _ **?**_  
 _ **: In front of the deli?**_  
 _ **Victor: Yep :*)**_

Victor and Yuri texted back and forth. Victor was the more verbose one in this conversation. Phichit came out of the shower, dressed in his pajamas. "Still texting Victor?" Yuri nodded. "This is the most I've seen you interact with your phone that _doesn't_ involve Mari or Yuko." Phichit chuckled. He was wearing his hamster pajama pants. Phichit sat on the back of the sofa and looked over Yuri's shoulder.

"Ooh, you're having a conversation," Phichit taunted.

"Yeah." Yuri chuckled. "He's nice."

"What does he look like?"

"Long, silver hair. Turquoise eyes. Taller than me." Phichit hesitated. Yuri looked up at him. He was absolutely stunned by the thought of who it could be. "It's him."

"And he's talking _to you_." Yuri nodded. "Your childhood idol is talking to you! You have each other's numbers!" Phichit was having a moment. "This is so exciting! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

"I didn't know his name and I couldn't tell it was him. He looks a lot different in person." Yuri smiled. "And he sits next to me in class, too. It's so weird." Phichit squealed. Yuri's phone buzzed. No doubt it's Victor.

"Answer him! Answer him!" Yuri checked his phone and read the text. "What does it say?!"

"'Do you like coffee? Because we can stop for coffee before/after we go to the museum.'"

"He's asking you out on a coffee date. You better say yes!"

"He's just asking if I like coffee. It's not a big deal." Yuri responded with a 'I don't care much for coffee, really.' His phone buzzed again. He replied with an "Aww, well you can get something else from the café." Phichit was still looming over Yuri's shoulders. "Should I just let you read the chat log?"

"That would be nice." They chuckled. Yuri gave Phichit his phone and he scrolled to the top of the messages. Yuri moved to get up to take a shower but Phichit grabbed him by his shoulder. "Sit down." Yuri sat. Phichit started frantically patting Yuri's shoulder. After Phichit reached the end of the texts, he started shaking Yuri.

"Calm down now." Phichit was giggling madly.

"He is so! into you!"

"He is _not_."

"Right. I believe you." Phichit said, not even attempting to mask the sarcasm. "What did you two do in class yesterday?"

"I was drawing and he wasn't paying attention in class." Phichit nodded. "And, before you say anything, I _was_ paying attention. I was just drawing while I was paying attention."

"And?"

"Then Victor gave me a note."

"What did it say?" Yuri shrugged. "You don't know what it says?"

"I couldn't read it."

"Do you still have it?" Yuri nodded and went to his binder for it. "We're actually going to look at Victor Nikiforov's handwriting! Aah this is exciting!" Yuri chuckled. "My best friend and roommate is going on a date –"

"It's not a date –"

"With Victor Nikiforov, the figure skating champion of the world!" Phichit giggled and grinned and usurped Yuri's spot on the sofa. Yuri gave Phichit the notes Victor wrote. "These are the notes? Great!" Yuri placed his feet on Phichit's lap and looked at his friend as he analyzed the notes. Phichit's face went blank.

"Do you understand any of it?"

"What language is this?" Yuri shrugged. "Is his handwriting consistently _this_ bad?" Phichit bit his lip. "How does he even understand his class notes?" Yuri yawned. "Is this a big game to him?! I don't understand!"

"That's why I don't bother with reading his notes. I can't understand them. So I suppose they don't mean anything."

"He wrote several lines in Note #2 and Note #3. They _have_ to mean something!" Yuri shrugged. "Did you order our food already?" Yuri nodded. "You take a shower. I'll wait for the food." Yuri got up and showered while Phichit waited for the food.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm sorry that I'm kinda late and stuff. I was working on my psych portfolio and I had to "study" for my final. (Psst. I didn't study. I was just on tumblr.)

Also, I apologize if the formatting of the texts is a bit wonky and stuff. I'm still not sure how exactly I'm going to format text logs. Especially on FFN.

Además, if I say that this is "late" I mean that I was late posting it. I'm usually two chapters ahead of the one I'm posting. (So, for example, if I say that chapter eight is late, I'm already writing chapter ten.)


	8. Chapter 8

Ryuugazaki: I'm gonna be honest with y'all here: I wrote this in one shot and I didn't predict anything that happened here happening.

* * *

Chapter Eight  
 **(Friday, 18 September 2015 – 1:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was waiting in front of the deli, dressed as casually as possible. Phichit insisted that he was the one to pick out Yuri's outfit. Phichit's goal was to amaze Victor and he needed complete control. So Yuri was in a pair of navy blue dress pants, sneakers, and a black and white shirt. Phichit was sure that this outfit would amaze him.

"Yuri!" Victor approached Yuri from his left. "You made it!" He nodded. Victor was in jeans, a floral shirt, and sneakers.

"Yeah, I got out of bed today." Victor chuckled.

"You look dapper."

"Thanks. My roommate picked out my clothes." Yuri casually said. Victor was cackling at that. "Do you want to stop for something before we go to the museum?" Yuri put his phone in his pocket. "We can stop in the deli for a soda, we can go to the café for a coffee or a cake pop… You have options."

"Well, do _you_ want something?"

"I don't know. I'll get something if you get something." Yuri was insistent. Victor chuckled.

"Let's get something after we go, then." Victor cracked his knuckles. "The museum I'm thinking of isn't too far. It's actually close to the college." Victor started walking and Yuri followed. They made light conversation. But then Victor said this: "So you have a roommate?"

"Yeah." 

"And he picked out your clothes today?"

"He did." Victor chuckled. "My roommate is like that." Victor nodded. They stopped at a cross light. "Do you have a roommate?"

"No, just an apartment." Yuri nodded. "It's kind of lonely, but I value the silence." Yuri nodded again. "So what do you do with your roommate?" Victor cleared his throat. "I'm just curious. I've never had a roommate before."

"We help each other with homework. We cook dinner for each other. We go out together. You know, best friend-roommate stuff." Victor nodded. The light changed to green and they started walking again. "What do you do in your free time?"

"I practice and I read." Yuri nodded. "I read a lot, actually. It's very cathartic." Victor smiled. "Do you read a lot?"

"Books? No," Yuri said, shamefacedly. "But I do read about art." Victor moved closer to Yuri. Victor was close enough to grab Yuri's hand, but far enough that people would notice that someone was getting their hand grabbed.

"Why art?"

"My sister would take me to art museums with her and I've been into art ever since." Victor nodded.

"Do you miss her?" Yuri nodded. "I see." They kept walking in an awkward silence.

But then Yuri opened his mouth to ask this: "Have you always been coming here? To Wayne, I mean." He was hesitant in his question and unsure if he was making the right decision by asking it.

"Ever since I've started postgraduate education. But I've usually been taking classes online. I decided that I needed a change of pace."

"So you relocate to America and decide to physically attend classes?"

"Exactly." Victor stretched. "It sounds foolish right now but it's something I wanted to do for a while. I can't keep putting off postgraduate education, can I?" The question wasn't addressed to anyone in particular. "I'm only young for so long now."

"Are you having an existential crisis?" Yuri blurted out.

"Me? Oh no, no." Victor scrambled to clean up his words. "I'm just thinking out loud. Sorry."

"It's fine." They stopped at another light. "Have you made any new friends while you're here?"

"No, sadly," Victor mused. "But I met you. That has to count for something. Right?" Yuri nodded. The light changed. "Walk." They started walking again.

"Why exactly did you choose me to talk to? There's so many other people."

"You complimented my hair." Victor chuckled. "And you looked interesting. I like talking to interesting people." They turned the corner and kept walking. "Is it wrong for me to want to talk to an interesting person?"

"Of course not," Yuri said. "But you have to understand that–"

"Every interaction we have together is weird and one-sided." Yuri looked at Victor. "Yes, one-sided." Victor reached into his pocket and put a note in Yuri's hand. "Read that when you get the chance."

"Why do you keep giving me these notes?" Yuri adjusted his glasses. "You keep giving me these papers and I–"

"We're here." Victor gestured towards the steps of the museum. "Let's go!" Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and pulled him up the steps. Yuri was blushing furiously right now. Yuri couldn't tell if Victor was blushing like he was, but Yuri knew that he wanted to follow him wherever he went.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I took my psychology final today.


	9. Chapter 9

Ryuugazaki: This is the chapter in which Yuri and Victor are being art nerds together.

* * *

Chapter Nine  
 **(Friday, 18 September 2015 – 3:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri and Victor didn't separate like they originally planned at the museum. Instead, they followed each other around, making notes of the artwork they encountered. They got looks from people because of how close together they were standing, but it didn't cause any problems. Now they're in the café.

"How was the museum? What was your favorite part? Victor asked as he stirred his coffee.

"The museum was great!" Yuri looked down at his iced tea. Victor smiled. "I think I really like the Rembrandt exhibit."

"Rembrandt's usage of dark colors is very nice. The landscape paintings he's done reminds me of the winters at home." Victor stopped stirring his coffee and put the cap on it. "I think my favorite exhibit was the Rembrandt exhibit, too. I really liked The Visitation. The Self-Portrait Study one was very nice, too."

"It's pretty dark, though."

"Yes. In terms of brightness, Rembrandt paintings are very dark." Victor took a sip of his coffee. He made a face. "Scorched my tongue." Yuri chuckled. "What do you usually get from here?"

"Depending on the weather, either an iced tea or a Frappuccino." Victor nodded. Yuri kept looking at the exit. "And yourself?"

"Any day is a good day for coffee. I love it." Victor smiled. Victor stared at Yuri as Yuri stared at his iced tea. Victor reached into his pocket and the object he had made crumpling sounds. "Do you like Western art?"

"It's okay."

"I should introduce you to Monet and Degas, then. I feel like they're up your alley."

"I've seen many pieces by Monet and Degas. Show me something new, something exciting." Yuri chuckled. Victor was smirking. "I am such a hoe for art." Victor was grinning from ear to ear. "And maybe I'll introduce you to Hiroshige, Hokusai, and Masanobu." Victor nodded. "Oh," Yuri started, "I never asked you what your major was."

"English." Yuri deadpanned.

"English? Really?"

"Yes, really." Victor took a sip of coffee. "Did you not expect me to be an English major?"

"Not at all." Yuri shifted in his seat. "Why English?"

"I've spoken it for many years and I really like speaking it and reading in it." Victor smiled. "It's a funny language, but I like it." Yuri took a sip of his iced tea. "I might go into teaching, publishing, or writing after I retire from skating, b–"

"I hope you never retire." Yuri bit his tongue at his forwardness. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cut you off." Victor smiled. "If you choose to retire then –"

"Yuri, you don't have to clean up your statement. It's nice to see a fan so passionate about something." Yuri's hands grew clammy. As far as Yuri knew, Victor knew nothing about Yuri's budding figure skating career or how he's planning on competing against him at the Grand Prix this year. Should Yuri tell him now and risk destroying his budding friendship with his celebrity crush? Or should Yuri just wait until the Grand Prix and run into him there? Either way, our friend was confused and anxiety-riddled. "Hey, do you want to see something?"

"What is it?"

"Don't worry about it." Victor took out his phone. Yuri was gazing at the screen. "Don't look yet!" Victor tilted his phone towards his body. "Wait, before I continue, I should get a contact photo of you. Pose for me!" Yuri threw up a 'peace' sign. "There we go! Okay. You can stop posing now." Yuri chuckled. He decided to not think about literally competing against his celebrity crush right now. Right now, instead, he would focus on enjoying his museum outing with his celebrity crush, instead. "This is Nova Aurigae by Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz. It's really colorful and very different from Rembrandt." Yuri nodded. Victor scrolled through his phone. "And this one is Fantasy. It's also by Witkiewicz."

"Where is, um, that person from?"

"Witkiewicz? He's Polish." Yuri nodded. "Later I should show you some Kramskoi and Mayakovsky." Victor smiled sweetly at Yuri. Yuri tried to return it. "Ah, you look so sweet." Yuri blushed and grinned goofily. "We should do this again next week. I mean, we have to go to the museum next week, but we should go to the museum together next week." Victor put his phone face up on the table. It buzzed. It's a message from Christophe. "Oh wait, pose for another picture."

"Okay," Yuri said and took a sip of his iced tea. Victor unlocked his phone and took a flick of Yuri. "Did you already take it? I wasn't ready!"

"You look great."

"I'm not sure of that."

"Well I am and I am certain. You look great, Yuri." Victor did his best to assure him.

"Who was my photo for?"

"Chris Giacometti."

"Him?" Victor nodded. "He's about a year older than me, right?" Victor paused. "I'm 22." Victor nodded. "I thought so." Victor took a sip of coffee. "Are you two friends?"

"Extremely close friends." Yuri nodded. "I told him that I was going to the museum today and he wanted updates."

"So you send him my picture."

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?" Victor smiled.

"What did you just text him?"

"'Out for coffee with… Yuri.'" Victor put his phone in his pocket. "Chris is very excited to see that I'm hanging out with people." Yuri made a face. "Well, with someone I am interested in getting to know, that is."

"You want… to get to know me?"

"Sure! Why wouldn't I?" Victor took another sip of coffee. "You're nice and you can actually say my name." Yuri chuckled. "I like you, Yuri Katsuki." Victor's middle finger stroked Yuri's middle knuckle. "Oh! Before I forget!" Victor reached into his pocket and placed a piece of paper in his hand.

"Another one?"

"Another one." Yuri put the paper in his messenger bag and paid attention to his iced tea. Victor went back to stroking Yuri's knuckles. Yuri's face was turning a rose color. "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Probably practicing or working on my coursework." Yuri took a sip of his beverage. "Yourself?"

"Same, probably practicing or working on classwork." Victor looked Yuri in the eyes. "You seem anxious. Is something bothering you?"

"I can't remember if I was supposed to text my roommate. Also, you're still touching me." Victor chuckled but didn't stop stroking Yuri's knuckles. "I'll text him. Just to be safe." Victor nodded. "Pose for me." Victor smiled and posed for a flick. "Thank you." Yuri sent the picture to Phichit.

 _ **Phichit: !  
**_ _ **Phichit: It's really him!  
**_ _ **Phichit: Tell him I love him!  
**_ _ **: No. Love you.**_

Yuri chuckled. Victor's phone buzzed again. He took out his phone.

 _ **Chris: Oh doesn't he look like a snack lmao  
**_ _ **Chris: He's cute. You have good taste.  
**_ _ **Chris: Wait, duh. Ofc you have good taste.  
**_ _ **Chris: Proud of you for having good taste, love.  
**_ _ **Chris: You may continue loving the pants off of him.**_

Victor and Yuri chuckled. "Was that Chris?" Victor nodded.

"He's being very Chris-like." Victor smiled. "Do you want to get going? Your roommate might be getting concerned."

"I don't know. Let me ask him."

 _ **: Are you concerned about my wellbeing right now?**_  
 _ **Phichit: Should I be?  
**_ _ **Phichit: I mean  
**_ _ **Phichit: I'm not, but should I be concerned?  
**_ _ **Phichit: You're safe, aren't you?  
**_ _ **: Very.  
**_ _ **Phichit: Oh okay good. Come back whenever. Love you, mon chou.  
**_ _ **: I love you too mon canard**_

"He said 'come back whenever.' So I guess I can come back whenever." Victor chuckled. "Do you want to do anything?" Yuri internally kicked himself when he said that. "I mean if you _want_ to do anything else with me. You don't have to."

"Yuri, let me just take you home. You seem like you're going to physically have a meltdown if I keep you out any longer." Victor stopped stroking Yuri's knuckles. "Come on. I'll walk you home." Victor grabbed his bag, got up, and held his hand out for Yuri to grab. Yuri looked down at Victor's hand like it was a foreign object.

"Don't you want your coffee?"

"I'll get that once I get you situated." Yuri grabbed Victor's hand and Victor supported him as he got out of the chair. They grabbed their drinks and they walked. "Where do you live? You should probably be guiding me. Not the other way around." Yuri's hand went limp. "Do you want me to keep holding your hand?"

"Do whatever."

"That isn't helpful."

"Fine. Hold my hand." Yuri's breath hitched as Victor held Yuri's hand a bit tighter. "Now lead." Yuri hesitantly took the lead and walked Victor back to the apartment he shared with Phichit. "You did it." Yuri nodded. He was sweating and shaking and his heart was threatening to burst out of his chest. They stood in front of Yuri's apartment door, neither of them letting go of the other's hand.

"Thank you for walking me home."

"And thank you for accompanying me to the museum."

"Text me when you get home?"

"I will."

"Wait! Before you go!" Yuri grabbed his phone with his shaky hands and took a flick of his hand holding Victor's. The picture, surprisingly, didn't come out shaky. "I'm really glad you walked me home." Yuri smiled sweetly – and it was genuine this time, too. "Talk to you later, Victor."

"Same to you, Yuri."

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Man that was some art hoe-ish gayness. And I am here for it. All seven pages of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Ryuugazaki: I've realized that I'm going to have to try and out-do myself after chapter nine. It was too much and now I have to make it more too much.

* * *

Chapter Ten  
 **(Friday, 18 September 2015 – 4:55pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri closed the apartment door and sat on the sofa. He kept looking at his left that. "I can't believe this is happening," he said to himself as he stared at his left hand. He was in disbelief: he went on – what Phichit would call – a date with the person he is infatuated with, that person said that they liked him, that person touched him, and that person held his hand and didn't let go. Yuri was simply stunned. "I don't think I'll ever wash this hand again."

"I'd probably continue to practice standard hygiene practices if I were you." Phichit came into the living room and plopped down next to Yuri. "How was your date?" Phichit chuckled. Yuri stayed silent. "What is this? You're not going to try and counter me this time?"

"I don't know what even happened today."

"What? What do you mean? Did something happen?"

"Today felt like it had more meaning to it than just a casual outing." Phichit grinned. "I'm not sure if you could call it a date, though."

"I need to know why you said you weren't going to wash your hands ever again, though."

"Victor touched me and held my hand today." Phichit gasped. Yuri was glad to see that someone else was sharing this feeling with him. "It felt nice." Phichit smiled. "Victor feels nice. We're going to the museum next week."

"It's another date!"

"I wouldn't call it a date, but okay," Yuri chuckled. "But suppose this _was_ a date, what do I do?" Phichit stroked his chin. "Do I remain casual? What do I do if he flirts with me?"

"Flirt back, obviously." Yuri made a face. "Be endearing."

"He already thinks I'm 'sweet.'" Phichit nodded. "He said he likes me. I don't know how to feel."

"Well, he said that he likes you. That's a good thing!" Phichit yawned. "I was napping when you came in. Do you need me to pick out your clothes for next week?" Yuri nodded. "Did he think you looked nice today?"

"He did. Then I explained to him that you picked out my clothes." Phichit laughed. "Yeah, he laughed, too." Yuri chuckled. "He gave me two notes today."

"Two?!" Yuri nodded. "Two!" He took them out of his bag and gave them to Phichit. Phichit opened them and squinted. "Oh, I can recognize one word."

"What's the word?"

"Ears." Yuri deadpanned. "I'm very serious. It's the word 'ears.'" Phichit gave back the notes. "He's being a goofball. I'm sorry, mon canard."

"It's fine, mon lapin." Yuri smiled. "So what did you do while I was out?"

"I played with the hamsters." Phichit smiled. "They are very energetic." Yuri chuckled. "But, then again, they are always energetic." Yuri unlocked his phone and scrolled to the picture of Yuri and Victor's hands. He held his phone in front of his friend's face and waited for him to respond to it. "Is that your hand?" Yuri had a small mole near his left thumb. Yuri nodded. "Is that Victor's hand?" Yuri nodded again. "You two are so! into each other!" Phichit squealed. "Send me that picture! I need that picture!" Yuri sent the photo to Phichit and smiled. Yuri's phone buzzed. "Is that Victor? Answer him!"

 _ **Victor: Made it home.**_  
 _ **: Great!**_  
 _ **Victor: Today was fun. I really enjoyed it.**_  
 _ **: I enjoyed it, too.**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_

Victor sent a photo of himself in bed, cuddled up with his pillow. His pajama shirt was olive green and he was clutching a teal mandala pillow. His face was slightly obscured by the pillow. Yuri showed the photo to Phichit. Phichit smiled.

"Can we stop talking about Victor right now? I'd really like to hear about your day with the hamsters."

"Okay!" Phichit said as he started talking about his hamsters, and, eventually, hamsters in general. He loves hamsters. Like, _loves_ loves hamsters.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Phichit is totally the head shipper on deck.

EDIT: Also I am sorry that it took me literally ten days to post this. I was working on the subsequent chapters.


	11. Chapter 11

Ryuugazaki: I'm still surprised that I'm still writing!

* * *

Chapter Eleven  
 **(Tuesday, 22 September 2015 – 12:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Hello, Yuri!" Yuri's therapist came to the waiting room to gather him. Luzia stood at the entrance of the waiting room in a teal skirt, a white tanktop, and a white cardigan. Yuri got up and followed her to her office. "It's been awhile since I've seen you. I'm glad you were able to keep your appointment today." Yuri nodded. Luzia unlocked her door and allowed Yuri to step inside. He sat in the seat closest to the door. "How have you been since I last saw you?"

"I've been okay."

"Good! How was class today?" Luzia sat at her desk. Standing, Luzia was Yuri's height and her big, black afro added to her height. Yuri thought she was adorable and absolutely great in all of her penny brown glory. "You're retaking your freshman year classes currently, right?" Yuri nodded. "Is that making you anxious? How are you managing that?"

"Well, for my French class, I just kind of suck it up and go to class." Luzia nodded.

"What other classes are you taking?" Yuri took out his phone. His school has an app that outlines his schedule. He gave his phone to Luzia and she looked. "I see. And how is your European history class?"

"Boring." He shared a laugh with Luzia. "I mean, I suppose it's necessary since I am here, after all, but it's boring." Luzia chuckled. "Oh, and before I forget, Coach Cialdini told me to tell you something." She nodded. "Recently I saw shadows while I was practicing my routine about a week ago. Coach wanted me to tell you that." She nodded.

"Describe the shadow to me."

"It was large and tall and it was observing me."

"Just observing?"

"Just observing." Luzia nodded.

"Has this happened before?" Yuri nodded. "I'm going to call in Noêmia if that's okay with you." Yuri nodded. Luzia picked up her phone and dialed Noêmia's extension. "Hey Noêmia! I'm with Yuri right now. I'd like it if you could come in so we can quickly discuss Yuri's medicine." Yuri looked at his knuckles turning white; he was clenching his fists. "You can come in? Great! See you in a bit." Noêmia Souza is Yuri's psychiatrist and she has been as long as Luzia has been Yuri's therapist. Noêmia was about 5'4, was a tortilla color, and had brown, wavy hair.

"Noêmia's coming." Yuri repeated.

"Do you have an appointment with her set up?" Yuri shook his head. "Okay." Luzia smiled. "How's Phichit and his hamsters?"

"They're good."

"Hey!" Noêmia came into the office and sat in the chair by the door. "So, what brings me to you today?" Noêmia smiled.

"Yuri, do you want me to tell her?" Yuri nodded. "Okay. So, Yuri was practicing his skating routine and he saw a large shadow observing him." Noêmia nodded.

Noêmia turned to him and said, "Did it do anything else?" Yuri shook his head. "It was just observing him."

"And it's happened before, too," Luzia said. Noêmia nodded. "What are you thinking about?"

"Yuri, you're not on any antipsychotics, are you? Just Lexapro and Xanax?" Yuri nodded. "Alright, I would like to try adding an antipsychotic to your medicine. Just to see if it works to stop the shadows." Luzia nodded. "Are you okay with taking another medicine?" Yuri nodded. "Okay. Luzia, may I use your computer?" Luzia got out of her seat and let Noêmia sit in her spot. "I'm going to start you on 7.5mg of Zyprexa. It's not the lowest dose possible, but it should be effective enough." Yuri nodded. Noêmia started to do her psychiatrist stuff. "I will warn you right now that Zyprexa has a sedating effect so you _may_ feel more tired than usual. It might also make you feel hungrier than usual. Since it's likely that you'll be eating a lot more because of it, I highly suggest that you see your medical doctor more often to monitor your cholesterol levels." Yuri nodded. "Yuri," Noêmia said.

"Yes?" Yuri looked intently at his psychiatrist.

"I'm also going to need you to start seeing me every two weeks." Yuri nodded. "This is to monitor how the medicine is going. And it is necessary that you actually come to see me or else I will have to call the mobile crisis unit." Yuri took a deep breath. "So you absolutely must keep your appointments." Yuri nodded. "Good."

"Did you speak to anyone new, Yuri?" Luzia asked. He nodded. "Great! I'm proud of you." He smiled sweetly. "What did you talk about with this person?"

"I told him he had nice hair." Luzia nodded. "And he gave me his number." Luzia made a face. "He didn't give me his number after I complimented him… But he did give me his number after I complimented him."

"Was this at a later date?"

"Yes!"

"Oh okay." Luzia nodded. "What prompted this number exchange?"

"He suggested that we work on our art history homework together." Luzia nodded.

"Okay! And your prescription has been sent to your pharmacy. Remember to pick it up." Yuri nodded. "And I glad to hear that you've made a friend. Remember to schedule an appointment with me." Noêmia said, sweetly. "Now, pardon me, I think I have a patient waiting for me." She smiled and excused herself from Luzia's office.

Luzia returned to her seat and session continued on as usual.

#

 **(Tuesday, 22 September 2015 – 1:40pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Session was over and Yuri got his carfare. He was waiting for the bus that would take him home. _"But I have to get my new medicine."_ Yuri reminded himself. He told himself that he could ride for two more stops, walk to the pharmacy, and then walk home. The pharmacy he goes to wasn't far from his home at all. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: Hey!** **Wyd** **((heart emoji))**_

Yuri stopped at his pharmacy. "Ah, hello!" His pharmacist was Desi – specifically Bangladeshi. "I'm going to fill your prescription right now." Yuri nodded and sat in one of the seats provided.

 _ **: I just came from my appointment. And yourself?**_  
 _ **Victor: Oh, that explains why I didn't see you today.**_  
 _ **: Did you miss me?**_  
 _ **Victor: Very much ((sparkling heart emoji))**_

Yuri snickered.

 _ **Victor: How was your appointment, солнышко?**_  
 _ **: It was fine. My doctor told me to pick up my new medicine.**_

Yuri paid no mind the small, Cyrillic text; he figured that it meant nothing. "How have you been?" Yuri's pharmacist came back to the front with Yuri's medicine.

"I've been fine," Yuri murmured and signed for his medicine. "I'll see you later." Yuri's pharmacist waved Yuri off and Yuri walked home.

 _ **Victor: Ooh, I hope your new medicine treats you kindly.**_  
 _ **: Thank you very much.**_  
 _ **: What are you doing?**_  
 _ **Victor: Not in class.**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Victor: It's me :*)**_

Victor sent a selfie of him in bed. He looked like he was relaxing; he happened to be topless. Yuri snapped a quick flick of himself, looking unamused, and sent it to Victor.

 _ **Victor: Look at голубушка ((sparkly heart emoji))**_  
 _ **Victor: You're coming to class tomorrow, right?**_  
 _ **: Should be if I don't die sometime between tonight and tomorrow morning.**_  
 _ **Victor: Well, I hope that nothing unfortunate happens and that I see you tomorrow.**_

Yuri placed his new medicine with the Lexapro and Xanax and laid down. Phichit is in his class and Victor is at home, relaxing, and Yuri wanted to do _something_.

"Well, I haven't drawn anything with my Wacom in a while," Yuri said. "So I suppose I will draw with my Wacom." Yuri went to his dresser drawer and pulled out his Wacom. He sat back on his bed and started to draw a figure in motion. "Why haven't I drawn in so long? I like drawing," he muttered to himself. Then he got his layers confused. "Oh, that's why," he murmured and continued to try and fix the layers.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: "Солнышко" is a Russian diminutive for the sun. Phonetically it looks like "solnishko" but the "o" in "solnishko" sounds like an "a." I'd explain why the "o" sometimes sounds like an "a," but I don't really know why either. And I've been practicing Russian for several years. And "Голубушка" is Russian for "my dear" (phonetically written as "golubushka," but the second "u" is kinda longer than the first).

This has been a Russian lesson with Rei Ryuugazaki.


	12. Chapter 12

Ryuugazaki: Ah, the semester is finally over!

* * *

Chapter Twelve

 **(Wednesday, 23 September 2015 – 8:19am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was the first one to class again, and, despite his exhaustion, he was working on a sketch of Hasetsu Castle. Yuri usually gets to art history class at around 7:45am because he's bad at gauging the time it takes to get from his home to class.

"Yuri!" Victor pranced into the classroom and took his seat next to his new friend. "Ah, you're alive," Victor said, tongue-in-cheek. "I'm glad. I would've sorely missed you." Victor leaned back in his desk. "Do you usually draw to pass the time?"

"Only while I'm here." Victor nodded. "Other times I'm drawing but I either actually _want_ to draw or I'm just trying to keep myself occupied."

"Do you like it?"

"I like it enough to be a fine arts major," Yuri said and chuckled. The classroom slowly filled with students, but Victor made Yuri feel like he was the only one in the room.

"Hello, class!" Professor Heiner came in the room – and on time. "I hope all of you did your written assignment for this week. I will be collecting them at the end of class." Yuri looked over at Victor and Victor deadpanned.

 _ **: Did you do it?**_

Victor's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I did, but…**_  
 _ **Victor: I left it at home.**_  
 _ **Victor: Whoops**_

Yuri deadpanned.

 _ **: Go to the library and print it!**_

Victor got up quickly and excused himself. The professor started the lecture and Yuri took notes. Victor came back twelve minutes later with his assignment and sat back down.

 _ **Victor: Printed it.**_

Yuri nodded and started paying attention to his sketch again.

#

 **(Wednesday, 23 September 2015 – 11:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Ah, I am so glad I avoided that unpleasant situation!" Victor said as he patted Yuri's back. "What class do you have next? Math, right?" Yuri nodded. Victor kept his hand on Yuri's back. "I'll wait for you in the library."

"You're going to wait for me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" Victor smiled. "See you after class, Yuri." Victor put his hand in Yuri's hair and walked away. Yuri was stunned despite holding hands with Victor for a period of time. He awkwardly shuffled to class – later than usual – and was in a spacey state of mind.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I like FFN, but I hate how they automatically get rid of extra punctuation marks. In Chapter 9, Phichit added extra exclamations and question marks (because he is totally the type to do that when he is excited about something) and FFN deleted the two extras. Just me having a whinge. Ignore this.

Also, this chapter is literally a throwaway. Like my life :)


	13. Chapter 13

Ryuugazaki: As of writing this (5/8), my semester is over! I can finally do nothing and not feel guilty!

* * *

Chapter Thirteen  
 **(Wednesday, 23 September 2015 – 3:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri walked to the back of the library and found Victor sitting down, reading _Petersburg_. "Hey!" Victor loudly whispered. "You came back for me!" Victor smiled and winked. Yuri sat at the opposite end of the sofa. "Why are you sitting so far?" Victor moved closer to Yuri and turned towards him. "Don't you like being with me?" Yuri's face turned rose red and he covered his mouth. "Are you okay?"

"That was just a really loaded question." Victor made a face. "I'm sorry."

"Am I being too touchy for you?"

"No, no, it's fine. I just have issues with being touched." Victor looked confused. "You can touch me. But I'm still not very used to it." Victor nodded.

"Would you prefer it if I moved slower with the physical contact?" Yuri nodded. "Alright! I'll go slower!" Victor grinned. Yuri smiled sweetly. Victor took down his hair and finger-combed it. "How was your math class?"

"I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention."

"That's not like you. From what I know of you, I mean." Yuri rubbed his eyes. "You usually seem to be very… sharp."

"I'm just really out of it today." Yuri started his new medicine last night. "I'm so tired." Victor nodded.

"Do you want to take a nap?" Yuri nodded. "If you take a nap, will you be missing anything?" Yuri shrugged. "What about your practice?"

"I don't want to go to practice today. I just want to sleep." Victor bit his lip.

"You can lean on me if you want," Victor said. Yuri stayed silent. "I'm going to touch your head now." Victor brushed the hair out of Yuri's face. "Are you okay with leaning on me?" Yuri nodded. Victor moved closer and allowed Yuri's head to rest on his chest. "Sleep well, sweet prince," Victor said as he stroked Yuri's head gently and hummed.

#

 **(Wednesday, 23 September 2015 – 5:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Victor was on his phone, texting Chris when Yuri woke up. "I know you're awake, Yuri." Yuri's head was in Victor's lap because Victor couldn't stand to see Yuri look uncomfortable while he was sleeping. "How was your nap?" Yuri shrugged and rubbed his eyes.

"You let me sleep on you?" Victor nodded and put his phone down. "Thank you."

"It's no problem."

"And you stayed here the entire time?" Victor nodded.

"I took a nap, too." Victor smiled. Yuri's face was turning a peach color. "You look so cute when you snooze."

"I didn't mean to keep you here for so long."

"It's fine. If I wasn't here, I would've been at home doing nothing." Victor's phone buzzed. "It's just Chris. He'll live." Victor smiled. "Are you sure that you don't want to go to practice tonight? Because I can walk you there." Yuri nodded. "Speaking of practice, don't you practice every other day?"

"More or less."

"You practice like you're striving to enter the Olympics." Victor chuckled. Yuri felt his heart descend from its natural place. He still didn't make the decision to tell Victor about his plan to enter the Grand Prix. "However, an aspiring Olympian usually practices more often and more rigorously."

"I've been thinking: How come no one's stopped you here?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're _the_ Victor Nikiforov. I'd expect you to be getting stopped for autographs and pictures."

"I haven't been posting as much on Instagram." Yuri nodded. "Haven't mentioned being in college, haven't posted about our museum excursion, haven't posted about… anything."

"But what about Chris?"

"Chris is flamboyant and brazen but even he knows how to keep his mouth shut." Victor smiled. "I'll introduce you to him if I can convince him to come down here before the Grand Prix preliminaries. He'll love you." Victor stretched. "You should get home. I'll walk you if you want."

"It's fine, really. It's only quarter to 6pm."

"Are you sure?" Yuri nodded. "Alright then. Text me when you get home." Victor stroked Yuri's face and he went home.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: This could've been a lot longer if I wanted it to be.

Also, AiVici, this might be about thirty-six chapters. At first, I was freaking out because I didn't want this to be 500 chapters of art hoe-ing and gayness, but now I'm just like "whatever happens, happens, b." So if this turns out to be thirty-six chapters then that's great. If not then that's okay, too.

Además, I might reveal the notes at the end of the story. I haven't decided yet.


	14. Chapter 14

Ryuugazaki: Wew lad.

* * *

Chapter Fourteen

 **(Wednesday, 23 September 2015 – 6:23pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit was working on dinner tonight. "Ah, you're home!" Phichit stepped away from the stove to give Yuri a hug. "I'm presuming you didn't go to practice today." Yuri shook his head. Phichit walked back to the kitchen and Yuri followed him. "Did your medicine make you feel bad?" Yuri nodded. "Do you feel bad right now?" Yuri shrugged. "Just go to bed."

"What about dinner?"

"I haven't even really started it. I can just eat something quick."

"I feel bad though."

"Don't feel bad. Just go to sleep." Yuri nodded and trudged to his room. He changed into his pajamas without showering and laid down. Then he remembered his medicine, got back up, took the Zyprexa dry, and laid back down.

 _ **Victor: Are you home yet?**_  
 _ **: Yeah. I'm in bed now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Good! You need to get some sleep. You looked miserable today.**_  
 _ **: I feel miserable right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Poor sleep will do that to you lol**_  
 _ **Victor: I'll let you sleep now. I'll text you later.**_

#

 **(Thursday, 24 September 2015 – 10:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was barely awake and he had slept way past the time he was supposed to wake up for class. "Whatever," he murmured as he retreated further under his blankets. "It's just a day of French that I'm missing." Yuri's phone started ringing. "Hello?"

"Hey, mon canard," Phichit said. "Did you get out of bed today?"

"No. I'm still here." Yuri wiped his face and yawned. "I really wanted to go to class today."

"I know. And I tried waking you up but you wouldn't budge." Phichit laughed. "I have a free spot right now. I can talk to you if you want."

"No, it's fine." Yuri wiped his eyes again. "I suppose I'll just spend time with the hamsters today."

"You're not going to practice today, are you?"

"Probably not," Yuri murmured and rolled over.

"Mon poupée," Phichit said, dotingly.

"Phichit, quick question."

"Ask away."

"Do you think you baby me? Maybe just a little bit?" Yuri waited for his friend to respond and got silence. "Hello?"

"I'm still here. That was just a really forward question." Phichit paused. "And I wouldn't call it 'babying.' You're my friend and your meds make you feel bad and I'm just trying to lessen the burden for you. You know?" Yuri nodded. "I'm sure you would do the same for me. Right?"

"Right."

"I'll let you sleep now. Love you, my friend," Phichit said.

"Love you, too," Yuri said and hung up the phone. He got out of bed and went to lay on the sofa. Yuri laid there for a while, drifting in and out of consciousness. After flirting with hypnagogia for what seemed like forever, he turned on the television and watched children's cartoons. He was watching reruns of The Wonder Pets and Oswald when his phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I haven't seen you at all today. Where are you?**_  
 _ **: Home.**_  
 _ **: I didn't leave the apartment today. I don't feel well.**_  
 _ **Victor: Oh dear. How do you feel right now?**_  
 _ **: Drowsy.**_  
 _ **Victor: Do you want me to call you?**_  
 _ **: If you wish.**_

Victor stopped texting and called Yuri. "Hey!"

"Hey."

"So you really are home today." Yuri nodded, momentarily forgetting that the person on the other end wouldn't see him nod. "What are you doing?"

"I'm watching cartoons." Yuri shifted in his space.

"Couldn't find the remote?" Victor chuckled.

"I know where the remote is. I'm just watching cartoons." Victor fell silent. Yuri chuckled. "I'm watching The Wonder Pets."

"I don't know what that is."

"Oh, well let me tell you!" Yuri said, fighting a yawn. "It's a show about these preschool class pets and they go on adventures and save baby animals that are caught in predicaments. They have a theme song, too. I like the theme song." Victor was still silent. "It's quality programming. You learn about teamwork."

"Do you like cartoons?"

"I do. Very much."

"I see." Victor then asked, "What else do you watch?"

"I really like Maggie and the Ferocious Beast and –" Yuri cut himself off. "Never mind." Yuri closed his eyes and let his phone rest on his face. "You think I'm childish now, don't you?"

"I don't."

"Yes, you do." Yuri stayed silent. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to the library now." Yuri nodded. "What are you watching right now?"

"Well, the Wonder Pets went off. So now I'm watching The Backyardigans." Yuri opened his eyes. "Do you know what this one is about?"

"No, tell me please." So Yuri started telling Victor about The Backyardigans which led to him talking about We Bare Bears and Courage the Cowardly Dog and Steven Universe. "We should watch cartoons together!" Yuri said, excitedly. "I mean if you want to. You don't have to." Victor chuckled.

"We should. It'd be fun." Yuri nodded. "Well, I hope I didn't disturb your television watching. I'll text you."

"Okay."

"Feel better."

"I'll try," Yuri said as Victor hung up. Yuri continued watching The Backyardigans. He placed his phone on the arm of the sofa and watched his cartoons uninterrupted. Then he thought about who was going to make dinner tonight and texted Phichit.

 _ **: Do you want me to make dinner?**_  
 _ **Phichit: Only if you feel like you're physically able to.**_  
 _ **: I want to try to tonight.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Okay, poupée ((sparkling heart emoji)))**_

Yuri made a mental note that he was going to be making dinner tonight.

#

 **(Thursday, 24 September 2015 – 4:47pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Poupée!" Phichit said as he came through the door. Yuri was wide awake now, continuing his drawing of Hasetsu Castle. "You're awake!"

"I am. I am awake." Yuri looked up at Phichit. "You came to drop off your books, right?" Phichit nodded. "Can you tell Ciao Ciao that I'm not coming today?"

"Of course."

"Thank you." Phichit sat down and watched Yuri draw. Yuri isn't as bothered when Phichit watches him do things. "So how was your day?"

"Aside from being worried about you, it was okay." Yuri nodded. "What did you do today?"

"I watched cartoons, talked to Victor, and drew things." Phichit nodded. "I turned off the television to focus on drawing. You can turn it back on, though."

"I'd love to but I should really get going." Yuri nodded. "I'll text you when I get there." Yuri nodded. "Feel better, canard."

"I'll try, mon chou."

* * *

Ryuugazaki: [sweats anxiously]

PSA to everyone taking medicine in pill form: Do not take your medicine dry. Always have something to drink when you take your pills.


	15. Chapter 15

Ryuugazaki: Hoo boy this fic is going to be longer than I originally anticipated. If you decide to stick out this ride with me for however long this thing is going to be, I thank you greatly and from the bottom of my cold, dead, mechanical heart! If not, I don't blame you. I really don't blame you.

EDIT: Beka picked the music for Yurio's exhibition skate and now I'm shook. And I also have tonsillitis. But I'm mostly shook.

And yes. I mean "shook."

* * *

Chapter Fifteen  
 **(Friday, 25 September 2015 – 5:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

 _ **Victor: We're still on for the museum today, right?**_  
 _ **: Sure.**_  
 _ **Victor: Are you sure you're still up for it? You being sick and all…**_  
 _ **: I'll be fine. I'm sure.**_  
 _ **: Also, go to bed.**_  
 _ **Victor: Same to you ((sparkling heart emoji))**_

#

 **(Friday, 25 September 2015 – 1:23pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri waited outside the deli for Victor. He was feeling much better compared to the past few days. Although he was still agonizingly drowsy, he was still able to keep his head up and his eyes open. Phichit picked out his clothes again this week. This week he was wearing black dress pants, a pair of Converse, and this shirt that was black and gold in the torso and white in the collar and sleeves. Phichit, like Yuri, is extra in a very unique way.

"Yuri!" Victor approached Yuri from the left. Victor was wearing a pair of jeans, Air Force Ones, a navy blue hoodie, and a sky blue Lacoste polo.

"You're not late this time." Victor deadpanned. "You are, in fact, right on time."

"And you're actually awake." Yuri nodded.

"Are we going to the same museum today?" Victor nodded. "We're going to look at different exhibits today, right?" Victor nodded again.

"I should've told you this last week, but there's different collections." Victor took out his phone and went to the museum's website. Then he gave his phone to Yuri. "See? So if there's a collection you want to see–"

"The African art one looks interesting."

"Just the African art one? It's part of a bigger collection."

"We can see the other ones in the collection next week." Yuri didn't try to fix his sentence or offer an explanation. After all, this is the second outing he's had with Victor. Why wouldn't he expect subsequent ones? Victor smiled.

"You're right. Let's go!" Yuri and Victor walked side by side to the museum and made uncomfortably one-sided conversation along the way.

#

 **(Friday, 25 September 2015 – 3:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Their museum excursion was over and they were in the café. Victor had a large coffee and Yuri had gotten a strawberries and crème frappuccino. Neither of them were saying much; however, Yuri seemed to be the more pensive one.

"Are you okay?" Victor asked.

"Are you?"

"I'm fine. You are the wound up one." Yuri covered his face with his hands and took deep breaths. "Are you okay?"

"I need to be excused." Yuri reached into his bag, took out his pill case, and went into the bathroom. His pill case was in the shape of a macaron and Phichit had gotten it for him at an open air market. Yuri made it to the bathroom in one piece and hid in a stall. His breathing was ragged and he was shaking. "Come on. Not today, not today," he told himself. His hands shook even more terribly as he tried to take the half bar out of his pill case. He took it and forced it down and sat there for a few minutes. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: Are you okay in there?**_  
 _ **: I'm fine.**_  
 _ **Victor: Then come out.**_

Yuri gathered the strength to leave his stall, but not after a bout of quasi-positive self-talk.

"There you are!" Victor exclaimed. "I was getting worried." Yuri sat down in front of his frappuccino and took a sip. "I just realized that I didn't ask you what your favorite part of the museum was today."

"I really liked the Owo bracelet," Yuri muttered. "What was your favorite?"

"I think I really like the Kongo funerary statue." Victor took a sip of coffee. "It's either that or the Asante soul-washer badge thing." Yuri nodded. "I won't get points deducted for writing more than she wants, would I?"

"I don't think so," Yuri muttered. "If it turns out that she does deduct for going over, you can just write about the other one next week." Victor nodded. Then Victor's phone buzzed. "Is that Christophe?"

"It is, but why not just call him 'Chris'?"

"I don't know him well enough to call him Chris." Victor chuckled. "I'm being serious."

"I'm sure you are." Victor looked down at his coffee. "So why the African collection?" Yuri looked down at his hands.

"There's this group of girls that I know and they're all Afro-Caribbean. They like to tell me about the West African countries they're from when they're not partying with me. They're really lovely."

"You party?"

"Only when my roommate is in the mood to." Victor chuckled. "He's small and sweet but he's also a party animal. Like, a voracious one."

"And it hasn't rubbed off on you?"

"No, surprisingly." Yuri took a sip of his frappuccino and kept his gaze downward. Then he yawned.

"Are you tired?"

"No. Just weary."

"There's a difference?"

"A huge one," Yuri said. "'Weary' would denote a mental or existential tiredness while 'tired' would denote a physical one. Or a mental or existential one to a lesser degree." Yuri took another sip of his frappuccino. "Aren't you the English major here?" Victor laughed.

"I am the English major here." Victor took a sip of coffee. Then he poked Yuri's forehead. Yuri looked at how Victor's finger was there and how it lingered and savored the sensation. "You look like you're in thought."

"I think I am." And Yuri was. And then his phone buzzed. "Sorry." Victor removed his finger from Yuri's forehead to allow him to take out his phone.

 _ **Ciao Ciao: T**_ _ **exting u to make sure ur okay.**_  
 _ **: I'm fine. Thank you.**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: Got Grand Prix event lineups.**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: Ur skating in the Rostelecom Cup and Trophée Éric Bompard.**_  
 _ **: Really? I was hoping to get… I don't know, the Cup of China? NHK Trophy? I don't know.**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: Call me.**_  
 _ **: I can't. I'm out with someone.**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: Call me still.**_

"It was my coach." Victor nodded. "He wanted to tell me that the event lineups were released." Victor took out his phone and took out two notes. Victor slid the notes to Yuri as he was scrolling. "What events did you get?"

"Skate Canada and NHK Trophy."

"Are you happy with the lineup?"

"I'd prefer the Rostelecom Cup and Trophée Éric Bompard, but it's okay."

"You'll do great no matter where you're placed," Yuri said wistfully.

"Did your coach say anything else?"

"He wants me to call him later." Victor nodded. "What did Christophe get?"

"Rostelecom Cup and Skate Canada." If Yuri hadn't taken his medicine earlier, he would have felt particularly anxious; however, in this moment, he didn't feel too much of anything. Maybe later the anxiety will kick in and Yuri will have a complete meltdown about actually going to the Grand Prix and encountering one of Victor's close friends. But right now he was nursing a strawberries and crème frappuccino with Victor Nikiforov right in front of him.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Phew, this chapter was six pages of anxiety and I honestly relate to Yuri right now. But I always relate to Yuri. Whatever.


	16. Chapter 16

Ryuugazaki: This chapter took me about two days to write. I think I like how it turned out.

Also, I'm going to be very honest with you, I had to rewrite everything after this chapter because I wasn't liking how it turned out. And, because I didn't like how it was turning out, the fic might be longer than intended. That's either a good or bad thing.

And, artistofthemind, I was afraid that it would be kinda unclear so I was anticipating explaining it but I didn't know whether I should do it now or later. But anyway, Victor doesn't know that Yuri is competing professionally. I'm gonna do something with that so don't you worry :*)

* * *

Chapter Sixteen

To: lheiner24, ghorn45, mstafford3, mimirabella9, yfaucheux1

Subject: Sports Absences

Body: Dear Sirs and Madams,

I am emailing you all to make you aware that I will be unable to attend classes for the months of November and December because I will be participating in the Rostelecom Cup and the Trophée Éric Bompard. I am requesting that you send me any classwork and homework assignments that you will be assigning to the class.

Should you have any questions about my participation in these events, I suggest that you contact my coach, Celestino Cialdini, at (518) 555-0182 and at ciaocialdini.

Best,

Yuri Katsuki

#

To: lheiner24, cmarolda13, mstosh34, mlee98, strotman4

Subject: Events

Body: Hello all!

I am going to be participating in Skate Canada and the NHK Trophy (and, eventually, the Grand Prix) in the October to December. This email is to serve as a notification of my absence from class during that duration of time and as a request for any and all classwork you will be assigning.

Regards,

Victor Nikiforov

* * *

 **(Friday, 25 September 2015 – 11:37pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"I can't believe it! You're going to the Grand Prix!" Phichit exclaimed as he struggled to open a bottle of apple cider. "This is so exciting! I'm so excited!" Yuri took the bottle from Phichit and opened it. "Thank you," he quickly said as Yuri passed the bottle back to him. "Be excited with me!"

"I am excited. Just give me a bit." Yuri took a few breaths. "Also, it's not set in stone that I'm going to the Grand Prix. I've just been selected for two events that, if I do well, will _take_ me to the Grand Prix."

"So you're going to the Grand Prix." Phichit grinned. Yuri rinsed out two glasses for them. "Yuri, ma poupée, you are going to do great and you're going to get a medal. I can't tell you that it'll be a gold medal, but it's going to be a medal."

"Yeah, it won't be a gold. Victor is going to be getting that." Phichit smiled. Yuri put ice in the glasses and gave them to Phichit. Phichit poured apple cider for them and they drank. "But thank you for believing in me."

"I'm here to believe in you when you don't believe in yourself." Yuri smiled at his number one cheerleader. "Oh! We should tell your family!" Phichit nearly dropped his beverage. "Get your laptop! Let's call your parents!"

"Let me tell Mari to gather Mom and Dad." Phichit nodded and dashed into the living room to make the place look presentable for Yuri's parents.

 _ **: Mari, go get Mom and Dad.**_  
 _ **Mari: Hm?**_  
 _ **: I have news for them.**_  
 _ **Mari: Do you have a lover?**_  
 _ **: No, I have real news.**_  
 _ **Mari: You're acting like you getting a lover isn't real news.**_  
 _ **: Just get Mom and Dad!**_  
 _ **: Please!**_  
 _ **: I have an important announcement and I need to tell all of you about it!**_  
 _ **Mari: Chill, Yuri. I'll get them.**_  
 _ **: Thank you.**_

Yuri got his laptop out of his room and brought it into the living room. He logged on and saw his favorite picture of Vicchan. Phichit finished straightening up and sat next to Yuri. "Did you text Mari?" Yuri nodded. "Is she getting your parents?" Yuri nodded. Yuri sat down and took sips of his cider.

Mari: Okay. Gathered them. Call.

Yuri called Mari's Skype and Phichit was grinning. Yuri's parents and Mari were sitting in front of them. "Hello Yuri!" Yuri's mother exclaimed. "How have you been?"

"I've been okay, Mom."

"Mari tells us that you have furiously important news to tell us." Yuri's father said. Phichit smiled and waved. "Hello."

"Oh, Phichit, do you need me to translate?" Phichit shook his head. "Okay then. I'll just explain later."

"You don't have to. I know a bit of Japanese, remember?" Yuri smiled. Phichit is a very ardent fan of anime and he even taught himself Japanese to better understand the subtitled animes. His interests also include K-Pop, Korean dramas, and Ariana Grande.

"Right. Anyway, Mom, Dad, I have news!" Yuri's mother motioned for him to continue.

"Yuri's going to the Grand Prix!" Phichit shouted. Yuri's parents and Mari cheered.

"Wait no! Not quite!" Yuri's breaths became labored. After the cheering died down, he was able to breathe right again. "Not… not quite. I'm in the preliminary events to go to the Grand Prix." Yuri took a sip of his cider. "So, if everything goes well, I will be going to the Grand Prix." Yuri smiled.

"We are so proud of you, Yuri!" Yuri's mother said. Mari looked at her father. He was as stoic as ever. "Aren't we proud, Toshiya?"

"We are always proud of you, Yuri," Yuri's father said with a straight face. But then he smiled. "Aren't we proud of your brother, Mari?"

"You two are so proud of Yuri that you named the katsudon bowl after him." Yuri turned red and Phichit laughed. "Oh, that is never going to get old!"

"Ah, we have to tell Minako as soon as possible!" Yuri's mother said. "And, Mari, be sure to tell Yuko and Takeshi. Oh, they're going to be so excited!" Mari nodded and took out her phone. "We're so happy." Yuri's mother wiped her eyes. "Otherwise, how have you been, my son?" Yuri and his mother made light conversation back and forth until Mari cut them off to tell them what Yuko said. Yuko's overjoyed. And so are her children. Yuri had forgotten that she already had children. Phichit kindly ended the Skype call between them and the Katsuki family.

"Yuri," Phichit said. "Yuri, snap out of it." Yuri broke out in laugher and slid onto the floor. "Oh no, he broke."

"I forgot Yuko had children," Yuri said in between fits of laughter. "How terrible of a friend am I to forget such a big fact?" Yuri laid sprawled out on the floor.

"Are you okay, buddy?" Yuri chuckled. "Is that a yes?" Yuri made a quasi-nodding gesture. "Good."

"How much of my parents did you understand?"

"Enough to get the gist of the conversation." Phichit smiled and drank the rest of his beverage. "They named a dish after you." Yuri made a pterodactyl screech. "Okay, calm down now, poupée." Phichit was cackling.

"My parents are so proud of me they've named a dish after me," Yuri said, absentmindedly. "That's going to be really embarrassing when I go back to Hasetsu." Yuri rolled on his side.

"Have you told Victor the news?" Yuri sat up. "Does Victor know?" Yuri shook his head. "You haven't told him?"

"All he knows is that I figure skate and that I 'practice like an Olympian.'" Phichit got on the floor with Yuri. "I don't really know if I should tell him. I mean, I'm going to compete against him. That is, I will be if I go to the Grand Prix."

"Why do you have to keep saying 'if'?! You're going to go! I believe in you!"

"Of course my cheerleader is going to say that." Yuri chuckled and moved over to Yuri can lay next to him. "I'm going to miss you next month."

"Your events aren't until November."

"But I'll be practicing a lot harder and a lot longer and I won't be able to see you as much."

"We _live_ together."

"Can't I be touching for once?" Yuri chuckled. "So what do you think I should do?" Yuri asked. "About telling Victor."

"I honestly don't know, canard." Phichit yawned. "But I can say that if he doesn't know anything right now, he probably won't put all the pieces together until the Grand Prix."

"Until?" Yuri asked. Phichit nodded. "Why until?"

"Think about it: He's going to be so focused on practicing his routine that he won't be thinking about much else. Once he gets to the Grand Prix, everything he's been putting on the back stove eye will come to light."

"That was really astute, Phichit."

"Thanks! I took a psychology class." Phichit chuckled. "Oh! How was your museum outing today?" Phichit yawned.

"I had a panic attack in the bathroom and I needed a Xanax." Phichit nodded.

"Did you take your Xanax?" Yuri nodded. "And what happened after that?"

"I left the bathroom and Victor asked why I wanted to see the African collection at the museum. Then Ciao Ciao texted me about the lineup."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"I would've preferred different events, but it's okay. I might encounter Christophe Giacometti at the Rostelecom Cup and that kind of makes me anxious but I can't feel anything aside from apathy because of the Xanax." Phichit nodded and finished Yuri's cider. Then they just laid there.

#

 **(Saturday, 26 September 2015 – 1:54am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Except that they _didn't_ just lay there. Phichit was in a partying mood and Yuri was a legal adult and they both wanted to get trashed. So Phichit convinced his friend to get dressed and come with him to the liquor store. They got vodka and rum and made their way back to their apartment.

"Do you want to call anyone over?" Phichit asked.

"Everyone I want over is already here," Yuri said, dotingly. Phichit giggled. "Also, who is trying to drink with two figure skating otakus at nearly two in the morning? No one."

"Masabeeh and Tal'at, maybe?" Phichit suggested.

"They're Muslim. They don't drink."

"Camille?"

"Is out of town, visiting their brother."

"Khoudia?" Yuri stopped to think. Phichit took a shot of vodka. "Is Khoudia also Muslim?" Khoudia is a friend of Phichit's and Yuri's and she's a music major.

"I think so. Also, isn't Senegal a dry country?"

"Ketty?" Phichit suggested. Ketevan is also a music major.

"Not Ketevan." Yuri took a shot. "I adore Ketty very much but she makes me feel unsettled." Phichit took another shot. "But, then again, a lot of people make me feel unsettled." Yuri took two shots.

"Does your celebrity crush make you feel unsettled?" Phichit wildly giggled.

"Of course."

"Do I?" Phichit casually asked.

"Not anymore." Phichit took a shot. "At first you did, but now you don't. And I'm glad." Phichit smiled and took another shot. Yuri moved to take another shot but then he stopped. "What happened?"

"I just realized that I'm not supposed to drink on my medicines." Phichit deadpanned. "Whoops. Too late to stop now." Phichit took a shot. "What's that phrase that Khoudia says often? 'Go hard or go home'?"

"Yeah. Go hard or go home."

"Well, go hard or go home." Yuri took the shot he was nursing. The drinking continued until Yuri and Phichit started to make embarrassments of themselves and each other. The two friends sang Girls' Generation and Ariana Grande songs and took breaks to talk about food and watch Sailor Moon.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I just want to tell all of you that that number doesn't work… I don't think. It's made up. Please do not call it.

And yes, Phichit is a Sailor Moon fan. He likes Sailor Moon (and shojos, in general) and is in the Beyhive.


	17. Chapter 17

Ryuugazaki: This is my third time writing a chapter seventeen for this and this time a huge fiasco had to accompany it (me writing it, that is) and I'm tired.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen  
 **(Tuesday, 28 September 2015 – 1:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was seeing his therapist today. He's been feeling anxious since the event lineups were released. Luzia doesn't follow figure skating at all so this would be news to her. "Yuri?" Today Luzia came out wearing an orange maxi skirt and a yellow tank top. "She's going to be very attractive to bees," Yuri thought.

"How was your weekend?" Yuri followed her to her office.

"It was okay. I'm kind of confused by it, though."

"And why is that?"

"Before I tell you, I have an announcement: The lineups for the Grand Prix preliminaries have been released." Luzia slowly nodded. "I got my events."

"Yuri, that's great!" She beamed.

"It is! Except that it won't be if I go to the Grand Prix." Yuri didn't wait for Luzia to say anything. "There's no doubt that Victor will be going to the Grand Prix this year. And that's going to be a problem if I go this year."

"Do you know for certain that you'll be going?" Yuri shook his head. "Then you can't really say if it's going to be a problem, right?" Yuri nodded.

"This leads into why I'm kind of confused. Should I tell Victor that I'm competing this year?"

"What's the other part of your confusion?"

"Victor held my hand and I don't understand how I feel." Luzia nodded. "Which topic do you want to tackle first?"

"I don't know. Whichever one you're more comfortable with."

"Um, I guess my lack of understanding on how I feel about Victor holding my hand." Luzia nodded. "We talked about my touch boundaries last week. Then he let me sleep on him."

"Was this right after you discussed boundaries?" Yuri nodded. "Continue."

"I don't really know how I feel about Victor." Luzia nodded but remained silent. "Doc?"

"Yes?"

"I'd appreciate some insight."

"Well, Yuri, in life you can't be 100% certain of anything. So your feelings of uncertainty are normal." Yuri nodded. "I suggest that you try to not over analyze it. You'll figure it out soon enough." Yuri nodded. "Now, in regards to telling Victor about competing, let's make a pro and cons chart." Yuri did as Luzia suggested and he didn't reach a definitive answer; however, he did have a lot more things on the "pros" section than the "cons" section. Does the abundance of items in the "pros" section mean that he should tell him? Yuri didn't know. Luzia said that Yuri could keep the chart if he needed to.

Session went on until it was over. Yuri was able to talk about a few more things and even showed Luzia more pictures of Vicchan.

#

 **(Tuesday, 28 September 2015 – 6:23pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri's making spaghetti for dinner tonight. He was thinking about what happened in session today; mainly about telling Victor. He had the pro and cons list in the small pouch in his bag, where it will probably never see the light of day until Yuri gets ready to clean out his bag. Phichit was on his way home when Victor texted him.

 _ **Victor: Did you have an appointment today?**_  
 _ **: Yeah.**_  
 _ **Victor: How was it?**_  
 _ **: It was an appointment.**_  
 _ **: Can't talk right now. I'm making dinner.**_

Phichit was home soon after that. "Poupée," Phichit said as he gave Yuri a hug. He left the kitchen to put down his things and came back. "How was your day?" Yuri shrugged. "Did you see Luzia today?" Yuri nodded. "And how is she?"

"She's fine." Phichit nodded. "How was your day?" And Phichit started talking about his day, his professors, and the people he talked to. He was so enthusiastic about everything that happened today, Yuri almost wished he could share that same enthusiasm. Almost.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Chapter 18 should be coming out later today. I just have to rework the ending of it a bit.


	18. Chapter 18

Ryuugazaki: I wrote this while listening to Broken on repeat and I hope that it doesn't show.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen  
 **(Wednesday, 29 September 2015 – 8:07am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was drawing Vicchan to pass the time between his arrival to class and his professor's arrival. "Ah, Yuri!" Victor said as he came into the room. There were only three other people in there – excluding Victor and Yuri, that is. "How are you?" Yuri shrugged. "What are you drawing today?"

"I'm drawing my dog." Victor nodded. "You still have a dog, right?" Victor nodded again. "To be honest, I am not very good at drawing animals."

"What do you usually draw?"

"I draw what my heart feels like drawing."

"And what does your heart feel like drawing?"

"Today? My dog. Tomorrow? Who knows." Yuri started working on Vicchan's ears.

"You know what you should draw next?" Yuri blanked out and internally rolled his eyes when he heard that. Victor told him what he should draw next and Yuri didn't hear any of it. "Did you hear me?"

"Yeah. I'll get to it," Yuri said as he erased something. Victor grinned. "Didn't I say that I don't like being watched when I draw?"

"I don't know. Did you?" Yuri stopped drawing and looked at Victor. "You did, you did," Victor said as he patted Yuri's shoulder.

"And you're going to continue watching me draw, aren't you?"

"What can I say? I'm a hoe for art." Yuri chuckled. He was still anxious about being watched by his celebrity crush/childhood idol, though. Victor left his hand on Yuri's shoulder.

"Could you kindly not?" Victor withdrew his hand from Yuri's shoulder, but he moved his desk closer. Two of the students in the room looked over at them. Yuri's face started to turn a salmon pink color.

"Are you okay?" Yuri nodded. He started to focus on his sketch of Vicchan again. While Victor was focused on Yuri and while Yuri was focusing on his drawing, the classroom was filling up with their peers.

"Hello, class!" Professor Heiner came in. It's 8:35am now. Yuri stopped drawing and took out his assignment. Yuri could only assume that, by the motions Victor made, he remembered to grab his assignment this morning. Then Victor reached into his bag again and slid a note across Yuri's desk. Yuri looked at the note and pocketed it for later despite the fact that he can't even read it.

#

 **(Wednesday, 29 September 2015 – 11:15am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Professor Heiner let the class out early today so Victor followed Yuri to the library. Yuri usually goes to the library because he values the silence. Silence he doesn't think he's going to get anymore. Victor sat next to Yuri and paid partial attention to his book. "How's your math class going?" Yuri shrugged. "Oh."

"How are your other classes?" Yuri asked. Victor launched into a spiel about his classes. He seems like he's enjoying them. And Yuri absentmindedly pointed that out.

"You don't talk about yourself too much."

"I know."

"I'm really interested in getting to know the person you are underneath all of the silence." Yuri was working on his drawing of Vicchan, still. "I bet that person is a real riot." Yuri shrugged. "Yes? No?" Victor leaned on Yuri. Yuri stopped drawing. "Am I disturbing you?"

"No, no," Yuri said. "You're fine."

"Do you have to go now?" Victor asked, clutching Yuri's arm. Victor is being quite affectionate today. Yuri shook his head. "Good. I'd like to be with you for a little bit longer." Yuri put his things away and leaned on Victor a bit. Victor reached for Yuri's hand.

"Victor," Yuri muttered; Victor murmured in response. "Why are we like this?" Yuri and Victor were hand in hand, wrist to wrist.

"What do you mean?"

"Why… I don't know. I should go. To class. I have class, I mean." Victor nodded. "You can walk me to class if you want."

"I will if you come back for me. Will you come back?" Yuri nodded. "Good. I will await your return." Victor and Yuri walked hand in hand to Yuri's math class. "I'll see you later," Victor said as he let go of Yuri's hand.

#

 **(Wednesday, 29 September 2015 – 7:35pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri's skating was interrupted by the shadows again; this time, however, he had a panic attack following it. Victor dropped him off at the rink today. Yuri had suggested that Victor go and practice, but Victor insisted that he wasn't in the mood to practice. Victor had told Yuri to text him when he was over with practice.

Yuri had forgotten to do that, but he's home now.

 _ **Victor: How was practice?**_  
 _ **: Painfully short.**_

"Hey, lapin!" Yuri said as he walked into the kitchen. He hugged his roommate tight. "What are you making tonight?" Phichit didn't take his eyes off the stove.

"Green sweet curry and roti." Yuri nodded. "I called my mom today to ask how she makes it because it doesn't come out right when I make it." Yuri nodded again. "I'm going to get it right this time. It's going to be great."

"It's usually great when you make it, though."

"You're just saying that," Phichit said. "It's going to be exactly how my mom makes it." He seemed excited to be attempting her green sweet curry tonight.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Not gonna lie, this chapter is lacking in some way but I don't know how to fix it.


	19. Chapter 19

Ryuugazaki: I just saw some chibi soulmates AU fan art and my heart can't take it. Someone get an EMT.

* * *

Chapter Nineteen  
 **(Thursday, 30 September 2015 – 9:23am, Detroit, Michigan)**

The panic attack Yuri had last night wreaked its havoc and left Yuri a shaking wreck in the morning. Phichit sympathized with Yuri, gave him a peck on the forehead, and left him a note saying that he's going to class. Yuri was awake, sentient, and drawing like mad. Today he wanted to draw flowers. So what did Yuri do? He went and bought irises and peonies.

 _ **Victor: Are you in class rn?**_  
 _ **: No.**_

Yuri arranged the flowers in this kitschy, 99¢ store vase and thought of things he could tell Phichit about them when he gets home. He came up with excuse after excuse and none of them sounded remotely right so he just guessed that he would explain the thought process behind him buying the flowers and hoped that Phichit would understand.

 _ **Victor: What are you doing then?**_  
 _ **: Drawing flowers.**_  
 _ **Victor: Mm, sounds fun. Wish I could observe.**_  
 _ **: …observe me drawing flowers?**_  
 _ **: I hate to break it to you but this – drawing – is not entertaining in the slightest.**_  
 _ **Victor: Don't care. I'd be with you and that makes it all the worthwhile.**_

Yuri put his phone down and ignored what Victor said. He was trying to get the petals right on the irises. "Why did I pick irises?" Yuri muttered. "I could've picked something simpler. Something like a sunflower… Yeah… Sunflowers. Or lilies." Yuri paused. "Or would lilies be harder to draw?" Yuri picked up his phone and wrote down an idea. "Will have to draw lilies later to see if it's easier to draw."

 _ **Victor: How's your drawing coming along?**_  
 _ **: I want to say terribly, but I don't know. You judge for yourself.**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_

Yuri sent a picture of the flowers in the vase and the sketch of the flowers – with and without petals – and the unadorned vase. The vase itself is blue and white with gold trim around the mouth. The berry blue on the vase was in a damask pattern.

 _ **Victor: It looks lovely!**_  
 _ **: I haven't even really**_ gotten _ **started, though…**_  
 _ **Victor: Well, it looks lovely and it's going to be lovely.**_  
 _ **: And you know this… how?**_  
 _ **Victor: Because you're doing it.**_

Yuri finished the flowers eventually. He half-assed them, but they were finished. And he felt surprisingly good about the flowers despite the fact that he half-assed them.

But the flowers killed any motivation he had for drawing.

 _ **Victor: Do you plan to draw anything else today?**_  
 _ **: No. The flowers ruined me.**_  
 _ **Victor: Poor солнышко ((sparkling heart emoji))**_

By now, Yuri was rubbing the flowers on his face and stroking the individual flower petals. Yuri finds rubbing soft things on his face a pleasurable sensory experience. Yuri would even rub the hamsters on his face, but Phichit probably wouldn't like that very much.

 _ **: Did you go to class today?**_  
 _ **Victor: I did.**_  
 _ **: How was it?**_  
 _ **Victor: I'll call you.**_

Victor called when Yuri was just getting up to look at the hamsters go about their day. Yuri put Victor on the speaker. "Hello?"

"Солнышко!" Victor was beaming. "How are you?"

"Tired. Aren't you going to tell me about your day?" Yuri said as he sat in front of the hamsters. So Yuri listened to Victor talk about his day. He talked about the lesson and the greater significance the thing he was talking about and it all sounded like a great, big blur to Yuri.

"Yuri! Are you listening?"

"Yeah, go on."

"I finished."

"Oh." Yuri laid on the floor.

"I asked you what you were doing right now."

"I'm looking at my roommate's hamsters." Yuri yawned. "They're very cute."

"Do you like rodents that can be kept as pets?" Yuri shrugged. "Hm?" Yuri remembered that this is a phone call.

"Oh no. I'm not very keen on rodents." Victor made a sound. "Hamsters are so cute, though. I can see why my roommate loves them." Victor made another sound. "Do you like hamsters?"

"They're okay, I suppose," Victor said. "I really like dogs." Yuri chuckled. "Don't you agree?! Dogs are great!"

"Cats are pretty great, too," Yuri muttered.

"Ah, you sound like my котёнок. He loves cats." Yuri nodded. Victor continued talking and talking and Yuri was zoning in and out. Then he stopped. "I should let you go now. I've had you on the phone for far too long."

"It's fine."

"No, no, I'll let you get back to watching hamsters," Victor said, tongue-in-cheek. "It seems like you're having fun doing that. I'll text you."

"Okay." There was a silence. "Victor," Yuri said.

"Голубушка," Victor said.

"Do you want me to hang up?"

"No, no, I'll hang up," Victor spoke his parting words and hung up. Yuri continued to watch Phichit's hamsters go about their lives.

 _ **: Do you want me to make dinner tonight?**_  
 _ **Phichit: That would be lovely, mon poupée**_

So Yuri's making dinner tonight. He was thinking oden.

#

 **(Thursday, 30 September 2015 – 3:43pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri needed a bar before he started dinner. He had no clue where the sudden wave of anxiety came from, but he was grateful for the existence of Xanax.

 _ **Victor:** **Wyd**_  
 _ **: Making dinner. And yourself?**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm picking out my clothes for tomorrow.**_

Victor sent a photo of himself, looking at a closet. The walls of his room were white and the lights were bright. Yuri remembered that they're going to the museum tomorrow. "I should probably start picking out my own clothes," Yuri mused.

 _ **Victor: What are you making?**_  
 _ **: Oden.**_  
 _ **Victor: Oh okay.**_  
 _ **Victor: Is oden good? How's it coming along?**_  
 _ **: Pretty good.**_  
 _ **: Is my response to both of your questions.**_

Yuri went into his room and started digging about for things he could wear. So far, he found a pair of jeans he had forgotten about and this black Atari logo shirt he had bought before he left Japan. "I can iron this and wear it tomorrow," Yuri thought. "Yeah, I'll do that. Now all I need is a jacket." Yuri kept searching his room for a jacket that would go well with his clothes. He found his hoodie with The Great Wave off Kanagawa on it. "God, I am such a nerd," he thought. "I'm still wearing it, though. Fuck everyone." Yuri placed the hoodie with his shirt and went into the bottom cabinets to find the iron. He found it and ironed his clothes as the oden simmered.

 _ **Victor: How's the oden coming along now?**_  
 _ **: It's simmering. I'm ironing right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: You don't dry clean your clothes?**_  
 _ **: I prefer having my clothes ironed.**_

It was 4:50pm now and Yuri was ironing his jeans. "How did Mom do this?" Yuri mused. His mother had a specific way of ironing pants and he couldn't remember how she would do it. His shirt and sweater were fine, though. They were starched and ironed and neatly folded. "Does Phichit have any clothes that need to be ironed?" Yuri mused. "I'll text him."

 _ **: Do you have anything you want me to iron?**_  
 _ **Phichit: No, poupée. Thank you, though.**_  
 _ **: Okay.**_  
 _ **Phichit: How's dinner coming?**_  
 _ **: Pretty good. Gotta get back to ironing. Love you.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Love you too.**_

Yuri slowly ironed his pants legs, hoping that he would remember how his mom would do it. By the time he got to his pockets, he remembered and picked up the pace. "It wouldn't hurt me to clean up a bit, either," Yuri thought. "I'll do it later."

#

 **(Thursday, 30 September 2015 – 8:46pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Ciao Ciao is getting worried about you," Phichit said before he took some oden. "You've been missing practice because of your anxiety and he's getting worried." Yuri nodded. "He told me to tell you that you need to speak to Luzia about this." Yuri nodded again. "This is getting out of control."

"I know, I know."

"He doesn't know how you'll manage when you get to the Grand Prix."

"That's _if_ I get there."

"Yuri, cut it out. You're going to go there and you're going to do great." Phichit started to eat. "I believe in you. We _all_ believe in you." Yuri started to pick at his food. "You need to learn how to believe in yourself," Phichit said with a full mouth.

"I suppose I should." Phichit deadpanned. "Did I upset you?"

"No, I'm just bewildered." Phichit scratched his hand. "How could someone so great and multi-talented be lacking in self-esteem and riddled with anxiety? I don't understand." Yuri shrugged and continued eating. "Well, what else did you do today?"

"I drew." Phichit nodded. "And I talked to Victor."

"And how did the conversation go?"

"I was out of it for most of it. He was talking about his day and all that." Phichit nodded. "I was looking at your hamsters." Phichit nodded again. "I picked out my own clothes for tomorrow." Yuri grinned. "Are you proud?"

"Always and forever, mon chou," Phichit said as they ate their dinner in harmonious warmth.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: "Котёнок" – phonetically written as kotyonok; pronounced like katyonak – is literally "kitten" in Russian. Victor literally called our Russian Ice Fairy a kitten.


	20. Chapter 20

Ryuugazaki: I listen to "Carabosse" and "Coloring Book" and eat animal crackers while I write fanfiction and this is what my life has become.

* * *

Chapter Twenty  
 **(Friday, 1 October 2015 – 1:30pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Victor was in front of the deli at 1:30pm sharp. Yuri was reading Tropic of Capricorn to kill time. "Yuri?" Victor stood in front of him. "Yuri!" Victor was snapping his fingers.

"Oh, hello," Yuri said. "I was reading."

"I can tell." Victor smiled. "So, Henry Miller?" Yuri nodded. "What prompted you to pick that?"

"I had the book. An acquaintance had gifted me the book and I never got the chance to read it." Victor nodded. "Today I had thought that you might be late so I brought something that could occupy me." Victor nodded again.

"And are you occupied?"

"Very much so." Yuri put his bookmark between the pages. "But I think that's mainly because you're here and not because of the book, at the moment." He put the book in his bag and smiled at Victor. "And how are you on this lovely day in September?"

"October."

"Pardon?"

"It's October." Yuri nodded. "And I'm fine. Very fine. You?" Yuri paused and then nodded. "Is that good?" Yuri nodded again. "Great! Let us go!" Victor held out his hand for Yuri and Yuri took it. "Did your roommate pick out your clothes today?" Victor asked, tongue-in-cheek.

"I actually picked out my clothes," Yuri matter-of-factly said. Victor chuckled.

#

 **(Friday, 1 October 2015 – 4:20pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"How was the remainder of the Africa, Oceania, and Indigenous art collection?" Victor said as he opened the door to the café. "I kind of felt it was underwhelming, but that's just me."

"The Apache basket was nice." Victor nodded. Yuri had taken a Xanax this morning so his anxiety wouldn't creep up on him when he was trying to absorb art. The café was usually sparsely populated at this time of day. They got in line to order. "You have to admit that it was nice."

"I feel like you have a bias."

"I will have a bias when we get to the Asian arts and culture collection." Yuri smiled.

"Hi, how may I help you two?" They ordered and Victor insisted on paying. The barista joked and told Yuri to "let your boyfriend pay for your beverage." Yuri sharply inhaled. He stopped talking and let Victor pay for his drink. They walked to their usual spot – a window spot – and Yuri was silent.

"Are you okay? Did the barista break you?" Victor was giggling. "If this really bothers you, I won't pay for your drink again." Victor stroked the back of Yuri's hand. "Boyfriend." Yuri broke again. "Ah! Sorry, sorry!" Victor didn't stop stroking the back of Yuri's hand, though. Once Yuri was done with his erratic breathing, he asked how practice was going. "Oh, well practice has been fine. It's a pain, though." Yuri nodded.

"I hope practice could get better for you."

"It will once the season is over." Yuri's interest was piqued. "But, then again, practice never ends for me." Yuri nodded and took a sip of his Frappuccino. "Enough about me, though. How's practice for you?"

"I haven't gone in a while." Victor nodded. "I feel bad."

"I remember when I used to feel bad about not going to practice," Victor said before he took a sip of his chai tea latte. "You still have your love for your sport and that makes me happy. But enough about skating. No one wants to talk about skating." Victor wanted to stop the conversation about skating in its tracks. "How's your roommate? Did he like the dish you made last night?"

"He's fine. He loved the oden." Victor nodded. "So you live alone?"

"Just me and my books. My dog is back home. And that makes me sad." Victor patted his pocket. "Ah, before I forget," Victor said as he pulled out a note and placed it between Yuri's fingers.

"Why do you give me notes?"

"Why not?" Victor shrugged and took a sip of latte. "I'm trying to talk to you in a way that I know how."

"So you give me notes."

"It's not so much the notes, but what they contain. If I could get across what I'm thinking and feeling without notes, I would." Yuri nodded. "But I can't, so I give you notes." Yuri looked at the note between his fingers and put it in his bag. "Do you want to see something?" Yuri nodded. "Don't look!" Yuri complied and waited until Victor was ready. Victor showed Yuri his phone. "This is 'The Mermaids' by Ivan Kramskoi." Victor scrolled right. "And this is a portrait of Ivan Shishkin." Yuri nodded. Then he took out his phone and started scrolling and swiping. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to show you Hiroshige woodblock paintings." Victor nodded. "But, in the meantime, look at my hoodie! It's a print of 'The Great Wave off Kanagawa' by Hokusai. That's a really famous Hokusai woodblock painting." Victor nodded again. "Found it!" Yuri turned his phone towards Victor. "This is 'Snow Scene at Kinryuzan Buddist Temple.'" Victor nodded.

"It's so lovely." Yuri scrolled a bit more and turned his phone back towards Victor.

"And this is 'Daybreak After a Snowfall at Susaki.'"

"And those are by who?"

"Hiroshige." Victor took out his notepad and wrote that down.

"And who made the painting on your hoodie?"

"Hokusai."

"I don't know if I spelled it right." Victor gave his notepad to Yuri. "Here." Victor gave Yuri his pen. "You should probably write it for me." Yuri crossed out what Victor wrote and rewrote "Hiroshige" and "Hokusai."

"Here you go."

"Thank you." Victor smiled. "You said that your sister likes them, right?" Yuri nodded. "What's your sister like?"

"She likes bands and art," Yuri said. "Um… She's not a very good cook… She has blonde highlights… We live together." Victor chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing." Victor patted Yuri's hand. "That was just cute. You're cute." He took a sip of latte. Yuri took a large sip of his Frappuccino. "Boyfriends. I can't get over that." Victor said with a smile. "You know where she got that idea from, right?" Yuri nodded. "It's cute." Victor chuckled and took a sip of his latte.

"What do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know. Probably reading or practicing. Oh, and I can't forget talking to you." Victor smiled. His phone buzzed. "That must be Chris." Victor smiled at his phone. "He wants a picture. Pose, honey."

"What?"

"Pose." Yuri sipped his Frappuccino. "Is that what you're going with?" Yuri nodded. "Okay." Victor chuckled and took the flick. Then he took some more.

"I'm sure you have more than enough pictures of me, Victor."

"I know." He smiled. Victor sent the flick to Christophe and put his phone in his pocket. "You can take pictures of me, you know that right?"

"I know."

"Are you going to?" Yuri picked up his phone and took an offguard of Victor. Victor smiled. "Take another." Yuri took another flick and then two more. "The only thing that can make this better is if we take a selfie together. Oh! The park would be the perfect place for that."

"The park?"

"Yeah! Let's go." Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and pulled at it. "The lighting outside is great and there's this really nice spot that I want to show you." Yuri grabbed his drink and followed Victor out of the café. They walked down the block to the park and Victor led them to a grassy area. They weren't too far off of any paths, but they weren't visible to anyone on a path. It was tranquil, serene. You could even hear the birds. Just the way Victor wants it. "This is the spot." Victor took out his phone and opened the camera out. Victor started angling the phone every which way, trying to find the perfect angles. "Smile with me!" Victor insisted when he started taking flicks. Victor threw his arm around Yuri's shoulders and placed his nose on his cheek and took a flick. There was a gentle breeze and some of Victor's loose hair caressed Yuri's face. Victor's hair smells like coconuts.

"Um," Yuri muttered.

"What?"

"Your face is kind of close to mine."

"Is it making you uncomfortable?" Yuri swallowed air and said no. "One more selfie and then I'll stop." Victor took a flick of their pose and pulled away. Yuri was surprised when Victor did pull away, but at least he would be able to relish in the feeling of Victor's face being near his. "Sit with me." Victor sat in the grass and Yuri sat across from him. Yuri was looking at his hands. "What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, really," Yuri muttered. Victor was playing with blades of grass. Then he stopped and took a book out of his messenger bag. Victor tapped the cover. Yuri moved his face closer to the book.

"I'll read one to you," Victor suggested. "I'm really into Spanish poetry right now."

"You speak Spanish?" Victor shook his head. Then he put down his book and fixed his hair.

"Maybe one day I'll introduce you to Japanese poetry."

"Like, haikus and stuff?" Yuri nodded. "I've never really been able to get into haikus. I'm sorry."

"You'll like haikus by the time I'm done," Yuri said. Victor smiled. Yuri picked up the book. "Pablo Neruda?" Victor nodded.

"He's Chilean." Yuri gave the book back to Victor. "Do you want me to read you a sonnet of his?"

"That would be nice." Victor smiled and cleared his throat.

"How many times, love, I loved you without seeing you…" Victor continued reading. Yuri's attention was piqued. "Perhaps I saw you, I supposed to pass by raising a drink…" Now he was intrigued. "…that I touched in the darkness and sounded like the uncontrolled sea…" He felt something tug at his heart, gently but ever present. "I loved you without my knowing it, and I searched for your memory." Victor grabbed Yuri's wrist and said: "Suddenly while you were with me I touched you and stopped my life: in front of my eyes you were, reigning, and queens." Victor smiled. "Did you like it?"

"It was beautiful." Victor closed the book and smiled. "Do you like poetry?"

"I love it. That's why almost every note I've given you has a poem on it." Yuri nodded. "I should get you home. Your roommate might start worrying."

"You're so considerate of Phichit." Victor smiled and got up. Then he pulled Yuri up. They walked hand in hand to Yuri's apartment. "Text me when you get home."

"I will. And send me the pictures." Victor gave Yuri a quick hug. "Пока, солнышко!"

"Yeah, that word," Yuri said and unlocked his door. Phichit was watching a rerun of We Bare Bears. "I'm home," Yuri said as he opened the door.

"I can tell," Phichit said and turned down the television. "How was your date?" Yuri didn't pay Phichit's word usage any mind. He took off his jacket and left his shoes by the door.

"It was fine. I thought the collection was nice; Victor thought it was underwhelming, though." Yuri took a seat next to his best friend. "How was class today, poupée?"

"It's only been a month and I'm already tired of it." Phichit chuckled. "At least I'm not one of those unfortunate souls with Saturday classes." Yuri nodded. Phichit leaned on Yuri and smiled. Yuri didn't move or try to move to change out of his clothes; instead, he sat there watching We Bare Bears with his roommate and tried to determine which character fit a real life person they know.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Victor literally said "bye, sunshine!" to Yuri and I need an amberlamps.

Also, the more I write, the more I get away from the prompt and this is why my college essay was terrible and this is why this fanfic is terrible.


	21. Chapter 21

Ryuugazaki: I'm already thinking of what I can write for the spiritual successor of this. I'm still up in the air about doing it though.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One  
 **(Wednesday, 7 October 2015 – 8:10am, Detroit, Michigan)**

In addition to the anxiety he was feeling, Yuri was hallucinating this morning. He kept hearing laughter and heavy footsteps where there was silence; that large shadow that looms over the rink when he skates sat in the corner of the room. All of the coping skills his therapist and psychiatrist have taught him went out the window. He didn't draw or stim like he usually would at his desk. Instead, he sat there with his head down. His Xanax wasn't helping as well as it usually did. His Lexapro was a lie. The only thing that did its job was the Zyprexa and it did it passably well.

"Yuri." Victor touched Yuri's back. "Are you okay?" Yuri put his head up and nodded. "Are you sure? You look out of it." Yuri nodded again. "Okay, солнышко." Victor slid a note under his palm. "This might not be the best time." Yuri took the note and put it in his sweater pocket. Victor pulled his desk closer to Yuri's. "Do you feel sick?" Yuri hesitated, but made a sound that could be interpreted as a "yes." Yuri didn't know how to explain to this person that he liked that he's hearing voices and that there's a giant shadow in the corner and he's internally trembling and he doesn't know what to do.

"Victor?"

"Yes?"

"You might not understand this, but hold my hand. Please." Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and brought it to his mouth. "Thank you."

It was 8:20am now. Yuri wasn't any better.

"Hey, Yuri. Can you walk?" Yuri murmured a "yes." "Follow me." Victor grabbed his bag and Yuri's, and led Yuri out of their classroom. Victor led Yuri to the back of the library. It was lightly populated right now and Victor was grateful for that. "Lay down." He motioned to the sofa that was in their area. Victor sat and placed their bag by his legs. Yuri laid down on Victor's lap, using his arm as a pillow.

"You should go to class."

"I'm not going to leave you alone." Victor stroked Yuri's head gently. The shadow was sitting in the corner, observing them; the voices were still as loud. Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and squeezed it. "When you feel better, will you tell me what happened?" Yuri nodded. "I don't really understand what's going on, but, if you don't want to nap, is there something you'd like to talk about?"

"Whales." Yuri rubbed his eyes with his fist. "I'd like to talk about whales."

"Alright, tell me about whales." Yuri nodded.

"They make such pretty sounds." Victor nodded. "And they're so big and lovely." Yuri yawned. "I want to touch a whale. We should go to an aquarium."

"I don't think they have whales in aquariums," Victor plainly said.

"I will go home and find a whale just to touch it, Victor." Victor was chuckling. "I want this. I want this a lot."

"I'm sure you do." Victor stroked Yuri's head. Yuri felt Victor's phone buzz. "That's Chris. Hold on." Victor shifted and fished his phone out of his pocket. "Oh, did I tell you that he said I can give you his number?"

"No, you did not." Yuri shifted. "How did you forget something like that?"

"I was looking at art. Give me your phone." Yuri gave Victor his phone and unlocked it. Victor gave Yuri Christophe's number and gave Yuri his phone back. Yuri put his phone in his sweater pocket. Victor grabbed Yuri's hand again. "Do you want to move your arm? It might get numb." Yuri moved his arm from under his head and brought it to his chest. He feels vulnerable right now: he's having an episode with Victor at his side and Victor hasn't left yet. "Yet," Yuri mused. The thought almost depresses him. Victor was mumbling the lyrics to a song as he stroked his head. This was comforting for Yuri.

#

 **(Wednesday, 7 October 2015 – 11:45am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Hey, sleepyhead," Victor said, gently. "Are you better now?" Yuri looked at the corner. The shadow was still there, but it was reduced in size. The laughter and loud footsteps have stopped. Yuri nodded. "It's time for your math class. Do you want to go?" Yuri nodded. "I'll walk you to class." Yuri slowly sat up, rubbed his eyes, and reached for his bag. "Remember to text me if you need me." Victor picked up his bag and got up. He helped Yuri up and they walked hand in hand to Yuri's math class.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: If I write a successor to this, y'all would really hate me for what I would have to do.


	22. Chapter 22

Ryuugazaki: Kuroneko Hikage, I want you to remember your words because I want you to come back to them once I start posting the successor.

And nah, what you said wasn't awkward. I laughed really hard at that.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Two  
 **(Wednesday, 7 October 2015 – 6:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was at the rink, trying to skate away the post-hallucinatory confusion. He wants to practice his short dance and free skate before tomorrow. He hasn't been practicing as much recently and he wants to change that.

 _ **Victor: Don't overwork yourself.**_

Yuri landed a Salchow. He was a nonstop, ecstatic, post-hallucinatory confused mess, but he was ecstatic nonetheless. He was able to transition into a camel spin and then a Biellmann spin. He felt great, on top of the world. Nothing could stop him now. The shadow left him alone after his math class, and he was trying to catch up to everything.

 _ **Victor: I went to practice today.**_  
 _ **Victor: It's underwhelming.**_

Yuri's phone was at the rink side, in his bag, unassuming. Yuri was talking a break when the doors to the rink opened. "Hello?"

"Hey, Yuri!" It was Khoudia Bâ Sène; she's a first generation Senegalese-American. She's short, black, lithe, and she always keeps her hair in braids. She's shy and kind to everyone. Yuri almost wants to kick himself with his skates on for not talking to her sooner. Almost. "Trying to get some practice in?" She sat next to Yuri and started to take off her shoes. Yuri nodded. "How are you feeling about your events? Are you excited?"

"There's a hole of anxiety in my chest and with each passing day it gets harder to breathe."

"Yeah, same, to be honest." Khoudia kicked off her shoes. "At least we'll be at the Rostelecom Cup together. It won't be too bad like that." Yuri shrugged. "How's your other half?" She's referring to Phichit.

"He's fine." She nodded and sweetly smiled.

"Do you want to watch me practice for a bit?" Yuri shrugged. "I'll be sure to blow you away." Khoudia glided to the center of the ice and started her short dance. "How could someone so small put so much ferocity into her performance?" Yuri wondered. Khoudia ended her performance with a Charlotte spiral. Her braids came out of her bun. "How was that?"

"It was amazing," Yuri said and greeted her at the rink entrance. "The ferocity you displayed was amazing."

"Thanks, I hope I can convey that to the judges at the Grand Prix." Khoudia stretched. "If I could just carry my stage presence to the Grand Prix and show that to the judges, I can just blow them all away."

"And if you don't?"

"I will move back to Senegal." Khoudia was firm in her decision. "I am being very serious."

"I can relate. I'm willing to move back to Japan and become a doujinshi scanlator if I ruin this." Khoudia smiled sheepishly.

"What would Phichit do?"

"Without me? Or if he lost the Grand Prix?"

"Both."

"Well, if he lost the Grand Prix, he would probably go back to Thailand and start working on his ice show." Yuri cracked his knuckles. "Without me? I hope he'd continue being the enthusiastic, figure skating onigiri he is." Khoudia giggled. "Don't you want to practice your free dance?" Yuri asked.

"Will you watch?" Yuri nodded. "Thank you." Khoudia started with a lutz. In her performance, she had an I spin and ended with an Ina Bauer which went into a lunge. "How was that?!" Khoudia skated to the edge of the rink.

"It was very extra." Khoudia nodded. "It was excellent." Khoudia grinned. "You're going to do great. I believe in you."

"I believe in you, too!" Khoudia firmly put her hands on Yuri's shoulders. "You should practice. I bet your short dance will be great." Yuri practiced his short dance again. He was able to land the Salchow and transition into a camel spin. Despite Yuri's rough day, his evening is really looking up for him.

#

 **(Wednesday, 7 October 2015 – 8:36pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Hey, poupée!" Phichit said. "How was your practice?"

"It was good. Khoudia came and we practiced together." Phichit nodded. Yuri took off his shoes at the door and hung up his jacket. "She's going to do great at the Grand Prix."

"So you're sure that she's going to the Grand Prix, but you're not?" Phichit chuckled. "Do you want Chinese food?" Yuri looked at Phichit. "I'm sorry, unauthentic Chinese food." Yuri nodded. "The regular?" Yuri nodded again. "I'll make the phone call. Do you want an eggroll?"

"That would be nice."

"You can go shower. It'll take a while for them to come." Yuri nodded and went to the bathroom to shower.

#

 **(Wednesday, 7 October 2015 – 9:09pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri washed the pains and frustrations of the day away, and he was drying his medium length hair. They were watching Rick and Morty. "Oh, oh, how's Victor?" Phichit asked during a commercial. "You haven't really been mentioning him much. Is everything okay? Do I have to feed him to my hamsters?" Yuri fought a smile but cracked.

"He's fine. We're fine. You don't have to feed him to the hamsters." Phichit smiled. "He's very tender." Yuri held his head down; Phichit angled himself to get a look at Yuri's face.

"What happened today?"

"I was hallucinating this morning. He didn't leave me alone." Yuri fixed the towel that was keeping the water from getting in his face. "He's very kind. It's touching, really." Phichit smiled.

"While I am glad that you had someone there to nurse you as you were having an episode, I am getting really worried. If it's not a panic attack and high anxiety, it's a hallucination. It's worrying." Yuri nodded. "I'm going to tell Luzia if you don't disclose this to her."

"Mon canard, that's unnecessary."

"Then tell her."

"I will," Yuri said. He looked at his phone, finally. It was four texts from Victor.

 _ **Victor: Are you home now?**_  
 _ **: Yeah.**_  
 _ **: How was your practice?**_  
 _ **Victor: Underwhelming, but needed.**_

Yuri also had four texts from Christophe.

 _ **Christophe: Ah!** **Hi** ** _,_ cutie!**_  
 _ **Christophe: Victor finally gave me your number!**_  
 _ **Christophe: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Christophe: That's for your contact pic of me ((grinning emoji))**_

The picture in question was of Christophe with the Snapchat dog filter. His tongue was out and his eyes were closed. Phichit was looking over Yuri's shoulder now. "Victor gave me Christophe's number today."

"Giacometti?" Yuri nodded. "Wow, Yuri. You're getting to know former Grand Prix finalists before they even know how to say your name." Phichit grinned. "Ooh, Christophe called you 'cute.' Victor should look out before his boyfriend gets snatched away!" Phichit was cackling.

"Phichit, why are we friends?" Yuri was cackling with him.

"Because you can't get enough of me." Yuri looked at Phichit and grinned. "You know it's true!"

"You have a point. And there will never be anyone quite like you." Yuri fixed his hair towel again. Phichit smiled.

 _ **Christophe:** **wyd** **cutie**_  
 _ **: I'm drying my hair**_  
 _ **Christophe: send pics**_

Yuri took a flick of himself, sitting with a towel on his head. Christophe sent a row of heart emojis and a flick of himself, laying down with his cat. Yuri's towel fell off of his head and he was done with trying to fix it. "Yuri, just let me fix your towel." Yuri gave the towel to Phichit and Phichit sat Yuri between his legs to fix his towel. "Let me know when you want to take it off." Yuri nodded. The towel didn't come loose. There was a ring at their doorbell.

"I'll get it." Yuri got up and answered the door. Phichit peered out from behind Yuri.

"You forgot the money, Yuri." Phichit paid the delivery man and Yuri took the food. They closed the door and sat down to eat dinner.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Phichit and Yuri interacting makes my heart warm and fuzzy.


	23. Chapter 23

Ryuugazaki: I watched Welcome to the Madness in full and I died.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three  
 **(Friday, 9 October 2015 – 1:29pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was waiting for Victor. He was in front of the deli, still reading Tropic of Capricorn. He picked out his clothes again this week. "Yuri." Yuri closed his book when he heard Victor's voice. "How are you feeling?" Victor gently cupped Yuri's chin. "I hope you're better."

"I am. Thank you for watching me." Victor smiled. Yuri put Tropic of Capricorn in his bag. "What are we going to see at the museum today?"

"I want to see the Arts of Asia collection with you," Yuri told Victor.

"And I want to see the Islamic Collection with you," Victor said. "Next week. We can see the Islamic Collection next week." Victor smiled. "Let's go!" Victor and Yuri held hands as they walked to the museum.

#

 **(Friday, 9 October 2015 – 4:18pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri and Victor had ordered their drinks: a chai tea latte and a vanilla bean Frappuccino. "So, what did you think of the Asian art?" Yuri asked.

"The stationery box was so pretty," Victor gushed. "What was on it? Lotus blossoms and scrolls?" Yuri nodded. "And the screen was really nice, too. What were your favorite pieces?"

"My three favorite pieces were the Noh Theatre Robe, Bodhisattva, and the full moon jar."

"The jar?" Yuri nodded.

"It has a subtle beauty that makes it easy to appreciate. It's amazing to think that something that looks so simple was reserved for those with privilege." Victor nodded. "Did you think that today's collection was underwhelming?" Victor shook his head. "Good. Do you like Asian art now?"

"Show me more and I'll make up my mind." Victor chuckled. "Before I forget," Victor said as he reached into his pocket and Yuri anticipated the note. Yuri keeps all of Victor's notes in a small change purse now in his dresser now. "My event is in two weeks." Yuri nodded. "I'm going to be all the way in Canada." Yuri took a sip of his vanilla bean Frappuccino and played with how he wants to keep the straw positioned. "Before I go, I want to go out with you."

"Out?"

"Yeah, out. We can go to the zoo, to a movie, to a restaurant… I can cook!" Victor shrugged. "You have options." Victor sipped at his latte. "I just want to do something with you."

"We already go to the art museum together every week," Yuri muttered. Despite being overjoyed by the prospect of a different type of outing with Victor, he was anxious. What if, after this outing, Victor didn't want to be with him? That was a depressing thought for Yuri.

"I just want to do something different with you." Victor held Yuri's hand. "If you want, you can say 'no.'"

"But I want to go out with you." Victor smiled. "What will we be doing?"

"I don't know. That's your decision to make. This is about _you_." Yuri felt his face warm. "Like I said, we can go out to eat, we can see a movie, we can go to the zoo."

"We can go to the aquarium!" Yuri was embarrassed by the pitch of his voice when he said that. "We can go to the aquarium," Yuri said, trying to control his excitement. Victor smiled. "Let's go to the aquarium." Victor agreed.

"Can I cook for you after? I assure you that I am a good cook." Yuri nodded. Victor smiled. "This makes me happy. I thought for a moment that you might say 'no' and I would have had to sit here and look foolish." Victor took a sip of his latte. "I'm glad you said yes. When do you want to go?" Yuri shrugged.

"Shouldn't our…"

"Date, Yuri. It's a date." Victor said with a smile.

"Yeah, our date. Shouldn't our date work around your schedule? You are going to be busier than me, after all." Yuri took sips of his Frappuccino. "Just text me when you'll be free." Victor smiled.

"Will you respond?" Yuri nodded. "Good. That makes me happy." Victor squeezed Yuri's hand. "Has Chris texted you?" Yuri nodded. "Did he send you the photo he wants as his contact picture?" Yuri nodded. "It was the dog filter one, wasn't it?" Yuri nodded again. "That's going to be his favorite selfie until he has a new favorite selfie." Victor's phone buzzed. "Speaking of Chris, that must be him." Victor took out his phone. "Pose for me. He wants another picture."

"What does he do with them?" Victor shrugged.

"He probably uses them for his social media snooping."

"What?"

"Christophe is an expert at finding people on social media. Provided that he has enough information, that is." Yuri deadpanned. "He's just going to follow you on Instagram and Twitter. Harmless." Victor smiled. Yuri looked at his phone. He got a follow request on Instagram from Christophe. "Oh! Do you like poetry? I've been giving you poem after poem and reading Neruda to you and I don't even know if you like poetry."

"I like poetry but I don't think I like your kind of poetry." Victor was puzzled. "What I'm trying to say is that you like flowery, artistic poetry about love and longing and the essence of being, and I like haikus and Walt Whitman."

"I can get you to like flowery poetry," Victor firmly said. "I'll expand your poetry palate while you expose me to Asian art." Victor smiled. "Maybe after our dinner we can watch movies and I can read you poetry and you can show me art. It'll be a fun date."

 _ **Victor: Chris, I have an announcement.**_  
 _ **Chris: Ooh, what's up?**_  
 _ **Victor: Cutie said he'd go on a date with me.**_  
 _ **Chris: Aah!**_  
 _ **Chris: This is great! I'm so happy!**_

"Is that Christophe?" Victor nodded.

"He's very happy about our date." Yuri blushed. "Are you going to tell your roommate?"

"Of course. He's my roommate." Yuri said, matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't I tell him?" Victor shrugged, holding his silence. Victor had a myriad of things to say. He wanted to know if Yuri's friends would accept him going out with him, if his roommate would want to meet him to vet him, if his roommate even _knew_ that Yuri was talking to Victor. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Christophe: Congrats on your date with Victor, cutie!**_  
 _ **: Thanks.**_  
 _ **Christophe: Victor is so much fun. Trust me.**_  
 _ **Christophe: You're gonna love being with him.**_

"Was that Chris?" Yuri nodded and showed Victor his phone. "Ah, he called you 'cutie.'" Victor smiled. "Well, he's certainly right about that." Victor smiled. "Has he called you yet?" Yuri shook his head. "He's going to call you eventually. Just making you aware." Victor smiled. "He's going to keep you on the phone for a while, too. He loves long phone calls." Victor placed both of his palms firmly on the table. "I should get you home. And I should get home, too. I want to start the assignment tonight." Victor smiled. "Let's go." Victor offered Yuri his hand and they left the café.

#

 **(Friday, 9 October 2015 – 5:25pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Text me when you get home," Yuri said to Victor as he stepped through the door. Victor assured Yuri that he would and Yuri closed the door. Phichit wasn't in the living room to be seen. "Mon canard?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh, you're here." Yuri went into the kitchen and gave Phichit a kiss on the cheek. "How was your day?" Yuri looked at Phichit dice an onion.

"I was on All Recipes and I felt really inspired." Yuri nodded and leaned on the counter. "We're having lasagna tonight." Yuri nodded. "How was your date with Victor?" Phichit was really focused on these onions.

"It was good. We're going on another one in the future." Phichit nodded.

"To the museum?"

"No, we're going on a real date." Phichit stopped dicing onions. "Mon canard, are you okay?" Yuri looked down at Phichit's hands; they seem to be okay.

"You're going on a proper date with Victor?" Yuri nodded. Phichit grinned; his eyes were watering. "I've wanted this since you told me about your celebrity crush on him." Yuri blushed. "I'm picking out your clothes for your date. You can't argue with me on this; I won't let you." Phichit resumed his onion chopping. "You can tell me all about it! Just be sure to tell me about it while you're crushing the garlic. Help me with dinner."

"Can I get out of my clothes first?"

"Of course," Phichit said. Yuri changed out of his clothes and got to crushing the garlic. Phichit is very enthusiastic about making this lasagna; he's usually this enthusiastic about cooking.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I died but then I came back because I had to upload some chapters lmao


	24. Chapter 24

Ryuugazaki: Tumblr really needs to increase their queue limit. Just saying.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Four  
 **(Tuesday, 13 October 2015 – 12:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was seeing his therapist today. He's anxious and excited to tell Luzia about his date with Victor. First, however, he has to tell Luzia about his episode last week. Phichit and Coach Cialdini insist on it. If it was up to Yuri, he wouldn't tell Luzia about his most recent episode; however, he wants Phichit and Coach to kindly leave him alone about this.

"Hi, Yuri!" Luzia was wearing floral pants and a white dress shirt. What a coincidence! Yuri was wearing floral pants, too. Yuri got up. "How are you doing?" Yuri shrugged. "Come on, let's talk about it." Yuri followed Luzia to her office and he sat in his usual seat. "Now, what's going on?" Luzia smiled.

"Last week I hallucinated and had a panic attack." Luzia nodded.

"What were you hallucinating?"

"Laughter, footsteps, and a large shadow." Luzia nodded. "The shadow wouldn't leave me alone." Luzia nodded again.

"And what did you do when you realized you were hallucinating?"

"I put my head down."

"This was in class?"

"Before class." Luzia nodded. "It was before my art history class started. I was waiting for class to begin." Luzia nodded again.

"What happened after?"

"Victor came in." Luzia nodded. "I asked him to hold my hand and he did." Luzia smiled. "He asked if I was okay and then he took me to the library."

"Why the library?"

"He thought being in the library would be better for me." Luzia nodded. "We stayed there until class was over."

"Did being in the library help?"

"Well, after I took a nap in the library, the voices stopped, but I couldn't stop shaking and the shadow was still there." Luzia nodded. "It was scary. I was glad that Victor stayed with me, but it was still scary."

"I could imagine." Luzia played with a pen on her desk. "Did you use any coping skills?" Yuri shrugged. "You didn't draw or use any deep breathing exercises?"

"My hands were shaking so I couldn't draw even if I wanted to," Yuri said. "And I didn't try to breathe." Luzia nodded.

"Regardless, Yuri," Luzia said, "I am very proud of you for enduring." She smiled. "I want you to make an appointment with Noêmia and discuss this with her."

"What will she do?"

"Probably increase your Zyprexa." Yuri nodded. "Is there anything else you want to say about it?" Yuri shrugged. "Nothing? Nothing at all?" Yuri shrugged again. "Did anything else happen last week that you want to tell me about?" Yuri nodded. "Let's hear it." Luzia smiled.

And so Yuri started telling Luzia about how he's able to land Salchows now and how practice last week went great. She didn't understand much of the skating terminology he used, but she fed off of Yuri's enthusiasm. If Yuri was happy about being able to land Salchows, Luzia was happy, too, and that, for Yuri, was enough.

#

 **(Tuesday, 13 October 2015 – 1:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri's session was over and he was hoping to get in some practice today. He was waiting for the bus that would take him to the rink.

 _ **Christophe: I'm gonna call you, cutie.**_  
 _ **: Right now?**_  
 _ **Christophe: Yep!**_

Yuri's phone rang when he was putting his earbuds in. "Hello?" Yuri said and cleared his throat.

"Hey, cutie!" Christophe said. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Yuri was silent. "Um, how are you?"

"I'm good. Just getting ready to go to practice," Christophe said. "Victor tells me that you like figure skating. Are you going to watch the events this year?"

"That is the plan." The bus came and Yuri got on. He took a seat in the back; there's no one there and he would have the space to draw uninterrupted. "Victor tells me that you're going to the Rostelecom Cup."

"I am. We – Victor and I – are also going to Skate Canada later this month." You could hear Christophe smile through the phone. "It's going to be fun. So be sure to watch us skate!" Yuri giggled and took out his sketchbook. He didn't know what he was going to draw yet.

"I'll be sure to watch." Yuri smiled. He decided to draw a pair of figure skates. The last time he drew in his sketchbook was two weeks ago and he drew this girl on the bus. "How's getting ready for practice going?"

"It's going well. I'm getting dressed right now." Yuri started drawing. "What are you doing, cutie?"

"I'm drawing."

"Ah! What are you drawing?"

"I'm drawing skates."

"Send pics," Christophe said. "I bet your artwork is good." Despite barely starting, Yuri snapped a flick of his drawing and sent it to Christophe. "That's a very impressive skate," Christophe said, tongue-in-cheek.

"I barely started," Yuri said. Christophe laughed. "Victor tells me that you like long phone calls."

"I do!" Christophe sounded like he was moving something. "They're very intimate. And I hope we can become intimate."

"…What?" Yuri was confused by Christophe's phrasing.

"Intimate friends, honey. I hope that we can become intimate friends."

"I see." Yuri cracked a smile.

"Have I shown you pictures of my cat?" Yuri told him that he didn't. "I must show you my baby!" Yuri's phone started buzzing repeatedly. It's pictures of Christophe's cat. "This is Jana. She's my baby." Yuri smiled at the pictures of Jana.

"She's very beautiful." Yuri continued drawing. "Do you like cats?"

"I love them very much," Christophe said. "They're so gracious and perfect." Yuri's phone started buzzing again. It's more pictures of Jana. Then Yuri's phone buzzed again. This time it's Victor.

 _ **Victor: Did you have an appointment today? How'd it go?**_  
 _ **: It went well. My doctor was very happy to see me. She's usually happy to see me.**_  
 _ **Victor: Ah, that's lovely ((sparkling heart emoji))**_  
 _ **Victor: What's your doctor's name? I've never asked that.**_  
 _ **: Luzia.**_

"Do you like cats, Yuri?"

"Cats are beautiful, Christophe."

"Call me 'Chris,' honey," Christophe insisted. "You don't need to say my full first name." Christophe figuratively smiled through the phone. "How do I say your name? Yuri, right?"

"Yes, like that," Yuri said.

"Ah, lovely." Christophe stopped. "Do you want to say 'hi' to Jana?"

"Um, sure." Christophe put down his phone and went to get Jana.

 _ **Victor: Chris texted me to tell me that he was on the phone with you.**_  
 _ **Victor: What is he talking about?**_  
 _ **: He's talking about his cat. He wants me to say 'hi' to her.**_  
 _ **Victor: Tell Jana I say 'hi'**_

"Okay, I got Jana," Christophe said. Yuri heard something rub against the phone.

"Hello Jana," Yuri said. "Victor says 'hi,' too." Jana rubbed her head against the phone again. "You are very pleasant, Jana." Christophe was giggling.

"Jana is very flattered," Christophe said. "I'd love to talk longer, but I really must get going to practice. It was very nice to talk to you, Yuri."

"It was very nice to talk to you, too, Christophe." Christophe made incoherent sounds. "I'll let you get ready now. Bye."

"Bye, cutie." Yuri hung up and continued to draw. The lines he was making were looking uneven. Probably because he was on the bus and he kept going over bumps. "Maybe I shouldn't have sat in the back of the bus," Yuri mused. He gave up at trying to draw and just decided to ride his bus to the rink.

#

 **(Tuesday, 13 October 2015 – 5:25pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Hi, poupée," Phichit said as he came through the door. "How was your session? How's Luzia?" Phichit was nose-deep in a textbook.

"Session was nice. Practice was nice. And Luzia is good." Phichit nodded. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to study." Yuri nodded. "I'd love to talk about the intricacies of your appointment with Luzia, but I really can't right now, poupée." Yuri sat down next to Phichit and took out his sketchbook. Then he got up to change out of his clothes. He came back in Phichit's t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants with cupcakes on it. "What are you doing?"

"I'm drawing." Phichit nodded. Yuri resumed work on his skates. "What class are you studying for?"

"I'm studying for my Eastern religions class." Phichit closed his textbook. "Yuri," Phichit said, "how bad is it that I know nothing about Buddhism and I'm Buddhist?" Yuri stopped drawing and looked at Phichit. "It's bad, isn't it?" Yuri nodded. "Ah! I'm going to fail!"

"You don't have any evidence to prove that you're going to fail." Yuri is using something he's learned in therapy. "You have just as much evidence that you might pass than if you might fail." Phichit looked at Yuri. "You know I'm right."

"Did Luzia teach you that?" Yuri nodded. "She's taught you well. Well done, Luzia." Yuri smiled. "Doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to fail, though," Phichit said. Yuri deadpanned. "Sorry, poupée. You tried." Yuri shrugged and continued to draw skates.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I have a question: Do y'all like the chapters where Yuri goes to therapy? Just wondering. I find them kind of difficult to write because I'm trying to model Luzia after my therapists and it's kind of hard to capture their essence.


	25. Chapter 25

Ryuugazaki: I was discussing my fic with my friend when they pointed out that the GP can't be held in the same place two places in a row. They had seen the timeline I made for the fic and that's how I realized that the anime takes place in 2015 and that I am a complete dumbass.

But am I going to change the dates? No.

Why? Because I'm thirty chapters in and I can't be bothered to.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Five  
 **(Monday, 26 October 2015 – 2:14pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Last week, depression decided to punch Yuri in his solar plexus and leave him laying there for everyone to figuratively see. Yuri went to class last week, but he wasn't doing anything. It felt like he was just there to pass the time. Victor has been trying to talk to him, but Yuri didn't make any moves to respond. Christophe has been texting him regularly, but Yuri has been ignoring him. Phichit has been treating Yuri like nothing's ever happened, and Yuri was grateful for that. Khoudia has remarked to Phichit and Coach Cialdini that Yuri isn't acting like himself – whatever that means – and Phichit knows that. Yet Phichit is trying to act like Yuri is fine.

It's about time for Yuri's math class to end. He didn't learn anything today. He just kind of drew something that was supposed to be a self-portrait.

"Yuri!" It's Victor. Victor came up from behind Yuri and threw his arm around him. "How are you? I missed you on Friday." Yuri stayed silent. "Let's walk." Victor held Yuri's hand and Yuri followed him to a secluded corner of the cafeteria. "I had just come from the library and it was kind of crowded." Yuri nodded. "How have you been? You look exhausted," Victor pointed out. Yuri put his bookbag on the table.

"I am exhausted."

"I really missed you on Friday," Victor admitted. "What happened? You seemed bothered by something when you texted me on Friday."

"I wasn't feeling well on Friday. I'm sorry." Victor nodded. Yuri took out his sketchbook and started shading his self-portrait. "I'm still kind of out of it. I'm just really… tired." Victor nodded. "I'm sorry."

"I can tell." Victor smiled. He squeezed Yuri's hand. "You don't have to apologize to me." Victor moved closer to Yuri and threw his arm around him. "You can lean on me, you know that, right?" Yuri nodded and took Victor's offer. Yuri leaned on Victor as comfortably as he could and closed his eyes. But then he wrapped both of his arms around Victor. It was kind of like a hug. Yuri hasn't really been sleeping lately. Recently he's been watching Cardcaptor Sakura and Candy Candy with Phichit's hamsters. They don't mind watching it with him, but Phichit is kind of bothered that Yuri's watching shoujos with his hamsters at four in the morning.

Victor is really warm. That's probably because he's wearing a coat.

"Do you have a class after this?" Victor asked. Yuri nodded. "What class do you have?"

"I have English." Victor stroked Yuri's face gently as Yuri had his eyes closed. "I'm so tired." Victor nodded. "Do you have a class?"

"I do."

"Is it right now?"

"No, thank goodness," Victor said. "My professor agreed for us to come to class at 3:30." Yuri nodded. "What time does your class start?"

"3:30." Victor stroked Yuri's back. "Enough time to get in a quick nap." Victor smiled. He reached into his pocket and took out his phone. He placed it on the table, by Yuri's sketchbook.

"You should really go to bed tonight," Victor chided. "Have you not been sleeping?"

"No." Yuri snuggled up to him; that kind of took Victor aback. "I might try to go to sleep tonight." Victor lightly stroked Yuri's back. "That is if I don't forget," Yuri chuckled.

"Please don't forget to sleep tonight," Victor murmured. "I'll text you to remind you to go to bed. If you want me to, that is."

"Victor," Yuri murmured.

"Yes?"

"I think I'm going to take a nap now." Victor nodded. "Victor?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. For being with me."

#

 **(Monday, 26 October 2015 – 3:25pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri," Victor nudged Yuri awake. "It's almost time for your class." Yuri nodded. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Are you okay?" Victor cupped Yuri's chin and smiled. Yuri nodded. "Good. I'm glad your nap was beneficial." Yuri smiled. It was weak and tired, but it was a smile nonetheless. "Do you want me to walk you to class?"

"Uh, sure," Yuri said, closing his bookbag. He left his sketchbook out; he wants to hold that. "What floor is your class on?"

"My class is in a different building." Yuri looked at Victor.

"Victor, go to class."

"No, no, I'll walk you to class." Yuri picked up his sketchbook and looked at Victor's outstretched hand. "Let's go." Yuri tentatively took Victor's hand and let him walk him to class. Victor walked Yuri to his class. "I'll text you when I get to class." Yuri nodded. "Laters, солнышко!"

"Yeah, that," Yuri muttered and went inside of his classroom. Yuri opened his sketchbook to continue working on his self-portrait. He wanted to make his octopus tentacles look better. He was doing that, too, when he noticed that there was writing on the next page. "I hope you're not bothered by me writing in your sketchbook… that word… I just really wanted you to see this one! — Your Victor," Yuri muttered to himself. He froze. "Does that mean that Victor looked through my sketchbook?" The thought was abhorrent to Yuri. He didn't want Victor to see his trash drawings. Especially the reference drawings. "Oh no," Yuri was crumbling inside. "He's seen the sketches…"

Now Yuri has to try to not cry in the middle of his English class.

#

 **(Monday, 26 October 2015 – 6:30pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was walking to the bus stop, lost in his daydream. He tried to not think about Victor looking through his sketchbook, but it was hard. He couldn't get the thought out of his head. "What if Victor saw the poses?" Yuri thought. He started trembling. He hasn't even shown his therapist his sketches because he knows that some of them would raise many questions. Yuri makes it so that his sketchbooks are very guarded off and only very few people get access to them. And Victor gets so close to his sketchbook that he even writes in it? It's baffling how much things have changed. Yuri used to not let people touch him; now he's actively seeking out the touch of this _one_ man. Yuri started to chuckle to himself. He's changed from the moment he set foot in America to now.

That doesn't change the fact that Victor looked through his sketchbook and now he – Yuri – has to put stones in his pocket and walk into the river.

The bus came. And, for a split moment, Yuri was able to get his mind off of dying.

#

 **(Monday, 26 October 2015 – 7:35pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Welcome home, Yuri," Phichit said. He was studying again. Yuri took off his shoes and coat and threw his bookbag on the floor. "Rough day?" Yuri nodded. "Same." Yuri laid on the sofa and on Phichit. "Poupée, you know I don't mind if you lay on me, but I really must read this book. I have an English paper to write that's due tomorrow and I didn't read this book at all." Yuri up looked at Phichit.

"Why are you like this, Phichit?"

"I don't know!" Phichit sobbed. "I meant to do my work and I started off strong last month but I don't want to do this anymore."

"You can do it, mon canard." Phichit let out a whine. "We have a month and a half to go." Yuri put his head in Phichit's lap. "I believe in you." Phichit looked down at Yuri and stroked his head. He smiled.

"Mon poupée, can you do me a favor?" Yuri nodded. "You've read The Metamorphosis, right?" Yuri nodded. "Can you help me with my paper? I'll write a draft. Can you look over it for me?" Yuri nodded again. "Thank you _so_ much, poupée." Yuri smiled. Phichit gave Yuri a kiss and let him sit up. "Are you going to watch anime now?" Yuri nodded. "Candy Candy or Cardcaptor Sakura?"

"Neither."

"Oh?"

"I'm going to watch either Oniisama e… or Revolutionary Girl Utena. Which one would you pick?" Yuri asked as he set his laptop up.

"If you watch Oniisama e…, you're just going to cry and be confused by all girl school drama." Yuri nodded. "If you watch Revolutionary Girl Utena, you're going to be… I don't know, Yuri. Do what you want." Yuri nodded again. Phichit was bothered by the idea of his poupée being mentally torn apart by Revolutionary Girl Utena, but he couldn't stop him. "Which one are you going to go with?"

"Probably Revolutionary Girl Utena. I've heard that it's surreal." They sat in silence.

"Yuri, how does it feel to be able to watch anime without subtitles?"

"I feel like a superior being amongst men, Phichit." Phichit laughed. "But, then again, I am Japanese and I was born and raised in Japan so it'd be a very big disappointment if I didn't know Japanese. I would be the failure my parents don't want to refer to me as because of appearances but know I am deep down."

"Yuri, why are you like this?"

"Low self-esteem and depression." Phichit looked at Yuri. "Don't look at me. Look at your book." Yuri started watching Revolutionary Girl Utena. "You have homework."

"Don't you?" Yuri looked at Phichit. "Yuri, do your homework."

"I can't. I'm watching anime." Yuri turned up the volume. The opening intro is playing. "Take my revolution, Phichit." Phichit rolled his eyes. "Take my revolution and read your book." Phichit rolled his eyes again and paid attention to The Metamorphosis. "Let's live our lives heroically, with style, Phichit."

"Yuri, go on your tumblr and crack jokes there. I can't concentrate."

"Should I get headphones?"

"You don't have to. Just keep your jokes to yourself." Yuri looked at Phichit. "You're not going to keep your jokes to yourself, are you?" Yuri shook his head. "Oh dear."

"I told you that this would happen if we became roommates and you didn't listen. Now you must live with the consequences," Yuri told Phichit. "Phichit," Yuri said.

"Yes?"

"You know something I like?"

"Anime girls, Yuri. You like anime girls." Yuri was grinning. "Yuri, I love you, but you have to go in the room and watch Revolutionary Girl Utena because you're a distraction." Yuri agreed that Phichit wasn't getting any work done with Yuri talking to him. So Yuri packed his things and went into their room to watch anime and make jokes that only he will laugh at.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: "How do I cope with realizing that you're a complete dumbass?" you ask.

"I cope with that by writing another chapter of my fanfic," I say.


	26. Chapter 26

Ryuugazaki: If anyone is confused by Phichit's reaction to Revolutionary Girl Utena, I suggest sitting down and watching the anime yourself. The entire anime. You have to watch all of it to truly understand why he said what he said.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Six  
 **(Wednesday, 28 October 2015 – 8:01am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yesterday, Yuri took Luzia's suggestion and got a journal. It was taupe and Yuri only wrote one thing in it: "What do I do with this?" Yuri is not very used to writing down his thoughts. While he was able to write down "do you want to touch me?" and "there's a taste in my mouth / as desperation takes hold" in his sketchbook, he found himself unable to bring himself to be as candid in his new journal. Maybe Yuri was one of those people who was better at expressing himself with pictures rather than words. Maybe. Just maybe.

"Hey, Yuri," Victor said as he came through the door. Yuri was looking at the journal and at his sketchbook, unsure of what to do with either. He hasn't given his sketchbook any thought since Monday evening. He briefly flirted with the idea of setting it on fire. Phichit wouldn't let him do that, of course, but the idea was there. "What are you doing? Are you going to draw another body?" Yuri felt his face warm.

"Y-yeah, I think," Yuri muttered. He looked away from Victor and at his sketchbook. "Maybe burning it wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all," Yuri thought. He can't look at his sketchbook properly now.

"Did you see the note I wrote in there for you?" Yuri nodded. "I hope you didn't mind that I wrote in your sketchbook."

"It's fine," Yuri muttered.

"Did you like it?"

"It was very pretty," Yuri lied. He couldn't understand a word Victor had written except for his words at the end. "It was very relatable." Victor smiled.

"I know not what I seek eternally on earth, in air, and sky…" Victor said. "I know not what I seek; but it is something that I have lost…" Victor took out a water bottle and drank from it. "I like Rosalia de Castro."

"Don't you like any Russian poets?" Yuri asked. "You are Russian, after all."

"I do!" Victor smiled. "I love Pushkin – naturally, of course! Everyone loves Pushkin in Russia." Victor paused. "There's Mandelstam. There's Mayakovsky. There's, um, there's Akhmatova and Lermontov and Pasternak." Victor stopped to catch his breath. "The point I'm trying to make is that I like Russian poets, too."

"Have you given me any Russian poets?"

"I've given you Pushkin before." Yuri nodded. "Can I borrow your sketchbook?" Yuri made a face at Victor's request. Yuri tentatively gave it to him. Victor took a fountain pen out of his pocket and started writing in Yuri's sketchbook. "You're not getting a Russian poet today, sadly, but you'll get one soon." Yuri nodded and looked at Victor write.

"You know all of these poems by heart?"

"For the most part," Victor explained. "It's an unfortunate skill. I read something once and I remember it very well. You would think that I would have utilized this skill sooner, but I don't know how to." Victor stopped writing and drew a little star beside the last word on the line. "It's sad, but it's my life," Victor said and continued writing.

"That's amazing." Victor cracked a smile. Victor gave Yuri his sketchbook back. "Are you done?" Victor nodded and ran his hand through his ponytail.

"Wait, no, I'm not done yet!" Yuri gave the sketchbook back to Victor. Victor took the cap off of his pen and started writing again. Victor made a heart at the end of a word. "Okay, here," Victor gave Yuri's sketchbook back. Yuri closed it and placed it in front of him. "You're not going to look at it?" Yuri shook his head. Victor stayed silent. Then he opened his mouth to say: "Something's bothering you. Something different from Monday." Yuri shrugged. Victor looked around the class. Almost everyone was inside. Victor took out his phone.

 _ **Victor: We're talking after class.**_

Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **: Ok**_

Victor looked over at Yuri and squinted.

 _ **Victor: Ok? Ok? Is that all you have to say?**_

Yuri looked down at his phone. Then at Victor. Then back at his phone.

 _ **: Yes**_

Victor was defeated. Professor Heiner came in and set up. Yuri put his sketchbook away, took out his binder, and attempted to pay attention. That didn't go well. He started writing in his journal and didn't stop until he was in class for thirty minutes.

#

 **(Wednesday, 28 October 2015 – 11:35am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri waited for Victor by the exit of their classroom. He had to talk to Professor Heiner about something. "Skate Canada is in a few days," Yuri remembered.

"Do you need something Mr. Katsuki?" Professor Heiner asked. Yuri was surprised to hear someone say his surname; hell, he was surprised to see that Professor Heiner knows his name.

"No, no, I'm just waiting for Victor." Professor Heiner nodded. Professor Heiner was a middle-aged woman with blonde hair. She was short, her eyes were brown, and she wasn't that remarkable. The only thing that stood out from her – that made her different from the other art teachers – is that she, unlike the others in the art department, wasn't from the state. She had mentioned something about being from Ohio or Indiana or some other Midwest state. Yuri didn't know the difference and didn't really care.

"You might as well take a seat because this might take a while." Yuri sat down in the seat by the door. "So, as I was saying," Professor Heiner continued to Victor, "in order to keep up with the class, you have to go to the museums in your area and do the work there. I want these works every Thursday by 11:59pm or else it means a failure for that assignment." Victor nodded. "Do you understand? Should I explain it again?"

"No, no, I understood you the first time," Victor said. Victor looked like he didn't want to be there anymore. Professor Heiner kept talking. Victor looked at Yuri; Yuri was rolling his eyes. Victor smiled.

"Do I make myself clear?"

"Very." Professor Heiner nodded and left the room.

"Is she… Is she done?" Victor nodded. Yuri got up and Victor held his hand out to Yuri. Yuri took it and they walked to the back of the library. Their usual spot was clear and there were only two other people in that area. Yuri took out his sketchbook and started drumming his fingers on the cover. Meanwhile, Victor took out Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman. "Now, you said you wanted to talk?" Victor nodded. "Speak, Victor."

"Are you okay?" Victor asked as he held Yuri's hands. He brought Yuri's hand to his mouth and kissed the birthmark he had by his thumb. "I'm concerned about you." Yuri nodded. "You've just been acting different and I want to know if there's anything I can do to… I don't know. But I do know that you're just acting different." Yuri shrugged. "Is that all you have to say? Well, do?"

"Yeah." Yuri looked at his fingers. "I don't know what exactly to tell you right now." Yuri was stumped for things he could say to Victor. Who tells someone that they've been taking their Xanax like they're Mentos to stave off their depression? And that they're depressed for no reason at all? No one except Yuri, his mental health team, and Phichit need to know that type of information.

"Can you at least tell me that you'll be alright?" Yuri shrugged. "Yuri, look at me," Victor pleaded. Yuri yielded and tried to look Victor in the eyes. Victor had Yuri's hand to his mouth. He gave up on making eye contact, but he looked at Victor's mouth. Yuri's drawn mouths in his sketchbook.

"I can't do this," Yuri muttered.

"Do what?"

"This." Yuri put his sketchbook in his bag and put on his coat. "I'm going home."

"Yuri, you have a math class."

"I don't care. I'm going home." Yuri buttoned his coat and threw his bag on his shoulders. "Text me if you want, Victor," Yuri said and left. Victor sat there, stunned and confused by what Yuri had said and done. And he hadn't said or done anything at all.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: This was one of the harder chapters to write, to be honest.


	27. Chapter 27

Ryuugazaki: This was an obscenely difficult chapter to write for no reason.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven  
 **(Thursday, 29 October 2015 – 7:39pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri didn't go to practice today because he wasn't feeling well – physically or emotionally. He went to the rink yesterday, but that's when he started to feel unwell. No doubt that Phichit is going to tell Coach Cialdini and Coach Cialdini is going to contact Yuri about telling Luzia about this. That's how things like this usually go for Yuri. Yuri decided to make dinner tonight. He felt like trying this spicy beans and rice recipe he found on All Recipes; he already had the ingredients to make it. Yuri was getting ready to boil the water for the rice when Victor texted.

 _ **Victor: Are you okay?**_  
 _ **: I'm fine.**_  
 _ **Victor: Can I call you?**_  
 _ **: Sure**_

Victor's call came through and Yuri put Victor on speaker. "Hey," he said. His voice was groggy. "I miss you." Victor's in Lethbridge for Skate Canada and so is Christophe. They've been posting their pre-skate adventures on Instagram. They've been eating, drinking, and cuddling all over Lethbridge and the media has been eating it up. The two sex gods of the skating world are together, tearing up the town and causing scandals before Skate Canada? Priceless.

But Victor's only been out of Detroit for a day so he has no reason to "miss" Yuri… In Yuri's mind, at least.

"It's only been a day. You'll be back soon."

"I might be back 'soon' but that doesn't change the fact that I miss you." Victor moved something off of something. "I would like to see your face right now. May I?"

"Sure." Victor made a sound of joy as Yuri propped his phone against the wall so Victor could get a view of Yuri as they FaceTimed. Yuri waved at his phone. He was looking at the pot on the stove.

"What are you doing?" Victor asked.

"I'm watching some water boil." Victor looked confused. "I'm making dinner tonight and I need boiling water." Victor nodded.

"Don't you usually go to practice on Thursdays?" Yuri nodded. "And your coach is okay with that? Missing practice, I mean."

"He knows about my condition. He just wants me to talk to my doctor about it." Victor nodded. "My coach is very caring." Yuri went into the fridge to get out the jalapeños and onions. He started to chop and seed the jalapeños.

"Are you okay?" Yuri stopped cutting. Then continued. "Yuri."

"I'm fine. I'm just a bit under the weather." That was an understatement. Yuri was _not_ just under the weather. He's been depressed and he feels that his sense of self has been thrown away. He doesn't know who or what or where he is in his life anymore. He's been taking Xanax daily to blunt the feeling of dreading life. He couldn't keep going without a small respite.

Yuri started thinking about what he's taking with him to Bordeaux and Moscow next month. "I must remember to get my Xanax," Yuri said to himself.

"I hope whatever ails you goes away soon." Yuri nodded and wiped his knife. "When I get back, do you want to go on our date?"

"Do you have a specific day in mind?" Yuri moved to open the cans of black beans and pour them into a casserole dish. "This should work around your schedule. You're doing events." Yuri opened the cans and internally rolled his eyes at his statement. He's acting like he's not doing events either.

"November 6." Yuri looked at his phone. Victor was smiling. "Are you busy on that day?"

"I don't think so." Victor's smile got wider. Yuri looked over at the water and it still wasn't boiling yet. So Yuri got to cutting the scallions. "How's Chris?"

"Chris is fine."

"I see you got a haircut."

"Ah! I have a story about that!" Victor told Yuri about his night with Chris and how Chris tried to do his hair. "And that's how I learned that I shouldn't trust Chris with a curling iron." Victor's hair was short, curly, and messy now. Yuri smiled. "I went to the Southern Alberta Art Gallery today." Yuri nodded. "Let me send you the pictures I took." Yuri's phone buzzed seven times. "You don't have to look at them right now." Yuri nodded and looked over at the pot. The water still wasn't boiling. He checked the stove eye and it was on. So why isn't it boiling? Yuri added the chili powder, black pepper, cumin, and jalapeños to the beans and put it in the oven. Yuri turned the stove eye up.

"What are you doing right now?" Yuri asked.

"Watching you cook."

"Where's Chris?"

"He's in the pool." Yuri made a face. "Yes, he's in the pool when it's almost November. It's Chris. I wouldn't put too much thought into it." Victor laughed. The pot of boiling water started to simmer. Yuri started to measure out the rice. "What are you making for your roommate?"

"Beans and rice." Victor smiled. "Maybe I'll cook for you one day."

"I'd like that." Victor smiled. He seemed to be laying in a bed. "Have you drawn anything lately?" Yuri shook his head. "Might I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Draw us." Yuri looked into the camera. "Use one of our selfies as a reference."

"Pick the selfie and I'll get around to it." Victor smiled and went to look for a selfie. The water finally started to boil and Yuri added the rice and started to stir. Then his phone buzzed. "Was that the selfie?"

"Yes." Victor yawned. "I'm exhausted."

"Then go to sleep. I'll be here when you want to call me again."

"Are you sure?" Yuri nodded. "I think I'll stay awake. Just for a little bit longer. I want to look at you some more." Yuri nodded.

"You're free to look for as long as you wish."

"I'm glad." Victor yawned again.

"What time is it there?" Yuri asked and covered the rice after he finished stirring.

"It's 4:50." Yuri nodded. "It's kind of early for me to think about going to bed… So I think I'll just watch you cook." Victor chuckled. "So, tell me, how did you learn?"

"How to cook?" Yuri stretched. "My mom taught me at first. After I moved to America, I had to just teach myself." Victor nodded and yawned. "Victor, just go to sleep."

"I can't. I'm busy watching you." Victor shifted. Yuri started to slowly wiggle his fingers in his peripheral area. "Yuri, what are you doing?"

"Stimming." Yuri stopped and looked at Victor. "Don't worry about it. I'm just being weird." Victor chuckled. Yuri took the top off of the pot and stirred the rice again. When Yuri looked at his phone, Victor was looking at the ceiling. Yuri covered the rice again and went back to Victor. This went on and on until Victor finally let sleep overtake him. Yuri took a screenshot of Victor sleeping and ended the call.

 _ **: You fell asleep so I ended the call. Didn't want to disturb you.**_

Then Yuri decided to read the texts Victor had sent but didn't respond to.

 _ **Victor: It smells like dust and moonlight.**_  
 _ **Victor: i know of a path in your heart / that merges with mine / my sweetheart / i** **know of a tranquil sea / within me / that mirrors your moon-face / with delight**_  
 _ **Victor: Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears / My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore / Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore.**_  
 _ **Victor: Love is blind, and lovers cannot see / The pretty follies that themselves commit.**_  
 _ **Victor: I miss you a lot.**_  
 _ **Victor: Text back.**_

"I should ask him why he enjoys sending me weird texts." Yuri checked the oven. "Eh. I'll do that later."

#

 **(Thursday, 29 October 2015 – 8:36pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit was home and they were eating dinner together. Phichit was telling Yuri how Khoudia missed him at practice and was close to coming home with Phichit to nurse Yuri back to health. Yuri was flattered by the idea but wasn't very comfortable with Khoudia bending herself backwards for Yuri. Besides, existential despair and anomie can't be cured with thieboudienne.

"I talked to Victor today."

"Oh, you started responding to his messages again?" Yuri nodded. "What prompted that?"

"He asked if I was okay." Phichit nodded. "Then he asked if he could call me. Then he watched me make dinner and fell asleep."

"Adorable long-distance boyfriends," Phichit said while stifling a laugh.

"He's not my boyfriend."

"You say that as you go on museum and coffee dates with him, hold hands, and write each other love notes." Yuri deadpanned. Phichit ate a spoonful of rice. "I call it like I see it."

"Doesn't mean he's my boyfriend," Yuri said. "And I do not write him love notes."

"But, from what you tell me, you two act like it." Phichit ignored Yuri's "love note" rebuttal; Yuri rolled his eyes. "Plus, he asked you on an actual date. That _has_ to mean something." Phichit ate another spoon of rice. Yuri shrugged and looked at his dinner. He made it, but he didn't feel motivated to eat it. "Is something wrong with the dinner you made?"

"I'm not hungry right now."

"Is your stomach bothering you?" Yuri nodded. "Put it in a container. You can come back to it." Yuri nodded and did as Phichit suggested.

"Don't worry about doing the dishes," Yuri said as he laid in the fetal position on the sofa. "How was practice? How are Masabeeh and Tal'at?"

"Practice was fine. And Masabeeh and Tal'at are being themselves." Yuri nodded. "They missed your presence today, too." Yuri shrugged. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"I'm not alone. I'm home."

"I know, but I haven't seen you at all today and I don't want to shortchange you on anything." Phichit put his plate down and stroked Yuri's head. "I'm sorry I'm a mess right now."

"You're not a mess. Now go to bed." Yuri whined. "Please." Yuri complied and took himself to bed. "Thank you, love!" Phichit shouted from the living room. Yuri laid in bed, looking at the ceiling. Then he checked his phone for new texts from Victor.

 _ **Victor: I woke up for a bit. I hope your dinner turned out well.**_  
 _ **Victor: And I still miss you**_  
 _ **: Dinner turned out well. Might just go to sleep now.**_  
 _ **Victor: If you want, I'll talk to you until you fall asleep.**_  
 _ **: That'd be nice.**_

Victor called and Yuri put Victor on speaker. "Hello, солнышко," Victor said. "How are you?"

"Tired." Yuri put his face on his pillow. "Thank you for calling me," Yuri said.

"Tout le plaisir était pour moi." Victor laughed. Yuri didn't know that Victor knew French. "Did your roommate like the dinner you made?"

"He ate it," Yuri said and smiled. "I wish I could've eaten it, too. It looked good."

"Why didn't you eat?" Victor asked.

"I didn't feel well," Yuri said. "Before I forget, good luck with Skate Canada tomorrow." Yuri rubbed his face on his pillow. "I mean, you probably won't need luck, but –"

"Thank you, Yuri," Victor said. "Your well-wishing is much appreciated." Yuri yawned into his pillow. "Did Chris call you today? He said he was going to."

"No, he hasn't called me today."

"You sound exhausted, love," Victor cooed. Yuri reached for his Zyprexa and took a tablet.

"I'm going to be even more exhausted in a bit. Do you still want to talk to me?"

"Of course!" Victor exclaimed. Yuri smiled. "I always want to talk to you. I just stop myself because you look kind of withdrawn. I don't want to overwhelm you with anything."

"You're so considerate," Yuri gushed. "What time is it in Lethbridge?" Yuri got out of bed and went to the desk. He wanted to work on his costumes for his events. When Yuri wasn't sleeping, he was watching anime and working on his costumes. Phichit has managed to sleep through all the noise Yuri has made when he's busy sewing and measuring and cussing.

"It's 7:11." Yuri nodded. "What are you doing right now? Laying in bed?"

"No, I'm sewing."

"How domestic." Victor laughed. "Do you like sewing?"

"It's calming." Yuri was threading his sewing machine. "The act is, I mean. Threading the needle is a bother. When I get ready to thread it, my hands start shaking and it's just a mess."

"What are you sewing?"

"A costume." Victor stayed silent. "I've already finished the other costumes. They were a nuisance, but they're finished."

"Do you usually make costumes?"

"When there's a need to, I do." Yuri finished threading the sewing machine and went into the closet. He had his costume for his free skate hanging up. He had to add on some tulle to the skirt. After that, he should be done. "Do you know how to sew?" Yuri placed his phone near the sewing machine. "I'm sorry if this gets a bit loud."

"Why would it get loud?"

"Sewing machine." Yuri moved his dressing figure to the desk and started to pin the tulle to the skirt waistband. "I should get my headphones or something. Hold on." Yuri got his spare headphones out of the drawer and put them in. "Okay. I'm back," he said as he was pinning the tulle to the elastic. "Victor, there's something I want you to know," Yuri said. "It's kind of important."

"What is it, Yuri?" Victor sounded breathless.

"Are you going to laugh at me about it?"

"Why would I? If it's important to you, it's important to me!" Yuri put his pins down and scratched the palms of his hands.

"Okay, good to know."

"What did you want to tell me?"

"I really like sewing." Yuri resumed pinning the tulle.

"Is… is that it?" Victor asked. "Is that all you had to say? Nothing a bit weightier?"

"No, sadly." Yuri stopped pinning. "Did you want something weightier?"

"It's fine," Victor said. Phichit walked into their room and sat on Yuri's bed. Phichit looked unamused, but Yuri kept his face away from Phichit's. "Oh, Chris is here."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to be going out to eat tonight." Yuri nodded and looked at his skirt. Victor seems to be choked up over something, but Yuri couldn't figure out what it could be that was bothering him. Phichit got up and looked over Yuri's shoulder and at his phone. He started to point at the phone wildly and Yuri nodded. "Yuri?" Yuri stopped making adjustments to his skirt to give Victor his undivided attention.

"Yes?"

"Can you say something for good luck?" Victor asked.

"Didn't I already wish you luck?" Yuri asked. He's certain he already wished Victor luck.

"Do it again. Please."

"With pleasure…?" Yuri said, confused by his request. It's one thing to wish someone luck but it's another thing for a four-time world champion to ask a peon for luck. It's unheard of, really. However, Victor asked kindly and Yuri was taking up his time. "I believe in you, Victor," Yuri said. "You are going to do great tomorrow. Dazo!"

"Dazo?"

"Yes, dazo." Yuri smiled. "I'll let you get ready for your dinner with Christophe. I don't want to take up any of your time," Yuri said. "I'll get back to sewing. Text me if you want," Yuri said before he moved to hang up.

"Don't hang up! Not yet… Not… Not yet."

"Not yet?" Yuri asked. "Alright then. I won't hang up yet." He continued pinning. Then he yawned.

"Thank you." Victor yawned. "I'm getting tired."

"I told you to go to bed!" Phichit whispered loudly. Yuri waved his hand.

"Is that your roommate?"

"Yes, that's Phichit," Yuri said. "He's currently upset that I didn't go straight to bed."

"Ah, well, I don't want to keep your roommate upset." Yuri nodded. "I'll let you go to bed now. Goodnight, Yuri."

"Goodnight, Victor." Yuri hung up and yawned. "Wow, Victor sure can talk," Yuri said to himself and looked over his skirt.

"I told you to go to bed," Phichit chided. "I said nothing about working on your costume." Yuri shrugged. "Go to bed." Yuri nodded. "Don't bother with putting everything away. Just go to bed." Yuri moved his dressing figure to the corner of the room. Phichit sat on his bed and yawned. "Yuri."

"I know, I know. I'm going to bed." Yuri trudged to his bed and laid down. He was face down in his pillow, yawning.

"I told you to go to bed." Yuri made a sound. Then he fell asleep.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Why is this 12 pages? It didn't need to be 12 pages.

Also, Yuri was really close to saying "dattebayo" to Victor. I had to stop him because this isn't a Naruto fanfic.

Also, Victor said "All the pleasure is for me." He was basically saying "It's my pleasure."


	28. Chapter 28

Ryuugazaki: Weeks back someone suggested that I read "Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches." I kept forgetting to say this, but that fanfic is why I'm writing this fanfic hehe

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight  
 **(Friday, 30 October 2015 – 8:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit just left for class and Yuri was straightening up. He felt like he was reborn, like there was fresh air in his lungs. He didn't want to lay in bed; he didn't want to die today. He just wanted to take life by the reins and take the world by storm. He felt like things were going to be alright for once. Yuri decided to take the initiative and text Victor first.

 _ **: How was dinner last night?**_

Yuri threw his phone on the sofa and continued to sweep and dust and dance throughout the living room. He has to start getting ready for his ballet lesson soon. While he was cleaning, he was thinking about what his life would be like if he didn't decide to pursue a figure skating career – if he decided to continue with pursuing ballet professionally. He's sure he wouldn't have met Phichit and Khoudia and that he wouldn't have been as close as he was to Yuko and that he wouldn't have even stepped foot in Detroit.

But he felt that he would have still majored in art and minored in dance. If there was something Yuri loved more than dance, it was art. And Yuri loved dance a lot. He loved looking at art, making art, and embracing art in all its forms.

Yuri finished sweeping and dancing and went to take a shower for his ballet lesson.

#

 **(Friday, 30 October 2015 – 10:45am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Ballet class went well for Yuri. Eduvigis noted that Yuri looked and sounded a lot better. But that was _after_ she commented that Yuri's lost weight and looks like he's a raccoon. Yuri was very aware of these things. He was hyperaware, perhaps. But did that stop him from leaving his apartment and pretending like he was fine? No.

 _ **Victor: Dinner was fine.**_  
 _ **: That's good. I'm glad you enjoyed it.**_

Yuri waited for the bus that would take him to Palmer Park. He wanted to walk around for a bit before he went back to his apartment.

 _ **Victor: What are you doing right now?**_  
 _ **: I'm waiting for the bus. I'm going to the park.**_

The bus actually came and Yuri sat at the back of the bus. He didn't bring his sketchbook and all he had on him, aside from his keys, phone, and headphones, was his mala. "So that's where I put them," Yuri thought. He started doing a mindfulness exercise, but he kept thinking about Victor. "What was it that bothered him on the phone last night?" he wondered. Yuri had hoped that he didn't do anything that would upset Victor, but he was doubtful that he was involved in Victor's moodiness last night.

 _ **Chris: Are you going to watch Skate Canada tonight?**_

Yuri stopped his mindfulness exercise and just reblogged things on Tumblr.

 _ **: That's my intent.**_  
 _ **Chris: Good! Be sure to pay attention to Victor's routine.**_  
 _ **: I… I was going to do that.**_  
 _ **Chris: Also pay attention to mine.**_  
 _ **: I was going to do that, too.**_  
 _ **Chris: Let me call you lol**_

Chris called and Yuri picked up. "Yes?" Yuri kept his mala in his hand and rolled the beads between his fingers.

"Hi, honey," Chris said. His voice was groggy. "Did he just wake up?" Yuri asked himself. "How are you today? What time is it in Detroit?" Chris yawned.

"It's 11am here. And I'm good. I just finished my ballet lesson for the week." Chris yawned. "Are you still tired?"

"Yeah, I just woke up. It's 8am here." Yuri nodded. "Victor and I are about to get breakfast. He's getting ready right now." Yuri stayed silent. "How was your lesson? Do you like your instructor?"

"My lesson was fine. And my instructor is excellent, as always." Chris made a sound. "How's Jana?" Yuri snapped his fingers and continued to roll his mala beads between his fingers.

"Jana is excellent. My partner is taking care of her while I'm gone." Yuri nodded. He didn't know Chris had a partner. "I miss Jana so much right now."

"I can relate. I miss my dog," Yuri said. His stop is coming up soon. Yuri got up and stood by the entrance.

"You have a dog?!" Chris gushed. "Send pics!" The bus driver stopped and Yuri got off the bus. He wanted to sit by the pond in the park. Yuri briskly walked and sent pictures of Vicchan to Chris. "Your dog is so cute! They look just like Victor's dog!" Chris prattled. "What's their name?"

"We call him Vicchan." Chris made an unholy sound that, to the trained and untrained ear, sounded like screaming. "…Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Chris said. "I just… I love animals so much." Chris sniffled. "What did mankind ever do to deserve pets?" Chris sniffled again. "I'm sorry you have to hear this. I must've scared you off."

"No, you're fine," Yuri assured him.

"Oh, I think Victor is done getting ready. Let me check." Chris put his phone on speaker. "Vitya, are you ready?"

"Chris, why are you screaming early in the morning?" Yuri heard footsteps. "Who are you on the phone with? Why are you screaming? What is going on?"

"I'm on the phone with your boyfriend." Yuri made a face. Yuri felt like there was a hole in his chest now. Victor's presence doesn't usually do that to him. Not anymore, at least. He felt that he had to get off of the phone and fast. "He's showing me pictures of his dog and I had a moment."

"Good morning, Yuri," Victor said.

"Good morning, Victor." Yuri stopped walking and took a picture of these flowers he saw. "I won't keep you two from going to breakfast." Yuri abruptly hung up and continued walking to the pond. "What _was_ that just now?" Yuri wondered. Victor's voice doesn't usually make him feel like he's struggling to breathe. Once he got to the pond, he sat there and looked at the still water.

#

 **(Friday, 30 October 2015 – 5:25pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri wants to die again. He doesn't know where the feeling came from. He thought he was fine and that everything was going to be fine this morning, but apparently not because Yuri doesn't want to see anyone or do anything. Phichit had come home from his class and he was in the living room.

"Yuri!" Phichit came into their room. "Are you watching Skate Canada with me tonight?"

"No," Yuri muttered from the safety of his blanket. It's a blanket that has Starry Night Over the Rhône printed on it. It was a gift from his sister once she found out that he likes Van Gogh. And, speaking of Mari, she hasn't called at all lately. That's not like her at all.

Yuri made a mental note to call her later.

"Do you not feel well?" Yuri shook his head. "Did something happen today?"

"I want to lay under the Ambassador Bridge and die," Yuri muttered. He pulled the blanket over his head and the screen of his laptop. He wants to watch Revolutionary Girl Utena now. Phichit sat next to him and gently patted his back.

"Do you want me to lay with you for a while?" Yuri pulled the covers from off of him and made room for Phichit. Phichit laid next to Yuri and Yuri threw the covers over them. Phichit and Yuri cuddled. "You haven't been sleeping, have you?" Yuri shook his head. "Why are you like this?" Phichit stroked Yuri's head. "Have you been avoiding sleep?"

"I don't know… You know that I've just been watching anime all night. So, according to Luzia, I am avoiding."

"You need to go to sleep," Phichit said as Yuri's phone buzzed. Yuri nodded and stayed silent.

"Phichit," Yuri muttered, "let's live our lives heroically, with style." Phichit kissed Yuri's forehead. "Let's find the strength to throw it all away. Strip down to nothing at all." Phichit smiled.

"Do you want me to watch anime with you? Would that make you happy?" Yuri stayed silent. "Let's watch Sailor Moon. You need a break from Revolutionary Girl Utena."

"But I–"

"You. need. a break from Revolutionary Girl Utena." Phichit was adamant. "You need a break. You need to watch something lighter than that. It's going to ruin you."

"I am a hardened anime veteran. I'd like to see Revolutionary Girl Utena try and destroy me." Phichit rolled his eyes.

"If you continue watching it right now, I will spoil everything." Yuri looked at Phichit. "Every single thing. Even Anthy –"

"I don't want to hear it!" Yuri was flustered. "I'll watch Sailor Moon with you." Phichit was smiling.

"Log on to your Crunchyroll, poupée," Phichit sweetly said. Yuri did as Phichit asked and they watched Sailor Moon until Yuri fell asleep. Which was very soon since Yuri was painfully exhausted. After all, he hasn't truly slept in days.

 _ **Chris: Your Victor is going up second.**_  
 _ **Chris: Pay attention.**_

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Also Atelerix, I don't even know. My French is genuine trash; my Spanish is much better than this.


	29. Chapter 29

Ryuugazaki: Y'all getting a Halloween chapter even though it's June.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine  
 **(Saturday, 31 October 2015 – 10:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

It's Halloween. Yuri was always amazed by the prospect of children – and adults, sometimes – dressing up and hassling strangers for candy. That simply wasn't a thing in Japan when he was a child; however, he likes the holiday. He and Phichit have been planning their costume since last year. Ever since Phichit had Yuri watch Sailor Moon, he's insisted that they're the gender bent variant of Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus. So, running with that idea, Phichit said that he would be Sailor Uranus and that Yuri would be his Sailor Neptune. Yuri felt like he's more suited to be Sailor Mercury, but Phichit really wanted to do a cute couple's costume with someone. Phichit rationalized that Yuri is the best person to do a couple's costume. After all, Yuri and Phichit are platonic life partners.

"Yuri, did you do your wig?" Phichit wants to go all out this year. It's like this is a Comic-Con event for Phichit. Yuri was detangling his teal wig right now. "Ah, you're doing it right now," Phichit said. Yuri nodded.

"Do you want me to iron your costume?"

"That'd be lovely, poupée," Phichit said. "Did you find the mascara?" Yuri shook his head. "Or the lipstick?" Yuri shook his head again. "I guess I'll have to run out and get it."

"I can't find my teal eyeliner either." Phichit sighed. "I could've sworn that I kept all of that in the bathroom." Yuri shrugged and gently ran the brush through a section of his wig. It went through flawlessly. "It's strange how it just disappeared. And I saw it a few days ago, too." Phichit was stretching. "Same for my mascara."

"And not your lipstick?" Yuri shrugged. "You haven't seen your lipstick _at all_?"

"Not at all." Yuri started to brush his wig. "You know what shade to get me, right?" Phichit nodded. "Thank you, canard," Yuri said. Phichit left the room to quickly go to the beauty supply store. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Chris: Did you see the performances?**_  
 _ **: No. I fell asleep.**_  
 _ **Chris: Pour la** **honte** **!**_  
 _ **Chris: Your Victor's performance was excellent.**_  
 _ **Chris: All of his performances are excellent, but this is one you needed to see.**_  
 _ **Chris: Let me find a video of it.**_

Yuri debated on telling Chris that he was busy and that he didn't have time, but what harm is in a three-minute routine? Christophe sent Yuri a link of Victor's routine and Yuri watched it as he detangled his wig. He thought it was moving.

 _ **Chris: What do you think?**_  
 _ **: That was really beautiful.**_  
 _ **: Does Victor usually show that side of him?**_  
 _ **Chris: No.**_  
 _ **Chris: He lives to surprise people.**_  
 _ **Chris: That's our Victor lol**_

Yuri nodded and continued detangling his wig.

 _ **Chris: So** **wyd** **cutie**_  
 _ **: I'm preparing my Halloween costume**_  
 _ **Chris: Send pics**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_

Yuri stopped detangling his wig.

 _ **Chris: I was going to try and guess what you could be, but I honestly have no clue.**_  
 _ **Chris: Is this from a series?**_  
 _ **: Yes. It's from my roommate's favorite anime.**_  
 _ **Chris: That's so cute!**_  
 _ **Chris: So, what's your roommate going to be?**_  
 _ **Chris: If they do Halloween, that is.**_  
 _ **: Just call me.**_

In a few seconds, Chris called Yuri and Yuri picked up. "Salut, cutie!" Chris said. "So, as I was saying, what's your roommate going to be for Halloween?" Yuri put his phone on speaker and brushed his wig. Brushing his wig is really soothing for Yuri right now.

"Well, we're doing a couple's costume." Chris made a sound. "I'm going to be Michiru and Phichit's going to be Haruka." After a silence, the sound of Yuri detangling his wig was all that can be heard. "Christophe?"

"Yes?"

"Just making sure that you're still there," Yuri said as he sprayed the solution of fabric softener and water on a set of tangles. "It's going to be fun." Yuri worked his fingers into the tangle.

"Do you like Halloween?"

"It's one of my favorite Western holidays." Yuri worked his comb through one of the smaller tangles. "So, how's Skate Canada treating you?"

"It's been well. I got to hang out with some old friends when we touched down. We went out to dinner, got drinks, made jokes. It's a bonding experience. Well, it is before the events start." Chris laughed. "We form our rivalries, but it's just fun." Yuri nodded and continued to detangle his wig. "Yuri," Chris said, "I'd hate to get involved in your relationship with Victor, but Victor's really upset."

"I had figured," Yuri murmured, still detangling this one knot.

"Can you just call him and talk to him for a bit?" Yuri worked the knot out finally and continued to work. "Please."

"I'll call him," Yuri said. "I can't promise you that the conversation will be productive by any means, but, if it means so much to you, I'll yield and talk to him."

"Thank you, Yuri. If I ever get to Detroit, I'll be sure to buy you a round." Chris hung up. Yuri couldn't believe that he said that he would _yield_ to Chris for Victor's sake. Yuri stopped detangling his wig and looked at his hands. Yuri doesn't like this. He called Victor and put his phone on speaker.

"Hello? Victor?"

"Hello," Victor said. "I miss you."

"It's only been what? Two? Three days?" Yuri said.

"I know, but I feel far away from you," Victor said.

"Well, you _are_ far away from me," Yuri pointed out. "You're in Lethbridge and I'm in Detroit. You're far." Victor chuckled.

"What are you doing right now?" Yuri sprayed the solution on his wig.

"I'm detangling a wig." Victor made a sound. "What you're hearing right now is a spray bottle," Yuri said. "My roommate and I are going trick or treating today."

"You're going trick or treating?" Victor asked. "Well, I hope you have fun and get a lot of candy." Yuri nodded and started brushing his wig. "About Thursday…"

"Yes?" Yuri was detangling the last section of his wig now. After this, he planned on ironing their costumes. "Victor? Do you have something to say?"

"I just miss you a lot right now." Victor cleared his throat. "Do you miss me?" Yuri got up and went to take his last Xanax. He's been taking them every few hours to try and stave off his anxiety and he's finally run out. Then he went back to detangling his wig. "Hold on." Yuri's phone started buzzing. "Dinner with Chris was fun. We took selfies." Yuri nodded. His phone started buzzing again. It's more pictures, no doubt. Yuri looked at the photos and saw the last text Victor had sent.

 _ **Victor:**_ ** _But love is blind, and lovers cannot see /_** ** _The pretty follies that themselves commit_**

"Victor, I have a question." There was silence on the other end. "Why did you send me a line from The Merchant of Venice?" He didn't recognize any of the other quotes Victor had sent him.

"Oh, good, you recognized the quote," Victor said. Yuri stopped scrolling and continued to detangle his wig. "Have you drawn anything recently?" Yuri squeezed the handle of the brush.

"No," Yuri muttered. "I haven't been in the mood to draw recently. I haven't been in the mood to do anything." He was finished with detangling the wig and started to absentmindedly brush it. Yuri heard the door open and shut; Phichit just left. Victor, why do you send me weird texts?" Victor made a sound. "Like, a few days ago you sent me 'It smells like dust and moonlight' and 'Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears / My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore / Scraping through my head 'til I don't want to sleep anymore.'"

"Why don't you send me weird messages?"

"I don't believe in sending weird messages." Yuri's phone buzzed. "Did you send another weird message?" Victor responded in the affirmative. "I'm not going to respond to that." There was another long silence.

"Do you still want to go to the aquarium?"

"Yes," Yuri muttered. "Hold on." He stopped brushing the wig, grabbed his phone, and went into the kitchen to set up his ironing area. He got the iron out of the cabinet and the blankets from the drawer. "Continue." Yuri started with Phichit's skirt. Yuri made practically everything himself – from the shirts and collars to the skirts. The only things he didn't make were the accessories and shoes.

"About your sketches, Yuri, I–"

"Don't want to hear it," Yuri turned Phichit's skirt over and started ironing the back.

"I like the sketch you made of us sleeping," Victor blurted out. Yuri stopped ironing Phichit's skirt and looked at the pleats. "I just wanted to tell you that."

"Okay," Yuri said.

"When I come back, I want to give you something," Victor said. Yuri nodded. "I really hope you'll like it." Yuri nodded again and resumed ironing. Then he started to iron Phichit's shirt. "How's your roommate?" Victor asked, trying to change the subject.

"He's fine."

"Where is he? In class?"

"No, he went to go get eyeliner," Yuri said. "Victor, this conversation is awkward and I don't want to continue it. Just text me." Yuri ended the call and continued to iron. He even lightly ironed their tights. Then he checked his texts and decided to respond to Victor's last text.

 _ **: When the night is at its quietest, I can hear death.**_  
 _ **Victor: what**_

Yuri put their clothes on a hanger and hung them on the wall. Then he decided to shower and clean up until Phichit came back. They said that they were going to get ready together.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Yuri is an enby. Bless up.


	30. Chapter 30

Ryuugazaki: It's hot as hell and y'all getting a new chapter.

* * *

Chapter Thirty  
 **(Saturday, 31 October 2015 – 11:11pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Trick or treating was a success and the haul was more than modest. "Yuri, do you want to watch the free dances with me? I found a place where we can watch the entire event." Phichit was out of his costume and makeup and was wearing his hamster onesie. He was reclining on the sofa and had his legs open, waiting for Yuri to take a seat between them.

"Sure." Yuri was still wiping his lipstick off. Phichit's laptop was on the coffee table and the tchotchkes were surrounding it. Yuri was in his pajamas with the moon and stars on it. They were blue and soft and Yuri loved them. They also happened to be women's pajamas, but he didn't care about that. They were comfortable. Yuri got beverages for them and sat in between Phichit's legs and leaned back. Yuri wanted to bring the hamsters in the living room so they can watch the event, too, but Phichit insisted that they needed to sleep.

"What song are you using for your short routine?" Phichit asked as he waited for the stream recording to buffer.

"Ciao Ciao and I decided on Heart by Yiruma." Yuri stretched his legs and placed his feet on the arm of the chair. "He thinks I can skate to it. I'm going to trust him."

"I can't wait until I get to compete with you!" Phichit gushed as he ran his hands through Yuri's hair. "It's going to be great!" Yuri smiled. "We should do couples skating. That'd be fun."

"We can't. It's one guy and one not guy." Phichit looked at Yuri. "It's tragic, I know." Yuri stretched his legs. Despite his infrequent usage of female pronouns and his female feelings, Yuri likes skating in the men's division. "If things were different, I would love to skate with you." Phichit smiled. Yuri's phone buzzed.

"I got it," Phichit said. "Victor said 'Tonight's skating was fierce.' What do you want me to say?"

"Say 'I could imagine' for me?" Phichit nodded and gave Yuri his phone. "Thank you, mon chou."

"No problem, mon canard." Yuri yawned. "We can start watching now. Sit up." Yuri sat up and Phichit leaned over to play the live stream. Phichit returned to his prior position and Yuri leaned back. "Yuri, you ever think about how this is weird?" Yuri pulled the blanket over them.

"In what way?"

"In the way that you're bigger than me. Shouldn't you be on the outside?" Yuri shrugged. "You're bigger so you should be the big spoon."

"I just got comfortable."

"I know, but you're the bigger spoon so we should switch."

"I literally just got comfortable." Phichit rolled his eyes. "Aw, who's my favorite?" Yuri said as he stroked Phichit's face.

"Victor." Yuri deadpanned. "Yuri, you like Victor. And when I say 'like,' I don't mean as a friend, athlete, or person." Yuri looked up at Phichit. "That isn't to say that you _don't_ like Victor as a friend, athlete, or person, but you like him more than that." Phichit stroked Yuri's face. Yuri was focused on the announcers. "Don't pretend like you didn't hear me."

"I heard you."

"So?"

"So… So I don't know." Yuri shrugged and scratched his thigh. "But, no matter how much I may or may not like Victor, you will always be my favorite." Yuri shifted so he was laying on his side. "We're platonic life partners, remember?" Phichit sucked his teeth and smiled. "You can't be mad at me for too long," Yuri said as he poked Phichit's cheek.

"You're right."

"How did we even become life partners?" Yuri asked.

"Everyone thought we were boyfriends and we decided that we were going to play around with that." Yuri nodded. The audience started clapping. "Somehow we went from play boyfriends to serious platonic life partners."

"We should watch the skating," Yuri said.

"Yeah. Let's watch the skating," Phichit said. And they watched the skating. Then Phichit had a question. "Yuri, why have you been taking your Xanax like they're breath mints?" Phichit wrapped his arms around Phichit. "Does Xanax help with depression?" Yuri shook his head. "Then why are you taking them so frequently?"

"I'm anxious and depressed, mon chou."

"Is taking Xanax while you're depressed a good idea?" Yuri looked up at Phichit. "You don't know, do you?" Yuri shook his head. "I love you, but you're so irresponsible at times." Yuri shrugged. "Don't take your Xanax like that anymore. Please."

"I won't. I need to get my refill anyway." Phichit cuddled up to Yuri. Phichit felt Yuri's stomach growl.

"You haven't been eating, either."

"I know," Yuri muttered. "I don't want to talk about why I'm depressed right now. Plus, we're supposed to be watching men's figure skating."

"Right, right," Phichit said, "let's just watch men's figure skating." Yuri's and Phichit's phone buzzed. Phichit leaned over to grab their phones. Yuri took his and looked at the screen. "Who texted you?"

"Khoudia. You?" Yuri unlocked his phone. "Same?" Phichit nodded.

 _ **Khoudia: Phichit told me you two went trick or treating. Send pics.**_  
 _ **: [has sent attachments]**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Y'all cute and you need to stop it.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Like right now.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: My heart can't take it.**_

Yuri sent the pictures he took of Phichit and of himself. A lot of people really liked their costumes today. "Phichit, pose!" Yuri took a selfie of him and Phichit.

 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Khoudia: You're trying to kill me aren't you?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: You two are too cute for words.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Just… [Lauryn Hill voice] killing me softly.**_

Yuri showed Phichit his phone. "Khoudia is being extra." Phichit giggled. "I'm glad that together we have the power to stop hearts and ruin lives." Yuri snuggled up to Phichit. "What should we do with this power of ours?" Yuri shrugged. "I say that we should go out and do what we do best: ruin lives." Phichit giggled. "Whose life should we ruin first?"

"I'd say mine but my life is already ruined." Phichit made a face. "I suppose we'll just ruin some lives later. Shouldn't we be watching Skate Canada?"

"You and I both know that we're not going to watch this live stream." Yuri nodded. "Do you want to just go to bed?" Yuri nodded again. "Yeah, let's just go to bed." Yuri reluctantly got up and grabbed Phichit's laptop for him. Phichit took their phones and they went to bed.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm sweating. Send help.


	31. Chapter 31

Ryuugazaki: According to my friend, I've written Chapter 32 to 39 with no breaks and they're telling me to take a break.

I was going to drop Hamilton lyrics, but I decided against it. I'm so tired. And, speaking of Hamilton, if you try hard enough, you could probably find a few Hamilton references in my fanfic. Have fun with that.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-One  
 **(Wednesday, 4 November 2015 – 8:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri awoke to the sound of a woman shrieking this morning. He asked Phichit if he heard it, too, but he didn't so Yuri wrote that off as another hallucination. "What a weird hallucination, though," he thought to himself as he wrote in his journal. Luzia told him to actually try to write in his journal. So that's what he's doing: writing in his journal. He doesn't really see a point, but Luzia _did_ ask nicely.

"Hi, Yuri!" Yuri looked at the door. Victor is back. Yuri didn't expect him to come to class today. Victor took his seat next to Yuri. He looks exhausted. "What are you doing?"

"My doctor asked me to start journaling," Yuri said as he continued to write. He doesn't tell people that he goes to therapy; he thinks it's one of those things that is better unsaid.

"So she asks and you do it?" Yuri nodded.

"She asked nicely," Yuri said. "Plus, I like my doctor. Why wouldn't I do as she asked?"

"So you're saying that if you like someone, you'd do what they'd ask?"

"That's the gist of it," Yuri said. Victor smiled. "I just love my doctors, roommate, and coach so much." Victor looked away from Yuri. "That's what makes deferring to them easier." Victor nodded. "We're still going on our date on Friday, right?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah." Victor looked back at Yuri. "Are we going to the museum on Friday?" Yuri stopped writing. "What did we see last time we went to the museum?"

"The last collection we saw was the Art of Asia one, I think."

"I remember that we said that we'd see the Islamic Collection together after the Art of Asia one. We were supposed to go the week after, but you canceled on me." Yuri nodded. "Are you going to tell me why you couldn't make it?"

"You wouldn't understand it, I'm afraid," Yuri said. He started writing again. "Maybe I'll tell you one day when I'm able to get past all of the anxiety surrounding it." Victor stayed silent. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Yuri nodded. "Can we discuss something?"

"Sure. What do you want to discuss?"

"Your self-portraits." Yuri stopped writing and closed his journal. "Just want to know if you're okay."

"Why do you want to know if I'm okay?"

"Well, one of your self-portraits has you with tentacles for eyes and tentacles coming out of your mouth." Victor looked at his desk. "It's just kind of a weird thing to draw." Yuri looked at his hands. "And then there's the Cyclops one. And then there's this one I don't really understand."

"Art is not meant to be understood," Yuri said.

"But are you okay? That's my main concern."

"No, I'm not. Next question," Yuri said. Victor stayed silent. That was probably the closest thing Victor was going to get to Yuri being open about his feelings and what he does. Yuri resumed journaling.

"Why aren't you okay?"

"Because –" Yuri cut himself off. "I'm not sure how to talk about it." He wiped his face. "If I knew how to talk about it, I would," he said.

"Will you ever be okay?"

"No. I'd like to stop it with the questions for now." Victor took out his phone. "What are you doing?"

"Checking the time. It's 8:15." Victor bit his lip. "We have _time_ for more questions."

"We do. I just don't _want_ to answer more questions." Yuri put his journal away and took out his sketchbook. He's trying to get used to looking at it again. "I hope you can respect me not wanting to answer anymore questions right now." Victor nodded and reached into his pocket. He slid a note across Yuri's desk. "Oh, a note you didn't write in my sketchbook for once," he said, tongue-in-cheek. Victor deadpanned.

"Open it," Victor said with a smile. Yuri was confused. "Open it!"

"Alright, alright!" Yuri hastily opened the note and looked at it. "What time is it?"

"8:17." Yuri didn't have a valid excuse for not reading it right now. "It's Akhmatova today." Yuri looked for a word he could recognize. He was able to recognize "unfair" and "mute," but not much else. Yuri supposed that it was an alright poem. "One of my earliest introductions to poetry was by way of Anna Akhmatova." Yuri nodded. "One of the other poets I was introduced to was Pushkin, but I don't think he counts."

"Why?"

"Everyone in Russia loves Pushkin. He's our national poet." Yuri nodded. "So I don't think he really counts. But I did grow to appreciate him later." Victor smiled. "Yuri?"

"Yes?"

"I have to tell you something." Yuri felt his heart beat faster. "What is this?" he asked himself. Yuri nodded as he analyzed his own thoughts. "Are you ready?" Yuri nodded. Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and said: "I really like poetry." Yuri looked at Victor, at his hand, and deadpanned. Victor was fighting a smile. Why is he so happy about this?

"Let go of my hand," Yuri said.

"Are you upset?" Victor asked. _Was_ Yuri upset? Why would he be upset? Why _should_ he be upset? It's not like Yuri expected anything emotional from Victor.

"I'm not upset," he told Victor. Victor moved his desk closer to Yuri's. "What are you doing?"

"Moving closer."

"Why?"

"So I can do this!" Victor moved close enough to reach out and touch Yuri's face. He kept his hand on his face. Victor attempted to look Yuri in the eyes, but Yuri wasn't trying to meet his gaze. "Yuri. Look at me."

"Can we do this later?"

"This?" Yuri removed Victor's hand from his face and pushed it towards Victor's chest. "Hm, later then." Yuri opened his sketchbook and selected a fresh, new page for him to doodle on. "What will I draw today?" Yuri asked himself. He looked over at Victor. "Could I draw him like this?" He mused. "No. I won't draw him like this," he told himself. Yuri took out his phone. It's 8:27 now. Professor Heiner has three minutes to come and disperse this awkward energy.

"Hello, all!" A girl said as she came into the room. Yuri recognized her from his math class. Had this person always done that when she came into the class? Or had Yuri been so enthralled with his interactions with Victor that he blocked everything and everyone else out? Then he wondered if people actually took note of Yuri and Victor's interactions in class. That thought makes Yuri feel uncomfortable.

 ** _: Had that girl always done that?_**  
 ** _Victor: I… don't think so?_**  
 ** _: Hm. Peculiar._**

Victor looked over at Yuri. He shrugged. Yuri looked back at his sketchbook. "I could draw those flowers from Friday," he muttered to himself.

"Pardon?"

"I was just thinking out loud." Yuri unlocked his phone and found the picture he took of the flowers on Friday. "Those were some lovely flowers," Yuri thought. He started sketching; Professor Heiner came in when he was one-fourth the way finished. She came in and started talking and talking and no one was trying to pay attention.

#

 **(Wednesday, 4 November 2015 – 11:29am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri finished the flowers by the end of the class. Victor was doodling something, too. Yuri nudged Victor to get his attention. Yuri grabbed his attention and gestured to his bag. Yuri already packed his sketchbook and pencils. Victor nodded and packed his things. They walked out of their classroom and into the back of the library.

"Now, what was it that you didn't want to do in class?" Victor said as he sat down.

"I don't know." Yuri made himself comfortable in his little corner of the sofa. He was looking at his fingers as they squeezed his sketchbook.

"Hm," Victor said, "do you usually avoid things?" Yuri's fingers went white. The question was asked in such a way that it reminds Yuri of Luzia. Yuri was hesitant to answer him. "Do you?"

"I'm working on not avoiding things," was the only answer Yuri can give him. "But is it really avoidance if I said that we can do this later?"

"I don't even know what we're doing!" Victor exclaimed. Yuri shushed him. "Sorry." Yuri stopped squeezing his sketchbook and let the color return to his fingers. "I'm really excited for our date on Friday," Victor said. "You never answered me, though."

"Answered you about what?"

"Do you want to go to the museum before we go to the aquarium?" Yuri shrugged. "Don't make me make the decision." Yuri shrugged again and looked at the pattern on his sketchbook. "Yuri, don't act like this."

"I don't know," Yuri muttered. "You make the decision." Victor made a face.

"We have enough notes on the art to be able to get away with not going to the museum, right?" Yuri shrugged. "Okay, no museum then. Are you doing anything else on Friday?" Victor asked.

"I have ballet."

"Is it imperative that you go?" Yuri was silent. "What time is your lesson?"

"10am." Victor nodded.

"I'll come for you at 6pm." Yuri nodded. He started squeezing his sketchbook again. Victor grabbed his hands. "Stop squeezing your sketchbook. You're going to damage it."

"Why are you so interested in my sketchbook?" It was Victor's turn to be silent. "I know you looked through it."

"You're right. I did and I couldn't help myself," Victor admitted. "And I saw the loveliest sketches in there." Yuri's face felt warm. "I like the ones with us. They're nice. I think about them a lot," he said. "And, if you want to touch–"

"Do you have anything else to say about my sketches?" Yuri had to cut him off. He didn't want to hear about the phrases he's written in his sketchbook. Yuri felt that those were possibly worse than his sketches.

"Bring your sketchbook tomorrow. I'd really like to watch you draw." Yuri nodded. "Also, could you explain the bodies you've drawn?" Yuri looked up at Victor. "Specifically the male ones in the poses." Yuri knew what poses he was talking about. "Can you?"

"I take my feelings and put them into my art so I don't have to acknowledge them." Victor kept his eyes fixed on Yuri. "Does that help?"

"It helps a lot," Victor said and let go of Yuri's hands. "Do you want me to walk you to your math class?"

"No, I'll be fine," Yuri lied. He was kind of dazed by Victor saying that he likes and thinks about the sketches Yuri has drawn of them together. "I'll get going to class now. See you." Yuri got up, but Victor held on to his arm. "Do you need something?"

"One more thing and I'll let you go to class." Yuri sat back down and slid back into his spot. "When I told you my name, how did you feel?" Victor let go of Yuri's arm.

"Anxious. I didn't know why you were here, what you wanted from me, and if I was good enough for you to speak to." Victor waited for Yuri to say more. "I really must go to my math class."

"And I'll let you go. I'll see you tomorrow." Victor smiled and let Yuri go to his math class. He took out The Martian Child. He finished Rubyfruit Jungle last night.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: My friend is having me watch Your Name and I guess I'm going to go watch Your Name now. Peace peace, fanm.


	32. Chapter 32

Ryuugazaki: I watched Your Name and I don't understand how I got emotionally invested in a movie in two hours.

It's a two-hour movie and it's online. I recommend it.

Also, y'all getting 32 now because I didn't want to leave the thing at as an odd number :*)

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Two  
 **(Wednesday, 4 November 2015 – 6:39pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was helping Phichit with dinner tonight. Phichit called Yohani just to ask how to make arroz con coco. Yuri loved how Phichit would get excited over cooking. So, naturally, it didn't make sense to him that Phichit decided to become a political science major. Yuri was assigned to frying the fish; Phichit wanted to make the rice himself.

"Remember that if your coconut milk has a stabilizer you have to add some vegetable oil to it _before_ you add the rice," Yohani said. She was tapping something that sounded plastic.

"Thank you for helping me, Yohani," Phichit said as he stirred the coconut milk in the pot. He swears up and down that stirring it will keep it from sticking.

"It's no problem, baby," she said. "I see Yuri in the background, looking all domestic." She laughed. "You two are so cute together."

"We know," Yuri said as he rinsed the fish again. Yuri and Phichit get that a lot.

"Is Diosmari back yet?" Yuri asked.

"No, not yet. I should get off the phone before she comes back and finds out you're making arroz con coco."

"Why?" Phichit asked.

"Because she'll come over and eat all of your food. I'm trying to save y'all here." Yohani laughed. "Alright, text me if you need help with the rice. You know I don't put down my phone." Yuri nodded. "Second thought, now I want arroz con coco. I'll make some tonight, too. Thanks for the dinner idea, y'all." Phichit and Yuri chuckled. "I'll leave y'all alone. Ciao!" Yohani ended the call and Phichit put his phone to sleep.

"Why don't we hang out with Yohani and her friends more?" Phichit asked. "I almost forgot how cool she and Diosmari are."

"They haven't told you about any parties recently so we haven't had the chance to," Yuri casually said as he started to season the fish. "Why don't you text Jada and ask if she's heard of any good events?" Jada is part of this group Caribbean girls who circuit the party and nightclubbing scene in Detroit. Yohani and Diosmari are, too. The girls love Yuri and Phichit and they always make sure to keep them in the loop about events they think they'd like.

"Are you in the mood to party?"

"If it's on Saturday, maybe." Phichit made a face and added the vegetable oil to the coconut milk. "My date is on Friday, remember?"

"Oh! Right!" Yuri nodded. "I'm still picking out your clothes. You are going to look great at the… where did you say you two were going?" Phichit added the rice, the brown sugar, and the salt, and stirred.

"We're going to the aquarium to look at some marine life. Then we're going back to his place for dinner. He said he's picking me up at 6pm."

"That gives me just enough time to do your hair, too," Yuri made eye contact Phichit as he shook the fish in the bag of seasoning. "Yes, I'm doing your hair also."

"I can do my own hair."

"Not for this date you can't." Yuri kept shaking the fish and didn't break the eye contact. "You can look me in the eye all you want. You're not going to win," Phichit said. "Also, your eye contact skills are weak."

"Just like me." Phichit chuckled at Yuri's statement. He stopped stirring and got the oil ready so Yuri can fry the fish. "How good are you at multitasking, mon chou?" Phichit asked.

"Fairly well."

"Good, because I'm going to need you to stir while I get the pan ready for you." Yuri started stirring the rice and seasoning the fish. "Thank you, poupée." Yuri watched Phichit clean and pour oil in the pan as he was stirring the rice and shaking the fish. "You know you don't have to look at me at work, right?"

"I know."

"You can stop shaking the fish now," Phichit said. He took the bag out of Yuri's hand and placed it on the counter. Phichit poured the oil and turned on the stove eye. "Keep stirring!" Yuri stirred the rice furiously. "I said _stir_ not _swirl_ , Yuri."

"I know what you said." Yuri stopped stirring and the coconut rice sloshed against the walls of the pot and the spoon.

"Keep stirring." Yuri resumed stirring. Phichit gave Yuri two boxes of raisins.

"What are these for?"

"The rice." Yuri looked at the box of raisins and at the rice. "Add them, Yuri," Phichit demanded. Yuri took a break from his stirring and opened the raisins and added them to the rice. Then he continued to stir. "Thank you."

"Is the oil hot yet?" Phichit put his hand over the oil. It always scares Yuri when he does that. "Yes? No?"

"Not yet," Phichit said. He removed his hand from over the oil and shook the fish. "Yuri, stop stirring the rice and grab your phone." Yuri gave the spoon to Phichit and went into their room. Yuri grabbed his phone; he has seven unread texts. Four were from Chris. Yuri went back into the kitchen. Phichit told Yuri to set a timer for three minutes and Yuri did as he was asked.

"Chris texted me." Yuri told Phichit as he stirred the rice. Phichit nodded. "Do you want me to read you the texts?"

"That'd be lovely, mon lapin."

"'So, your date with Victor is on Friday. I am so happy for you two. I am crying glitter and rose petals.' And he sent a picture."

"Describe it."

"Chris has his face in a bouquet of roses and he has a jar of glitter on his head." Phichit laughed. "Look!" Phichit looked at the photo as he stirred; he laughed harder.

"That's great. Send that to me." Yuri forwarded Chris' photo to Phichit. "Thanks, lapin," Phichit said. Phichit let go of the spoon and Yuri took over where Phichit left off. "When the alarm goes off, you can add three cups of water and stir." Yuri nodded and waited.

Yuri and Phichit continued to cook together and they ate together. Yuri was surprised that he had an appetite despite the hollowness he was feeling. Phichit was glad to see that Yuri ate something because he knows that Yuri hasn't been eating much of anything. Phichit wasn't going to point that out to him; instead, he was going to ponder that as he went on with his night.

#

 **(Wednesday, 4 November 2015 – 11:44pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri," Phichit said. Yuri was hypnagogic and thinking about surprisingly nothing. "Are you serious about wanting to go to a party on Saturday?"

"If not to a party, then to a club or something," Yuri muttered. "It's been a while since we've been to Northern Lights."

"You're right," Phichit said. He turned off all of the lights in their room except for the nightlights. He has those for the hamsters. "Let's go to Northern Lights on Saturday!" Yuri nodded. "You can pick out your clothes for Saturday. I'll let you do that," Phichit said as he crawled into bed.

"Thank you for giving me permission to pick out my own clothes," Yuri said with an eye-roll.

"No problem, poupée," Phichit said as he yawned. Then he got out of bed. "Move over," he told Yuri. Yuri moved over and Phichit laid down next to him. "I'm so glad that you sleep with multiple pillows," Phichit said as he yawned again. He placed his arm over Yuri's torso and placed his nose in the crook of his neck. Yuri stroked Phichit's head as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Recently I was selected for a specialized program at my college and I have to do applications and speak to a specialized counselor for it. Fingers crossed that I get accepted!


	33. Chapter 33

Ryuugazaki: In a perfect world, this fanfic would be ending in three chapters.

But this is not a perfect world and y'all gonna be stuck with me for… I don't know. A lot longer than necessary.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Three  
 **(Thursday, 5 November 2015 – 11:39am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was in the cafeteria, looking at the vending machines. He wanted to get something, but didn't know what. "I could get a water," Yuri muttered, "but I can also get Cheez-Its." Cheez-Its were the most appetizing thing the school had in the vending machines, and that says a lot. Yuri hates Cheez-Its. Yuri wanted to make a decision and soon; his stomach was growling and he wanted to eat for once. He couldn't find anything he wanted and just decided to get a bottle of water. It wasn't what he wanted, but it's what he had to get.

Yuri went outside and sat on one of the benches by the pre-med building and drank his water. He wanted to kick himself for deciding to sit outside. It's 29ºF out and the bench is metal. The cold of the metal was seeping into his bones through his woolen trench coat.

Yuri was kind of hoping to see Victor today. He wanted to give him a note. He was reading a Charles Bukowski poem that he felt Victor would like. Emotional poetry was never Yuri's strong suit; instead, he was more into poetry that was about nature or concrete ideas. Victor, on the other hand, likes poetry about love and fondness and loss. Maybe Yuri was finally becoming cultured in regards to poetry because of Victor. One night, Victor had remarked that he was finally understanding art and appreciating it. Maybe this relationship had its benefits for the both of them.

 _ **Victor: Where are you?**_  
 _ **: I'm by the pre-med building.**_  
 _ **Victor: On my way!**_

Yuri took his gloves out of his coat pocket and put them on. Then he went into his bookbag and took out Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Yuri was trying to acquaint himself with Russian literature. After all, the man he was going on a date with was Russian and was highly familiar with Russian literature. He wanted to be familiar with it, too.

Yuri was a bit worried about the date, but not because he was going to be on a date with a man. He was more worried about what people back home would think about him if he went on his date. He couldn't tell his family or sparse friends in Japan about his date. At best, they won't understand. At worst, he'll be ostracized.

But he could tell Phichit; which he did. He could tell Khoudia – who, despite her upbringing, was amazingly supportive and became an even more overprotective part-time mom friend. He could tell his therapist and psychiatrist.

But he couldn't tell Coach Cialdini. Yuri felt that he would have an aneurysm if he found out that his skater was well acquainted with and going out on a date with the Victor Nikiforov.

"Yuri!" Victor walked off of the path and made a beeline towards Yuri. Yuri hurried to put his book away. Victor was in a black pea coat and a beanie. The beanie covered all of his hair, but Yuri was able to distinguish his walk from everyone else's. His walk was somewhat like a runway model's except there wasn't any exaggerated hip movements. That is to say, his walk was a graceful sway. "Hey!" Victor sat next to Yuri on the bench and smiled. "How are you?"

"Tired," Yuri said. He was clutching the note in his pocket. "I don't understand why this time. I went to bed at a reasonable time for once."

"I'm glad you slept," Victor said with a smile.

"How are you?" Yuri asked.

"Excited for tomorrow." Two students walked towards the bench and Victor moved closer to Yuri. "Are you excited?" Yuri nodded. "I'm glad." Victor was a smiling mess today. Yuri decided to give Victor the note now rather than later.

"I have something for you." Victor's face lit up. "Give me your hand." Victor gave Yuri his right hand and Yuri timidly placed the note in Victor's hand. "It's a note." Victor was grinning. "You have already given me so many notes, I wanted to give you one in return." Victor started to open the note. "Are you going to read it now?" Victor nodded.

"I only gave you thirteen notes." Yuri made a face. Victor nodded and took a note out of his pocket and placed it in Yuri's hand. "That makes it fourteen." Victor grinned. Yuri put his new note in his pocket and looked at Victor as he read the Bukowski note. Victor reached for Yuri's hand and held it as he read.

"There is a place in the heart that will never be filled…" Yuri said.

"And we will wait and wait in that space," Victor finished. "I've never thought that you would like Bukowski," Victor said. "What gave you the idea to give me a note?" Victor moved closer to give the two people next to them space. Yuri placed his bookbag between his legs to give Victor more space.

"You've given me fourteen already. I thought that I should give you one, too." Victor smiled. "So I thought of all the poets I like and decided to give you a Bukowski one." Victor wrapped his arm around Yuri's waist. Yuri felt his face heat up.

"Wait until you see what I give you tomorrow," Victor muttered. "You're going to like it." Yuri's face warmed more. "I can feel it." Yuri was silent and he placed his head on Victor's chest. "Are you okay?"

"My heart is threatening to come out of my mouth, Victor," Yuri said.

"I don't think that's biologically possible, love," Victor said. "I'm going to take a picture, hold on."

"Is this for Chris?" Victor told him who it was for him. "Should I look do this?" Yuri wrapped his arms around Victor's waist and looked towards the camera and smiled.

"Perfect," Victor said. He took the selfie and sent it to Chris. "I'll let you know what he says." Yuri let go of Victor and sat up. Victor, however, didn't let go of Yuri. Instead, he held Yuri tighter and let his nose touch his ear. "I can resist anything except temptation." Yuri had written that quote in his sketchbook. What else was Victor going to say to him that he had written?

"Likewise," Yuri said. "We have a date tomorrow."

"We do."

"Try not to yield to temptation until tomorrow then."

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it," Victor muttered. "And that's exactly what I plan to do tomorrow." Victor grinned. Yuri felt Victor's phone buzz in his pocket. "Hold on." Victor looked at his phone. "Chris just sent heart emojis and crying emojis."

"Is that a good thing?"

"If being so speechless and overjoyed that you give up on using words is considered a good thing, yes," Victor said. "He's going to want to call me later."

"I could imagine."

"Do you have to get ready for practice? I'll walk you home." Yuri zipped his bookbag, got up, and threw it over his shoulder. He held out his hand for Victor to grab. Victor grabbed his hand and walked Yuri home.

#

 **(Thursday, 5 November 2015 – 7:15pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri wasn't focused on his routine; instead, he was thinking about that dreamy Russian guy he thinks he likes. Coach Cialdini was chastising Yuri for flubbing his jumps and loops tonight. "What's wrong with you tonight, Yuri?"

"There's a lot on my mind right now. I'm sorry."

"Could you try and get your mind off of it?" Phichit skated up to Yuri's side and threw his arm around his shoulder. "Phichit, what are you doing?"

"Yuri's been having a rough time recently. I told him not to push himself." Yuri looked at Phichit. "Let me talk to him for a bit." Coach Cialdini allowed Phichit to talk to Yuri and went to guide Masabeeh.

"Are you okay?" Yuri shrugged. "Yuri, don't do this. Not right now." Yuri looked at his skates. He doesn't remember how exactly he got off the ice. Maybe Phichit helped him off. "What's going on?" Khoudia skated off of the ice and sat by Yuri and Phichit. "Hello, Khoudia," Phichit said.

"Hello, mes lapins," she said. "What is going on?"

"Something's bothering Yuri and he doesn't know what's going on." Khoudia leaned in to get a look at Yuri's eyes. "Khoudia, what are you doing? Yuri's not going to look you in the eye. He doesn't do that." Khoudia gave up and took a sip of her water.

"Does it involve that guy Yuri likes?" Khoudia asked. She took another sip of water.

"Why would Yuri flub his jumps over him?" Phichit asked Khoudia. "They're going on a date tomorrow and Yuri has nothing to worry about." Yuri was looking at his fingertips. "Right, Yuri?" Yuri shrugged.

"Mon chou, if there's anything you have to say, say it now," Khoudia cajoled. "We're here for you."

"I'm kind of nervous about the date," Yuri muttered. "I know that I don't have anything to worry about, but I'm still nervous." Khoudia moved to give Yuri a hug but stopped herself. "You can give me a hug, Khoudia," Yuri said. Khoudia got up and gave Yuri a hug. "That's really it." Phichit nodded. "If there's anything else, I'll tell Phichit and he'll fill you in."

"Good. I'll get back to working on my routine," Khoudia said as she stretched. She kissed Yuri's and Phichit's forehead and gracefully skated back onto the ice.

"Will you be alright for now?" Phichit asked.

"I should be alright until we get home."

"Good," Phichit said. "Now, let's get you back on the ice."

#

 **(Thursday, 5 November 2015 – 9:29pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Now, what's going on?" Phichit asked. Yuri sat on the sofa with his small thing of coconut rice and aloe water. He was almost finished with his rice. "There's more going on that you haven't told Khoudia and me." Yuri nodded.

"Earlier I was thinking about how I can't tell anyone back home about my date with Victor," Yuri said. "Even if it wasn't with Victor – if it was a regular guy – I wouldn't be able to tell them. They just won't get it." Phichit nodded.

"Then don't tell them."

"Then I realized that I'd have to basically sneak around and hide the status of my relationship with Victor. I don't want that." Phichit nodded. "And Victor and I had an interaction today that confuses me."

"What happened?"

"We were talking using Oscar Wilde quotes, but I don't think we were talking about Oscar Wilde quotes." Phichit was silent. "He said 'I can resist anything except temptation' and 'The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.'"

"I don't understand these references," Phichit said. He yawned. "What were you two doing when he said those things?"

"Let me get the picture."

 _ **: Can you send me that picture you took today?**_  
 _ **Victor: Sure.**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_

"Here." Yuri showed the picture to Phichit and finished his rice. Phichit was silent. "He sent that picture to Christophe," Yuri said after he swallowed his last spoon.

"That… Yuri, Victor likes you," Phichit said. "You can't deny it at this point." He wiped his eyes and took Yuri's phone.

"That's all well and good, I suppose, but I'm not sure what that means for tomorrow," Yuri said. "We talked about yielding to temptation and being weak to the flesh, but I'm not sure if I should do anything special for tomorrow." Phichit yawned. "Sorry if I'm boring you."

"You're not boring me. I'm just trying to figure out what exactly I should say." Yuri nodded. He waited for Phichit to respond. "I'm sending myself this photo, though," Phichit said. Then his phone buzzed. "There we go." Phichit didn't give Yuri his phone back. Instead, he went through his chat log with Victor and sent himself all of the photos.

"What are you doing?"

"Indulging myself," Phichit said. "I want all of these pictures."

"Fudanshi," Yuri called Phichit. Phichit shrugged. "You don't even care anymore do you?"

"Not in the slightest. If I'm a fudanshi, I'm a fudanshi." Phichit gave Yuri his phone back. "If anything happens on your date tomorrow, I want you to be safe," Phichit said. "And let me know if he tries anything funny that you don't like."

"What are you going to do? You're like ten."

"I am twelve, Yuri. Fix your facts." Yuri chuckled. "And I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'll think of something if I have to." Phichit smiled. "You should go to bed. You don't want puffy eyes when you go out tomorrow." Phichit was insistent on Yuri going to bed. He had already showered and eaten.

"I wanted to watch Sense8 with you, though," Yuri said.

"You are such a liar." Yuri shrugged and placed his container and aloe water in the fridge. "Plus, I wasn't going to watch Sense8 tonight. I was going to go to bed." Phichit snapped his fingers. "Now come on. Let's get some shut-eye." Yuri followed Phichit into their room and went to bed.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I've been waiting for Octopimp to post episode two of Yaoi on the Rocks for a while now and I've been watching 50% Off to stave off the desire to rewatch episode one of Yaoi on the Rocks. And that hasn't been helping so I decided to rewatch Free. All of it. Every single episode.


	34. Chapter 34

Ryuugazaki: The chapter in which Yuri and Victor go on their date. (Finally.)

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Four  
 **(Friday, 6 November 2015 – 5:39pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

The Cup of China begins tonight. Yuri initially planned to watch it with Phichit, but then he remembered that he has a date with Victor. Phichit picked out Yuri's clothes and insisted that he had to dress to (figuratively) kill tonight. Yuri went into the kitchen and got the box of _wagashi_ he had made for tonight. He was getting cold feet.

"Phichit, I feel ridiculous," Yuri said as he went into the living room and put the box of _wagashi_ on the coffee table.

"But you don't look ridiculous," Phichit said. "You look very lovely. And if Khoudia was here, I'm sure she would say that you look very lovely, too." Right now, Yuri would rather be going out with Khoudia. There's a taste in Yuri's mouth right now. It tastes like nickels and bile and Satan's ejaculate. At least he wouldn't have that taste in his mouth with Khoudia.

"What if Victor is just wearing regular clothes and I overdressed for nothing?" Yuri asked.

"Well then he can't say that you don't look good." Phichit was beaming. He was happy about the outfit choice he made for Yuri. He put Yuri in a pair of charcoal grey dress pants and plum colored dress shirt. Yuri tried various elaborate physical stims in his clothes to try and make himself comfortable in his dress clothes. "Ma poupée, are you feeling anxious?"

"Very much. I wish I had never said yes."

"Come on now, don't say that. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity," Phichit said as he yawned. "If I had the opportunity to go on a date with Jay Park and I said 'I wish I didn't have this opportunity,' you would take custody of my hamsters until I get my head on straight." Phichit's ultimate male bias is Jay Park. "You are going to go on your date with your celebrity crush and I am going to sit here and wish that I had a date with Jay Park." Yuri looked at Phichit. "Now sit down before you get your clothes wrinkled from your fidgeting." Yuri yielded to Phichit and sat down.

"I kind of wish we'd go to a restaurant. I want to try this Cajun place," Yuri said as he put his head on Phichit's shoulder. "One of my old dorm mates got this Doberge cake from there and it was really good." Phichit nodded. Yuri didn't often bring up his dorm days, but, when he did, he had stories. A lot of stories. "I've heard that Cajun food is really good." Phichit rested his head on Yuri's head.

"Victor said he's coming to get you, right?" Phichit asked.

"He said he'd be here by 6pm." Yuri threw his arm around Phichit's shoulder and Phichit cuddled up to him.

"Mon lapin," Yuri muttered.

"Ma poupée," Phichit said as he started to doze off in Yuri's embrace. "It's 5:45pm now," Yuri thought. Victor rang their bell and Phichit shot up. He's early. "Phichit, calm down." Phichit answered the door. He was at Victor's chest. Yuri grabbed his bag and the box of _wagashi_ and rose to his feet.

"Hello!" Phichit squeaked.

"Are you Yuri's roommate?" Phichit nodded. "Ah, you're even shorter than I expected." Yuri stood behind Phichit and lovingly put his hand on his shoulder. "Hi, Yuri." Yuri smiled. Victor was in black dress pants and a stone blue dress shirt. "Ah, at least he is also dressed up," Yuri thought.

"Hello, Victor."

"Your roommate is adorable."

"Yeah, I know." Yuri stroked Phichit's shoulder gently. "Je l'aime," Yuri attempted to say in French. Victor nodded, seeming to understand. Phichit grinned. "We should get going."

"Right, right!" Phichit stepped from in between the two and pushed Yuri closer to Victor. They were chest to chest now. "I'll let you two get going. Behave yourselves!" Phichit hugged Yuri from behind and closed the door. Yuri sheepishly grinned.

"That was my roommate," Yuri said. "He's like that." He chuckled. "We're going to the aquarium first, right?" Victor nodded and held out his hand for Yuri. Yuri grabbed it and they walked down the stairs. Victor squeezed Yuri's hand and grinned.

"I see you have your bag," Victor said they walked down the street. "Is your sketchbook in there?" Yuri nodded. "This is kind of unrelated, but did I do something that made you stop responding to me?" Yuri looked over at Victor. "You just intermittently stopped responding to my messages for a few weeks." They stopped at a light.

"You didn't do anything," Yuri said. Yuri and Victor got stares from a passing family. "But you didn't do anything to me. I was just… I don't know. I've just been out of it." Out of it was an understatement, but that's all he can really say.

"Just had to make sure," Victor said. "What's in the box?"

"I made desserts, remember?" Victor grinned. "I think you're going to like them."

"I'm sure I'm going to."

#

 **(Friday, 6 November 2015 – 7:15pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

The aquarium was amazing. Yuri was able to sketch a Siamese fighting fish and a Pacific sea nettle before the aquarium closed. It was so beautiful and Yuri felt like he wanted to color the fish and the sea nettle in. He was thinking that watercolors would do them justice. Now they were on the bus, going to Victor's place for dinner. Victor was holding the box with care as Yuri fumbled around in his bag.

"Did you have fun?" Victor asked. Yuri nodded. "I liked the sea turtles." Yuri smiled. "Aside from the fighting fish, what did you enjoy?"

"I really liked the Giant Pacific octopus," Yuri gushed. "The tentacles on the on the one in the aquarium were amazing." He grinned. "A true work of art. I can see why Hokusai drew them with the _ama_."

"What's an _ama_?"

"An _ama_ is a deep sea diver," Yuri explained. "Have I showed you The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife?" Victor shook his head. "You need to see The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife." Yuri had searched for the photo and showed it to Victor. "That's a woodblock portrait made by Hokusai." Victor nodded. "So? What do you think?"

"Is that what you were drawing?" Yuri looked at Victor. "In September. I tried to look at what you were drawing and you told me not to do that." Yuri nodded. "Fascinating. So are drawings like that – the ones you do – are they normal for you?"

"Like I've said, I draw what my heart wants."

"And what does your heart want right now?" Victor asked. He was looking down at Yuri, waiting for him to respond. He never got that response. "Hm," Victor said. Victor put his arm around Yuri and moved closer.

"I'm thinking of the sea nettle. It was so beautiful," Yuri had muttered. Victor smiled reflectively.

"It was lovely." Victor snapped his fingers. "Oh! You're not allergic to anything, are you?" Yuri shook his head. "Good," Victor had said.

"I didn't ask you, but how were the other skaters?" Yuri asked. "I'm sure you have other friends aside from Christophe."

"Well, I saw Georgi. He's doing fine." Yuri nodded. "He has a girlfriend. His theme was newfound love this year." Yuri smiled. "His costume is very flamboyant. I like the theatrical side of him." Victor shrugged. "Who else did I see?" Victor asked himself. "Oh, I saw Jean Leroy." Yuri nodded. "He's still annoying."

"Still?"

"Still." Victor shrugged. "Our stop is next." Victor got up and held his hand out towards Yuri. Yuri followed him to an exit and stood at his shoulder. "I hope you like film because I'm hoping that we can watch a few movies."

"What movies did you have in mind?"

"The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, Nosferatu, and I Killed My Mother." Yuri nodded. "I've also been meaning to watch a Studio Ghibli movie, but I don't know which one." Yuri grinned. Victor looked at him grinning and smiling. "Do you have any suggestions?"

"Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away are my top two," Yuri said.

"What's Spirited Away about?"

"A girl and her parents visit the spirit world and the parents get turned into pigs," Yuri said. They got off of the bus and started walking. Yuri held out his hand and Victor grabbed it. He just wanted his box. "I liked it."

"Have you heard of Grave of the Fireflies? What's that one about?" Yuri fell silent.

"I would rather not discuss Grave of the Fireflies," Yuri muttered. "Just know that it's… it's really sad."

"I see," Victor said. "So I suppose we'll be watching Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away." Victor smiled. "I'm so excited." They stopped at a light. "You've heard of Don Hertzfeldt, right?"

"He's the person who made the Rejected short, right?" Victor nodded. "I really like that short."

"Do you want to watch It's Such a Beautiful Day?" Victor asked. "It's an hour long and it's dreamlike." Yuri waited for Victor to continue. "Or we can watch World of Tomorrow."

"Going by the names alone, both of them sound interesting. How long is World of Tomorrow?"

"About fifteen minutes," Victor said. The light changed and they walked. "But there's so much in those fifteen minutes. I think you'd like it." Yuri nodded. "It was here on the moon I fell in love with a rock," Victor said.

"Is that from a Hertzfeldt animation?"

"Yes," Victor said. "You'll see where I got it from when we start watching movies."

"What did you make for dinner?" Yuri asked. Victor told Yuri what he has planned. He felt his stomach stir. It sounded like a lot of food for Yuri and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to eat all of that. It sounded great, sure, but could Yuri stomach that? Could he eat comfortably with someone new? The situation was anxiety provoking and Yuri didn't bring his Xanax.

#

 **(Friday, 6 November 2015 –** **9:29pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

From what Yuri could see, Victor has a nice apartment. Its main colors were ivory, grey, and charcoal; the accent colors were shades of blue with lime green. Or was it chartreuse? Yuri couldn't tell the difference between lime green and chartreuse. His phone buzzed. Yuri checked; it was Khoudia.

 _ **Khoudia: How's your date going, mon beau?**_

Yuri wanted to respond but he also wanted to give Victor his undivided attention. He made a mental note to respond to her texts when he had the chance. "What are you looking at?"

"A friend just texted me." Victor nodded.

"Aren't you going to respond?" Yuri took out his phone and looked at Khoudia's text.

 _ **: It's going well. We're going to have dinner soon.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Ah! I'm glad your date is going well!**_

"I responded," Yuri said. Victor was taking off his coat while Yuri took off his shoes.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking off my shoes," Yuri said. It sounded like he was unsure of his own actions. Which he wasn't. He was very certain of this concrete action of his. Victor nodded. "Do Russians not take off their shoes when they enter a house?"

"We do, but you haven't taken off your coat yet," Victor said. "But don't let me stop you. You were already halfway done. Yuri continued taking off his shoes. Phichit did a very good job at tying his shoes tonight. Yuri got up and took off his coat. He hung up his bag with his coat. Victor started to take off his shoes, too. "How are you feeling right now?"

"Good," Yuri said. Victor smiled. Yuri stood in his spot and waited for Victor to finish taking off his shoes. He has no clue what he should be doing right now. Right now he wished he had discussed what he should do in situations like these with Phichit before he left. Then Yuri noticed that Victor has a fuzzy pair of grey and white slippers by the door. Victor went into this small closet by the door and took out a pair of slippers for Yuri to put on.

"You look like you're in thought." Yuri shrugged. "Did your roommate pick out your clothes this time?"

"He did. He insisted on it." Victor smiled. "I couldn't stop him," Yuri said. Victor set the box of _wagashi_ on the coffee table and went into the kitchen. Yuri remained standing by the door. After a few minutes, Victor poked his head from out of the kitchen.

"Yuri, you can have a seat," Victor told him.

"Do you need help in there?"

"I'm fine. Just sit down." Yuri took a seat on the sofa. He just looked at his hands. After a while, Yuri was hyper-fixated on his hands. So much so that he didn't hear Victor come into the living room. Victor didn't say anything; instead, he just stood over Yuri, watching him watch his hands.

"Why are you watching me?"

"I like looking at you. It's enlightening."

"I don't see what you can learn from me just by observing me, but okay," Yuri muttered. "How's the food coming along?"

"A few more minutes and it should be done." Yuri nodded. Victor sat next to Yuri and turned towards him. He was smiling. He took deep breaths and Yuri just looked at him as he did it. "Do you want to say something?" Yuri shook his head. "You're really quiet." Yuri nodded. "Oh! Who was that friend that you texted?"

"Khadijah," Yuri said, saying the Arabic form of Khoudia's name. Khoudia would default to "Khadijah" when meeting new people or when she didn't feel like repeating her name several times; Yuri only called her "Khadijah" when he needed her attention, wanted to bother her, or, in this case, wanted to make talking about her easier. Victor nodded. "She was just asking how my date was going."

"Does she know that you're with me?"

"With you or with _you_?" Yuri said. "Because if you mean with you, then yes. But if you mean with _you_ , no." Victor nodded.

"What's the difference?"

"She knows I'm out with a person, but she doesn't know that that person is you." Victor nodded.

"Is Khadijah nice? Do you like her?" Yuri smiled at the way Victor said "Khadijah." It sounds different coming from him.

"Khadijah is an absolute joy," Yuri said. He didn't know what else he could say about Khoudia that would convey how much she absolutely mesmerized him. Perhaps Khoudia was just someone that needed to be experienced rather than described, explained. That's the only thing Yuri could think of that could explain why he couldn't verbalize the way Khoudia is. "Yes, an absolute joy."

"Were you going to say something else?"

"I was trying to find words I could use to describe Khadijah, but I can't." Yuri looked at his slightly trembling hands. "So I suppose that I'll stick with 'absolute joy.'"

"I see… And she's okay with you being here?" Yuri wasn't exactly sure what Victor was implying here. Why would Khoudia have a problem with Yuri being here? She knows he's on a date; she's _happy_ that he's on a date.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" Yuri said.

"But she's –"

"– fine with me being here, knows I am here and is happy for me," Yuri said. The mood of the room went south just like Yuri's mood. He was confused – more so – and didn't have a grasp on what was going on. It's one of those conversations where you feel like there's an underlying meaning and you're talking about something innocuous in public. Except that there _is_ no public and that, usually, everyone has an idea of what is actually being discussed.

The mood didn't dissipate after Victor dropped the conversation. It was pervasive. It permeated and tainted the food they ate, the movies they watched, and the other interactions they've had. Right now, Yuri would like nothing more than to have a lovely, intimate sob in his bathroom in the apartment he shared with his best friend and precious cinnamon roll.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: My friend Haru Nanase is posting their companion fic to 36 Views and it'd be super cool if y'all can go be nice and read it! It's called "Body of a Silver Sea: Thirty-Six Views of Mount Fuji"!

I will warn y'all that they are not a writer and I kinda peer pressured them into it because I was thirsting over a companion fic that started out as a "lmao let me gone do this to quell my need to make a bad decision."

So check it out and be nice. For my sake ((heart emojis))


	35. Chapter 35

Ryuugazaki: Y'all know I'm probably going to go watch Howl's Moving Castle and run my blood sugar up after I post this, right?

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Five  
 **(Saturday, 7 November 2015 – 8:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

The urge to cry subsided and Yuri was finally back in familiar territory. He unlocked the door and Phichit was sleeping on the sofa. He gently prodded his roommate awake. "Did you get my call last night?" Phichit nodded. "Did you sleep here all night?" Phichit nodded again. "I'm sorry."

"What were you doing that kept you out all night?"

"Victor and I watched some movies," Yuri said. Phichit was still half-asleep. "We watched Princess Mononoke and that really appealed to me and my Studio Ghibli otaku ways." Phichit yawned. "I also really like Canadian LGBT films now." Phichit nodded. "I'm going to go brush the taste of Satan's ejaculate out of my mouth. I'll talk to you when you finish waking up." Phichit nodded again and laid back down. Yuri walked into the bathroom and started to brush his teeth.

"Wait!" Phichit staggered towards the bathroom. "What were you doing with Victor last night?" Phichit leaned on the door frame; Yuri held up his index finger as he brushed his teeth. Yuri finished and rinsed.

"As you were saying."

"What did you say you were doing with Victor last night?"

"We watched a bunch of movies together." Yuri wiped his face. "Should I go back and repeat everything I said when you were asleep?" Phichit nodded. "Well, we went to the aquarium – I should show you the sketches I made, by the way – and then we went to Victor's for dinner." Phichit nodded. "We ate and then we watched movies together." Phichit nodded. "We watched Studio Ghibli movies and queer Quebecois movies. We also watched art house movies from the twenties. It was nice." Yuri rinsed his toothbrush again and put it in the cup.

"And _all_ you two did… was eat dinner and watch movies." Yuri nodded, picked up Phichit, and placed him on his bed. "Ah! Don't coddle me!" Yuri sat on Phichit's bedside.

"You were sleeping on the sofa last night. I know you're small, but that's uncomfortable for anyone." Phichit whined. "Also, I have pictures." Yuri gave his phone to Phichit and Phichit scrolled through Yuri's photos. Phichit was frantically patting Yuri's shoulder.

"Boyfriends!"

"He's not my boyfriend," Yuri retorted. "Plus, _we_ take pictures like that." Phichit shrugged. Yuri's phone buzzed. It's Victor. Victor got a hold of Yuri's phone last night and changed his buzzes. "Victor did that last night."

 _ **Victor: Home yet?**_  
 _ **: Got in a few minutes ago.**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm glad ((sparkling heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Victor: Last night was fun. We should do that again.**_

Yuri suggested that they get off of the topic of Victor and, instead, focus on preparing their home for Khoudia. She wanted to watch the Cup of China with them. Partially because she wanted to get away from her family for a bit and partially because she genuinely wanted to watch the Cup of China events.

#

 **(Saturday, 7 November 2015 – 6:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"To think that you'll be the Trophée Éric Bompard in a few weeks!" Khoudia said. She put her bookbag in the corner; they all agreed on a sleepover. How Khoudia managed to get her parents to agree to that was amazing. Khoudia was at Skate America a few weeks ago; she's going to be at the Rostelecom Cup with Yuri. "Yuri, mon chouchou, you're going to _love_ it." She was beaming. Phichit sat in between Khoudia and Yuri.

"Yuri, are you going to be able to sit through the entire thing tonight?" Yuri nodded. "Alright, mon poupée," Phichit said as he squeezed Yuri. Khoudia snapped a flick of the two.

"That's going on my Instagram!" Khoudia giggled. "You two are so cute together!"

"What about Yuri's boyfriend?" Phichit said.

Khoudia gasped and said, "He's your boyfriend now?!" Khoudia started babbling in English and French, trying to get out all of the questions she has about Yuri's "boyfriend" out into the air and onto the table.

"I do _not_. He is _not_ my boyfriend." Yuri managed to get out.

"Okay but you spent the night with him," Phichit said. Khoudia put her hand over her mouth. "And he's said that he likes and misses you. Multiple times."

"And Khoudia's spending the night with us tonight and she calls us 'ma foi' and 'ma raison d'être,'" Yuri pointed out. Phichit looked at Yuri; Yuri returned the look. "Let's look at figure skaters."

"You're so embarrassed," Khoudia gushed. "It's so cute. You have to show me his picture later." Khoudia giggled. "But yes, let us look at figure skaters being extra. This is what we have come together to do tonight."

 _ **Victor: Are you watching the Cup of China?**_  
 _ **: Yeah. I'm with my roommate and our friend.**_  
 _ **Victor: Aah! Tell your roommate I say "hello!"**_  
 _ **Victor: And the same to your friend, too, I guess idk idk**_

So Khoudia, Phichit, and Yuri watched the skaters skate. So far, only two people have managed to hurt themselves this season: one broken leg and one sprained ankle. "It's still early on," Khoudia said, "there can be more injuries." And Yuri was able to sit through all of the events tonight.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Atelerix, Yuri and Phichit initially started using French pet names for each other to help Yuri with his French. But eventually it became less about helping Yuri with his French and more about letting the entire world know how close they are. And they're close.

 _Really_ close.

Also, I'm watching Ponyo instead of Howl's Moving Castle. Ponyo came through and fucked her dad's shit up and it was an adventure.


	36. Chapter 36

Ryuugazaki: In a perfect world, this fanfic would be ending in this chapter.

Also, I finished Ponyo and I started crying. What the hell is my life, man.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Six  
 **(Sunday, 8 November 2015 – 10:40am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri, Khoudia, and Phichit decided to go out for breakfast. They decided on a tea house-café in downtown Detroit. Yuri was bringing his bag and Khoudia had asked if she can keep her meter and medicine in there. Yuri made no objections.

"You still haven't shown me the picture of the guy you're dating," she said as she opened the door to the tea house.

"We're not dating. He's just a friend."

"Okay, the guy you're talking to, then," she said. Phichit directed them to the back of the tea house and they sat at a table. Someone came out to give them menus.

"We don't even talk."

"Yes you do," Phichit said. "A few days ago you told me about your Oscar Wilde conversation."

"I doubt that we were talking about Oscar Wilde that day," Yuri said. "Khoudia, back me up here." Khoudia didn't hear what Yuri said. She was looking at her menu.

"Khoudia, ignore him," Phichit said.

"Ignore what?" She said as she turned the page. "I'm trying to figure out what tea I want. So far, I'm torn between pearl jasmine and apple cinnamon. What do y'all think?"

"I'd pick jasmine," Yuri said.

"Yeah, same," Phichit said. "I'm getting sencha. What about you?"

"Either matcha or hot cinnamon spice," Yuri said as he turned the page of his menu. "I'm getting scones. Khoudia, get scones."

"What if I don't want scones?"

"Don't care. Get scones." Khoudia rolled her eyes.

"Are you going to make Phichit get scones?" Yuri shook his head. Then he looked at Khoudia. He was smiling now. "Phichit, are you going to let him tell me to get scones?"

"Khoudia, just get the scones." She made a face that made Yuri laugh.

"Fine. I'll get them. Now, about this boy," she said.

"Nothing about him." Yuri closed his menu. "I've decided on matcha." He put his hands in his lap.

"I kind of want macarons," Phichit said. "Yeah, I'm getting macarons." He was thinking out loud. "Yuri, what kind should I get?"

"I suggest rose lychee. It tastes like roses." Khoudia looked at Yuri strange after he said that. Phichit wasn't bothered in the slightest.

"Mon poussin, why do you know what roses taste like?"

"Why don't _you_?" Yuri retorted. A waitress came out and took their orders and they made conversation as they waited for their tea.

#

 **(Sunday, 8 November 2015 – 6:50pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Has your partner texted you today?" Khoudia asked. She was sitting on the extreme right end of the sofa. Yuri was on the left. Phichit was in between them.

"He's not— never mind," Yuri said. "And I don't know. I don't check my phone when I'm with you two."

"Check!" Khoudia was beaming. Yuri grabbed his phone and checked it. No texts. He put his phone back down. "Anything new?"

 _ **Victor: I miss _yoou_** **uu**_  
 _ ** _:_ We saw each other literally hours ago**_  
 _ **Victor: I know, but still.**_

"Nothing," he said. "It's no big deal." He shrugged and stretched his legs.

"What was his last message?" Phichit asked. He placed his head in Khoudia's lap and his legs in Yuri's.

"'I know, but still.'" Yuri yawned. Khoudia was putting her hair into a puff.

"Reply to him," Phichit said.

"There's nothing for me to reply to."

"Then start a new conversation," Khoudia said as she was gathering her hair together. Khoudia has a lot of hair and Yuri never took the time to actually notice that.

"Why are we even friends? Why am I with you nerds?" Yuri chuckled.

"Well, we're friends because you called me cute and wanted to get away from your dorm mates," Phichit said. "You and Khoudia are friends because you accidentally knocked her over on her first day at Wayne and offered to buy her a coffee."

"By the way, what were you running from when we first met?" Khoudia asked.

"I was trying to avoid someone." Yuri grabbed his phone. "I saw them and I took off running." Khoudia chuckled. "Are you still mad at me for knocking you over?"

"Not anymore," she said. She reached over and touched Yuri's bicep and laughed. "It's kind of a funny story when you think about it." Khoudia chuckled. "And then, like days later, we encountered each other at the rink and you proceeded to kind of ignore me."

"If you think he was ignoring you, he probably wasn't ignoring you intentionally," Phichit said. "He just sucks at talking to people and it takes him a while to warm up to you."

"Yuri warmed up to you rather quickly, though," Khoudia pointed out.

"Not true," Phichit stated. "He didn't say much to me for months after we became roommates. Which is weird because we share a room. You would think that he would be a lot more open with me considering that we share a room." Yuri looked at Phichit; he was staring up at the ceiling. "I was floored the first time he spoke more than five words to me."

"Ah, but he was very protective over you during practice."

"Khoudia, I think we're talking about two different people right now."

"Let's see. We're talking about Yuri Katsuki, the autistic art major who doesn't talk much unless it's about art, right?" Phichit nodded. "We're discussing the same person."

"Maybe I just don't understand how you see 'doesn't talk much and protective' while I see 'ignores my entire existence' in Yuri's actions."

"Are you two going to keep talking about me like I'm not here?" Yuri asked. "I may be autistic, but I can still hear and understand you two very well."

"We know you're here, ma raison d'être. You just didn't say anything," Khoudia said. "Would you care to shed light on what we're discussing? Or should we just continue?"

"I mean, you two can continue if you want."

"Speaking of you and your poor conversational skills," Phichit started, "if you want to maintain his interest, you should probably start acting like you actually want him."

"What?" Yuri was, metaphorically speaking, all ears. What wisdom could Phichit impart tonight?

"If you want Victor to maintain his interest in you, act like you want him," Phichit said.

"What does this have to do with my conversational skills?" Yuri asked. He wasn't seeing the point.

"You need to talk to him, first of all," Khoudia said. "Second of all, ask about him. Guys love talking about themselves." Yuri and Phichit looked at Khoudia. "Okay, maybe you two don't. Or maybe I've just met a lot of egocentric guys." She shrugged. "Also, his name is Victor?" Yuri nodded. "Just like Victor Nikiforov," she said, giggling. Yuri stayed silent. "Imagine if it was Victor Nikiforov you were going out with." Yuri looked away and Phichit turned towards the television.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," Phichit said and left the living room.

"That was sudden," Khoudia said. Yuri felt his face get warm. "Are you okay?" Khoudia moved closer to Yuri to brush his hair out of his face. "Your forehead is really warm. Kind of weird to be getting all hot under the collar over your celebrity crush."

"It's just… I kind of am talking to my celebrity crush," Yuri muttered. Khoudia stopped stroking Yuri's forehead and didn't move. "Are you okay, Khoudia?"

"So you're _really_ talking to him?" Yuri showed Khoudia the selfie of them that he was supposed to draw. She fell silent.

"That's Victor Nikiforov in the flesh," Yuri muttered. "I see him a few times a week and we go to the museum together."

"And you were with him on Friday?" Yuri nodded. "Hm," Khoudia said. She was absolutely speechless. She removed her hand from Yuri's forehead and was motionless next to him. Phichit came back from the bathroom and sat in front of Khoudia and Yuri.

"Yuri, why does it look like Khoudia just a glass vase thrown in her face?" Phichit stretched his arms.

"Neither of you told me that Yuri was talking to Victor Nikiforov," she muttered. "I was just joking earlier. I didn't know this." She took deep breaths. "Yuri, you know that now you have to work harder to keep him."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Yuri said.

"You will, in time." Yuri shrugged. "Sate my curiosity and tell me this, how does he make you feel?" Phichit sat at Khoudia's side.

"The words 'vulnerable' and 'bothered' come to mind," Yuri said. "Shouldn't we be watching figure skaters skate?"

"Why should we? No one we care about is there."

"Shouldn't we, you know, scope out the competition? We _are_ competing in events," Yuri pointed out.

"We have the internet for that," Khoudia said. "Now, why does Victor make you feel 'bothered'?" She was kind of back to her normal self – her normal, motherly, goofy self.

"I don't know why. I can't even explain it to Luzia."

"So Luzia knows?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded. "I feel like you two intentionally left me out of the loop now."

"Khoudia, ma petite sirène," Yuri said as he threw his arm around her. "I would never intentionally leave you out of something. You're simply too precious to me that I would intentionally try to hurt you. Phichit only knows because he read my texts with him."

"Plus, you use people's full names for their contact name." Yuri pointed at Phichit after he said that. "And I had Yuri describe him to me." Khoudia looked over at Phichit. "But that doesn't change the fact that I was privy to this long before you."

"My feelings are genuinely hurting right now." Yuri gave Khoudia a hug. "I don't know if a hug is going to make this okay." Yuri let go of Khoudia. "Don't let me go though. Keep your hands on me." Yuri spread his arms open and enveloped Khoudia in his embrace. "Thank you."

"Now, let's watch camp figure skating performances," Yuri suggested. And they did just that.

#

 **(Monday, 9 November 2015 –** **4:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri," Khoudia said as she gently shook him awake. "Yuri!"

"Yeah?" Yuri turned on his light and rubbed his eyes. Phichit was fast asleep in Yuri's arms. "What happened?"

"I'm getting ready now. You should get ready, too." Yuri nodded. He agreed to take Khoudia home so she can get ready for her classes. Yuri buried his face in the crook of Phichit's neck and tried to go back to sleep. Khoudia shook him again.

"What?"

"Start getting ready. You have to take me home." Yuri nodded. "It'd be nice if you can get out of bed and take your shower." Yuri nodded. "I will drag you out of this bed, so help me, Yuri Katsuki."

"Fine, fine. I'll get up," Yuri muttered. He let go of Phichit and dragged himself out of bed. He gathered his underwear, t-shirt, and slippers and went to the bathroom to shower. He kept thinking of the phrases "the more I disappear" and "As surely as the blade's course is run / Maybe my kingdom's finally come". He didn't have a problem with either of these phrases, but he did wish that they could _not_ bother him when he's trying to take a shower.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Ponyo is such a good movie, man.


	37. Chapter 37

Ryuugazaki: I was going to post this yesteday, but I was out for a while and came back exhausted. So here you go!

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Seven  
 **(Monday, 9 November 2015 – 5:40pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri's event starts on Friday. He's let his professors know that he'd be out until next week. He wrote down all the things he needed to do before he left in his journal. So far, he has to: see Luzia and Noêmia, pack his medicine, pack his clothes, equipment, and costumes, and figure out what he's going to tell Victor. Phichit has been helping out when he can, but he doesn't want to disturb him when he's working. Their room was in an uproar and Yuri couldn't control any of it. The packing soon started to trigger his anxiety. So much so that he started crying.

Phichit came into the room and sat across from Yuri. "Do you need help with packing?" Yuri didn't say anything between his sobs. "I'll help you pack your clothes. I'll leave you to your medicine." Phichit silently took out underclothes for Yuri, folded them, and lovingly put them into his suitcase. Once Yuri stopped crying, he got up and started to sort his medicine. "Are you feeling better now?" Phichit stopped folding and looked at Yuri. He was nodding. "You're not going to talk very much for the rest of the night, are you?" Yuri shrugged. "Hm," Phichit said and resumed folding and packing. Once Phichit was done with Yuri's underclothes, he went on to his regular clothes – his shirts, pants, and things.

"You don't need to help me," Yuri muttered. Phichit turned to face him and looked.

"You need me to help you," Phichit said. "If me helping you means that your meltdowns will stop, I'll help you." Phichit folded the shirt in his hands. "I don't mind helping you."

"I don't want you to baby me," Yuri said. He put the cap back on his Lexapro and Zyprexa.

"I'm not babying you." Yuri looked up at Phichit from his seat. "How often must I say that I do this because you're my friend and I care for you?" Phichit placed the shirt in his suitcase and reached for another one. "I'm going to do this for you, ma poupée." Phichit looked for pants. "How many pairs of pants do you want and what texture are you hoping for?"

"I'll pick out my pants," Yuri mumbled. Phichit nodded and went to get socks for Yuri.

"How many pairs of shoes are you going to bring with you?"

"I don't know."

"Are you going to wear your Docs?" Yuri nodded. "Okay, I'll set aside your Docs." Yuri was silent. "Are you going to wear your sneakers?" Yuri nodded. "I'll set aside your sneakers, too."

"Thank you."

"Are you going to see Luzia and Noêmia tomorrow?" Yuri nodded. "Are you going to wear your sneakers?"

"Docs." Phichit nodded.

"Do you need me to pick out your clothes for tomorrow?" Phichit asked. Yuri was silent. "I'll pick out your clothes for tomorrow." Phichit went into the closet and took out a hoodie. "This is your Cuckoo and Azaleas hoodie. Do you want to wear that?" Yuri nodded. "Okay. I'll set that aside." Phichit took out a turtleneck. "It's supposed to be cold tomorrow. Wear this." He held it in front of Yuri. He nodded. Phichit went back to Yuri's drawer and took out a pair of harem pants. They're the apricot colored pair with koi fish and almond blossoms on them. "These pants are warmer than your other ones. Wear these." Yuri nodded. Phichit took out a pair of thick socks for Yuri. "Don't forget to wear a hat and scarf tomorrow." Yuri nodded again. "Are your gloves in your coat pocket?"

"Yes, mon canard," Yuri said.

"Good." Phichit sat at the head of Yuri's bed. Yuri looked at his medicines and at his hands. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Yeah." Phichit awaited Yuri's response. He wasn't very pleased with it when he realized that he said "throw me out the window."

"I'm not doing that," Phichit insisted. "What's bothering you?" Yuri shrugged. "You don't randomly start crying, rocking, and hyperventilating for no reason," Phichit said. Then he realized what he said. "Well, _you_ do. But that wasn't a panic attack. That was a meltdown." Phichit zipped up Yuri's suitcase and placed it in the corner. "And your meltdowns usually result from internal and/or external overstimulation. And you've been inside all day. So what's bothering you?"

"I don't know," Yuri said. He got up to put his medicine in the zip-up pouch. "I guess I'm thinking of Victor right now. Why? I don't know, but I do think that he's going to be curious about why I'm not coming to class." Yuri sat on the floor again. "Which is a rather minute thing to have an entire meltdown over."

"You're right. It is small." Yuri laid on the floor and placed his right ankle on his left knee. "Just tell him that you had to go out of town. Short and sweet."

"You don't understand, though," Yuri whined. "He asks questions. A lot of questions. What do I say when I'm questioned?"

"Personal business." Yuri nodded.

"And if he sees me competing?"

"It's still personal business," Phichit justified. "Also, even if you could tell him everything, don't you think it's kind of late for that? The season has long since begun." Yuri looked at Phichit. What is Phichit trying to say here? Yuri didn't ask him to elaborate or anything. He's still ruminating on what he said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm thinking."

"About what?"

"What you just said."

"All I'm trying to say is that if he asks, you say 'personal business.' And if he asks why you were participating in an event, you still say 'personal business.'" Yuri rolled his eyes. "Is my advice not helpful enough?"

"Honestly? No, but I take what I can get." Phichit threw Yuri's pillow at him. It landed on his face. "Good. Now suffocate me."

"Yuri, no," Phichit said.

"Phichit, yes."

"How many times must I tell you that you can't ask people to kill you when you're in your feelings?" Yuri shrugged. "Get off the floor now."

"Okay." Yuri sat up. He gave his pillow back to Phichit and Phichit placed it back at the head of the bed. "Are we still going out to dinner with the team tomorrow?" Yuri asked.

"I had forgotten that we all agreed to go out," Phichit said. "I'll pick our clothes out. You can wear what you wore for your date with Victor." Phichit went back to the closet and found Yuri's date clothes. "What do you have in your shirt pocket?" Phichit took the object out of Yuri's shirt pocket and gave it to Yuri. "Open it." Yuri opened it and quickly glanced over it. He was able to make out "Neruda" and "fire" in the poem. Then he looked at the bottom of the paper. His eyes were drawn to the words "you're soft" on the bottom.

"Victor must've snuck a note into my pocket." Phichit made a face. "Yes, Phichit?" Yuri asked.

"How did he get close enough to slip a note into your shirt pocket?" Phichit asked. He looked to be bothered by something.

"We, uh…" Yuri felt his face heat up and his insides tingle. Yuri thought about how Victor had him in his arms and whispered things in his ear. Phichit got on the floor and sat across from Yuri and looked him dead in the eyes. "I don't know how to put this." Phichit didn't break eye contact and moved closer to Yuri.

"And nothing happened, huh," Phichit said.

"Nothing happened!" Yuri exclaimed. And aside from that, nothing happened. "Really! Nothing happened except for what I said happened." Phichit was unfazed.

"Pinky swear and tell me that nothing happened." Yuri held up his pinky and so did Phichit. They locked pinkies. "Good. If I find out that something more happened, I'm shaving your head," Phichit said and got up. He went back to the closet.

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing, lapinou," Phichit looked through the closet for something to wear. "I'm stumped on what to wear. Message Camille and ask them what the dress code is like."

"Sure."

 _ **: Hey Camille. It's Yuri.**_  
 _ **Camille: Oh hey. What's up?**_  
 _ **: Phichit wants to know if formal clothes are preferred for tomorrow night.**_  
 _ **Camille: Y'all can wear formal clothes if you want.**_  
 _ **Camille: Just bring yourselves and wear clothes.**_  
 _ **Camille: That's all I want.**_  
 _ **: Thanks, Camille. See you tomorrow.**_  
 _ **Camille: No problem.**_

"What did Camille say?"

"Wear clothes." Phichit deadpanned. "They also said 'wear formal clothes if you want,' but they really stressed 'wear clothes.'" Phichit nodded and went back to work. He chose a sangria colored shirt and black dress pants.

"What do you think about this?" Phichit asked. Yuri nodded. "Are you nodding because you actually like it or are you nodding because you want me to leave you alone?"

"I like it," Yuri said. He got up and picked up Crime and Punishment. He likes it and wants to continue reading it. Yuri's phone buzzed. Yuri looked at his phone; it's just Victor. Yuri felt himself sweat a bit.

 _ **Victor: I miss you so much right now.**_

"Aren't you going to respond?" Phichit asked as he got his dress shoes out of the closet.

"It's not important, really," Yuri insisted. "Plus, you should get back to doing your homework. I'll iron our clothes later." Yuri tried to keep his focus on his book, but his insides felt like they were tingling.

 _ **Victor: So, about doing that again. I'm up for it.**_

"I know you'll iron our clothes, but don't you want to text Victor back?"

"Not really," Yuri muttered. Phichit shrugged and left their bedroom. Yuri couldn't focus on Crime and Punishment. So he went to his bookbag and took out the book Victor gave him. Victor said that he had a surprise for him and Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair was the gift. Victor said that he'd really like it and that he wants to know what Yuri thinks of it when Yuri starts to read it.

Well, Twenty Love Poems were part of it. The other part was more immaterial and more suggestive.

Yuri looked at the book as he wrote in his journal and ate Boy Bawang cornicks. After he finished writing, he opened the book and read the first lines of the second poem. "My rough peasant's body digs in you and makes the son leap from the depths of the earth." Yuri muttered. "But the hour of vengeance falls, and I love you. Body of skin, of moss, of eager and firm milk." Yuri kept reading. Then he closed the book. "That was intense," Yuri thought. He went back to writing in his journal. He's writing about what he thinks of Victor's arms and how it was to have them around him. "Maybe I should text him back," Yuri mused.

 _ **Victor: wyd rn?**_

"Oh, something normal," Yuri thought, gladly.

 _ **: I'm picking out my clothes for this dinner tomorrow.**_

Yuri closed his journal again. He can't bear to look at what he just wrote. It's going to be hell when he goes to therapy tomorrow and he has to tell Luzia about his date. How is he supposed to tell his therapist about this? Yuri is pretty bad at talking about important subjects.

Then his phone started ringing. It's Victor. "Hello?" Yuri said.

"Hey солнышко," Victor said. "How's finding clothes going?"

"Pretty well. I already know what I'm going to wear." Yuri grabbed his sketchbook and opened it. He has a myriad of new phrases to write in there. The phrases occasionally serve as art prompts; other times, Yuri just likes the phrase so much that he wants to remember it.

"I bet you'll look great." Yuri could hear Victor's smile through the phone. Then he was suddenly struck with the mood to draw. He felt like arms and chests would be the perfect thing to draw right now. That's all he could think about right now.

"How are you?" Yuri asked. He opened his sketchbook and started sketching.

"I'm fine," Victor said. "What's this dinner you're going to for?"

"It's a friend's birthday tomorrow." Victor made an inquisitive sound. "They've been planning this for months and they really want us there."

"Us?"

"My roommate and I," Yuri elaborated. "Camille is really excited for tomorrow." Yuri reached for his eraser and decided to clean up some stray lines.

"Is that your friend's name? Camille?"

"Well, they haven't told us what they want to be called yet. So, until they tell us what they want to be called, Camille said that we can continue using Camille." Yuri smiled.

 _ **Camille: I have an announcement for everyone tomorrow.**_

"And do you like Camille?" He's known Camille since they started questioning their identity and Yuri's been a silent constant in their life. Why wouldn't he like Camille? They haven't done anything to him and they're always a lovely person.

"Why wouldn't I?" Yuri asked. "They're my friend and I care for them deeply." Something rubbed against Victor's phone.

"I see." Yuri nodded. "Well, I hope Camille's birthday dinner goes well and that Camille's birthday is excellent." Yuri smiled.

"I'll be sure to tell Camille that," Yuri said.

 _ **: I can't wait for your announcement.**_  
 _ **: Also, my friend wishes you an excellent birthday.**_  
 _ **Camille: I'd tell you my news now, but I want it to be a surprise!**_  
 _ **Camille: And tell them that I say "thank you"!**_  
 _ **: I understand. Don't worry about it.**_

"How old is Camille going to be?"

"21," Yuri said. "But enough about Camille. What are you doing right now?"

"I'm reading Zami: A New Spelling of My Name. It's an autobiography by Audre Lorde." Yuri nodded. "Someone had suggested that I read it after I had to read an excerpt from an Audre Lorde essay," Victor said. "I don't know how they got the idea that I would like to read about the life of a Caribbean lesbian, but they knew and they were right." Yuri chuckled.

"I'm glad you're enjoying the book."

"Speaking of books, have you started reading the book I gave you?"

"I have."

"And?"

"I had to stop after the first poem. It made me sweat," Yuri admitted. Victor muffled his laughs. "I don't know if I will be able to continue reading if I'm going to keep sweating like that." Victor laughed harder. "This is not amusing."

"If just reading something mildly suggestive makes you sweat, you're going to have a rough time with me," Victor said. "How was that for your personal introduction to Neruda?"

"I like it," Yuri said. "It was nice."

"Good. I'm glad you like it." Victor was beaming through the phone. "How do you feel?" Victor asked.

"I feel warm," Yuri muttered. "What about you?"

"Warm," Victor said. "How's your roommate?"

"He's fine." Yuri continued drawing. Then he scratched his chest. "How's Christophe?" Yuri asked.

"Chris is Chris, as usual," Victor said. Yuri stopped drawing and opened his journal again. He's trying to just continue writing and stay away from what he had just written. "I had just gotten off the phone with him. He wanted to tell me about this disagreement he had with his partner about chocolate ice cream."

"Over chocolate ice cream? Really?"

"Yeah. His partner thinks chocolate ice cream is gross and that ruined Chris," Victor said. "Let's get this out of the way now: How do _you_ feel about chocolate ice cream?"

"I love chocolate," Yuri said. "Do you?"

"Well, I, unlike Chris' partner, will definitely eat chocolate ice cream," Victor said. Yuri's phone buzzed. Phichit is texting him.

 _ **Phichit: Okay, I finished my essay draft. Can you look over it?**_  
 _ **: Sure. Share it with me.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Nice ((heart with arrow emoji))**_

Phichit shared his essay with Yuri and Yuri looked at it. He has to hang up now; Victor is only going to be a distraction if he keeps talking to him when he's trying to help Phichit. "Hey, Victor," Yuri said. "I have to do something really important right now and I need to hang up."

"Okay," Victor said.

"Just text me if you want me."

"Then I'll be texting you forever." Victor chuckled. "I'll let you get to your work. Пока, солнышко."

"Yeah, that." Yuri hung up and got to work on Phichit's essay. The essay, as a whole, was fine, but there were a few areas that were too ambiguous that needed to be fixed or gotten rid of. Other than that, the essay was fine, the wording was strong, and Phichit's voice was clear.

But Yuri couldn't get his mind off of Victor.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Eleven pages ((jazz hands))


	38. Chapter 38

Ryuugazaki: I submitted my application and information for the program. Now I gotta wait and anoint my doors.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Eight  
 **(Tuesday, 10 November 2015 – 6:12pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri! I need you to tie my tie!" Phichit yelled from the bedroom. Yuri got up and went into the room. Yuri was still getting ready; he hadn't even finished buttoning his shirt. Phichit was almost ready. The only thing he needed was his bow tie to tie it all together. "Thank you, ma poupée," he said as Yuri finished tying his tie. "Now go put on your pants." Yuri chuckled and went back into the living room to continue dressing.

Compared to how quickly he usually dresses, he was dressing slowly. He was thinking about his sessions with Luzia and Noêmia. His session with Noêmia was fine, as usual. She was as soft-spoken and as loving as she usually was. She asked about how his medicines made him feel and decided to increase his Lexapro dosage.

But Luzia. "Luzia," Yuri thought. His session with her was uncomfortable. He was trying to explain to her why he couldn't verbalize his feelings of depression, his brief but welcomed emotional reprieve from his depression, his feelings of anomie, and Victor – what he was going to tell him and his feelings for him. Luzia would _not_ allow him to avoid his feelings for Victor today. Today's step was admitting that he does have feelings of some sort for Victor. Tomorrow? The day after that? Avoiding Victor and his messages.

Luzia said that she wasn't going to allow him to avoid his feelings like he avoided telling Victor about participating in events. Luzia didn't say that he had to tell Victor anything. It'd be preferable if he did; doesn't mean that he's going to, though.

Yuri zipped his pants and tucked in his shirt. He started stimming to make his clothes more inhabitable. "Yuri?" Phichit said when he came to the living room. "Are you stimming again?" Yuri nodded. He stopped stimming and sat down. Phichit sat next to him. "Let me fix your collar." Phichit flipped Yuri's collar down. Phichit was wearing his shoes already. "There you go. You look presentable enough for a selfie."

"Enough?"

"Enough." Phichit fished his phone out of his pocket and made Yuri pose for a selfie. "Going on Instagram." Phichit kissed Yuri's cheek and Yuri was unamused. "We can leave when you get ready."

"Are you in a rush to get there?"

"I need to get Camille's orchid," Phichit said.

"If that's the case, we should get going." Yuri got up and put on his shoes. He and Phichit put on their coats. Yuri grabbed his bag and they went to the flower shop.

#

 **(Tuesday, 10 November 2015 – 6:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit got his orchid for Camille. They were waiting outside of the restaurant with Masabeeh, Tal'at, and Khoudia.

"Hey, y'all!" Camille yelled as the walked down the street. They were in dress pants and a pinstriped shirt. They started running. "I'm glad you can make it!" They stopped once they approached the four. "Let's go in." Camille was beaming. Everyone followed Camille inside and they were seated by the window. The waitress came out and gave them menus.

"Before we all eat, I have an announcement," Camille said. Everyone at the table quieted. "As y'all know, I've been out for almost two years now." Camille looked at Phichit and Yuri and smiled. "Since I've come out, I've been debating on what to call myself. All of you have been so good to me, being considerate of my pronouns and all. I've decided on what I want to call myself." Everyone nodded and waited. Camille told them their new name, but finished with "But please, call me Adé." The table broke out in applause and Adé finished with wiping their eyes. "I'm so glad that I have all of you!" Masabeeh and Tal'at gave Adé hugs and tried to quell their tears. It was a moving sight to behold, really. "Now, let's decide what we're going to order," Adé said with a giggle. And they did just that.

The rink mates made conversation and jokes and had a lovely evening. Adé was around people they loved and who loved and accepted them wholeheartedly. And, for them, that was enough.

#

 **(Tuesday, 10 November 2015 – 10:20pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

After dinner, Adé didn't want anyone to leave and wanted to actually party their birthday night away. So, Phichit called up Yuri's favorite Caribbean girls and had them come to Nebula to celebrate Adé's birthday. Nebula was what one would expect from a nightclub – loud, dark, and filled with intoxicated people. It was a sensory hellhole for Yuri, but alcohol blunted the overwhelming dread in his chest. Diosmari and Yohani were all over each other. Alicia and Mercedes were trying to convince Masabeeh and Tal'at that nothing bad is going to happen to them because they're in a nightclub. Jada and Nia were talking to Phichit and Adé. And Yuri and Khoudia were taking shots. Yuri was chastising Khoudia for taking shots when she's sick and Khoudia was chastising Yuri for not stopping her from making bad decisions. In addition to Khoudia and Yuri chastising each other and taking shots, they were tearing up the dance floor. Khoudia expected Phichit to be more of the dancing type, but, despite his extroverted nature, he was very self-conscious about his dancing.

Khoudia had requested that the DJ play afrobeat. Yuri thought he heard her say that the song was Le Kwa Ukwu. Who it was by, Yuri didn't know, but he liked it. "Yuri!" Khoudia said as she was dancing. Yuri thinks that she called it azonto, but he couldn't remember. He was taking shots as he whined.

"Ah! Yuri's whining like I taught him!" Nia yelled from their table. Jada, Alicia, and Mercedes cheered. Khoudia then started to dance coupé décalé. She was very into her dancing and Yuri was into her dancing, too.

"Hey! Don't stop dancing because I'm blowing everyone away!" Khoudia said loudly. She was grinning. The DJ transitioned into a reggaeton song. Yuri thinks this one is Pa' Que Retozen. He's heard it at a lot of house parties that Jada's invited him to. Adé and the Caribbean girls hit the dance floor. Diosmari and Yohani were whining on each other like the lesbians they are. "They should just get married already," Yuri thought. Khoudia and Yuri were still on the floor, giving their all to the music. Phichit, Masabeeh, and Tal'at were at their table, observing the dance floor.

The music transitioned into dancehall – Wine Slow. After a bout of whining, Khoudia and Yuri took a break and decided to sit with Phichit, Masabeeh, and Tal'at. Yuri poured shots for the both of them.

"Khoudia, isn't your family Muslim?" Phichit said. She leaned in. "Your family. Aren't they Muslim?" She nodded.

"I never knew you could dance like that, Khoudia," Masabeeh said in amazement. "Same for you, Yuri." Phichit poured himself a shot. "Oh no, another drunk person," Masabeeh said with a sheepish giggle.

"Are you uncomfortable with being around drunk people, Masabeeh?" Khoudia asked.

"Not uncomfortable. Just unaccustomed to," she elaborated. "I've never been around any of you while you were under the influence of alcohol so all of this is new." Yuri and Khoudia nodded. Phichit prepared shots for the three of them. They imbibed them and smiled.

"Yuri, aren't you going to Bordeaux tomorrow night?" Tal'at asked.

"What, dear?" Yuri said.

"Bordeaux. Are you going to Bordeaux?" Yuri nodded. Adé and the Caribbean girls came back to the table and took seats. "Ah, they came back just in time!" Tal'at said. "Everyone! Yuri's going to Bordeaux tomorrow!"

"Ah, is it for the skating thing?" Yohani asked. She was sitting on her girlfriend's lap. Yuri nodded. "What?"

"Yes!"

"Oh!" Yohani giggled.

"Have fun in Bordeaux, Yuri," Nia said. "Make sure you blow everyone away with your performance." Yuri nodded.

"I thank all of you, but this night is about my son! Pay attention to them!" Yuri slapped Adé's back. Adé was struck silent. They put their face in their hands. "Adé, are you okay?" Yuri asked.

"Dad," Adé said. They wiped their eyes with their sleeves.

"Yeah?" Yuri leaned in to hear Adé better.

"I love you." Adé got out of their seat to give Yuri a hug. Yuri gladly returned it. After a moment, Adé climbed into Yuri's lap and sat there. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Yuri said. He patted Adé's back gently and they cried harder. Yuri's phone buzzed. Adé looked down at Yuri's pocket with their eyes full of tears.

"Do you want to get that?"

"No," Yuri said. He knew exactly who it was and he didn't want to face it. He wanted to just celebrate Adé's twenty-first birthday, escape his feelings, and be around people he likes without feeling like his insides are on fire.

"Oh, Yuri, how's that guy you're dating?" Khoudia asked. Yuri deadpanned. He hadn't told Masabeeh, Tal'at, Adé, or the Caribbean girls that he was talking to someone. Khoudia was smiling.

"He's alive," Yuri said.

"Yuri, why didn't you tell us you were talking to a guy?" Alicia asked.

"We're still not talking, really," Yuri muttered. "Khoudia, let's go dance." Yuri let Adé have his seat and he plucked Khoudia out of hers. Yuri wanted to be back on the floor where the only thing he had to focus on was dancing. He didn't have to think of Victor; he didn't have to think about skating. All he had to do was move in time to the music and ascend. Plus, Por Mi Reggae Muero was playing.

#

 **(Wednesday, 11 November 2015 – 4:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Pictures were taken and memories were made. Adé and the Caribbean girls went home. Masabeeh and Tal'at were possibly scarred for life. Phichit now has a substantial amount of things he can remind Yuri of when he needs leverage. And Khoudia is asleep on Yuri and Phichit's sofa with smeared lipstick on her face.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: :*)


	39. Chapter 39

Ryuugazaki: I went to Dunkin to start my day and they have cinnamon rolls. But they don't call them cinnamon rolls; they call them coffee rolls. This is just like Starbucks calling them morning rolls.

This has nothing to do with the chapter. I just wanted to tell y'all this.

* * *

Chapter Thirty-Nine  
 **(Wednesday, 11 November 2015 – 7:28am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Khoudia," Phichit said. He was trying to gently nudge her awake. "Khoudia, wake up." She swatted Phichit's soft, little hand away and rolled over. He was fortunate that their sofa was a dark color; he wouldn't have to worry about the lipstick stains too much. "Khoudia."

"I want to sleep," she mumbled.

"You have class today."

"I don't now." She yawned and rubbed her face.

"And why is that?"

"Because I said so." Phichit sat by the coffee table and looked at Khoudia. He had his face in his hands. He was exhausted despite not drinking much or dancing their pants off last night. "Yuri and Khoudia did enough dancing for everyone," Phichit thought, "Next time we shouldn't go clubbing on a weekday. It's destroyed everyone."

"Well, everyone except Masabeeh and Tal'at," Phichit said out loud. "They should be fine."

"Stop talking to yourself," Khoudia said.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Khoudia rolled over to face Phichit.

"I was going to be asleep, but then you decided to wake me up." Khoudia rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"So are you going to stay with me until Yuri comes back from France?" She nodded lazily. She tried to prop herself up.

"Yeah, just let me… let me go home and get my clothes and stuff," Khoudia said. She gave up with trying to keep herself up and laid back down. She yawned. "Last night was fun." Khoudia reached for her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to ask Adé if they enjoyed their birthday."

 _ **Khoudia: Mamour, how did you like last night?**_  
 _ **Adé: I loved it! I'm so glad everyone was there!**_  
 _ **Khoudia: That's great! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.**_

"Do you want to get your clothes now?" Khoudia nodded. "Go wash your face. I'll go get dressed." Khoudia slowly got up and walked to the bathroom. She quickly peeked in to see our friend. He was fast asleep – or so Khoudia thought – and he looked peaceful.

"Go home, Khoudia," Yuri said.

"Nah." She smiled and went to wash her face. When she was done, she came back and sat on the floor by Yuri's bed. "Guess who's back?"

"My other favorite person." Khoudia was beaming when Yuri said that. Then she started to look at Yuri's neck. "What are you doing?"

"I think my lipstick is on your neck." Yuri didn't move. "I think some of it is on your jaw, too." She yawned. "Don't you have to get ready for your flight?" Khoudia grabbed Yuri's phone and took pictures of his neck, jaw, and face.

"Put my phone down."

"Nah." Khoudia put Yuri's phone in his hands. "Come on now, get up and get ready for your flight. I can't wait to see pictures of Bordeaux!"

"So you're trying to get rid of me," Yuri said as he sat up. He wiped his eyes. "I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true."

"Yuri, trust me, you are the last person I'd want to get rid of," Khoudia said. "I just don't want you to miss your flight. You can't sleep the day away." Yuri made a garbling sound. Khoudia shook him awake. "Oh good, you're up! Now gather your things. You need to get ready."

"For someone who should be hungover, you're rather chipper," Yuri remarked.

"Phichit woke me up." Yuri nodded. "He's going to take me home."

"So you're not staying with him for the Bompard?" Yuri asked. He sat up fully and rubbed his eyes.

"I am. He's taking me to get my clothes." Yuri nodded. "Don't try to get rid of me so easily," Khoudia chided.

"When I'm gone, you can sleep in my bed," Yuri said as he stretched. "Have fun being with Phichit all the time." Yuri chuckled.

"I will." Yuri got up and then he plucked Khoudia up. "Phichit said that he was going to start getting ready." Yuri and Khoudia walked into the living room. They found Phichit sleeping on the floor. They stood over him, observing. "Yuri," Khoudia said.

"Yeah?"

"You know what song I'm thinking about?"

"What?"

"Naima." Yuri nodded. Naima is a lovely song. Yuri sat on the sofa and continued looking at him. "Do you want to wake him up?" Yuri shrugged and rubbed his eyes. Khoudia shook Phichit awake. "You said you were going to take me to get my clothes." Phichit nodded, got up, and went into the bathroom to get ready.

"Do you want cereal or something?" Yuri asked. Khoudia shook her head. "We have waffles."

"I'm not hungry."

"Check your glucose." Yuri got up to get Khoudia's meter out of his bag. He tossed it to her. "Alcohol lowers your blood glucose. Check it." Khoudia checked her glucose. "What is it?"

"53." Yuri went into the kitchen and poured a glass of orange juice. He came back and gave it to Khoudia. "I don't really want orange juice. Don't you have grape juice?" Yuri shook his head and sat on the coffee table. "Fine, I'll take the orange juice." Khoudia accepted it and took two sips. "Thank you, Yuri."

"It's no problem." Khoudia took two more sips of orange juice. "Just looking out for you is all."

"My hero," Khoudia playfully swooned. Yuri smiled. "My daimyō in tatami gusoku." Yuri started chuckling.

"Even the daimyō is under the shogun." Khoudia chuckled and took a sip of orange juice. "Plus, I'm more like a daimyō in sweatpants or something. I don't know where I was trying to go with this."

"Ah, but you are enough," Khoudia said. "And you'll always be enough." Yuri heard the sink shut off and the shower head spurt water.

"Is he going to take a shower now?" Yuri shot up. "Oh no." Yuri dashed into the bathroom. "Do not!" Phichit was standing in his underwear. "If you shower now, I can't shower until the shower is dry and that will take hours."

"So you're saying right now that I have to wait to shower because of your neurosis?" Yuri nodded. "Alright. But be done by the time I get back." Yuri nodded again. "I'm wearing your sweatpants."

"Please do," Yuri said. Phichit smiled. "Yes?"

"Make sure you wash the lipstick off your neck when you shower, buddy," Phichit said as he patted Yuri's shoulders. Yuri sheepishly laughed and went into their room for his clothes. "I'm being serious. Wash your neck."

"I'm going to."

"Good," Phichit said as he threw on a hoodie and Yuri's sweatpants. "We'll see you when we get back." Phichit gave Yuri a hug. "Khoudia, put your coat on!" Phichit shouted.

"Okay!"

"We'll be getting out of your hair now," Phichit said with a smile. They left to go get Khoudia's things and Yuri took his shower. He couldn't stop thinking about the Meiji Restoration as he washed his face.

#

 **(Wednesday, 11 November 2015 – 9:00am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was dry and dressed. He was planning to leave within the hour. He checked, checked, and rechecked his bags to see if he might be missing anything. He wasn't missing anything, but he kept checking. During a reprieve, he checked his phone.

 _ **Victor: Hey cutie ((sparkling heart emoji))**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Victor: You're out? With people?**_  
 _ **Victor: Nice. Maybe we should go out. With people. Or each other. ((grinning emoji))**_  
 _ **Victor: You aren't in class today. Did something happen?**_

That last text was sent ten minutes ago.

 _ **Victor: I know you saw my texts.**_

Yuri remembered that he has read receipts on and turned them off. Then he put his phone on airplane mode so he wouldn't get notified of anything. "It's high time to be only thinking of you, heating your body with flame and glow," Yuri muttered. "And it's high time for me to go," he thought. Yuri moved his suitcases, equipment, and carry on bag by the door. "You are a gold mine hidden in the earth," Yuri muttered as he put on his shoes and coat. "To purify you, we must set you on fire."

Yuri waited for a cab to come so he can go to the airport. He saw his next door neighbor. She was a conservative, middle-aged woman. She first became acquainted with Yuri and Phichit after Phichit had to explain why Yuri was moaning so loud that the neighbors could hear. She didn't buy it at all and made a comment about being sinners in the hands of an angry God. Neither Yuri or Phichit understood what she meant by that. The other neighbors kind of just awkwardly laughed it off. They probably didn't believe Phichit either. What makes it funnier was the fact that Phichit wasn't even lying. For Yuri, the one event that could come close to that in absurdity was the incident with the Ping-Pong paddle, a snail, and a tire.

Yuri got in a cab and went to Detroit Metropolitan Airport. There were butterflies in his stomach. He's still in disbelief that he's going to Bordeaux. Coach Cialdini was waiting by the entrance.

"I've been here since 8am. Where were you?" Coach Cialdini started walking; Yuri followed him.

"I had a long night."

"I can tell. Your friends posted about it on Facebook and Instagram." Yuri took a deep breath.

"So I'm presuming you've seen the pictures."

"Only the better ones." Yuri looked at his shoes. If Phichit was a witness to the event, there are most definitely worse ones. He has a near compulsion to document events on social media. This outing was no exception.

"Was it Phichit, Adé, or Khoudia?"

"A combination of them. Khoudia posted the least."

"Yeah, we were dancing all night," Yuri said.

"Good. Now take that enthusiasm you had when dancing with Khoudia and put that into your routines." Coach Cialdini patted Yuri's back and put his hands back in his pocket. "You're going to do great at this event."

"Thank you for believing in me, Ciao Ciao."

"Also, take your phone off airplane mode. I tried calling you earlier and I kept getting sent to voicemail." Yuri nodded and did as his coach asked. He was greeted with a flurry of texts: from Phichit, from Khoudia, from Victor. _Many_ of them from Victor. "Yikes," Yuri thought. He'd have to work harder to avoid Victor then.

 _ **Victor: Class was dull without you.**_  
 _ **Victor: I had a note to give you, too.**_  
 _ **Victor: What are you doing?**_  
 _ **: I'm at an airport.**_  
 _ **Victor: Why?**_

Yuri looked at Victor's last text and decided to take Phichit's poor advice. "Personal business," he thought, "how bad could it be if I said that?"

 _ **: Personal business.**_  
 _ **Victor: Well, when you get back from wherever you're going, be sure to tell me about it.**_  
 _ **Victor: On our next date, specifically.**_  
 _ **: Next date?**_  
 _ **Victor: Yes. Let's go on another date.**_

Yuri damn near dropped his phone. He was amazed by the thought of Victor wanting to go out with him again. He wouldn't have thought that Victor would want to go out with him. "But he does," Yuri said to himself.

"What?" Coach Cialdini asked.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud." Yuri looked down at his phone again. "Ciao Ciao, I have a question." Coach Cialdini nodded. "What do I do if someone wants to go out with me?" He doesn't have anyone else to ask and Coach Cialdini has the most life experience out of everyone he knows right now.

"Do it," he said. Yuri waited for him to say more. Instead, he was silent.

"How do I tell them that I'm a skater?"

"Just tell them." Coach Cialdini wasn't being very helpful. Blunt? Yes. Helpful? Slightly. "Does this person not know that you're a skater?"

"No," Yuri said.

"Hm," Coach Cialdini said. "My statement still stands. Just tell them. If they can't handle you being a skater, then you don't need them in your life."

"And if they can't handle it but I want them in my life?"

"Then you'll need to make a compromise," Coach Cialdini said. "Why do you ask? Is there someone you're interested in?"

"Yeah, kinda," Yuri said. He looked at his phone.

"Well, go on the date with that person and be honest," Coach Cialdini said. He patted Yuri's back again. "I'm sure it'll all work out in the end." "How could Ciao Ciao be so sure of that?" Yuri mused.

 _ **: Do you want to go on another date?**_  
 _ **Victor: I've said "let's do this again" multiple times, Yuri.**_  
 _ **Victor: I want this.**_  
 _ **: When do you want to go?**_  
 _ **Victor: As soon as you come back.**_  
 _ **: Do you have any specific ideas?**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an audio attachment]**_  
 _ **/transcript/ Um, I was thinking that we could go to a botanical garden or clubbing since that's something you do apparently. Or we can catch a show. Or, since it's close to Christmas, we can go ice skating. Hell, we can even get our palms read. We have options.**_

Yuri and Coach Cialdini stopped walking and waited in a line. "This is going to take a while," Yuri mused. "I should check my other texts."

 _ **Phichit: I said "see you when we get back" not "be gone by the time we get back"**_  
 _ **Phichit:** **Smdh**_  
 _ **: Ciao Ciao was waiting for me**_

 _ **Khoudia: Yuri!**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Why did you leave?**_  
 _ **: Ciao Ciao**_  
 _ **Khoudia: ((eye roll emoji))**_

Yuri put his phone away. Then he remembered that he should give Victor a response. So he did. He listened to Victor's message again. He ignored the ice skating part – he didn't want to go ice skating with Victor. Not now, at least. He didn't want to go nightclubbing with Victor either. Yuri can get out of hand at times and he wanted to be in control of himself when he was in Victor. "What else could I respond to?" Yuri asked himself.

 _ **: What kind of show did you have in mind?**_  
 _ **Victor: I initially thought burlesque, but thought against it. So maybe a comedy show?**_  
 _ **: Or we can go to a tea house and an independent bookstore.**_  
 _ **Victor: That sounds like a great idea!**_  
 _ **Victor: Do you have a place in mind?**_  
 _ **: I do.**_

So Yuri explained the details of the date. Victor loved all of it and he said that he couldn't wait for Yuri to come back so they can go on their date. Victor's enthusiasm ate away at Yuri's anxiety. Quite literally. "How could he be so excited?" he wondered. "I'm going to ruin his idea of me and he's excited."

Yuri and Coach Cialdini moved up in line. At least, for a while, Yuri can get his mind off of Victor and just pay attention to this slow-moving line.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm going to an African Arts Festival tomorrow so y'all are getting chapters 38 to 40 now. I hope that tides you over until I get back and I finish up chapters 46 to 50.


	40. Chapter 40

Ryuugazaki: Last chapter before I goooooo

* * *

Chapter Forty  
 **(Wednesday, 11 November 2015 – 7:42pm, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri and Coach Cialdini touched down in Bordeaux. Coach Cialdini was still drowsy from his extended nap on the plane. Yuri was drawing and journaling during the flight. He had started drawing the selfie that Victor had suggested that he draw. He was drawing it and, so far, he was liking it. The urge to destroy his sketchbook had, for the most part, subsided. All he needs to do is keep his sketchbook out of Victor's hands. "That shouldn't be too hard," Yuri thought. "All I have to do is never bring my sketchbook around him again." Coach Cialdini yawned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Yuri," Coach Cialdini said. "Take out your phone. Let's find this hotel." Yuri nodded and did as Coach Cialdini asked.

"What's the address?" Yuri asked.

"35 Cours Maréchal Juin." Yuri wanted to correct his coach's pronunciation, but decided against it. Now was not the time for that. "Did you get that?"

"I'm trying to figure out how to spell 'cours.'"

"Does it matter?"

"Kind of. Can't we just take a Lyft or something?" Yuri looked at his coach. "Or do they not have Lyfts in Bordeaux?" He asked.

"Just find a cab and let's go." Yuri nodded.

"Okay. Lyft it is," Yuri said. Yuri scheduled a Lyft for his coach and himself and they waited outside. Yuri wanted to text Phichit and Khoudia to let them know that he's there, but he couldn't feel his fingers right now.

The Lyft came in seven minutes. Coach Cialdini and Yuri hurried to put their things in the trunk and got in the back seat of the car.

" _Are you here for the Trophée?"_ The driver asked in French.

" _Yes,"_ Yuri replied after he mentally translated what the driver said.

" _You have not been the first person I've had to drive to a hotel because they're here for the Trophée,"_ they said. _"I hope you enjoy it and your stay in Bordeaux."_

" _Thank you very much,"_ Yuri said. Coach Cialdini yawned. Yuri's hands started to warm up and he was able to move his fingers more. He took out his phone.

 _ **: I'm in a Lyft with Ciao Ciao**_  
 _ **Phichit: Tell him I say "hi"**_  
 _ **: Tell Khoudia that I'm here**_  
 _ **Phichit: Will do, ma poupée**_

"Phichit says 'hi,'" Yuri said.

"Tell him I say 'hi,' too," Coach Cialdini said.

 _ **: He says "hi"**_  
 _ **: He's really tired rn**_  
 _ **Phichit: I'm gonna call**_

Yuri's phone started to ring. He quickly put his headphones in and he picked up. "Yeah?" Yuri said.

"Hello, lapinou!" Khoudia said. "He must have me on speaker," Yuri thought. "How are you two holding up?"

"Ciao Ciao is about to drop," Yuri said. "And I'm right behind him, to be honest. It was a long flight." Yuri yawned. "Did you two set the apartment on fire yet?" Phichit chuckled.

"No, not yet," Phichit said. "We're actually making a cake right now. I'll let you know if something catches fire." Khoudia chuckled. "So far, Khoudia's mixing the batter and nothing has spontaneously combusted. I think we'll be fine."

"Well, if something catches fire, try to save as many of my paintings as possible," Yuri said. "Actually, don't do that. Let them burn. I need a fresh start." The driver stopped abruptly at a light. "You know what I'm thinking of right now?"

"What?" Khoudia asked.

"The Autobahn."

"W-why?" Khoudia asked.

"I don't know! I'm just thinking about it!" Yuri wanted to follow that statement with a useless fact about speed limits in West Germany postbellum, but he didn't want to open his mouth anymore. Khoudia's mouth made a sound that sounds like she had her mouth on the lip of a bottle. "What was that?"

"I am drinking seltzer water, mon lapinou," she said. "To be specific, it's clementine seltzer water."

"Gross," Yuri said. The driver continued en route to the hotel.

"You drink aloe water, Yuri."

"And?"

"That's gross," Khoudia said.

"I like aloe water," Phichit said. "Am I gross?" Phichit asked.

"Sadly, chouchou," she said. "I don't make the rules." Yuri heard the oven door open and then close.

"Are you putting the cake in?" Yuri asked.

"Yes," Phichit said. "The batter tastes great." Yuri nodded. "I wish you were here to experience this with us."

"And I wish I was there, too," Yuri said. "I've only been here for about half an hour and I want to be home already."

"And you'll be home soon," Khoudia said. "You're only there for three days and they go by like that!" Khoudia said with a snap of her fingers. "It'll be fine. We believe in you!"

"Thank you for believing in me," Yuri said. The driver stopped at another light. "It's much appreciated."

"We will always believe in you," Phichit said. The knots in Yuri's stomach seemed to have subsided for now. "You're going to do great."

"Thank you," Yuri said. "Also, Phichit."

"Yeah?" Yuri decided not to tell Phichit about his date with Victor. Not yet, at least. He decided he'll tell him tomorrow night.

"Don't set the apartment on fire," he said.

"We won't," Khoudia said.

" _We're here,"_ the driver said. Yuri nudged Coach Cialdini awake. Yuri put his phone in his pocket and opened the car door. Coach Cialdini did the same.

"Okay so Ciao Ciao and I are here," Yuri said. He opened the trunk of the car and got his suitcases and carry-on bag out. "It's dark."

"Yes, that's what happens at night," Phichit said.

"Phichit, take your sass and put it in your pocket," Yuri said. Phichit made a cluster of sounds while Khoudia was snickering wildly. Coach Cialdini closed the trunk after he set his bags down and closed the trunk.

"Don't you have to be getting out of an automobile?" Phichit asked. Khoudia was still snickering.

"I'm already out of it," Yuri said. He carried his things to the entrance of the hotel and waited for Coach Cialdini there. His fingers were starting to freeze again. Coach Cialdini walked through the open doors of the hotel and he had Yuri stand with him while he checks them in. "We're checking in right now," Yuri told Phichit and Khoudia.

"Good," Khoudia said. "When I got there, Ciao Ciao had to split up with me."

"Why?" Yuri asked.

"Something about not being able to share rooms with skaters. I shared a room with a German skater. I think her name was Franziska or Frederikke. She seemed cool. She was cute, too," Khoudia said.

"Did you get her number?" Phichit asked.

"I _did_ , but she never responded to my texts," Khoudia said. "Which is a shame. I thought she was interested in me."

"Not everyone in the world is pansexual, Khoudia," Yuri said.

"I _know_ , but can't I hope?!" She whined. "She was _cute_ and seemed interested. And _I_ am cute and interested!" Yuri and Phichit were silent. "Don't either of you act like you never knew this. We all knew this." Yuri shrugged.

"Trust us, we know," Phichit said.

"Yuri," Coach Cialdini said. "What are you talking to Khoudia about?"

"Khoudia was talking about this girl she met at her event." Coach Cialdini nodded. He seemed disinterested and disengaged from everything. "How about when I come back we go to Supernova?" Supernova was a gay bar that Yuri and Phichit occasionally go to. It was unlikely that Khoudia would meet anyone that would distract her from Franziska, but it'd be a start.

"I'll go to Supernova, but you two have to promise that you two won't get trashed," Phichit said.

"We were not trashed last time, Phichit," Khoudia said. "Maybe Yuri was, but not me."

"No, you were, too," Phichit said. "Neither of you know how to act with a lot of alcohol in you and I don't want any incidents. Not after last time." Yuri shrugged. "I refuse to take part in another incident with you two."

"We know how to act," Khoudia said. "Yuri, help me out here." Yuri made a face. She throws him under the proverbial bus and then expects him to lend his hand. He rolled his eyes. He's still going to assist, though.

"Yeah, we're not… we're not that bad when we're drunk," Yuri said. Coach Cialdini motioned for Yuri to follow him. The call got disconnected. Yuri figured that Phichit and Khoudia will call back when they realized that the call dropped.

"Your room is on the seventh floor," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri nodded. "Mine is on the eighth," he said. "Call me if you need me." Yuri nodded. He got off at the seventh floor and walked to his room. He tentatively opened his door and found another skater sitting on one of the beds. The skater acknowledged him with a nod and continued to flick through the television stations. Yuri put his equipment in the corner by his bed and started to pace.

"Hey," Yuri said to the skater. The skater looked at Yuri. "Are you going to shower anytime soon?"

"No," he said. Yuri sat on his bed and tried to get a glimpse of the skater. He had black, medium length hair and thick eyebrows. He seemed like the type to be indifferent about everything. The skater got turned off the television and left the room.

 _ **: Who is supposed to be sharing their room with me?**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: A South Korean skater, I believe.**_  
 _ **: Is he usually quiet?**_  
 _ **Ciao Ciao: I wouldn't know.**_  
 _ **: I see.**_

* * *

Ryuugazaki: :*)


	41. Chapter 41

Ryuugazaki: I'm alive.

* * *

Chapter Forty-One  
 **(Thursday, 12 November 2015 – 3:30am, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. He knocked his glasses down in the attempt of reaching his phone. He picked up. "Hello?" He said, letting his phone rest on his face.

"Oh, you're awake," Victor said.

"I am now," Yuri said. "What happened?" It must be an emergency if Victor is calling him this early… Late… Yuri wasn't sure time it was. "Did something happen?"

"Well, I missed you today. That happened." Yuri nodded and rubbed his eyes. "And I have more poetry to give you," Victor said. You could hear him smile through the phone. "Wait, hold on." A notification for a FaceTime request came through and Yuri accepted it. "There. Now I can see you, too." Victor was grinning. Yuri couldn't help but smile.

"You might not be able to see me very well. I'm in the dark right now." Victor's face was illuminated by the lamps in the room and his eyes were sparkling. "Calm down," Yuri told himself. He felt his chest flutter. "Mm, how were your classes today?" Yuri asked. "Yes, stick to banalities. It's easier," Yuri told himself.

"They were nice," Victor said. "Long, but nice." There was a silence. "I still miss you."

"If it's any consolation, you've been crossing my mind all day. Well, night." Yuri smiled. "Think about me, please," he said.

"I'll always think about you," Victor said with a smile.

 _ **Mari: Hey there, little brother.**_  
 _ **Mari: Let's chat.**_

Yuri scratched his face. "My sister is texting me right now." Victor nodded. He looked vulnerable. "I'll respond later."

"Ah, you're forsaking your relationship with your sister for me," Victor said as he touched his chest.

"It's not serious. She just said 'let's chat,'" Yuri said. He rubbed his eyes. "I'll just talk to her later. Don't worry about it." Victor smiled. He couldn't stop smiling, it seemed. "I'd much prefer to talk to you, anyway. I love my sister, but I…" Yuri trailed off. He's approaching risky territory.

"But what?"

"I don't know," Yuri said. "I don't know where I was going with that sentence." Victor nodded. Victor's phone buzzed.

"Ah, Mila texted me." Yuri nodded. "Hold on." Yuri couldn't see Victor's face anymore. He was checking his messages.

"Who's Mila?" Yuri heard a chuckle, but it didn't come from either him or Victor. "Is she a skater?"

"She is! We're rink mates in Saint Petersburg." Yuri nodded. "I think she's in Bordeaux right now." Yuri started to sweat and he was glad that the night was masking him. "Yeah, she's in Bordeaux," Victor said. Yuri was able to see his face again. Yuri mused about the possibility of Victor telling Mila about him and her recognizing him. He was, once again, grateful for the night for masking the pained expression he must have on his face. The closer and closer he got to the event, the more Yuri was dreading his decisions. Every single one of them. Victor was smiling now.

"You're smiling a lot tonight," Yuri said.

"You're not bothered by it, are you?"

"Why would I be?" Yuri asked. "I like your smile. It's infectious." Yuri said with a smile. "It makes me feel warm."

"I make you feel warm?"

"Very," Yuri said. Right now Yuri could feel the warmth radiating in his chest, spreading outwards, threatening to envelop him entirely. "Are you tired?"

"No," Victor said. Then he yawned. Yuri chuckled. "Okay, maybe I am. Just a little bit."

"Go to sleep," Yuri said. Then he yawned, too.

"But I want to talk to you." Victor rubbed his eyes. There was a silence. "If I go to sleep, will you let me talk to you when I wake up?" Yuri nodded. "I can't tell if you were nodding."

"You can call me when you wake up," Yuri said. "I'll be here in the morning." Victor smiled. His eyes looked tired now.

"I can't wait to have you in my arms again," Victor remarked. Yuri felt warmer than before. He can't think straight when he thinks about Victor holding him. Yuri had been reflecting on the way Victor makes him feel on the plane. So far, he's said that he makes him feel: vulnerable, bothered, warm/on fire, tingly, and alive.

"And I… I can't wait to be in your arms," Yuri told him. Victor was grinning. "I wish you were with me right now." He wanted Victor with him despite Yuri not telling Victor about his professional skating or where he was going. Yuri closed his eyes. "Victor is going to hate me when he finds out," Yuri thought. He didn't want to think about that right now, but it's the thought that keeps popping up. Victor is going to hate him and he's going to leave. Yuri doesn't want Victor to leave him. Despite his initially standoffish attitude, he liked it when Victor would talk to him. He relished it when Victor touched him. He savored it when Victor gave him bedroom eyes. The thought of Victor hating him makes him sick, but it's going to happen and it's his fault.

But Yuri's trainwreck thoughts were interrupted when Victor said, "And I wish I was with you."

"Maybe – just maybe – Victor won't hate me after all," Yuri thought.

#

 **(Thursday, 12 November 2015 – 9:00am, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri awoke to the sound of chatter in his ears. It was like Yuri was in a McDonald's or a Starbucks after classes let out. It was loud and overwhelming and the pillow didn't muffle the sounds. He couldn't make out any of the words, but, if he could, he'd wager that it's about how he's an absolute idiot. He couldn't make any phone calls because the voices would overpower the person on the other end. He couldn't run upstairs and talk to his coach; he probably wasn't even up yet. All he was able to do was either lay in bed and try to sleep or just continue on with whatever he was going to do.

 _ **: Mari, can you text me for a bit?**_  
 _ **Mari: Did something happen? Do you want me to call?**_  
 _ **: I'm hallucinating right now and I won't be able to hear you very well.**_  
 _ **Mari: What do you need?**_  
 _ **: Just text me.**_  
 _ **Mari: Alright, give me like five minutes.**_

Yuri got his mala out of his carry on bag and started his deep breathing exercises. "I can do a deep breathing exercise in five minutes," Yuri thought. He started with a slow, steady deep inhalation that lasted for four counts. He held it for four counts. Then he exhaled for four counts. This went on until his phone buzzed. Yuri stopped his breathing exercise and checked his phone.

 _ **Mari: Ready.**_  
 _ **Mari: Now, what do you want to talk about?**_  
 _ **: I don't know. What did you message me about this morning?**_  
 _ **Mari: Huh? This morning?**_  
 _ **: At 3am. I'm in Bordeaux for the Bompard.**_

Yuri got out of bed and decided to brush his teeth. He bought a tube of cinnamon toothpaste specifically for travel. He went into the bathroom and turned on the faucet. He rinsed his toothbrush and his hands started shaking slightly. He brushed his teeth and tongue until his phone buzzed again.

 _ **Mari: Oh yeah… I didn't know that it was**_ 3am _ **there.**_  
 _ **Mari: Sorry about that.**_  
 _ **: It was fine. It was kind of weird explaining it to my friend thou**_  
 _ **Mari: What did you have to explain? Are we talking about Phichit?**_

Yuri spat out the toothpaste and started to rinse his mouth. He spat again and started to wash his face.

 _ **: N-no, not Phichit.**_  
 _ **: And I had to explain that my sister was texting me rn.**_

Yuri washed his face three times before it felt right for him. His face was looking red now from the scrubbing.

 _ **Mari: You have a friend beside Phichit now?**_  
 _ **Mari: I am amazed, proud, and mildly annoyed.**_  
 _ **: Why annoyed?**_  
 _ **Mari: That you haven't mentioned them sooner.**_

Yuri washed and dried his hands and left the bathroom. Yuri's roommate wasn't there and he wasn't bothered in the slightest by it. He didn't need anyone witnessing him having an episode. He barely wants Phichit there when he's having an episode.

 _ **: Well, it's a very complex relationship.**_  
 _ **Mari: What's complex about it?**_  
 _ **: I… I don't know exactly.**_  
 _ **: I just know that there are very complicated feelings involved between the two of us and I…**_  
 _ **: I don't know.**_

Yuri sat on his bed, trying to decide on what he's going to do now. "I could go to the rink and practice," Yuri thought. "No, Khoudia texted me about wanting pictures as soon as possible." He put his head in his hands. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Mari: Do you like them?**_  
 _ **: I don't know.**_  
 _ **Mari: I don't know why I asked. You're not good at stuff like this ((grinning emoji))**_

Yuri rolled his eyes at what his sister said.

 _ **Mari: What's his name?**_  
 _ **: Victor.**_  
 _ **Mari: Heh, like your celebrity crush.**_

Yuri looked at his phone and slowly got up. "I should shower," Yuri thought. "How am I going to shower?" He walked back to the bathroom and looked at the shower. He knew how he was going to shower, but he didn't know how he was going to do that. The tub looked dry and there were clean towels in the bathroom. This is going to bother Yuri. "Just do what you do at home," he said. "Turn on the water. Make sure it's hot enough to peel your skin off. And shower. It's not hard," he said. The voices started screaming. "Ignore the voices and get in the shower." He was trying to goad himself into the shower. "You can get macarons after you shower. You like macarons, don't you?" Yuri sat on the cold floor in the bathroom. He had already taken off his pajamas and he was rubbing his calves. This was going to take a while.

#

 **(Thursday, 12 November 2015 – 10:45am, Bordeaux, France)**

Despite the voices screaming and making noise, Yuri was finally able to take a shower and get dressed. He wanted to go sight-seeing before he would finally go to the rink. Yuri sat on the bed, thinking about the places he could go. "Would Khoudia appreciate pictures of a cemetery?" He asked himself. "Yeah, she would. I'm going to the cemetery." Yuri texted Coach Cialdini to let him know that he was going to walk around. Then he put his earbuds in and left his hotel room.

 _ **Mari: How did your shower go?**_  
 _ **: Terrible, tbh**_  
 _ **Mari: Why?**_  
 _ **: It took a really long time for me to actually get in the shower and I kept hearing screams.**_  
 _ **Mari: Poor little brother.**_  
 _ **Mari: Just a suggestion: You should tell your doctor about this.**_

Yuri walked down the block, taking in the sights. Bordeaux seemed like a nice place to be.

 _ **: I was planning on that.**_  
 _ **Mari: Good! You need to tell your doctor!**_  
 _ **: Thank you for caring about me.**_  
 _ **Mari: So what are you doing?**_  
 _ **: I'm going to a cemetery**_

Yuri stopped at a light and waited. There was a family standing next to him. They kept looking at him. "What could be so interesting about me that the entire family would stop and stare?" he ruminated.

 _ **Mari:**_ Whyyy _ **?!**_  
 _ **: Because why not?**_  
 _ **: Also, there's a family staring at me.**_  
 _ **Mari: A family?**_  
 _ **: Yeah. A whole family. Kids and pet dog included.**_  
 _ **Mari: Strange.**_  
 _ **: Life is strange.**_  
 _ **Mari: Lmao maybe they've never seen an Asian man before.**_  
 _ **: …do they not have the internet?**_

The light changed and Yuri continued walking. The family walked slowly behind him. Yuri checked Google Maps and turned the corner. He walked down the block, taking his time to look at the police station that was on the corner.

 _ **Mari: Maybe they never expected to see a Japanese person in the flesh.**_  
 _ **Mari: Speaking of flesh, we need to talk.**_  
 _ **Yuri's face started to get warm.**_  
 _ **: What about the flesh?**_

He regretted asking. He doesn't need a half-assed sex education from his sister. Not over text. Not over the phone. Hell, not even in person. He just doesn't want to have this discussion with his sister.

 _ **Mari: The weakness of it and how we all die in the end.**_

Yuri stopped in his tracks. That took a dark turn. Then he grew concerned. _He's_ used to being depressed and ruminating about death, but he's not used to _Mari_ being depressed and ruminating about death. Mari must not be alright if she wants to have a conversation about death and dying.

 _ **: Are you okay?**_  
 _ **Mari: What?**_  
 _ **: Are you okay? You want to talk about death and dying and that's not you.**_  
 _ **Mari: Can't I have a philosophical discussion with you?**_  
 _ **: I mean, you could but it's not like you. You hated your philosophy class.**_

Yuri continued to walk, but at a slower pace. There was a hotel next door to the police station.

 _ **: What exactly do you want to talk about in regards to that?**_  
 _ **Mari: You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead.**_  
 _ **: So you've watched World of Tomorrow, too, I see.**_  
 _ **Mari: What do you know about Don Hertzfeldt?**_  
 _ **: Enough to know that he's an animator and that's from World of Tomorrow.**_

Yuri stopped at a light and checked his phone again.

 _ **Mari: You're side-tracking.**_  
 _ **: And you're not?**_  
 _ **Mari: Bah, we'll have this conversation later.**_  
 _ **: If you say so, my respected elder sister.**_

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I really would have updated sooner, but I've been exhausted. Really exhausted. Not depression exhausted, but close.


	42. Chapter 42

Ryuugazaki: I finally did something right and made a doctor's appointment. So I'm going to be going to the doctor. Also, big news: I got accepted to the student supports program! Praise!

* * *

Chapter Forty-Two  
 **(Thursday, 12 November 2015 – 6:30pm, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri met up with Coach Cialdini at the rink. He looked like he hadn't slept much last night. "What exactly was he doing that made him look like he was having a staring contest with Dracula?" Yuri wondered. Yuri found his coach sitting on the bleachers.

"Ciao Ciao?" Yuri said, looking down at him.

"Yes?"

"You look exhausted." Coach Cialdini looked up at Yuri, deadpan. "I would like to get in some practice before tomorrow." Coach Cialdini nodded and got up. Yuri got the impression that his coach was somehow upset with him. He wondered if he had done something to upset him, but then thought against that. To his knowledge, he hadn't done anything that would bother Celestino. Yuri put on his skates and skated to the center of the rink.

"Start with your short program." Yuri took three deep breaths and started. He heard the voices scream and he flubbed his triple Salchow. "Yuri, what are you doing?" Coach Cialdini asked.

"My short program."

"Are you sure? Because that looked like your free skate to me." Yuri stood up and looked at Coach Cialdini. "Go back and try it again." Yuri nodded and started his short program. The voices screamed again and he flubbed his axel jump. "Yuri! Come here." Yuri skated over to his coach. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is there something on your mind? You're flubbing your jumps," Coach Cialdini said. "Talk to me."

"I'm hearing voices and they keep screaming." Yuri's voice was barely a whisper. Coach Cialdini nodded.

"And you didn't tell me this earlier?" Yuri shook his head. "Why?"

"I didn't want to worry you. I thought it would have stopped by now," Yuri said. "I'm sorry, Ciao Ciao. I'll work on my short program." Yuri started to skate to the center of the rink, but Coach Cialdini called him back. "Yes?"

"When you get back to your room, use your coping skills," Coach Cialdini said. He even used the phrase that Luzia uses for his coping mechanisms. "If you brought your sketchbook, do that."

"I've been doing breathing exercises every few hours."

"Good," Coach Cialdini said as he patted Yuri's back. "Now work on your short program." Yuri nodded and went back to the center of the ice. He started to practice his short program and this time it went well.

#

 **(Thursday, 12 November 2015 – 7:49pm, Bordeaux, France)**

"Yuri!" Khoudia shouted from the other end. "Why did you send me pictures of a cemetery?" Yuri was getting out of his clothes as he was in a call with Phichit and Khoudia.

"Do you like them?"

"They're _nice_ , but why would you take pictures of a cemetery? Why were you walking around a cemetery? What is going on?!" Khoudia was in all of the feelings she had – which were a lot. Yuri took off his pants and folded them. He put on his pastel pink pajama pants with bows on them. They were soft and they were exactly what he needed for an overwhelming night like this.

"The cemetery looked nice and I thought you'd appreciate it." Yuri took off his shirt and jacket. "I liked it."

"I… Thank you, Yuri," Khoudia said.

"I also went to the Bordeaux Museum of Fine Arts today. Do you want pictures of that?" Yuri folded his shirt and placed his jacket at the foot of the bed. "The museum was pretty." He put on a light blue t-shirt. Then he made a mental note to send Khoudia pictures of the museum.

"How did practice go?" Phichit asked. Yuri heard a fork scrape against something. He's eating.

"Well…" Yuri trailed off. "If my practice was anything to go by, I'll probably place fifth."

"Oh, don't say that, ma poupée," Phichit said. "You have all of us in Detroit rooting for you!"

"Hm," Yuri said. He sat on his bed and went in his suitcase for 20 Love Poems and a Song of Despair. He was on the twelfth poem now. "I thank you for your support of me."

"There's no need to thank us, ma raison d'être," Khoudia said. "We would support you regardless." Phichit's fork scraped against his plate. "How's Ciao Ciao?"

"He seemed exhausted when we were going over my routine," Yuri said. He opened his book. Then he closed it. He wasn't going to be able to read while he was in a _riveting_ conversation with Phichit and Khoudia.

"Yeah, jetlag does that to Ciao Ciao," she said. "He gets all crabby and stuff and he's not very sociable." There was a clattering sound. Yuri yawned. "If he seemed on edge, don't worry about it. He should be fine by tomorrow."

"Oh, I'd hope so," Yuri said. "Tomorrow is the Bompard and I need him to be Ciao Ciao."

"Understandable," Phichit said. "You came with Ciao Ciao and you're going to need him to be Ciao Ciao when you skate." Yuri rubbed his eyes. "How's Victor?"

"Alive."

"Aside from alive," Khoudia said.

"He's Victor," Yuri said.

"Ma raison —"

"Just drop it, Khoudia," Phichit said. Yuri was grateful that Phichit wants to drop it; however, Yuri was certain that he was going to start snooping and prying as soon as possible.

 _ **Victor: Can I call you again?**_  
 _ **: I'll call you. I'm talking to my roommate right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Okay солнышко ((sparkling heart emojis))**_

"So, what are you two doing right now?" Yuri asked, trying to change the conversation.

"I'm eating cake," Phichit said.

"And I'm waiting for this event to start. I'm so excited!" Khoudia gushed. "Your costume is great and you're going to do great!" Yuri looked at his bags.

"Yeah, I guess," he muttered. Then he went into his carry on bag and took out his journal.

"Yuri, I will get on the next flight just to make you believe in yourself," Khoudia said.

"Good luck getting on the next flight here," Yuri said, tongue-in-cheek.

"Is that a dare?" Khoudia asked.

"Make of that what you will," Yuri said. He started to write "feel better" on the page.

"That's it! I'm packing!" Khoudia shouted and ran away. Yuri and Phichit were cackling.

"I should try and calm Khoudia down," Phichit said. "I'll text you," he said. "Love you, ma poupée."

"I love you, too, mon canard," Yuri said and ended the call. By the time Yuri looked back at his journal, he had written "feel better" several more times. He laid down on his stomach at the foot of his bed, taking in the room. His roommate still wasn't back yet. "I should call Victor," he thought. Yuri called him. "Hello?"

"Ah, my sunshine," Victor said. Yuri felt his face warm. "It's you." Yuri closed his journal and put it back in his carry on bag. "I've missed you today."

"I've missed you, too," Yuri said. He started to play with the pages of 20 Love Poems. "Today was a long day."

"Same," Victor said. "Hold on." Yuri nodded. A FaceTime notification came through. Yuri accepted it. He had his phone propped against the footboard. "That's better. I can see your face now." Victor smiled. Yuri smiled. "I can see your legs, too. Are you in pajamas?" Yuri nodded. He sat properly so Victor can get a better look at his pajama pants. "They're so pretty. Just like the person wearing them." Yuri smiled and laid back on his stomach.

"You're pretty, too," Yuri said. He felt his face warm. Victor's face was turning a bit pink. Yuri's smile started to fade when he realized that he has to submit an assignment for his art history class. "Fuck," he thought, "I should probably do that assignment."

"Did something happen? You stopped smiling," Victor said. He was still bathing in the light of his compliment.

"I remembered that I have to do that art history assignment," Yuri said. "I did see some nice art today." Yuri begrudgingly took out his laptop and started to work. He already had a piece in mind: Venus on the Waters by Johann Zoffany.

"Would you mind it if I watched you do your art history work?" Victor asked.

"Kind of," Yuri replied.

"I'll just look at something else then." Victor reached and grabbed something. He showed Yuri the cover. Breakfast at Tiffany's by Truman Capote. "I have a question, though," Victor said.

"Ask away."

"What kind of art does your sister like? What's her name?"

"Mari. And she likes Tōyō, Shūbun, and Tōhaku." Yuri looked at his phone. Victor was nodding. "But, for Western art, she likes… I guess you can say she likes Baroque art? She really likes this Triumph of the Immaculate piece. That's Baroque, I think. She likes Rachel Ruysch, too. Personally, I don't think about Baroque art that much, but I like Juan de Pareja by Velázquez." Victor was smiling now.

"I love it when you talk about art." Victor smiled and looked at Yuri. So far, Yuri had only written his name. "You become so much more alive when you talk about it."

"I suppose so," Yuri muttered as he typed out the rest of his heading. "How's practice been going?"

"Very well," Victor said. "Have you seen my short program?"

"No, not yet."

"Well, you should see it." Yuri quickly saved his document and looked at his iMessages. Phichit had sent him a picture of Khoudia drinking out of two wine glasses. Her hair wasn't braided and she had it in a large bun. Yuri was chuckling. "What happened?"

 _ **: Nerds smh**_  
 _ **Phichit: Oh shut up lmao**_

"My roommate sent me a picture of our friend. She's very anxious about the Bompard tomorrow," Yuri said.

"Which friend? Khadijah?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Does Khadijah follow figure skating?"

"Closely." Yuri looked at his document. "What am I trying to say here?" He asked himself. His paper usually writes itself, but it wasn't doing that tonight. "Khadijah loves it. She breathes it, really." Yuri typed the word "the" and looked at the document. He doesn't have anything to say about the painting except that he absorbed it and loved it.

"How's your art history work coming along?"

"I wrote one word." Victor chuckled. "I don't know what to say about the piece I saw tonight."

"What did you see?"

"This painting called Venus on the Waters by Johann Zoffany," Yuri said. "It's stunning." Victor's face became a blur; he must be searching for the painting.

"It's gorgeous." Victor was visible again. "What's causing the mental block tonight?" Victor asked. Yuri shrugged. "Are you usually good at these assignments?"

"Normally I can write about the piece I've seen, but tonight it's just… I don't know," Yuri said. He scratched his scalp and stared the document down.

"Don't overwork yourself," Victor dotingly said. "It's only 2pm."

"It's not 2pm where I'm at," Yuri said. "And speaking of 2pm… Don't you have a class?" Yuri looked at Victor; Victor looked right back at him. "Victor."

"Yes?"

"Are you not going to class today?" Yuri asked. He took in the scene behind Victor. It looks like he's on campus. Victor stayed silent. "Go to class." Victor rolled his eyes when he said that.

"I want to talk to you, though," Victor said.

"Text message," Yuri stressed. "We have cellphones. You can just text me. Now go to class."

"It's just one class," he said. Yuri deadpanned. "Come on, голубушка, it's not that big of a deal."

"Go to class," Yuri stressed. He doesn't want Victor to miss class because of him. He already accidentally caused that and he doesn't want to cause that again. Victor made a face. "Go!"

"Fine, fine. I'll go," Victor said. "I miss you already."

"I'll miss you, too, but you have to go to class." Victor had that face on him again. "Please," Yuri said. "Text me when you get to class." Victor nodded and packed his things.

"Think about me while I sit in my class," Victor said as he put on his dark green woolen trench coat. He seemed displeased about going to class.

"I'll always think about you," Yuri said.

"Walk to class with me?" Yuri squinted. "I don't want to end the call just yet," Victor said. He tossed his backpack over his shoulder and started to walk. Yuri looked at Victor walk. He was getting stares from the people in the library. It's kind of unusual to FaceTime as you walk, but Victor was doing it. It was akin to stopping in the middle of the street during a red light to take a selfie. Victor walked to the elevator and waited.

"So you're really going to FaceTime and walk?"

"Yes. Why wouldn't I?" Yuri was silent. "So, how is your sister?"

"She's fine," Yuri said. Victor looked like he was waiting for Yuri to elaborate on his answer. Yuri looked back at his document. "This isn't happening tonight," he thought.

When Victor assumed that he wasn't going to get his elaboration, he said, "Tell her that I say 'hi.'"

"I'll be sure to do that." Yuri looked back at Victor. "I told my sister about you," Yuri said as Victor stepped on to the elevator.

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"What did she say?" Victor asked with bated breath.

"That I'm clueless when it comes to emotional stuff," Yuri said. Victor looked at Yuri and Yuri looked right back at him. "It was relevant to what we were talking about." Victor nodded. He got off of the elevator and started to walk to the building his class is in.

"I believe you," Victor said. Yuri watched Victor as he walked.

"Wait!" Yuri said. Victor stopped in his tracks. "I just understood what you meant by 'walk to class with me.'" Victor laughed and kept walking. His eyes were sparkling now. "That took me a while."

"You're funny," he said. Yuri looked at the document one final time and closed it. It was obvious that this paper wasn't going to be written tonight – or at all, for that matter. "I'm at my building now," Victor said. "I still don't want to hang up."

"I can do it for you," Yuri said.

"No, no. I'll do it. I have to be strong," Victor said. "I love you." Yuri's breath was taken away. Victor smiled. Yuri was silent and dumbfounded. Victor was still smiling. Yuri quickly hung up and laid on his bed, curled in a ball. "Well," he thought, "good thing I wore my soft pajamas."

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Confession: I've been putting off updating because the event chapters make me anxious.


	43. Chapter 43

Ryuugazaki: Kuro, no, Victor seeing Yuri on the telly is not in the cards, but just wait for it. It'll happen. Trust me. I hate to say "keep reading" but y'all really going to have to keep reading. I know _when_ the thing is going to happen, but I can't tell you in what chapter. Just know that you'll know when you know :*)

* * *

Chapter Forty-Three  
 **(Friday, 13 November 2015 – 5:25am, Bordeaux, France)**

"Hey there, little brother!" Mari said. Yuri hadn't even woken up yet and Mari was screaming in his ear – figuratively and also literally. "How are you?"

"Still asleep," Yuri said. He turned his head to see if his roommate ever came back. He did; he was sound asleep. "Are we going to have that conversation now?" Yuri asked. He turned his back towards his roommate and looked at the wall near his suitcases.

"We are, but first: Did the voices stop?" Mari asked.

"Yeah, they've stopped," Yuri said, fighting a yawn. "Now, about this conversation."

"Yes," Mari said. "The Roman politician, Cicero, once said 'The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living' and I think that that's such a great quote to remember when thinking about loved ones who have died." Yuri nodded. "And Lao Tzu said 'Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides' and that's a good reminder that, despite the two seeming to be so different from each other, they are one and the same, only separated by this mortal coil."

"Did someone we know die?" Yuri asked. Mari was silent on the other end. "Mari?"

"Yes?"

"Answer my question." Mari ended the call and Yuri deadpanned. He placed his phone back on the nightstand. "What is wrong with her?" Yuri muttered. "She's acting weird. Weirder than Victor," he thought. He couldn't get what Victor said last night out of his head. "I love you," he mused. "Seems premature. Or absolutely false." He rubbed his eyes. "Why is everyone acting weird?" Yuri grabbed his phone and decided to text Mari to ask her what her issue was.

 _ **Mari: Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely. Buddha.**_

That text was sent immediately after Mari hung up.

 _ **: Mari, are you sure you're okay?**_  
 _ **: I'll forsake the Bompard just to make sure you're okay.**_  
 _ **Mari: I'm fine.**_  
 _ **Mari: I'm more worried about you.**_  
 _ **Mari: You and your bipolar disorder and autism and all.**_

Yuri squinted at his phone and called her. "Don't try and flip this on me, Mari," Yuri said, straight out of the gate. "You're the one skirting around everything and I just want a straight answer."

"I'd give you a straight answer, but I know how you are. You won't handle it. I'm trying to lessen the blow for you."

"How are you lessening the blow? Nothing you've said lessened any hypothetical blow. In fact, it's just making me anxious." Yuri was sitting up by now, looking at the outline of his feet under the covers.

"I can either tell you now or tell you later, but you won't like it either way," Mari said, her voice a whisper.

"So tell me then," Yuri said. "What are you trying to shield me from?" He kept his eyes on his feet. Then he focused on the thread count, mentally unthreading the sheets. After a silence, Mari opened her mouth.

"I can't do this," she said and hung up. Yuri put his phone back on the nightstand and got his journal. He's going to have a lot to tell Luzia in his session next week. He was writing, not reaching for his white out tape, and didn't stop until he forgot how to say "livid" in English. Then he remembered that he hasn't told Phichit or Khoudia about his next date with Victor. He simultaneously calmed down and tensed up when he started thinking of him.

 _ **: Hey,** **poupée** **, I have a date with Victor when I get back in America.**_  
 _ **: Just letting you know. I kept forgetting to tell you.**_  
 _ **: Also, if you and Khoudia are awake, both of you need to be good children and go to bed because you have school.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Two things: 1. I had a feeling that you'd be having a second date!; 2. No shut up it's only 11pm**_  
 _ **: Hard-headed children you two are**_  
 _ **Phichit: Khoudia says stop being judgmental when you're a weird artist.**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_

Yuri sent a selfie of himself making a face of sheer disgust. Phichit sent back crying emojis. Then a call came through. "Ma poupée," he squealed.

"Mon canard," Yuri said.

"Mes lapins," Khoudia said. "So, about this second date." Yuri made a face and started to laugh. "Do you two already have plans?"

"We're going to a tea house and a bookstore." Yuri laid back down and tried to create a new warm spot on his bed. "It's going to be nice."

"Are you going to make him get scones?" Khoudia asked.

"I only made you get scones because I was concerned about your blood glucose," Yuri said. "You can't fault me for being concerned, can you?"

"You have a weird way of showing your concern and that's probably why no one really gets you," Phichit said. "Have you considered asking Luzia to help you with that?"

"Briefly, but I thought it was kinda a dumb idea," Yuri said. "I know Luzia wouldn't mind working with me, but I don't feel like asking her to 'help' me with this problem you think I have. If I think there's a problem – or if Ciao Ciao thinks there's a problem – I'll tell her about it." Yuri yawned.

"I don't know what any of us would do without Luzia," Phichit said.

"Luzia is your… therapist, right?" Khoudia asked. Yuri presumed that Phichit nodded in response to her question. "Then who is Noemie?"

"Noêmia. She's my psychiatrist."

"What's the difference between the two?"

"One prescribes medicine and the other doesn't," Phichit explained. "Noêmia prescribes medicine." There was a brief silence. "Have you called Luzia to tell her about your date?" Yuri remembered that he won't be home in time for his session. "No?"

"No."

"Call her when you get the chance." Yuri nodded. He went further under the covers. The covers weren't soft or sensory pleasing like his covers in Hasetsu or in Detroit, but they were passable. Like Khoudia said, Yuri would only be in Bordeaux for, at least, three days. "Yuri? Are you still there?"

"I'm here. It's just really early right now. I'm kind of tired," Yuri said.

"You talk about us needing to be good children and go to bed on time, but what about you? You're up ass early, talking about us needing to be good children yet look at you! Hypocritical," Khoudia said. Yuri chuckled. "Now, if I was there, this wouldn't be a problem." Yuri could see Khoudia popping her collar and making a smug face.

"I'm sure you would make me sleep had you been here with me."

"I would," Khoudia said.

"Would you two either fuck or get off the sex swing?" Phichit said. Yuri was shocked by what he just said.

"Excuse me, Phichit, I need to know where you learned this foul language," Yuri said. He was laughing now. "This is unbecoming for a child of your age."

"I'm an adult," Phichit pointed out.

"And you're our son. And our son should not be speaking foully," Khoudia said. "Plus, Yuri has a boyfriend. And I like girls more than guys."

"He's… never mind," Yuri said. "What _is_ Victor to me now?" He asked himself. "He said that he loves me – I'm not sure what kind of love he's referring to – and we've…" Yuri thought of all the things he's done with Victor; the thought makes him feel bothered. Yuri curled himself into a ball.

"How do you feel about the Bompard being hours away?"

"I want to vomit, to be honest," Yuri said. "I can't think straight and the anxiety is eating away at me." He rubbed his eyes. "I think I'm going to try and go back to bed now."

"Alright, mamour," Khoudia said. "Sleep well. We're going to be rooting for you!"

"We love and miss you! Be great!" Phichit said.

"I will. Thank you," Yuri said and ended the call. He yawned and wiped his eyes. He was genuinely tired now. "Maybe I'll go to sleep finally," he thought as he drifted off into sleep.

#

 **(Friday, 13 November 2015 – 6:26pm, Bordeaux, France)**

It's time; the event is starting. He's going third tonight. The warm up is over. The first two skaters to go are Georgi Popovich and Leo de la Iglesia.

"Hey!" A small voice yelled from behind a door. Then the person the voice belonged to knocked.

"Yes?"

"Are you Yuri Katsuki?"

"Yes."

"Can I come in?" Yuri looked at the door and decided to open it. There was a small, Asian boy with messy brown hair standing in front of him. "Hi!"

"H-hello," Yuri stammered out.

"I can't believe it's you!" He said. "I must be missing something," Yuri thought to himself. He didn't know who this small child was or why they were standing in front of his door, but here they were. "I have to text Phichit about this!" Then it made more sense. The small boy was texting Phichit in his frenzy.

"Are you one of Phichit's friends?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah! But we haven't met yet. But I see you all over his Snapchat!" Yuri smiled. "I just can't believe that it's you! And you're so tall!" Yuri chuckled nervously. "Can I get a picture?"

"Sure." Yuri and the boy took a selfie together and the boy was grinning from ear to ear. "What's your name?"

"Guang Hong Ji." Yuri nodded. "Don't you follow me on Instagram?" Yuri thought and shook his head. "That has to change. Give me your phone." Yuri gave Guang Hong his phone and Guang Hong did the same. Yuri barely remembered his Instagram name, but it wasn't too difficult to find. Phichit tags him in a lot of rink photos. Guang Hong got a follow notification from Yuri; Yuri got one from him, too.

"Guang Hong!" Someone yelled from the hall. Yuri poked his head out of the door.

"I'm right here!" Guang Hong called out in response. The person ran to Guang Hong's side and smiled. "Guess who I found here?!"

"You must be Yuri Katsuki," the tanned, brown haired guy said.

"Phichit's Snapchat?" He nodded.

"I'm Leo de la Iglesia." Leo gave Yuri a hug; Guang Hong was trapped in between the two. "I finally get to see you in person."

"Aren't you skating tonight?"

"That I am," he said. "You're going after me, right?" Yuri nodded. "I wish you all the luck in the world." Yuri awkwardly smiled. "We should take a selfie!" Leo suggested. Guang Hong and Yuri threw up peace signs and Leo just smiled. Then he took a selfie with Yuri by himself. "What's your Instagram? I don't think I follow you." Leo gave his phone to Yuri and Yuri gave him his Instagram.

"How did you two find me?"

"Well, Phichit told me that you were at the Bompard participating and I told Leo," Guang Hong said. "So Leo and I raced to find you." Yuri nodded.

"Are you participating, Guang Hong?"

"No, not this season," he said. "But I wanted to come and support Leo." Yuri nodded. Leo was smiling.

"We should let you continue to get ready," Leo said.

"I want to talk to my new Asian friend some more, though," Guang Hong said. Yuri lightly chuckled. He didn't know that he is friends with Guang Hong now. "Leo, mi amado, please." Leo's tawny skin started to turn a bit red.

"You don't mind if Guang Hong stays, do you? I have to continue getting ready."

"He can stay," Yuri said. Leo smiled. "Good luck today."

"I'll be back to reclaim Guang Hong when I finish dressing," Leo said. "It was nice meeting you!"

"It was nice to meet you, too," Leo said. He waved at Yuri and walked away. Guang Hong stepped inside Yuri's dressing room and took a seat by the door. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe I'm in the same room as you!" Guang Hong was positively gushing. He took out his phone and started texting. "This is really exciting." He stopped texting when his phone buzzed. "That was Phichit. He's glad that I encountered you."

"I'm glad I encountered you, too," Yuri said as he fixed his shirt in front of the mirror.

"Who makes your costumes?" Guang Hong asked. "I love your skirt!"

"I make them myself." Yuri looked at Guang Hong's reaction from the mirror. "The skirt took a while, though. I kept getting tired while I was sewing."

"You're so good at sewing." Guang Hong smiled. "Can I touch your skirt?" Yuri walked over to Guang Hong and stood in front of him. "Can I?"

"Go for it," Yuri said. Guang shyly touched Yuri's skirt.

"It's really poofy," Guang Hong said. His phone buzzed. "That's Phichit. Hold on." Guang Hong took out his phone and started texting. Yuri went back to the mirror and started to apply his makeup. "Yuri, turn around." Yuri turned around and Guang Hong took a flick.

"Did you take a picture?"

"For Phichit."

"Oh okay then." Yuri turned back around and continued to apply his eyeliner. "So, how old are you, Guang Hong?"

"I'm sixteen," he chirped. "Do you need me to help you with your makeup?" He asked. Guang Hong got up and sat next to Yuri. "I am really good at doing eyeliner. Trust me." Yuri took a deep breath and relinquished control of his eyeliner. "Close your right eye," he said. Yuri did as he asked. "By the time I'm done, your eyeliner will be _so_ sharp!"

"Sharp?" Yuri asked. Guang Hong nodded.

"It's a good thing," he assured him. He did Yuri's right eye. "Now, close your left eye." Yuri closed his left eye and Guang Hong did his eyeliner.

"Yuri, are you ready?" Coach Cialdini knocked on the door. "I'm coming in," Coach Cialdini came in and saw Guang Hong doing Yuri's eyebrow. "Yuri, who is this?"

"This is Guang Hong Ji, Phichit's friend," Yuri said.

"I don't think he's supposed to be back here." Guang Hong finished up Yuri's left eye and smiled shyly. "Are you participating tonight?" Coach Cialdini asked Guang Hong.

"I'm here with Leo de la Iglesia." Coach Cialdini nodded. "He's busy getting dressed right now."

"Shouldn't you be with him?"

"Should be," Guang Hong said as he checked Yuri's eyeliner. "But I told him that I wanted to talk to Yuri for a bit. He said that he'll be back when he finishes dressing." Coach Cialdini nodded. "Are you Yuri's coach? Yuri, did you already put on your mascara?" Yuri shook his head and gave Guang Hong his mascara.

"I am his coach." Guang Hong applied Yuri's eyeliner. "You know you're not supposed to be back here, right?" Coach Cialdini said. He sat by the door.

"I know," he said.

"But you're just going to sit here and do Yuri's makeup, aren't you?"

"Exactly that," he sweetly said. Coach Cialdini rolled his eyes at the sight. He muttered something about "hard-headed skaters" under his breath. "Yoshi!" Yuri smiled. "Your eyeliner is sharp and you're going to dazzle everyone. Now, let's take selfies for Phichit and Instagram."

"Question: Does Victor Nikiforov follow you on Instagram?" Yuri was concerned about the possibility of Victor seeing him. He doesn't know how he's going to tell Victor – if he ever gets around to telling him, that is. He still doesn't know how he's going to tell him and how he's going to react to it, but Yuri has decided that he'll have to tell him eventually.

He also wants things to work between them. And things can't work if Yuri is going to be obsessing over this.

"I _wish_!" Guang Hong snapped a flick of Yuri. "If he followed me on Instagram, I would actually _die_." He giggled. "Pose with me." Yuri posed with Guang Hong several times for several flicks. "Ah, this is great," he said. "I can't wait until Phichit is here with us. It's going to be great!" Yuri smiled.

"It **is** going to be great." Yuri's phone buzzed several times.

Victor: I know I told you that I'm in love with you yesterday and that probably freaked you out a lot, but I just want you to know that I miss you a lot and I wish you'd text me back.

 _ **Victor: So, uh, I miss you.**_  
 _ **Victor: And text back.**_

 _ **Phichit: So you've finally met Guang Hong.**_  
 _ **Phichit: He loves you as much as I love you already**_  
 _ **Phichit: And he just met you**_  
 _ **Phichit: Stop being so** **hecking** **lovable, Yuri**_

 _ **Mari: I think I'm ready to talk to you about what's going on**_  
 _ **Mari: Let me know when you're done with your event**_  
 _ **Mari: I love, miss, and cherish you, my dear younger brother**_

"Oh, you should give me your number, too. I want to send you the pictures," Guang Hong said. They exchanged phones and put their numbers in them. Yuri gave Guang Hong his phone back and he quickly sent the photos. "Let me give you Leo's number, too." Yuri gave Guang Hong his phone and put Leo's number in it.

"Millennials with their social networking," Coach Cialdini said under his breath. Yuri internally chuckled. Someone knocked on the door to Yuri's dressing room.

"Who is it?" Yuri asked.

"It's Leo." Guang Hong leapt up and got the door. "Ah, it's you," Leo said. He hugged Guang Hong tight and waved at Yuri. "I've come to reclaim him like I said I was." Yuri smiled. "Once again, good luck, Yuri!" Yuri nodded. "Let's go, Guang Hong," Leo said. Yuri saw them off and they were arm in arm. It was a warming sight to see.

"Now, Yuri, start stretching," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri did as he asked. He took deep breaths as he stretched and tried to give himself a round of positive self-talk before he stepped on the ice. He tried to channel the fervor he had when he was clubbing and hold on to it so he could perform.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Yesterday, I've read a whole book to de-stress. Today, I engaged in my stretches. Tomorrow, I'm going to go out with some folks from my alma mater to blow bubbles. I've really been trying to de-stress now.


	44. Chapter 44

Ryuugazaki: My body is in much pain. This is both good and bad news: good because I'll be in bed writing and updating (like the good fanfiction writer I should be); bad because I am hurting very much. Everybody wins. Kinda.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Four  
 **(Friday, 13 November 2015 – 7:45pm, Bordeaux, France)**

"Yuri, you did great!" Ciao Ciao said as he patted his back. "It seems like you took my advice." Yuri nodded. "But it also seems like there was more than just 'take the fervor you had when you danced with Khoudia' in it." Coach Cialdini placed his hand in the space between him and Yuri. They were at the kiss and cry, waiting for Yuri's score.

"There was."

"You should tell me about it over dinner." Yuri looked at his coach. "Let's go out to eat. My treat."

"Can we go out to eat when we're back in Detroit?" Yuri asked. "I'm not really hungry right now." Coach Cialdini patted Yuri's back again. "Thank you, Ciao Ciao."

"It's no problem." Yuri's phone started to buzz furiously. No doubt that it's Khoudia and Phichit.

 _ **Khoudia: Phichit is in tears over your performance and I'm literally shook!**_

 _ **Phichit: ilysmmm**_  
 ** _Phichit: Your performance was beautiful [ugly cries]_**

 _ **Khoudia: Now, tell me, who was that performance for? ((smirking emoji))**_  
 _ **: It was for me. All for me.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: ((eye roll emoji))**_

"Yuri, put your phone away. Your scores are coming in." Yuri gave his phone to his coach and put his hands in his lap. Yuri's jaw dropped when he got his score. Coach Cialdini pulled him into a hug. Then Yuri started to cry. One of the cameramen asked Coach Cialdini why Yuri was crying if he did good. "He's just happy," Coach Cialdini said. Coach Cialdini patted Yuri's back until he stopped sobbing and pulled away. "How do you feel right now?"

"I feel good," Yuri said. He wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "I'm so happy."

"You deserve to be happy," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri's phone started to buzz furiously again. Coach Cialdini gave Yuri his phone. "Who is it now?"

"Oh, it's Adé and Masabeeh."

"Oh, your children," Coach Cialdini said. Coach Cialdini knows very well that most of the younger skaters call Yuri "dad" or some variation of it. He was very sympathetic to Adé's reasoning on why they do it.

 _ **Adé: Papaaaa!**_  
 _ **Adé: I'm so proud of you!**_  
 _ **Adé: You did so well!**_  
 _ **: Thank you, my dear son.**_  
 _ **Adé: ((crying emojis))**_

 _ **Masabeeh: Tal'at and I just want to say congrats on placing** **second** **tonight.  
** **Masabeeh: ((heart emojis))**_

 _ **Mari: Mom and Dad are in tears because of how great you did tonight.**_  
 _ **Mari: You have the entirety of Japan cheering for you.**_  
 _ **Mari: We love you, my dearest younger brother.**_

"Now, it's time to face the cameras," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri took deep breaths and nodded. It's time to be interviewed.

#

 **(Friday, 13 November 2015 – 9:45pm, Bordeaux, France)**

"Yuri!" Khoudia said from the other end. "We are so happy right now!" Khoudia set the laptop down on the coffee table. They're FaceTiming now. Khoudia and Phichit were in their pajamas, grinning from ear to ear.

"We're so happy for you," Phichit said. "I knew you had fire in you." Yuri smiled. "We're still shaking." Yuri's roommate came in. Yuri quickly put in his headphones. "Who's your roommate?" Phichit asked.

"Seung-gil Lee, I think," Yuri said. Seung-gil looked over at Yuri from his seat on the bed. "Sorry, Seung-gil. My friend was asking who my roommate is." Seung-gil shrugged and threw his shoes by the door. "So yeah, it's him." Khoudia nodded.

"Get his autograph for me," Khoudia said.

"Khoudia, I can't–"

"I'm not asking if you can or cannot. I'm telling you to do it. Get me his autograph," Khoudia sternly said.

"Hey, Seung-gil," Yuri said. Seung-gil looked over at Yuri. "Can I have your autograph?" Seung-gil's face was unreadable. Yuri took out his sketchbook and opened it to a blank page, hoping that Seung-gil would agree to it. Seung-gil walked over to Yuri's bedside and knelt in front of his sketchbook.

"Do you want it in Hangul or in English?"

"Both?" Seung-gil nodded and reached for the pen that was on the nightstand between their beds. "Thank you for the autograph, Seung-gil," Yuri said. Seung-gil nodded and finished autographing Yuri's sketchbook.

"I'm going out," Seung-gil said. He made a face. "Would you like to come?" Seung-gil sounded pained when he said that. Yuri shook his head. He still doesn't feel like eating. "Okay." Seung-gil changed clothes and put on a different pair of shoes. He's just wearing all black. "I am leaving now." Yuri nodded and Seung-gil left their hotel room.

"Yuri, he asked you to go out with him," Khoudia said. "You should've went!" Yuri reached for his journal and opened it.

"I don't want to go out with Seung-gil. Plus, I think he'd rather be alone right now."

"He's usually alone, though, isn't he?" Phichit asked. "He doesn't talk to anyone and he barely posts on Instagram unless it's about his dog. He's almost as bad as Yuri."

"Cheap shot, lapin," Yuri said. Yuri started writing in his journal. "Keep talking, you two. I'm just writing in my journal."

"Ooh, what are you writing?" Khoudia asked. Yuri stopped writing and looked Khoudia in her eyes. Then he continued writing. "Are you not going to tell me?"

"No," Yuri said.

"Disrespectful," she said. "Just disrespectful." Yuri continued to write in his journal. "How's Victor?"

"I don't know," Yuri said. "I haven't talked to him today."

"You should! Your boyfriend must be bursting at the seams with joy over your performance." Yuri stopped writing and looked at Khoudia again. Phichit looked at the floor. "What? Did I say something wrong?" Yuri stopped writing in his journal; he's going to need to be unoccupied for this.

"Victor doesn't know that he's a skater," Phichit said. Khoudia made a face.

"Why in the _fuck_ does he not know?" Khoudia said. "Yuri, how do you manage to not tell someone such an important fact about yourself? I don't understand any of this." Khoudia didn't give him any chance to answer; she was silently incensed. "When you get back, you better tell him," she said. Yuri nodded. Khoudia is a force to be reckoned with at times.

"How do I go about telling him?"

"Figure it out, mamour," she said. "And Phichit," she said, "what horrible advice did you give Yuri?"

"I don't know why you're involving me," Phichit said. "Yuri made the decision to not tell Victor months ago. I just said that _if_ he asks that he should tell Victor that he was handling some personal business." Khoudia made a face when she heard Phichit's answer.

"That was terrible advice," she said. "Ma raison, I'm going to have to call you back. Phichit and I are going to have a discussion." Yuri nodded and ended their FaceTime call. Khoudia is going to have _a lot_ to say to Yuri once she's done with Phichit.

 _ **Mari: Hey there, little brother.**_

Yuri, in his haste, called Mari. "Whoa, I didn't expect you to call so quickly," she said. "How does it feel to be in second place?" Yuri was silent. "Hold on." A FaceTime notification came through and Yuri accepted it. Yuri propped his phone against his computer. "Well?"

"It feels good. I'm still in denial that this is actually happening," Yuri said. Then he smiled. "But I'm still not out of the woods yet. I have my free skate tomorrow evening and I need to do well for that, too." Mari nodded.

"Well, we'll be supporting you tomorrow, too," she said. "Your ballet instructor was watching with us earlier. She was so glad. She was complaining about your 'free leg' though. No clue what she meant by that." Yuri chuckled.

"Mari, are you going to tell me?"

"Not yet," she said. "Tomorrow, for sure."

"'Tomorrow, for sure,'" Yuri mocked.

"Yuri, don't make me come to Bordeaux," Mari said. "I'll come to Bordeaux just to discipline you." Yuri rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Isn't it 3am?" Yuri asked.

"It is."

"Go to bed."

"You go to bed," she said. "I was actually _going_ to go to bed, but you called me." Mari scratched her head and yawned. "Do you want to watch me sleep?"

"Why would I watch you sleep?" She shrugged. "You can go to bed. I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will be," she said. "I love you."

"I love you, too, my respected elder sister." Mari smiled and ended their call. Yuri finished a sentence in his journal and put it away. He laid down and started thinking of ways he could break this news to Victor. He didn't have many ideas, but he did know that he didn't want to start it with "we need to talk." That would cause unnecessary anxiety for the both of them. Plus, it's clichéd as hell. He rolled on his side and his phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm watching Grave of the Fireflies**_

Victor sent a picture of himself, wrapped in a blanket and clutching a pillow.

 _ **Victor: P.S. Text back. I know you're alive.**_  
 _ **: You got me.**_  
 _ **: Now pay attention to your movie.**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_

Victor was pouting now. Yuri wiped his face with his bed sheet. "Wait, I'm still wearing makeup." He didn't realize that until he wiped his eyes and found eyeliner on the sheets. Yuri got up to wash his makeup off. When he came back, he saw that he had a text from Chris.

 ** _Chris: Your performance tonight was amazing_**

Yuri almost dropped his phone. He dreaded something like this happening, but he decided that he was going to play it cool and act as casual as possible.

 _ **: Aah, thank you~**_  
 _ **Chris: It's no problem**_  
 _ **Chris: What does Victor think about the spectacle?**_  
 _ **: He doesn't know about it yet**_

Yuri went in his bag for his mala and started a deep breathing exercise. He avoided looking at the ellipses and didn't stop his exercise until his phone buzzed. Waiting for Chris' felt like forever for Yuri. Chris' text was a short question with an incredibly complex answer.

 _ **Chris: Why not?**_  
 _ **: I just haven't told him yet.**_

"More like 'I thought about telling him, but became filled with anxiety at the thought of telling him so I never did,'" Yuri muttered.

 _ **Chris: You should tell him**_  
 _ **Chris: I'm sure our Vitya would love to share**_ in _**this experience with you**_  
 _ **: I'm sure he would.**_

Yuri put his phone down and started to play with the hemming on his pajama pants.

 _ **Chris: If you don't tell him, I can and will, sweetie**_  
 _ **Chris: I don't mind**_  
 _ **: I'd prefer to tell him myself**_  
 _ **Chris: Okay ((grinning emoji))**_

Yuri didn't respond to Chris' last message and, instead, decided to watch "My Neighbors, the Yamadas." It's a light-hearted Ghibli movie and it's on his safety plan. Yuri was watching and enjoying the movie until Khoudia started calling. He paused his movie with a sigh and answered. Khoudia was sitting down, calmly. Phichit looked like he got a talking-to.

"Hello there, ma poupée," Khoudia said. "Are you ready to have that discussion?"

"Depends. Am I going to look like Phichit by the time you're done talking?" Khoudia looked over at Phichit. Then she looked back at her computer.

"Probably," she said. "Now, Katsuki Yuri," she said. "How in _the fuck_ do you see someone for going on _three_ months and _not_ tell them about your figure skating career?" The beginning of her question was punctuated with claps.

"I–"

"Shush!" She said. "I am speaking. Do not speak when I speak." Yuri nodded. "In what universe does not telling someone you're interested in a crucial part of your life make sense? Where in the fuck do they do that at?" She asked. "Well?"

"I'm sorry, you want me to respond now?" Yuri asked. Khoudia nodded. "Well, it doesn't, really. It doesn't really make much sense."

"So why did you do it? What contrived logic did you use to reach that conclusion?" She asked.

"I–I was just anxious about the entire thing so I thought that I'd wait until there was a better time to tell him," Yuri muttered. "But the better time never came." Khoudia nodded. "So here I am."

"There will never be an opportune moment handed to you. You have to make them on your own," Khoudia said. "So what are you going to do right now?" Yuri was silent. "Yuri, answer me."

"I… don't know?" Yuri said. "You didn't really tell me to do anything when you said you were going to talk to Phichit." Khoudia glared at him. This is going to be a long discussion for the both of them.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: :*)


	45. Chapter 45

Ryuugazaki: If you look really closely, you can see the relationship upgrade Yuri and Phichit got.

Just had to point that out.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Five  
 **(Saturday, 14 November 2015 – 2:22am, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri's phone rang several times before he picked it up. His Zyprexa had him knocked out. He reached over to the nightstand, knocking over his glasses in the process. Yuri knew who exactly it was calling and he didn't hesitate to pick up. "Hey," Yuri said once he put his phone to his ear. "How are you?" He rubbed his eyes and rolled on his side.

"I'm fine. Just tired and lonely."

" _Por desgracia,_ " Yuri said as he yawned. Khoudia's lectured tired Yuri out; he went to bed immediately after she was done. "What's making you feel lonely?" He asked despite having an idea of the answer.

"You're not here," Victor said. "Also, you haven't talked to me in what feels like forever." Yuri rubbed his eyes. In that moment, he felt like a terrible boyfriend for not responding to his baby for hours at a time, being unintentionally emotionally unavailable, and being all around dull.

"I'm sorry, Victor," Yuri said. "If it's any consolation, I'm lonely, too." And that something Yuri was certain of. He was all by himself in Bordeaux, had nary a friend or lover at his side, and was cold. He felt cold in his bed and he knew exactly what could remedy this cold bed.

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to contain myself once I see you again," Victor admitted. Deep down, Yuri felt the same. "Speaking of, when _will_ I be seeing you again? What day are you coming back?"

"I should be back by Tuesday," Yuri said.

"Can I come see you Tuesday night?" Yuri could feel that Victor was grinning with mischievous delight. Hypothetically speaking, Yuri would be okay with seeing Victor on Tuesday night if it wasn't for the fact that he was going to be stone tired on Tuesday afternoon. Plus, Yuri felt that Victor should be spending his time practicing.

So Yuri told him that: "Don't you have practice?"

"I can afford to skip a day," he said. Yuri rolled his eyes. He disagrees vehemently with that thought.

"Honestly?" Yuri said. "I'll probably be asleep for a while. I wouldn't be much fun for you." Yuri yawned again.

"I'm fine with just looking at you," Victor said. There was a silence between the two lovers. "In fact, hold on." Yuri knew what that meant and awaited the FaceTime notification and accepted it. "Turn on your light." Yuri reached over to the nightstand and turned on the light. He propped his phone against the nightstand and rubbed his eyes. "Солнышко," Victor said. He was grinning.

"It is I." Yuri smiled Victor was laying in bed, snuggled up to a pillow. "Are you going to bed?"

"I was planning on it, but then I decided that I needed to talk to you before I go to sleep." Yuri nodded and smiled.

"So you called me," Yuri said. He scratched his chest and smiled a small smile. "That makes me feel… overjoyed." Victor was grinning hard. "How was your day?"

"Boring and kind of lonely," Victor said. "My dear, the secrecy is killing me. Where are you?" Yuri rooted down in his bed and the blanket obscured his face. In that moment, he was grateful. "I can't see your face."

"I'm in Europe."

"Where?"

"France."

"Are you at the Bompard?" Victor asked. Yuri felt his heart beat faster. He tried to take deep breaths, but his body wasn't allowing that. "If you are, you could've told me. I can tell you how to meet skaters!" Yuri removed his blanket from his face. He was confused. Why is Victor happily volunteering this information? "Do you want to meet Georgi? I will give you Georgi's hotel room number."

"Victor, I –" Yuri wanted to tell Victor that he was there because _he_ was a skater, that he was the skater he's dreamed of meeting all along. But he got cut off.

"His room number is 707. He should be awake right now!"

"Victor, it's two in the morning. He's probably asleep," Yuri said. He was wide awake now.

Victor scoffed. "It's Georgi. Go to his room," he said. "If you don't go, I won't go on our next date." Yuri looked at his phone and sighed. He got up and stretched. In that moment, he decided that he was going to visit Georgi. Just so Victor goes on that next date with him. "Are you going to go?"

"I am."

"Aah! Bring your phone!" Yuri nodded. "He likes this musical called 'Hamilton' so if you don't know what to talk to him about, just talk about Hamilton." He got out of bed and stretched.

"I love Hamilton," Yuri said as he looked for his slippers. "Do you know what his favorite song is?" He found his slippers by his suitcase and put them on.

"No. I never watched Hamilton," Victor admitted. He felt a tinge of disappointment. "But if you like it, I should probably watch it." Yuri stretched again. He grabbed his phone and silently left his hotel room. He hoped that leaving the lights on wouldn't bother Seung-gil. "Also, if you want to meet skaters, it helps to have a room booked in the official hotel. That makes it a lot easier." Yuri walked to room 707 and knocked. He could hear someone sobbing to "Who Lives, Who Does, Who Tells Your Story."

"Hello?" Yuri said as he knocked on the door. Victor was giggling wildly. Georgi came to the door and he stood tall, like he wasn't just sobbing his eyes out to a story he already knew but was revisiting.

"Who are you?"

"Zhora!" Victor said. Georgi looked at Yuri's phone. Then he looked back at Yuri. "I told him to come and see you."

"Well, I don't want to see him," Georgi said. He closed his door in Yuri's face and Yuri stood there. "Go. Away."

"Knock on it again," Victor said. Yuri did as he was told.

"What do you _want_?" Georgi asked as he opened his door again.

"Uh, Victor tells me that you like Hamilton," Yuri muttered. Victor nodded. "What other musicals do you like?" Georgi shut the door again. Yuri looked at his phone; Victor was silent. "I should just go back to my room."

"Yes, you should," Georgi said from the other side. He started playing The Adams Administration. Georgi cracked his door open. "You should still go."

"Zhora," Victor said, "stop being pissy." Georgi rolled his eyes. "Let him talk to you!"

"How do you even know him?" Georgi asked.

"I met him in Detroit!" Victor gushed. "Isn't he a cutie?!" Georgi closed the door again. "Huh, I wonder why he's upset." Yuri knew exactly why Georgi didn't want to see him. Yuri currently placed above him. Of course Georgi wouldn't want to talk to him. "You can go back to bed, Yuri." Yuri walked back to his room and quietly opened the door. He silently got back into bed and placed his phone against the nightstand. "I'm sorry Zhora was such a sour puss tonight."

"Why did you call him Zhora?"

"It's a diminutive." Yuri nodded and laid on his back. "Yura would be one of the diminutives of your name." Victor smiled. "Мой Юра."

"What did you just say?" Yuri asked. He got himself situated in his bed and looked up at the ceiling. Yuri could take the change and ignore the ceiling threatening to close in on him and his roommate.

"'My Yura,'" he said. Yuri smiled. The sensation of being called _his_ Yura threatened to envelop him. "What time is it?"

"It's 2:44," Yuri said. "Also, you listen to Hamilton, usually."

"Pardon?"

"You usually listen to the Hamilton soundtrack." Yuri scratched his chest. "Hamilton tickets are really hard to acquire."

"Do you want to see it?" He asked. Yuri looked at Victor. He was sitting up now and he didn't have a shirt on. Yuri took a deep breath; he was going to avoid temptation tonight.

"I'd love to, but tickets," Yuri said. Victor nodded. "I should let you go to bed."

"That's my line!" Victor squealed. "You should meet Mila, too, but I think she's at a different hotel." The idea of meeting another one of Victor's rink mates was tempting, but he didn't want to get back out of bed. Or get another door slammed in his face.

"I think I'll let Mila be," Yuri said. "I don't want to get another door slammed in my face." He yawned.

"Understandable," he said. "I should hang up, but I don't want to. But you need to go back to bed." Victor rubbed his eyes. "This is difficult," Victor complained." I just want you to myself."

"And you'll have me to yourself on Friday," Yuri said.

"Is that when our next date is? Friday?" Yuri nodded. "I'm going to be all over you on Friday," Victor said. I'm going to take you home and bend you over and –"

"Victor, do not!" Yuri shouted; he could feel his face get all hot. Victor makes him all hot. He quickly looked over at Seung-gil; he's still sleeping.

"'Do not' what?" Victor asked. "We're both adults and it's nothing neither of us have done before." Victor smirked. "So, once I get you in my grasp, I'm going to have you."

"And I can't wait for you to have me," Yuri said. That sensation that threatened to envelop did exactly that this time. He didn't know what to do with himself now.

"You might need to start wearing a turtleneck after Friday."

"Victor, no," he said.

"I told you that I won't be able to contain myself when I see you," Victor said. "You might be sore, too." His turquoise eyes were shining when he winked at Yuri. "I can't wait for you to come home."

"I can't wait to be home."

"I'll let you go to bed now," Victor said. "Think of me while you go to sleep?"

"I will as long as you do the same," Yuri said with a smile.

"Of course I will." Victor ran his hand through his hair. "I love you." Victor ended the call. Yuri put his phone back on the nightstand and turned off the light. He had a lot to process now: Victor knowing he's at the Bompard, Georgi knowing he's in Bordeaux, Victor wanting to dig in his guts as soon as he gets back in Detroit, Victor saying "I love you" again. He could feel his insides churn in anticipation. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I hope my солнышко sleeps well ((sparkling heart emojis))**_  
 _ **: And I hope you sleep well, too ((grinning emoji))**_  
 _ **Victor: Think of me as you drift off into sleep**_  
 _ **: I will.**_

Yuri laid on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was yawning fiercely and his eyes were filled with sleep, but he couldn't will himself to be extra tired so he could just go back to sleep.

#

 **(Saturday, 14 November 2015 – 6:12pm, Bordeaux, France)**

"Ah, Yuri!" Guang Hong said. Yuri was flattening out his shirt. Guang Hong came into his dressing room and sat at the chair by the door.

"Does Leo know you're here?"

"He knows," Guang Hong said. "His mom is doing his hair right now and I said that I was coming to find you." Yuri nodded. "Do you need help with your hair? Phichit told me to help you with your hair. I'm going to help you with your hair." Yuri looked over at Guang Hong and he was beaming. The child bounced up and started to brush Yuri's hair back.

"How's your family?" Yuri asked as he shifted in his seat.

"They're fine," Guang Hong said. "They're not very enthused about me being here with Leo, but they'll get used to it. How's yours?"

"I haven't seen them in years," Yuri said. "I want to see them again. I miss them." Yuri was allowing himself to be genuinus for a moment. He loved his family terribly despite his inability to keep in contact in the way they would like. His parents may not have understood him very well or what he was and wasn't able to do, but, when it came to supporting his dance – then figure skating, then art – career, they were supportive. Mari was like that, too, at first. But then she started to put the pieces together and became more understanding of him. That led to the deepening of their relationship. One of the first things they did together after she started to understand him was to take him to an art museum in Fukuoka. That outing changed Yuri's life and how he relates to his sister.

"Ah, you should! I'm sure they'd love to see you!" Guang Hong put gel on his hands and finger combed Yuri's hair back. Yuri nodded.

 ** _Phichit: Take a picture of Guang Hong for me._**  
 ** _: On it._**

Yuri opened the camera app, held up his phone, and took flicks of him and Guang Hong. He sent them to Phichit and Phichit sent back thumbs up emojis. "Did Phichit ask you to send pictures?"

"Yes."

"Nice," Guang Hong said. He grabbed the comb and started to comb Yuri's hair. "Tell him that I'm doing your hair.

 _ **: He's doing my hair right now.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Adorable.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Guang Hong is such a sweet, pure child.**_  
 _ **: Just like my baby ((heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Phichit: ((crying emojis))**_

"So Leo's mom is his coach?" Guang Hong nodded. "Is she nice?"

"She's so great," he said. "Mama Soledad really likes me! That makes me happy."

"Is that her name? Soledad?" Guang Hong nodded. "It's pretty."

"It's María Soledad, but she doesn't like being called María so she said I can call her Soledad." Guang Hong ran the comb through Yuri's hair again. "But she's so motherly, you know? I just have to call her 'Mama' when I say her name."

"She sounds lovely," Yuri said. "I should get around to meeting Mama Soledad." Guang Hong was grinning. "What? What are you going to do?"

"Where's your coach?"

"He's in the bathroom."

"We can go see her!" Guang said as he wiped his hands on a towel. "I'm sure she'd love to see you." He was brimming with joy. Yuri wondered where people like Phichit and Guang Hong get their enthusiasm about life from. Who must he talk to about being an actual light being stuck in a mortal coil? "Let me do your eyeliner and we can go see her." Guang Hong grabbed Yuri's mascara and applied it. Then he started to do his eyeliner.

"You really like Mama Soledad," Yuri said, absently. Guang Hong didn't nod or say anything. He was busy trying to make Yuri's eyeliner sharp.

"Have you met Phichit's family?"

"We've Skyped before. Phichit's had to translate for me when they'd call." Guang Hong made a sound. "I think they like me. They were glad that Phichit made another Asian friend," Yuri said. Guang Hong started to do Yuri's other eye.

"You have such lovely cheekbones," Guang Hong said. He was smiling now.

"Thank… you?" Yuri said. He was unsure of what Guang Hong meant by "you have lovely cheekbones" but it didn't feel malicious in the slightest. Guang Hong had Yuri make a face.

"And I'm done! Now, let's see Mama Soledad." Guang Hong jumped up and grabbed Yuri. Yuri got up and followed Guang Hong to Leo's dressing room. "Mama Soledad!"

"Ah, you're back, Guang Hong," she said as she brushed Leo's hair. "And you've brought a friend." Yuri and Guang Hong saw her smile in the mirror. "Hello there."

"Hello," Yuri said sheepishly. "I'm Yuri." She closed her eyes and continued brushing. "It's nice to meet you." She opened her eyes and kept her eyes on the mirror. Yuri was standing by the door; Guang Hong had already taken a seat.

"It's nice to meet you, too, dear," she said. "Are you skating tonight?" Yuri nodded. "Leo and I wish you luck tonight, Yuri." Yuri couldn't see her face clearly, but she was smiling now. "Where are you from?"

"I'm Japanese, but I skate in America." She nodded.

"Do you enjoy it?"

"Greatly," Yuri said.

"Remember to do what you enjoy and live fully and passionately, dear," she said. Yuri looked at his feet. This is the second time he's gotten unsolicited life advice from someone while he was in Bordeaux. Instead of saying anything, Yuri smiled. "Guang Hong, take Yuri back to his dressing room. He needs to get back to his coach."

"Yes, Mama Soledad," Guang Hong said. He gleefully got up and grabbed Yuri by the arm.

"It was lovely to meet you, Yuri," Mama Soledad smiled. "Once again, Leo and I wish you luck."

"We do! Good luck, Yuri," Leo said. "Mama, ¿puede cocinar carnitas con arroz rojo para mí cuándo llegamos a casa? (Mom, can you cook carnitas with red rice when we get home?)" he asked his mother.

"Of course, my love," she said.

"Come on, Yuri, let's go," Guang Hong said. Yuri opened the door for them and they walked back to Yuri's dressing room. "So, did you like Mama Soledad?" Yuri nodded. "Good." Guang Hong opened the door to Yuri's dressing room. Coach Cialdini was sitting by the door. "Sorry, sir! I just had to borrow Yuri for a bit!"

"Go back to Leo," Coach Cialdini said. Guang Hong nodded and dashed out of the dressing room. Coach Cialdini closed the door and looked at Yuri. "You need to learn how to stay put. You have to stretch." Yuri nodded.

"Sorry," Yuri said.

"I'm glad I didn't allow Phichit to come along. I imagine that you'd be even worse."

"Probably," Yuri said. And so, Yuri stretched and warmed up until it was time to go on.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: My writing has taken a serious downturn and I am ashamed.


	46. Chapter 46

Ryuugazaki: It's been almost four months since I've started this fic.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Six  
 **(Saturday, 14 November 2015 – 8:30pm, Bordeaux, France)**

Yuri cried when he got his scores again. He couldn't believe that he placed in the way that he did. Coach Cialdini was overjoyed for him and Yuri's phone won't stop buzzing. Yuri's heart was beating frantically and he was shaking fiercely. He was in disbelief that this was actually happening to him. He was actually at an international skating event. He actually competed _in_ the event; he actually placed _in_ the event. Not only was he in disbelief, he was in a state of shock that many people would only _dream_ of being in.

Coach Cialdini gave Yuri his phone as he stepped off of the ice for the final time of the event. He had texts from all of his rink mates, praising him and showering him with love.

 _ **Adé: Papa!**_  
 _ **Adé: You killed it again!**_  
 _ **Adé: I'm so proud!**_  
 _ **Adé: [has sent an attachment]**_

Adé sent a selfie of them ugly crying. Their afro was patted down in some places and their under-eye bags were puffier than usual. Their dark brown eyes were wet with tears and the tears were leaving tracks on their gritty, oily face.

 _ **Guang Hong: Amazing performance!**_

The last time Yuri saw Guang Hong, he was waiting near the kiss and cry, looking useless. Leo's mother was stroking Leo's head as he got his scores.

 _ **Tal'at: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Tal'at: Masabeeh and I want to congratulate you on your scores!**_  
 _ **Tal'at: We are so happy.**_  
 _ **Tal'at: You bring us honor.**_

Tal'at and Masabeeh were in their dorm's living room, watching the Bompard together. They were in their Elmo and Cookie Monster onesies, snuggled together like the best friends they are. They had cans of Coke, a bowl of pretzels, and their covered feet on their table. They were beaming something fierce.

 _ **Khoudia: Babyyy!**_  
 _ **Khoudia: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Why are you so talented?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: How do you make music with your body like that?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: We should make a baby so our baby can be an amalgamation of what we are when we skate.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: And I don't even like kids.**_

Khoudia was grinning. Her eyes crinkled in delight. Her hair was still large – she said she was changing that soon – and her nose was as big as it was the day he left Detroit. Right now, Yuri wished that he could hear her laugh. It was unattractive, but it was uniquely hers.

 _ **Phichit: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Phichit: I told Khoudia to stop texting you about having a baby together but she wouldn't.**_  
 _ **Phichit: So I want to formally apologize for her being weird.**_  
 _ **Phichit: P.S. Let's make a baby, baby.**_

Phichit was rolling his eyes at Khoudia's texting antics. His hair was messy and his eyes were half shut. He must've been drinking a lot with Khoudia. Yuri wondered if Khoudia started dancing at any point in time that they were watching. Then he wondered if, at any point, Phichit made the suggestion that they watch anime instead of watching the events.

 _ **Christophe: I like your style.**_  
 _ **Christophe: It's very unique. Very… sexy.**_  
 _ **Christophe: I'm sure your boyfriend would be proud of you.**_

Yuri was looking at his medal as he laid in bed. It was gorgeous and Yuri couldn't stop staring at it. Yuri reached for his phone and took a picture of the medal as it rested on his chest. He looked at the photo, mesmerized. Yuri's phone rang; it was Mari.

"Hey there, little brother!" She said. "We're all proud of you."

"Thank you," Yuri said. His voice was weak despite Yuri's state of perpetual silence. "I'm still in disbelief that this is actually happening."

"Well, believe it, kid. It's happening. You're second place at the Trophée and everyone here is in a state of ecstasy."

"I am, too," Yuri said. "All I can do is bathe in this glorious feeling, Mari. I don't have anywhere to put the feelings."

"Draw it out like you used to," Mari said. "Unless you've found a new way to deal with ecstasy." Yuri closed his eyes and played with the strap on his medal.

"What are you implying, Mari?"

"Nothing," she said. "Unless you're implying that I'm implying something. Because, if so, we can explore that." Yuri was silent. He felt like he was ascending into a higher plane of existence. He didn't know what to do with this feeling.

"I don't think I want to do that right now."

"You just want to bask in your victory?"

"If that's what you call lying in bed when you feel like you're floating, then yes," Yuri said and opened his eyes again. Mari snickered. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," she said. "Maybe you can visit us for your spring break. Mom and Dad would love to see you." Yuri nodded. "They want to make katsudon for dinner in honor of you."

"That's lovely," Yuri said. He was still floating. "Did Mom do it already?"

"No, she said she'll do it tonight." Yuri nodded. "Yuko's wedding is coming up. Will you be able to make it?"

"I doubt it. Be sure to take a lot of pictures of her for me."

"I will," Mari said. "She's going to look beautiful. I can feel it." Yuri was stone silent again. "Should I let you be?" Mari asked. "You seem like you're still floating."

"I am," Yuri said. "Thank you for calling me, Mari. I love you." Yuri closed his eyes again and breathed. Mari said her piece and ended the call. He put his phone down. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Khoudia: Ma raison! How you feeling?**_  
 _ **: Like I'm floating.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: "Pride" floating or "spiritual experience" floating**_  
 _ **: A mixture of the two.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Sounds intense.**_  
 _ **: It is.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'll leave you be then. I don't want to kill the mood.**_

Yuri put his phone back down and looked at the ceiling. Khoudia was right when she guessed that his floating feeling was intense. He felt disconnected from his body, but oh so more aware of his body at the same time. His headspace was tingling and it felt like he was in a dream. He never wants this feeling to go away; instead, he wants to intensify it. "What can I do to make this feeling stronger?" he asked himself.

"Talk to Victor," a small voice within him said. "That's a surefire way to intensify the feeling." Right now, the feeling is so intense that he can barely speak like a normal person. Would intensifying that feeling really be the best idea?

"Yes," he said. "That's exactly what I want." He opened his eyes and decided to send him a text.

 _ **: Hey**_  
 _ **Victor: ((heart eyes emoji))**_  
 _ **: What?**_  
 _ **Victor: I can't believe you texted first.**_  
 _ **Victor: This makes my heart all fluttery**_  
 _ **: This is making my head feel dreamy.**_  
 _ **Victor: You're dreamy.**_

Victor's last text set Yuri's soul on fire. He took deep breaths and started to play with the strap of his medal.

 _ **: You set my soul alight.**_  
 _ **Victor: Glaciers melting in the dead of night**_  
 _ **Victor: Wyd rn? I'm in class.**_  
 _ **: Text me when you get out of class then. I don't want to disturb you.**_

Yuri put his phone down and looked at the ceiling again. He took off the medal and put it in his carry on bag. Then he just sat on the floor. He didn't want to move nor did he feel the need to. Somehow, some way, he reached a new height with his ecstasy by just being on the floor. He's going to be here for a while.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm getting ready to write the thing!


	47. Chapter 47

Ryuugazaki: So my favorite band played near my house recently and they played all of my favorites.

God, take me now. I don't want to live anymore.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Seven  
 **(Sunday, 15 November 2015 – 9:35am, Bordeaux, France)**

It's the last day of the Bompard. Yuri's floating feeling eventually subsided. Right now he was in a local café, journaling about last night. He also decided to switch it up and get a French vanilla latte. He doesn't like coffee products that much, but he wanted to try something different today. When Yuri got his latte, he took a picture of it. He included his journal in the picture, too. It fits the coffee shop aesthetic.

Yuri decided to text Khoudia despite the fact that it's 3am in America.

 _ **: Our next event is next week.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Yeah, I know.**_

Yuri's phone rang. "I can't believe that our event is next week," Khoudia said. Yuri nodded. "Are you excited, silver medal winner?"

"A little bit." Yuri said. He took a sip of his latte. "To think that we're going to be in Russia together in a few days. It feels unreal."

"Well believe it!" She giggled. "I think we're staying in the same hotel." Yuri looked out of the window. He saw two teens together and it made his heart hurt. "Once I remember where I wrote down my hotel, I'll tell you. Imagine if we're on the same floor!" Yuri could feel Khoudia smile. "I'll be sure to come visit you every day. We can have sleepovers–"

"I don't think the ISU would allow a sleepover."

"We don't have to tell them about it," she said. Yuri rolled his eyes and smiled. "We can even go sightseeing together!"

"That'd be great," Yuri said. "But first, is Phichit awake?"

"Nope. He fell asleep hours ago." Khoudia sucked her teeth. Then a picture from Khoudia came through; it's of Phichit sleeping. "I'm in the living room watching anime."

"What were you watching."

"Free!" Khoudia said. "I'm almost done with season two." Yuri nodded. "I am still in love with Rin and I am still shipping Makoto and Haru." Yuri giggled. "After I finish Free!, I think I'm going to watch that anime you were telling me about."

"I tell you about a lot of animes, Khoudia. You're going to have to be specific."

"It's the one with the demiboy and roses," Khoudia said. Yuri took a sip of his latte and touched his chin. Yuri could name about five gender non-conforming characters and only one of them was a demiboy.

"Rose of Versailles, you mean?"

"Yeah, that one." Yuri started to draw a rose in his journal.

"Don't start watching it yet. I want to watch it with you," Yuri said. It's been a while since he's watched Rose of Versailles.

"Fine. I'll watch Madoka Magica," Khoudia said.

"No! Do _not_ watch that," he stressed. The woman at the other table looked at Yuri. He felt his insides churn in embarrassment. "Anything but Madoka Magica. Watch Death Note or something."

"I already finished Death Note."

"Well finish it again," Yuri said. Khoudia sucked her teeth. The woman at the other table looked away from him. "Just don't watch Rose of Versailles or Madoka Magica." Phichit had Yuri watch Madoka Magica with him over the summer because he was talking about being a magical girl. Yuri fancies himself as a lovely magical girl; Phichit agrees. "How's your brother?"

"Which one? The child or the aspiring producer?"

"Isn't the aspiring producer also a child?"

"Well, yeah, but the child is a literal child," Khoudia said. "And my brothers are fine. Annoying, but fine." Yuri nodded and took a sip of his latte. It's cooled down; he took another sip. "What are you doing?"

"I'm in a café right now." Khoudia made a sound. "That's why I can't be as loud as I usually am."

"When are you usually loud?" Khoudia asked. Yuri chuckled. "I should really find that notebook. Hold on, ma raison." Khoudia put down her phone and went to her bags. Yuri continued to draw the rose in his journal. It was turning out well.

"Can you hear me?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah!" Khoudia bellowed as she was checking her bags. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just wondering if you could hear me," Yuri said.

"Question: Do you think that if I ask Adeola and Fatou to help me pack for next week while I get my equipment, they'll do it?" Khoudia asked.

"Depends. Does Adeola know that your short routine is about her fiancé?"

"No."

"Then probably," Yuri said. "Speaking of, why _don't_ you like him?" Khoudia has brought him up before, but she never said why she doesn't like him.

"He unnerves me," Khoudia plainly said. "And his younger brother is even more unnerving. I don't like either of them and I don't think he's a good fit for our family." Yuri took a sip of his drink. He was starting to grow accustomed to the taste.

"Why don't you just tell Adeola that?"

"I tried. She wouldn't listen." Khoudia sucked her teeth. "But she claims that she loves him. So I guess I'm stuck with having a creeper for a brother-in-law." Khoudia huffed. "But maybe I won't have to see him once they get married. I'm hoping I won't have to see him _at all_ , but once every year would probably be doable. But am I going to only see him once a year? _No_! Because they're probably going to move somewhere nearby and they'll be celebrating the holidays with us." Khoudia took breaths. "I hate him so much, Yuri. Oh so much."

"I can tell, ma petite sirène." Khoudia exhaled deeply.

"Look at you, being all French and fancy," Khoudia said and giggled. Yuri heard pages turn. "Okay, I _think_ I… found the notebook! Yeah! I found it!" Yuri took a big sip of his latte. "Okay," Khoudia said, "I'm going to be at the Go-gostin…Gostinitsa Arena." She paused after she sounded it out. "Is that even a hotel?!"

"I don't know. You have your computer nearby, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Look it up," Yuri said. He went to the notes section of his phone and scrolled through them. "I think I'm staying in that hotel, too. I'm checking my notes right now." Yuri found the notes. "Yeah, I'm staying there, too."

"Oh, excellent!" Yuri nodded. "What floor will you be on?"

"Sixth, I think."

"Same!" Khoudia cried. "Floor mates!" Yuri finished the rose and put his journal back in his bag. "It's like the ISU _wants_ this sleepover to happen!" Yuri smiled. He took another large sip of his latte. "If only Phichit and Adé could come with us," Khoudia lamented.

"It's a tragedy, yes, but it's probably for the best. We wouldn't be focused on anything at all if they came with us." Khoudia made a sound in agreement.

"Imagine if we did better _because_ they were there," Khoudia said with a laugh. "Khoudia Bâ Sène and Yuri Katsuki rank first place in their divisions. Their secret? Adé Pie and Phichit Chulanont's combined presence at the Rostelecom Cup." Khoudia cackled; Yuri was grinning.

 _ **Chris: Good morning, cutie.**_

"Hold on, I just got a text from Chris." Yuri went to the app to respond.

 _ **: Good morning.**_

"Who's Chris?"

"Christophe Giacometti."

"How did he get your number?" Khoudia asked.

"Victor gave it to me," Yuri said. He took one final sip of his latte and sighed. He enjoyed that.

"Why am I the last to learn about anything?" Khoudia questioned. "I genuinely feel like you and Phichit conspired to keep this knowledge away from me."

"Ma perfection, I would never do that to you." Khoudia sucked her teeth.

"Mm-hm," she said.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

"I do, but I'm still upset," Khoudia admitted. "I'll get over it, though. Maybe."

"I should let you go to bed," Yuri said. "Isn't it like 4am there?"

"It is," she said.

"Thank you for calling me this morning," Yuri said. "I needed that." Yuri smiled and buttoned his coat. He put on his bag and threw away his latte as he left. He wanted to do some sightseeing today since Khoudia found his cemetery pictures unsatisfactory. First, he wanted to go the Pont de Pierre. Then he wanted to go to a few churches, the Porte Cailhau, and the Bordeaux National Opera. Today should be a fun day for Yuri. Yuri's phone started to ring and he picked up, not knowing who it was. "Yeah?"

"Hey cutie," Chris said.

"Aah, it's you," Yuri said.

"Who did you expect it to be?" Chris asked. "Vitya?" Yuri bit his lip. Is "Vitya" a nickname that Yuri didn't know about? He didn't have time to ponder that; Chris is expecting a response.

"No. I just didn't expect you to call is all." Yuri stopped at a light. "How are you?"

"So far, I'm pretty good. I just fed Jana."

"And how is Jana?" Yuri yawned.

"She's doing great. Do you want to talk to her?" Chris asked.

"Sure," Yuri said. Chris called for his cat and he gave her the phone. She butted her head against the microphone. "Hello Jana. I am glad that you're doing well." Jana meowed and butted her head against the microphone again. "Thank you, Jana." Yuri smiled. Jana head butted the phone again. "So kind, so caring," Yuri said.

"I know, right?!" Chris gushed. "Jana is honestly a perfect being. I love her so much."

"I can understand why." The light changed and Yuri resumed walking. The sidewalks were nearly deserted. Yuri slowed down his pace; he doesn't have to walk like he's running out of time. Not right now, at least.

"What are you doing, cutie?" Chris inquired.

"I'm going sightseeing," Yuri told him. Chris made an inquisitive sound. "I'm going to the Pont de Pierre."

"Is French architecture something you're fascinated by?"

"No, it was just a suggested spot for tourists so I decided to come and take photos," Yuri said. "Also, my friend is disappointed in my cemetery photos." There was a beat on Chris' end.

"Why were you at a cemetery?" Yuri mentally kicked himself for even bringing up cemeteries. No one seems to know how to approach the topic and Yuri didn't know how exactly he would explain to people why he would dare to step foot in one.

So Yuri said: "Cool statues." Yuri found the statues to be spectacular and worthy of photos. They would be right in place on his aesthetics blog.

"I see," Chris said after a beat. He doesn't 'see.' "And where are you going after you see the Pont de Pierre?"

"A few churches, the national opera, the castle monument." Yuri stopped at another light. "How's Switzerland?" Yuri asked.

"Lovely, as usual," Chris said. "You should come to Zürich. I think you'd enjoy it." Yuri nodded. "The city is beautiful at night. Dominique loves it." Yuri looked down the street to see if any cars were coming; they weren't and he started walking.

"Is that your partner's name? Dominique?"

"Yes. It fits him." Yuri could feel Chris' smile through the phone. "Oof! Jana returned!" Yuri chuckled. Chris set the phone down and stroked his cat's back. "Jana," Chris cooed. "Jana, Jana, Jana." Yuri chuckled again. "Cutie, I'm going to have to call you back. Jana is here and I'm going to sing to her. Bye, cutie!" Chris ended the call. Yuri decided to listen to music as he walked. He settled for the Nine Inch Nails' cover of Memorabilia. For now, at least. He'll switch to The Cure or Bauhaus eventually, but, right now, he's going to bask in the sensory abuse.

#

 **(Sunday, 15 November 2015 – 6:30pm, Bordeaux, France)**

Coach Cialdini called Yuri back to the hotel. He said that he has to attend the banquet. Yuri would rather _not_ do that, but his coach wouldn't take "no" for an answer. So Yuri put on the best of what Phichit picked out for him and passed the time working on a sketch of a tree he saw and listening to Warm Leatherette on repeat. Yuri kept muttering "join the car crash set" as he tried to fix a branch. Phichit actually hates this song because of its simplicity and repetitious nature so Yuri doesn't really listen to it when he's busy drawing at home. Phichit is, however, usually okay with Cabaret Voltaire. Then Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I can't believe you're going to be home soon.**_

Yuri reread the text, unsure of how to respond. But then he settled for something simple.

 _ **: I can't believe it either.**_  
 _ **Victor: Also, I have to tell you something.**_

Yuri paused Warm Leatherette. He felt his heartbeat quicken. What could Victor possibly want to tell him? That he knows his little secret? That he lied about loving him? That he's actually really tired of him and would rather have Yuri lose his number? Yuri's mind was running 100 miles an hour. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I'll call you.**_

Yuri's phone started to ring and he picked up. "I just wanted to tell you that I'll be at my event on Friday so we can't go out then." Yuri nodded. "However, we can go after class on Wednesday. If you want, that is." A smile broke out on Yuri's face. He was relieved that it wasn't anything that his anxious mind was conjuring up.

"What time do you have in mind for Wednesday?"

"After art history. Unless you're doing something important in your math class." Yuri thought. He doesn't have to do anything too important in math. His math presentation isn't due until the last Wednesday in November and he's been working on it consistently in class since October.

"That'd be nice," Yuri said. He hates the idea of skipping class, but he's also looking forward to this date.

"Still the tea house and the bookstore, right?"

"Yes," Yuri said. He started to look at and deconstruct his socks. "The tea house isn't far from Wayne so we should be able to walk there." Victor made a sound of acknowledgment.

"How's the last leg of the Bompard?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm not there."

"That is disrespectful to every single ice dancer I have ever met," Victor jokingly said. "Ice dancing is very interesting."

"I know it's interesting," Yuri said. "I just don't want to watch it tonight." Yuri broke his eye contact with his socks. "Victor." His voice was a whisper, but Yuri was going to make himself confront the topic of his skating career. He was going to say something before he could chicken out of it.

"Yes?"

"When I come back, we need to talk," Yuri said. He felt a lump form in his throat. "It's about something really important."

"Any hints on what that could be?"

"No," Yuri said. "I didn't want to say 'we need to talk' because that'll just make the both of us anxious and it's overly dramatic, but we really do have to talk. I'm sorry I had to word it that way."

"It's fine," Victor said. "Also, turn on your read receipts." Yuri deadpanned. "Out of all the things he could say, he tells me to turn on my read receipts?" Yuri asks himself. "And take me off of 'Do Not Disturb.'" Yuri looked at his phone.

"Where did you get the idea that I have you on DND?"

"Your texting is infrequent."

"I'm in France. And I don't have you on DND," Yuri said. "Speaking of DND, do you like it?"

"Why would I like being put on DND?"

"No, no, the _game_ DND. You know, Dungeons  & Dragons," Yuri said. When he used to dorm, he would play it with his dorm mates. He liked it a lot and hated having to stop when he moved in with Phichit. They tried to set up their own dungeon, but they didn't know enough people to have one. "Have you played it?"

"I'm not familiar with it," Victor said. "Is it fun?"

"I enjoy it," Yuri said. "I wish I could play it again. If you ever have the chance to play it, take it. It's fun." Yuri yawned. Today has worn him out. "How's your day going so far?" Yuri asked.

"Good. I finished Breakfast at Tiffany's," Victor said. "I don't know what to read now."

"The Stranger by Albert Camus," Yuri suggested. "It's a quick read."

"I don't think I have that," Victor said. There was a weighty silence in the air. "Maybe I'll get it on Wednesday. Do you like it?"

"I enjoyed it," Yuri said. He opened his journal again and started to read it. "I related a lot to Meursault."

"Do you like philosophy?" Victor inquired.

"It's something I think about from time to time," Yuri admitted. "I have a copy of Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra. I can give it to you when I come back to Detroit."

"Don't forget to bring your sketchbook."

"I never forget my sketchbook," Yuri said. This was true. He usually keeps his sketchbook on hand.

"Good," Victor said. "I'd like to watch you draw tomorrow. If that's okay with you, that is."

"I'll think about it," Yuri said. "Are we going to do this and that tomorrow?" Yuri felt his face get warm. He couldn't believe that he was being straightforward and asking that type of question. To Victor, no less.

"If 'this and that' is what I think it means, yes. If you want to, that is." Yuri felt himself get warmer. "Do you miss me that much?"

"I do," Yuri admitted. He took a deep breath. "I miss you a lot."

"I miss you, too," Victor said. "I can't wait to see you."

"The feeling is mutual." Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Ciao Ciao: Where are you?**_  
 _ **: My hotel room.**_  
 _ **: Just like you asked me to be.**_

"What were you doing before I called?" Victor asked.

"I was working on a sketch of a tree I saw earlier." Yuri turned to the page with the tree on it. He put his phone on speaker. "It's still not done, though," he said.

"I bet it looks nice."

"Not really. It looks gross."

"Show me?"

"I think not," Yuri said. "There's incriminating evidence near that sketch and I don't want you to see it."

"What haven't I seen before?" Victor asked. "I've seen the phrases, the self-portraits, and the sketches of us. What could be so terrible that I haven't seen?"

"Well," Yuri's voice was a whisper. What does he say that doesn't incriminate himself some more? "You don't need to know about it." Victor chuckled.

"You tried," Victor said. "I'll find out eventually." Those words resonated within Yuri. He's going to have to know eventually.

"You will. In time." Yuri scratched his throat and closed his eyes. "In time," he thought.

#

 **(Sunday, 15 November 2015 – 8:45pm, Bordeaux, France)**

"Oh, Celestino, is this your skater?" A woman asked. She was Khoudia's height and her hair was short, brown, and straight. She seemed to be nice. Coach Cialdini nodded.

"Just one of them. The rest are in Detroit."

"I see, I see," the woman said. "And I'm presuming that Camille and Khadijah are there?" It left a weird taste in Yuri's mouth to hear someone refer to Adé and Khoudia like that. "How are they?"

"Khadijah and Camille are fine, too." Coach Cialdini patted Yuri's shoulder.

"Will Camille be skating next season? I missed seeing her on ice." The woman smiled. Yuri internally rolled his eyes in disgust.

"I don't know if Camille will be returning to skating next season. We haven't discussed that yet."

"Well, I hope she returns," the woman said with a smile. "And you," she started, "you're Yuri Katsuki, right?" Yuri nodded tentatively. "Your short program was very lovely. What was the song that you used for it?"

"I skated to Yiruma's Heart," Yuri said. He felt like his insides were trembling. Coach Cialdini patted his shoulder again.

"That was such a lovely song." Yuri nodded. "Congratulations on your win." Yuri nodded again. "I can't wait to see your exhibition skate tomorrow." Yuri feigned a smile and remained silent.

"Alyson, how have you been? And Justine and Sebastian?" Coach Cialdini asked. He had a genuine smile on his face. "How long has Coach Cialini known Alyson?" he wondered.

"Justine and Sebastian are fine. Justine will be at the NHK next week. And Sebastian will be at the Rostelecom Cup."

"Good, good," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri was bored out of his mind. "Yuri and Khadijah are going to be at the Rostelecom Cup, too." Yuri took out his phone and started to text Phichit. "But that doesn't tell me how you've been."

 _ **: I'm bored. Save me.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Just draw or something.**_  
 _ **: Can't. At the banquet. Slowly dying.**_  
 _ **: Rest in Pieces Yuri Katsuki**_  
 _ **"I've been fine, Celestino," Alyson said.**_  
 _ **: Ciao Ciao is talking to this coach**_  
 _ **: At least I think she's a coach**_  
 _ **: Idk**_  
 _ **Phichit: Send pics**_

"Hey, can I have a picture of you two?" Yuri cut in, his hands shaking. Coach Cialdini and Alyson posed for a flick and Yuri sent it to Phichit. "Thank you."

 _ **: So?**_  
 _ **Phichit: That's Ursula's coach.**_  
 _ **: And Ursula is…?**_  
 _ **Phichit: She's a junior skater.**_  
 _ **Phichit: She also coaches Justine, Sebastian, and Parker.**_  
 _ **: I don't know who any of those people are**_  
 _ **Phichit: Ofc you don't.**_  
 _ **Phichit: That's why you need to use your Instagram more.**_

"Yuri, why don't you socialize with some skaters while I catch up with Alyson?" Coach Cialdini suggested. Yuri nodded meekly and looked around the room. He spotted Georgi and Seung-Gil in the corner, looking out of place. So Yuri sat at their table.

"It's you again," Georgi said. Yuri nodded. "Go away."

"I can't. My coach told me to socialize."

"Socialize somewhere else." Yuri looked at Seung-gil. He seemed detached from the conversation and from everything else around him.

 _ **: Yeeeeaaah, I'm just gonna die tonight**_  
 _ **: Nice lmao**_

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I will never be over this. Ever. Rest in Pieces me


	48. Chapter 48

Ryuugazaki: I have a confession…

I binge watch Free! 50% Off when I write the chapters. I'm still waiting for episode 20, but, knowing Octopimp, it's going to come out like three days before Christmas.

* * *

Chapter Forty-Eight  
 **(Tuesday, 17 November 2015 – 2:10pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri and Coach Cialdini were back in Detroit. The exhibition skate went well, but they were stone tired by the time they touched down. Yuri's last two days were spent drawing and watching the other skaters. Yuri was glad to be back home. When he got back to the apartment, he was greeted by all of his rink mates, a box of pizza, and a sheet cake.

"Did all of you miss class for this?" Yuri asked as he put his bags by the door.

"Yes," Khoudia said. "We said we had a family emergency."

"So you're skipping class _and_ lying now?" Yuri hung up his coat and took off his shoes. "What am I going to do with you kids?"

"Shut up and eat this pizza," Adé said. They took a bite of their slice and smiled. Yuri stayed by the door.

"I'll eat with you on the condition that this is just as much for Khoudia as it is for me." Khoudia made a face. "She did great at her event and she deserves this, too." Yuri walked over to Khoudia and kissed her forehead. He patted her head gently and she was grinning. "Let me put my medal away." Phichit stopped Yuri as he tried to walk down their hall.

"Aren't you going to give me a kiss?" Phichit asked; Yuri looked down at Phichit. He picked him up, spun him around, and gave him a kiss. "Ah! I've missed you!" Phichit was grinning from ear to ear and snug in Yuri's arms.

"I've missed you, too," Yuri said.

"Gay!" Adé yelled. They got a laugh out of Khoudia and Phichit.

"I'll let you go in our room," Phichit said. Yuri let go of Phichit and went in his room. He sat on his bed and breathed. He wanted to have some time to himself before he eats pizza and cake and drops due to exhaustion. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: Just wondering if you're home yet.**_  
 _ **: I am.**_  
 _ **Victor: ((smirking emoji))**_

Yuri chuckled and took off his hoodie. He placed it on the back of their desk chair. Then Yuri started to hear footsteps come towards the room. "Dad!" Adé stood in the doorway. "You haven't given me a hug yet!"

"I know, I know. Just give me a –" Adé jumped on Yuri, wrapping their legs around Yuri's waist. "I was going to say that you can just give me a few moments before you decide to jump on me. But I guess this is fine, too."

"Spin me around," Adé said.

"What?" Adé unwrapped their legs from around Yuri's waist and stood at Yuri's chest. Adé was about 5'4 –just an inch or two shorter than Phichit – and close to 120lbs.

"Pick me up and spin me around," Adé insisted. "Please?" They were smiling and Yuri couldn't find it in him to say 'no' to their son. So Yuri picked Adé up and spun them around like they were a small child. Adé was beaming now. "Okay, now we can go back to the others." Adé pulled Yuri out of the room and sat back in his spot. Phichit had a spot waiting for Yuri. That spot was between him and Khoudia.

"So, how was Bordeaux?" Masabeeh asked. "Was it fancy?"

"It was okay," Yuri said. "I walked around a cemetery. Went to a museum. Walked in one of the parks."

"Yuri, I'm still not over how you took pictures of a cemetery and thought that I'd like them," Khoudia said. "I mean what the actual fuck, Yuri." She took a bite of pizza. Phichit was taking an offguard of Khoudia.

"The cemetery looked interesting!"

"Yuri, you took pictures of someone's tombstone."

"It was a nice looking tombstone." Khoudia took another bite of her slice and looked at Yuri as she chewed. "But did you see the statues?" Khoudia deadpanned. "I also went to other places on Sunday. Do you the pictures I took?" Khoudia was silent. "I'll send you those. Let me get my phone." Yuri got up and went back in the room. Yuri forgot to pick up his phone because Adé insisted on being spun. He got his phone and came back to his spot. Yuri sent the forty photos he took to Khoudia.

"Are these normal photos or are they artist photos?" Khoudia asked.

"Is there a difference?" Yuri asked. He put his phone on the coffee table and grabbed a slice of pizza.

"With you, there's a huge difference," Phichit said.

"Look, even if I wanted to, I couldn't manipulate the scenery in such a way that it would _become_ an artist photo," Yuri said. He took a bite of pizza. Khoudia rolled her eyes. "How do I manipulate an entire building into a Dalí? You can't do that, really."

"You are such a liar right now," Phichit said. "If you were painting–"

"If!" Yuri said. "If I was painting."

"You would easily be able to do the building in such a way that it would be a Dalí. Also, you can do anything if you're high enough." Yuri nodded in agreement. "Yuri," Phichit said, "you don't understand. You can do _anything_ if you're high enough." Yuri started chuckling.

"Oh no," Tal'at said. "Are you guys going to start doing drugs, too?!"

"What? No!" Yuri said. "Unless someone brought weed because then that's a hard maybe." Yuri and Khoudia made eye contact. "Don't look at me like that, Khoudia." Adé was giggling. "Shut up, Adé."

"Mom, do you see how he's treating me right now?" Adé said. They were referring to Khoudia. They were the two oldest skaters at the rink so they've been dubbed "Mom" and "Dad." They don't mind it.

"Yuri, shut up," Khoudia said. Yuri rolled his eyes.

Victor: So wyd rn?

Phichit passed Yuri his phone. "Thank you, baby," Yuri said. "And, Masabeeh, Bordeaux was nice." Masabeeh nodded. "I almost wish that I had more time to absorb it. Almost."

 _ **: I'm eating pizza with a few friends.**_  
 _ **Victor: I thought you were going to go straight to bed.**_  
 _ **: I thought so, too. This was last minute.**_  
 _ **: But at least there's cake.**_

Yuri put his phone back down and Phichit picked it up. Yuri looked at Phichit as he unlocked his phone and went to his text messages. "Are you really going to do this?" Yuri asked.

"Yes," Phichit said. "I'm curious."

"You could just ask me, you know." Yuri took another bite of pizza. "I'm literally right here."

"I know you are, ma poupée," Phichit said as he went to the top of the log. "I'm just going to read your texts now and ask later." Yuri shrugged and took another bite of pizza. His brain started to alternate between the questions Phichit could possibly be thinking up and trying to remain in the moment.

And, so far, for once, remaining in the moment was winning.

#

 **(Tuesday, 17 November 2015 – 6:18pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Everyone left an hour ago. Phichit left to take Khoudia home at the same time that Adé's partner called and started to make a scene with them. Adé was irritated by their partner's actions and Yuri had to calm them down. They were good after about twenty minutes of having their head patted by Yuri.

But now Yuri was laying in bed, playing with his hair. He was surprised that he didn't drop when he was eating with his rink mates.

"So how was it?" Victor asked. Yuri had called him after he got Adé situated.

"It was nice," Yuri said. He stifled his yawn. "Khadijah made a cake."

"Was it good?" Victor asked.

"It was great." Yuri rolled on his side. "I'm glad she was able to make it," Yuri said. One day Yuri's going to have to explain that Khoudia's name isn't pronounced "Khadijah" and that she only opts for "Khadijah" when it's easier than sitting down and explaining it.

"One day I'd like to meet her."

"You will," Yuri said. "She's excited to meet you." Yuri yawned into his pillow.

"Does she know that it's me?" Victor asked.

"She does now," Yuri said and closed his eyes. He hoped he wouldn't fall asleep as he was on the phone. "I asked her to keep quiet about it. She agreed."

"That's good," Victor said. "Am I going to see you tomorrow?" Yuri yawned again.

"You should if I don't oversleep." Yuri rubbed his eyes and opened them again. "I'm so exhausted."

"Then go to sleep. I'll call you in the morning, if you want." Yuri yawned again. "What time do you usually wake up?" Victor asked.

"About 5:45," Yuri said. "Sometimes I wake up earlier." Victor was making an unidentifiable sound. "What?"

"And you do this every day?" Victor asked.

"Every weekday," Yuri said. He closed his eyes again.

"That's honestly terrifying. Is that why you're in class long before it's set to begin?"

"Yes." Victor made a garbling sound. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just in shock. I couldn't imagine waking up at the crack of dawn like that every day." Yuri chuckled. "I should let you sleep now, shouldn't I?" Yuri nodded. "Good night, солнышко."

"Good night, Victor," Yuri said. "I'll see you tomorrow." Yuri ended the call. He rolled on to his stomach and placed his face on his pillow. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: You hung up on me ((angry emoji))**_  
 _ **: Whoops ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**_  
 _ **: I thought you were done.**_  
 _ **Victor: I wasn't**_  
 _ **: I'm sorry. Do you want me to call you back?**_  
 _ **Victor: No, it's fine.**_

Yuri put his phone down and started to run his fingers through his hair. "Phichit should be home soon," he thought as he fell asleep.

#

 **(Tuesday, 17 November 2015 – 7:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri," Yuri heard someone say. It sounds like Phichit. "Wake up." Phichit cleared his throat and then there was silence. Something grazed Yuri's face. "Anime lesbians."

"Don't _ever_ bring up anime lesbians around me," Yuri said. Phichit snickered. Yuri opened his eyes and rubbed them. "Ah, Bitchit." Phichit was sitting on Yuri's bed, his hands by Yuri's head. He was smiling. Yuri reached up and stroked Phichit's face.

"I'm home now."

"I can tell," Yuri said. "Khoudia's home with her family, I presume?" Phichit nodded. "How's Mama Awa?" Mama Awa is Khoudia's mother. She's not usually seen _not_ in her niqab, but she's very nice. She likes it when Yuri or Phichit take time out of their day to take Khoudia home. Awa has remarked to Yuri and Phichit that she worries about Khoudia a lot and that she's glad that she doesn't have to worry too much when Khoudia is with one of them.

"Mama is doing fine." Yuri smiled when Phichit called her "mama."

"And Aida? Yande?"

"They are adorable as ever. Aida is still doing ballet. And Yande is just starting." Yuri nodded and smiled. "They told me to give you a hug." Phichit pulled Yuri up and into his arms. "So there. I delivered their message to you."

"Thank you. I am glad that they sent such a dutiful messenger to me." Phichit smiled. "Now, you said that you wanted to talk?" Phichit nodded. "Do you want to start now?"

"I want to put on my pajamas first." Yuri nodded. Phichit started to strip down to his underwear and put his clothes on his bed. Then he went back to the dresser, looking for pajamas to wear. Yuri whistled. "Shush."

"Never," Yuri sweetly said.

"If you're going to look, you better be taking me out for dinner," Phichit said.

"Isn't it 'if you're going to touch, you could at least take me out for dinner'?" Yuri asked. "Because, if that is the case, I'll take you out."

"You have a boyfriend. I'm going to tell," Phichit said as he took out a pair of pastel plaid pajama pants. Then he took out a pastel yellow t-shirt. "Speaking of your boyfriend, what are you going to tell him about us?" Phichit pulled the t-shirt over his head and stepped into his pajama pants. "He's going to ask questions about us and I don't want this to end terribly for you."

"No clue on what I'm going to tell him," Yuri said. He scooched over to make space for Phichit. "It hasn't come up yet so I haven't thought about it."

"You can't keep avoiding everything, you know. Aren't you working on not avoiding things with Luzia?"

"I know and I am." Phichit pulled up his pajama pants and crawled into bed next to Yuri. Phichit turned to face Yuri, propping his head up with his left hand. "I'm trying."

"I don't doubt that you are, ma poupée." Yuri was laying on his back, his hands behind his head. "Now, about those texts, I need to know everything that happened while you were away from me." Yuri smiled. "So, Victor wants to go on another date?" Yuri nodded. "I thought you said that the first one went terribly."

"It _did_ , but apparently he either doesn't care or it didn't go terribly in his mind," Yuri muttered. He closed his eyes.

"I think I'm going to trust Victor's judgment on this. You're kind of an unreliable narrator." Yuri opened his eyes and looked up at Phichit. "And you're _sure_ nothing happened on your first date?" Yuri nodded and looked at Phichit's clavicles. "He has nice collarbones," Yuri thought. "Yuri, you are such a liar."

"What do you mean?"

"You know _exactly_ what I mean," Phichit said in his simmering ire.

"Victor told me that he loves me," Yuri said, changing the subject. Phichit suddenly cooled down.

"What?" He whispered.

"He said that he loves me." Yuri moved closer to Phichit. "I don't know what to do." Phichit tenderly stroked Yuri's face, caressing his lips with his thumb. "I didn't know how to respond so I hung up when he said it."

"Yuri, _no_ , you don't do that!" Phichit said and pinched Yuri's cheek. "You're supposed to say 'I love you' back!"

"I don't _know_ if I love him! It's only November!"

"Yuri, you love him. Arguably more than me." Yuri moved to stroke Phichit's face.

"Are you jealous?" Yuri asked him. "Come on, tell me." Phichit was silent. "If you are, you don't have to be. There's never going to be anyone like you and I won't allow anyone or anything to come in between us." Yuri sat up and leaned in to give Phichit a kiss. Phichit put his hand over Yuri's mouth.

"Victor's still your boyfriend."

"I doubt that."

"Be honest with yourself," Phichit said. "What was that Latin word you taught me? Genuinus?" Yuri was silent. "Be genuinus with yourself." Phichit looked Yuri in the eye and removed his hand from Yuri's mouth.

"I like Victor," Yuri plainly said. "I like him a lot even though it's only November." Phichit nodded. "I don't _want_ to refer to him as my boyfriend because it's November, but I think that's what he thinks we are." Phichit nodded again. "Are you going to proceed to give me bad advice?"

"No, I was just going to sit and listen."

"Were you really, mon lapin?" Yuri asked and placed his head on his pillow again. Phichit placed his head next to Yuri on his pillow. Phichit stroked Yuri's hand with his index finger and smiled.

"Well, maybe just a little bit, lapinou," Phichit said. He chuckled. "You can barely keep your eyes open."

"Can we wrap up the conversation now?"

"Yes, because you're going to nod out on me," Phichit said. "Just be honest with yourself and stop avoiding things." Yuri closed his eyes. "That would be enough." Phichit kissed Yuri's forehead and snuggled up to him.

"This is enough."

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I also listen to the Hamilton soundtrack OST when I write.


	49. Chapter 49

Ryuugazaki: Also, this chapter is late because I decided to watch Howl's Moving Castle and I forgot to upload and then I felt weird about this chapter and hesitated on uploading.

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Chapter Forty-Nine  
 **(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 7:58am, Detroit, Michigan)**

It's Wednesday. Yuri was at his desk, looking up at the ceiling. Despite being exhausted yesterday and actually sleeping, he was exhausted today, too. Yuri got an iced coffee this morning, thinking that he would be lucky enough to be able to stay awake with it. Yuri was journaling and drinking his coffee. "I should've gotten more sugar in this," Yuri thought, "It's obvious that two sugars weren't enough." Yuri looked down at his sketchbook; he decided that this was done writing for now. He's slowly learning how to be genuinus with his journal. He put his journal away and took out his sketchbook. "Should I start a new sketch?" He asked himself. "I'll start a new sketch," he told himself.

Well, at least he was going to until Victor came in. In a way, it was a good thing Victor came in. It would have saved Yuri from having to come up with something to draw. "Yuri!" Victor dashed into the room and stopped running when he got to Yuri. He squatted at Yuri's feet. "I've missed you." Yuri smiled.

"I've missed you, too," Yuri said. Victor sprung to his feet and bent down to kiss Yuri. "We're in public."

"I don't see anyone else in the room." Victor smirked.

"Stop," Yuri whined. "We are in a place of education." Victor rolled his eyes and took his seat. He had a dreamy look on his face. "You're giving me bedroom eyes again."

"My bedroom is exactly where I want you," Victor said.

"Stop," Yuri whined again. "We're in public." Yuri felt his face get warm and he was sure that he was blushing now. "And, before you say it, I know that it's just us in this room, but there _will_ be other people in this room soon." Victor moved his desk closer to Yuri's and reached out to stroke his face. His thumb stroked Yuri's bottom lip tenderly. "We're not doing this right now."

"Fine. We'll do it on our date," Victor said with a smile. Yuri started to chuckle. Then he started to look at his pants and mentally deconstruct all of the different flowers on them. "Hey, Yuri." His voice sounded more serious.

"Yeah?"

"I've missed you a lot," Victor said. "I just wanted to say that."

"It was only a few days," Yuri said. "Surely you couldn't have missed me _too_ much."

"But I did." Victor grabbed Yuri's hand and kissed his knuckles. "Can you at least let me know when you're going to leave? I'd like to see you before you go."

"If you saw me before I left to go anywhere, I'd never leave," Yuri pointed out. He started to play with the spirals that bound his sketchbook. "I feel like you wouldn't let me leave once you got a hold of me." Victor smirked. "And, as much as I enjoy being your captive, I do have things that I must do."

"What exactly _do_ you do?" Victor asked. "I'd like to join you in something one day." Yuri stopped playing with the spirals of his sketchbook. "I want to be included in the things that are important to you." Yuri felt his chest get tight.

"I highly doubt that you'd like anything I do."

"You don't know that." Yuri was silent. "Can I watch you do digital art?" Yuri cracked a smile and took a sip of his coffee.

"I don't feel like doing any digital art right now," Yuri said. "But maybe you can watch me draw something in my sketchbook. I don't know. But I do know that it's going to be kind of boring."

"It won't be boring," Victor said, sure of himself. "Plus, I'd be with you and there's never a dull moment with you." Yuri put his sketchbook back in his bag and took out his binder. Then he took another sip of his iced coffee. He was going to soldier on despite the two sugars.

"Victor, can you fix your desk?" Victor looked down at his desk, bemused by what he could "fix" on it. "Like, just…" Yuri got up and straightened Victor's desk. "There we go."

"Was that bothering you?" Victor asked.

"Yes." Victor smiled. The door opened and three students came in. Victor bit his lip and stared at Yuri. There was a glint in his eyes; he's planning something. "Victor, what are you doing?"

"Nothing yet." Yuri looked at Victor. Victor reached into his pocket and took out two notes. He put them in the space between Yuri's palm and his desk. Then he made the desk crooked again.

"Victor, wh–" Yuri said. Victor smirked and reached out towards Yuri. Victor's fingers made their way into Yuri's hair. He took a lock of hair and wrapped it around his finger. Yuri looked at Victor's nose. Victor unwrapped the hair from around his finger and did the same to another plug. "What are you doing?"

"What are _you_ doing?" Victor rhetorically asked.

"I'm trying to figure out what you're doing." Victor took a plug of hair and started to brush it against Yuri's face. Yuri rolled his eyes. "What do you want?" Victor smirked.

"Let me watch you draw." Victor was still brushing Yuri's hair against his face. Yuri deadpanned.

"I said that you could, but I wasn't going to do it any time soon." Then it hit Yuri. He wants to watch him do it soon. "But, I _suppose_ ," Yuri started. Victor was grinning. "I suppose that I could make myself do some digital art." Victor removed his fingers from Yuri's hair and smiled. He seemed satisfied. "What do you want me to draw? When do you want to watch me draw?"

"When I come back," Victor said. "And I don't know. What do you usually draw?"

"I draw what my heart wants," Yuri responded.

"And what does your heart want?" Yuri was silent. He knows what he wants now. He's just unable to tell him. "I'm never going to get an answer to that, am I?" Victor asked.

"Possibly not." Yuri bit his lip. "I'm sorry," Yuri said.

"It's fine." Victor smiled; his smile is infectious. That made Yuri smile a bit, but it was bittersweet. He knows what he wants, but he didn't try to convey to Victor what it is that he wants. "Also, read the notes. Right now." Yuri picked the second note that Victor gave him. He opened it and looked.

"I don't love you as if you were a rose of salt, topaz, or arrow of carnations that propagate fire." Victor nodded. "I love you as one loves certain obscure things, secretly, between the shadow and the soul." Yuri folded the note. He felt his heartbeat quicken as he read it. "I'm going to need you to explain why you said that you love me on Friday."

"Or I could explain it now."

"Do you have enough time to explain it now?" Yuri asked.

"It's 8:20," Victor said. "Surely it won't take me ten minutes for me to explain why said it." Victor straightened his desk and leaned towards Yuri. "I–" Victor was cut off when Professor Heiner came in. Victor looked at his desk and then at her. He seemed to freeze.

"Are you going to tell me now?" Yuri asked.

"I think I'll wait until we're alone," Victor said. "After class, maybe?" Yuri shrugged. "I'll tell you after class." Yuri nodded and looked at Victor. He had a graceful smile on his face. Victor took out his phone and took a flick of Yuri.

"Did you take a picture of me?"

"I might've," Victor said. Yuri sucked his teeth. "What?"

"Delete that. I don't look good."

"You look great," Victor said. He went to the photo and showed it to Yuri. "See?" Yuri rolled his eyes. "But, then again, you always look great." Victor looked at him and smirked. This was going to be a long, frustrating period if Victor is going to keep looking at him like that.

#

 **(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 11:30am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Class is over and Yuri was able to get through it despite his insides feeling like they're on fire. Yuri was doodling in his art history notes about the art of the Renaissance and Reformation. He mainly drew the outline of Bramante's design of Saint Peter's Basilica and Grünewald making the Isenheim Altarpiece over his notes. On the other side of the page was the requirements for his midterm paper. He had to pick an artist that was a High Renaissance, Reformation, or Baroque artist and write a seven-page paper about their life and their art. Yuri had no clue how he was actually going to write a paper about an artist he probably doesn't care about, but he's going to have to do it.

"Yuri, did you get the due date?" He nodded and gave Victor his notes. "Where is it?"

"Top of the last page."

"And that page is?"

"The page with the Isenheim Altarpiece." Victor nodded and turned the page. "Can you read it?" Victor nodded again. He quickly wrote down the date and gave Yuri his binder back. "Did you get everything else?"

"I did." Yuri put his binder back in his bag and stood. Professor Heiner was still there. Victor was still packing.

"Mr. Katsuki," Professor Heiner said. Yuri was taken aback by her. "Why was your assignment late?"

"I was in Europe and I lost track of time," Yuri said. He wasn't lying; he genuinely did lose track of time. You can easily lose time when you're forcing yourself to write and you're busy trying to focus when you feel your heart in your throat. "Sorry."

"Take care that you don't do this again." Yuri nodded. Professor Heiner left the room. Yuri waited for Victor to finish packing before he held out his hand. Victor took it gladly and they walked to the back of the library. Yuri leaned on Victor and closed his eyes.

"How did your assignment turn out?" Victor asked, referring to the assignment Yuri struggled to do in Bordeaux.

"Terrible. It's easily not my best work." Victor nodded and leaned his head on Yuri's. "And I have no clue what I'm going to do for the midterm paper." Victor was silent.

"Are you stuck in regards to artists?" Yuri nodded. "Michelangelo." Yuri opened his eyes. "I'll do da Vinci if you do Michelangelo."

"I feel like everyone is going to do either da Vinci or Michelangelo," Yuri muttered. "I have to go the extra mile and outshine everyone." Victor made a "tsk tsk" sound.

"Well, seven pages is just the minimum. The maximum is ten. Surely you can outshine someone just by doing the minimum."

"Nope, I have to do the maximum," Yuri said. Victor looked down at Yuri. "So you'll do da Vinci if I do Michelangelo?"

"I will." Yuri took out his phone and started to read about him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to familiarize myself with Michelangelo. Then I'm going to carry on with my day as I think about it. Then I'll get to work."

"Is this the artistic process?" Victor asked.

"Just part of it. The artistic process can get a lot weirder." Yuri stopped scrolling and looked at the Madonna and Child and Bacchus. "Yes, I can do this," Yuri said to himself. "Victor, get ready to familiarize yourself with da Vinci because I'm familiarizing myself with Michelangelo." Yuri looked at Michelangelo's Risen Christ. "Look," Yuri said to Victor, showing him the sculpture.

"It's nice," Victor remarked. There was a silence. "You don't have to do Michelangelo, you know."

"I know. But I already have ideas so I'm going to." Yuri closed his eyes and put his phone in his pocket. "Do you know a lot about da Vinci?"

"I only know the basics," Victor murmured. "I'm going to take this paper as an opportunity to deepen my relationship with him." Yuri nodded. "We should get going." Yuri nodded and buttoned his coat. Victor put on his hat and scarf and zipped up his coat. "Let's go!" He held out his hand for Yuri and Yuri took it. They left the campus hand in hand and walked to the corner.

"I've missed this," Yuri muttered.

"Have you?"

"I have," Yuri said. "It was so… different being in Bordeaux. I missed Detroit so much." Yuri looked down at his feet. "I missed you a lot, too." Victor squeezed Yuri's hand. "What was that for?"

"No reason," Victor said. "Was your roommate happy to see you?"

"Overjoyed." Yuri looked ahead of himself. "He wasn't alone, though. Khadijah was there with him."

"I mean, you two _are_ roommates," Victor pointed out. "Khadijah might have been there, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't still missing you." Yuri shrugged. They stopped at a light. "How are your other friends?"

"Adé, Masa, and Tal'at are fine." Victor nodded. "It was nice to see them."

"Who's Adé?"

"Camille. They said that we can call them Adé now." Victor nodded. "Adé was really glad to see me."

"Does Adé like figure skating?" Yuri nodded and smiled. He liked the way that Victor said Adé's name. "Question: If you and your friends like figure skating so much, why didn't you all go to the Bompard together? Why did you go alone?" The light changed.

"Masa's parents wouldn't let them go. Tal'at simply didn't _want_ to go. Adé's partner wouldn't let –"

"Let?!" Victor stopped in his tracks, recoiling in shock. Yuri nodded. "That's genuinely terrifying. Continue." Victor and Yuri started to walk again.

"As I was saying, Adé's partner wouldn't let them go. Khoudia couldn't afford to go because she keeps missing her Friday class." Yuri took a breath. "And I told Phichit that he can't go." Yuri finished.

"You told your roommate that he can't go?" Yuri nodded. "That's almost as bad as Adé's partner saying that they can't go to the Bompard."

"Let me just say that Phichit could have came, but he has midterms so I told him that he couldn't come." Victor nodded. "He would have if I didn't tell him that he couldn't."

"But then there's you," Victor said. "You don't like missing class. But you missed several days of classes to go to an event." Yuri looked down at his Docs and focused on the toe cap. "That doesn't make any sense. You could've watched it at home." Yuri stayed silent. "I'm not getting much of an answer about that, aren't I?"

"Not really," Yuri said. "I can't explain my reasoning for the why very well and I don't think you'd understand what I'm trying to convey."

"You need to give me more credit, Yura," Victor said. "I understand a lot of things." They stopped at another light. "I know I seem like an airhead, but I'm really not. I can be very diligent when I want to be."

"I believe you," Yuri said.

"Do you? Do you really?" Victor asked as they started to walk again.

"I do." Yuri kicked a bottle cap. "I'm not always capable of conveying thoughts and emotions very well, but trust me when I say that I believe you."

"I've noticed that you seem to have difficulty when it comes to expressing things," Victor remarked. Yuri kept his eyes on the toe caps. "And eye contact. And other things. It makes me wonder." Yuri felt a lump form in his throat. "I wonder a lot of things about you."

Yuri was going to regret asking this, but he went ahead anyway. "Like what?"

"Why are you the way that you are? Why is he so enigmatic? Why doesn't he look me in the eye? Will he start crying if I touch him? Is he capable of reciprocating intense emotions?" He bit his lip. "By the way, I have recently learned that you are capable of reciprocating them." Victor laughed. Yuri felt his face warm despite the biting air.

"Where did you get the idea that I can't reciprocate feelings?" Yuri asked.

"You seem out of touch with them," Victor said. "I had wondered if you are simply unable to feel them or if you choose _not_ to feel them."

"It's a little bit of both with an overarching theme of having difficulty with identifying them." Yuri spoke despite the lump in his throat. "I experience the sensations and I am unable to accurately name them in the moment so I ignore them until I'm able to unpack them and give them the attention they deserve."

"And you say that you're bad at explaining things," Victor said, tongue in cheek. They turned the corner. "That was a very succinct explanation."

"Just wait. I'm going to be an incomprehensible mess again." Yuri chuckled. He tugged at his arm to get him to stop walking. "We're here." They stepped inside.

The tea house was calm and the shades of juniper and pine went well with the ambient music they were playing. Victor was smiling wildly and fidgeting with his napkin. The napkins were carob brown and the tea house had fake Easter lilies as centerpieces. A barista took Yuri and Victor to where the seats were. Yuri took a photo of the centerpiece and put his phone on the table. They sat.

"Do you have a favorite type of tea?"

"I usually like green teas, but I think I'll try an herbal tea today," Victor said. Yuri nodded. "You?"

"Last time I came here I had matcha and it was underwhelming. I think I'll try something different today," Yuri said. "I might have the Caribe tea."

"I think I'll get lavender," Victor said. "Do you like macarons?" Yuri nodded. "Have you had the Earl Grey one?" Yuri nodded. "Is it good?"

"It's one of my favorites," Yuri said.

"What's your other favorite?"

"Rose lychee."

"Are those good?"

"They're good. They just have a very overpowering scent. And taste. And color." Yuri turned the page of his menu. "But they're good. I like them."

"I'm going to get a tiny cake," Victor said. "They look good." Victor zipped his hoodie down. Yuri was staring at his shirt. It had shades of purple, blue, and red. Yuri liked it. A lot. "Yes?"

"Your shirt," Yuri said.

"I like it. What art movement is this?"

"Futurism. I think this is a Severini painting." Victor sounded uncertain. Yuri nodded and kept looking. "Do you like it?"

"Never take it off." Yuri bit his tongue after he said that. "I mean, take it off." He sharply inhaled. "But don't." He pushed himself away from the table. "I like your shirt. I'm going to use the bathroom." Yuri got up and went to hide in the bathroom. He wanted to give himself space to breathe and so he didn't say anything else to Victor. "He does have a nice shirt," Yuri mused. "What was I even trying to say to him?" Yuri asked himself. "Maybe it's better if I just don't say anything."

 _ **Victor: I miss you already.**_  
 _ **Victor: Come out.**_  
 _ **: I just got in here.**_  
 _ **Victor: Still. Come out.**_  
 _ **: Fine. I'll come out.**_

Yuri gave himself two more minutes before he came out. He sat back down in silence. Victor was smiling. "You've returned to me." Yuri nodded. "I'm glad."

"Did someone come out to take our order?" Victor shook his head. "Did you decide on what tiny cake you want?"

"Red velvet," Victor said. "I didn't know what the other two were." Yuri nodded and kept his eyes downward. Victor smiled. "Yuri," Victor said.

"Hm?"

"Look at me." Yuri kept his eyes down. "Yuri."

"Yes?"

"I said look at me." Victor reached out and held his hand. Yuri took a deep breath and looked at Victor. He didn't look him square in the eyes, but he looked at his nose instead. He took a brief break to look Victor in the eyes. They were soft.

"Victor," Yuri said.

"Yes?"

"You're giving me bedroom eyes again." Victor took a deep breath and smiled. "It gets weirder and weirder every time you do it," Yuri pointed out.

"And you're not giving me bedroom eyes?" He asked. Yuri squinted. He understood what Victor's question was asking, but didn't understand the implications of it. Had Victor been interpreting how he looks at him as "bedroom eyes"?

"Is that how you've been interpreting the way I look at you? As bedroom eyes?"

"Well," Victor said, "I would say 'dreamy eyes,' but…" He shifted in his seat. "What I call it doesn't matter. Just look at me." Yuri was beyond confused. "How am I supposed to look at him now? He thinks that I've been giving him bedroom eyes the entire time that I've known him," Yuri thought. Worse still that he doesn't even know how to change that. "You have such lovely eyes."

"Are you going to pluck them out?"

"Why would I do that?" Victor asked. Yuri stayed silent. "Anyway, what was that thing you wanted to discuss with me?" The lump in Yuri's throat started to hurt. He didn't expect that conversation to happen now.

"I forgot." Yuri's voice was low. "But, before I forget," he said, reaching into his bag. "Thus Spoke Zarathustra." He put the book on the table and Victor picked it up. "I hope you enjoy it as much as I did."

"I will. Thank you," Victor said. He put it in his bag. "Also, I'm sorry for Georgi being a reticent piss baby. I thought that he'd – I don't know – like to talk to someone. He's not usually like that."

"I actually ran into him on Sunday," Yuri said.

"And? How'd that go?"

"He was still being… standoffish, I guess you could call it." Yuri looked at his hands. "Also, I don't think Georgi was being reticent. He was very vocal in not wanting to speak to me." Victor shrugged. "But I did run into two of Phichit's friends," Yuri said. A barista came out with the tea and Victor's tiny cake. "They were happy to see me. Like, extremely happy to see me."

"Have you met them before?"

"No," Yuri said. "I think they knew more about me than I knew about them. It's kind of scary, really." Yuri touched the teapot to try to pour tea and he winced.

"What happened?"

"The teapot is hot," Yuri said. Victor laughed. "This is no laughing matter."

"It kind of is." Victor was grinning. "You didn't expect it to be hot?"

"I don't know what I expected," Yuri said. "But yeah, it's kind of scary. I don't have any idea of what Phichit told them about me and I don't know how to act."

"Easy: Act like yourself," Victor suggested. Yuri looked at Victor and blinked. "The you that you are is the best kind of you. Who wouldn't like that?"

"You're only saying that because you haven't seen me at my messiest." And this is true. While Victor _has_ seen Yuri while he was hallucinating, he hasn't seen him when he was depressed. Or manic. Or in the middle of a meltdown. Or engaging in a creative binge. He hasn't seen those sides of Yuri at all. Which is why it's baffling that Victor said that he loves him. Yuri sighed and finally poured his tea in the cup. Victor had already done that; right now, he was eating his tiny cake.

"Give me a chance and I can get accustomed with your messiest."

"That might not be a good idea."

"Why not?" Yuri was silent. "I'm not going to get an answer, aren't I?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Have more faith in me. I can be perceptive." Yuri stayed silent. "Do you want a bite of my cake?" Yuri shrugged. Victor offered him a forkful and Yuri ate. "And you're sure you don't remember what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Not a clue," Yuri said, biting his lip. He felt bad for lying to him, but he didn't know what he was going to say. "Is there something you want to talk about?" Yuri took a sip of his tea.

"Yes, actually," he said. Yuri nodded and took another sip of tea. "I don't want to freak you out, but what are we?" Yuri stopped sipping and looked down at his cup. He put it down gently and kept his gaze down. "I freaked you out, didn't I?" Victor asked.

"No. I'm not freaked out," Yuri said. He reached into his bookbag and took out his sketchbook. "Hold on." Yuri woke up his phone and went to the notes app. He has the perfect poem for this: Soneto 64 by Pablo Neruda. Yuri wrote the sonnet on the blank page of the sketchbook and wrote "I want you" at the bottom of the sonnet. He tore it out, folded it, and passed it to Victor. Yuri put his sketchbook back in his bookbag and resumed drinking his tea. "You should probably read that now." Victor did as Yuri asked and opened the note. He read the note carefully, rereading the line Yuri wrote. "I usually approach situations like this with more art and half-assed finesse to make it more tolerable for me, but this is all I have right now. Plus, you like Neruda and I've been coming to appreciate him." Yuri took another sip of tea.

"Do we have to go to the bookstore today?"

"Not really. Why?"

"I'm going to take you home and give you _all_ the love bites." Yuri's face felt hot.

" _Stop_ , Victor, we're in _public_ ," Yuri's voice was a whine. "There is a family _right_ next to us." Victor looked over at the family – a mother, grandmother, and the preadolescent offspring. They were trying not to gawk, but the grandmother was staring at them, disapproving.

"They'll be fine." Yuri laughed. "Nothing they can't get used to." Yuri laughed and took a sip of tea.

"What about you?" Yuri asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Victor asked. Yuri took a sip of tea. He looked over at Victor's teacup; he barely touched it. Then Victor took a large sip of tea. Yuri stayed silent.

"Can you explain why you said 'I love you'?" Yuri asked. He poured himself another cup of tea.

"It felt right," Victor said. "I didn't know when I could exactly tell you so I went for it right there." Victor took a sip of his tea. "I don't regret it, though. I love you." Victor smiled and held Yuri's hand. Yuri was silent. "Did I freak you out again?"

"No," Yuri said. There was a pause. "It's November."

"I know."

"No, Victor, it's _November_ ," Yuri said.

"I'm afraid the meaning of what you're trying to convey is lost on me," Victor said and took another large sip of tea. "What are you trying to say?"

"Isn't it too soon to be at it with the declarations of love?" Victor shrugged. "I've only known you for about two months."

Victor shrugged again. "I don't know. I felt certain of it so I went for it." He finally took a bite of his Earl Gray macaron. "Is it wrong?"

"No, no, it's not wrong." Yuri looked down at his tea. "I don't know. I guess I'm just not used to it." He took a deep breath. "You make it hard to breathe sometimes."

"Do I?" Yuri nodded. "I'm glad that I take your breath away." Victor poured himself another cup of tea. "You make my headspace wild."

"I'm glad that that's all me," Victor smirked.

"I'm going to take you home, bend–"

"Victor, there is a _literal_ family right next to us." Yuri glanced over at the family, focusing on the grandmother and her penetrating gaze. The mother seemed to ignore it, but the child seemed to be in a state of amazement. "Just don't." Yuri picked up his phone and sent Victor a text.

 _ **: I am trying to save us from the ranting of an old person**_  
 _ **: Just chill.**_

Victor took his phone out of his pocket and looked at it.

 _ **Victor: Must I chill?**_  
 _ **: That would be nice.**_

"Fine. Because you asked," Victor said. "Hold on." Victor took a flick of Yuri as he took a sip of tea. "My baby." He smiled. Yuri put down his teacup and covered his face. "Are you okay?"

"Aah!" Yuri said into his hands. He removed his hands from his face and smiled.

"I love your smile," Victor said. "I hope it never fades." Yuri smiled harder. Victor took a sip of tea and took another flick of Yuri. "Absolute perfection." Yuri smiled harder as he took another sip of tea. They interlaced their fingers again, all smiley and giggly, and Yuri took a picture of their hands. This date, in Yuri's mind, is going extremely well.

#

 **(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 4:32pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Phichit was nose deep in his textbooks when Yuri came home. "You're late," he said, not looking up at the door.

"I know." Yuri took off his coat and shoes. He put his hat and scarf in the sleeve of his coat and sat down next to Phichit. He hoped that his hoodie would mask the love bites on his neck. Victor wasn't playing when he talked about giving him a bunch of love bites. "I'm sorry. How's studying going?"

"It's so boring," Phichit said. "I don't understand anything I'm reading. Or I just don't care about what I'm reading." Yuri snickered. "I'm going to fail."

"No you won't," Yuri said. "I'll help you study."

"If you help me study, nothing is going to get done." Phichit looked up from his textbook. "Plus, you need to study, too," Phichit said. "Why are you still in your clothes? Go change." Yuri stayed in his spot. "Yuri, go change." Yuri gave in and went to change into his pastel yellow pajamas. He prayed that the collar would cover his love bites. He came back into the living room with his laptop and started to read about Michelangelo. So far, he had an idea to start a painting, but he would have to paint while laying horizontally. Then, in true Michelangelo fashion, he would have to sculpt a biblical figure; however, Yuri wasn't familiar with the Bible so he considered the possibility of sculpting Hokusai or Utamaro. Then he would have to write poetry about beautiful men and how their bodies are works of art. It was a lot to do within a week, but Yuri could do it if he drank enough Red Bull.

"I can do this," Yuri said to himself.

"Do what?"

"The art history midterm paper."

"Oh yeah, I haven't even thought about that," Phichit said. "Did you figure out who you're going to write about?"

"Michelangelo." Phichit looked up from his textbook. He was stunned to hear that Yuri has an idea _and_ that he's doing someone who isn't Yuri's style. "Do you know who you're going to write about?"

"Either Rembrandt or Caravaggio." Phichit returned to his textbook. "I'm presuming that when you said 'I can do this' that you were thinking about how you're going to immerse yourself in Michelangelo's essence." Yuri nodded. "What ideas do you have?"

"Okay, so, first I would paint horizontally," Yuri said. Phichit nodded. "Then I would sculpt Hokusai or Utamaro." Yuri opened a Word document. "Then I would write poetry about beautiful men." Phichit cackled. "What? What's so funny?"

"We both know the beautiful man you'll be writing about." Yuri rolled his eyes. "Speaking of beautiful men… Yuri, lapinou," he said.

"Yes, mon canard?" Yuri replied, not taking his eyes off of the screen.

"What's on your neck?" Phichit asked. He moved closer to examine Yuri's neck. "Take off your shirt." Yuri complied and took off his shirt. Phichit was taken aback. "Explain. Now."

"Victor… he really missed me." Yuri yawned and looked at his pajama shirt. "A lot. I thought he was joking when he said that he was going to do that, but he wasn't." Yuri and Phichit remained silent.

Then Phichit opened his mouth. "I'm going to shave your head."

"I figured that," Yuri said. He stretched.

"Sleep with one eye open."

"Will do," Yuri said. He didn't have plans to sleep tonight anyway. He wanted to start working on a painting. "I'm going to go shower." Phichit nodded and looked at Yuri as he got up. Yuri could really use that shower right now.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: This is nineteen pages and I don't know how this happened.


	50. Chapter 50

Ryuugazaki: We are on Chapter 50 and I am _so done_ with myself.

* * *

Chapter Fifty  
 **(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 5:25pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri started his essay after his shower. Phichit had stopped paying attention to his books and was looking at Yuri. "So?" Phichit said. Yuri was typing away at the introductory paragraph as he read Pietà. "Yuri!"

"What?"

"So?" Phichit was fishing for information. "How did this happen? I need details!"

"Okay, so, you know how we had another date, right?"

"That was today?" Phichit asked. He didn't wait for a response; instead, he said, "Doesn't sound right, but continue."

"We went to the tea house after art history and we had tea." Phichit nodded. "We talked, got stares from this old woman who wasn't comfortable with our presence, and we talked." Phichit nodded again. "Victor asked if it was necessary for us to go to the bookstore and I told him that we didn't have to. So he said that he was going to take me back to his place. And after we finished having tea, we went back to his place." Phichit was attentive.

"What prompted him to ask if it was necessary to go to the bookstore?"

"Earlier in the day he asked me what my heart wanted and I told him what I wanted. He was smitten by my answer and decided that he wanted to mess around."

"And you…" Phichit steepled his hands and looked at them. "You two messed around."

"It was less of messing around and more of, well, this and that," Yuri said. Phichit was silent.

"Are you going to continue seeing him?" Phichit asked.

"I am. I want him." Yuri took a deep breath and put his head in his hands. "His existence seeps into everything I do and I need him."

"I already knew this," Phichit said. "I approve. Just make sure that you don't sabotage it somehow." Yuri nodded. "I'm being serious. You tend to retreat into yourself when overwhelmed. I'm used to it, but Victor isn't."

"I told him that he wouldn't like me when I'm messy, but he said that he can take it," Yuri said and shrugged. Phichit was stunned. "I doubt it."

"He's going to be exposed to the things you've been trying to keep from him eventually." Phichit leaned on the arm of the chair and put his feet in Yuri's lap. "Speaking of exposure, have you told him yet?"

"About what?" Yuri asked. Phichit flicked Yuri's cheek. "Ah!"

"Your skating career, numpty," Phichit said. Yuri shook his head. "Why?" He whined. "If Khoudia finds out she's going to lecture you. Meaning that she's also going to lecture me. And I don't want to be lectured." Yuri shrugged.

"I still haven't figured out how I'm going to tell him."

"Yuri, this advice is going to be easier said than done, but I'm going to need you to keep an open mind here."

"Okay."

"Fucking tell him," Phichit said. Yuri looked at Phichit; his mouth was pressed in a line. "You can't keep avoiding this."

"I know," Yuri said, moving Phichit's feet out of his lap and placing his laptop over Phichit's feet. "How's studying going?" Yuri asked. He wants to stop this "pining over Victor/avoidance" conversation as soon as possible.

"Well, I have no clue what moles are and I don't understand the formula for it at all," he said. "And I don't care about American history at all."

"And your religions course?"

"I have radically accepted that I am going to fail." Yuri rolled his eyes. "I'm not even going to bother studying for that anymore." Yuri tut-tutted Phichit and looked over his paper. He's three pages in.

"You don't need to study for American History. Just listen to the Hamilton soundtrack." Phichit laughed furiously. "Aren't you still on the American Revolution?"

"And the Articles of Confederation and the Constitution," Phichit added.

"Yeah, just listen to the Hamilton soundtrack." Yuri looked at his fingers. "Also, listen to the Preamble of the Constitution. We the people, in order to form a more perfect union…" Yuri crooned.

"I forgot that you know the Preamble of the Constitution."

"I'll send you the song," Yuri said. He found the link and texted it to Phichit. "There you go."

"And what do I do about my chemistry class?"

"Khan Academy," Yuri said.

"And religion?"

"The Great Courses Plus, iTunes U, and Simple Wikipedia." Yuri didn't even blink at what he said. He just continued to write his essay. "You can use my Great Courses Plus account." Yuri stopped typing. "Also, you can use The Great Courses to learn about the Founding Fathers. I highly doubt your exam will have questions directly relating to the relationship between Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens, but it might help to know about it."

"Yuri, you are a life saver!" Phichit removed his feet from Yuri's lap and threw his arms around Yuri's neck. He kissed his face all over and clung to him. "Thank you, baby!" Yuri placed his laptop on the free space on the sofa and wrapped his arm around Phichit's waist.

"It's no problem." Phichit pulled himself off of Yuri and partially sat on Yuri's lap. "I'd get to work on studying, though. Like, right now."

"I love you so much."

"I love you, too, lapinou," Yuri said. Phichit slunk out of Yuri's lap and went to get his laptop. Yuri reached for his laptop and resumed writing. "Mon canard, do I have a blank canvas in the closet?" Yuri shouted.

"Yeah, why?"

"I need to paint." Phichit came back to the living room, laptop in hand, to look at Yuri. "It's for the art history midterm."

"It's for art history. We don't draw in that class."

"I know, but I need to paint."

"Is this part of immersing yourself into Michelangelo's essence?" Yuri nodded. "Yuri, you don't need to paint to write a midterm paper about Michelangelo." Phichit bit his lip. "Wait, didn't you mention needing to _sculpt_ , too?!" Yuri nodded again. "You are not sculpting in this house."

"Even if I sculpt Hokusai?"

"Even if," Phichit said. He walked over and placed his laptop on the sofa. "Plus, you don't know how to sculpt and the marble wouldn't fit through the door."

"But I can learn how to sculpt." Phichit looked at Yuri, deadpan.

"You're not going to learn how to sculpt." Phichit sat down and opened his laptop. "And you're _not_ going to bring a hunk of marble in this house." Yuri shrugged. "How were you going to paint?" Phichit asked.

"I was going to suspend the canvas from the ceiling–"

"Nope!" Phichit said. "You're not doing that either. Not in my house. Paint normally or not at all." Yuri looked at Phichit and sucked his teeth. "And Yuri, when I say 'paint normally,' I mean 'paint normally.' So no drugs and no preparation ritual."

"The 'no drugs' part I'm okay with, but no preparation ritual? How am I supposed to do that?" Yuri has an elaborate preparation ritual for when he would commence a painting. The last time he painted, he let Phichit join in on the ritual. He was not a fan of it.

"I don't know. Figure it out," Phichit said.

"Phichit, it's kind of important for me to engage in my ritual before I paint." Yuri put his laptop on the coffee table. "It sets the mood–"

"For the painting and for myself, I know. I get it," Phichit said.

"So you'll let me do my ritual then?" Yuri asked. Phichit shook his head. Yuri looked back at his essay and saved it. "Figures."

#

 **(Wednesday, 18 November 2015 – 11:44pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri," Phichit said as he climbed in bed next to him. Yuri scooched over and threw the comfort over their bodies. "Do you want to go to Supernova on Saturday?"

"We promised Khoudia that we'd go, didn't we?" Yuri yawned and wiped his eyes. Phichit nodded. "So we'll go." Phichit propped himself up and looked at Yuri. He paid special attention to Yuri's neck. "What?"

"I can't believe that this is happening." Yuri yawned and wiped his eyes again. "You have a boyfriend and you're serious about it," Phichit gushed. Yuri remained silent. "You're not even going to fight me when I call Victor your boyfriend now, aren't you?" Yuri shook his head.

"I don't know what exactly we are, but I guess we're something." Yuri rolled on his side to face Phichit. "I had asked him what he wanted and he said 'Isn't it obvious?' I don't understand what he meant by that." Yuri yawned. "But I know that he wants something."

"He wants you, silly," Phichit said. He laid down and cuddled up to Yuri. "He's your boyfriend. Get used to it." Yuri shrugged.

"I _guess_ he's my boyfriend now." Phichit nodded. "Imagine if we interpreted all of this all wrong and Victor's like 'I just wanted a friendship. I'm not gay.'"

"Well, technically speaking, you're not exactly gay either," Phichit pointed out. Yuri is a raging pansexual. "But I don't think we're interpreting any of this wrong. He's been pretty hot for you since you've met. You don't relentlessly pursue someone your sex for two months and _not_ be at least some shade of gay. And he asked you on two dates. And you're calling them dates. Plus, there's all of this penetration going around and people don't usually penetrate your friends." Phichit closed his eyes. "I think we're right about this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Phichit said, yawning like a kitten. "My Yuri has a boyfriend."

"I do. I think."

"You do." Phichit yawned again. "Yuri has a boyfriend," he sweetly babbled. "We should all go out to dinner one day. I want to get acquainted with him."

"I haven't even gone on my third date with him and you want to sit down and eat with him," Yuri commented. "You move fast."

"You two move fast." Yuri rolled his eyes and closed them. "Are you going to sleep now?" Yuri nodded. "Okay, I'll try to be quiet and keep my phone dim." Phichit kissed Yuri's nose. "Sleep well, ma poupée," he said.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: The way this is going, this might be 100 chapters and I – honest to God – would not blame you if you stopped reading.


	51. Chapter 51

Ryuugazaki: Several several things:

* I'm posting this from my math class while listening to highlife. It is the first day of the new semester and I'm already not being a good college student.

* I expected to at least be posting Chapter 55 by this time. Whoops.

* I really wanted to rewrite this, but my brain wasn't having that so y'all have this.

* Confession: I started reading Philosophy in the Bedroom because I watched "I Killed My Mother" and Philosophy in the Bedroom is an anatomy lesson that you shouldn't read in public unless you've got the guts for it.

* * *

Chapter Fifty-One  
 **(Saturday, 21 November 2015 – 7:14pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri has been utilizing all means of art that he is capable of to deal with his loneliness. Sure, Victor has called him multiple times and texts often and frequently, but it's not the same. He's been drawing and painting, mostly. He had to run out and get more canvases after his ballet lesson on Friday. He's mainly been doing his painting at night when Phichit is asleep so he won't criticize his rituals and distract him. Yuri's even tried his hand at playing the guitar and free verse poetry again. It wasn't exactly good, but it wasn't exactly bad, either. There was room for improvement.

But tonight was Saturday and he said that he would go with Phichit and Khoudia to Supernova. Phichit let Yuri pick out his clothes tonight. Yuri felt that it was fitting to wear his space-themed clothes. He didn't have any space-themed pants, but his jeans complimented the outfit just as well. Phichit decided to wear jeans and his EXO sweater. Khoudia said that she was going to meet them at the apartment to change clothes. Her parents and sisters must've pressured her into looking like a "proper woman" instead of a "hoodlum" tonight. Yuri didn't know how much Khoudia told her parents about what she was doing tonight, but he was sure that she didn't mention to her devout Muslim parents that she was going to a gay bar with her queer friends to get her mind off of a girl that's ignoring her messages. That wouldn't go over well at all.

"Hey!" Khoudia said as she came in. She took off her boots. She was wearing a skirt tonight; her parents must have made her wear it. "I can't believe I'm going with y'all to a gay bar tonight!" She was beaming. "I called Adé to ask if they wanted to come, but they said that their partner wouldn't let them. So I guess it's just us tonight." She shrugged and took off her coat. Phichit was on the sofa, scrolling through his Instagram feed. Yuri was in the bathroom, doing his eyeliner. He couldn't get it as sharp as Guang Hong made it, but he was able to look passable. Yuri walked out of the bathroom. He picked Khoudia up and spun her around.

"You were saying that Adé's partner wouldn't let them come out tonight?" Phichit said. Khoudia nodded once Yuri put her down. "Tragic, just tragic. We need to have an intervention or something." Yuri agreed.

"I'm going to go change," Khoudia said. Yuri and Phichit nodded. She walked to the bathroom with her bag and didn't shut the door behind her.

"Baby, come take a selfie with me," Phichit said. He started to angle his phone. Yuri stood behind Phichit's spot on the sofa and placed his chin on Phichit's head. "There we go. Let's take another one. Come sit next to me." Yuri flung himself over the sofa and plopped next to Phichit. He fixed his clothes and placed his head on Phichit's shoulders. Then they took another one where Yuri's nose grazed Phichit's ear. Then another one where they kissed. "I cannot post the last two on Instagram," Phichit remarked. "Your boyfriend might start following me on there and he might see it and I'm not trying to ruin anything." Yuri shrugged. "Don't shrug. This is serious."

"I know it's serious."

"Then act like it," Phichit said. Yuri yawned. "Am I boring you?"

"Of course not. I just slept poorly because _someone_ wants to shave my head." Yuri side eyed Phichit and smirked. Phichit nudged Yuri's arm and laughed.

"Didn't you say that you weren't going to sleep last night?" Phichit snapped back.

"I did, but the flesh is weak," Yuri said. "The flesh is weak and I was tired." Phichit giggled. "But I'm glad that you didn't shave my head last night. I like having hair."

"I didn't shave your head last night because you looked so peaceful when you were sleeping. I didn't want to disturb you." Phichit kissed Yuri's cheek. "Aah! I keep forgetting about Victor! Sorry!" Phichit was blushing something fierce and Yuri patted his back. Phichit placed his face in Yuri's chest and Yuri gave him a hug. "Stop. Indulging. Me. You're making it worse!"

"What am I supposed to do?!" Yuri screeched.

"Let me suffer!"

"How am I supposed to sit here and let my lapinou suffer?" Yuri asked. He hugged Phichit tighter. "I'm not going to let you freak out over something that's still new to the both of us. It's fine. You're fine."

"You still haven't told Victor about us." Phichit pulled away from Yuri. "He's going to ask." Yuri stayed silent. "You have no clue what to tell him, do you?"

"Well," Yuri said.

"What?"

"When we first went to the museum, he asked about what we do. I think he was curious about why you pick out my clothes. He was laughing really hard when I told him that you do that." Yuri bit his lip. "Speaking of, why don't you let me pick out my own clothes for things?"

"If it was up to you, you would wear nothing but sweats, floral harem pants, and hoodies."

"I would have been fine wearing floral pants and a hoodie to the museum, though," Yuri said.

"I wasn't going to let my baby walk out of the house looking homely," Phichit said. "The goal was to dazzle Victor and I succeeded." Yuri looked at his fingers. "And I will continue to pick out your clothes because I still don't want you to look homely when you're with Victor. I just want my beloved to be happy." Phichit tenderly stroked Yuri's face. "…And look good. I want you to be happy and look good."

"And does being happy mean you being in misery?" Yuri asked.

"I am not in misery."

"Then a little heartbroken then."

"I am not heartbroken either."

"Mm-hm," Yuri said.

"You have jokes, Yuri Katsuki," Phichit said, playfully shoving Yuri.

"I smell boys being gay!" Khoudia said, tottering out of the bathroom. She didn't have a shirt on and her jeans were halfway up. She stood at the entrance to the living room. Yuri and Phichit looked back at Khoudia as she bounced to pull her jeans up. "Stop being gay. I'm trying to get dressed and I don't want to miss anything."

"Khoudia, finish getting dressed," Yuri said. "I know you feel at home here, but please finish getting dressed."

"Fine, fine," Khoudia said, finally getting her pants over her butt. She zipped her pants and walked back into the bathroom. Phichit whistled as Khoudia walked. "Shut up!" Yuri and Phichit snickered. "Remember: Hold off on the gay until I'm done dressing!" She yelled from the bathroom.

"We will!" Phichit said. Yuri was smiling from ear to ear. Phichit woke up his phone and went to check his Instagram. "I'm posting our selfie." Yuri nodded and grabbed his phone to check his Tumblr. "Are you bringing your portable charger?" Yuri nodded.

"Are you still waiting for yours to come?" Phichit nodded. "Did you check the mail today?" Phichit pursed his lips. "You didn't check the mail today, did you?"

"I did not." Yuri sighed and got up. "Where are you going?"

"To check the mail." Yuri put on his sneakers and went downstairs. Phichit's package was in the mailbox, waiting for him. When Yuri was downstairs, he saw their conservative, middle-aged neighbor. "Hello," Yuri said. She stayed silent. "Have a nice day," Yuri said as he closed the box and went back upstairs.

"Was it in there?" Yuri nodded and gave it to him. He put the rest of the mail on the coffee table. That will be handled when they come back. Or tomorrow. Or next week. Or never. Probably never. "Thank you, ma poupée."

"No problem, lapinou."

"Okay, ready!" Khoudia walked out of the bathroom in her ripped jeans, white leggings, and Steven Universe crop top. She spun around slowly, modeling her outfit. "I look great, don't I?" She struck a pose. "It's okay, y'all don't need to say anything."

"Why are you wearing a crop top when it's winter?" Yuri questioned.

"Technically it's still autumn," Khoudia said.

"That isn't the point," Yuri said. "It's cold. Put on a jacket."

"A hoe never gets cold," Khoudia said. Phichit started laughing. "Plus, I _am_ going to wear my coat. When we leave. But right now I look cute. Someone take pictures of me." Yuri and Phichit snapped flicks of Khoudia as she made various poses. Her hair was in box braids and she had it in a bun. It complemented the outfit very well. "Ah, thank you, thank you. Now send them to me. I have to post those on Instagram." Yuri rolled his eyes and laughed. Khoudia walked over to her boots and put them back on.

"Where are you putting your other clothes?" Phichit asked.

"I left them in the bathroom."

"You can put them in here." Khoudia walked back into the bathroom, folded her clothes, and put them in her bag. She came back in the living room with her bag and put it on the sofa. Phichit got up to put on his shoes; Yuri followed. They put on their coats and left for Supernova.

#

 **(Saturday, 21 November 2015 – 8:04pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Supernova was a tiny bar in the middle of the block. The sign was in black and white and they had the bar name in the window. The bar wasn't full, but it wasn't exactly empty either. It was quiet inside. Yuri, Phichit, and Khoudia were sitting in the quiet bar, drinking their beers. Khoudia was silent, watching Yuri and Phichit look at each other.

"You know," Khoudia said.

"What?"

"It's hard to believe that you two aren't together anymore. Literally nothing has changed between you two." Khoudia took a sip of her beer and belched. Phichit looked over at Yuri. He was silent and drinking his beer. "Phichit still gives you that look – that soft, doting look." Yuri shrugged and looked over at Phichit. He reached over and wiped something off of Phichit's cheek. "And you still act all nonchalant but loving towards him. Nothing has changed."

"Well, some things have changed," Phichit said. "Yuri doesn't do drugs anymore."

"Yeah, I remember you having a fit about his drug usage early in the relationship," Khoudia said, laughing. Phichit took a swig of beer.

"I stopped to appease you, remember?" Yuri said. "We pinky swore." Yuri leaned back in his chair and took another sip of beer. Then he took out his phone and took a picture of Phichit. He didn't notice or hear the click sound.

"And you haven't gone back on it yet! I'm happy." Phichit pulled Yuri's chair closer to his and placed his head on Yuri's shoulder. Yuri flung his arm around the back of Phichit's chair. Khoudia took out her phone and took a flick of Yuri and Phichit.

"Yuri's become a little bit more opener because of you. It's astounding."

"Don't you mean affectionate?" Yuri asked.

"Well, yes, that too," Khoudia said and took a sip of her drink. "If I went back in time and told myself that Yuri Katsuki would actually start giving me hugs, I would not have believed myself. At all." She took another sip of beer. "Why didn't it work out? I've been wondering that for years. You two still act like you're in a relationship despite not being in one."

"Yuri felt that there was too much pressure attached to the 'boyfriend' label. So we ended it amicably and just continued."

"So you're still boyfriends, but not in name?" Khoudia asked. Phichit sat up and took a sip of his beer. He was silent. "Am I understanding this wrong?"

"No," Phichit said. "He's my platonic life partner. We're always going to be together."

"But Yuri has a boyfriend," Khoudia said. Yuri took a sip of beer. "Are you still going to be partners even though Yuri has a boyfriend?" Phichit nodded. "Yuri, how do you feel about this?" He shrugged and took another sip. "Ma raison, I'm going to need you to stop being laconic right now. This is important."

"We're partners," Yuri said. "I am always going to be with Phichit." Yuri took a sip of beer and held up his finger. "But, right now, Victor is my boyfriend. Phichit is highly okay with it. But I will have to let Victor know about this and ask him if he's okay with it." Yuri looked for more words to say. "I hope that he'll agree with this. I want him in my life."

"As your boyfriend?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded and took a sip of beer. "What if you want to marry him?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Yuri said.

"Aside from that, any new news in the world of Victuuri?" Yuri and Phichit looked at Khoudia. "That's my ship name: Victuuri. I ship this and I want this." Phichit giggled.

"Victor and Yuri have been fucking."

"Honey, that's not even a secret," Khoudia said. "Yuri was glowing after his first date with Victor. He got some then."

"Oh, I knew," Phichit said.

"If you knew, what was the point of asking me?" Yuri said after he took a drink.

"I wanted to hear you say it," Phichit said after he took a drink. "But it wouldn't have mattered if you didn't tell me. I knew. Didin't think Victor would leave hickeys this time, though." Phichit was still in mild disbelief.

"There's hickeys?!" Khoudia yelped. Phichit took out his phone and showed Khoudia pictures of them. He must have taken those while Yuri was sleeping. "Ooh," Khoudia said. Then she looked at Yuri. "Would it be wrong of me to say that he has it bad for you? Because I am of the belief that he has it bad." She stressed the word "bad."

"He said that he missed me a lot when I was in Bordeaux."

"He missed you so much that he left marks and had to get in them guts." Khoudia giggled madly. Yuri rolled his eyes and took a drink. "Anyway, where is he?"

"Nagano," Phichit said. Khoudia took a sip of beer. "NHK event." She nodded and took another sip of beer.

"Wait, I have an _important_ question before we start to discuss figure skating!" Khoudia said.

"Shoot," Yuri said.

"Did you leave any marks on Victor? I need to know." Yuri deadpanned and took a sip of his drink. And then he took one of Phichit's. He wasn't amused.

Then he spoke. "Not on his neck." Khoudia nodded. "I, unlike Victor, am considerate." She giggled.

"Imagine if you left them on his neck and the reporters just started talking about who the mystery woman could be." Khoudia said and laughed. "And then – and then – Victor posts a picture of you being you on Instagram and captions it 'bae' and the skating world literally implodes because the Lord and Savior, the Ever-Compassionate Master of Figure Skating is not straight."

"That might honestly decimate the figure skating world," Phichit said. "Now, on the topic of figure skating." Yuri and Khoudia nodded. "Are you watching the NHK event?" Phichit asked Khoudia.

"I was until my sisters bullied me into watching Love & Hip Hop with them."

"You know, I forget that you have older sisters," Phichit said.

"It's funny because they forget about me, too," Khoudia said before she took a drink. "You would think that they wouldn't forget that I was born in Dakar just like them – that I'm one of the eldest just like them – but they don't care to remember." She took another sip of beer. Yuri took out his phone and looked at his messages. Nothing new from Victor.

But he did have a text from Chris.

 _ **Chris: wyd cutie?**_  
 _ **: I'm at the bar with some friends**_

Yuri took a sip of beer. Then his phone buzzed.

 _ **Chris: Ooh. A night out.**_  
 _ **: Haha yeah**_

"Ma poupée, who are you texting?"

"Chris." Phichit nodded and continued to converse with Khoudia.

 _ **Chris: How are your friends?**_  
 _ **: They're fine. They're discussing the NHK event.**_  
 _ **Chris: And? Do they like it?**_

"Hey, I have a question," Yuri said. Phichit and Khoudia paid attention. "Do you like the NHK event so far?"

"You interrupted us for that?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded. "I like it, so far. Victor's performance stopped hearts, but that's no secret." She took a sip of beer. "But Seung-gil's performance is my favorite for obvious reasons."

"What reasons are those?" Phichit asked. Khoudia glared at him. She just took another sip of beer and stayed silent. "Khoudia," Phichit said. "Khoudia."

 _ **: My friend likes Seung-gil's performance.**_  
 _ **Chris: A Seung-gil stan? Of course lmao**_  
 _ **: Not a stan. A professional skater.**_  
 _ **Chris: Oh? What's their name?**_

"Khoudia, Chris is asking for your name." Yuri put his phone down and took a sip. "What do you want me to say?"

"Khoudia." She sucked her teeth and looked back at Phichit. She seemed genuinely peeved.

 _ **: Khoudia.**_  
 _ **Chris: Does she have an IG?**_

"Do you mind if I give him your Instagram?" Yuri asked. Khoudia waved her hand. He interpreted that as a "yes" and gave it to Chris. He said that he was going to follow her immediately. "He's going to follow you on Instagram." Khoudia nodded. "Can you two start talking to each other again?" Yuri said. "Phichit, Khoudia's favorite performance is Seung-gil's performance because she has a fan crush on him. Khoudia, literally no one would know why his performance is your favorite because you're thirsting over female skaters all the time. There."

"Thank you for explaining that, Yuri," Phichit said.

"I am not that gay all the time," Khoudia muttered.

"Yes you are," Phichit said. "We literally would not be in a gay bar right now if you could stop being gay and liking girls who aren't interested in you." Khoudia deadpanned.

"All I'm saying is that Franziska could've at least texted me back and tell me that she wasn't interested in talking to me. It's not hard."

"Maybe she lost your number," Yuri suggested. He emotionally prepared himself for the backlash.

"How do you lose a number on an iPhone? Tell me how!" Khoudia screeched.

"Calm down. She hasn't texted back and she probably won't. We're here to get your mind _off_ of her." Phichit took a sip of his beverage. "Now, let's focus on something that isn't her."

"One more thing?"

"Yes," Phichit said.

"She's at the NHK event," Khoudia said and took a sip of beer. "There. It's out of my system." She took another sip and scratched her forehead. "I really needed a night like this." Yuri nodded. "And this night is advantageous for Yuri, too," she said.

"Why me?"

"You can get your mind off of your boyfriend tonight," she said. "Also, Phichit gets to be with us. We all win tonight." Khoudia beamed, her gap teeth showing. And so they yapped and yapped about minutia until their third pitcher of beer. Then they started to reminisce about Pride 2013 and how it was a lovely adventure for all of them. It was before Adé had got with their current partner and their partner took control of most of their social life. They went out freely and didn't have to worry about displeasing their partner in some minute way. It was an infinitely better time before Jordan. They were still estranged from their family, but Adé only had to disappoint their family twice. They didn't have to live in too much fear. They were simply the carefree black kid that they've always been – before and after coming out.

But that was then. This is now. And Adé's partner is a whole asshole.

#

 **(Sunday, 22 November 2015 – 2:44am, Detroit, Michigan)**

They called it a night hours ago. Khoudia had gotten the number of a cute criminal justice major. She was 5'9 and had curly black hair. She said she didn't go to bars much, but she was glad that she met someone while she was out. That made Khoudia happy.

But now they were home. Khoudia laid in Phichit's bed, cuddled up with his hamster throw. Phichit was in bed with Yuri, sharing the Starry Night Over the Rhône throw. Unlike the humans, the hamsters were actually asleep.

"Hey," Khoudia said. She put her phone under the pillow.

"What?" Phichit asked. He stopped scrolling through his feed for a moment.

"Are we really going to have an intervention?" She asked and rolled over to face the two.

"I was just throwing the idea out there. Do we even have the faculties to have one?" Yuri yawned in Phichit's ear. "Gross," he said. "Yuri, what do you think we should do? You have the most experience with mental health stuff."

"I'm not the best person to consult about this," Yuri said.

"But you're the only person with hands-on psych stuff experience," Khoudia said.

"Do you really want my opinion?"

"Yes," Phichit said.

"Fine." Yuri scratched his chest. "We can't make Adé break up with Jordan even if we wanted to. The best we can do is tell Adé that we don't care for them, provide our reasons _why_ , and hope that they take them to heart. We can assist them and give them the resources they need to pull away, but they need to make that decision on their own. They have to want to get out of the coffin."

"Who said anything about coffins?" Phichit asked.

"No one, but I'm trying to make a point here," Yuri said. "We _can_ hold the intervention, but it might not be the most effective way to get our point across." Yuri yawned. "Do what you want. I'll get roped along eventually." Yuri checked his phone.

 _ **Chris: How was the bar?**_  
 _ **: It was nice. Khoudia got a number.**_  
 _ **Chris: Nice, nice.**_

Yuri rolled on his back.

 _ **Chris: When's your next event?**_  
 _ **: Next week.**_  
 _ **Chris: Ooh!**_  
 _ **Chris: I finally get the chance to meet Victor's beloved**_  
 _ **Chris: I'm so excited. What should we do when we link up?**_

Yuri looked at the notification. He put his phone under his pillow and closed his eyes. He doesn't have to respond right now. He'll get to that in the morning.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: If you're still in school, I hope you have a nice first day of school!


	52. Chapter 52

Ryuugazaki: I confess that I'm binging on the Twilight series as I write Chapter 63.

So there might be a YOI Twilight fanfic in these cards. Idk idk

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Two  
 **(Sunday, 22 November 2015 – 7:07am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Ah, солнышко," Victor said. Yuri was sweeping the living room in preparation for his stretching. Eduvigis had complained that Yuri wasn't stretching as often as he should. She said that his back was tighter than it needs to be. So what does Yuri do? Decide to stretch his back and hips. Eduvigis also complained about his hips needing to regain their flexibility. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." Yuri stopped sweeping and went to get the dustpan. "How's Japan treating you?" He asked. Yuri came back to the broom and continued to sweep.

"I like it. I wish I could read the signs, though." Yuri chuckled. "But I found a bookstore. Shame I couldn't read anything in there."

"What's the bookstore called?"

"Tsutsaya, I think."

"Oh, Tsutaya? Nice," Yuri said and started to sweep up the dust and grit. "I go in there a lot. Well, _went_ in there a lot." Yuri yawned. "That changed when the fire nation attacked." He laughed at his own joke, but Victor was silent. "Victor?"

"I don't understand your joke, Yura," he said.

"It's an ATLA reference, Victor."

"I don't know what that is," he said. Yuri stopped sweeping and looked at his phone. "What is it?" Yuri briefly debated on hanging up his phone, but opted for not being a rude ass and keeping him on the line.

"It's from the opening of a cartoon." Yuri swept the dust and grit into the dustpan and disposed of it. "You need to watch it. I'll watch it with you. It's a good show." Yuri swept the living room again.

"I'd like that a lot," Victor said. "How many things did we say that we're going to do together?"

"I… I don't know," Yuri said. He swept the second batch of dust and grit into the dustpan and disposed of it again. Then he went back to sweep some more. "Do you still want to watch me do digital art?"

"Yes." Yuri heard a popping sound and it didn't come from him.

"We have to talk," Yuri said. Now he has _two_ things to tell Victor.

"What does it entail?"

"Two things," Yuri muttered. "The nature of our relationship and something else." Victor made a sound of confusion.

"I… I thought our relationship was established," Victor said. "I asked 'what are we' and –"

"You kind of have to be explicit with me." Yuri yawned. "Reading between lines and analyzing subtext is not my specialty and I am not too skilled in it." Yuri swept up the third batch of dust and grit – which was hardly anything at all – into the dustpan and threw it away. He should be able to stretch without feeling grit on his skin.

"So what do you want?"

"Be clear about this."

"Aren't you my boyfriend?" Victor asked.

"I am?" Yuri asked. He got on the floor and started to stretch.

"Yes!" Victor declared.

"Alright then," Yuri said. "I'm your boyfriend." Yuri bit his lip. He let the word rest on his palate, taking it in. He wanted to get used to this. Doubly so since he heard it from the horse's mouth. "But that's only part of what I wanted to ask you."

"There's more?" Victor asked.

"Yes," Yuri said. "But I think I'd rather talk about that later."

"You can't tell me that there's 'more' and then refuse to elaborate on what 'more' means," Victor said. "So tell me now."

"It involves Phichit. We might have to go out." Yuri switched to a new position. "He really wants to sit down and have a chat with you."

"And I would like to sit down with him, too," he said. "When does he want to chat?" Yuri pulled himself up from his stretch and looked at his phone. He didn't expect to get this far with this discussion. Hell, he didn't think he'd actually have this discussion. He expected Victor to just accept that there was more to be said that couldn't be said in that moment and leave it at that.

"I don't know. I'll have to ask him."

"Good." Yuri nodded and moved into a new position. This one really stretched his hamstrings. "So, what time is it there?"

"7:28."

"What are you doing up?"

"Sweeping," Yuri said and switched to his other leg. "I just wanted to sweep this morning." He left out the stretching that came after the sweeping. He's never mentioned Eduvigis to Victor before and he doesn't plan on doing that right now. He knows that he can't keep this up; he can't keep up the apathy and being a closed book, offering only excerpts and samples. He'll have to start _somewhere_. "But right now I'm stretching," Yuri said, before he could catch himself trying to filter his words.

"Stretching? What for?"

"My ballet instructor complained that I'm too stiff." Yuri laid prone on the floor. "So here I am. Stretching. Like she asked." Yuri sat with his back to the back of the chair. "Well, it was less like she asked and more like she… I don't know. Demanded?" He looked at the entrance to the hallway. "I only caught part of what she said. She was speaking so fast that I couldn't totally catch what she was saying. But I did catch that she was irate about it and that _something_ means nothing without the flexibility to go with it."

"Something?"

"I missed the word that she said before 'means,'" Yuri said. "Eduvigis, for lack of a better word, asked and I will supply."

"Is that her name? Eduvigis?" Victor stumbled over his ballet instructor's name. "What kind of name is that?"

"I don't know, but I know that it's her name and it's very good for her." Yuri looked at his feet. "She explained once that it's derived from Hedwig. So I guess that if you have a problem saying Eduvigis, you can say Hedwig."

"Where is she from?"

"Havana," Yuri said. He made a split, but it wasn't a 180º one. Yuri decided to continue with a different type of hip flexibility stretch. Victor was silent. "Eduvigis is nice. I think you'd like her. I'd suggest that you come with me to a ballet lesson so you can meet her, but you have a class on Friday mornings."

"You remember that?" Victor sounded genuinely surprised.

"Of course I did." Yuri made a face in response to the pulling sensation in his inner thigh. "If you could look past her accent – which is adorable, might I add – I think you'd like her. She counts in Spanish!" Yuri gushed. "She's adorable when she speaks Spanish!" He flopped on the floor and laid there. Yuri heard footsteps coming towards the living room. He looked at the entrance; it was Khoudia.

"What are you doing?" Khoudia asked.

"Stretching," Yuri said to Khoudia. She walked over to his body and knelt down. "What are you doing up so early?"

"Who are you talking to?" Victor asked.

"Khadijah," Yuri told Victor.

"Yuri, who is that?"

"My boyfriend," Yuri said. Khoudia got up and went back into the room. "She spent the night with us. We went out last night." Khoudia came back with the mat she uses for morning prayer when she's here. She shook it out towards the door and placed it parallel to Yuri's body. "Khoudia, are you really?" Yuri asked.

"Yes," she said. "Continue stretching. I'll just pray." She got up to go to the bathroom. She has to go and do her ablutions and cover her hair before she starts.

"Khoudia is going to pray right now."

"Why did you say her name differently?" Victor asked.

"Because that's her name," Yuri said. "Her name is Khoudia."

"But you told me Khadijah."

"I told you 'Khadijah' because she finds it simpler to tell people rather than walking them through pronouncing 'Khoudia.'" Yuri sat up and pushed Khoudia's mat closer to the wall. "I've been meaning to explain that to you sooner." Victor stayed silent. "If it helps, you can still say Khadijah. She doesn't mind."

"Still though," he said. "How do you say 'Khoudia'?" Victor stumbled over her name. "I want to know."

"Khuu-ja," Yuri said. "It's the French spelling of the Wolof pronunciation."

"Khuu…ja?"

"Yes," Yuri said. He looked down the hall. The bathroom door was still closed. "Khoudia might be able to explain it better than me."

"No, no, this is fine," Victor said. There was a silence. "So what is she doing right now?"

"Washing up for prayer." Yuri thought he saw the door open, but it was still closed. "She's Muslim," he elaborated.

"Ah," Victor said. "Is she devout?"

Yuri thought. Then he decided. "No, she's not." Khoudia's family habitually calls her a bad Muslimah. Unlike her elder sisters, she wears tight fitting clothes, doesn't wear a hijab, drinks, and she frequently keeps company with those who are haram to her. On top of that, she's also a figure skater – something her father disapproves of highly. They let her do it, but they also shame her for being the extremely odd one. They're more lenient with her younger siblings, though. If it wasn't for Khoudia paving the way, Amadou wouldn't be allowed to pursue music, Malik wouldn't be allowed to aspire to be a professional basketball player, and Aida and Yande wouldn't be allowed to do ballet. She's a trail blazer.

Khoudia came out of the bathroom, her face, hands, and feet washed. She knelt down on the mat.

"I heard you trying to explain how to pronounce my name," Khoudia said. "You did a good job, Yuri."

"Hello Khoudia," Victor said, using his newfound knowledge. "How are you today?"

"Hungover. I'll live, though." Khoudia scratched her neck and rubbed her eyes. "Are you going to watch?" She asked Yuri. He nodded. "I ask you two to please be quiet."

"I have one question," Yuri said. She nodded. "Didn't you already miss the first prayer time?" Khoudia looked at Yuri and sucked his teeth. "That's a yes, isn't it?" She rolled her eyes.

Then she got up and stood on the mat. She raised her hands to her ears and said "Allahu akbar." She placed her hands on her sternum and kept her gaze downward. She started a recitation. Then she went into ruku and said "Allahu akbar." Yuri got gratification out of watching Khoudia go through the motions of praying. Then she muttered a sentence. Yuri extended his right leg to the right and leaned sideways. He was stretching his hamstring again. Then she stood up straight and started another recitation. Then she went into sajdah and said "Allahu akbar." Then she muttered another sentence. Then Khoudia sat on her knees and repeated a sentence three times. She went back into sajdah and repeated another sentence three times. Then she sat on her knees again; thus ends the first rakat. She did this two more times and then she finished by saying her valedictions to the angels on her shoulders. She was done now.

"You two can talk now," Khoudia said. "Yuri, do you need me to help you stretch?"

"I need to work on my middle splits."

"I got you," she said. "Assume the position."

"Can I stretch my other leg first?" Khoudia nodded. Yuri brought his right leg in and extended his left leg towards the left, his toes en pointe. He leaned sideways. Khoudia got off of her mat and went to put it away. "Victor, are you still there?"

"I am." There was a silence. "Do you know what Khoudia was saying when she was praying?"

"Not a clue," Yuri said. He raised himself up from his position and raised his hands towards the ceiling. Khoudia came back.

"Are you ready?" Yuri nodded. "Great!" She sat in front of Yuri. "Also, you two can continue talking. Pretend I'm not here or whatever." Then she got behind Yuri and shoved him forward. "You need more room behind you. So, Victor, how's Japan?"

"It's so lovely," Victor said. "I wish I could read the signs, though."

"Did you know that Yuri's family has an _onsen_ in Kyushu?" Khoudia volunteered. She wasn't specific about where their _onsen_ was, but she gave the island. He rolled his eyes. Yuri stretched his legs forward and reached as Khoudia pressed down on his back.

"He's never told me that." Khoudia plucked Yuri's neck. "He doesn't talk about himself too much," Victor said. Khoudia plucked Yuri's neck again.

"Ah, well, he's kind of withdrawn and stuff." Khoudia stopped pressing down on Yuri's back and Yuri sat up.

"How long have you known him?" Victor asked. Khoudia had Yuri twist left and right. Then she had him stretch forward and reach again.

"I've known him since I started college," she said and pressed down on his back. "He's a super chill person."

"I don't know if 'chill' is the word I'd use," Victor said. Yuri glared at his phone. "I'd say reserved or withdrawn."

"To the untrained eye, Yuri does look rather withdrawn. Even to the trained eye, he still looks withdrawn." Khoudia had Yuri sit up again. "Underneath his withdrawn exterior, there is an entire fire within him." Yuri twisted left then right again. "I'm glad he's found someone. I mean that, truly," she said.

"I'm glad I've found him," Victor said. There was a silence. Khoudia slapped Yuri's back.

"Say something!" She whispered harshly. Yuri stayed silent. "He won't come out and say it, but he's glad he has you, too." She giggled. Unlike her laugh, it was sweet and airy. Yuri reached towards his feet again and Khoudia pressed down on his back. "He's not very good with emotions."

"So I've heard," Victor said.

"He'll get there. I'll make him get there."

"No you won't," Yuri said. "I'll get there when I get there." Khoudia slapped Yuri's back and he winced. "You can stop helping me now. You're going to kill me after this."

"No I won't. I wouldn't dare touch a hair on your head." Khoudia stood up. "Now, 180º split time."

"I don't think I'm physically ready for that right now," Yuri muttered.

"Just try it," she sweetly prodded. "You're not so stiff that you've lost the ability to do splits, are you?"

"I'm not, but–"

"So do it," she said. Yuri spread his legs and reached towards his left foot. Khoudia pressed down on Yuri's right side to deepen it.

"I think I'll leave you two to your stretching," Victor said. "I don't want to disturb you any more than I already have."

"Well, it was lovely talking to you!" Khoudia beamed. "I hope I get to talk to you again. This was nice."

"It certainly was," Victor said. "Sunshine, I'll text you." Khoudia grinned when she heard that. Yuri could tell that she was going to have a field day with that. "I love you." Then Khoudia's eyes widened. She looked at Yuri, waiting for a response. She flicked his neck in order to get a response from him.

"I–I love you, too," Yuri said. He felt his chest constrict. He couldn't believe that he had just said that – out loud, nonetheless. It felt wrong to him. Not because he was saying it to a man – he's said it to several men – but because it was under duress. He had wanted his first "I love you" to be organic, springing from a place of perfect ecstasy and harmony. He's almost said it after their bouts of messing around, but he's always held himself back. "A better time," he told himself. That better time never really came around – or maybe it did, instead it was just unidentifiable to Yuri.

Khoudia hung up the phone and smiled as if she had accomplished something great today.

#

 **(Sunday, 22 November 2015 – 9:09am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri, Phichit, and Khoudia agreed to get something to eat before they take her home. So they were sitting in a diner, looking over the menus. "I can't believe you two were up before me. And Khoudia actually did her morning prayer."

"Even though she missed the first one."

"I was _drunk_ , okay?" Khoudia said. She muttered something under her breath about being drunk and praying. Then she continued to look at her menu. "Last night was fun." This was spoken like less of an opinion spoken by an active participant and more like a casual observation.

"And no one tried to use a swing set like a dance pole," Phichit said. "I'm proud of you two."

"We just went out for beers," Yuri said. "If it had been rum or vodka, I can't promise you that that wouldn't have happened."

"You two just need to stay away from hard liquor." Yuri and Khoudia laughed. "How did you two sleep?" Khoudia shrugged. "What about you, ma poupée?"

"I… I slept," Yuri said. "I did that." Then he looked at his phone. He had two texts from Mari.

 _ **Mari: Hey there, little brother**_  
 _ **Mari: What's new with you?**_

"You two are wrecks," Phichit said with a laugh. Yuri took a quick flick of Khoudia and Phichit looking at their menus. Yuri already knew what he wanted.

 _ **: It's almost the end of the semester**_  
 _ **: I do not want to die**_  
 _ **: My next event is this coming week**_  
 _ **: Wait hold on**_

"Khoudia," Yuri said, "you know our event is this week, right?" Khoudia looked like she had glass thrown in her face. Her hands found their way to her face and she held them there. "Are you okay?"

"I haven't even started packing." She took out her phone. "It's time for me to ask Adeola and Fatou to do me a favor." She unlocked her phone and started texting. "I know I'll have to go behind them and check, but still."

 _ **: Okay so my event is this week**_  
 _ **: It's almost the end of the semester**_  
: I _**do**_ want to die  
 _ **: I am very anxious**_  
 _ **: haha :*(**_

"You two are going to leave me all alone," Phichit said, pouting slightly.

"You won't be alone," Khoudia said. "You have Masabeeh and Tal'at to keep you company." Phichit rolled his eyes. "And maybe Adé's partner would be so gracious to let Adé spend the night so you would have someone to talk to."

"No, no, I'll live. I have the hamsters to give me all the company I need." Phichit put down his menu. "I've decided on what I'm getting." Khoudia looked down at her menu.

"Are the pancakes here good?" Yuri nodded. "I guess I'm getting pancakes," Khoudia said and put down her menu. "I hope they have turkey bacon."

"They do," Yuri said.

"Oh, good," she said. "Are you going to make me get scones?" She questioned irreverently.

"They don't have scones." Yuri played with the edges of his menu. "Try again." Khoudia rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth. When Khoudia's phone buzzed, a waitress came out to take their orders. They ordered and resumed their chatter. "Are Adeola and Fatou going to pack for you?" Yuri asked.

"Adeola said she'll do it," Khoudia said. "Now I have to wait to see if Fatou is on board." There was a silence. "I hope she says yes. I've been less annoying than usual. She _has_ to help me if I've been less annoying."

"You've only been less annoying because you've been out of the house more," Phichit pointed out.

"Are you calling me annoying?" Khoudia asked. The waitress came back with their drinks: an iced coffee, a tea, and a glass of grape juice.

"You said it. Not me." Phichit took a sip of his tea. "Since when do you drink iced coffee?" He asked Yuri.

"Since I've started asking for a bunch of sugar in it," Yuri said. Khoudia took a sip of her grape juice. "Shouldn't you let your tea cool off before you drink it?" Yuri swirled his iced coffee and took a sip. It was nice.

"But you hate coffee."

"Correction: I hate _hot_ coffee. Iced coffee is somehow more palatable." Yuri shrugged.

"Is this one of those sensory things that you suck at explaining but understand very well?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded. "I see."

 _ **Mari: Don't worry about your event.**_  
 _ **Mari: You'll do fine.**_  
 _ **Mari: You have us to cheer you on.**_  
 _ **: I think that makes it worse somehow**_  
 _ **Mari: How so?**_

"Who are you texting? Your boyfriend?" Phichit cheekily asked.

"No. Mari," Yuri said. Phichit nodded and drank some tea. "She's saying that I don't have to worry about anything because I have _them_ – not quite sure who 'them' are, by the way – to cheer me on, but I'm not so sure." Yuri took a sip of his iced coffee. "It's not the lack of support that bothers me – and I don't lack support at all. It's not being able to perform to my fullest capacity that bothers me."

"Well, what did you do to perform the way you did at the Bompard?" Khoudia asked.

"I channeled the fervor I had for dancing with you and the feelings I have for Victor."

Khoudia nodded and said, "Recreate those feelings and do that." She took a sip of her juice. "Just summon all of the feverish desire in you and put that into your routine."

"But I don't remember how I did that," Yuri admitted.

"Well, what were you doing before you stepped on the ice?"

"I was getting my makeup done by Guang Hong," Yuri said. Khoudia made a face. "Guang Hong is one of Phichit's friends." Khoudia nodded. "Then Ciao Ciao told me that I need to stay put and stretch." Yuri took a sip of his coffee. "So I stretched and warmed up like he told me."

"Did you think about anything in particular?" Khoudia took a sip of her grape juice and pressed her lower lip against the lip of the glass. Yuri shrugged. "Come on, you _had_ to have been thinking about something." Yuri shrugged again. "Your mind is not a refuge. You have not mastered Zen. You were thinking about something."

"I thought about coming home and being with you two. And I also thought about my next date and all the things that might happen." Yuri took a sip of his coffee and kept his gaze downward.

"Come on, you can do better than that. Break it down. Start identifying emotions," Khoudia said. She took a sip of her juice and put the cup on a napkin. Yuri shrugged. They were going to be here for a while.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm actually doing jury duty (as of uploading this – I'm on day three) and I'm super excited about it.

Also, I hate college. I hope y'alls classes are going well. Someone save me.


	53. Chapter 53

Ryuugazaki: I hope school is going well for y'all ((heart emoji))

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Three  
 **(Monday, 23 November 2015 – 2:14pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri's math class is over. He walked out of the classroom and strolled. He decided to go to the cafeteria to get a water. The vending machine doesn't have anything worthwhile in there. The only thing worthy of purchase _was_ water. It was 29ºF today so he decided against going outside. Instead, he went up to the library and sat in the space he shared with Victor. He opened his "Monday" binder. He has a European history essay to do. Yuri looked at the prompt and deemed it to be relatively simple. He has an idea on what he wants to do for the paper and he feels that he's able to knock it out the park.

Yuri put his binder away and looked across from him. On a normal day, Victor would be here, next to Yuri. They would be discussing some inane thing. Victor would be all heart eyes, hand holds, and quick heart beats; Yuri would be internally and externally trembling. He would quake in delight and anxiety with every little thing Victor did. On a special day, they would be together, somewhere else. Yuri would rather have a normal day or a special day; either one was fine with him. As long as it wasn't today.

He took out his sketchbook and started to draw the bookshelf across from him. His phone buzzed as he reached for his ruler.

 _ **Mari: What are you doing, little brother?**_  
 _ **: Drawing a bookshelf.**_  
 _ **Mari: Sounds boring as hell lmao**_  
 _ **Mari: I'm gonna call you really quick**_

A call came through from Mari and Yuri picked up. "Hey there, little brother," Mari said. Yuri smiled. "How's that bookshelf coming along?" Yuri looked at it and then at the page. Then back at the bookshelf and back at the page. "Well?"

"It could be better. I'll send you a picture." Yuri sent Mari a flick of his drawing. It looked gross and that upset Yuri. "Did you see it?"

"Yeah. It looks like it could be better."

"It can be," Yuri said. "What about you?" Yuri asked. "How have your artistic pursuits been going?"

"Well, I haven't been too inspired to write much of anything and I haven't read anything new." Mari sighed. "I've just been working. I need something new." A light bulb went off in Yuri's head.

"I have a suggestion for you!"

"You do? Tell me."

"Crime and Punishment."

"Crime… and… Punishment?" She repeated. "Who wrote that?"

"Fyodor Dostoyevsky," Yuri said, reaching in his bag to look at the cover of the book. "It's a thick book. It'll keep you occupied for a while."

"Why are you reading Russian literature?" Mari asked. "What got you into it?"

"Well, my friend is Russian and I wanted to surprise them by reading it," Yuri said. "Plus, I am trying to be cultured." Yuri let the book rest on his binder.

"Why do you need to be cultured?" Mari asked. "You're already cultured. You're an artist." Mari had aspirations to be an artist, but discovered that drawing wasn't in her portion. She discovered that she was a stronger writer. It worked out in the end. Mari majored in Japanese Language and Literature and loved every moment of it.

"I decided that I needed to expand my literature palate." Mari scoffed. "What? Can't I expand my palate?"

"You _can_ , but it's weird. Why are you doing this for a person?" Mari questioned. "Do you like them?" Yuri was silent. "Do you even know that you like them?"

"I like him a lot," Yuri said. He didn't care that he didn't keep it ambiguous anymore. He'd have to come out to his family eventually. Maybe he could make headway today.

"Him?" Mari asked. "It's a guy?"

"Yes," Yuri said, weakly. "He's a guy and I'm… I'm all about him." Yuri looked at the book cover. "Maybe I'll bring him home one day." Yuri bit his lip and started to think about his heart-mouthed lover. What was he doing right now? Yuri would have to text him to find out. "I want to bring him home one day."

"Is that a good idea?" Mari asked. "To bring him home, I mean." Yuri felt his heart threaten to beat its way out of his chest. He instantly regretted trying to come out to his sister. He regretted it not because his sister wouldn't understand, but because this was a difficult conversation that he didn't plan out _at all_ and it's showing. "You know I'll support you – always and forever – but is this really what you want? Do you really want to bring this person home?"

Yuri sighed and closed his eyes. "You're right."

"Yuri, if you're gay, just claim it. But I'm asking you right now: Is this what you want?"

"Mari, I'm not gay."

"You're not? Then why are we discussing bringing a man home to Mom and Dad?"

"I'm pansexual."

"Hold on, let me look that up," Mari said. She put her phone down. Yuri heard keys being tapped and mouse buttons being clicked. "Oh," she said. "I get it now. I think." There was a silence. "Do you really want this? Are you serious about this?"

"I do and I am." There was a silence. "I think I'm in love."

"And I'm happy for you," Mari said. "Do you have any concrete plans to bring him home?" Mari clicked something.

"No, not yet," Yuri said. "Right now, all I have is the desire to do so." Mari chuckled. "What?"

"I know nothing about this person of yours." Mari yawned. "What's his name? What does he look like? What does he study? Come on, tell me." She laughed. "Who has gotten your heart in such a bind?"

"His name is –" Yuri looked up from his phone. Khoudia was standing in front of him. How strange. He didn't hear her approach.

"I knew you'd be here," she said.

"Mari, I'm going to have to call you back." Mari ended the call and Yuri put his phone in his pocket. "Hey Khoudia," Yuri said. Khoudia took a seat near Yuri and sighed. "Didn't you say that you weren't coming in today?"

"I did," she admitted. "But I just had to get away from them for a bit. Adeola and Fatou were being rude asses and my mom wasn't trying to stop them. I couldn't take it anymore."

"So you come to the campus?" She nodded. "That's rough," Yuri said.

"What about you? Why are you here when you have a bunch of packing to do?" Khoudia nudged Yuri.

"I just needed some normalcy," Yuri said. "Something normal before my life is thrown into disarray." Khoudia laughed.

"College for professional figure skaters is anything _but_ normal, ma raison," she said. "Do you want to go to the café really quick? We can get a hot chocolate." Yuri nodded and put Crime and Punishment away. He buttoned up his coat and left the library, trailing behind Khoudia. "Why are you behind me? Stand next to me." Yuri stood next to Khoudia and stretched. "Show off," she scoffed. Yuri laughed. They waited and waited for the elevator. "Do you want to take the stairs?"

"Sure," Yuri said. They took the stairs to the first floor and walked out of the building. They walked to the corner. "So what were Adeola and Fatou doing?"

"They were picking on me and they wouldn't stop."

"Are they still packing your things?"

"They should be finished by now," Khoudia said. The light changed; they crossed the street and continued walking. "I hate being the middle daughter. I'm always ignored except for when they want to tease me." Khoudia stopped walking and held opened a door. "We're here. Have you been in this one before?"

"I don't think so," Yuri said. "Is the hot chocolate here good?" He asked as he walked through the door.

"It's _divine_ ," she said. "When you drink it, it's like your tongue is being _caressed_ by velvet. But you know what that's like, don't you?" Khoudia said. She laughed and a woman standing by the napkins looked at her.

"Wait, are you referring to that time I rubbed my face on a roll of velvet or are you talking about my boyfriend?" They walked to the back of the line. Khoudia was looking at the bulletin board.

"Can't I be referring to both?"

"I mean, I _guess_ you could," Yuri said. "But it's you. You were referring to Victor." Khoudia laughed again. "You're going to get us kicked out of some place one day."

"Why?"

"Because of your laugh." Khoudia sucked her teeth. "I'm being serious," Yuri said. They moved up the line. "Your laugh is so weird that people look at us and want to vacate the premises." She sucked her teeth again. "You do realize that white people are afraid of you, right?"

"I know," Khoudia said. "I relish in their fear. Because I am great and everyone needs to recognize that." It was Yuri's turn to laugh. "What? Do you disagree with me?"

"No, I know you're great and I feel like your greatness should be recognized." They moved up the line. "But I feel like you're using 'fear' in its archaic form." Khoudia shrugged and took out her phone. She took a flick of Yuri. "Is that going on your Instagram?" She nodded. "Of course it is." Yuri's phone buzzed. "Did you just post it?" She nodded.

"Have you spoken to Victor today?"

"Not yet. He'll probably call later," Yuri said. "The NHK Exhibition skate is today, right?" Khoudia nodded. "Nice. I hope he calls to tell me about it."

"Or you could just watch it online," Khoudia said. "Literally just watch it online." Khoudia took a selfie. "What were you talking about with Mari? Victor?" She curiously asked.

"Yeah, I was telling her about him." Yuri looked at his shoes. "Well, _was_. Then you came along and I had to hang up." Khoudia smirked. They moved up the line. "What size are you getting?"

"Medium."

"Then I'll get a medium," Yuri said.

"What were you telling her about him? Well, planning to, rather."

"His name… His major…" Yuri bit his lip. "I might've gotten around to showing Mari a picture of him." Yuri shrugged.

 _ **Chris: A few more days and I get to meet you!**_  
 _ **Chris: I'm so excited!**_

"What do you think she would have done if you told her that it's your crush, Victor Nikiforov?" Khoudia raised her hands to her face and punctuated Victor's name with jazz hands. Yuri shrugged. "Do you think she'd believe you?"

"She might just laugh and say 'try again.'"

"I see where you get your wit from," Khoudia said and sucked her teeth. "Move up." They moved up the line; they were almost at the register with two people ahead of them.

"It's not the only thing I get from Mari," Yuri said. Khoudia snickered. Mari has taught him many things and dry wit is not the only thing.

"If she taught you social skills, I think you need to tell her that she did a bad job." Yuri rolled his eyes and looked at his phone. He should probably get back to Chris' message.

 _ **: I'm excited to meet you too**_  
 _ **Chris: Aaah! What hotel are you staying at? I'll come and visit you**_

"I kind of want a cake pop," Yuri audibly mused. "Should I get a cake pop?"

"Yes," she said. "Get the cake pop." She poked Yuri's belly through the coat. "Get it, chicken."

"What flavor?"

"Chocolate, duh," she said. Yuri texted Chris as he nodded.

 _ **: I'll be at the Gostinitsa Arena**_  
 _ **Chris: And I will be there, too!**_  
 _ **Chris: This is fate.**_  
 _ **Chris: We were meant to meet. This is proof.**_

Yuri looked up at the overhead menu. They sell green tea lattes here. He scoffed at that. Then he looked through his text messages. Victor had sent him a picture of his skates.

 _ **: Aah, your skates**_

Yuri put his phone away. Victor's probably asleep right now. Then Yuri started to think. It was about 2am in Japan when Mari called. Victor's probably on his way back to America now. Yuri was overjoyed. And also anxious. Wednesday is fast approaching.

#

 **(Monday, 23 November 2015 – 6:36pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Yuri!" Phichit called from the kitchen. He decided to work on dinner tonight; Yuri wanted to pack. He still wasn't fully unpacked from the Bompard so he didn't have _too_ much to do. But still. He was unpacking and repacking – wash, rinse, repeat. "Yuri," Phichit said. Yuri looked at the door; he didn't hear Phichit's footsteps this time.

"What?" Yuri extended his left leg to his front.

"I keep trying to ask you if you're going to eat dinner with me tonight, but you're not responding."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Yuri murmured. He played with the zipper of his suitcase. "What are you making for dinner?"

"Stir fry," Phichit said. "So, will you be eating with me tonight?" Yuri nodded. "Ah, I'm being the afforded the privilege of eating with a Grand Prix medalist."

"Phichit–"

"I know, I know, not yet. But you will be. And I'm so excited!" Phichit gushed. "What should I make you when you come back from the Rostelecom Cup?" Yuri was tempted to say "katsudon," but didn't want to burden Phichit with the task of making it like his mother. "I was thinking chicken marsala and angel hair pasta with broccoli and garlic. I'm not sure if I want to make dessert yet, though."

"Phichit, you don't have to do that."

"Too late. I've thought it and I'm going to – what's that thing Khoudia and Adé say? Speak it into existence?" There was a silence. "No matter the case, I'm going to do it." Yuri shrugged and looked at his fingers. "Are you done packing?"

"I'm not done."

"Now, when you say 'not done' do you mean 'not done' as in 'haven't finished packing' or 'not done' as in 'I'm still engaging in my rituals'?"

"I think it's the second one."

"So you're done then," Phichit said. "Come, I want you to read the directions to me as I cook."

"Is this another All Recipes recipe?" Phichit nodded. "Fine. As long as I don't have to touch the food." Yuri got up from his spot on the floor and dusted himself off. He followed Phichit into the kitchen and stood by the counter. Phichit gave Yuri his phone. "Is this the recipe?" Phichit nodded and went back to the pan. He let his hand hover over the surface of the pan. "That honestly terrifies me when you do that." Phichit had the rice going already.

"I know what I'm doing."

"I _know_ you do, but it still scares me. I'm afraid that something might happen."

"Nothing's going to happen to my hand," Phichit said, trying to assure his partner in crime. "Now start reading." So Yuri read the first of the directions to Phichit.

"Did you do that already?" Phichit nodded. "Okay," Yuri said. Then he read the second direction. "Did you do that?"

"No," Phichit said. "It's three tablespoons, right?" Yuri nodded. Phichit measured out three tablespoons and added that to the pan. Then he added the peas, broccoli, and diced peppers to the pan. "Do I cover this?" Yuri nodded. Phichit covered the pan. "What about the heat?" Yuri looked at the directions.

"Medium-high for four minutes."

"Time it." Yuri went to Phichit's timer and set it for four minutes. Phichit went to stir the rice. "What now?" Yuri read the third direction. Phichit went to the garlic cloves and minced them with ease. Phichit usually moved around the kitchen like he was in control of everything. "Has it been four minutes yet?" Yuri shook his head. "How was your day today, ma poupée?"

"Kind of boring. But I saw Khoudia today so that helped."

"You actually saw Khoudia on campus?" Phichit was shocked. You could very rarely catch her on campus. Especially on Monday. "Did she go to class?"

"No, she came to the library and found me," Yuri said. "I think she was avoiding her French class." Khoudia avoids her French class for an entirely different reason compared to Yuri. She speaks French fluently, but she speaks Senegambian French. She took French because she thought it would be an easy class, but her professor insists that her French is always incorrect. Always. Even when she gives a one-word answer. When Khoudia does go to her French class, she makes sure to be extra petty and give the most African French answers. That's probably why she keeps getting Cs in her French class.

"Damn, I thought she would actually, you know, go to her French class and be compliant." Phichit checked the fire and returned to stir the rice.

"It's Khoudia," Yuri reminded him. "She said Adeola and Fatou were being annoying so she had to leave."

"And come to campus," Phichit said. "The library of all places."

"I was just as surprised as you."

"So what did you two do?"

"We went to this café across the street for hot chocolate. Khoudia said that it's really good." Phichit nodded. The timer sounded. "Clear the pan." Phichit nodded and did that. "Add the half of the beef and garlic for up to two minutes." Phichit nodded and did that, too. "Time it?" Phichit nodded; Yuri set the timer for two minutes.

"And you trust her?" Phichit laughed. "She thinks we're gross for drinking aloe water. You can't trust her judgment." Yuri laughed. "You have an appointment tomorrow with Luzia and Noêmia, right?"

"I do. I have so much to tell them." Yuri got on the counter. "I can't wait until everything is back to normal. I miss seeing Luzia once a week."

"I could imagine," Phichit said. "Schedule changes aren't the easiest on you. Hopefully, once the Grand Prix is over, we can just live normally again." Phichit checked the fire again and stir-fried the meat and garlic. "And yes, poupée, I mean once the Grand Prix is over." Yuri rolled his eyes. The timer sounded.

"Alright, now take the beef in the pan out and add the rest of the beef and garlic." Phichit nodded and did as Yuri said. "Do you have the stir fry sauce?" Phichit pointed to the counter by the fridge. "You're prepared."

"I made it this morning." Phichit mixed the beef. Then he added the beef and vegetables and mixed in the stir-fry sauce. "I've been wanting this stir-fry and I decided to make it, finally." Yuri nodded. "Poupée," Phichit said, "I know I told you that you wouldn't have to do anything, but can you check the rice?" Yuri got off of the counter and went to the stove eye. He uncovered the rice and looked at it. "Grab a fork and see if it's done." Yuri did as Phichit asked. "Is it done?" He nodded. "Turn off the eye." Yuri turned off the stove eye and fluffed the rice. "Thank you, baby," Phichit said.

"No problem," Phichit added the crushed red pepper to the stir-fry and mixed it one more time.

"I'm glad that you're going to eat with me tonight," Phichit admitted. Yuri smiled. He's glad that he's eating tonight, too.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: ((heart emoji))


	54. Chapter 54

Ryuugazaki: It's Inktober and I have a paper to write. So what do I do? Neither of those things and update this fanfic.

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Four  
 **(Tuesday, 24 November 2015 – 12:50pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

After Yuri had eaten yesterday, he realized that he needed to iron his clothes and costumes. Then he realized that he still needs to gather his necessities. Phichit offered to help him after they ate dinner; Phichit is such a pure, wholesome light being. Tomorrow, Yuri reminded himself, that he's going to get his medicine refilled and check his equipment. This time Yuri didn't have a meltdown while he was packing.

But today Yuri was waiting to see his therapist. "Yuri?" Luzia stepped to the middle of the entrance of the waiting room. She was wearing a brown turtleneck. She smiled when she saw Yuri. "Long time no see," she said. Yuri got up and approached her to follow her. "You have to tell me about your event." They walked to her office. She got in her chair and Yuri looked around. She has a new tchotchke on her desk: a tiny, tinsel Christmas tree. Yuri looked at it. "Do you like it?" She asked. "It's not even Thanksgiving yet, but the unit wanted to get the decorating out of the way." Yuri nodded. "Do you celebrate?"

"Yes, but I haven't done anything Christmassy in recent years," Yuri said.

"You can touch it if you want," she said. Yuri eyed the small Christmas tree. He picked it up tentatively, taking note of the feeling of the tinsel on his hands. Then he put it on his head. Luzia smiled. "I'm glad you like my tree, Yuri." Yuri smiled. "So, tell me about the Bompard. How was it? Did you meet new people? Did you have to use your coping skills?"

"The Bompard wasn't all that bad. I placed second." Luzia cheered. "And I met two of Phichit's friends. They were nice." She cheered again. "And I hallucinated on the second day that I was there." Luzia leaned forward in her chair. "I don't know where it came from, but it was very persistent. It made showering difficult." Luzia made a face. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, but we're going to have to discuss that." She folded her hands and put them on her desk. "But continue talking. We'll discuss that once you're done."

"It was the Thursday of the event." Luzia nodded and stayed silent. "I had woken up and I heard chatter in my ears. Sometimes one of the voices would start screaming." Luzia nodded again. "I had to ask my sister to keep texting me so I can focus on something that isn't the voices."

"Good, I'm glad you reached out to someone who can listen to you," Luzia said. "How is your sister?"

"She's fine. She's still working at the _onsen_." Yuri took the tiny Christmas tree off of his head and placed it back in its spot. "But she was acting weird when I talked to her. She wanted to talk about death and that's not like her." Luzia nodded. "When I confronted her about it she was very avoidant." Luzia nodded. "She said that she wanted to tell me something important, but she would never tell me what. Now I know how Victor feels when I say 'we need to talk' but refuse to give him any hints."

"And how is Victor?"

"He's good. I saw him before he went to his event." Luzia nodded. "I still haven't told him that I'm a figure skater, too." Luzia pursed her lips. "You want to discuss that, too, don't you?" She nodded. "Can I pick what we discuss first?"

"Of course," she said.

"Let's get the difficult one out of the way," Yuri said. "Oh, wait, before I begin, Victor's my boyfriend now." Luzia nodded. She smiled, but kept it brief.

"I'm glad you said that. Now I can say this," Luzia said; Yuri nodded, "You're sabotaging the relationship." Yuri deadpanned. "You're unintentionally doing things you know that would jeopardize the relationship you're forging."

"I never expected this to happen. I never expected Victor to be…"

"Say it."

"Romantically interested in me. In any way."

"Why is that?"

"Because it's _me_!" Yuri exclaimed. "Why would he be interested in me? I go to therapy. I barely talk – he has to drag words out of me. I have the personality of a rock. Except when it comes to art. Because then I'm a rock with google eyes." Luzia chuckled and covered her mouth.

"I'm sorry. I'm just thinking of rocks with googly eyes." She composed herself. "Continue, continue."

"I'm really not that interesting of a person. Or a good person for that matter," Yuri muttered. "I've been secretive about myself and what I do since I've met him and the guilt is gnawing away at me." Yuri sighed. "He has these ideals of me and I can't live up to any of them. I mean, I can satisfy him physically – to an extent – but that's about it."

"Not telling him about what you do doesn't make you a bad person," Luzia said. "But what have I said about avoidance?" She paused. "It _doesn't_ make the problem go away. Ever. You're just putting it off until the anxiety surrounding it becomes even more unbearable than the anxiety you were trying to avoid." She reached for her purple glitter pen. "You're going to stop avoiding this. Right now." Luzia reached down at her printer and took out a blank sheet of paper. "I would very much like it if you could brainstorm things to tell Victor about you figure skating." She handed Yuri the pen. It was warm. "I won't look at you as you write. Let me know when you're done."

So Yuri started to jot down ideas. His mind couldn't offer any panaceas, but it did offer a few suggestions.

"Yuri," Luzia said, "when you said that he has _ideals_ of you that you can't live up to, what do you mean?"

Yuri didn't look up from his paper. "I think he expects… I don't know, cute, normal boyfriend stuff." Yuri sucked his teeth. "I don't know how to give him that." He looked at the sentence he was halfway through with writing. "So I guess that's why I keep doing things that might jeopardize the relationship."

Luzia nodded. "Yuri, be honest: Do you _want_ this relationship?"

Yuri looked at her like she had three heads. It was a perplexing question to him. "Of course I do," he said.

"Then act like it," she said. "Part of what's on your treatment plan is to identify unproductive behavioral patterns and make the necessary moves to change them." She pulled out another pen; this one was gold. "If it's okay with you, I would like to discuss the ones I've noticed – and the ones you've noticed, as well – and find ways to alter them." Yuri nodded. "Are you done?" Yuri nodded again.

"Before we begin," Yuri said, "I wanted to tell you that I came out to my sister yesterday."

"Oh? How did that go?"

"She was accepting of it." Yuri bit his lip. "I said that I want Victor to meet my family… I'd be okay with him meeting my family." Then he looked at his fingers. "Also, Phichit wants to have a chat with Victor." Luzia nodded. "But Phichit wants to have a chat with everyone." Yuri passed the paper to Luzia. "You can look now." She took the paper and read it.

"Yuri, why is this one a block of Japanese?" Yuri stayed silent. "You have to tell him in a language that he understands. You know, like _English._ "

"Please don't make me do this," Yuri whispered.

"No, no, you have to do it. You can't keep running from this." She pointed to the block of Japanese. "Rewrite that. In English." Yuri did as Luzia asked and added a bit to it. "Are you done?" Yuri nodded and gave Luzia the sheet of paper.

"It's not very good."

"What do you mean?" She asked. "It's sweet and to the point." She gave the paper back to Yuri. "'Victor, I'm a figure skater and I have been for years. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I could never find the perfect time to tell you. I'm sorry that I hadn't told you sooner.'" Yuri picked up the tiny, tinsel tree. "Do you want to practice it on me?" Yuri nodded.

And so Yuri practiced his statement on Luzia until he felt that it was right. Once they did that, they started to deconstruct Yuri's statements on why he's 'unsuitable' for Victor, his unproductive behaviors, and his hallucinations. Session was emotion-heavy and filled with awkward silences. That's why he was glad when session was over; he wouldn't have to deal with the deafening silence.

But he made headway in session today. That counted for something. Now Yuri was in the waiting room again, waiting for Noêmia.

#

 **(Tuesday, 24 November 2015 – 3:15pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was in his room, journaling about his session today. Despite being thrown face first into his pool of anxieties, he was glad that Luzia had him figure out what he was going to say. The hard part was complete; now he has to do the harder part: telling Victor. He knows that he still wants to tell him in person and that he wants to tell him in public. But not too public. Somewhere where they can be afforded privacy yet also a place where it would be risky to cause a scene. Yuri doubted that Victor would cause a scene, but he didn't want to risk it.

 _ **Victor: My sunshine**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm home**_  
 _ **Victor: I've missed you so much**_

Yuri smiled and looked back at his journal. He should mention that Victor's back.

 _ **: I've missed you too**_  
 _ **Victor: I want to see you as soon as possible**_  
 _ **Victor: What are you doing right now?**_  
 _ **: Journaling**_

Yuri closed his journal and left it on the desk. If Victor wants to see him "as soon as possible," he should start getting dressed. Maybe Yuri could tell Victor about this tonight. Maybe, if he played his cards right, he could tell him without Victor hating him. Maybe this wouldn't destroy their already fragile relationship. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

 _ **Victor: Maybe you could take a break from journaling and come see me?**_  
 _ **Victor: Or I can come over and see you.**_  
 _ **: It all depends on what you want to do**_  
 _ **Victor: I'd like to come over then.**_  
 _ **Victor: May I?**_

Yuri quickly texted Phichit to ask him. He said that he was going to stay late today because he wanted to get some last minute Chemistry tutoring. Phichit gave his blessing and Yuri rushed to tell Victor.

 _ **: You can come over.**_  
 _ **Victor: Nice. I'll just put my stuff down and I'll be right over.**_

Yuri took deep breaths and decided to put his journal in his carry-on bag. He felt sort of lightheaded; Victor would be stepping foot in his home to do things with him.

 _ **: What are we going to do?**_  
 _ **Victor: Something I've wanted to do for a long time.**_

Yuri looked at his phone. What does Victor want to do? Yuri was at a loss. They've already went on two dates and messed around. Has Victor mentioned this whim before? Yuri couldn't remember and he feels bad for not remembering something that seems crucial.

 _ **Victor: Get your graphics tablet ready.**_

Yuri breathed a sigh of relief. Victor just wants to watch Yuri draw.

 _ **: I will.**_  
 _ **: Do you want something to eat?**_  
 _ **: My roommate made stir fry last night.**_

Yuri got his Wacom and moved it and his laptop into the living room. If Victor said that he didn't want stir fry, he could make him something else. "Or _give_ him something else," he thought. He rolled his eyes at his own thought and checked his phone.

 _ **Victor: I'm not hungry.**_  
 _ **: How about something to drink?**_  
 _ **Victor: Does your presence count as a beverage?**_

Yuri looked at his phone and rolled his eyes again. Then he laughed.

 _ **: …Maybe?**_  
 _ **Victor: Good because I plan on drinking you up.**_

Yuri laughed harder. Then he decided that he should straighten up before Victor arrived. Victor might ask for a tour of the apartment and Yuri didn't want to show Victor a messy house. So he went into the bedroom and started to make Phichit's bed. Phichit doesn't straighten up his bed when he wakes up. By the time Yuri was done, Phichit's bed looked presentable. Then Yuri made his bed again and fluffed his pillows. Then Yuri swept the room three times. The desk was fine and so was the dresser. But then Yuri started to rearrange the Sailor Moon and Rose of Versailles statuettes that were on the dresser.

After Yuri got the statuettes the way he wanted them, he set about straightening up the living room. Phichit had cleaned the bathroom and kitchen on Saturday morning. All Yuri had to do was sweep that and spray air freshener in the bathroom. Yuri swept the living room three times and swept the kitchen twice. He swept the bathroom twice, sprayed some Febreeze, and closed that door. Then he closed the door to the bedroom.

Then Yuri heard a knock at the door. He hadn't even had the chance to straighten himself up; he cursed himself for taking time to fix the statuettes. They weren't important, but Yuri fixed them anyway. "Yuri?" It's Victor; he knocked again. Yuri dashed to the door and opened it, trying to maintain an air of casualty. "My Yura," he said. He gave Yuri a kiss. Yuri had to remind himself to breathe, but he couldn't help but forget how to do something so automatic when Victor's lips are on his. Yuri pulled Victor into his arms and held him.

"I've missed you," Yuri said when he finally pulled away. "Come in." Yuri stepped to the side and let Victor in.

"I've missed you, too," Victor said. He took off his Timbs and placed them in the corner. Yuri had a pair of bunny slippers waiting for him. Victor smiled. He sat close to the middle of the sofa, next to Yuri. "I can't believe you're going to let me watch you draw. I'm so excited!" Yuri smiled internally. "Do you have any ideas on what you want to draw?"

"Not yet," Yuri said. He was looking at a blank Photoshop page. Victor looked at Photoshop and looked at Yuri look at Photoshop. "I might draw something from my sketchbook."

"Would that make drawing easier?"

"It'd make finding inspiration easier." Yuri placed his hands on his knees. "Hold on." Yuri got up and went into his carry-on bag for his sketchbook. It was under his copy of Crime and Punishment. Yuri came back; Victor looked up from his phone. "Texting Chris?" Victor nodded. Yuri sat down and opened his sketchbook. He slowly turned the pages, absorbing the sketches.

"I have a suggestion," Victor said as he looked over Yuri's shoulder.

"What is it?"

"Draw a normal self-portrait," he said. Yuri laughed heartily. "I'm being serious."

"I'm sure you are," Yuri said. He looked at one more sketch and closed his sketchbook. Yuri picked up the stylus and started to make the top of the outline for the head.

"What are you doing?"

"Drawing, duh," Yuri said. "Pay attention." Yuri went into full-on serious mode as he refined the head shape.

"I've noticed that you're more short-spoken than usual when focusing on something."

"Am I now?" Yuri started to draw the lower half of his skull.

"Yes," Victor said. "What are you drawing?" Victor looked intently at the head. "Well, planning on drawing."

"I'm going to take your suggestion and draw a normal self-portrait," Yuri said. "I've never done one digitally before." Victor nodded. "Are you prepared for this to be bad?" Yuri asked, letting his slight excitement shine through. He was smiling.

"It's not going to be bad," Victor said. "It's going to be great. I'm certain of it."

"Why are you so certain?" Yuri asked. "Most of my self-portraits are bad."

"Yuri, why are you lying?" Those words struck a chord in Yuri and he started to tremble. "Despite your other self-portraits being weird, they're nowhere near bad." Yuri looked out the lines that he made for the eyes, nose, mouth, and hairline. "What are those lines for?"

"Those lines mark where I'm going to draw my eyes and mouth and the like." Victor nodded. "Any other questions?"

"What is the purpose of the layers?" Victor asked.

"It's one thing stacked on top of another." Yuri made a new layer. "I use them to organize the sections I want to work with. The head is on a different layer from the lines." Victor nodded and yawned. "Are you tired?"

"Very."

"You shouldn't have come if you're tired," Yuri chastised. "You could've gone to bed."

"But I wanted to see you." Victor yawned again. "So here I am."

"Here you are," Yuri said. He looked at the current layer. "Am I missing anything?" He asked himself. Then he made a line to denote where his eyebrows will be. "These are for the eyebrows," Yuri told Victor. He nodded and yawned again. "Do you want coffee?"

"Yuri, I'm fine. Keep drawing."

"You need coffee," Yuri said. He placed his Wacom on the coffee table and got up. "Let's take a break. You need coffee." Yuri stretched and reached his hands towards the ceiling.

"Fine, I'll get coffee." Yuri smiled and walked over to the coats. He put on his coat and Docs and waited for Victor to put on his shoes and coat. He was ready now. Yuri opened the door and waited for Victor to step out. He held out his hand as he locked the door. They ran into Yuri's judgmental neighbor when they were stepping out of the front door. Out of habit, Yuri said "hello" and "have a nice day" to her despite her never responding to his salutations and valedictions. "Who was that?" Victor asked.

"Neighbor," Yuri said. They stopped at a light. "Do you want deli coffee or café coffee?"

"Café coffee," Victor said. "Does your neighbor usually not respond when you speak?"

"I'm used to her silence." Yuri put his free hand in his pocket. "She doesn't speak because she doesn't like Phichit and me," he casually said.

"Why not?" Victor asked.

"Phichit and I…" Yuri started. "There was an encounter that she totally misconstrued. Phichit explained the situation to her, but she didn't believe us at all. Instead, she just started lecturing us about being sinners." Yuri smiled. "After that, she just never spoke to us again. I think she was too repulsed by what she thought was happening that she couldn't even grasp the fact that that wasn't what happened at all."

"Well, what happened?" Victor asked. Yuri started to chuckle.

"Okay, so Phichit was introducing me to this musical." Victor nodded. "He was showing me a character and… I started moaning." Victor busted out in laughter. "And apparently I was moaning really loud because several neighbors heard us – well, heard me." Yuri bit his lip. He looked over at Victor; he was fighting a laugh. "Phichit explained to people that he wasn't sleeping with me – that he was just showing me a character – but no one believed him. I felt so bad."

"Oh my God," Victor said. He finally let himself laugh. "That's great!"

"Is it? Is it really?" Yuri said. They started to walk again.

"It is, really," Victor said. Yuri felt his phone buzz twice. Yuri checked his texts with his free hand.

 _ **Phichit: I'm staying a bit later to work on my art history paper**_  
 _ **Phichit: How's drawing coming along?**_  
 _ **: Victor challenged me to draw a normal self-portrait so I'm doing that**_  
 _ **: But he's tired so I'm taking him to get coffee**_  
 _ **Phichit: I half expected you to say "take him to bed"**_  
 _ **Phichit: I was going to shame you**_

Yuri laughed. Victor looked at him, sleepy-eyed yet dotingly. "Phichit won't be home for a while," Yuri said. "He's working on the art history assignment." Victor nodded.

"Is his professor also Professor Heiner?"

"I… don't think so," Yuri said. "I think he said that his professor is Capezio, but I am not totally sure."

"Have you had that professor before?" Victor asked.

"Once when I was a freshman." Yuri bit his lip. They stopped at another light. "They were nice enough, I guess, but I didn't stay in class long enough to know that for sure."

"Why didn't you stay in class? That seems unlike you," Victor said.

"It's a long story, but also not really." Yuri looked up at the light. "In my freshman year, my anxiety was really bad and my classes would set off my anxiety so I stopped going to class." Yuri bit his lip again.

"All of them?"

"All of them," Yuri said. "I felt really bad for not going to class – my professors were all so nice – but I couldn't focus on anything they were saying without feeling like everyone was looking at me and being unable to breathe."

"Do you feel like that when you go to class now?" Yuri shook his head. "I'm glad," Victor said. "And I'm glad that you told me this." There was a silence. "Have you been too anxious to interact with me?"

"Yes," Yuri said. "I didn't – and still don't – understand how someone so great could find enjoyment with someone like me." Yuri proto-sucked his teeth. "The novelty of mystery wears off after a while. So does the novelty of many of my 'endearing' traits." Victor rolled his eyes, but Yuri didn't catch that. "I'm trying to figure out why you're still here."

"Why are you acting like you don't want me here? Stop trying to ward me off," Victor said. "Let me love and support you." Victor looked at his feet. "Do you want me here?"

"Of course I do," Yuri said.

"Then act like it. Because I want to be here," Victor said. "You mean a lot to me and it hurts to think that you don't regard me the same way."

"I do," Yuri said. Yuri waited until they made it across the street to touch Victor's face. His lithe yet freezing, calloused fingers touched Victor's cheek. "I'm not good at wording things, but trust me when I say that I do."

"Why aren't you wearing gloves?" Victor asked.

"Do not make this about me forgetting my gloves," Yuri said. He withdrew his hand from Victor's cheek. "Let's go get your coffee." They continued walking. "Do you want to drink it at the café?"

"I can walk and drink coffee," Victor said. "I want to continue watching you draw. And maybe you can give me a tour later." Yuri nodded. Then his phone buzzed. "Phichit?" Yuri nodded.

 _ **Phichit: Guess who I ran into today?**_  
 _ **: Who?**_  
 _ **Phichit: Olivia!**_  
 _ **: Ooh. How is she?**_  
 _ **Phichit: I'll call you.**_

"He's going to call," Yuri said. His phone rang and he picked up. "Yeah?"

"So Olivia is back," Phichit said. Olivia was a pre-med student that used to be a frequent rink attendee. In the middle of her sophomore semester, she decided to "find herself" and go to Paris. It was a confusing situation to everyone at the rink. "She's back from Paris."

"I gathered that," Yuri said. "Is she going to come back to Wayne?"

"I don't know," Phichit said. "I haven't had the chance to flesh out a conversation with her. I only saw her briefly." Yuri nodded. "She asked me for Ciao Ciao's number, though. I think she might be planning to continue skating."

"Isn't she 25 now?" Yuri wondered. "Do you think he'll take her back?" Victor was looking on in amazement as he talked to Phichit about this person.

"She seems hopeful that he will," Phichit said. "I'll text you when I'm on my way home. I still have to work on this paper."

"Alright, lapinou," Yuri said. Phichit said "I love you" and hung up. Yuri put his phone away. He was silent.

Victor looked at Yuri, examining his face for a hint of what's going on. He gave up and decided to say, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Yuri said.

"What happened?" Victor asked. Yuri was silent. "Yuri."

"Someone I know came back recently," Yuri said. Victor nodded and motioned for Yuri to continue.

"Do you miss them?"

"I don't know," Yuri muttered. "We're here." Yuri stopped walking and opened the door. Yuri stood behind Victor in line. "I'm not very sure how I feel about them coming back. I'm actually concerned, more or less," he muttered.

"Why are you concerned?"

"I'm concerned that I don't know how I'm going to react when I finally see them," Yuri said. He fell back into silence. He was thinking about the last time he saw Olivia: it was Christmas Eve and Olivia had told Yuri that they were going to Paris to find herself. He hadn't seen or heard from her since then.

"Why are you bothered by this?" Victor asked. "Did you care for them?" Yuri bit his lip, trying to remove a flake of dried skin. He stayed silent. He looked out of the door and focused on a woman and her dog. She kind of looked like Olivia with her long, light brown hair and green eyes. "Do you want to talk about them right now?"

"I need time to process this," Yuri said. "I hadn't seen them in so long. I thought they'd never come back." Yuri sighed. "I'll tell you about them eventually."

"Can I ask if they were a past partner?" Victor asked.

"Not exactly," Yuri said. He nudged Victor's back. "Order."

"Do you want something?" Yuri shook his head. Victor placed his order and stepped to the side. Yuri stood weakly next to him. He couldn't get the idea of Olivia being back out of his head. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Yuri took out his phone. Phichit had texted.

 _ **Phichit: She came back to find me.**_  
 _ **Phichit: [has sent an attachment]**_

It was of Olivia. Her hair was longer and it seemed that her eyes had gotten greener – if that was even possible. She was wearing a black skull cap. She seemed like she was absolutely beaming in that space. Yuri sighed and put his phone away. He leaned on Victor and Victor threw his arm around his back.

"I'm so glad I have you," Yuri said. Victor smiled. "What do you want to do after I finish drawing?"

"I'd like a tour," he said. "And then I'd like to watch you do something else." The barista came out and gave Victor his coffee. "What else do you do?" Victor grabbed Yuri's hand.

"We can watch an anime together," Yuri suggested. "Have you watched Cowboy Bebop?"

"I have no clue what a Cowboy Bebop is," Victor said. He opened the door with his elbow.

Yuri smiled. "Good, because you're going to learn what Cowboy Bebop is tonight." Yuri's fingers were cold and interlaced with Victor's, but they were interlaced with Victor's and that's what made the cold worth it. "I think you'll like it. It's really story-driven." They stopped at a light. "Or we can watch Samurai Champloo."

"What's that?"

"That is also an anime."

"And what was the first one called?" Victor asked.

"Cowboy Bebop," Yuri said.

"Does it have cowboys in it?" Yuri's thoughts came to a pause. He said "kind… of?" but he was still unsure if intergalactic bounty hunters would be considered cowboys. "Let's watch that," Victor said. "But what is a Bebop? Why are they cowboys?"

"I can't tell you or else I'll have to explain the whole show," Yuri said. "It's a really good anime." They started to walk again. "Trust me on this."

"Does your sister watch that?"

"She does," Yuri said. "Right now she's reading Chōyaku Hyakunin Isshu."

"So you _read_ anime?"

"No," Yuri said. "You watch anime. You _read_ manga. Some mangas are made into animes, but some animes don't come from a manga." Victor's face was blank. "Did I lose you? Where did I lose you?"

"Some mangas aren't animes," Victor said, processing the statement. "But some animes don't come from a manga." He was confused. "What does this mean?"

"Sometimes there isn't a manga or a light novel that an anime comes from. Sometimes there's just the anime." Victor nodded.

"Does Cowboy Bebop have a manga?"

"Yes. The manga usually comes before an anime."

"Have you read the manga?" Yuri nodded. Victor took a sip of his coffee. "Do you usually read mangas?"

"I do," Yuri said. "I can show you some of my mangas. The better ones are at home, though." Yuri bit his lip. "I didn't bother to bring them with me; I had to make sure that they were safe."

"You think they wouldn't be safe in Detroit?"

"Can't be too careful," Yuri said. "Plus, when I dormed, my roommates were weird and it– it was just for the best." Yuri proto-sucked his teeth.

"What were your dorm mates like?" Yuri stopped walking. Victor turned around and looked back at him. Victor had a confused look on his face.

"They were…" Yuri's voice trailed off. He hasn't been asked about his dorm mates in what seemed to be ages. "They were…" Yuri walked towards Victor. "They were something else," he said. He held out his hand for Victor to grab; he grabbed it. "I learned things," he briefly said. "Things that I am not proud of knowing about." Yuri looked at Victor's face; he seemed to be genuinely confused. "I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just know that I don't like Cheerios and I will burst into tears at the sight of a tea cozy." Victor made a face. "I'm being serious."

"I'm sure you _are_ , but Cheerios and tea cozies?" Victor questioned. Yuri nodded. "What happened with the Cheerios and tea cozies?"

"I still don't quite understand what I witnessed those days." They started walking again. "I don't talk about my dorming days much." Those days were complex for Yuri. Extremely complex. So much so that he actively avoids talking about it when confronted about it.

They walked back to the apartment in silence.

"Are you feeling less tired now?" Yuri took off his Docs. Victor nodded. "Good," Yuri said. Once Yuri got his coat back off, he sat down and waited for Victor to take his place next to him. Victor remained silent and the silence started to bother Yuri. He stopped drawing again. "You're not okay, are you?"

"I'm fine. What's wrong with you?"

"Several things, but that isn't the point," Yuri said. "Something seems to be bothering you. What is it?"

"Tell me about this person. The one that came back." Yuri looked at his lover's face. He seemed to be uncertain. "What were they like? Why did they leave?"

"They were…" Yuri lost his train of thought. He thought about Khoudia's analysis of Olivia and how she left Khoudia heartbroken. "They leave a particular taste in your mouth," he said, hoping that that answer would satisfy him. "They left because they wanted to find themselves." He looked at his Wacom. "I guess they've found what they were looking for." He brushed his hair out of his face and looked at Victor. "You're not jealous, are you?" Victor made a face. Yuri stroked Victor's face.

"I'm not jealous." Yuri poked Victor's face. "Fine, maybe I'm a _little_ jealous." Yuri smiled and gave Victor a kiss.

"They don't mean as much to me as you do," Yuri said. He picked up his Wacom again. He left off at drawing his eyes. He had made a circle on his forehead and Victor hadn't noticed it. "I don't plan on seeing them anytime soon if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not worried."

"Good," Yuri said. "Are you feeling better now?" Victor nodded. "Good." Yuri finished up the dreaded 'other eye' and started to draw his nose. Between Victor's periods of silence and Yuri's sense of impending doom, he finished the self-portrait after what felt like forever.

"It looks just like you."

"It does," he said. "But it's missing something." Yuri put the tip of his pen to his mouth. He started to think of the only two lyrics from a song. He wrote them in Japanese in the blank space surrounding his head. "That's better, I think."

"What does it say?" So Yuri told him. "What does it mean?" So Yuri told him. "I don't understand."

"It'll come up again," he said. "Do you want to hear the song?"

"It's from a song?" Yuri nodded and hesitated to give Victor his phone. "What's the problem?" Victor asked. His hand was close enough to take Yuri's phone right out of his hand.

"The song is kind of creepy," Yuri said. "Plus, I think that you would require an introduction to industrial music and performance art before you listen to it." Yuri looked at the phrase and placed his phone back on the coffee table. "Second thought, how about we _not_ listen to it?"

"What's so wrong with it that you don't want to listen to it?"

"Nothing's wrong with it," Yuri said. "But it's not something for – I don't know – normal people."

"I'm normal?" Victor incredulously asked. Yuri remained silent. "I don't know where you got that idea from. The song can't be so terrible that it'd scare me off." Yuri looked at Victor. "I listen to Béla Bartók. It can't be that outlandish."

"If you say so," Yuri said. He reached for his phone again and went to his music app. He selected "Hot on the Heels of Love" and let it play. He placed his phone on his lap and looked at his art. He didn't have the feeling that there was something missing, but there was something off about it. It was probably because that it was just something 'normal.' He didn't give himself one eye (or three), make his head a cinnamon roll, or have flowers come out of his facial orifices. It was just his face, as it appears right now.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: After this, I should probably get to work on my paper. Will I though?

No.


	55. Chapter 55

Ryuugazaki: I hope all y'all are having a lovely ol' time :*)

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Five  
 **(Wednesday, 25 November 2015 – 5:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Victor and Yuri were only able to watch six sessions of Cowboy Bebop before Phichit came home. Victor and Phichit exchanged niceties; Victor almost ended up staying to have tea with Phichit, but he insisted that he needed to get to bed before he dropped. In between sessions, Yuri let slip that he was going to Moscow for the Rostelecom Cup. So Victor taught him how to say "hello," "stop," and "help" in Russian. He had hoped that he wouldn't need to use "stop" and "help" while he was there, but Yuri was glad to know how to at least say "hello."

Today is the morning that Yuri would leave and he woke up drenched in a cold sweat. He couldn't shake off the sense of impending doom no matter how much he stretched or how hard he scrubbed at his skin. He tried to draw the dread away, but it didn't work either. So Yuri sat on the sofa with a cup of honeysuckle tea and his open sketchbook.

 _ **: Are you up yet?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Yeah.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I heard that Olivia's back**_  
 _ **: Phichit told you, too?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Yeah.**_

Yuri took a sip of tea and looked around his living room. It was a little less than standard sized. They had a small television that was sitting on top of their Xbox One which was sitting on a second-hand television shelf. They had a soft maple wood coffee table that was in front of their dark blue sofa. To the left of the sofa was a love seat that the previous occupants left; to the right was an armchair that didn't fit with the theme Yuri and Phichit tried to establish in their living room. By the entrance of the kitchen was a small dining table that was made of soft maple wood like it's brother. There were only two seats – two seats for the two partners. On the wall near the dinner table was a large painting that Yuri made. It was of a bouquet of orchids. Yuri wanted to throw it out, but Phichit would allow him to do no such thing. Instead of throwing it out like Yuri requested, he had it framed and made Yuri put it up. Phichit felt it was a nice piece for their quaint, little home.

 _ **Khoudia: I couldn't sleep because I was so worked up over the news**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I don't want to be alone right now**_  
 _ **: Understandable.**_  
 _ **: Do you want me to come get you?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Yes, please**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'll keep the living room light on and the shades drawn**_

Yuri waited until he finished his tea to put his phone on the coffee table and go to the closet by the door. He shrugged on his coat and placed his phone in his pocket. Before Victor had left – in the middle of the tour – Yuri put his gloves in his coat pockets so he wouldn't forget them again. He put on his boots, grabbed his keys from the end table bowl by the door, and he was off to get Khoudia.

Khoudia lived in a house that was off of a major street. It was a roughly fifteen-minute walk away from the apartment. There were several other houses on the block and a Laundromat across the street. There was a school on the block which Khoudia lived and several sorts of small eateries and three hair salons – black, African, and Dominican. Some of Khoudia's neighbors seemed nice and they mostly spoke Spanish. There were only three other African families on the block; they were either Senegalese, Cameroonian, or Ivorian.

Yuri was approaching Khoudia's home; she had left the lights on and kept the shades drawn like she promised. Yuri walked up the front steps and knocked. "It's me," he said. Khoudia looked out of the living room window. Then she went to the peep hole and peered through. "Khoudia, I said that I was coming." She unlocked the door and ushered Yuri inside. Yuri stood in the hallway, next to – what Yuri presumed they were – Khoudia's bags.

"I think we'll need an Uber," Khoudia said. She was partially bundled up in her long, black down coat with faux fur lining the hood. "We can't carry all my bags by ourselves."

"Then why did you pack so much?"

"I didn't, remember? Adeola and Fatou packed for me. And then my mom joined in because she said they were doing a bad job."

"Couldn't you have gone over their packing?" Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Are you leaving a note for your parents?"

"Already wrote it," she said. "And, before you ask, I already said my byes to Hadiya. I even gave her a treat when I went in the kitchen." Yuri nodded. Hadiya was the family cat; Khoudia loves that cat. Khoudia fixed the shades. "Are you paying for the Uber or me?" Yuri shrugged. "If I pay for this Uber, will you pay for the one to the airport?"

"Of course," he said. Khoudia nodded and requested one.

"They'll be here in ten minutes." Yuri nodded. "Do you want a glass of grape juice?" She asked. Yuri shook his head. "I can't believe that Olivia's back."

"I know," Yuri muttered. "It's so hard to believe."

"I thought she'd never come back." Khoudia sat on her suitcase. "I prayed that she'd never come back. She could've stayed in Paris for all I cared."

"Stop lying," Yuri said. Khoudia weakly smiled. She looked vulnerable in this impenetrable light. Her umber brown eyes shined, seeming to be wet with tears that she despised. Her walnut-colored skin glistened from the shea butter that Khoudia religiously applied daily. She swears up and down that it will moisturize your skin into next week, but Yuri felt that it was too heavy for him. Khoudia's thick, African lips slightly quivered. She wants to cry but she won't allow herself to. Yuri moved from his space and kissed Khoudia's forehead. "If you want to cry, allow yourself to. It's okay to feel things."

"I thought I was stronger than this. I thought I was over her, you know?"

"I know, but do you ever truly get over your first love?" Yuri asked. Khoudia sucked her teeth. "You loved her, after all."

"So did you. And you're fine," Khoudia retorted.

"No, I'm not." Yuri proto-sucked his teeth; he swore to himself that he was going to be able to suck his teeth like Adé and Khoudia one day. "If Ciao Ciao takes her back, I don't know what I'm going to do," he admitted. "We were better off not knowing that she was back, I think."

"How did she even get the idea to return to skating?" Khoudia bitterly asked. "The bitch should've stayed gone." Yuri and Khoudia heard a sweet little 'meow' come from behind them. "Even Hadiya thinks she should've stayed gone." Hadiya sauntered to Khoudia and bunted her arm. Then she meowed and bunted Khoudia's arm again. Khoudia scratched Hadiya's little orange head.

"Hello Hadiya," Yuri said. She sniffed Yuri and bunted his arm, too. "Yes, I've missed you, too." She meowed. "Yes, I'll do my best to come over more." Khoudia giggled; her eyes crinkled at the sides. "How many minutes?" Khoudia took out her phone and checked.

"Six." Yuri nodded. "Phichit told me that you were with your boyfriend yesterday." She nudged Yuri's arm and rested her face on his arm. "I was going to come over and ruin everything you had going on, but I _really_ had to make sure I had everything together." She laughed – that dreadfully ugly yet currently welcome sound. "So you're lucky. You were safe. What did you two do yesterday?"

"Well, Victor wanted to see me as soon as he came home. So he said that he can watch me draw – he shoehorned me into allowing him to watch me draw, by the way – and he did. But _then_ he was getting tired so we took a break so he can get coffee. We go out for coffee. Then Phichit calls to tell me that he saw Olivia and that honestly put a damper on everything. So Victor gets his coffee and we come back home –"

"Home," Khoudia said.

"Yes, home. We come back home – oh, now I see why you interrupted me." Khoudia laughed. "We come back and Victor's feeling on edge."

"So you s–"

"No, I did _not_ ," Yuri said. "We _talked_ about it like a normal couple."

"Normal couple!" Khoudia said, trying to muffle her laughing. "I doubt that any relationship you're in would be considered normal. But continue, continue."

"As I was saying, we talked about why he was feeling on edge – it was because I was feeling on edge about Olivia. Then he just watched me draw and something was off about my drawing. So I threw in the lyrics of 'Hot on the Heels of Love' to balance it all out. Then I tried to persuade Victor to _not_ listen to it, but he wouldn't budge. So he listened to it – I don't think he liked it very much. Then I gave him a tour and then we cuddled and watched Cowboy Bebop."

"Cuddling and watching Cowboy Bebop sounds so cute, to be honest," she said. "Did you finish it?"

"No, we only got up to episode six." Yuri yawned. Then Khoudia yawned. "Do you want tea when we get to the apartment?" She nodded.

"Were you drinking tea before you came to get me?" Yuri nodded. "What kind were you drinking?"

"Honeysuckle tea." Khoudia made a face and nodded. She seems to be approving of Yuri's choice in tea today. "I'll have to wake Phichit up for class when we get back. He might freak out once he sees you there."

"Honestly, I might drop on y'all's love seat the moment I step inside so I think I'm going to need a rain check on the tea." Yuri chuckled. Khoudia pulled out her phone and checked Uber. "He's a minute away." She put her phone away and stood up. Khoudia and Yuri started to take the suitcases outside; Khoudia had Yuri wait outside with the suitcases while she got her carry on bag and said another goodbye to Hadiya. The Uber came and Yuri packed Khoudia's bags in the trunk of the car. Yuri and Khoudia situated themselves in the car that smelled of lavender.

The streets were empty this time of morning and, for that, Yuri was glad. He needed another cup of tea and Khoudia could use something that could soothe her frayed nerves. Khoudia likes green tea; Yuri'll fix her a cup of green tea.

They were at the apartment now and Yuri gave Khoudia the keys to unlock the door. She stood in front of the door, her hand on the doorknob. Once Yuri got to the door, she opened it. "Welcome home," she said. Yuri smiled and pulled Khoudia's bags next to his. Yuri took off his boots and coat and went into the kitchen. Khoudia, with leisure, took off her coat and boots and laid on the love seat.

"Do you still want tea?" Yuri asked.

"Would you really go out of your way to make me tea?"

"Well I'm already standing," Yuri said. "And I'm already holding my mug so." Khoudia nodded. "Do you want the tea I'm drinking or do you want green tea?" Khoudia was silent. "I'm going to give you green tea." Yuri received no response. He stood in the kitchen, waiting for the pot of hot water to come to a gentle boil. Khoudia also, occasionally, takes honey in her tea. Yuri peeked back into the living room; Khoudia seemed to be fast asleep now. Yuri could afford to have an extra cup of tea.

#

 **(Wednesday, 25 November 2015 – 7:49am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Wake up, nerds. You have to get to the airport," Yuri heard Phichit say before he was whacked with a pillow. "Wake up, Khoudia!" Phichit hit her on the head with the pillow. Khoudia forced herself up and rubbed her eyes. Yuri was struggling to keep his head up. "You nerds were supposed to be gone nineteen minutes ago. Don't you have to meet Ciao Ciao at eight?" Phichit checked his phone. "It takes you half an hour to get to an airport on a _good_ day. Get up!" Phichit hit Yuri's torso with a pillow again.

"I'm awake!"

"Good," Phichit said. "Khoudia, get up!"

"I need to wash my face," she said. She got up and went into the bathroom. Yuri yawned.

"I can't believe we're going to Russia today," he said. Yuri's phone rang; it's Coach Cialdini. "Hello?"

"Are you on your way?" He asked.

"No, I just woke up," Yuri told him. He looked at the painting on the wall, focusing on the details of the petals.

"What?!" Coach Cialdini screamed. "You just woke up?! I **told** you and Khoudia to be ready by seven o clock!" Yuri nodded.

"I know. And we're ready." There was a silence.

"What," said Coach Cialdini. "What do you mean you two are ready? I don't understand."

"We're getting ready to leave right now. We'll see you soon." Yuri ended the call and looked at the entrance to the hallway. Khoudia was coming down it. "Ciao Ciao might be upset. I told him that we just woke up and he started screaming." Khoudia chuckled. "We should get going. Ciao Ciao has probably been waiting for a while." Khoudia yawned.

"Yeah, you two need to bounce. Right now." Khoudia laughed. "Yes, Khoudia, I know that my usage of 'bounce' is hilarious, but that isn't the point." Phichit continued as if he already knew what Yuri's question would be. "My point is: get out." Yuri nodded and forced himself up. He staggered over to the coats and sleepily put on his boots. Khoudia put on her coat and boots and stood by the door.

"Yuri, unlock your phone and give it to me." Yuri gave Khoudia his unlocked phone and she went to the Uber app. She requested an Uber and held on to his phone. His phone buzzed. "Victor texted." Yuri was holding two of their suitcases. "I'll hold on to your phone."

"I'm taking the bags into the lobby," Yuri said. "Lapin, can you open the door for me?" Phichit nodded and opened the door. Yuri and Phichit lived on the third floor of their seven-story building. The lobby wasn't so much of a lobby, but a combination of a small waiting area that lacks seats and a mailroom. "Thank you, lapinou," Yuri said.

"No problem, poupée," Phichit said. Yuri carried two of the suitcases to the lobby. Khoudia followed Yuri to the lobby with their carry on bags on her shoulders. Yuri placed the suitcases by the double doors and went back up for the other two suitcases. Yuri came back downstairs with the other two suitcases and stood by his mailbox. Khoudia sat on her suitcase.

"How many minutes?"

"Seven," Khoudia said. She gave Yuri his phone back. "Respond to Victor's text."

 _ **Victor: I'm going to miss you so much today. Have fun at the Cup. Text me when you wake up (or touch down). I love you ((sparkling heart emoji))**_  
 _ **: I'll miss you, too. Love you ((heart emoji))**_

That feeling of dread came back and it was multiplied sevenfold. It nested in the pit of his stomach and it crawled up his esophagus, pausing at the entrance of his mouth. It threatened to burst forward from his mouth at any moment – but now? Now it just seemed to be waiting. Yuri wondered what it was that was making him feel so repulsive. He chalked it up to Olivia's return, but he felt that that wasn't the only thing causing it. It couldn't have been the only thing causing it. It just didn't add up in Yuri's mind.

"Are you okay?" Khoudia asked. She had her hand on Yuri's shoulder. "You zoned out."

"I'm just thinking," Yuri muttered. "I feel weird."

"About Olivia or about the Rostelecom Cup?" Yuri shrugged; he couldn't tell. "There's nothing we can do about Olivia, ma raison. She's here and we have to live with it." Khoudia sighed. "And, as for the Rostelecom Cup, all we have to do is skate our best and wow the judges. But I don't think you'll have a problem with that. I believe in you."

"I believe in you, too," Yuri said as he patted Khoudia's shoulder. She had a hat on her head; Yuri hadn't seen her leave her house with a hat on.

 _ **Victor: Question, though.**_  
 _ **: Sure.**_  
 _ **Victor: Why are you leaving on Wednesday instead of Thursday?**_

Yuri looked at his phone. He didn't know what to say to Victor. Then he decided to check Uber. The cab is three minutes away. He showed it to Khoudia; she nodded and returned her attention to Instagram. She was messaging someone. "We should get outside. The Uber is three minutes away." Yuri checked the app again. "Two minutes. Get up." Khoudia got up and put the carry on bags on her shoulders and held the door open for Yuri. Yuri dragged the suitcases out in one trip and they stood on the sidewalk. The Uber stopped directly in front of the building and Khoudia put the carry on bags in the car and went to join Yuri in putting the suitcases in the trunk.

"Which one of us is texting Ciao Ciao to tell him that we're coming?" Khoudia asked as she stepped to get in the car. She slid in and opened Yuri's door for him. Yuri got in and took a deep breath.

"Which one of you is Yuri?" The driver asked. Yuri waved at the driver. "Hello, Yuri," she said. "Detroit Metro Airport?"

"Yes," Yuri said. Khoudia yawned. "I'm still tired, too. I can't wait until we get on board."

"Same," Khoudia said. "Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep."

"You mean you wouldn't call dropping on my love seat 'sleep'?" Yuri asked. He yawned. "Because I couldn't wake you up when I was trying to ask if you want tea."

"And I _told_ you that I would need to have a rain check on the tea because I might fall asleep," Khoudia retorted.

"You were awake when I asked you if you wanted tea!"

"No, I wasn't!" Khoudia loudly said. She took a deep breath. "Look, we are in someone's automobile and I refuse to have this creative discussion with you right now." She huffed.

"Did you just call our argument a 'creative discussion'?"

"It's not an argument; it's a creative discussion."

"What's so creative about this?" Yuri asked. "There is nothing creative about two nerds talking about falling asleep when being asked about tea." Khoudia sucked her teeth. "I'm going to learn how to do that one day."

"Mm-hm," she said. "You keep telling yourself that." Khoudia took out her phone and started scrolling through her Instagram feed. Yuri looked out the window, fighting the urge to check his texts. He knows that it's just going to be the same one – or another one – from Victor. The dread in his stomach wouldn't allow him to check his texts. So much so that he didn't respond to any of Coach Cialdini's.

They made it to the airport in 45 minutes with heavy traffic. Coach Cialdini was waiting at the gate.

"Why is it that _every time_ I need to accompany you to an event, you're late?" Khoudia yawned. "Am I boring you already?"

"No, I'm just tired," she said, fighting another yawn. "How long have you been here, Ciao Ciao? I hope we didn't keep you _too_ long." Khoudia was trying to be genial despite her simmering agitation.

"I told you two to be ready by seven o clock and you didn't leave the house until eight," Coach Cialdini said.

"It's not our fault that there was traffic," said Khoudia.

"In our defense, we were ready since five o clock," Yuri said. "We just took a nap and I forgot to set an alarm." Khoudia yawned again. "So it's kind of my fault. I apologize." Coach Cialdini nodded and started walking. Khoudia and Yuri followed behind him like they were his ducklings. Then Yuri's phone buzzed. He reached into his pocket, dreading what he might find.

 _ **Olivia: Hey baby. I've missed you a lot.**_

Yuri looked at his phone and stopped walking.

"Yuri?" Khoudia said. She stopped walking and returned to his space. "Did something happen? She stroked Yuri's face. He closed his eyes. "Tell me," she cajoled.

"Olivia texted me," he said, his breath hitching.

"What did she say?" Khoudia asked. Yuri gave his phone to Khoudia. She made a face. "Ew." Coach Cialdini looked behind himself to see Yuri and Khoudia looking over a phone. He made a gesture, signaling that they need to continue walking. Yuri shoved Khoudia along and followed behind her. He took out his phone, looking at Olivia's message. Against his better judgment, he decided to text back.

 _ **: Hey. I've missed you, too**_

He bit his tongue at his ingenuousness. He hasn't missed her at all; he hadn't even thought of her until Phichit mentioned her name.

 _ **Olivia: I heard from Phichit that you're going to the RC today**_  
 _ **: I am**_  
 _ **Olivia: Good luck ((heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Olivia: Also, question: How opposed would you be to going out to dinner with me?**_  
 _ **Olivia: Just to catch up, ofc. Nothing behind it.**_

Yuri was tempted to throw his phone into an incinerator and run far, far away. But he couldn't. He was in an airport with his rink mate and coach, walking to the airline desk.

 _ **: That would be nice.**_

He wanted to kick himself in the teeth for saying that. He didn't miss or care much for Olivia – not anymore, at least. He didn't feel like he _had_ to go out to dinner with her, but he said that he would anyway.

"Yuri, stop texting her or I'm throwing your phone away," Khoudia said. She took his phone out of his hands and put it in her pocket. "We don't need her." She continued to walk and Yuri hurried behind her.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Be on the lookout for Chapters 60 to 62!


	56. Chapter 56

Ryuugazaki: I ain't have school today so y'all getting an upload.

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Six  
 **(Wednesday, 25 November 2015 – 8:56pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Coach Cialdini and his ducklings touched down in Moscow. Khoudia got no sleep on the flight which meant that neither Yuri or Coach Cialdini got sleep on the flight. She was stuck between the two and made sure that they got no sleep. Yuri could see why Coach Cialdini would be grouchy after being on a flight with Khoudia. She kept wanting to play Super Smash Bros with Yuri because Yuri owed her a rematch at the café, but Yuri just wanted to ruminate on how he agreed to go to a dinner with Olivia after he told Victor that he wasn't planning on seeing her. He felt bad; really bad. He noted that as _another_ thing he'd have to tell Victor.

"Which one of us is getting the Uber?" Khoudia asked. She gave Yuri his phone back. "I paid to get to Yuri's house; Yuri paid to get us to the airport," she said. "So, Ciao Ciao pays for the Uber!" Coach Cialdini looked down at Khoudia. She patted his back. "Do you have the app?"

"My daughter installed it, but I don't know how to use it," Coach Cialdini said. Khoudia held out her hand for the phone. He gave it to her. "Unlock it. My passcode is 1202."

"Ciao Ciao, you could've just unlocked it yourself. I didn't need to know that," Khoudia said as she unlocked her coach's phone. She stumbled around, trying to navigate Coach Cialdini's Android phone, but she managed to hail an Uber. "Three minutes," she said, putting Coach Cialdini's phone in her coat pocket. "I'll give you your phone back when the cab comes." They all had their bags ready and they waited by the sliding doors for their Uber.

"I don't know how much you know about this, but Olivia is back," Coach Cialdini said.

"We know," Yuri said. Khoudia took out her phone and started to type.

"She wants to continue skating."

"We know," Khoudia said. She sent a message and looked at her phone like she was waiting for something. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose. Then she took out Coach Cialdini's phone and unlocked it. "One minute," she said. She put both phones away and grabbed her bags. Coach Cialdini and his children stood at the entrance of the airport, waiting for the cab. The driver pulled up and Coach Cialdini and Yuri packed the bags into the trunk. Khoudia held the door open for them. She was sandwiched in between Yuri and her coach again.

"Yuri," Khoudia said. "When we get to the hotel, can we play Smash again?"

"We have to let our systems charge," he said. "Yours died in the middle of a match."

"I'm still upset about that."

"Which one is Celestino?" The driver asked. Coach Cialdini waved. "Privyet, Celestino," the driver warmly said. Khoudia gave Coach Cialdini his phone back. The driver pulled off from Domodedovo Airport. The ride should take about 45 minutes. Yuri took out his phone. He had new texts from Olivia and a few from Victor.

 _ **Victor: Why are you leaving on Wednesday?**_  
 _ **Victor: Reply**_  
 _ **Victor: I miss you ((crying emoji))**_

Yuri made a mental note to come back to Victor's texts. Right now, he wanted to see what Olivia was saying.

 _ **Olivia: Great! We really do need to catch up.**_  
 _ **Olivia: How's Khoudia? I texted her last night but she didn't respond.**_  
 _ **: She doesn't want to talk to you.**_

Yuri bit his lip and looked at Victor's texts. What could he say to him? "The truth," his mind echoed back. "Tell him the truth." He took a deep breath and started to write out what he wants to say. After a few minutes, he deleted all of it and said, "I just like to leave early. And I miss you too." In that moment, he hated himself.

Then he went back to Olivia's messages.

 _ **Olivia: Huh? She doesn't want to talk to me? Why?**_  
 _ **: You hurt her and she doesn't want to talk to you.**_  
 _ **Olivia: It's not my fault she's hurt over some small thing.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Tell her to talk to me.**_  
 _ **: She** **don't** **want to talk to you**_

Yuri put his phone away. He's trying to make it clear to Olivia that Khoudia wants nothing to do with her. He even punctuated his last text with the clapping emoji to stress it. He looked over at Coach Cialdini; he looked like he was about to drop. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes. Khoudia was on Twitter.

 _ **Victor: Where are you?**_  
 _ **: I touched down in Moscow finally**_  
 _ **Victor: Don't go in any bars**_

Yuri took Victor's demand to heart; he wouldn't go nightclubbing while in Moscow. He probably wouldn't understand anything going on in the club.

 _ **: May I ask why?**_  
 _ **Victor: They're not that safe**_  
 _ **Victor: Also, you don't know Russian**_  
 _ **: Understood, my love**_  
 _ **Victor: ((crying emojis))**_

Yuri smiled. He felt this heat envelop his entire body while the dread in his stomach threatened to come forth. It was a confusing feeling to feel joy and repulsion all at once. He wanted to bathe in this glow and exorcise this dreadful feeling from him, but he couldn't separate them; so, instead, he took both of them as they are.

"Are you okay?" Khoudia asked. She put her head on his shoulder.

"No," Yuri muttered. Khoudia yawned. "I feel disgusting," he admitted.

"You always look perfect," Khoudia said. Yuri hesitated to say anything. Did Khoudia interpret his "I feel disgusting" as him feeling disgusting regarding his body? It wasn't necessarily an incorrect interpretation, but it wasn't the interpretation needed for this moment. Yuri looked down at Khoudia; she had her eyes closed. Is he really going to be the only other awake person in the cab?

It turns out that he was. He was the only person awake when they arrived at the hotel. He couldn't will himself to sleep. He primarily spent his time looking at the blurry lights on the highway. But now he was getting out of the car to help Coach Cialdini with the bags.

"Khoudia," Coach Cialdini said, "go check in for us." Khoudia nodded and went inside of the hotel to check the trio in. Yuri was left to carry his and Khoudia's bags inside. He managed to do it in one trip, too. He dropped the suitcases by Khoudia's leg and stood next to her. Khoudia looked so unamused by Yuri's behavior.

"Take your suitcases," he said. Khoudia rolled her eyes.

"When I'm done," she said. She patted his shoulder and finished up at the check-in desk. "Alright, let's go." She grabbed her suitcases and pulled them behind her. Yuri followed behind her and eventually surpassed her. "Hey!" She said, walking faster. Yuri was first to the elevator. "Did Ciao Ciao already go upstairs?"

"No, I'm right here," he said from behind them. "Yuri, Khoudia," he said. "No sleepovers."

"We know," Khoudia said.

"I'm being serious, you two. No sleepovers!"

"Are your skaters a handful, too, Celestino?" A voice came from behind them. There was a brunette man with black-framed glasses standing behind them.

"Ah, Christian, how are your skaters?"

"Sophia, Michael, and Elizabeth are fine."

"You two, go upstairs," Coach Cialdini said to Yuri and Khoudia. Yuri pressed the up button harder, praying that the elevator comes faster.

 _ **Khoudia: Why is Ciao Ciao trying to get rid of us?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: He did the same thing when we were in Wisconsin together.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: He ran into a coach and he wanted to get rid of me.**_  
 _ **: Idk. I guess he just doesn't want us to cramp his style.**_  
 _ **: Or something idk** **idk**_  
 _ **Khoudia: What style? He's Ciao Ciao.**_

The elevator came; Yuri and Khoudia boarded it. There was another person that boarded with them, too. He was taller than Khoudia and had black hair. His eyes were cold and shined in the light.

"For someone that's supposed to be tired, he's mighty talkative," Khoudia said to Yuri once the door closed. "Who does he think he is? Trying to rid himself of us." She stole a glance from the stranger on the elevator.

"He thinks he's Ciao Ciao, of course," Yuri said. "We can't stop him. If he wants to talk to other coaches and shoo us away because we are a nuisance unto him then all we can do is comply." Yuri looked at the stranger between them. He seemed like he wanted to get off of the elevator fast. Yuri couldn't blame him.

"I _know_ we can't stop him, but it upsets me."

"When does Ciao Ciao even get the chance to speak to other coaches?"

"Every day on Facebook," she said. Yuri shrugged.

"All I'm saying is that he doesn't have to get rid of us. We know how to behave in public." Yuri looked at Khoudia in disbelief. The elevator stopped on the sixth floor and Yuri and Khoudia got off before the stranger. "What room are you in?"

"6…Thing that looks like a B."

"6 Thing that looks like an E," she said. Yuri found 6В while Khoudia went to find 6E. They were across the hall. "The ISU wants this sleepover to happen. I'll be right over," she said. Yuri opened his door; it didn't have anyone else in it like last time. At first glance, it just had a bed, a small television, and a desk. Yuri would have to look around once he gets himself situated. Yuri took off his shoes, set his suitcases in a corner, and sat at the foot of his bed. He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. He's here, at the Rostelecom Cup.

He forced himself up and went to his suitcase. He took out his forest green pajama pants and pastel green tank top. He quickly changed into his pajamas and sat on his bed. He went into his coat pocket and checked his messages.

 _ **: I'm at the hotel now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Aah! What hotel?**_  
 _ **: Gostinitsa Arena.**_  
 _ **Victor: Chris is in that hotel, I think.**_

Yuri read Victor's message and went to Olivia's.

 _ **Olivia: Let's just get off the topic of Khoudia.**_  
 _ **Olivia: I sense that I'm not going to get anything out of this from you.**_  
 _ **: Yeah, you're right. You're not.**_  
 _ **Olivia: So, what's new with you since I've been gone?**_  
 _ **: Your concern is in vain**_

Yuri threw his phone behind him and looked at his door. He wiped his face with his forearms and put his head in his hands. His phone buzzed. He grabbed it again. He's a mess for coming back to this when he kept telling himself that he wasn't going to.

 _ **Olivia: Are you hurting too?**_  
 _ **: I'm not hurting.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Right. Whatever you say.**_  
 _ **Olivia: So how have you been since I last spoke to you?**_

Yuri rolled his eyes. He hadn't missed Olivia acting like this at all. He went back to Victor's texts.

 _ **Victor: Wyd rn?**_  
 _ **: Just sitting in this hotel.**_  
 _ **: I'm kind of bored.**_  
 _ **Victor: I'll call you.**_

Yuri got a FaceTime notification and he accepted it. "Солнышко," Victor said with his heart mouth and sparkling eyes. Yuri smiled weakly. "You look upset. What happened?"

"That person contacted me today," he muttered and plopped on his bed. He looked at Victor nod. "I wish I never responded to their texts. She hasn't even been back three days and I'm tired of her already."

"Then stop responding to her," Victor said. There was a silence. "What's her name?"

"Olivia." Victor nodded. "I can't exactly stop responding to her, though. I told her that I'd go to dinner with her." Yuri looked at his phone. Victor looked incensed. "I know, I know. I told you that I wasn't going to see them, but they asked and it caught me off guard."

"When are you going?"

"I don't know. They just asked if I wanted to go. Maybe I could get out of it somehow." Yuri yawned. Victor made a face. "I really hope I can get out of this."

"I hope so, too," Victor said. He looked to be sitting by a window. "Have you run into Chris yet?" Yuri shook his head. "I'm excited for you to meet him, but I'm also anxious. Chris is a huge flirt."

"Doesn't Chris have a partner?"

"Doesn't stop him. You'd think it would, though," Victor said. He smiled. Yuri brushed his hair out of his face. "It's late there, isn't it?" Yuri nodded. "I can't wait for you to come home."

"I haven't even been gone for that long yet."

"I know, but still," he said. There was a knock at the door. Yuri looked at Victor look at Yuri. "Aren't you going to get that?"

"I don't have to," Yuri said. The person kept knocking. Yuri looked at his door. "Yeah, I don't have to do that."

"Yuri, open your fucking door!" Khoudia yelled. Yuri looked at his phone and looked at the door.

"Yeah, Yuri. Open your fucking door." Victor was laughing now. Yuri sucked his teeth. He left his phone on the bed and opened the door.

"What?" He said. Khoudia had her phone, 3DS, and chargers in her hands.

"Wow, rude," she said. She was in a yellow nightgown. "I'm here for that Smash rematch, nerd." She made her way in Yuri's room and looked for an outlet. "Get your system ready because we're playing."

"I _can't_. I'm on the phone with Victor." Khoudia stood by the television and she just looked at Yuri.

"Hello," Victor said. Khoudia picked up Yuri's phone and waved at Victor. She put Yuri's phone down gently and continued looking for an outlet. "Well, we're still playing Smash so I hope your 3DS is charged."

"You know it's not," Yuri said. He moved the television stand so Khoudia can get a better look.

"If I find an outlet, I hope you're not planning on watching anything tonight."

"It's not like I'll be able to understand anything." Yuri picked up his phone. "I'm sorry. Khoudia wants to play Smash Bros with me and she's being a git about it."

"You actually went to an event with a friend?" Victor questioned. Khoudia made a face that involved a knit brow. Yuri flicked her. Victor was smiling; he looked so lovely right now and that made Yuri smile. Khoudia looked on at the spectacle in amazement and confusion. "What is Smash Bros?"

"It's a video game."

"What do you do in it?"

"You fight characters." Victor nodded. Yuri propped his phone against his pillow in landscape mode. "Khoudia and I were playing it on the plane."

"Is it fun?" Victor asked.

"Tons," Khoudia said. Victor nodded. Yuri turned on his 3DS and looked at Khoudia. She was still trying to plug in her charger.

"I think I'll let you two get to your game. I'll text you, sunshine." Victor smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Yuri said. The call was ended and Yuri sighed deeply. "Khoudia, I hate you sometimes." She giggled. "I could've had a nice conversation about something not-geeky with Victor, but you had to come in and talk about playing Smash." She smiled and finally found the outlet.

"You're acting like I did something wrong," she said. She stood up straight and connected the charger to her 3DS. "Look, Victor asked about Smash on his own accord. Plus, don't you need to talk to him about the things you do?" She sat on the floor and made sure that her charger was at an appropriate length. "He was going to find out that you're a weeaboo nerd eventually."

"Am I really a weeaboo if I'm actually Japanese?" Yuri asked. He looked for another outlet. He found it and plugged up his 3DS with relative ease. Khoudia shrugged. "Are you ready?" He asked, turning on his 3DS. They were both across the room from each other, prepping themselves for the Smash matches that were to come. "I'm going to win."

"Are you so sure?" Khoudia asked, trying to make herself comfortable on the floor. She was smiling now. "How do you know you're going to beat me this time around?"

"I can feel the thrill in my veins," Yuri said. Khoudia rolled her eyes at his thinly veiled and poorly phrased Romeo & Juliet reference. And they played.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: ((heart emojis))


	57. Chapter 57

Ryuugazaki: Three more!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Seven  
 **(Thursday, 26 November 2015 – 4:18am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri had Khoudia go to her room before she fell asleep. They spent more time talking than playing Smash and watching anime like they were supposed to. When Khoudia left, Yuri returned to his phone and continued to text Olivia and Victor. Victor was telling him about this book he's reading. Yuri mentally remarked that Victor goes through his books like water and complimented him for it.

Yuri couldn't sleep very well; he'd wake up every few hours. By now, he had given up on sleeping. His phone showed that it's 4:20am. He wanted to talk to Phichit or Victor, but he didn't want to disturb them. He could, however, disturb Mari. According to his world clock, it's 10:20am in Japan. So he called his sister, hoping that she would be willing to talk to him.

"Hello?"

"Mari?"

"Hey there, little brother," she said. "What's going on?"

"I'm in Moscow and I can't sleep." Mari made an inquisitive sound. "I'm in Moscow for my event."

"Oh," she said. "So why can't you sleep? Is something on your mind?" She questioned. Yuri told her that there was, but wouldn't elaborate. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's about my…" Yuri paused. He never thought that he would be going to his sister for relationship advice. "It's about my boyfriend," he forced himself to say. "I never told him that I'm a figure skater and I can't bring myself to tell him now."

"And this is causing you to lose sleep?"

"That's not the only thing," Yuri said, "but yes."

"I can relate. There's something I've avoided telling someone that's important to me." Yuri remained silent, waiting for his sister to continue. "But you and I both know that the best thing to do in a situation like this is to be honest. They'll be hurt that you delayed in telling them, but you have to tell them no matter how much you don't want to. Sooner rather than later."

"Who is this person that you're trying to not hurt?" Yuri asked.

"Someone dear to me," she said. "So, moral of the story: You have to tell them no matter how much it pains you to do so." There was a clicking sound on the other end. "So, what's this other thing about? You said there was something else bothering you."

"Someone I never wanted to see again came back." Mari made an inquisitive sound.

"I didn't know you were capable of feeling emotions such as disdain." Mari moved something. "Tell me about them. What is it about this person that is grating your soul? What did they do?"

"Their presence unsettles me," Yuri started off. "They should have stayed where they were." Yuri rolled on his stomach and burrowed further into bed. "I was better off not knowing where or how they were."

"But what did they do to you?" Mari asked. "They must have done something to make you despise them so much."

"They breathed, Mari," he said. "They breathed and I hate them for it." Mari sighed. "What's worse is that I don't think I hate them all that much. Don't get me wrong. I _do_ hate them," Yuri said, "but I also… don't. They occupy space in my head and heart – space that should go towards my boyfriend – and I hate them for occupying it. But I also don't. Am I making sense?"

"I think I get it," Mari said. "You need to give yourself time to get over them."

"It's been two years."

"Getting over someone isn't a hard and fast process. It's slow and and painful and sometimes wounds have to be reopened before they can heal properly." Yuri looked at his phone. Mari is being rather perceptive today. "You're only human."

"Mari, you're being very astute." She sheepishly laughed. "It's welcome. I welcome this," Yuri said. He looked up at the ceiling; it was the color of cotton. His bed sheets were the color of porcelain and the comforter was the color of peanut shells. Yuri briefly thought about going over to Khoudia's room to look at things and maybe touch a couple of things, too. He thought about waking her up so she can keep him company. But then he also thought to do the same to his coach. He didn't want to be alone right now; it seems that Mari was the best option Yuri had.

"I'm glad someone can appreciate it." She sheepishly laughed again. "So, what are you doing for your birthday?" Yuri looked at his phone. "Did you forget that your birthday is coming up soon?"

"I've been so busy. I guess I had forgotten it again." This has been a yearly thing. Yuri's birth month comes up and he promptly proceeds to either willingly fling himself into something or unwillingly gets so caught up in something that he forgets it.

"You can't keep forgetting your birthday, Yuri," Mari said. "You have enough time to forget it later." Yuri yawned. "Do you have anything planned?"

"No," Yuri said. "I guess I could… I don't know. I'll probably end up doing what I did last year."

"And what did you do last year?"

"Nothing really," Yuri said.

"You need to do more things for your birthday. This is the time of your life." Yuri shrugged. "It's the time of your life and what do you do? Skate, paint, and watch anime." Yuri buried his face in his pillow and kept his phone near.

"I guess I can go out with my rink mates for dinner."

"That sounds nice," Mari said. "Make sure you do that soon. I want to hear all about it." Yuri could feel Mari smiling through the phone. She doesn't smile unless something happens to catch her eye. So what caught her eye today? Yuri felt his headspace get foggy. Maybe he'd be able to get some more sleep finally. "Are you in bed right now?"

"I am."

"I'll let you get some sleep," Mari said. "I love you, little brother."

"I love you, too," Yuri said. He ended the call and rolled on his back. He had a text from Olivia.

 _ **Olivia: Wyd?**_  
 _ **: Laying in bed.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Doing what?**_  
 _ **: Trying to sleep.**_

He sat up and went into his bag for his laptop. He had put it away when Khoudia left. They only watched some of The Rose of Versailles; they got through two episodes before they just decided to stop watching the anime. It was a shame, too; Yuri felt that Khoudia should've stuck to it more than what she did.

 _ **Olivia: What time is it there?**_  
 _ **: 4:30**_  
 _ **Olivia: You might as well give up on sleeping. You're not going to bed now.**_

Yuri rolled his eyes and logged in. What was he even going to do on his computer? He didn't know what he was going to do. Right now he was staring at a picture of the northern lights; it was of Victor before, but he changed it before he came over. He kept looking and looking and looking. Then he got an iMessage notification from Olivia.

 _ **Olivia: Do you have any plans for today?**_  
 _ **: I don't know. I'll see if Khoudia wants to do anything.**_  
 _ **Olivia: So she bothers with you but not me? Lol**_  
 _ **: She bothers with me because I didn't string her along and break her heart.**_  
 _ **: She's inconsistently fragile and we both know this.**_  
 _ **: So why are you surprised that she doesn't want to talk to you?**_

Yuri rubbed his eyes to the point that they stung and he had to stop. He yawned and looked at his wallpaper again. He could change it to something that is more of his speed. He could change it back to Victor; he could change it to Vicchan; he could change it to one of his paintings. He was reticent to do change it to one of his paintings because that would require him to: 1) take himself seriously as an artist and 2) require his paintings to actually be good enough to make into a wallpaper. And Yuri did neither of those things. So he laughed at that thought. But then he thought of changing it back to Victor. It was easy to explain away – sort of – but changing it to Vicchan was easier. So he decided to change it back to Vicchan. It made him smile to see his beloved companion.

But then Yuri started to hear a knocking sound come from somewhere and he couldn't ascertain from where. So he decided to play Bela Lugosi's Dead; that should be enough to drown out the knocking, but it wasn't. Instead, it got louder and louder and took on a new form as the song went on. Soon the sound became cacophonous banging and screaming and the sound felt like it was closing in on Yuri, making itself known yet stalling, waiting to devour him whole. He took deep breaths but the sound compressed his chest. He clawed at his neck to try and ground himself, but the sound kept at itself. He was face down on his keyboard – the sensation, albeit unpleasant, was welcome. His breathing was shallow, his neck was sore, and all he could do was just take it.

#

 **(Thursday, 26 November 2015 – 7:28am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri fell asleep eventually somehow. He didn't know how he'd done it despite the sound, but he did.

But he was awake again and the cold sun was poking through the clouds. He woke up with his face on his keyboard and Messages open. He didn't remember typing anything; hell, he didn't even remember opening it. He closed his laptop and returned it to his bag. With every step he took, he heard voices giving him commands. At best, they were a mild annoyance. Yuri got back into bed and looked at his feet from beneath the covers. He looked at his toes move as they wiggled and as the voices continued to give their commands and harshly reprimand him for not doing as they said.

 ** _Olivia: Okay, moving on from that…_**  
 ** _Olivia: Wyd rn?_**  
 ** _: I woke up._**  
 ** _Olivia: I can't believe you actually went back to sleep._**  
 ** _: Yeah, I'm shocked that I did too_**  
 ** _Olivia: Is Khoudia awake?_**  
 ** _: I don't know. I'll go check._**

Yuri got out of bed – which, in some sense, did appease the voices – and walked across the hall to Khoudia's room. He knocked on the door and turned the lock. She left it open. "Khoudia?" Yuri peered inside. Khoudia wasn't in bed. "Khoudia?" He stepped inside her room and closed the door behind him. "Khoudia?" Yuri passed by the bathroom and pressed his ear to the door. Beyond the commands, he heard running water; she must be showering. Yuri left Khoudia's room as quietly as he came in and went back to his room. He got back in bed and grabbed his phone to text Khoudia.

 _ **: I came in to see if you were awake and you were in the shower.**_

He put his phone down and looked up at the ceiling despite the voices telling him not to.

 _ **Olivia: So? Is she awake?**_  
 _ **: She's in the shower. So I left. It would've been weird if I stayed.**_

Yuri kept his eyes fixated on his door. One voice seemed content with that. Yuri wishes that the voices could be in agreement in regards to what they want him to do. He rooted down in his bed, keeping his eyes on the door. He didn't know who or what he was waiting for, but he kept looking.

And looking.

And looking.

He kept looking until Khoudia came through the door, clean, moisturized, and smiling. "I got your text!" She said as she casually walked over to Yuri's bed. She sat at the foot of it, cross-legged. "I didn't expect you to be awake."

"The same can be said for you," his voice was barely audible.

"Huh?" She leaned in closer. "I can't hear you, ma raison. You'll have to speak louder."

He tried again, his voice a little bit louder than before. "The same can be said for you."

"I still can't hear you, love." She crawled so that her body was next to his. She lowered her head so that her ear was near his mouth. "Try now."

"The same," he paused – his voice as low as the first time, "can be said for you." She nodded. "Do you have your phone?" Khoudia sat up and pulled it out. Yuri reached for his and went to his messages.

 _ **: I'm not in much of a speaking mood right now.**_

"That's fine. But we do need to eat breakfast," she said. "Where should we go? What should we get?" Yuri shrugged. "Get from under the covers. I can't see you shrug like that." Yuri forced himself out from the security of his comforts and sheets and sat up. He drew his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. "What happened to your arms? Why are your knuckles white?" Yuri looked down at his arms; there were long, red scratches that bordered on scars on them. He looked at his knuckles; they were a ghostly white color. Yuri shrugged. "That's not an answer." Yuri unlocked his phone to text Khoudia his response.

 ** _: Yes it is._**

"What's going on with you? This isn't normal." She paused. "Not like either of us _are_ normal but that isn't my point. Something's off."

 _ **: Are you ready to hear it?**_

"Just tell me."

 _ **: Will you stay?**_  
 _ **: I can't bear to be alone right now.**_

"What could be so bad that I would leave?" She asked.

 _ **: Okay so I'm hallucinating right now.**_  
 _ **: The voices are rather loud and very demanding.**_  
 _ **: And I don't know what to do until it stops.**_

"When will it stop?" Yuri shrugged. "I need to call Phichit. He knows what to do, right?" Yuri nodded. So Khoudia called Phichit; he picked up. Yuri wanted to chastise Phichit for being awake so late, for picking up so soon, but he was in no shape to do so. "Hey, baby, your partner…" She stopped talking. "He's hallucinating right now. He said that the voices are being demanding." She stopped talking again. "Right. Of course. Why would I leave? Anyway, I don't know what to d—" Yuri looked at his fingers. "I can't put him on. He's just whispering. It's really hard to hear him." She fell silent. "Okay so I do that and—" Yuri made his hands into fists. He clenched his hands so tight the color drained from them. "I actually have to stay with him?" She looked over at Yuri. "I will. Of course. Thank you, baby," she said. "Thank you so much. I'll call you if anything." She ended the call.

 _ **: So?**_

"Where should I sleep?" She asked. She unfurled his fists and massaged the indentations on his palms. "I'll stay with you until the voices stop." Yuri reached for his phone.

 _ **: You don't need to.**_

"But I want to. I'd feel bad if I didn't." Yuri looked down at his phone. "If the voices don't stop, how will you skate? _Can_ you skate in a state like this?"

 _ **: I can but it won't be my best.**_  
 _ **: Speaking of skating, we have to tell Ciao Ciao as soon as possible.**_

"Is he even awake?" Khoudia questioned. Yuri shrugged. She fell silent. "Do you still want to go out and get breakfast?" Yuri shrugged. "That's not an answer. Try again." Yuri looked at Khoudia. "Love, go wash your arms before your cuts get infected."

 _ **: They're not cuts. They're scratches.**_

"Cuts, scratches – that isn't the point. Go wash your arms. They might get infected." She yawned. "You don't have a first aid kit with you, do you?" Yuri looked puzzled. "So I can wrap your forearms."

 _ **: I'll be fine.**_

"That isn't the point. Go wash your arms." She slapped Yuri's back. He got up slowly, agonizingly, and went into the bathroom. He looked around it and stared at the small, porcelain sink. The voices screamed at him to not wash the scratches on his arms, but he did as Khoudia commanded. At first. He stopped short when it came to actually do the washing. "Do you need help?" Khoudia asked. She came in and stood at the threshold. Yuri looked at his wet hands and nodded. He didn't know how he was going to be able to skate _tomorrow_ when he was struggling to do basic things _now_.

Khoudia gracefully walked over to sink and started to wash his scratches. Her hands were soft and warm. And, in that moment, Yuri was grateful to have a friend like Khoudia around in a moment where he felt so hopelessly infantile.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Are y'all excited? Because I'm excited.


	58. Chapter 58

Ryuugazaki: Pizzanna, it's not ending. It's just that the big thing is happening in two (2) to three (3) chapters!

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Eight  
 **(Thursday, 26 November 2015 – 10:30am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri was convinced that Khoudia is a saint in human form. After she washed his arms, she guided him in taking a shower. She explained the steps of it gently, lovingly and kindly encouraged him when the voices were acting up. She was an excellent stand-in for Phichit and she was an excellent caretaker in her own right.

Now Khoudia is at the rink, getting in her practice. Yuri was sitting in Coach Cialdini's spot, as stone still as silent as can be. Coach Cialdini was standing rink side, observing Khoudia as she skated. "Khoudia, stop skating." She stopped on a dime. "Why are you skating like there's something on your mind?" She skated over to where Coach Cialdini was. "I know you're concerned about Yuri, but you have to let that go for now. Focus on your skating." She nodded. "Yuri is fine. Aren't you fine, Yuri?" Yuri took out his phone and texted Coach Cialdini. Coach Cialdini looked at his phone and looked at Yuri. He was deadpan when he saw what Yuri said.

 _ **: One of the voices wants me to slit my throat with a skate.**_

"Are you okay, Yuri?" Khoudia asked. She toddled off of the ice and went over to Yuri. She knelt down in front of him. Yuri gave Khoudia her phone and texted her.

 _ **: Aside from the voices being very aggressive and homicidal, yes.**_

"You see why I'm concerned, Ciao Ciao?" Khoudia lamented. "Who knows what could happen when I'm on the ice?!" She grabbed Yuri's hands. "He needs me." Another skater looked over at her and Yuri took note of it. Her phone buzzed.

 _ **: Khoudia, you're being overdramatic. I'll be fine.**_

"Are you sure? Are you certain?" She lovingly stroked his face. He allowed his thoughts to turn towards Victor. Victor would stroke his face, letting his fingers trace his jawline. This was one of the ways he would still his soul in the dead of night. Yuri nodded. "Okay, I'll get back on the ice now. Just making sure you're alright." Yuri smiled sweetly. Khoudia smiled. "Alright. I'm going to trust you." She leaned over and kissed Yuri's forehead. Khoudia stepped back on the ice and stood in front of Coach Cialdini. "He said he'll be alright. I'm going to place him in your care."

Khoudia started to skate again. Yuri's phone buzzed. It was Phichit.

 _ **Phichit: Ma poupée, I need to know how you're doing.**_  
 _ **: Terribly.**_  
 _ **: I told Khoudia that I was fine so she wouldn't have to worry too much.**_  
 _ **Phichit: You NEED to be open and honest with her about this.**_

Yuri rolled his eyes and a voice reprimanded him for that. The voices seemed to do a lot more reprimanding than commanding lately; probably because Khoudia was in direct opposition to what the voices said and Yuri went along with what she said rather than what the voices said.

 _ **Phichit: Be honest with her about this. For my sake.**_  
 _ **Phichit: You're so far from home and I can't take care of you. She's the best we've both got.**_  
 _ **: She's actually doing a very good job. I'm proud of her for assuming responsibility so gracefully.**_  
 _ **: She saw the scars on my arms and she washed them. She talked me through taking a shower. She helped me eat breakfast. She's so good.**_  
 _ **Phichit: When you come back, we're taking her out to eat. She deserves a nice dinner.**_

Yuri nodded in agreement. Khoudia deserves something nice for dealing with him so graciously. He looked up from his phone. "Start with your short routine," Coach Cialdini said. Khoudia started her routine again. She tried to skate like there was nothing on her mind, but it wasn't going well. So Yuri got up and stood next to Coach Cialdini. He put his thumbs up for Khoudia to see. That seemed to set her at ease.

#

 **(Thursday, 26 November 2015 – 7:42pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri got in his practice despite the loudness of his voices. There was still one that was insistent that he slit his throat with a skate, but that one has since calmed down. Yuri didn't know by which means they have successfully quelled that beast, but he was glad that that one has calmed down.

Yuri and Khoudia were out, trying to find something to eat. They settled for the restaurant down the block from the café they went to for breakfast. Khoudia wanted a Caesar salad. Yuri couldn't decide on what he wanted so Khoudia made the decision for him: A Greek salad. Yuri was willing to have their salmon steak with asparagus, but Khoudia thought that, after their breakfast, they should explore more foods. She thought that salmon on a bagel with a side of capers was too decadent for them so they're having a salad and lobio. Neither of them knew exactly what lobio was or what they could expect, but Khoudia made the decision to try it.

"I'm anxious about this meal," Khoudia said.

 _ **: Me too.**_  
 _ **: I hope you don't want to leave after you see what we're getting.**_

"Look, all I'm saying is that I did not expect our breakfast to look as affluent as it did." Khoudia cracked her knuckles. "I wasn't used to seeing salmon and bagels looking that good and I sure as hell wasn't used to seeing them look good together." Yuri shrugged. "Don't judge me, okay."

 _ **: I'm not judging.**_

"Yes you are," she said, playfully hitting his arm. She went to Safari and went to Google.

 _ **: What are you doing?**_

"I'm googling 'lobio.'" She bit her lip and went to the Wikipedia page. "Okay so it's a bean dish from Georgia. Ours is going to be hot, I think."

 _ **: You can have it cold?**_

"According to the Wiki, you can," she said. "Baby," she said, "give me your phone."

 _ **: Why?**_

"You've been texting Olivia, haven't you?" Yuri nodded. "I'd like to see what you've said to her." Yuri looked down at his phone. "You wouldn't mind if I looked, would you?" Yuri gave Khoudia his phone. She wiped her eyes. "You trust me."

"Why wouldn't I?" he whispered. Khoudia nodded. She seemed to be focusing on Yuri's lips. "Can Khoudia even read lips?" Yuri wondered. Khoudia went to the top of the chat. The waitress came out with their waters. Khoudia thanked her and went back to the chat. She took a sip of water as she calmly read.

"So you're going out to dinner with her?" She said after she put down her water. Yuri nodded. "Do you actually want to do this?" Yuri shook his head. "Then don't go." Yuri nodded. She kept reading. "She keeps asking about me," Khoudia said. "I'm glad that you keep telling her that I want nothing to do with her. Because I don't." Khoudia gave Yuri his phone back. "Thank you." Yuri nodded.

 _ **: I don't know why I thought going to dinner with her would be a good idea.**_

"Well, the good news is that you don't have to go and that no one is making you go." Khoudia switched to her camera. "Smile, baby," she said. Yuri smiled and threw up a peace sign. "You look so cute. This is going on Instagram." Yuri felt a wave of dread wash over him.

 _ **: Does Victor or Chris follow you on Instagram?**_

"I don't think so. Let me check." Khoudia went to Instagram and checked her followers. "No, they don't. Why?" Khoudia selected the photo. "You haven't told Victor, have you?" Yuri shook his head. "Yuri, I love you, but you do some dumb shit sometimes." She posted the photo and captioned it "ma raison d'être." "Is it really so hard to just tell him that you're a figure skater and that you'll see him when you go to the Grand Prix?" Khoudia took a sip of water. "Next time I get your phone, I'm telling him. And you won't like how I phrase it."

 _ **: Khoudia, that isn't necessary.**_

"But apparently it _is_ necessary since you don't know how to say it." She took a sip of water. "Ma raison, you're making this more difficult than it needs to be."

 _ **: I already know what I want to say to him.**_

"Then why haven't you said it?"

 _ **: I'm waiting for the best time.**_

"You have to make it the best time, ma raison," Khoudia said. She took another sip of water and knit her brow. "Keep your phone away from me. Because I can assure you that I'm going to tell him if I get my hands on your phone." Yuri was trembling right now. He reached over towards the window for a straw so he can drink his water. He struggled with trying to get the wrapper off of the straw. "Do you need help?"

"I'm fine," he whispered. He was finally able to tear the paper off of the straw. He placed the straw in his glass of water and sipped. Yuri was glad to be drinking something. The waitress came out with their lobio. Yuri and Khoudia took pictures of the dish.

"Do you want to try the lobio first?" Yuri nodded. They were supplied with flatbread for the lobio. "So, how do we do this?" Yuri shrugged and ripped off a piece of flatbread. He dipped it in the lobio and put the flatbread in his mouth. "Well, that's one way." Khoudia grabbed a piece of flatbread and her spoon and scooped some lobio onto her bread. She folded it and ate. She looked like she was processing something as she chewed.

 _ **: Do you like it?  
** **Khoudia: I'm thinking about it.**_

Khoudia took another bite and proceeded to process the flavor of the lobio. Once she swallowed, she nodded. "I like it." Yuri ripped off another piece of flatbread and dipped it. "Do you?"

 _ **: I'm eating it, aren't I?**_

"Okay, no need to be snippy," Khoudia said. "All I asked was if you like it." Yuri laughed. Khoudia smiled when he laughed. "There's the Yuri not everyone knows." Yuri rolled his eyes. "And there's the Yuri everyone knows!" She giggled. "How are you feeling? How are the voices?"

 _ **: Me? I feel fine for right now.**_  
 _ **: The voices? They are still being an annoyance.**_

"Do you want me to talk to Phichit?" Yuri nodded. "Okay, I'll call Phichit." Khoudia put an earbud in and offered the other one to Yuri. Yuri put it in his ear and slightly leaned over the table. Khoudia called Phichit. "Ma foi," Khoudia said.

"Hey. How's Yuri?"

"He said he feels fine right now," Khoudia said. "He's actually listening to this conversation right now."

"Poupée, how are you doing?"

"Fine," Yuri whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" Phichit asked. "Khoudia, why is he whispering?"

"I don't know," she said. "He either whispers or he texts his responses to me. He hasn't explained why he has to do this." Yuri unlocked his phone and texted Khoudia.

 _ **: I can't talk too loud**_  
 _ **: The voices will start screaming**_

"He said that he can't talk too loud or else the voices will start screaming." Khoudia looked as if she had just realized something. "That's it?" Yuri nodded. "Really?" Yuri nodded again. "That's some reasoning," Khoudia said. Yuri shrugged and tore off another piece of flatbread.

"That's some reasoning, Yuri," Phichit said. "How has he been aside from that?" He asked. "How has ma poupée been otherwise?"

"He's been fine," Khoudia said. "He managed to practice while the voices were being a distraction. I am so happy about this."

"As am I," Phichit said. Yuri texted Phichit.

 _ **: How have you been while we've been gone? How are the hamsters?**_

"I've been so terribly lonely," he said. Then it sounded like Phichit was taking a sip of something. "The hamsters have been lovely, though. But I think they miss you more than I do."

 _ **: I miss the hamsters, too**_  
 _ **: Rub their fuzzy little heads for me**_

"I will. I'll even give them apple slices for you." Yuri touched his chest. "I will be sure to tell them that you love them, too."

 _ **: That would be lovely ((crying emoji))**_

"You two are weird," Khoudia said, fighting a smile.

"You're weird, Khoudia," Phichit retorted. "Yuri and I are discussing our sons. Don't act like you don't discuss Hadiya in this way." Khoudia sucked her teeth.

"You and Yuri can't have sons," Khoudia said before she took a sip of water. "Because Yuri and I have Adé. And Adé is older than the hamsters." Khoudia checked her fingernails. She was considering getting them done when she gets home.

"You're acting like Yuri can't have several sons." Yuri took a sip of water and continued to eat the lobio. "Adé is just as much Yuri's son as the hamsters are," Phichit said. "All of them are Yuri's sons. All of them." Yuri started to laugh. "Ah, there's the sound I love to hear."

"What's so funny?" Khoudia asked.

 _ **: We're discussing the hamsters as if they're actual people**_  
 _ **: Continue**_

"This just gets weirder and weirder," Khoudia said. She took a sip of water and looked at her phone. "Why am I even friends with you nerds?"

"Because we're all we have," Phichit said. "We're all weirdos and misfits and we're all we have." Yuri looked at Khoudia's phone, taking notice of her case. It was a mint green color with gold accents. "We've all attached to each other like a magnet to a refrigerator." The waitress came out with their salads.

"Done?" The waitress asked, pointing at the lobio. Yuri looked at Khoudia; she nodded and the waitress took away the dish. Yuri looked at his salad.

"Is there a problem?" Khoudia asked. Yuri shook his head. "Ma foi, our food just came. We have to go now. We'll talk to you later."

"Alright, Khoudia," Phichit said. "I love you, ma poupee."

 _ **: I love you, too**_

Phichit hung up and Khoudia found her fork. She started to eat. Yuri took the earbud out of his ear and gave it to Khoudia. "Thank you, baby," she said. Yuri started to eat his salad. The voices started to scream; he started trembling again and stopped eating. "Are you okay? Is something wrong with your salad?"

 _ **: I just hear screaming**_

"The voices?" Yuri nodded. "What are they saying?"

 _ **: They don't want me to eat the salad**_

"What do they want you to eat?" She asked.

 _ **: Not the salad**_

Khoudia nodded. "Would it be too much for me to ask you to continue eating your salad?" Yuri shrugged. "Can you try?" Yuri nodded. "Thank you," she said.

The voices continued in their rancorous behavior as Yuri ate. Khoudia was making conversation with Yuri as she ate, trying to keep him from focusing on his voices. It worked fairly well.

#

 **(Thursday, 26 November 2015 – 9:54pm, Moscow, Russia)**

After dinner, Yuri and Khoudia decided to go back to the hotel. It was getting late and Yuri wanted to get to bed. Khoudia was sitting on Yuri's bed, trying to decide whether or not she should stay with Yuri in his room or stay in hers. Yuri insisted that he would be fine without her presence, but Khoudia said that she would feel bad if she left him alone. So Yuri said that Khoudia could stay in his room with him. So now they're figuring out if Khoudia should get the bed or the chair.

 _ **: I'd feel bad if you slept on the chair.**_

"But this is _your_ room," Khoudia said. She had grabbed the blankets off of her bed. "I can't make you sleep on the chair in your own room."

 _ **: But you're my guest here.**_

"I'm not so much a guest but a caretaker," she said. "Plus, I've already torn the blanket off of my bed so I _need_ to sleep on the chair." Khoudia wrung the blanket. "So I'll sleep on the chair."

 _ **: Or you can just sleep in bed with me.**_

Khoudia reread the text several times to make sure she understood it. Yuri got in bed and pulled the covers back. He patted the spot where Khoudia could sleep.

 _ **: I don't want you sleeping on a chair. Just get in the bed.**_

"What do I do about my blanket?"

 _ **: Put it in the chair.**_

Khoudia put the blanket on the chair and sat at the foot of the bed. Yuri beckoned Khoudia to the place he had his hand. She tentatively crawled over to the spot. She put her ashy legs under the covers and stayed sitting up. She laid down on her back and looked at the ceiling. Yuri turned off the lights and laid on his back. The voices seemed to be quieter now.

"I've wanted this," Khoudia said, "with Olivia."

"I know," Yuri whispered.

"Yuri?" She said. "If you want, can you go to dinner with her and let me know how she is?" Khoudia wiped her eyes. "And can you take pictures of her, too?" Yuri nodded and rolled on his front. He checked his messages; Olivia had texted earlier, but Yuri chose to read the last message.

 _ **Olivia: So, what did you and Khoudia end up doing today?**_  
 _ **: We ate, walked around, and practiced.**_  
 _ **Olivia: I don't know why I expected you two to do otherwise lol**_

Khoudia rolled on her stomach and peered over Yuri's shoulder. "Would you mind if I watched you text her?" Yuri shrugged. "I'm going to watch you text her."

 _ **Olivia: What did you two eat?**_  
 _ **: For breakfast, Khoudia and I had salmon and cream cheese on a bagel.**_  
 _ **: She liked it but she felt uncomfortable eating it. Thought it was too decadent.**_

"It was!" She giggled. "I have never felt more lower middle class in my entire life until I saw salmon on a bagel!" She covered her face. "And there were capers! I have never heard of capers before today!" Yuri laughed.

 _ **: For dinner we had salads and lobio.**_  
 ** _: The lobio was good, ig._**

Khoudia got her phone and went to the Wikipedia app. "I'm going to read about capers again. I refuse to be embarrassed in public again." Yuri nodded. "So if you want to text Victor, you can. I won't look over your shoulder or anything. I'm nosy, but not that nosy." She giggled again.

"Thank you," Yuri whispered.

 _ **Victor: Солнышко ((sparkling heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Victor: Tell me about your day.**_

Yuri looked at the text. What does he even say to Victor about his day? "I woke up at 4am because I was wracked with guilt over how I've been less than honest with you"? "I'm currently hearing voices and some of them want me to inflict harm on myself"? "Haha nice"? Yuri didn't know what to tell him so he opted for something simple.

 _ **: It was fine.**_  
 _ **Victor: What did you do?**_  
 _ **: Went out to eat. Walked around. Took pictures.**_

Yuri rubbed his eyes. Khoudia turned on the lights and went to the camera app. "What are you doing?" Yuri asked. His voice was a bit louder now.

"I want to take a selfie." Yuri looked over at Khoudia. "I'm black. You can't see me in the dark." He shrugged. Khoudia snapped two seemingly identical flicks. "Take one with me." She threw her arm around Yuri's neck and kissed his cheek. He was subdued. She took two more. "Snapchat needs this. Turn on your light." Yuri did as he was asked and rolled his eyes. "Time for the thot filter!" She held down her finger and scrolled to the dog filter. Snapchat recognized Yuri but not Khoudia. She locked her phone. "Who needs Snapchat? It's racist anyway." Yuri laughed.

"Try the flower crown one."

"I'm surprised you know about that one."

"Phichit is my roommate, Khoudia," Yuri reminded her. "I know about all of the filters. All of them." Khoudia unlocked her phone and held her finger down on their faces. The flower crown worked on Yuri but not on Khoudia.

"What the fuck?!" She yelled and tossed her phone on the bed. "Snapchat, what the fuck?! Stop being racist!" Yuri laughed harder. "This is not funny, Yuri. I am tired of this." She started to talk about the history of photography and how people of color were largely ignored from the history of it. She finished her tirade with "ergo, Snapchat is racist" and angrily fluffed her pillow. Yuri laughed again. "This is some bullshit. I'm fighting the person who invented modern photography." Yuri laughed harder. Khoudia glared at Yuri and he eventually started to quiet up. His phone buzzed. "It's your boyfriend."

 _ **Victor: Did you go to Red Square?**_  
 _ **: No. But we went to Smolensky Convent and the Church of the Beheading of John the Baptist.**_  
 _ **Victor: Do you go to church?**_  
 _ **: No. She just likes church architecture and felt that I had to be outside more.**_

Yuri looked over at Khoudia; she was on Instagram. She was still fuming about the Snapchat filters.

 _ **Victor: Is your friend usually proactive about you sight-seeing?**_  
 _ **: Very. When I was in Bordeaux, she was adamant about me seeing the local spots and touristy areas.**_  
 _ **Victor: And she's from Detroit?**_

Yuri patted Khoudia's head gently and put his phone down. "Are you going to sleep now?" Yuri shrugged. "How do you not know if you're going to sleep?"

"I just don't know," Yuri muttered. He looked at Khoudia's timeline from over her shoulder. "Who's that?"

"Oh, this?" She liked the photo. "That's Sophia Deacon and Elizabeth Clancy." Yuri nodded. "They're here for the RC, but I think only Elizabeth is participating." Khoudia went to Sophia's Instagram. "You need to use your Instagram more. I will not always be around to tell you who's who."

"How do I go about using my Instagram more?" Khoudia shrugged. "That doesn't help at all."

"You'll have to actually start socializing with other skaters," Khoudia said. "Or you could comb Phichit's follow list and just follow people." Khoudia grabbed Yuri's phone. "Also, you post about things you like or scenes you saw." Yuri stroked his chin and unlocked his phone. Khoudia unlocked her phone and typed in her Instagram handle on Yuri's phone. "You can get started with my followers. Sweep away, my perfection." Yuri switched to Snapchat. "What are you doing?" He snapped a flick of him and Khoudia in bed and captioned it "ma petite sirene ((grinning emoji))" and added it to his story. "That was a good start, but most of the skaters worth caring about use Instagram." Yuri sucked his teeth and went back to Instagram. He was going to be combing Phichit's, Adé's, andKhoudia's Instagrams for a while.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Y'all getting this mega early because I don't feel like posting this on Friday/Saturday.

Also because I can't really sleep since I'm (still) working on 73 right now.


	59. Chapter 59

Ryuugazaki: I didn't go to class today so I figured I might as well do something useful.

Also, happy pre-Halloween. If you're gonna go trick-or-treating, remember to check your candy before you eat it. (Do y'all even trick-or-treat anymore? Are y'all so old that you don't trick-or-treat? See, I am very out of touch with these things. I'm old, okay.)

* * *

Chapter Fifty-Nine  
 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 4:24am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri swept his rink mates' Instagrams. It wasn't too difficult; they followed mostly the same skaters, but, aside from that, there were a lot of deviations. For instance, Phichit follows a lot of food blogging Instagrams while Adé and Khoudia follow black Instagram models. Yuri didn't know what niche he would fit in or what he would even do with his Instagram, but he guessed that he could use it to peer into the lives of fellow skaters.

But right now it was morning. Yuri hadn't slept a lick; the voices came back right when he was about to fall asleep. He was at the desk, typing away at the open Word document when he should be journaling. His therapist and psychiatrist are going to have a field day with the voices when he gets back; naturally, the voices were adamant about Yuri not mentioning them. He sighed and looked out the window. He hoped Khoudia remembered to bring her gloves; it's freezing outside and she's sensitive to temperature changes.

 _ **Mari: I have something to tell you.**_  
 _ **Mari: But I can't tell you just yet.**_  
 _ **: Mari, stop doing this to me.**_  
 _ **: Just tell me.**_  
 _ **Mari: I will. Just you wait.**_  
 _ **Mari: Give me until tomorrow.**_

Yuri rolled his eyes. He hoped that Mari was being genuinely serious when she said that she'll tell him what this thing is. He turned towards his journal. He made sure to note that he was frustrated and highly curious about what his sister could possibly have to say to him.

 _ **Olivia: Oh so you finally follow me back on Instagram**_  
 _ **Olivia: Only took you like… two years lmao**_  
 _ **: Shut up, Olivia**_  
 _ **Olivia: [clutches chest] Rude!**_  
 _ **: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**_

Yuri reread his last sentence and placed his journal back in his carry on bag. He looked over at Khoudia; she's still sleeping. Yuri took a picture of her and saved it. Then he posted it on his story, captioning it with "my petite sirene ((star emojis))".

 _ **Olivia: So wyd?**_  
 _ **: Nothing really. Just journaling.**_  
 _ **Olivia: You journal now?**_  
 _ **: Mm-hm.**_

Yuri looked around the room. The ceiling was the same color as yesterday. He felt that he was about to drop due to exhaustion, but the voices wouldn't let him sleep.

"Are you still awake?" Khoudia mumbled. Yuri looked back at her. She propped herself up. "Go the fuck to sleep." Khoudia threw her pillow at Yuri's head. "Have you even been to sleep?" Yuri shook his head and gave Khoudia her pillow. "Thank you. Now go to sleep." Yuri got back in bed and laid in his spot. He looked at the ceiling; it's still the same color. "You have to skate later today. Sleep." Khoudia put her head on Yuri's chest and held her hand on his bicep. She yawned like she was a newborn kitten. In this moment, she looked as vulnerable as a newborn.

#

 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 5:35am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri still wasn't asleep. He was alternating between looking at Khoudia sleep and looking at the ceiling. He thought about what it would be like if the ceiling caved in and crushed him and his current caretaker. Would the bed above them come down and mangle them, too? Was there even a bed above them? Yuri was curious but accepted that it was unlikely that he would ever find that out. There might be a strange skater – or a normal family – above them, sleeping peacefully, disregarding the monster in the walls. Khoudia knew about the monster but decided that sleep was more important than keeping watch.

Yuri looked at Khoudia sleep. She was on her right side and her braids were out of their ponytail. Yuri would fix it for her, but he couldn't find the scarf that she used to tie her braids back. He checked his phone. He had eighteen texts. About half of them were from Olivia. He read the last two messages.

 _ **Olivia: The suspense is killing me: what do you journal about?**_  
 _ **Olivia: I can't imagine that you'd have anything worthwhile to write in a journal**_  
 _ **: ((eye roll emoji))**_  
 _ **Olivia: Oh you're alive**_

Yuri rolled his eyes. Then he rubbed them. "Khoudia?" Yuri whispered. Khoudia was unresponsive. "Khoudia," Yuri said again as he nudged her arm. She elbowed him and covered her face with the blanket. Yuri sighed and rolled on his right side.

 _ **: I am.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Can I call you? I've missed hearing your voice.**_  
 _ **: I'm with Khoudia right now.**_  
 _ **Olivia: So you can't take my call or you won't take my call?**_  
 _ **: A little bit of both.**_

Yuri looked at his phone and went to Victor's messages. He felt bad for not responding to him last night, but he could've sworn that he was actually going to go to bed last night. If he had known that he wasn't going to go to bed, he would've responded.

 _ **Victor: I miss you**_

Yuri rubbed his eyes and reread Victor's last text. He should respond now.

 _ **: I miss you too**_

Yuri went back to Olivia's messages. Victor was probably asleep now. So was Phichit. Olivia, however – for some reason, was still awake.

 _ **Olivia: Why do you regard her the way you do?**_  
 _ **Olivia: I don't remember you ever being like this with her.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Ever.**_

Yuri shrugged. He couldn't remember when he started to care so much about Khoudia. He looked back at her. She was on her back and she had kicked the covers off of her. Yuri put the covers back on her and pulled the covers over his shoulders.

 _ **: I regard her the way I do because she's my friend and I care about her.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Is that all?**_

Yuri rolled his eyes again. What is Olivia even implying?

 _ **: Don't you have to go to bed or something?**_  
 _ **: Wait, where are you even staying? Who are you staying with?**_  
 _ **Olivia: I could tell you all of that if you let me call you.**_  
 _ **Olivia: So let me call you or else you'll be damned to an existence of not knowing.**_

Yuri sighed and reached over to the nightstand for his headphones. He plugged them into his phone and put the earbuds in. He was going to regret this. Immensely.

 _ **: Fine. You can call me.**_

Yuri sighed again and waited for Olivia to call. She called after a minute. "Yuri!" Olivia said. Her voice was sweet and modulated – just like the day she left. "I've missed your voice." Mm-hm. "You don't believe me?"

"Not really," Yuri said.

"Una vergogna (a shame)," she said. "Will you ever trust me?" Yuri was taciturn. "Have you ever trusted me?" Yuri remained taciturn. "I'm not going to get an answer, am I?" Yuri breathed into the phone. "I know you're there. Answer me."

"What do you want me to say?" Yuri asked. He looked at his fingers.

"Act like you're paying attention. Act like you care about what I'm saying," Olivia said. "Can you do that?"

"Sure," Yuri said. "Didn't you say that you were going to tell me who you were staying with and where you were staying?"

"I did, but can't we just talk first?" Yuri remained silent. "You've been standoffish since I texted you on Wednesday." Yuri looked back at Khoudia. There weren't any signs that she was awake. "Let's just talk normally. How have you been? How's Moscow treating you?"

"Moscow's been fine so far," Yuri said. He bit his lip and thought about something else he could say regarding the matter. "Khoudia and I got here Wednesday night."

"Did you get the chance to practice your routines?" Yuri answered in the affirmative. "How did those go?"

"I wanted to die the entire time," Yuri said. He felt Khoudia stir. He tensed up but then relaxed when he didn't hear her voice.

"Sounds rough." Olivia yawned. "Are you in the mood to FaceTime? I want to see how your face has changed." Yuri looked over at the desk. "I bet it's gotten even more handsome since the day I left." Yuri shrugged in response to her comment. The FaceTime notification came through; Yuri accepted it. "Hey!" Olivia said. He leaned his phone against the nightstand. Olivia's face was still pixelated from the connection. "Can you see me?"

"You're still pixelated." Olivia sighed. Soon the connection fixed itself. Olivia was clear. Her hair was as umber brown as it's ever been and her eyes were the color of green tourmaline. It also seems that she's stopped using makeup to fix her aquiline nose, too; either that or she had washed her makeup off before she called. Her skin was clear and her lips were rosy. It seemed that her (nearly) three years in Paris did her well.

"You look like you haven't aged a bit," Olivia said. "I've missed your face." Olivia smiled. She looked like she was laying on someone's sofa. Yuri briefly entertained the idea that she was at _his_ home, but immediately dismissed it. The sofa looked nothing like theirs did and Yuri and Phichit didn't own pillows like the one Olivia was resting her head on. "Did you miss my face? How do I look?"

"You look gorgeous," Yuri admitted. She does look gorgeous. She somehow looked healthier, too. "I… I grew accustomed to not seeing your face." Yuri felt his face heat up. Olivia giggled.

"Ah, you still blush when you see me. How cute!"

"I'm not blushing," Yuri sputtered. Yuri covered his face with the covers. It was so much warmer under there. "This just happens when it's cold."

"You've missed me," Olivia said. Yuri peeked at his phone screen; she was smiling now. "Poke your head from under the covers. I'm FaceTiming you to see your face. Don't hide from me now." Yuri did as Olivia asked and placed his head back on his pillow. Khoudia rolled on her stomach and threw her arm over Yuri's chest. "Is that Khoudia's arm?" Yuri nodded. "How did you two get so close? You weren't like this when I was still here." Olivia rubbed her eyes. "The thought of sharing a bed with someone is abhorrent to you, no? What changed?"

"We're sharing a bed out of necessity."

"The ISU doesn't allow male and female skaters to share rooms – let alone beds. Try again."

"I don't need to try again. I said what I said." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"What's going on that makes you two sharing a bed necessary?" Olivia asked. Yuri looked back at Khoudia. She didn't seem to be awake yet. "Well?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you over dinner." Olivia smiled.

"I'm surprised you still want to go to dinner with me," she said. "When do you want to go? Where should we go? What do you want to do after?" Yuri shrugged. "How about we go to the barbeque place downtown? And we can go…" Olivia's face became blurred. "How about we go on the Wednesday that you come back? Does that sound good?"

"Sounds great," Yuri said.

"What do you want to do after? We can go to a park."

Yuri remembered that they hadn't set a time. "What time do you want to meet?" He asked. "I'm free after 3pm."

"How about we meet at 7pm?" Olivia was glowing now. "Is that good?" Yuri nodded. She smiled and said, "Since we're meeting at 7pm, we probably won't be able to go to the park. How about we get some drinks instead?" Yuri shrugged. Then he nodded. "Do you like that idea?" Yuri nodded. "I can't wait to see you."

"Yuri?" Khoudia murmured. She sat up. "What are you doing up? I told you to go to sleep." She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

"I couldn't sleep."

"Make yourself sleep," she said. "You're skating tonight. You need sleep more than I do right now."

"I really can't sleep," Yuri said. Khoudia looked at Yuri's headphones and saw that they were connected to his phone. Then she looked at the screen. She squinted, grabbed his phone, and ended the call.

"Go the fuck to sleep." Khoudia took Yuri's phone and put it under her pillow. Yuri laid back down, his hands folded across his chest. Khoudia rolled on her right side and put her legs on top of Yuri's. If this was how Khoudia was going to prevent him from getting out of bed to do something, it was working. Because Yuri wasn't going to risk disturbing Khoudia's sleep to get out of bed.

He still couldn't sleep, though.

#

 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 6:18pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Khoudia was in the dressing room, doing Yuri's makeup. While there was a slim chance that Yuri might've been imagining it, he was convinced that Khoudia has been quieter today. Coach Cialdini didn't take his eyes off of Yuri and Khoudia; he didn't want to hear from other coaches and skaters that his skaters were being rambunctious. Khoudia reached for the eyeliner; Yuri grabbed her hand. "Are you upset about what you saw this morning?" Yuri asked. His voice was a whisper.

"I'm not upset," she said. "Now let me do your eyeliner."

"Then why are you so quiet?" He asked. "It has to be about something." Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Khoudia."

"Okay, fine, I'm a little upset," she said. "What were you two even talking about?"

"We were talking about going to dinner when I come back." Khoudia uncapped the eyeliner and started to work on Yuri's right eye. Khoudia nodded. "Is my eyeliner going to be sharp?" He asked, trying to elicit a good reaction out of her. She shrugged. Yuri sighed.

"Could you not be in calls with her when I'm in bed?" Khoudia asked. "The thought of that makes me feel weird."

"I won't be in calls with her when we're in bed," Yuri said. "Now can I have my phone back?" After Khoudia took his phone this morning, she's kept it away from him. When she went to take a shower in her room, she took his phone with him. When they went out for breakfast, she kept his phone in her pocket. Had Yuri not been talking to anyone, he wouldn't have minded; however, he had several people that he was interacting with and he wanted to interact with them.

"What are you two talking about?" Coach Cialdini asked. He had been listening intently, trying to work out the situation. He knew that Khoudia would be in Yuri's room if he needed her and that Yuri was having an episode. He swore to himself that he would act like nothing was going on if it came to that. But he was lost when it came to why Khoudia had Yuri's phone.

"Yuri was talking to Olivia in bed," Khoudia said to Coach Cialdini. He moved his chair closer to Yuri and Khoudia. "And this was _after_ I told him to go to bed."

"Are you mad about me not going to bed when you told me to or are you mad about me talking to Olivia?" Yuri asked.

Khoudia was about to respond to Yuri's question, but Coach Cialdini interrupted her. "Are you two still ruminating on Liv's return?" He asked. "She's back."

"Are you taking her back?" Khoudia asked.

"I'm still thinking about it," Coach Cialdini said. "I told her that I would have a response for her when we come back." Coach Cialdini looked at his nails. "You two need to come to terms with your relationship with Liv. Because, like it or not, she's back in Detroit and she might be back at the rink." Khoudia sucked her teeth. "You need to work through your feelings for her and you have to do it fast."

"So I presume you're leaning towards taking her back," Yuri said. Khoudia almost jabbed Yuri in the eye with the eyeliner. "Khoudia, please don't stab me in the eye. I want to retain whatever vision I have."

"I don't know if I am yet," Coach Cialdini said. "Like I said, I'm still considering it." Khoudia went to do Yuri's left eye. "Both of you have old wounds that need to be healed. You have to start healing them." Khoudia sucked her teeth again. "Khoudia Bâ Sène, don't suck your teeth at me." Khoudia fought the urge to roll her eyes. Yuri felt his phone buzz.

"Can I get my phone?"

"No," Khoudia said. "I'm doing your makeup. You don't need your phone to get your makeup did." Yuri rolled his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me." Yuri sucked his teeth. "Suck your teeth again and I'll pop you in your mouth." Yuri fought the urge to suck his teeth and roll his eyes. So he just sat there in his ire. "Is your hair done?" Khoudia asked.

"I thought _you_ were doing my hair," Yuri said.

"No?" She said. "I thought you were done." Khoudia stopped applying Yuri's eyeliner. "How do you do your hair? Do you use gel?" Yuri nodded. "I'll do your hair while I'm at it, I suppose." Khoudia finished up Yuri's other eye and got the comb and gel out of Yuri's bag. She sucked her teeth when she saw the brand of gel he uses; she uses a much higher quality gel for ethnic hair types. In fact, she's using it for her edges right now. Khoudia started to comb Yuri's hair. "You need to use better gel. This is for white people hair."

"It works, though." Khoudia tsk-tsked and continued to comb Yuri's hair. Yuri's phone buzzed again. "May I please have my phone?" He asked. Khoudia pointed to her coat pocket. Yuri reached in her pocket and found it beneath the pile of napkins Khoudia had in there.

 _ **Olivia: Do you know when you're going?**_

 _ **Christophe: I haven't seen you at all yet**_  
 _ **Christophe: You're here, aren't you?**_

 _ **Victor: How has your day been?**_

Yuri chose to respond to the easiest texts first and started with Olivia.

 _ **: I'm going second.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Aah!**_  
 _ **: Mm-hm. I'm going second. I have enough time to die.**_  
 _ **Olivia: lmao**_

Khoudia got up and walked around to Yuri's back. She started to comb the back of his head. She was applying more force than necessary. Yuri was wincing in pain. "Khoudia!"

"What?" She asked and stopped combing.

"Why are you combing the back of my head like you're trying to kill me?"

"I had forgotten that you're not black," she said. She resumed combing Yuri's head, trying to be more gentle. He returned his attention to his phone. He decided to respond to Chris' messages next.

 _ **: I'm here.**_  
 _ **Chris: I want to see** **youuu**_  
 _ **: You will eventually.**_

Yuri briefly flirted with responding to Victor's message. What does he tell him? That he hasn't slept since the night before? That he's hallucinating? That he's actually going to dinner with the person he told him not to worry about? "Yes," he said to himself. "That's _exactly_ what he should tell him." Yuri looked at Victor's message.

 _ **: My day… could be better**_  
 _ **Victor: What happened?**_

Victor's response came as quickly as Yuri texted him. He sighed. He couldn't do this. Yuri went to his camera app and took a flick of Khoudia combing his hair. She reached for the hand towel and the hair gel and started to run her fingers through Yuri's hair.

 _ **: I hadn't slept at all**_

Yuri debated adding on "and I'm hearing voices" on to his statement but decided against it. He didn't want to alienate him so soon. Khoudia started to gel Yuri's sideburns.

 _ **Victor: Why haven't you slept?**_  
 _ **: I don't know. I just went to bed last night and I just couldn't sleep.**_  
 _ **Victor: Awh. Are you tired right now?**_  
 _ **: Honestly? I am capable of collapsing due to exhaustion at any moment, but I genuinely feel great.**_  
 _ **Victor: That… doesn't sound good**_

Khoudia ran her fingers through Yuri's hair again. Then she reached for the comb again.

 _ **Victor: I was going to suggest that you skip the event tonight and catch up on your sleep, but I am genuinely concerned right now**_  
 _ **Victor: Is this normal for you?**_

Yuri sucked his teeth and started to tremble inside. This is what he was trying to avoid: a concerned, curious Victor. He was grateful that he was concerned – that he was showing his concern – but he didn't need this. Not right now when there was so much he hadn't explained and he didn't have much control over the situation. He felt the dread nestle in his bones. He didn't know how he was going to skate tonight when he was overcome with malaise.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Actually, there are two big reveals in these cards. One is coming in like the next chapter or so. The other one comes later.

So stay on your toes!


	60. Chapter 60

Ryuugazaki: It's the thing!

* * *

Chapter Sixty  
 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 7:45pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri's legs were weak when he stepped off of the ice and went to the kiss and cry. He buried his face in his coach's chest once he reached him. He skated his best tonight and he was exhausted from it. Coach Cialdini lightly patted Yuri's back. Khoudia had found her way to the area surrounding the kiss and cry. The voices started making incomprehensible sounds; Yuri held on to Coach Cialdini. Khoudia broke through the crowd and stood behind Coach Cialdini and Yuri. She kissed Yuri's forehead tenderly. "Your hotline is blinging," she said in his ear.

"What?" Yuri whispered. He couldn't distinguish her voice from that of his hallucinations. In that moment, he felt bad that he couldn't make out his friend's voice.

"Hold on." She gave Yuri his phone and smiled.

 _ **Khoudia: Your hotline is blinging.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: That is to say, your phone has been buzzing nonstop.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Also, I'd respond to Victor as soon as you can.**_

Yuri unlocked his phone to respond to Khoudia's messages.

 _ **: What did you do?**_

Khoudia readied her camera. "I'll tell you after we take this selfie," she whispered in his ear. He was able to catch some of what she said. Yuri and Khoudia posed for the selfie and took three more – at her insistence, of course. Her hands were cold and she had them by Yuri's neck. "I'm sorry my hands are so cold."

 _ **: It's fine.**_  
 _ **: Now, what did you do?**_

"Well, _I_ didn't do anything," she said. "But I can't tell you everything that's going on right now." Yuri looked at her stretch. "Find me in your dressing room. We're going out to eat with a few skaters." Khoudia patted Yuri's shoulder with her cold hands. "I'm so proud of you." She removed her hands from Yuri's shoulders and walked through the crowd. What exactly could be so harrowing, so dreadful that Khoudia can't even speak of it? Yuri didn't know, but he didn't have the time to check his messages and see what she means. His scores were coming in.

Yuri cried when he saw his scores. His heart felt like it was going to beat its way out of his chest. Coach Cialdini had his arm around Yuri's shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Yuri felt his phone buzz. Then it buzzed again. Yuri squeezed Coach Cialdini with all his strength. Then he pulled away, wiped his eyes, and smiled. In this moment, he was truly happy. He was glad that he broke his personal record. Despite his auditory hallucinations interfering, he was happy that he was here – experiencing this.

Yuri wiped his eyes again and smiled at his coach. Coach Cialdini was smiling, too. He had interviews to do now.

#

 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 8:25pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri went back to his dressing room to change. Khoudia was in there with three other people. He came in, gave Khoudia his phone, and started to take off his top. "Yuri, before you start changing, let me introduce you!" Yuri pulled his top back down and walked over to Khoudia. "This, right here," she said, gesturing to the only other male-bodied person here, "is Michael Harris. He skated tonight." Yuri nodded. Michael had a pained smile on his face. "This," she said, gesturing to the small blonde, "is Sophia Deacon –"

"But you can call me 'Soph,'" Sophia said. Yuri nodded.

"And I'm Elizabeth Clancy," the black-haired girl said. Yuri nodded again.

"I saw you two on Instagram last night," Yuri murmured. Elizabeth and Sophia looked confused. "Khoudia, are you done introducing me to people?" She nodded. He started to take off his top again. They stayed there. Yuri looked at Khoudia and made a gesture, signaling to her to get the skaters to leave. She ushered them out and told them to wait by the door. Khoudia stayed inside with Yuri. "Don't you want to leave too?" He whispered.

"I'm fine with this," she said. She handed Yuri his clothes; she refolded them some time between coming back to wait for his and Yuri's arrival. He dressed slowly and didn't make conversation with Khoudia. "Did you text Victor back?" Yuri shook his head. "Ma raison, it's imperative that you text him back." Yuri's phone buzzed. "That's Christophe Giacometti. Don't worry about that." Yuri nodded and reached for his shirt; Khoudia passed it to him. "I don't know what's going on, but you need to respond to your boyfriend. It seems important."

"I will," he whispered. He took off his costume pants and passed them to Khoudia. She folded that and his top. Once Yuri got his pants on, Khoudia gave him his phone.

"Text him. Now," Khoudia said. Yuri nodded and went to Victor's messages; he went to the last read message.

 _ **Victor: Is this normal for you?**_  
 _ **Victor: So uh… This is awkward.**_  
 _ **Victor: Yura, can you call me?**_  
 _ **Victor: It's regarding something Chris told me.**_  
 _ **Victor: It's important.**_  
 _ **: I can't talk right now.**_

Yuri gave his phone back to Khoudia. He put on his sports jacket and sat in his chair to put on his shoes. "Well?" Khoudia asked. Yuri unlocked his phone and showed the texts to Khoudia. "Yuri, _no_ , you don't say that!" She chastised him. "You ask him what the thing is about!" Yuri sucked his teeth. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: You don't understand, Yuri.**_  
 _ **Victor: I need to talk to you right now.**_  
 _ **: I know and I understand that, but I can't talk right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: What is possibly holding your attention right now?**_

Yuri looked at his phone. "So it's finally happened," he thought. He stopped putting on his shoes. He locked his phone and gave it to Khoudia. "Get that thing away from me."

"Don't you at least want to see what our rink mates told you?" Khoudia pleaded. "Adé seems particularly moved." Yuri shook his head. "Are you hallucinating again?" Yuri nodded. Khoudia covered her mouth with her hands. Yuri looked up at her. "We don't have to go to dinner then!" She said. "If you don't think you're able to, I can cancel dinner with Coach Harcourt's skaters!" Yuri put his right foot in his shoe and held out his hand for his phone. He unlocked it and texted Khoudia.

 _ **: It's fine. I'll go with you.**_  
 _ **: I don't want to leave you alone with the pale faces.**_

Khoudia started laughing. She tilted Yuri's head up and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, Yuri," she said. "That means a lot. I don't want to be alone with a bunch of pale faces either."

 _ **: Then why did you volunteer us to go to dinner with them?**_

"They invited us out after Michael's skate. It felt rude to decline an invite."

 _ **: Are they paying?**_

"Yuri, you know pale faces are cheap as fuck. You know they're not paying." She laughed. "They're gonna say 'okay now, who is paying for what? I call paying for the sodas' and watch the sodas be like $5." She laughed harder. Yuri smiled. "There's the smile I cherish." She squeezed Yuri's cheeks. "Come on, we have to get back to the hotel." Yuri put on his left shoe.

 _ **: Where are we going to eat?**_

"We were actually discussing that when you were being interviewed. I think we agreed on Shake Shack." Yuri kept his eyes fixed on Khoudia as he tied his shoes. She was smiling. "I really hope we're going to Shake Shack. It's been a minute since I've had their fries." Yuri nodded. "I know, right? Those fries good as shit!" Khoudia laughed. She packed Yuri's costume in his bag and readied his coat for him. "I still can't believe that there's a Shake Shack in Moscow! But Soph did say that we'll probably have to take an Uber to Shake Shack, though."

 _ **: Are you getting a burger?**_

"Maybe! I can't remember when was the last time I had a ShackBurger." Khoudia stretched. Yuri shrugged on his coat and grabbed his bag. "I kind of want to try their SmokeShack burger with the apple wood bacon, but I can't." Yuri knit his brow. "Muslim, honey."

 _ **: I actually have a question regarding that.**_

"Shoot, honey," she said.

 _ **: When you say you're Muslim, how Muslim are you? Like, are there degrees to your Muslimness?**_

"Well," she said, "I… I genuinely don't know how to answer your question." She put on her coat. Yuri zipped her coat for her. "It's weird. I could've sworn that I was thinking about this last night." She zipped Yuri's coat for him. Then she put on a hat. "Let's go!" Khoudia opened the door to the hallway. Sophia, Elizabeth, and Michael were all on their phones. Khoudia took Yuri's costume bag from him and left him to lug his equipment along.

"So, Coach Cialdini's your coach, too, Yuri?" Sophia asked. Yuri nodded. "Khadijah was telling us how you're an artist." Yuri side-eyed Khoudia. She was smiling.

 _ **: What exactly did you tell them about my art?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I just said that you're an artist.**_  
 _ **: You didn't SHOW them anything, did you?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: No ofc not.**_

Michael was talking to Elizabeth about his scores for tonight. He was currently ranked above Yuri. Coach Cialdini's and Coach Harcourt's skaters stopped at the light. "Maybe you can show me your art some time, Yuri," Sophia suggested. Yuri shrugged. "What do usually draw?"

"I draw…" Yuri's voice trailed off. What _does_ he usually draw? "I draw what my heart wants," he said.

"And what does your heart want?" Sophia asked. Yuri cracked a smile and started to chuckle. "Did I say something funny?"

"No, no," he said. "I just get asked that question a lot when it comes to my art." Yuri tried to smile. He was thinking of all the time Victor's asked him that. He finally understood what he was asking when he says that. And the realization of that made him laugh. "But, um, I usually draw bodies and body parts." Yuri started to think. "Sometimes I draw places."

"Are they good drawings?" Sophia asked.

"Good is subjective," Yuri told her. She knit her brow. "But they're fine, I suppose. They were good enough to get me in my college's art program." Sophia smiled. The light changed; the group started to walk again. Yuri sped up so that he was at Khoudia's side. He was flattered that someone wanted to talk to him, but he wasn't in the talking mood tonight. He had two situations he had to deal with and neither of them were easily solvable.

"I study business telecommunications," Sophia said. She was standing by Yuri's side.

"How is it?" He asked.

"I don't know yet. I'm still taking gen ed classes." Yuri nodded. "How have your classes been?"

"My classes have been fine," Yuri muttered. He looked over at Khoudia, mentally pleading for her to save him. Sophia was a curious, bubbly girl. "How old are you?" He asked.

"I'm nineteen," she chirped. Yuri looked her up and down and nodded. He could believe that she's nineteen; she looks and sounds nineteen. He – nor Khoudia – had to face that situation: looking and sounding your age. "How old are you?" Sophia asked back.

"I'm twenty-two," Yuri said. He took out his phone and went to Chris' messages.

 _ **Chris: So um… I think I kind of screwed you over.**_  
 _ **Chris: I would just like to formally apologize for that. I didn't know that Victor still didn't know.**_  
 _ **Chris: I hope I finally get to meet you tonight though.**_  
 _ **Chris: I'm stepping on the ice in a bit. Hope to catch you later honey.**_

Yuri sighed. So his suspicions were confirmed. His recent, most dreaded fear has come true and he had no control over it. Sophia started to make conversation with Khoudia; she must've noticed that Yuri was getting uncomfortable. Yuri sighed again. He might as well check the rest of his texts. He started with Adé. Khoudia said that they seemed moved, but all Yuri could gather was that Adé was crying.

 _ **Adé: Papaaa**_  
 _ **Adé: ((crying emojis))**_

Yuri sent Adé a sparkling heart emoji and went to Phichit's messages.

 _ **Phichit: My** **babyyy** **((heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Phichit: That was so good**_  
 _ **Phichit: You are so good**_  
 _ **Phichit: You have blown me away**_  
 _ **Phichit: I love you so much**_

Yuri sent a flick of him walking down the street. It was dark and blurry and Phichit sent one back of him wrapped in a blanket. Yuri smiled.

 _ **Masabeeh: Tal'at and I just want to say that** **we** **died and came back.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: We have seen Jannah and we saw it in your performance.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: We love you!**_  
 _ **: I love you two too**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Tal'at is gushing.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Have a nice night dad ((heart emoji))**_  
 _ **: You have a nice day, too, Masa**_

Masabeeh sent a picture of her grinning. That made Yuri smile some more. Then he went to Mari's messages.

 _ **Mari: That performance was amazing.**_  
 _ **Mari: Mom and Dad have been blown away.**_  
 _ **: That's the second time I've heard that tonight.**_  
 _ **Mari: Well believe it because it's true.**_

Yuri went to Olivia's messages. What could she possibly have to say?

 _ **Olivia: Your skating's really changed since the last time I saw you.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Who was that for? That skating /had/ to be for someone.**_  
 _ **: It was for me.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Mm-hm.**_

He shrugged. He should probably mention his bonheur to her eventually. She should know that he has someone now. "If he doesn't decide he doesn't want anything to do with me, that is," he thought. They stopped at another light. He felt a wave of dread wash over him. What if Victor actually didn't want anything to do with him? He checked his phone.

 _ **Victor: I know you're alive.**_  
 _ **Victor: What is keeping you from answering me?**_  
 _ **: I'm walking to the hotel right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: But you're responding right now.**_  
 _ **: I know I am.**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm calling you.**_

Yuri looked back at his phone. Victor couldn't call him right now. He wanted to have this conversation in a nice, calm, inside place. Not out in public where he couldn't be as emotional as he felt.

 _ **: That's not a good idea right now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Why not?**_  
 _ **: There's /so much/ I haven't explained to you and I don't know how to put it.**_  
 _ **: Also, listen to Futile Devices by Sufjan Stevens**_

He felt something in him writhe and talking to Victor was making it writhe more. This is what he was trying to avoid. He took deep breaths and reread Victor's texts. This was moving oh-so-fast.

 _ **Victor: What does that have to do with anything?**_  
 _ **: It doesn't have anything to do with anything. But listen to it.**_  
 _ **: I'll text you when I get to the hotel.**_  
 _ **Victor: What are you doing right now?**_  
 _ **: Going to eat with some skaters.**_

Yuri put his phone in his pocket and walked behind Khoudia the entire time. They got back to the hotel. Khoudia briefly separated from Yuri to go to her hotel room. Yuri left his suitcase and costume by the door and took off his coat. He went to his other suitcase and took out his Docs. He changed shoes quickly and sat on his bed.

 _ **: You can call me now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Are you sure? Are you sitting down?**_  
 _ **: I'm actually about to get up.**_

Yuri put his coat back on and took deep breaths. He briefly wondered if he could do this right now, right before he was expected to socialize. He looked at boots and looked at how the light shined on them. Yuri got up and zipped up his coat. He put his headphones in and connected them to his phone.

 _ **: I think I'm ready now.**_  
 _ **Victor: Good because I'm not**_  
 _ **: If you're not ready, don't force yourself.**_

Victor must've not gotten Yuri's last text in time because he called immediately after Yuri sent it. "Hey," Yuri whispered. "I can't talk too loud right now."

"Are you already with company?"

"No. Can you hear me fine?"

"You sound low, but I can just listen harder," Victor said.

"No, no, don't strain yourself." Yuri moved his foot. His ankles were starting to ache. "Maybe we should have this conversation later."

"No, we can have it now. This is long overdue."

"It is overdue," Yuri said. "Who starts? Where do we start?"

"We can start with the 'why,'" Victor said. There was a silence between the two. Yuri thought of things he could say to fill the silence. "This is the part where you explain why you neglected to tell me that you're a figure skater for almost three months."

"I know," he said. "I was planning on telling you a lot sooner, but I didn't know how to deliver it. And when I _did_ finally know how to deliver it, it was too late."Yuri heard a knock at the door. It's probably Khoudia.

"Yuri?" She said. She knocked again. "Open the door." Yuri opened the door. Khoudia had changed clothes. "Are you ready?" He nodded. They walked to the elevator.

"Is that Khoudia?" Victor asked, stumbling over her name. Yuri would smile at that if it wasn't for this treacherous situation.

"It is her," he said to Victor. Khoudia whipped out her phone and texted Yuri.

 _ **Khoudia: Is that Victor?**_  
 _ **: It is.**_

"Is that it? Do you have more to say?" Victor asked. Yuri was silent. "Are you there?"

"I'm thinking." The elevator came. There were two other people on there. Khoudia and Yuri got on. "Do you have any more questions? I'll tell you as much as you need to hear." Yuri exchanged glances with one of the men on the elevator. "I never intended on keeping it from you for so long."

"I understand," Victor said. "Did I do something that made you not want to tell me?"

"Not at all," Yuri said. "The fault lies entirely with me. You haven't done anything to make me _not_ want to tell you. I was just afraid _to_ tell you."

"Why though?"

"Because it's you." The men in the elevator exchanged glances with each other. Khoudia moved closer to Yuri and grabbed his arm. She led him off of the elevator and to Coach Harcourt's skaters.

"Oh, there you are!" Sophia beamed. Khoudia quieted her down. "What's going on?" She said.

"He's talking to someone," Khoudia said in a hushed voice.

"I'm sorry," Yuri said. "I'm with other people right now."

"I can hang up then –"

"No, no, I still want to talk to you," Yuri said. He looked over at Khoudia who looked at Michael and Elizabeth. They weren't making any moves.

 _ **: Should we just leave and take Sophia with us?**_

Khoudia shrugged. Sophia, sensing that Yuri and Khoudia were talking about them, nudged her friends. "We should get going," Elizabeth said. She got up and stretched. Michael followed behind Elizabeth. Sophia offered to request the Uber. The five of them were waiting outside of the hotel. In retrospect, it was probably a better idea for them to wait inside, but they were already standing outside and they didn't want to turn tail and go back in.

"What are you doing right now?" Victor asked.

"Just standing around, waiting for this Uber," Yuri said. Elizabeth and Michael were taking, but Yuri couldn't make out about what.

"What about me made you afraid to tell me?"

"It wasn't you specifically," he said. "I wanted to come to you as a person. Not as a competitor."

"All I've wanted is you," Victor said. "Hasn't that been obvious?" Yuri stayed silent and looked over at Khoudia. She was texting Phichit. "I think I'll let you go now. You deserve to go out tonight." Yuri remained silent. "Skate your best. I'll be watching you tomorrow."

"Wait what?!"

"I'll be watching you tomorrow. So skate your best," Victor said. Yuri's hands started shaking. Khoudia patted his arm gently. "I can't wait to see your free skate." Khoudia got on her toes to hear what Victor was saying. "Maybe I'll even see you at the Grand Prix." Victor chuckled. Yuri was floored. He's laughing now? After Yuri neglected to tell him something huge and gave his shoddy reasoning on why he didn't tell him, he's laughing? Yuri was confused by this exact moment. "I'll text you."

"Okay," Yuri said. Khoudia popped her leg out trying to achieve more height. She really wanted to hear what was being said. Yuri put his hand on her shoulder and tried to lower her down.

"Stop! I want to hear!" Khoudia yelled. The couple walking by looked when they heard her. Victor chuckled again.

"This conversation is only for tall people," Yuri said. Victor started laughing. Khoudia was a small ball of fury right now.

"Unfair!" Yuri shushed her and kissed her forehead.

"Do you want to hang up now?" Yuri asked. "Khoudia is just going to get louder."

"Khoudia seems like she's a lot of fun."

"She is, truly," Yuri said. "Text me. Please. She's going to get worse."

"I will," Victor said and hung up. The fact that he didn't say "I love you" left Yuri unnerved. Yuri took out his phone and showed the lock screen to Khoudia. She gave up once she saw that the call was over.

"So?" She asked. Sophia looked to have her interest piqued by Khoudia's interest. "What did he say? What happened?"

 _ **: Christophe told Victor about my skating. He doesn't seem to be angry or upset about it.**_  
 _ **: Also he's going to be watching me skate tomorrow so I have to not fuck up.**_

"What?!" Khoudia yelled. Michael and Elizabeth stopped talking. "Sorry I interrupted you two," she said to Michael and Elizabeth. Khoudia grabbed Yuri's face and brought him to her level. "So, as I was saying: Do not fuck up tomorrow. I do not have time for your dry wit. You _cannot_ fuck up tomorrow. You'll have to skate like your life depends on it. No pressure, though."

 _ **: Wow ((eye roll emoji))**_

"I'm being serious."

 _ **: I'm sure you are.**_  
 _ **: But what if I don't /want/ to** **skate like** **my life depends on it? What if I want to skate how my heart feels?**_

"How does your heart feel then?" She asked. Sophia moved closer to Khoudia, trying to listen in.

 _ **: Like I need to leave immediately and go to a place where I'm safe.**_

"That's not a valid feeling."

 _ **: Invalidating much?**_

Khoudia rolled her eyes. Yuri looked over at Sophia; she looked confused. "All I'm saying is that you have to skate your best. It's imperative that you do."

"Why does he need to skate his best?" Sophia stood behind Khoudia. "Wasn't he skating his best tonight? Because tonight was amazing." Yuri shrugged and took out his phone. Olivia had texted.

 _ **Olivia: Well, tonight was breathtaking.**_  
 _ **Olivia: I hope you skate like that tomorrow.**_  
 _ **Olivia: And maybe you can skate for me when you come back.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Just suggesting lmao**_  
 _ **: That's… not happening. Sorry.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Lol can't say I didn't try.**_

Yuri put his phone away after going to his messages with Victor. He still hasn't texted yet. "How far is the Uber?" Khoudia asked Sophia.

"Seven minutes," she said. Yuri and Khoudia nodded. Yuri took out his headphones and shoved them into his pocket. Victor wasn't going to text anytime soon. "We're going to freeze out here," Sophia said. "Why don't we go back inside?"

"Because we already left," Khoudia told her. "We'd look kind of dumb coming back in after two minutes of coming out. You can go back inside, though."

 _ **: If it's between "looking dumb" and "freezing" I think I'd rather look dumb**_  
 _ **: Also, I'm surprised you haven't gone back inside already**_  
 _ **: Being African and averse to the cold and all**_

"Shut up, Yuri," Khoudia said. Yuri chuckled.

"What did he say?" Sophia asked. Khoudia showed her the texts he just sent her. "Oh," she said. "We can just wait by the door." Sophia squeezed in the space behind Michael and opened the door. She tapped on the glass and waved at Yuri and Khoudia through it.

 _ **: Are we really going to go back into the lobby?**_

"I don't want to look dumb," Khoudia said. "So we're freezing."

 _ **: We?**_

"You're not leaving me to freeze by myself. This is a group project and we're all putting in work." Yuri sucked his teeth and failed. "You're doing a bad job."

 _ **: I know.**_  
 _ **: My fingers might fall off at any moment.**_

Khoudia looked at her phone and remained silent. Then her phone got a notification of a text from Sophia.

 _ **Sophia: Five minutes**_

Yuri and Khoudia looked back at her; she had her phone pressed to the glass. She was showing them Uber. Yuri looked at Sophia carefully. Her long and wavy, blonde hair was tucked into her wool cap and coat. Her eyes were the color of topaz and she had slight bags under her eyes. Her nose was small and dainty and had freckles on the bridge and cheeks. Her cheeks were rosy, but Yuri couldn't tell if that was due to the cold or if she had naturally rosy cheeks. She had some joie de vivre about her and that was an endearing quality. All in all, she was a cute, friendly kid.

"So Chris told him?" Khoudia said in a hushed voice. Yuri nodded. "What did he say to him exactly?" Yuri shrugged and took out his phone. He went to Chris' messages and showed them to Khoudia. "But that doesn't tell me what Chris said."

 _ **: Do you want me to ask him what he said?**_

"That would be nice." Yuri sighed and went in the reply bar and looked at the cursor. He decided that this was better than anything else.

 _ **: Hey Chris, can you tell me what you said to Victor?**_  
 _ **Chris: [has sent attachments]**_  
 _ **Chris: There ya go, cutie**_  
 _ **Chris: Did you see me skate tonight?**_  
 _ **: I didn't. Sorry.**_

Yuri saved the screenshot of the text between Chris and Victor. He looked at it at the same time Khoudia snatched his phone.

 _ **Chris: Your baby**_  
 _ **Chris: Is** **amaaazing**_  
 _ **Victor: Yeah I know!**_  
 _ **Chris: So you're watching him skate then?**_  
 _ **Victor: He skates?**_  
 _ **Chris: Didn't he tell you?**_  
 _ **Victor: No?**_  
 _ **Chris: …Oh.**_  
 _ **Chris: Well, I'll leave you to that. I'm going to be stepping on soon.**_

"You got exposed," Khoudia said. "He just… #exposed you." Khoudia gave Yuri his phone back. "Are you going to talk to him again?" Yuri went to his messages with Khoudia.

 _ **: Well, he didn't do anything wrong.**_  
 _ **: /I/ was the one who didn't tell Victor sooner. I only have myself to blame.**_

"I mean, yeah, but…" Khoudia stopped talking. "I don't know what I was going to say. It's kind of your fault, but who could blame you? We're talking about–" Khoudia stopped talking again. "You know. Him. The Jupiter Conservator. The Sustainer. The Exalter."

 _ **: I know.**_

"I'd be hesitant to let him know I'm a figure skater, too, to be honest." Sophia tapped on the glass again. Her phone says three minutes. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Chris: So… wyd :*)**_  
 _ **: I'm going out to eat with some skaters.**_  
 _ **Chris: Ooh! Who's their coach?**_  
 _ **: Cialdini and Harcourt.**_  
 _ **Chris: Who's your coach?**_  
 _ **: Cialdini.**_  
 _ **Chris: Oh so you're with a rink mate then**_  
 _ **Chris: Don't tell me. I remember their name lmao**_

Yuri put his phone away. He doesn't want to have frost bitten fingers tonight. He'll text Chris back once he gets in the Uber. Sophia tapped on the glass; Khoudia looked back and told Yuri that it's two minutes away.

Sophia tapped again and made her way out of the lobby. She stood at Yuri's left side; Yuri was between the two now.

"Did you get the license plate?" Khoudia asked. Sophia showed Khoudia her phone. "Can we even _see_ the license plate? It's really dark right now."

"We can," Sophia said. "It should be pulling up right… now!" There was no car. Sophia walked to the end of the sidewalk and looked down the road. "Hold on. I swear this Uber is coming." After a few seconds, there was a pair of headlights coming down the street. "See! Told you!" Michael and Elizabeth stopped talking and looked at their rink mate. The Uber slowed to a stop and Sophia got in first. Yuri and Khoudia got in and Khoudia got in Yuri's lap.

"What are you doing?"

"We need enough space for Michael or Elizabeth," Khoudia said.

"I'm sitting up front," Michael said. "So there should be enough space for you _and_ Eliza." Michael walked around the car and got on the passenger's side. Elizabeth got in and there was enough room for Khoudia. She got out of Yuri's lap but not before Yuri removed his phone from his pocket. He _did_ tell himself he'd reply to Chris. He had made three guesses and none of them were right.

 _ **: It's Khoudia**_

Khoudia started to lean on Yuri and watch him text.

 _ **Chris: Oooh yeah you gave me her Instagram and I forgot to follow her.**_

"So that's what happened," she whispered. The driver asked for Sophia and she replied. He started the ride and pulled off.

 _ **Chris: How is she? Is she competing at the Cup?**_  
 _ **: She is and she's fine.**_  
 _ **Chris: Ooh, we should watch her skate tomorrow!**_  
 _ **: I was planning on doing that.**_  
 _ **Chris: I mean we should watch her together, cutie.**_

Yuri looked at his phone.

 _ **Chris: I'd finally get to meet you and we'd be doing something together**_  
 _ **: Where would we meet?**_  
 _ **Chris: Text me her dressing room. I'll meet you there.**_

"Khoudia, where's your dressing room?"

"Um, I don't know," she said. She looked at Yuri's texts. "Why can't you two meet somewhere else?" Yuri shrugged. "Meet outside of the stadium. Meet at your hotel room."

 _ **: Khoudia is against the idea of us**_ meeting at _ **her dressing room.**_  
 _ **Chris: Why?**_  
 _ **: I don't know. It's Khoudia.**_

"Rude," she said.

 _ **: She said that we can** **meet at** **my hotel room or outside of the stadium.**_  
 _ **Chris: Well, what's your room number?**_  
 _ **: 6B.**_  
 _ **Chris: Great. I'll stop by first thing in the morning to get breakfast with you.**_  
 _ **: Wait no do not do that.**_  
 _ **Chris: Why?**_

"Why'd you stop texting him?"

"How do I explain that –" Yuri stopped himself. "Take out your phone." Khoudia did as Yuri asked. He looked over at Elizabeth and Sophia – they were on Twitter.

 _ **: How do I tell him that you're staying in my room?**_

"Don't know. I never thought this would come up." Khoudia yawned. "The only person I foresaw this situation coming up with was Ciao Ciao and even _then_ I didn't give it too much thought. Just tell him you're having a sleepover."

 _ **: What if he wants to join the sleepover?**_

"You don't have the room to have more people at the sleepover."

"You two are having a sleepover?!" Sophia said. "I want to join!"

"You can't," Khoudia told her. "It's a two-person sleepover."

"So you can have a sleepover with him, but I can't?" Sophia seemed miffed by that.

"Exactly that," Khoudia said. Sophia rolled her eyes. "So yeah, you tell him that." Yuri unlocked his phone and looked at the last few messages. He couldn't believe that he was actually going to say this.

 _ **: Khoudia is staying in my room.**_  
 _ **Chris: Why?**_  
 _ **: We're having a sleepover.**_

Yuri tensed up when he saw the ellipses. Then they disappeared. He relaxed when they disappeared, but then they popped up again. Yuri closed his messages and put his phone to sleep so he would have the benefit of not seeing Chris' texts as soon as he unlocks his phone. His phone buzzed and Khoudia looked at his lock screen.

 _ **Chris: Is there a limit to how many people can be in attendance?**_

"I got this," Khoudia said. She held down Chris' text and responded. "Give me your lock screen thumb." Yuri gave his thumb to Khoudia and she placed it on the home button. "Thank you, ma raison."

"So how long have you two known each other?" Elizabeth asked. The driver made a sharp right. Yuri wasn't sure if that question was directed towards him or Khoudia.

But Khoudia answered for the both of them. "Three years."

"And you've been skating together for that long, I presume?" Khoudia nodded. "I've known Michael for about five years now. Soph is a rather new addition." Then it explained why Michael and Elizabeth didn't interact with Sophia much.

"How old are you again?" Khoudia asked.

"Twenty-four. Michael is younger than me." Elizabeth giggled. Yuri snapped his fingers when finally placed their accents: They're English. "How are your other rink mates? How's Camille?"

"Our other rink mates are fine."

"I'm presuming they're cheering you on from their sofas." Khoudia nodded. "That's lovely," Elizabeth said. "When is Camille coming back to the ice?" Elizabeth asked. "Her presence has been missed by the entire Western skating world."

"I'm sure it has," Khoudia said. It unsettled Yuri and Khoudia to hear Adé be referred to with female pronouns. That coach at the Bompard did it and now Elizabeth is doing it. "And I don't know. Camille will come back when they come back. It makes no sense to rush them." Yuri and Khoudia knew the reasons why Adé hasn't been itching to come back to skating.

"I know that we can't _rush_ her," Elizabeth said, "but it would be awfully nice if she could just tell people why she hasn't been competing." Elizabeth went to Instagram. "And I know she's alive. She just posted a picture of this table." Yuri and Khoudia looked at Elizabeth's phone. It was of Adé's makeshift altar – which, in reality, was just a table with a white tablecloth and a small statue on it. They didn't want to take up too much of their partner's apartment space with having a proper altar so they settled for something small and unassuming: hence the table with the white tablecloth. It seemed to suit Adé's needs in a way a better altar could. Yuri went to Adé's Instagram and looked at the caption. He smiled; no one would understand it, but it was imperative that Adé understood it the most.

#

 **(Friday, 27 November 2015 – 10:20pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Khoudia was already in bed, browsing Crunchyroll for an anime they can watch. Mentally, Yuri already decided on more of The Rose of Versailles, but he hadn't told Khoudia that. She yawned and wrinkled her face in an endearing way. "Sophia is telling us how we're unfair for not letting her come to the sleepover," Khoudia said.

"I feel bad for not letting her come along. She seemed so into what we were planning on doing tonight." Yuri did genuinely feel bad. She was giving them suggestions on things they can do together. She was very keen on Yuri and Khoudia doing each other's hair. Khoudia had texted Yuri about how Sophia probably perceived Khoudia's hair as not being "done" despite her hair being braided and her follicles snatched back to Dakar. Sophia also suggested that they do karaoke. Despite Sophia also implying that saying "Khoudia" – and "Khadijah" – was too difficult for her and Khoudia wanting to drag her by her thin hair, her suggestion made Khoudia laugh.

"If you're like this with a soft-eyed teenager you barely know, I hate to see how you are with Victor," Khoudia said. "Let's watch Madoka tonight."

"No, it's going to make you sad," Yuri said as he tugged his t-shirt on. "Let's just watch The Rose of Versailles."

"Is that going to make us sad?"

"Only after Episode 23," Yuri said. He climbed into bed and sat on the blankets. "What exactly did you tell Chris to get him to stop texting?"

"That it was an exclusive not-ISU sanctioned sleepover and that he can't come." Yuri deadpanned. "What? It's true. It's not sanctioned by the ISU; it's exclusive; he can't come."

"You do realize that you said that to my boyfriend's best friend. He's probably wildly texting Victor about this behavior and then Victor's going to hate me even more." Khoudia sucked her teeth and accompanied it with an eye roll.

"You do not know if Victor hates you," Khoudia said. "From what I know, you two are head-over-heels in love with each other and it would take something major to even get him to consider hating you forever."

"I was 'head-over-heels' in love with Olivia and now I curse the ground she walks on."

"No you don't," Khoudia said. Yuri got under the covers. "Why do you feel the need to lie to me? You still harbor sentimental feelings for her. If you hated her as much as you claim you do, you would be – I don't know – overcome with a different emotion rather than one of concern and dread." Khoudia looked over at Yuri with a smug, "I know I'm right" face. Yuri rolled his eyes. "And she still has feelings for you, I think, but that isn't the point. My point is, it would take a lot for you and Victor to absolutely hate each other. Hurt each other immensely? Yes. Outright despise each other? No." Khoudia reached her arms towards the ceiling. "Or you could be like _me_ and not love these hoes."

Yuri scrunched up his face. "Didn't you spend weeks crying over a girl who wasn't interested in being with you romantically?"

It was Khoudia's turn to deadpan. "Shut up, Yuri."

"Did I strike a nerve?" He asked sarcastically.

"You know you did," she said. "So, to end this conversation: Victor will not hate you. Now, are we watching The Rose of Versailles?" Yuri nodded.

 _ **Sophia: How's your sleepover?**_

Yuri took a picture of Khoudia's laptop. Crunchyroll was buffering.

 ** _Sophia: Idk what that is_**  
 ** _: Crunchyroll_**  
 ** _Sophia: Once again,_ _idk_ _what that is_**  
 ** _: Anime streaming website_**

Yuri showed his phone to Khoudia. She snickered.

 _ **Sophia: You and Khadijah watch anime?**_  
 _ **: That we do.**_

"Yuri, I don't think Crunchyroll is going to load tonight," Khoudia said. "I think too many people are using the Wi-Fi right now." She shrugged and closed her laptop. "I guess we can just go to sleep."

"I'm not tired, though," Yuri said. She got out of bed and put her laptop in her bag. "What do I do?"

"Go to bed anyway," Khoudia said as she got back in bed. She laid on her back and yawned. "See? Just lay down and go to sleep." She closed her eyes.

"It's not that easy for me," he complained. "I literally _can't_ sleep, though."

"Well, why can't you?"

"I don't know." He laid on his back and clasped his hands together. "It feels like I snorted cocaine with lesbians." Khoudia rolled onto her side and looked at Yuri.

"What?" Her face was all scrunched up. Yuri playfully tapped her nose.

"Was that too real of an analogy?" Yuri scratched his face. "Okay, how about the gas pedal of my brain being stuck?"

"Go to bed," she said, already tired of this conversation. She closed her eyes again and put her hand between the pillows. After a few minutes, Khoudia was sound asleep. Yuri briefly flirted with the idea of waking Khoudia up so he'd have someone to talk to, but decided against that. She can be ugly when woken up out of a nice sleep.

While Khoudia was in her peaceful sleep, Yuri remained wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: This was twenty-five pages and I'm sorry.


	61. Chapter 61

Ryuugazaki: I had to ask Rei how to eat soup and now I want to lead an anti-soup campaign because I don't understand it.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-One  
 **(Saturday, 28 November 2015 – 6:12pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Khoudia skated fantastically today. Yuri was with Chris when he was watching her skate and he was blown away. In that moment, earlier today, he was so proud of his friend for being so amazing. As soon as he was able to get Khoudia alone, he picked her up and spun her around and let her know how proud he was. Chris was amazed, too. He was also very cordial to Khoudia when he met her.

But this time it was Khoudia's turn to be amazed and proud. Yuri was getting ready for his free skate tonight. Chris had since split up with Yuri to get ready for his own performance tonight. Yuri and Khoudia had seen Michael earlier, but he didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. He was with Elizabeth and Sophia. Sophia wanted to talk to Yuri and Khoudia, but Sophia's desire to keep up with Michael and Elizabeth outweighed her desire to talk to Yuri and Khoudia.

"Khoudia," Yuri said.

"Yeah?"

"Do I have to skate tonight?" Yuri put on his bottoms. "I don't want to do this."

"You're already here and you're already dressed," Khoudia said as she passed Yuri his top. "So you might as well." Yuri sighed. "You'll be fine tonight. I know you will." Khoudia patted Yuri's back. "The voices have stopped and you're not overwhelmed. You'll be fine." Khoudia stroked Yuri's face and took a good look at him. His top was a bit crooked. She fixed it for him.

"And you're certain that I'll be fine?"

"Of course. I wouldn't tell you this if I wasn't sure." Khoudia cracked her knuckles. "Come here," she said. Yuri sat down and Khoudia stood behind him. Coach Cialdini was watching them like a hawk again, making sure that there weren't any antics. One would think that he would be less tense today since Yuri and Khoudia have been behaving themselves since they've arrived, but he isn't. He's as vigilant as ever tonight. Khoudia gelled Yuri's hair with the gel she disapproved of. "Do you want me to do your eyeliner, too?" Yuri nodded as Khoudia finished up. The comb broke. She held it in front of his eyes. "This is what your hair did."

"Nice," Yuri said. Khoudia put the broken comb in the garbage and wiped her hands. She reached for the eyeliner and uncapped it. Khoudia turned Yuri's chair around and sat in the chair next to his. She pulled her chair closer to his and started to work. "Khoudia?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you _sure_ that I have to skate tonight?"

"You have to," Coach Cialdini said. "You're already here and you're not going to embarrass me tonight."

"But I _really_ do not want to do this tonight," he complained.

"You have to," Khoudia said. "Like I said, you're already here and you're already dressed. You might as well." Khoudia's mouth hung slightly ajar as she applied his eyeliner. "It won't be so bad. You'll be on the ice for four minutes and thirty seconds – forty seconds tops – and that's hardly any time."

"I know _that_ , but it is deeply unsettling to even think about being on ice right now." Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Don't roll your eyes when you're supposed to be doing my makeup." She sucked her teeth. She switched to the other eye. "Are you done with my right eye?" Khoudia nodded. Yuri wanted to roll his neck, but he also didn't want to get accidentally stabbed in the eye with an eyeliner pen so he restrained himself. Khoudia stopped applying it and yawned. "I'm kind of tired, too."

"Well, I told you to go to bed," Khoudia said. "You wouldn't listen."

"And I told you that I couldn't sleep."

"How hard is it to just go to sleep?!" Khoudia said as she resumed the application. "You close your eyes and calm your soul and you just sleep!"

"'Calm your soul,'" Yuri mocked.

"Shut up," Khoudia said. She briefly went back to the left eye to define the wing. "I can't be sure that your wings won't look weird so I'm going to tell you right now that your wings might look weird." Yuri shrugged.

"I wish Guang Hong was here so he could do my eyeliner," Yuri mused.

"Well, he isn't here and I'm the best you've got." Khoudia went back to the right eye. "But I do wish that Adeola was here so she could do your makeup, though."

"Would Adeola even be willing to do my makeup?" Yuri questioned. Khoudia shook her head. "That's what I thought." Khoudia put the side of her hand on Yuri's forehead and tried to fix the wing of his left eye. She was painfully monodextrous when it comes to fine motor skills which is why she didn't try to use her left hand. "You should learn how to do makeup with your left hand," Yuri suggested.

"I can't even write with my left hand," Khoudia said. "What makes you think I can do makeup with it?"

"The way you have your arm positioned makes me think that learning how to do things with your left hand would make this easier for you." Yuri looked up at Khoudia's hand on his forehead. "Next you're going to have to get on a chair to do my makeup, aren't you?"

"No," she said, "I can work from here." Khoudia capped the eyeliner and grabbed the mascara. She started with Yuri's right eye. "I'm almost done. You'll be able to warm up in a bit." Then she switched to Yuri's left. Her hand was on his forehead again, trying to maneuver.

"Do you need me to do my left eye?"

"I can do it by myself."

"No you can't," Yuri said. He took the wand from her and did his left eye. "Wasn't that much easier?" He asked. Khoudia was making a face. "I'm going to warm up now." Yuri gave Khoudia the wand back and got up. He stretched his arms and bent over. Khoudia put Yuri's makeup away.

"Do you need help stretching?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded. Khoudia went to help Yuri stretch and warm up and she helped him until it was time for him to go on.

#

 **(Saturday, 28 November 2015 – 8:45pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri cried a lot tonight. He cried once he stepped off the ice; he cried when he got his score; he cried when he received his medal. Chris gave him a hug once they got off the podium. He said that Victor is very proud of him and that he should text him immediately. Khoudia was raving about how their rink mates – and Olivia – are oh so amazed by Yuri's performance. Sophia, Elizabeth, and Khoudia were waiting by the dressing rooms again. They were going out to eat tonight. Elizabeth, Khoudia, and Sophia agreed on TGI Friday's. Yuri and Michael didn't even think that there would be a TGI Friday's in Moscow.

"We have to take our equipment back, though," Michael said. "Also, are we taking an Uber there?" Michael was already out of his costume, but he was still toting his equipment around. Yuri unzipped his sports jacket and Khoudia held Yuri's shirt out for him.

"Do you need us to leave?" Elizabeth asked.

"That would be nice," Khoudia said. She ushered Sophia, Elizabeth, and Michael out of Yuri's dressing room and closed the door behind them.

"Wait, Khadijah!" Sophia yelled. Khoudia opened the door again. "Why do you get to stay with Yuri when he changes and we can't?" Khoudia shut the door in her face. "Rude!" She yelled from the other side of the door.

"Nineteen-year-olds are so precious," Khoudia said. Yuri couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic. "I can't wait until new skaters join us. We'll have more young blood around."

"Now, when you say 'precious'…," Yuri said. There was a knock at the door.

"Khadijah, answer my question!" Sophia yelled from the other side of the door. Khoudia giggled and locked the door. "Why do you get to stay and we can't?!" Yuri put on his top and took off his shoes. Khoudia passed Yuri his pants as he struggled to take off his bottoms. "Khadijah, answer me!"

"No, honey," she sweetly said.

"Come on. This isn't fair!"

"It's totally fair," Khoudia said. "I get to stay and you can't." Yuri finally got his costume bottoms off and took his pants from Khoudia. Khoudia picked up his costume and folded them.

"You know that that answer was terrible, right?" He stood up from his seat and pulled his pants up. He walked over to his shoes and struggled to put them on. "You know damn well that she is not going to accept that answer."

"I don't know what you want me to say," she scoffed. "I get to stay and she doesn't." Yuri got his feet in his shoes and walked over to Khoudia. He bent down so that he was at eye level.

"How do you know that I want you to stay?" He said.

"What? Are you going to tell me that you want me gone?" Khoudia sounded affronted. Yuri chuckled. "That's what I thought. You know you don't want me gone." Yuri straightened up and stretched.

"Short people have the nastiest attitudes," Yuri said. He sat down and made sure his feet were snug in his shoes. He looked down at them and looked at his shoelaces. "I know this is probably laughable, but can you tie my shoes?"

"After all that shit you were talking?"

"Yes, even after all the shit I was talking," Yuri said. Khoudia sucked her teeth and looked at Yuri's shoes. "Come on," Yuri goaded. "Please. You know I love you." Yuri grabbed Khoudia's face.

"You have a boyfriend; I'm going to tell." Yuri laughed. "I'll tie your shoes, Jesus Christ," she said. She knelt down in front of Yuri. "Give me your feet." Yuri gave her his right foot. "You know what I'm thinking of right now?" Khoudia asked.

"What?"

"'The best of those who sin are those who repent,'" she said as she tied his shoe.

"You've been listening to Muslim podcasts, haven't you?"

"Mm, no," she said. "I've just been thinking about that. I remember hearing that when I was like thirteen at mosque and I've thought about that since." Khoudia finished tying Yuri's right shoe. She switched to the left. "I remember who told me that. It was Auntie Aafira. She was new and didn't speak much English. It was kind of difficult to understand because it's been years since I've spoken Wolof and she spoke too fast for my pubescent ears to catch." Khoudia finished tying Yuri's left shoe. "She also told me that I wasn't fat enough and that I looked like a child, but that's another story." Khoudia got off of her knees and stretched her legs. She passed Yuri his jacket as she spun. She walked over to the door and opened it so Michael, Elizabeth, and Sophia can get their coats. Yuri stood behind Khoudia and patted her head. He also winked at Sophia as he did it. She seemed to be falling apart. Yuri went to put his costume in his bag and took their coats off of the hooks. Khoudia took the hat out of her sleeve and put her coat on. Yuri put on his hat and coat.

Once Michael, Elizabeth, and Sophia got themselves situated, they left the rink. Michael was talking to Elizabeth and Sophia was incensed about something. The walk to the hotel seemed to be quicker than yesterday's.

When Yuri got to his room, he sat down and briefly scrolled through his messages. He started with Adé.

 _ **Adé: You know how Oedipus married his mom?**_  
 _ **Adé: I'd marry you. Gay Oedipus.**_

Yuri looked at his son's messages and cringed. He could see what Adé was trying to say, but he also found it to be absolutely mind-blowing. So he hit him with an "I feel like you're missing several key details that could make or break your analogy." Adé sent Yuri eye roll emojis and asked if he could just take the praise they are trying to shower him with. Yuri rolled his eyes and went to Olivia's messages.

 _ **Olivia: Congrats on your gold medal, baby.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Send me a picture of it.**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Olivia: ((heart eyes emoji))**_  
 _ **Olivia: I can't wait to see you on Tuesday.**_

Yuri read Olivia's text and went to Tal'at's texts.

 ** _Tal'at: Masabeeh won't stop crying._**  
 ** _Tal'at: Tell her to stop crying._**  
 ** _: Tell her that I'll buy her ice cream if she stops crying._**  
 ** _Tal'at: That sounds like it won't work at all but okay daddy-o I'm ah try that_**

Then Yuri went to Phichit's texts.

 ** _Phichit: Okay so I'm gonna run out and buy some wine for tonight_**  
 ** _Phichit: Pray that I don't get carded lmao_**  
 ** _Phichit: [has sent an attachment]_**  
 ** _Phichit: Start praying_**  
 ** _Phichit: Okay so I got the wine_**  
 ** _Phichit: And I didn't get carded_**  
 ** _Phichit: what the fuck_**  
 ** _Phichit: [has sent an attachment]_**  
 ** _Phichit: I drank a lot of wine and it's really hard to text_**  
 ** _Phichit: But I am so broud of you. I'm gonna go sleepy time now xx zzz_**

Yuri looked at the picture of boxed wine and of Phichit's face. His eyes were crinkled at the corner – either in joy or in confusion about what just happened. Then he reread Phichit's final two texts. He's a very coherent drunk.

Khoudia knocked on his door. "Yuri? You ready?" Yuri opened his door. Khoudia had changed clothes. "Let's go." She grabbed on to Yuri's free arm and walked. Yuri was still checking his messages. He had a text from Victor – after what seemed like forever.

 _ **Victor: Congrats on your gold. Your performance was very nice tonight.**_  
 _ **: Thank you ((heart emojis))**_  
 _ **Victor: I hope you skate like that at the Grand Prix.**_

In that moment, it felt like Yuri's still beating heart was ripped out of his chest. It's not so much that Yuri _forgot_ that he was going to be at the Grand Prix, but it's more that he didn't want to _remember_ that Victor was going to be at the Grand Prix. He felt stupid right there – Victor had been going to the Grand Prix for years now. He was _expected_ to be there. Yuri, though? He was still an up-and-coming figure skater with only regional events under his belt.

 _ **: The Grand Prix?**_  
 _ **Victor: Yes**_  
 _ **Victor: You know, the event you've been skating in preparation for the entire time**_  
 _ **Victor: The reason you're at the Rostelecom Cup**_  
 _ **: Right, right.**_

The elevator came. Khoudia and Yuri got on. She was looking at him text, but she took a break to press the button to the ground floor. "You're a mess sometimes, Yuri," Khoudia said. "Did you genuinely forget why you're here?"

"Kind of," Yuri said. "I don't really skate with an end goal in mind; I skate for the love of it. I would be skating even if I wasn't competing." Khoudia nodded. "It's the same thing with ballet. I would dance even if I was told that I could never do it professionally."

"If you didn't skate, would you still be dancing?" Khoudia asked and looked up at Yuri. He nodded. "Maybe you'd be the principal ballerina in a company." She giggled. "Maybe you'd still be in Japan and one day I'd come to watch a performance. I'd be front row and we'd make eye contact and I'd get to go and meet you."

"It seems like you've given this thought," Yuri said.

 _ **Victor: Did you forget that you're skating to go to the Grand Prix?**_  
 _ **: Kind of. I've been thinking of a lot of things recently so that's kind of taken the back stove eye.**_  
 _ **: But thank you for reminding me that I'm actually going to the Grand Prix.**_

"I have! I love thinking of AU situations!" The woman who got on looked at Khoudia. "In another AU, we're all bandmates in an indie band! You play the drums and I'm the lead singer! Adé is our sound guy and Phichit plays the guitar!"

"But Phichit doesn't know how to play the guitar," Yuri pointed out.

"I haven't decided if Phichit plays the guitar _badly_ or if he just knows how to play it in this universe." Khoudia rubbed her nose. "But I can tell you that if Phichit plays the guitar badly, everyone on SoundCloud would eat it up and praise him for his avant-garde style."

"Why am I the drummer?"

"I don't know. You seem like a drums kind of guy in my mind." Yuri sucked his teeth and it didn't come out right. "That's what you get for questioning my AUs." Yuri chuckled. The elevator reached the ground floor; they got off. "And Masabeeh and Tal'at are two groupies of ours! They let us drop on their sofa when we practice at their place!" Yuri smiled. "We all eat Chinese food together and it's like what we do now!" They stood by the door. Khoudia's eyes were shining. In that moment, Yuri thought she looked beautiful. "Yuri," she said.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we're going to the Grand Prix together," she said. "And it's both of our first times, too." She smiled. "What should we do when we go to the Grand Prix?" She asked. Then she gasped. "We should get macarons!" A woman at the desk looked at Khoudia. "Tell me that we can get macarons when we get to Marseilles!"

"Do they even sell them in Marseilles?"

"It'd be really dumb if we were in France and they didn't sell macarons," Khoudia said. Out of the corner of Yuri's eye, he spotted Michael, Elizabeth, and Sophia. "So, as soon as we drop off our bags, we're going macaron hunting."

"Will they even be open when we get there?" He noticed that Coach Harcourt's skaters stopped walking; they seemed to be discussing something. "You know most of the shops will be closed by the time we get there, right?" Yuri looked at Khoudia. She seemed irked.

"Fine then," she said, "we'll go first thing the day after we land."

"No breakfast?"

"We can get breakfast after." Coach Harcourt's skaters finally approached Khoudia and Yuri.

"Are you ready to go?" Sophia asked. Yuri and Khoudia nodded. "This time we're waiting _inside_ ," she said.

"Who's getting the Uber?" Khoudia asked. "Are we walking?"

"We can walk," Elizabeth said. "You two aren't opposed to walking to TGI Friday's, are you?" Yuri and Khoudia shook their heads. "Great, so we're walking!"

"You didn't consult _me_ about walking, Eliza," Sophia said.

"Why do I have to consult you? You're coming along no matter what we do," Elizabeth said. Sophia rolled her eyes. "So, we're all walking. Onward and upward!" Elizabeth grabbed Michael's wrist and pointed to the ceiling, posing triumphantly. Khoudia held on to Yuri's arm tighter. Sophia looked like the odd one out, not holding on to anyone. She seemed to retreat into her coat – and herself – by the time the group stepped outside of the hotel.

 _ **Olivia: So wyd, baby?**_  
 _ **: I'm going out to eat with Khoudia and some skaters.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Take a picture of Khoudia for me.**_

"Khoudia," Yuri said. She looked up at him. "Smile for me." She smiled and Yuri took a flick.

"What was that for?" Khoudia asked. "If it's for Olivia, don't send her that."

"Then what do I send her?"

"Hold on," she said. She took out her phone and sent Yuri several flicks. "Send her one of those. I look good in those." Yuri rolled his eyes and chuckled. He looked through the selfies.

"Did you take all of these today?"

"Mm-hm," she said. "I thought I looked cute so I had to immortalize it." Yuri smiled. "Don't you think I look cute?"

"I always think you look cute," Yuri said. Khoudia giggled. He lightly stroked the underside of her chin. Sophia was looking on at them. "Fix your coat." Khoudia's coat wasn't completely zipped at the top. Yuri struggled to zip it with two fingers so he left that for Khoudia to do.

The walk to TGI Friday's felt like it was shorter than it was predicted to be. They were seated relatively quickly and received their menus. Then the confusion set in.

"What?" Yuri said, looking at Elizabeth, Michael, and Sophia. He looked at the menu and took out his phone.

"We can't read the menu," Michael said.

"Didn't you notice us using Google Translate last night?" Khoudia asked. She flipped through the menu. Coach Harcourt's skaters looked dumbfounded. "Don't you have Google Translate on your phone?"

"We live in England. Why would we need Google Translate?" Sophia asked.

"Because," Khoudia said, "how else will you read the signs that aren't in English?"

"We don't," Elizabeth said. "We just don't read the signs." Yuri looked at the menu and turned the page. "We're subjects of the empire where the sun never sets. The fuck do we need to use Google Translate for?"

"How elitist are you?" Khoudia whispered. She saw something on the menu that she liked. She went to Google Translate and translated it. Then she went to the online menu. She found it on there and decided that she wanted to try it. "Look, y'all can sit there and look dumb all you want, but I know that this is a non-problem. Just use Google Translate and get your head out of your asses." Coach Harcourt's skaters looked at Khoudia like she was spouting several different heads that spoke their most shameful sins. "Baby, did you decide on what you want yet?" She asked Yuri.

"No, not yet," Yuri said as he turned the page of his menu. "These burgers look great though."

"I know, right?" She said. "I think I already know what I want."

 _ **: So you're just going to ignore Coach Harcourt's skaters?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: As you say… ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**_  
 _ **: You're messy lol**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I know lmao**_

"Show me what you're getting," Yuri said. Khoudia pointed it out on her menu. He whistled. "Looks good."

"I hope it's good," said she. "The Italian one looks really good, too." She smiled. "You should get the Italian one. Just saying." Khoudia put down her menu and grabbed her phone. "If I didn't think I'd go into shock eating it _and_ the Jack Daniels burger, I'd eat them both."

"I believe you." Khoudia giggled.

"So just download Google Translate?" Sophia asked.

"Or go to their website. Their menu is on there." Khoudia unlocked her phone.

 _ **Khoudia: They probably all think I'm the aggressive black girl now lol**_  
 _ **: Didn't they always think of you like that?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**_  
 _ **: Dude smdh**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Lmao**_

Yuri looked at his messages. He's been avoiding them.

 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Olivia: Myyy ((heart eyes emojis))**_  
 _ **Olivia: She's gotten so beautiful**_  
 _ **Olivia: Her cheeks have gotten so fat**_  
 _ **Olivia: I love them**_  
 _ **Olivia: Tell her to call me ASAP**_

Yuri showed his phone to Khoudia. She smirked in satisfaction and flipped her loose braids. "Keep texting her," Khoudia said.

"Will do," Yuri said. "But you're not going to call her." That came out as less of a question and more of a statement.

"You think I'm actually going to call her?" Khoudia asked.

"Well, no," Yuri said, "I don't think you will, truth be told."

"Exactly," she said. "I'm not going to call her. Fuck I look like calling her?" She scoffed. She pulled her loose braids back and tucked them into the scarf she had around her braids. Yuri looked at Coach Harcourt's skaters. In his mind, they seemed to be like toddlers learning to walk, feeling their way around the environment. They were making a variety of confused faces.

"Eliza, does this look good to you?" Sophia asked, pointing to something on her phone.

"I'd eat it," Elizabeth said. Then she passed the question to Michael. "What about you?"

"Only if they didn't add peppers to it," Michael said.

"That's disrespectful to peppers," Sophia said. "I know you hate peppers, but you're missing out." Michael shrugged and looked at his phone. "They're so good." Michael shrugged. "You're going to ask for your burger to not have peppers, aren't you?" He shrugged again.

The waitress came and took their order. Yuri and Khoudia didn't think that Coach Harcourt's skaters were ready to order, but they surprisingly were. They all ordered their meal and ate, making conversation amongst each other.

#

 **(Saturday, 28 November 2015 – 10:20pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri insisted that Khoudia sleep in her own room tonight. He told her that he was feeling fine tonight and that he didn't need her to stay with him anymore. He would miss their sleepovers and he considered that he might actually want her there, but he decided that it was for the best. Khoudia needed to sleep in her room and Yuri needed to process the looks that Sophia was giving him. He needed to consult his journal and he couldn't do that properly with Khoudia nagging him to go to bed.

"Yuri?" Khoudia knocked on his door. "Are you in bed yet?"

"Not yet," he said as he closed his journal. He walked to his door and opened it. "I'm right here."

"Oh, good," she said. "Remember to take your medicine and go to bed." Yuri nodded. "Sleep well. Text me if you need me!" Yuri nodded again. She gave Yuri a hug and reached up to touch his head. "I'm being serious. If you need me _at all_ , just text me."

"I'll text you if I need you. I promise."

"Good. Goodnight, ma raison," she said and turned to go back to her room. Yuri stood there, looking at her closed door. Once he snapped himself out of his daze, he went back into his own room and returned to his journal. His journal was filling out nicely, he thought. He had so much to tell it about the past few days.

 _ **Victor: So wyd?**_  
 _ **: Journaling.**_  
 _ **Victor: Aren't you having a sleepover?**_  
 _ **: I told Khoudia to sleep in her room tonight.**_  
 _ **Victor: Oh good. I can call you now.**_

Yuri's phone rang and he picked up. "Nothing stopped you from calling me," Yuri said. He didn't let Victor get in a "hello" or a "how are you?" before he started talking.

"Khoudia's presence stopped me from calling," Victor said. "I didn't want to come between you two."

"How could you come between us? You're not even here." Yuri closed his journal. He decided to put it away. He was done writing tonight.

"I didn't want to make you choose between enjoying her and talking to me." Yuri got a notification telling him that his battery was low. He internally panicked.

"Hold on, let me call you back," Yuri said.

"Why? We just started talking."

"I know, but my phone is about to die and I need to charge it," Yuri told him. "I'll call you back, though."

"Okay," Victor said, sounding slightly annoyed. Yuri ended the call and connected his phone to his charger. He got his laptop, made sure it was plugged up, and logged in. He took deep breaths and went to FaceTime. He called Victor.

"Hey," Yuri said.

"You actually called back," Victor said.

"I told you that I would." Yuri shifted in his seat and looked at Victor. He was sitting somewhere. "You could've called me sooner."

"I could have," Victor said. "So, how was your day after you skated?" Victor was looking at everyone and everything but Yuri. "Did you do anything?"

"I went out to eat with Khoudia and some other skaters." Yuri picked up a pen off of the floor. "Did you know that there's a TGI Friday's in Moscow? Because I didn't know that until tonight. And the food options were really good. I don't know what I expected, but I enjoyed it and –"

"You're rambling," Victor said. Yuri blinked. "Why are you rambling?"

"I have no clue," Yuri said. He tossed the pen into the air and aspired to catch it; it landed behind the desk. There goes Yuri's stimming object. "I… I really have no clue." Yuri leaned his chair back so that it was on the back two legs. He started to tap his knuckles on the table. "I don't know what's going on with me." He yawned. "But how are you? What have you been up to?"

"Training and reading," Victor said. "And thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Yuri asked. He rolled his eyes up at the ceiling. There was silence. "I'm not going to get an answer, am I?"

"No," Victor said.

"Fair enough," Yuri said. He set all four chair legs back on the floor and put his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I am not. I mean, I don't think I am." He wasn't hearing any voices tonight, but he felt – for a lack of a better word – off. "I don't know. Ignore me." Yuri leaned back in his chair and steadied it on two legs. He closed his eyes and focused on the sounds. He could hear a car outside.

"Have you been sleeping?" Victor asked.

"I can't sleep." Yuri opened his eyes and looked at Victor. He was looking at him intently. He made a gesture signifying that he should continue. "I haven't slept properly since Thursday." If he could spin a four-legged chair, he would have spun until the spinning made him exhausted. He would have spun and ascended and this out-of-his-head feeling would be more than welcome; it would have been fitting.

But it wasn't fitting this time.

He felt like his head was going 90 MPH and like he was – in plain terms – somewhere else. That speed and his removedness from everything was causing his inability to sleep. He rationalized that once that thing ended, he would be able to feel normal again.

"You need to sleep," Victor said.

"I _know_ ," Yuri said. "Khoudia's been nagging me nonstop to go to bed – "Yuri, go to bed" and "Yuri, go the fuck to sleep" and "why the hell aren't you asleep?!" – but I really can't sleep no matter how much she chastises me. I don't know what's going on." The chair landed on all four legs and startled Yuri. "I should call her in here. Maybe she'd make sleeping easier."

"Will she?" Victor asked. He was majorly questioning Yuri's statement.

Yuri chuckled. "You're right. I don't know why I thought that she would." He shrugged and got up. "I'm going to start drawing."

"And I'm going to watch." Yuri grabbed the strap of his carry on bag with his toes like he's seen Adé do and pulled it towards him. Adé seemed to have prehensile feet; they were able to do simple yet fascinating things with their toes. He took his sketchbook out of his bag and opened it to a fresh page. He knew exactly what he wanted to draw tonight and how he wanted to draw it and he was sure that he had the required skillset to make it happen.

He started off strong and maintained that ecstasy and vigor throughout. Yuri didn't stop drawing until he was done. Victor had watched him the entire time, enraptured in the art making art. But Yuri wasn't done; he wanted to do more. So much more. He didn't have access to his full creative arsenal so what he _could_ do was limited in scope, but Yuri had ideas. None of them were ideas that Phichit would approve of, but they were ideas.

"Are you going to draw some more?"

"Drawing isn't cutting it," Yuri said. He played with the spirals that kept his sketchbook bound. He grabbed his pencil and wrote Khoudia's name on a blank sheet. He was planning on drawing her once he gets off of FaceTime with Victor. Yuri tilted his chair back so that it was on its back legs.

"Why do you keep doing that?" He was referring to leaning back in his chair. "You've already fallen once."

"Is that considered falling?" Yuri asked.

"You could have fallen," Victor said.

"But I didn't," he said. Yuri closed his eyes and tilted his chair further back.

"Yuri, stop doing that," Victor said. He stopped immediately. "I should let you get to bed. You're acting weird and you need to sleep."

"Am I?" Yuri asked. Victor was uncomfortably silent. It bothered Yuri immensely. "Did you listen to the song?" He asked, remembering that he told Victor to listen to it.

"No, I didn't," he said, "but what does that have to do with you going to bed?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to know if you listened to the song." Yuri drew his right knee to his chest. "I know now that you didn't."

"So you're going to bed now." Yuri laughed heartily. "I'm being serious."

"I know you are," he said once he was able to calm himself. "But you seem to be of the idea that I'm actually going to go to sleep."

"Well, aren't you?"

"I don't know what's hard to comprehend about the statement 'I can't sleep,'" Yuri said. "I really can't sleep and I don't know what's preventing me from doing so." Yuri internally rolled his eyes at the last part of his statement. He knows why; he needs to stop.

"Can you just try to sleep? For me?" Victor was pleading. Yuri looked at Victor's soft features and felt himself soften in the process. Somehow, everything fell still. He still felt like his mind was going 90 MPH, but his soul felt still. "Will you?"

Yuri took a deep breath and said, "I'll try." He briefly looked at his fingertips. He'd have to get lost in his fingerprints later. "I suppose I'll let you go now."

"I should be saying that to you," Victor said. "I'll text you." Yuri nodded. He ended the call and looked at his bed. He didn't think "just going to sleep" would work, but he decided to just try.

 _ **Victor: I wasn't done talking.**_  
 _ **: Whoops ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯**_  
 _ **: Do you want me to call you back?**_  
 _ **Victor: No, go to bed.**_  
 _ **Victor: Don't even read my texts. Just go to bed.**_

Yuri rolled his eyes at Victor's nagging. He told him that he was going to go to bed so he decided that he would. Yuri was already in his pajamas and he was already dreadfully exhausted.

When Yuri decided to go to bed, it was already close to1AM. He got his pen from behind the desk and placed it parallel to his laptop. He got in bed and looked up at his ceiling. The ceiling was the same color as yesterday.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I don't know if I'm going to be posting next week because Thanksgiving, but I hope y'all have a nice Thanksgiving anyway!


	62. Chapter 62

Ryuugazaki: I just want to let y'all know a few things:

\- This is 41 pages in Word and I want to apologize.

\- I do not celebrate Thanksgiving because of several reasons, but I hope y'all have a nice Thanksgiving with good, seasoned food. And, if you're going over to family's house, I hope you don't have to deal with that racist relative who's a borderline alcoholic.

\- Because I might forget to say it later, I hope your midterms and finals go well and you don't have to work too hard to boost your grades.

\- You're getting this _now_ because I'm going to be busy out the ass on Saturday so have an early chapter.

\- Umaljumal, I see your opinion and I respect it.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Two  
 **(Sunday, 29 November 2015 – 7:55am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri didn't totally sleep through the night. He got roughly three hours of sleep and he's been up since 3:37AM. Once he woke up, he didn't even consider going back to sleep; instead, he decided to draw Khoudia like he told himself. He was finished with it, but he didn't know what he wanted to do with it now. He had the idea that he could frame it and give it to her for American Christmas, but Khoudia doesn't celebrate Christmas and he likes it too much to give it to her and face never seeing it again. Yuri had more than enough time to decide on if he was going to actually give it to her. Right now, he decided that he wasn't going to tell her about it and keep this work of art to himself.

There was a knock at his door. Yuri wondered who it could be, but mentally kicked himself for thinking that. He already knew who it could be. He got up and opened the door.

"Ndéwénati!" Khoudia yelled as soon as the door was open. She pounced on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Yuri held her and carried her to his bed. She bounced when she landed. "Good morning! An do siina kurumba!" Khoudia rolled onto her stomach and grinned. "Joyeux anniversaire, ma raison," she said with a normal tone of voice. "I hope you have many more."

"Did you take your shower yet?" Yuri asked as he sat on his floor.

"Not yet," she said, freeing her braids. She grabbed Yuri's pillow and held it to her chest. "How'd you sleep? Did you sleep?"

"I slept terribly," Yuri said; she grinned. She was glad that he was able to get some shut-eye. "What about you?" Khoudia looked down from her perch on the bed and smiled.

"It was different not being in here," she said.

"Surely it couldn't have been. You were only in here for two days." Yuri pointed out.

"I know, but I got used to it so quickly." Khoudia yawned and her nose crinkled. "We should have a sleepover when we go to Marseille." She smiled. "But first, the Birthday Boy should get breakfast." She yawned again. "I'll leave you to get ready." She got off of the bed and stretched towards the ceiling. "Wait, I should sing 'happy birthday' to you!" Khoudia cleared her throat and Yuri got up to stop her.

"You don't need to. I'm too old for that."

"But it's your birthday. You're only twenty-three once."

"I mean, not necessarily," Yuri said. "I look young. I can pass for twenty-three for several more years before my age starts to show." Khoudia sighed.

"Fine, I won't sing it, but we're celebrating. Somehow." Khoudia gave Yuri a hug and gamboled out the way she came in. Yuri laid on the floor and rubbed his eyes. Then he yawned. He'd sleep if he could, but he was going to breakfast soon.

Yuri jumped in the shower and bathed. He felt so much better feeling hot water and soap on his skin. If showers could cure hypomania, Yuri would be cured and he wouldn't have to bother with telling Luzia about all of this. But Luzia was probably going to therapist-panic and call in Noêmia then she would therapist-panic with her and then they would formulate an attack strategy. Yuri didn't want them to formulate an attack strategy; he just wants this to be over.

Yuri got out of the shower and dried off in the steamy bathroom. He dressed quickly and sat at his desk, waiting for Khoudia to text him. Yuri was playing Candy Crush when Khoudia tried to open his door. He got up and answered it.

"Ready?" Khoudia's hair was tucked into her still open coat. Yuri put on his shoes and coat and they walked to the elevator. Khoudia pushed the down button. "Alright Birthday Boy, where should we go to eat?" She asked as she zipped up her coat and put on her gloves.

"We can go to the hotel's café," Yuri suggested. Khoudia looked up at him. She was looking equally shocked and disappointed both because of his answer and _not_ because of his answer.

"The hotel has a café?" Yuri nodded. "Why haven't we gone there sooner?" Yuri shrugged. "Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I thought you knew," he said. She sighed and put her head on his chest. "If you have a place in mind, we can go there instead."

"No, no," Khoudia said. "If the Birthday Boy wants to go to the hotel café, we'll go to the hotel café." The elevator came and they got on. Khoudia pressed the button for the ground floor.

"Hey there, you two," Chris' voice said. Khoudia and Yuri looked behind themselves. "Didn't expect to catch you two here." Chris was smiling. "Out to breakfast?"

"We are," Khoudia said. "I'm presuming that you are, too." Chris nodded. Khoudia moved closer to Yuri, clutching his arm. Chris smiled at her.

"Where are you going for breakfast?" Chris asked, moving to stroke Yuri's cheek. Yuri felt his face warm; he looked away from Chris.

"We're going to the hotel café," Khoudia told him.

"Don't go there. Their pancakes are terrible," Chris said. "Why don't you two come with me? We can have a nice breakfast together." Chris was beaming.

"What do you want to do, Yuri?" Khoudia asked. Her voice was low. "Do you want to go?"

"Why are you asking me like you're not going with me?" Yuri asked her.

Khoudia sucked her teeth. "He's _your_ friend. I don't know if you want to be with him when I'm here." She took out her phone to give herself something to do. "I can leave if you want me to."

"He extended the invitation to the both of us, Khoudia," Yuri said. "We're both going." Yuri started to play with his fingers. "Breakfast would be nice, Christophe." Chris smiled at Yuri and Khoudia and threw his arms around the two of them.

"I'm so glad you two are coming to breakfast with me!" Chris let go of them and zipped up his coat. "You two are so cute, it'd be a shame if I let an opportunity for a nice sit-down slide past me." Yuri didn't look at Chris. "Yuri," Chris cajoled, "why aren't you looking me in the eye?"

"I don't look people in the eye, Christophe," Yuri muttered. He inched closer to Khoudia. Chris arched an eyebrow briefly, but then smiled.

"Didn't I tell you that you don't have to call me 'Christophe'? Just call me 'Chris,' honey." The elevator stopped at the third floor. One of the female skaters got on. Yuri recently followed her on Instagram; if his memory serves him correctly, her name was Melissa and she posted a lot about her Welsh Corgi.

"Alright, Chris," Yuri said. Yuri looked him square in the nose. That was as close as Chris is going to get eye contact from Yuri.

"Ah, there we go," Chris said. He smiled and stroked Yuri's cheek. He took a deep breath and started thinking of sutras. He wasn't going to let Chris unnerve him today; he was going to go out to breakfast with Chris and Khoudia and then head out for a walk to clear himself. "Victor sure has good taste, picking out someone so cute." He snickered. "So aloof, so seductive. I love it." Yuri sheepishly smiled. "I didn't think Victor would be into a –" Chris cut himself off and smirked. "Well, you know," he said as the the elevator came to a stop. Yuri _didn't_ know. He had no clue what Chris was implying, but he seemed to be saying that Victor has a type and Yuri is it. Somehow. They got out and walked towards the door. Yuri had something new to tell his journal.

They walked to the café, Yuri and Chris making light conversation between themselves. Khoudia was an outsider listening in. It wasn't a secret that she felt uncomfortable when she was around Chris. She felt something in her stomach that uncoiled and recoiled whenever she was around him. She was sure that he was a nice guy, but she just couldn't make herself comfortable around him. Khoudia wasn't certain if that was chalked up to her being generally shy around new people or if this was her gut feeling telling her that something was off about him. She didn't think that there was something off with Chris. So she just assumed that it was her shyness that was making her feel this way.

They opened the door to Golubka and took a seat by the window. Khoudia sat to the left of Yuri, sandwiched between him and the window. Chris sat across from Yuri. He was tempted to take his hand and make him squirm in his seat and play with him, but he decided to not get them into a precarious predicament. So he settled for giving him looks instead. Looks are harder to interpret and an onlooker can't easily gauge what's _not_ being said at first glance. This is a game that Yuri is easily going to lose.

"So, how was that sleepover?" Chris asked. A waitress came out and gave them menus and glasses of water. They immediately started to look through it with their cellphones in hand. "It was such a shame that there wasn't enough room for me to join." Khoudia was still clutching on to Yuri's arm.

"It was fine," Yuri said.

"What did you two do?" Yuri looked at him. "I hope fun stuff," Chris said with a wink.

"We tried to watch anime but the hotel Wifi was acting up so we went to bed," Yuri said. He shrugged apathetically.

" _I_ went to bed; Yuri stayed up drawing," Khoudia explained.

"Why do you make it sound like I'm actively avoiding sleep?" Yuri asked Khoudia. "I'd sleep if I could but I can't. So I just engaged in a quiet activity. I thought this would make you happy." Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Also, I waited an hour to start drawing so."

"You and your pencils kept me up half the night. Don't play," she said. Yuri shrugged. "Don't shrug when I'm talking to you!"

"This is cute. This is a cute argument," Chris said. Yuri and Khoudia stopped talking and looked at each other. "Don't stop because of me. I'm just a simple spectator." Khoudia giggled. "There's a smile."

"So how's your partner?" Yuri asked. "Dominique, right?"

"Domo is fine," Chris said. "Domo" must be a nickname. "He's taking care of Jana while I'm gone."

"So I'm presuming that chocolate ice cream controversy was just a minor scandal." Yuri and Chris giggled. Chris nodded. "I'm glad to hear that." Chris put down his menu and phone; he's decided on what he wanted. Chris was smiling. Yuri felt a foot run up his lower inner leg. He felt his face redden. "I'm really glad to hear that," Yuri choked out. Chris picked up his phone and started texting. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Chris: I'm actually more interested in your friend today.**_  
 _ **Chris: Why is she so quiet today?**_  
 _ **: She's just like that around new people.**_

Yuri looked at Chris. He nodded. Khoudia was nose deep in her menu. Of course, she wouldn't be seeing what was going on between Yuri and Chris. Chris stopped his foot from roaming further up Yuri's leg and returned it to under his chair. "So our Vitya told me that you're an art major," Chris said. "How's that going?"

"It's going well," Yuri said.

"What kind of art do you do?"

"I study graphic art, but I do a lot of traditional drawing."

"Traditional drawing?"

"Drawings using paper and pens or pencils," Khoudia clarified. She closed her menu. "Just say that you _draw_ , Yuri," Khoudia said to him. "Not everyone is going to be aware of the art terms you use."

"Yeah, yeah," Yuri said in response to Khoudia. "So I do that. Sometimes I paint. Sometimes I animate."

"What do you do most of the time?" Chris asked.

"I think and procrastinate," Yuri said. He put down his menu and closed it. "It's _a lot_ of thinking and procrastinating. But sometimes there's actual work being done."

"Is it rewarding?"

"Very." Yuri smiled thinking of the excellent thing he created this morning. "It's such an exhilarating feeling when you see something you've created and it's just so… good. Oh so good." Yuri sounded breathless when he was talking. It was like he had an extremely satisfying orgasm.

 _ **Khoudia: That sounds like mania talking, baby.**_

Yuri looked over at Khoudia. She shrugged. "Well it do," she said. "Fix your life, baby. Just fix your life." She tsk-tsked and shook her head. "Give it on up to Him and He will heal you." Khoudia snickered and nudged Yuri. Chris was but a silent observer in this moment.

"Are you religious, Khoudia?" Chris asked.

"Depends on the day," she said as she played with the corner of her menu. "Did you figure out what you want?" She asked Yuri.

"I think I want the English breakfast," Yuri said. "You?"

"I'll take the rice porridge. The fitness breakfast looked good, but I didn't want my middle class to show again when the waitress comes and I ask her about it."

"Rice porridge," Yuri repeated. Khoudia nodded.

"But it has this thing with it and I don't know what it is." Yuri arched a brow. "I can't pronounce it." She opened her menu and pointed at her selection. "That."

"Well, of course, you can't pronounce it," Yuri said. "It's in Russian."

"Well, I know _that_ , but I can't pronounce it even in English." Khoudia unlocked her phone and opened Google Translate. She pointed at the word. "That's the word." Khoudia bit her lip. "Can you say it?" Yuri shook his head. "I guess we'll figure out what it is when I get it."

"What about you, Chris?" Yuri asked. "What are you getting?"

"Eggs Benedict." Yuri nodded. Yuri felt Chris' foot caress his calves. Chris winked. Yuri blinked and made a face of confusion. He closed his menu and looked at his fingertips. Soon the waitress came and took their order. She took their glasses of water with her back to the kitchen. Yuri hadn't realized that Khoudia and Chris had touched their waters. He forgot they even existed.

"So, what are you two doing when you get back to… Detroit, was it?"

"It's Detroit," Yuri said. "And I don't know. I'm hoping to just go to sleep, but my roommate is probably going to want me to eat with him and tell him everything."

"You have a roommate?" Chris asked; Yuri nodded. "That's really cute. What about you, Khoudia?"

"I live at home," she said.

"Well, I _know_ you live at home, but do you have a roommate?"

"If my parents and siblings are considered roommates, then yes." Chris laughed. It was cute and he snorted a little. "And I don't know. I'll probably just spend time with my sisters or something when I get home. It's not like they'll let me leave once I drop off my bags." Chris nodded. "What about you?"

"I live with my Jana."

"Jana?" Khoudia asked.

"His cat," Yuri said. Chris removed his foot from his calves. Khoudia grinned. She's just found another cat parent to bond with. Khoudia placed her unlock finger on the home button of her phone and went to her photo album. She has a separate album just for her beloved Hadiya. She was waiting to show Hadiya off to Christophe; she just wanted to know when she should strike.

"Do you have a cat, Khoudia?" Yuri asked. She grabbed her phone and showed Chris a picture of her Hadiya. Hadiya was an orange tabby with a crook in their tail and a small tear in their left ear. She was a timid, sweet something. "Oh my, she looks so lovely." Chris unlocked his phone and went to his photo album. He scrolled a bit before he found the group of pictures he was looking for. "This is Jana." Khoudia gasped and her eyes sparkled. She was in love.

"She's so sweet! Look at her ears!" Khoudia clutched her chest. "Oh, oh Subhanallah." She wiped her eyes. "Your cat is so beautiful."

"Thank you," Chris said. "Your Hadiya is gorgeous, too." Khoudia took her phone back and put it to sleep. "Do you have a cat, Yuri?"

"I have a dog."

"Let's see the precious!" Chris beamed. "Show us, show us," he chanted playfully. Yuri unlocked his phone and went to his texts. He went to the last picture of Vicchan that Mari sent. "Is that your precious?"

"This is my precious," Yuri said. "We call him Vicchan."

"You know, Victor has a poodle, too," Chris said. "But she's in Petersburg right now."

"I know!" Yuri gushed and internally kicked himself. He didn't want to let his fanboy show, but it was too late. He was gushing. He let his façade slip. He might as well geek out and start crying about Victor's costume last season and how his hair flip made Yuri weak in the knees. Chris giggled. Did he not see the crack in Yuri's mask? He cleared his throat. Let's try this again. "His poodle is so cute."

"Makkachin is so sweet, too," he said. "To be honest, I'm not the biggest dog fan, but, if I had a dog, I'd want a dog like Makkachin." Chris ran the instep of his foot along Yuri's right calf. He winked again. "Animals are just so precious and pure. Don't you agree?" Yuri and Khoudia nodded. "I'm glad we're all in agreement about this." Chris smiled. "So, what do you two want to discuss now?" He asked. Yuri and Khoudia were silent. "Come on, surely you two have something to talk about!" They remained silent. Chris looked at Khoudia and then at Yuri. "Nothing?" Yuri shook his head. Khoudia kept her eyes on the lines on the table. "Man, what a tough crowd," Chris murmured.

Breakfast went on like this. Chris would initiate conversation with Yuri and Khoudia. Khoudia would say a few things – not many though, just a few – and Yuri would try to drag the corpse out some more. The conversation would die and Chris would look at Yuri and Khoudia, hoping that someone would say something – anything – to spark a new conversation. Eventually, Chris asked if they were usually like this together; they gave him a resounding "no" because they aren't, but why the both of them couldn't be arsed to carry on a conversation with Chris was lost on all three of them.

They paid for their food and Chris decided to go his separate way from Khoudia and Yuri. He felt that it would be intrusive to impose his presence on the two. He left them as warmly and cordially as he came.

Because Yuri and Khoudia couldn't decide on what to do, they decided to just head back to the hotel. It wasn't like they would be able to do much; Khoudia's free skate was today and she had to head back to get ready. After that, they would get ready for the Rostelecom Cup Banquet and force themselves to socialize with their fellow skaters because Coach Cialdini asked them to.

#

 **(Sunday, 29 November 2015 – 3:24pm, Moscow, Russia)**

After Khoudia's excellent skate, Yuri and Khoudia returned to their room to get ready for the banquet tonight. Yuri was setting his clothes out when Khoudia yelled. He got up from his suitcase and looked. If Yuri could hear her, so could their floor mates and Yuri didn't want any scenes. Yuri opened his door before Khoudia could even start knocking. She seemed to be incensed.

"What's going on?" He asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"My sisters did me dirty!" She yelled.

"You don't have to yell, ma perfection," he said. "I'm right in front of you. What did your sisters do?"

"I gotta show you how dirty they did me," she said. She grabbed Yuri by the wrist and pulled him into her room. She went back to his room and closed his door. Khoudia grabbed the dress off of her bed and held it in front of her. It was a scarlet red, floor-length, yoke gown that had three-quarter sleeves. It had an art nouveau lace overlay of the same color. Right now, it seemed like an okay dress to Yuri. "Do you see what's wrong with this dress?!"

"Not really," Yuri said.

"Maybe I should put it on to show you." She tossed the dress on Yuri and she started to take off her shirt.

"Khoudia, you don't have to take off your clothes. It's fine."

"No no no, I'm going to show you," she insisted. She threw her shirt on the floor and started to take off her pants. She kicked those off and grabbed the dress. She struggled to get it on, fighting the fabric. Yuri got up and pulled it on her. She tried to adjust the sleeves of the dress, but it didn't bow to her. The dress wasn't zipped in the back and it was still bunched in some places. "Do you see what I mean?!" Not only did the dress cover her legs, it graced the floor with inches of its nylon and lace fabric. "And the color is gross, too! Doesn't go with my skin at all!" Khoudia let out a screech. Yuri sat there, his shoulders hunched up. He didn't know what to do. "We need to go shopping. Right now. I refuse to wear this tonight."

"Khoudia, is the dress really so terrible?" She glared at him. "Yikes, sorry." Khoudia started to strip out of the dress. It hit the floor in a satisfying manner. "We'll go shopping." Khoudia put her shirt back on and then her pants. "Do you have something in mind already?"

"Yes," Khoudia said. "I know you'll love anything I have in mind, but I feel like Ciao Ciao would chastise me to death for it."

"So tell me what you're thinking." Khoudia put on her Columbia jacket and then her scarf.

"Grab my purse, baby," she said. Yuri passed it to her. She went in her carry-on bag and put her lotion, Blistex, and wallet in her purse. Then she put her purse on her coat. "Maybe we can do some shopping for you, too."

"Why me?"

"Because I was going through your bags and you brought your ugly tie with you." Yuri deadpanned. "It's an ugly tie, ma perfection. You need to get rid of it." She put her hand on the doorknob. "But, to be sure, let's look at your clothes." She flung her door open and she triumphantly walked across the hall to Yuri's room. Yuri silently followed behind her, closing her door behind him. Yuri unlocked his hotel room door and Khoudia lunged at Yuri's suitcase. She tore through his formal clothes and looked at them. "You're getting a new tie," she said as she set the tie aside. She looked at his socks. She got up and held them in front of him. "Yuri, I know you like Studio Ghibli, but you can't wear these. If you hitch your pants up on a chair, you're going to look really goofy. Goofy is not what my Birthday Boy is going for." She set those with the tie. "Actually, now that I think about it, your entire suit is ugly and you need to shop, too." Khoudia put Yuri's clothes away and closed his suitcase. "Birthday shopping trip."

"Khoudia, this isn't necessary."

"No no, it's necessary," Khoudia said. "Didn't Phichit pick out your clothes?" She asked. Yuri nodded. "I'm going to need to talk to him about this. He did you dirty, too."

"I don't _need_ a new suit, Khoudia."

"Yes you do," she said. She put the suit, shirt, tie, and socks back in the suitcase. "Get your coat on and bring your wallet. We're going shopping." Yuri went over to his coat and put it on. Then he got his wallet out of his carry on bag. He put it and his phone in his pocket. Khoudia walked back to her hotel room to get her coat. She came out with her coat on and they walked to the elevator. "Do you got your headphones?" Yuri gave Khoudia his headphones. "Thank you, baby."

"No problem."

Khoudia unlocked her phone and went to call Phichit. He picked up immediately. "Yeah?" Khoudia quickly shoved the left earbud in Yuri's ear.

"Ma foi," Khoudia said.

"Wait, is Yuri there?"

"He is," Khoudia told him.

"Is he listening?"

"I'm right here," Yuri said.

"Happy birthday, mon lapinou!" Phichit yelled. Yuri winced when the sound hit his ear. Yuri thanked Phichit and smiled.

"Now, Phichit, we need to talk," Khoudia said. They reached the elevator and Yuri pushed the down button. "I was looking at Yuri's suit and noticed that it was trash."

"Look, Yuri only owns two suits and he refuses to buy another one. I worked with what I have." Khoudia looked up at Yuri with pursed lips. She was giving him a look.

"It's not your fault, love," she said. The elevator came and they got on. "Yuri and I are going clothes shopping. He's coming back with a new suit and maybe more clothes."

"Please!" Phichit exclaimed. "He needs more clothes besides floral harem pants and hoodies."

"You two know that I'm here – actively listening – right?" Yuri asked.

"We know," Phichit said. "Get nice clothes so I have more to work with next time you need me to pick things. Khoudia, I'm putting my faith in you." Yuri rolled his eyes as the elevator stopped on the fourth floor. No one got on. "I'm going to go make some breakfast now. I'll text you a list of things that Yuri isn't allowed to get." Khoudia nodded. "Love you two!"

"We love you, too," Khoudia said. The call ended. The elevator shot down to the first floor and they got off.

"So, where are we going first?" Yuri asked.

There was a beat. "Shit." She bit her lip. "Do you want to get your shopping out of the way first? Because there should be a suit shop somewhere nearby."

"You didn't think this through, did you?" Yuri asked. Khoudia groaned. Her phone buzzed; that must be Phichit.

"In my fury, I made hasty decisions. Decisions that we're going to see through because I am not going to look dumb after all of my screaming." She searched for something. "Let's start with you. What's the place you call where you buy suits?"

"A suit store?" Yuri said with a shrug. "I don't know. Just search for 'suit store' and see what happens." Khoudia did just that. She found something. "Ready?"

"We need to take an Uber there, though," she said. She went to Uber and requested one. "It's in some posh cultural district here. We should go sightseeing, too! We haven't even gone sightseeing yet! Phichit would love that!" Khoudia draped her arm over Yuri's shoulder. Her lower arm dangled at a weird angle over Yuri's shoulder.

"Do we even have the time to sightsee?" Yuri asked. "The banquet starts at nine."

"We have time," Khoudia said. "The Uber is a minute away." Yuri knit his brow. He wondered how it got to them so fast. "Let's go!" She grabbed his wrist and pulled him outside of the hotel. The Uber pulled up across the street. Our friends crossed the street to get to their cab and they got in. For a street with a medium-sized hotel in a major district, it was a quiet, non-active street. They got in.

"Kh…Khuu…" The driver stammered out.

"Me," Khoudia said, noticing that the driver was having trouble with her name. Yuri closed the door behind them and took out his phone.

"Privyet," the driver said. Khoudia nodded and smiled at the driver. He drove off, heading straight. Khoudia was taking in the sights while Yuri was checking his phone. He had a bunch of text messages. He decided to start with Mari.

Mari: Mom, Dad, and I wish you a happy birthday, little brother!

Yuri smiled. He thanked his sister and quickly went to Adé's messages.

 _ **Adé: Bòn Fèt, Papa!**_  
 _ **: Thank you, my son.**_

Yuri went to Masabeeh's texts.

 _ **Masabeeh: Tal'at and I wish you a happy birthday.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: She said to call you "daddy-o" to make it sweeter, but I'm not going to do that.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Pretend this was more original or something idk**_  
 _ **: I take this and cherish it. Thank you, you two ((heart emoji))**_

She sent back a star. Then he went to Guang Hong's messages. He hadn't texted him before today.

 _ **Guang Hong: Phichit told us that it was your birthday today so, from me and my baby, we wish you a lovely birthday and a prosperous life!**_

Then he went to Olivia's messages. He saved "the best" for last.

 _ **Olivia: Happy birthday, Yuri.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Khoudia did great today.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Tell her that I am so much in love with her and I need her to call me.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Wyd?**_

Yuri showed the texts to Khoudia and she snickered. She passed Yuri his phone back.

 _ **: We're going shopping. Khoudia and I are having a fashion emergency.**_  
 _ **Olivia: You? Having a fashion emergency? What happened?**_  
 _ **: Khoudia decided that my suit was ugly and that I need a new one so we're going last minute suit shopping.**_  
 _ **Olivia: She thought it was that bad? Rude.**_

Yuri went to Victor's messages, looking at the last thing he sent. Yuri sighed. He wants to talk to Victor, but he's also anxious about talking to Victor. Yuri took a deep breath. He'll have to bite the bullet eventually and now was as good a time as ever. So he decided on a simple "hey" to start off. Then he went into total fuckboy territory when he said: "I miss you." Yuri exited Messages and locked his phone. He's simultaneously anticipating and dreading Victor's response. He hopes that Victor misses him, too. Khoudia reached over and touched his hand.

"Tonight is going to be great," she said. "We're going to go to the banquet and we're going to look great and we're going to be great." Yuri nodded. Khoudia squeezed his hand, trying to assure themselves that tonight was going to be great.

They reached the suit store and they bid their driver a farewell. They stood outside of the place, hand-in-hand. "Let's do that sightseeing first," Khoudia said. They leaned on the gate outside of the suit store. "Pick a place."

"Me?"

"Of course," Khoudia said. She gave Yuri her phone. He looked at the map of the area. He picked a lone atoll at the bottom of where they were. According to Google Maps, there was a statue of Peter the Great there. Yuri didn't know who Peter the Great was or what he did, but he figured that there would be enough time for that as they walked. Yuri gave Khoudia her phone back and she looked at the map. "Alright, let's go to the monument!" Khoudia grabbed Yuri's hand and they walked to Peter the Great's Monument. They were able to walk there in under fifteen minutes _and_ figure out who Peter the Great was. The statue was 98 meters tall and it was on a small islet in the Moskva River. They stood beside a fence, looking over the water that separated them from the base of the statue. Khoudia was gazing at the water. "The water looks so calm," she mused aloud.

"It is."

"We should get closer to the statue," Khoudia suggested. She walked along the length of fence and found the gate. "We go in here!" Khoudia opened the gate and beckoned Yuri over to her. Yuri gamboled over to her and followed her down the path.

"Do you think we're allowed to do this?" Yuri asked as they reached the stone path that led to the monument. "I feel like we're not allowed to do this."

"We probably aren't," Khoudia said. Yuri sputtered like he was a broken down hooptie. "What?" She looked back at him.

"We could go to jail! We don't know Russian!"

"I know," Khoudia said. "We should do it anyway. So let's go!" She yelled as she grabbed Yuri's hand to pull him along.

"There is literally no one else here but us," Yuri complained. "This cannot be a good sign."

"You're right," she said. "It's a _great_ sign. We don't have to worry about being in anyone's way. Birthday Boy gets Peter the Great's Monument all to himself." Yuri let out a loud sob, but there was no one around to hear. "Wait!" She stopped walking.

"What? Change of heart?" Yuri asked.

"No, better. We should take a selfie here!" Khoudia pulled out her phone and opened the camera app. She snapped two flicks of them. "Now, let's keep walking!" Khoudia skipped merrily, holding Yuri by the wrist. Soon they reached the base of the monument. They snapped their flicks and sat on the bench at the base. Yuri couldn't take his eyes off of the monument.

"I can't believe that we actually did this," Yuri murmured.

"I know, right? We should trespass more often." Yuri let out another loud sob. A laugh soon followed the sob. "Let's get going. We have more things to see." Khoudia opened Google Maps and gave her phone to Yuri. "Pick another place." Yuri selected a large square. "There?" Yuri nodded. "Let's go!" They walked back on the stone path and back on the dirt path. They closed the gate behind them and they continued walking.

Next, Yuri and Khoudia went to the Repin Monument at Bolotnaya Square. This was a statue dedicated to and in the likeness of Ilya Repin, a realist artist. When Yuri learned that, he was all over the statue, making sure to take a picture of the name plaque and get a good shot of the statue. Yuri and Khoudia took a break to walk around the park. Yuri was in love with the park, the statue, and Ilya Repin's paintings. Yuri and Khoudia laid in the cold grass. Their bodies would hate them later on, but they were floating. Khoudia snuggled up to Yuri as he looked the self-portrait with Natalia Nordman.

"Why do you love art so much?" Khoudia asked. She moved closer to him, sizing him up to devour him later.

"It makes me happy."

"Well, obviously," Khoudia said with an eye roll. "But why? What made you love it so much?"

"My sister did. It provided me a way to connect with her." Khoudia nodded. "She tried to connect to me by using dance and skating, but Mari was kind of bad at ballet and she was averse to the idea of being on the ice. I don't know how she got the idea to introduce me to art, but it worked." Khoudia nodded again.

"Is that when you started drawing? Like, seriously started drawing?"

"Yes."

There was a silence. Yuri put his phone on his chest and looked up at the sky. It was a lovely sky blue. "What does art do for you?" Khoudia asked, effectively breaking the silence. She was filled with a lot of questions today.

"It gives me life," Yuri murmured.

"Does Victor give you life?" She asked. Yuri nodded. "Have you told him that? Like, actually, verbally told him that?" Yuri shook his head. Khoudia sat up and looked Yuri in his eye. He squirmed. "When you get home, you arrange a date and tell him that." She grabbed his face. "Do you understand me?" Yuri nodded. She got up and stretched; her bones popped. "We should go get your suit. We can continue sightseeing after." Khoudia held out her hand for Yuri to help him up; he took it gladly. They walked out of the park, hand in hand.

After roughly fifteen minutes, they reached the suit store. They were back where their sightseeing adventure began. Khoudia dragged Yuri inside of the suit store and started poking around. She seemed to know exactly what she was doing. A woman approached Khoudia and spoke to her in Russian. Khoudia looked lost and kept saying "what?" in English. Yuri tried to intervene and help the situation, but they got nowhere. The woman held out her hands and walked away. Yuri and Khoudia looked at each other in confusion.

Then it all made sense when the woman came back with someone else who greeted them in English.

"How may I help?" The other woman asked. Unlike her coworker, she was short, brunette, and had green eyes.

"My friend is looking for a suit," Khoudia told her. "Do you have something for tall men?" Khoudia touched Yuri's shoulder and made a gesture, denoting him.

"What's his inseam length?" She asked. She looked at Khoudia and Khoudia looked at Yuri. He shrugged. "Does he know?"

"No," Khoudia said.

"We can measure him," she said. "What color suit do you have in mind?"

"Platinum gray." The woman walked over to a suit at the end of a rack. She picked it up and held it to Yuri's chest. She seemed to be checking for something. She put the suit back on the rack and grabbed a different one not too far from the first. She held that one to Yuri's chest, too. Khoudia stroked her chin, looking for something, too.

"Try this on in there, please," the woman said. She gently guided Yuri to the changing room and Yuri went in. Khoudia followed him and stood outside of his dressing curtain. Yuri took off his shoes and winced at the coldness of the floor. Then he took off his coat and passed it to Khoudia. Then he slowly pulled off his pants and passed those to Khoudia, too. She folded them as she patiently waited for Yuri to get the suit pants on and step out. After two minutes, Yuri stepped out with the pants on. They were slightly long in the legs, but that could be easily fixed. If Yuri had the materials, he would fix them himself. The short woman came to him with a measuring tape and measured his inseam. She pinned the bottom of the legs. "You can take them off now," the woman said. "Do you need a shirt, too?"

"Yes, please," Khoudia said. Yuri started running his hands up and down the pants, taking in the texture of the pants. He likes them. If the jacket was cut from the same fabric, he was certain that he would like that, too.

"What color?" The woman asked.

"Um," Khoudia's voice trailed off. "I'm thinking a shade of blue. Maybe royal blue." Yuri looked at Khoudia. "What do you think, Yuri?"

"Yes, Yuri," the woman said with a smile. "What do you think?" She draped the measuring tape around her neck and clasped her hands together. "Do you like the suit?" He nodded. "What color do you want the shirt to be?" Out of the corner of Yuri's eye, he caught something that sparkled. He walked over to it; it was a shirt. He looked at the shirt and held it, touching the seams and taking in the details. The shirt looked like his favorite album cover but with a different color scheme. He clutched it to his chest; he was going to get that shirt even if it killed him.

"Yuri, I'm not letting you wear that with those pants."

"I know," Yuri said. "But I want to buy this shirt." He gave it to Khoudia to hold. "Hold that for me." She shrugged and held it alongside his pants.

"Are you actually going to wear that with those pants?" The woman asked. Yuri shook his head. "We should look at some dress shirts. Come," she said. "You can put your pants back on." Yuri went back to the dressing room. Khoudia gave Yuri his pants and he put them on. Then he put on his shoes and gave the suit pants back to the shop attendant. She gave them to her coworker after they had a short conversation in Russian. After their conversation, the woman came back and she directed Yuri and Khoudia to a rack of shirts. Yuri saw a striped blue shirt that he thought would look nice with his suit, but Khoudia and the shop attendant rallied against it. They felt that the stripes were too thick; they agreed that, if Yuri wanted to go with stripes, the stripes should be finer – an accent, if you will.

"What's your name?" Yuri asked as the woman looked for a shirt similar to the one Yuri had.

"I am Natalia Antoneva," she said as she pulled out a shirt. Natalia held the shirt to Yuri's chest. "It's very nice to meet you, Yuri."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Natalia Antoneva." Yuri looked at another shirt. This one was a solid peach color. He held it to his chest.

"That looks nice," Khoudia said.

"What color would the tie be?" Yuri asked.

"Either slate gray or platinum gray," Khoudia said. "You have to keep with the color scheme."

"Except that you _don't_ ," Yuri said. "Sometimes there's room for color variations that go surprisingly well. But I think we should find a peach color tie. A darker peach-colored tie." Natalia looked at the peach shirt Yuri was holding; she agreed that it went well with his suit.

"Now we're looking for a tie, right?" Natalia asked. She walked over to a stand and seemed to pick one arbitrarily. She brought it back to Yuri and Khoudia. Yuri was unsure of it until he touched it; then he decided that he was in love. The tie was a peach-orange color with black and silver accents and it was tactilely pleasing to Yuri. He held the tie next to the shirt. "Yes," he thought, "this goes well." "Do you like that tie?" Natalia asked.

"I do," Yuri said.

"It goes nicely with your shirt," Khoudia said. "So is it that you know what you're doing but you don't want to do it?" She was referring to why Yuri hasn't bought a new suit sooner.

"Exactly that," Yuri said. "I chose _not_ to buy a new suit. It's a waste of time."

"I'll take those off of your hands," Natalia said. She took the shirt and tie from Yuri and gave it to her coworker. They had another short conversation. Natalia came back with a smile on her face. Khoudia was looking at Yuri's new favorite shirt, trying to understand what he saw in it.

"This shirt is kind of ugly," Khoudia mused aloud. "I can't picture you in this at all."

"It's a nice shirt." Yuri shifted. "I like the transitions on it." Khoudia looked closer at it, trying to understand what Yuri was talking about. He got his phone out of his coat pocket. Olivia had texted.

 ** _Olivia: So Khoudia's making you get a new suit._**  
 ** _Olivia: How's that going for you?_**  
 ** _: Surprisingly well._**  
 ** _: She hates this shirt I picked out, thou._**

"I hate to interrupt you, but your suit pants will be ready by 18:30," Natalia told Yuri. "Perhaps you and your partner would like to go out and look around until then." Khoudia stopped looking at Yuri's shirt and walked over to him.

"Sure," Yuri said and started to put his coat back on.

"What'd I miss?" Khoudia asked.

"I was just telling your partner that his suit won't be ready until 18:30 so you are free to walk around the city until then." Khoudia nodded. "Do you want to pay for the suit now or later?"

"Now would be fine," Yuri said. Natalia took them to the register and Yuri paid for his suit. Natalia wrote out a ticket for Yuri so he can get his suit out.

Yuri and Khoudia walked out of the store and leaned on the gate. "So, what do you want to do until 6:30? It's 4:18 right now."

"Let's find what you're going to wear," Yuri suggested.

"But I don't know which way to go." Khoudia took out her phone and grimaced. "I know what I want but I don't know where to go to get it." Khoudia held out her hand for Yuri. "Let's just start walking. We'll find what I'm looking for eventually."

Yuri and Khoudia continued to sightsee while keeping their eyes out for what Khoudia was looking for. Yuri had no idea what she had in mind so he just had to trust her.

#

 **(Sunday, 29 November 2015 – 8:30pm, Moscow, Russia)**

Khoudia found what she was looking for. They were by the Cathedral of Christ the Savior when she found it. Yuri was in disbelief when he saw it. It was short and it shined whenever the light hit it. It was extravagant and somehow fitting for Khoudia. He wondered how she was going to even stay warm because the dress was so short, but, as Khoudia says, "a hoe never gets cold."

Yuri was in Khoudia's bathroom, tying his tie. Khoudia and Yuri decided to get ready together after they took their showers. Khoudia chose to get ready in her room and Yuri let her have her space. Yuri knocked on the door to get her attention. "Do you have your dress on yet?" He asked.

"Not yet!" She responded. "I'm greasing up right now. Just wait a bit longer." Yuri nodded and put down the toilet seat. He sat on it and unlocked his phone. Phichit was asking Yuri to take lots of pictures tonight. Yuri agreed and went to Victor's texts; he hadn't had the chance to respond to him all day.

 _ **Victor: I miss you too**_  
 _ **Victor: Wyd?**_  
 _ **: Khoudia and I went shopping and sightseeing today.**_  
 _ **Victor: How was it?**_

"Alright, you can come out now!" Khoudia bellowed. Yuri got up from his seat and left the bathroom. Khoudia went to the closet to get her coat. Yuri went to the door and grabbed his shoes. He sat on the bed and started to put them on. "Okay, ma raison, how do I look?" Khoudia stepped out of the closet and posed. Yuri looked at her in silence. "Well?" She spun slowly. "Come on, give me some input."

"Would it matter if I gave input? You're going to wear it anyway." Yuri put his right foot in his shoe.

"Yes! Now tell me, how do I look?"

"You look stunning," Yuri finally said. The dress came mid-thigh in the front and a little bit lower in the back. It sparkled even when Khoudia didn't move. "You know Ciao Ciao is going to break your legs when he sees you." Khoudia laughed. "He's going to come out of the corner and drop kick you into hell." Khoudia smiled and shrugged.

"He can break my legs all he wants; I look cute and everyone's going to see it tonight."

"What are you going to do when he sees you and starts yelling?" Yuri asked. He put on his left shoe.

"Dab on him," Khoudia said. She went over to her bag and put on her heels. Yuri started shaking and laughing. "And, before you ask, I'm being serious. I will literally dab the moment Ciao Ciao starts yelling at me." Khoudia started striking more poses. "Now help me fix my hair. I want it in a bun." Yuri put his phone down on Khoudia's bed and stood behind Khoudia. He gathered up Khoudia's braids and held them up. "Now do what I do." Khoudia went to her suitcase and got a scarf to tie her braids with. "Let go of my hair." Yuri let Khoudia's braids fall and she went to lay on her bed, her head dangling off of the edge. Yuri helped her gather her braids together so Khoudia could tie them. She tied them with her scarf and sat up. Then Yuri assisted Khoudia in wrapping and rolling her hair into a bun. Khoudia went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She made a joyful sound and stepped out with a renewed sense vigor. She was going to fuck it up tonight.

"You look very nice," Yuri said. "The bun was a good idea." Khoudia gave her phone to Yuri. It's time to take pictures. Yuri snapped several flicks of Khoudia in different poses and with different expressions. "Are these going on Instagram?"

"Not yet," Khoudia said. "I want this to be a surprise to everyone."

"Are you going to cover your legs?" Yuri asked.

"Nope. Hoes don't get cold," she said with a wink. She put her portable charger in her bag. Then she put her charger, comb, and edge control in.

"Do you really need to bring a comb and edge control?"

"You never know when your edges are going to become out of control. I have to be prepared."

"Palefaces don't know what edges are. You'll be fine," Yuri assured her. Khoudia rolled her eyes and didn't move to take the comb and edge control out of her purse. "I tried." Yuri shrugged and went back to his messages.

 _ **: It was a lot of fun. After we shopped, we went to the Pushkin Museum and got some pizza.  
** **Victor: Was it the Fine Arts Museum or was it the State Museum?**_  
 _ **: There's a difference?**_  
 _ **Victor: There's a huge difference. One has art. The other one is a Pushkin museum with concert halls.**_

Khoudia bent down to tie Yuri's shoes. "Khoudia, did we go to an art museum today?" He asked. Khoudia nodded.

 _ **: Khoudia said that it was the art museum.**_  
 _ **Victor: Then we should go to the State Museum. There's a Bely exhibit and we can go to the Pushkin memorial apartment.**_  
 _ **Victor: What else did you see?**_  
 _ **: We saw the Bolshoi Theatre, the Peter the Great Monument, the Repin Monument, the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, the Kremlin, Saint Basil's Cathedral, the Bell Tower, the State Historical Museum, the Oriental Art Museum, and Red Square.**_  
 _ **: We saw Lenin's body! His actual body!**_  
 _ **: And Khoudia took me to a bakery and got me a cupcake.**_  
 _ **: Also, we bought stuff.**_  
 _ **Victor: You did a lot today and that's amazing.**_  
 _ **Victor: Before you leave, you need to see the Gogol Museum.**_

Khoudia looked over Yuri's shoulder and smiled. "Victor texted back, I see." Yuri nodded. "Remember to arrange a date with him," she said.

"I will."

 _ **: I'll be sure to do that with Khoudia tomorrow.**_  
 _ **: We should go on a date when I come back maybe.**_  
 _ **Victor: Maybe?**_

"Yuri, don't say 'maybe.' You can't be apathetic about this." She sat next to him and continued to observe.

 _ **: I mean, if you want to go on a date with me that is.**_  
 _ **: No pressure.**_  
 _ **Victor: Well, I want to go on a date with you.**_  
 _ **Victor: Do you want to go on one with me?**_  
 _ **: I'd really love that.**_

Khoudia's phone rang. It was Ciao Ciao. She put him on speaker.

"Where are you?" He asked.

"I'm getting ready right now. Do you want to meet us at the hall?" Khoudia asked. She balanced the phone on Yuri's lap and reached for her raw shea butter. She took the top off and started to scrape at it.

"Just meet me in the lobby. We can go together," Coach Cialdini said.

"Are you ready now?" Yuri asked him.

"Khoudia! Why is Yuri getting ready with you?!" Coach Cialdini asked.

"It's a long story," Yuri said. It was a painfully complex story and it was best if Khoudia told it. If Yuri told it, it would leave a lot of unanswered questions. Khoudia rubbed her hands together and started to rub the shea butter on her arms, focusing specifically on her elbows.

"Just come down to the lobby when you're ready," he said and hung up. Yuri put Khoudia's phone on the bed next to his and Khoudia passed Yuri the shea butter. "You know I can't use this."

"I need you to grease my back and neck," Khoudia said. She turned her back on Yuri. Yuri scraped the shea butter out and rubbed his hands together to apply the butter to her freckled back.

"You're going to be shining all night tonight," Yuri said. "If it's not your Egyptian crystal dress – which is opulent as fuck, I might add – it's the light hitting your back and the butter reflecting it." Khoudia laughed and shrugged playfully. "You and your opulent hoe dress."

"Don't forget to do my shoulders," Khoudia reminded him. Yuri scraped more shea butter out of the container and greased Khoudia's neck and shoulders. Khoudia handed Yuri a towel. Yuri wiped his hands on the towel and passed it back to Khoudia. Yuri got up and started stimming to make himself comfortable in his new suit. Khoudia passed him his suit jacket and he put it on as he stimmed. "So doing that makes wearing clothes more comfortable?" Khoudia asked.

"Yes," Yuri said as he twisted and flung his arm into the air. Khoudia stepped back. "Yeah, you should kind of stay away until I'm done."

"And when are you done?" She asked.

"When I stop." Khoudia sucked her teeth. Yuri picked his leg up and did a grand gesture. "You might want to sit down. This can get elaborate," he said. Yuri started doing tendus, first, second, and fifth pliés, and first arabesques. Khoudia watched Yuri do those and stim in between them. She was amazed.

"And you do this… all the time?" She asked.

"Yes," Yuri said. He moved into a passé and spun. Then he finished with a grande battement and another passé. "I'm done now. Let's go downstairs." Yuri tossed Khoudia her coat and opened her door to get his. Yuri got his coat off of his bed and put it on. He went back to Khoudia's room. She had her coat and purse on and ready. They were ready. She handed Yuri his phone and they walked to the elevator.

 _ **: Khoudia and I are going to the banquet.**_  
 _ **Victor: Please do try to have fun tonight.**_  
 _ **: I'll try.**_

The elevator came and they got on. Khoudia zipped up her coat and grinned. "I can't wait to see the look on Ciao Ciao's face when I take off my coat!" She exclaimed.

"I swear, he's going to break your legs and drop kick you into hell." She laughed. The elevator stopped on the fifth floor. "This isn't a joke, Khoudia," Yuri admonished.

"Well, it's too late. I'm already dressed and I'm already on the elevator," Khoudia said. She took out her phone and went on Instagram. "Elizabeth and Michael are already there," she said. "Look." Khoudia showed Yuri the Instagram photo. They were standing in front of a sign placed by the entrance of the banquet hall. Elizabeth was in a fuschia colored trumpet dress and Michael was in a navy blue suit. They looked sharp compared to Yuri and Khoudia. Khoudia was dressed like she was about to hit up the club while Yuri was dressed like he's about to hide in the bathroom during his prom.

They reached the lobby and Khoudia took a seat to wait for Coach Cialdini. Khoudia was teeming with excitement. If everything goes right, she was going to take off her coat when they get inside and she was going to blind everyone with her dress. Once their equilibrium was regained, Coach Cialdini would chastise Khoudia for dressing improperly and chastise Yuri for allowing Khoudia to dress improperly. Then Coach Cialdini would retreat to his bevy of coaches and they would talk about how their wards are unruly and are always pulling stunts because they're overdramatic show ponies. Yuri and Khoudia would proceed to be good, reserved skaters despite looking absolutely goofy and they would socialize with everyone.

But that's if tonight goes all right.

Coach Cialdini and his ducklings endured the ten-minute walk to the banquet hall. It was a brisk walk and Khoudia complained about her legs being cold the entire time. Yuri couldn't help but laugh at her when she complained. He was under the presumption that hoes don't get cold.

"Yuri!" Chris said. He walked out of the hall and greeted him with a hug. "I'm glad that you decided to come tonight." Chris started to help Yuri out of his coat, but Yuri stopped him and did it himself. Khoudia was still wearing hers.

"Khoudia, take your coat off," Yuri said. Khoudia smirked and unzipped her coat. Chris looked at her, his mouth ajar. Khoudia smiled and walked over to Yuri. "Do you want me to put our coats away?"

"No, no, I can do that," Khoudia said. She took Yuri's coat after getting his phone out of his pocket. She did what must be done and returned to Yuri and Chris.

"You look very handsome tonight," Chris said with a wink. Yuri felt himself blush. "You're so cute."

"Thank you," Yuri stammered.

"Khoudia!" Coach Cialdini yelled. Yuri and Khoudia looked behind themselves. Khoudia stood between Yuri and Chris, hoping that their height will mask her. "Khoudia Bâ Sène!" Coach Cialdini yelled. He approached Yuri, Chris, and Khoudia and stood in front of her. Yuri looked away and tried to mask his laughter. "Why did you leave the hotel wearing that?!"

"I had to wear _something_ to the banquet," she said. "Also, I look good in this dress!" Khoudia straightened herself up and struck a pose.

"You're not supposed to wear things like _that_ to a formal event!"

"Okay, but I look good!" She touched Yuri's back. "And my sisters picked out a terrible dress and I wasn't going to wear it in public."

"So you went shopping for this gaudy monstrosity," Coach Cialdini said.

"Is it really that gaudy?" She asked, feigning shock. "Plus, Yuri liked it when I picked it out." Yuri looked at Khoudia in shock. "In fact, Yuri _supported_ me wearing this tonight." Yuri deadpanned.

"Yuri, why did you encourage this?" Coach Cialdini yelled.

"I–I just–" Yuri stopped talking and threw up his hands in concession. He had no clue what to say and he didn't even understand how he got dragged into this.

"Well, I can't go back and change and I refuse to put on the dress my sisters picked out." Khoudia grabbed on to Yuri's arm. "So I guess I'm just going to have to wear it." She smiled sweetly and held Yuri's hand. Chris started laughing. Khoudia didn't pay him any mind. "Yuri, I'm going to go lay my edges. You stay put. We can take pictures when I come out."

"Of course," Yuri said. Chris and Yuri walked Khoudia walk off to find the bathroom. They waited until she was gone before they started to talk.

"So is Khoudia usually like this?" Yuri nodded. "I think that – once she gets accustomed to me – we'll be great friends."

"I would really like that," Yuri said.

"We should take a selfie!" Chris beamed. "For our Vitya and for Instagram, of course." Chris took out his phone and snapped some flicks. He assured Yuri that he will send him all of the pictures he takes tonight… After he sends them to Victor, that is. Speaking of Victor, Yuri got his phone out of his pocket – Khoudia had put it in there when she was trying to hide from Coach Cialdini – and checked his messages. Chris was texting Victor as Yuri scrolled through his message list.

 _ **: I'm here.**_  
 _ **Victor: I know. Chris told me.**_  
 _ **: What else did he tell you?**_  
 _ **Victor: That you're really hot and that he might steal you away from me**_

Yuri sharply exhaled and said, "You can't steal me away, Chris." Chris snickered. "I'm being serious."

"I know you are, but I'd be a liar if I said that I didn't think about stealing you away." Chris draped his arm over Yuri's shoulder and stroked his cheek with his other hand. "Victor's lucky he got to you before I had the chance to." Chris moved his face closer to Yuri's; Yuri felt his face get hot.

"Christophe!" Someone said. Chris pulled away from Yuri and looked at the entrance. There was a short, bald man with red-rimmed glasses standing there. "Stop flirting with the new skater," he said. Chris laughed. The man walked over to Chris and Yuri. "Hello," the man said to Yuri as he held out his hand. "I'm Christophe's coach." Yuri tentatively took his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you," Yuri murmured.

"Who's your coach?" He asked.

"Celestino Cialdini." Yuri smiled. Christophe's coach nodded. Khoudia came out and stood next to Yuri. He looked at her head; her edges looked positively laid. "And this is Khoudia Bâ Sène."

"Ah, the African girl with the beautiful skin," Christophe's coach said as he looked her up and down. "It's lovely to finally meet you." He kissed Khoudia's knuckles; she made a face of embarrassment.

"It's… nice to meet you too. I think." Christophe's coach nodded.

"I think I'll go find Celestino now. Now, Christophe, don't flirt with the skaters." Chris nodded. His coach walked off to find Coach Cialdini. Chris was smiling.

"That's my coach, everybody!" He said. He grabbed Yuri's hand. "Let's go inside. You can sit with me!" Chris pulled Yuri inside and Khoudia followed them. She looked around, scanning the room.

 _ **: What are you looking for?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'm trying to see if Michael and are here.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I don't see them.**_

Chris found the table he was sharing with his coach and they sat. "I'm so glad that you were here at this event," Chris said. "It would've been boring without you two."

"You don't know us very well," Khoudia pointed out. "Surely you wouldn't have missed our presence too much."

"No, I still would have," Chris said. "Plus, I don't need to know you very well to like you." Khoudia took out her phone. "If I like you, I like you. It's simple." Chris had a contemplative look in his eyes. Then he rubbed his eyes. "Sorry, my eyes are getting kind of dry right now. Excuse me." Chris reached into his pocket and felt around for something. Once he seemed like he found what he was feeling for, he got up and left the room. Khoudia looked at the doorway.

"I can't believe that he likes us," Khoudia said. "Him liking you I can understand – y'all have actually talked – but liking me too?" She shook her head. "Hard to believe. I refuse to believe."

"Khoudia, he thinks you're cool." She rolled her eyes and kept looking at the entrance. "He sees it even without having multiple conversations with you." She scoffed. "What will it take for you to realize this?" She shrugged and kept her eye on the entrance.

"We're going to dance tonight," she said.

"No debating it?"

"No debating it," she said. "We're dancing."

"What if we start making people feel bad?" Yuri asked.

"We already claimed gold and silver," she said. "We might as well make them feel bad some more. They can handle it. How this ass taste?"

"Khoudia, you're really funny," Chris said. He walked behind her chair and behind Yuri's to get back to his seat. "'How this ass taste?' That's great." Chris smiled. "Do you want to get something to eat? You know, something that isn't ass?" Khoudia giggled. "There's a laugh. We should go! I heard that they went to a local caterer for tonight's food."

"Did you see your coach?" Yuri asked.

"No, I think he's still looking for your coach. I wonder what Josef could want with him." Chris took out his phone. "Oh, Yuri, Vitya just sent me a bunch of heart eye emojis. He's really feeling you." Chris went to his photos and selected bunches of them. "I'm going to send you the selfies now."

"Shit! That's what I forgot!" Khoudia said. "Yuri, we have to take those photos right now." She got up and tried to pull out Yuri's chair.

"I can take the photos for you," Chris offered. "Let's do that and then get food." Chris got up and pulled out Yuri's chair. Yuri got up and they walked towards the standing banner. Yuri wrapped his arm around Khoudia's waist and pulled her close. Chris took a flick. Then Yuri and Khoudia wrapped their arms around each other; Chris took another flick. They took a couple more flicks and they crowded around Chris to look at them. Khoudia looked absolutely perfect; her skin and the gems on her dress gleamed in every photo. Yuri looked like he had no clue what to do with his body. As usual. Yuri took out his phone and took pictures of Khoudia.

"Hey! You're supposed to be in these, too!" She yelled. Yuri laughed and Khoudia took command of his phone. She snapped flicks of the two of them together and of Yuri looking over at something. "Okay, _now_ we can go eat." She grabbed Yuri's hand and tried to pull him to the entrance of the hall. Chris was happily observing them. He had a lot to tell Victor about tonight.

Once they were done with the flicks and Snapchat posts, they went back into the hall. They went to the tables for food. Yuri and Khoudia were apprehensive about this for different reasons. Khoudia's apprehensiveness was based around what was "clean" for her to eat and the fact that she doesn't go around, eating everyone's cooking; Yuri's apprehensiveness was because he knew nothing about what was being served. They decided to get the mozzarella bruschetta, a salad, and the apricot sharbat because it is literally impossible to fuck up a salad and sharbat is pretty good. Chris was the more adventurous of the three of them; he decided to get lamb.

Coach Cialdini and Coach Karpisek came back and found their ducks. Khoudia looked back at the door one last time to see if Michael and them were here. She still didn't see them. Coach Cialdini was still simmering from his earlier interaction with Khoudia. He hated how his charge was so hard-headed and how he couldn't do anything about it. Nothing he did or threatened to do seemed to faze Khoudia. He was glad that Yuri was more pliant. He was also occasionally more capable of reasoning with Khoudia. Coach Cialdini and Coach Karpisek talked about coachly things.

After they ate, it was time for awkward formal dancing. Coach Harcourt and his skaters were here, finally. Khoudia politely excused herself from the table and went over to them. Yuri couldn't tell anything that was going on, but he could tell that Khoudia was talking.

 _ **: So?**_

Khoudia looked back at Yuri. She gestured for him to come over. Yuri looked at her and shrugged. She started to beckon him more feverishly.

 _ **: What's going on?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Just come here.**_

"Excuse me," Yuri said and got up. He went over to where Khoudia was. Yuri stood by Khoudia's side, listening to her talk to Elizabeth and Sophia. She excused them and dragged him to the lobby.

"It's boring as hell in there," she said. "And they're boring, too." She yawned and scrunched her nose.

"Well, what did you expect?" Yuri asked her. "It's a formal event. Of course, it's going to be boring." Khoudia sucked her teeth and looked at her phone.

"We should tear it the fuck up," she said. Then she made a face as if she had realized something great. "We _should_ tear it the fuck up!" She grabbed Yuri by the shoulders. "They need to learn how to turn up!"

"Or we could _not_ show them how to turn up."

"Come on, Yuri, don't be like that," she whined. "If we don't do this, we're going to be bored to death by the end of the night." She started to shake him. "We need to do this!"

"I think this is a genuinely terrible idea." Khoudia groaned. "Plus, Chris is in there. I'm kind of not okay with doing anything too outrageous when my boyfriend's best friend is in there."

"Come on," she whined. "Don't be like that. We need to party. It's your birthday," she slurred. Yuri sighed. He couldn't believe that he was actually considering tearing the hall the fuck up. "They're all dry as fuck. We deserve better than this."

"Fine," Yuri said, "I'll do this, but _only_ after I have four glasses of champagne." Khoudia jumped and cheered. She held her chest as she jumped.

"This is going to be great!" She said. They walked back into the hall and took their original seats. Chris was smiling. Yuri went over to a table and grabbed a glass of champagne. Khoudia smiled longingly at Yuri. Yuri sipped slowly at his champagne and Khoudia batted her lashes. Chris took out his phone and quickly sent a text to Victor, making him aware of this observation.

Khoudia: Now that I think about it, I should probably try and get rid of Ciao Ciao.

"Khoudia, do not," Yuri said in between sips.

 _ **Khoudia: What? He's going to cramp our style. Our style does not need to be cramped.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Plus, if he stays here, he's just going to yell at us.**_

"I mean, _yeah_ , of course he is," Yuri said. "It's him."

 _ **Khoudia: So far, I have two ideas.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Idea #1: I try to smooth talk him into going back to the hotel, using him talking to his daughter as an excuse.**_  
 _ **: Okay.**_

Yuri took a small sip of champagne and waited for Khoudia to send her second idea.

 _ **Khoudia: Idea #2: We get him drunk.**_  
 _ **: Oh my god.**_

Yuri damn near dropped his champagne when he read that. He sharply inhaled and waited for Khoudia to continue explaining her idea before he would start chastising her.

 _ **Khoudia: We get him drunk and we have one of the coaches take him back to his hotel room.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Being free of our Ciao Ciao and a coach who is friendly with him, we get to tear this place the fuck up without his influence.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: This one could totally work. Ciao Ciao is a total lightweight.**_  
 _ **: And what if one of the other coaches tells him about our behavior? Who is Ciao Ciao going to believe more? Us or another coach?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: They can't prove we did it.**_  
 _ **: Except that they CAN because EVERYONE HAS A CELL PHONE.**_

Yuri took a sip of his champagne and looked at Khoudia. He was really interested in what Khoudia could possibly say in response to his statement.

 _ **Khoudia: We could also take him out back and put him down like a rabid dog.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: But you don't want to do that, do you?**_

Yuri deadpanned.

 _ **Khoudia: Exactly. So it's either we smooth talk him into leaving or we get him drunk and have him removed.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: So take your pick.**_  
 _ **: I guess Idea #2. That one is stronger.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Nice, nice. Let's do this.**_

Yuri and Khoudia nodded at each other. Chris observed the entire thing, confused as to what was actually happening before his eyes. Khoudia took Yuri's champagne flute and finished it for him.

 _ **Khoudia: Now, go get champagne for us, Birthday Boy.**_

"Ciao Ciao, do you want a glass of champagne?" Yuri asked. His voice was hesitant and he hoped that Coach Cialdini wouldn't notice it.

"That would be lovely, Yuri," he said with a smile. Yuri smiled back at him and got up. He came back with three champagne flutes: one for him, one for Coach Cialdini, and one for Khoudia.

 _ **: I hope you know that I have several hang-ups about this.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I know you do. But it's going to be okay.**_

Yuri took a slow sip of his champagne. His phone buzzed; it was Chris.

 _ **Chris: So, what were you and Khoudia discussing?**_  
 _ **Chris: You ~were~ discussing something, right?**_  
 _ **: We were talking about what we were going to do when we get back to the hotel.**_

Chris nodded.

 _ **Chris: And what will you two be doing?**_  
 _ **: Watching anime.**_  
 _ **Chris: Can I join?**_  
 _ **: I don't think there will be enough space.**_

Chris nodded again. Yuri felt his hand touch his knee. He took a sip of champagne and took deep breaths. Khoudia looked over at Yuri and Chris and took a sip of her alcohol. She looked at her nails and sucked her teeth. She thought about changing the shape; they were currently stiletto shaped but she felt like almond or oval was better. She tapped her index finger against her glass.

Yuri was halfway done with his glass when Coach Cialdini finished his. He excused himself from Josef and the table to get another glass. Coach Cialdini was digging his own, drunken grave.

 _ **Khoudia: Who should we ask to take Ciao Ciao back to the hotel?**_  
 _ **: Either Coach Harcourt, Coach Miller, or Christophe's coach.**_  
 _ **: Those are the three that I've seen him interact with the most.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Where is Coach Miller?**_

Yuri gestured with his chin in Khoudia's direction. She was at the table horizontally across from them. Khoudia already knew where Coach Harcourt was; he was with his boring as sin skaters. Khoudia took another sip of her glass. She was itching for things to jump off.

 _ **Khoudia: Hm… Christophe's coach is the closest to us.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Plus, I don't think that Ciao Ciao likes Coach Harcourt like that.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: They just talk but they don't talk talk, you know?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: So I think we should go for Christophe's coach. He's closest and Ciao Ciao seems to like him.**_

Yuri nodded. So they were going to convince Chris' coach to take their coach back to the hotel. How they were going to accomplish _that_ was unknown, but, if they were lucky, Josef would insist on doing it and they would feel minimally bad about allowing him to do it when it was more of their responsibility.

After Yuri and Coach Cialdini's third glass, Coach Cialdini complained of having to lay down. He was drunk now. It went according to plan: Khoudia asked Christophe's coach if he could take their coach back to the hotel. He was very glad to help Yuri and Khoudia with their coach. He said that he was planning on leaving the banquet early anyway. Yuri, Khoudia, and Chris saw their coaches off and kept them company until the Uber arrived.

When the Uber pulled off, that's when the true party began. Khoudia allowed Yuri his final glass of champagne before they would tear the hall up. Khoudia somehow sweet-talked the person who was controlling the music into playing something "different." It all went to hell once Khoudia got control of the music. She started playing an afrobeat x dancehall mix. Everyone on the floor stopped dancing and eventually cleared because they didn't know what to do. Yuri got on the floor and waited for Khoudia to join him. Khoudia started dancing coupé décalé and Yuri tried to keep up with her. He was glad that he had alcohol in his system so that he wouldn't be too anxious about dancing in public.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Christophe get up. Yuri didn't know what he was doing, but it made sense when Chris started dancing alongside them. He didn't know what he was doing, but he was dancing and observing. Chris was doing a lot of observing tonight.

"Dance better!" Khoudia yelled. "I know you can do better!" She stopped her dancing and walked over to the table to get Yuri glasses of champagne. "Drink."

"Are you–"

"I said drink." She took a sip of her glass of champagne. They stood on the floor with the glasses of champagne. Khoudia was two-stepping with her glass; Yuri was standing there, silently sipping. Chris decided to get a glass of champagne and join them in the sipping. Khoudia decided that she couldn't finish her glass so she gave it to Yuri to finish. So Yuri was nursing two glasses of half-filled champagne, alternating in sips. Khoudia went back to the table and got two more glasses – both of them for Yuri.

"Khoudia, I don't know if I'm capable of dancing and drinking."

"Nonsense, I've seen you drink and whine at house parties." Yuri sighed and allowed the music to overtake him. Khoudia was right; he's very capable of drinking and whining. There's video evidence of it. The only thing stopping him from going all out right now was the fact that he was in a suit and that suits are restrictive.

When the song changed, Khoudia started to azonto. Her arms moved wildly and yet in time to the music. Yuri was trying to keep up with her and Khoudia was goading him on. She goaded and goaded and Yuri strove to dance his fiercest and best. After seeing that this was something Chris couldn't hope to compete in – a game he wasn't going to win – he gave up in trying to participate and decided to document this. He needed his Vitya to see all of this.

All. Of. This.

#

 **(Monday, 30 November 2015 – 12:20am, Moscow, Russia)**

Yuri and Khoudia managed to get back to the hotel in one piece. They danced until they wanted to drop. If it was possible, they would've danced even after they collapsed from exhaustion.

As Yuri crawled into bed next to Khoudia, he realized something: They have a reputation now. Not only are they one of the few people of color, they're going to be branded as the two party animals who make everyone uncomfortable. He felt his stomach churn at the thought. Yuri looked over at Khoudia, she was already asleep – or so it seemed. Yuri, despite being physically exhausted, was still wound up.

He couldn't wait until he crashed from this episode.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: Khoudia said "Happy Birthday" in Wolof (first), Soninke (second), and French (third) so have fun with that.


	63. Chapter 63

Ryuugazaki: It's almost Christmas.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Three  
 **(Tuesday, 1 December 2015 – 4:12pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Coach Cialdini, Yuri, and Khoudia were back from Russia. The banquet was a riot even though Yuri and Khoudia – and, occasionally, Chris – were the only ones rioting. The exhibition skate went very well, too. They even got to see the Gogol House before they stepped on the ice. Right now, Yuri and Khoudia were walking up the stairs to Yuri's apartment. Khoudia had dropped her bags off and somehow convinced her parents to let her come over to Yuri's home. Yuri would have to ask Khoudia how she managed to do that, but right now he was focused on making it to the top of the stairs.

"Dad!" Adé yelled form down the hall. He came from the apartment that was blasting Erykah Badu. "I've missed you and Mom!" They ran towards Yuri and Khoudia as fast as they could and they jumped. Yuri immediately dropped all of his bags to catch his son. Adé squeezed his dad and reached out towards Khoudia to bring them into the hug. Instead, Khoudia just kissed Adé's forehead when Yuri set them down to pick up his bags. "I'll help you."

"Where's Phichit?" Khoudia asked.

"He's watching the stove."

"And Masabeeh and Tal'at?"

"They're at the dorm catching up on work." The three of them started walking to the apartment. "So it's just us tonight! You don't mind, do you?" Adé asked.

"We don't mind, baby," Khoudia said. "It'd be nice to have a family dinner."

"Well, your family isn't here so go home," Yuri said.

"What do you mean my family isn't here?" Khoudia asked. "I have my co-parent and my sons here tonight." Khoudia opened the door for Yuri and Adé. "So my family is here. So shut up." Yuri and Adé stepped through the threshold and Adé locked it behind them. They set the bags by the door and turned down On & On. Yuri went into the kitchen. He wanted to see Phichit ASAP.

"Lapinou!" Yuri yelled when he stood at the mouth of the kitchen entrance. Phichit practically jumped on Yuri when he turned around. Yuri gave Phichit a kiss and spun him around.

"Ma poupée!" Phichit gushed. Yuri put Phichit down and gave him another kiss. "I've missed you so much!" Phichit stroked Yuri's face. "Go put your bags away. The food is almost done, I think." Yuri nodded and went back into the living room to grab his bags. Khoudia had somehow disappeared between stepping inside and Yuri going into the kitchen. So did Adé.

So Yuri lugged his bags to the bedroom he shared and was floored when he saw what had been done. There were balloons floating in the air and gift bags on his bed. Phichit had changed his bed sheets, too. Yuri tentatively walked over to his bed and tried to absorb what he was seeing.

"Happy birthday!" Adé and Khoudia yelled. Yuri felt tears come to his eyes. "Are you okay?" Adé asked. They walked over to Yuri and wrapped their delicate arms around him. "Papa," they murmured. Yuri slumped to the floor, keeping his eyes on his bed.

"Happy," Yuri said. He smiled and thought back to his childhood. He would say "happy" as a vocal stim because he liked how it made him feel. "Happy."

"Do you like this?" Khoudia asked as she started to gather up the balloons. "Shit, maybe we shouldn't have gotten the balloons," Khoudia said to Adé. Adé started to move the bags off of the bed. "We just wanted to surprise you for your birthday. I _know_ I got you a cupcake and we went shopping when we were in Moscow, but we thought it would be nice for you to have something at home… So here we are." Khoudia had all of the balloons in her hand. Yuri sprung up; he took them out of her hands and let them go. "Are you okay with this? We're sorry we sprung this on you so suddenly." Yuri nodded.

"Happy," he said. Adé stood there like a bump on a log with the bags in their hands. "Happy."

"Um, Dad, are you okay?" Adé asked. "You're not using many of your words right now." Yuri pulled Adé and Khoudia into a hug. He whispered "happy" and smiled. "I guess he likes this, Mom." Yuri let go of Khoudia and Adé and ran back into the kitchen. He couldn't let Phichit slide.

"Did you see your surprise?" Phichit coolly asked. He didn't take his eyes off of the oven. Yuri picked Phichit up and spun him. "Do you like it?" He asked. Yuri have Phichit a kiss and put him down. "I'm glad you like this. I was worried that you'd have a meltdown or something because of the surprise and I changed the sheets on your bed." Phichit fanned himself. "Ma poupée, can you open a window? I've been in this hot ass kitchen all day." Yuri walked over to one of the windows and cracked a window. "Thank you, lapinou." Yuri walked back over to Phichit and stood next to him. "You know, while you were gone, I got the idea that angel hair pasta was too basic so I had Adé help me brainstorm some stuff to make you." Phichit cracked the oven to peek inside. "Then we had to factor in Khoudia – we always have to factor in Khoudia – and all the ideas I had _had_ to go out of the window." Yuri nodded. "So I hope that you don't mind all of the black Southern cuisine… And the other black Southernisms. Adé insisted that Erykah Badu was played as they cooked."

After minutes of silence, Yuri spoke up. "I've been to cookouts with Yohani and Diosmari. I'll be fine." But then Yuri remembered something. "But isn't Adé Haitian?"

"I am!" Adé said as they walked past the kitchen. They were holding the gift bags. "But my birth dad's side of the family is from the South and it'd be a damn shame if I didn't suggest anything that we all can eat and was tasty _and_ was clean for Khoudia."

"Adé, you still have to explain to me what you mean by 'Southern Haitian,'" Phichit said.

"Yeah, yeah, I will," Adé said. They came into the kitchen when they were done in the living room. "Did you check the macaroni and cheese?" Phichit stepped aside and opened the oven for Adé. He pulled the grate with a dishrag and uncovered the macaroni and cheese. "Oh man, this looks good." Adé moaned. "This brings me back to my childhood." Yuri walked over to an aluminum pan and uncovered it. There was fried chicken in there.

"And this makes me think it's Christmas," Yuri said.

"Christmas?" Adé said. He was looking back at Yuri, looking at the chicken.

"Yeah, we eat KFC for Christmas. It's a tradition." Adé nodded and went to pull out another pan. "What else are you looking at?"

"Peach cobbler. I made it myself using my Nana's recipe." Adé smiled. "May Nana Anaïse rest in power." Adé uncovered the peach cobbler and smiled. "Okay, this is done. Phichit, you can take this out now." Adé covered the peach cobbler and gave Phichit the dishrag.

"Why are you giving me this? Give me the gloves!" Adé passed the oven mitts to Phichit and he took it out and placed it on a stove eye. "You have ice cream, don't you?"

"What kind of ice cream?" Phichit asked.

"Vanilla." Phichit checked the freezer. "Do you have it?" He shook his head. "Someone has to run out and get it." Adé looked at Phichit. "I said –"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you," Phichit said. "Let me just get dressed and I'll run out and get it." Phichit left the kitchen and Adé followed behind him. Yuri hadn't seen Khoudia come out of the room so he went back there to check on her. She was trying to tie the balloons to a notch on the bed post. Phichit had ignored her trying to tie the balloons together. He was changing.

"So where are you going, Phichit?" Khoudia asked once she thought that she had the strings tied.

"Supermarket. Adé said that we need vanilla ice cream."

"For what?"

"The peach cobbler," Phichit said. "You know, Adé did most of the cooking for tonight." Phichit took off his pajama pants and went in his drawer for a pair of sweatpants. He grabbed the hoodie off of the desk. "I wonder if Adé would be okay with whipped cream."

"Whipped cream works, too," Adé said from the doorway. "Take your pick on which one you want."

"Which one did Nana Anaïse use?"

"When she was a little girl – when her family could afford it, that is – they used vanilla ice cream." Adé yawned. "Have you made up your mind on what you're getting?" Phichit nodded. "Nice. I gotta pee, though."

"Then go pee," Khoudia said. "You won't be missing anything." Phichit pulled the hoodie over his head and put his arm in the sleeves. Adé nodded and went to use the bathroom. Khoudia sat on Yuri's bed, still trying with the balloons.

"Khoudia, you don't have to tie the balloons."

"I _know_ , but I don't want them to be free floating," she said. Yuri took the balloons out of her hands and tied them to the closet door. It didn't take long at all. "Just making me look bad right now," Khoudia said. She started to laugh. Phichit got his scarf off of the back of a chair and wrapped it around his neck. He left the room and went into the living room for his shoes and coat. Yuri yawned. "I'm tired, too."

"You didn't have to come over."

"I _know_ , but I wanted to be here for the surprise." Khoudia yawned and relaxed. "Have you checked your phone?" Yuri shook his head; his phone was still in his coat. He went back into the living room and went to his coat. Phichit was sitting on the sofa, putting his sneakers on. Yuri bent down to kiss Phichit's forehead. Phichit smiled.

"What are you doing in here?"

"I came to get my phone." Phichit nodded. Yuri reached into his coat pocket and took it out. He flopped on the sofa. "See? It was gotten." Phichit nodded again. He tied his left shoe and went to put on his coat.

"Don't set the apartment on fire while I'm gone," Phichit said. Yuri nodded. They heard the toilet flush and the faucet run. "And don't forget to ask Adé about the macaroni and cheese." Yuri nodded. "I'll be off now."

"Do you have your keys? And your wallet?" Yuri asked. Phichit went into the kitchen to get his keys. Then he patted his pockets to feel for his wallet; it was in his right pocket. "Do you have everything?" Phichit nodded. "Alright," Yuri said. "We'll hold down the fort for you."

"Good!" Phichit said. And, with that, Phichit was off. Yuri locked the door behind him and flopped on the love seat. Would he really be able to eat with his rink mates tonight? He could barely keep his eyes open right now. What if – by some unfortunate stroke of luck – he fell face first into the macaroni and cheese Adé and Phichit put so much love and devotion into? Not only would it be embarrassing for Yuri, he felt that it would be disrespectful to Phichit, Adé, and the macaroni and cheese. Yuri yawned and unlocked his phone. He had a text from Victor.

 _ **Victor: Are you back in Detroit?**_  
 _ **: I am.**_  
 _ **Victor: I want to see you.**_  
 _ **Victor: When is our date?**_  
 _ **: Erm… Thursday? Are you busy Thursday?**_

Yuri yawned and stared up at the ceiling. He was snapped out of his trance when he heard his phone ping.

 _ **Victor: I'll make myself not busy.**_  
 _ **Victor: What time?**_  
 _ **: 7pm.**_  
 _ **Victor: What are we doing?**_  
 _ **: We can go to this Cajun restaurant downtown.**_

Adé came out of the bathroom and sat in the living room. "Did Phichit leave already?" Yuri nodded. Adé left the living room to go in the kitchen. Yuri heard the stove open and Adé say something under their breath. They took the aluminum pan out of the oven and set it on another stove eye. If Yuri was interpreting everything correctly, the macaroni and cheese was done and Adé couldn't wait to dig into it. Adé removed the macaroni and cheese from the oven and put it on another stove eye. They were excited and satisfied.

Yuri felt his eyelids droop. His phone pinged.

 _ **Victor: Is it good?**_  
 _ **: I've had a Doberge cake from there. It was really good.**_  
 _ **Victor: So we'll go there. Do you want me to meet you or do you want to meet me?**_

Khoudia came into the living room and flopped on the sofa. She yawned. "I'm so tired."

Yuri looked over at Adé. They turned off the oven and came into the living room. They flopped on the sofa next to Khoudia and rested their head on her shoulder. "You didn't have to come over," Yuri reminded her. Khoudia made an incomprehensible sound and cuddled up to Adé. Yuri looked at his phone.

 _ **: I can meet you.**_

Yuri yawned and looked over at Khoudia and Adé. He took a picture of them and posted it to his story on Snapchat and captioned it: mother and son ((heart with bow emoji)) Yuri yawned again. Khoudia stroked Adé's back. Despite Khoudia loathing children and loathing the idea of motherhood, she loves her Adé like a mother loves her child. Maybe Khoudia had the right idea when she said that she was with her family. When did they become a family? How? Earlier Yuri surely would've described their arrangement as such, but he was at a loss for when and how this all came together.

"Dad," Adé said. Yuri didn't respond. " _Dad_ ," Adé said again. "Dad!" Adé threw their sock at Yuri's face.

"What?!" Yuri yelled when he got a whiff of Adé's sock. They need to wash them ASAP.

"Why do you look so dead?"

"Because I haven't slept in days," Yuri said. He threw Adé's sock back at them. "Wash your crusty ass socks." Khoudia giggled. Yuri yawned. Adé put their sock back on their foot and buried their nose into Khoudia's neck. Yuri yawned again and looked at his phone.

 _ **Victor: So,** **wyd** **now that you're back in Detroit?**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **: That's Adé and Khoudia. They're going to be eating with Phichit and me tonight.**_

Yuri had sent the picture he posted on Snapchat to Victor. It was a cute photo and Yuri loved it. It was soft and sweet and fitting for the both of them.

 _ **Victor: They're black?**_  
 _ **: Very.**_  
 _ **: What did you expect?**_  
 _ **Victor: Idk. I guess I just didn't expect it.**_

"Who are you talking to?" Khoudia asked. Khoudia had been looking at Yuri look at his phone.

"Victor," he said.

"'Victor' who?" Adé asked.

"My boyfriend," Yuri told his son.

"You have a boyfriend?!" Adé rolled out of Khoudia's embrace and onto the floor. They scrambled up and over to Yuri. "Let me see!" Yuri went to his photos and showed Adé a picture of him. "Dad, that's just your celebrity crush." Yuri smirked.

"No it's not," Yuri said. He looked for the group of selfies they took at the park. "See? That's my boyfriend."

"Are _**you**_ telling _**me**_ that Victor Nikiforov is not only in Detroit, but is dating my father?!" Adé yelled. Yuri and Khoudia nodded. "And you knew, Mom?!"

"No one told me until recently," Khoudia said. She took out her phone and started texting. "I was just as surprised as you." Adé laid face down on the floor and started to make sobbing sounds.

"Are you okay?" Yuri asked, touching his son's right calf with his foot.

"I'm not okay," Adé said. Yuri gently patted Adé's back with his foot. "I'm really not okay right now." Yuri nodded and took a flick of Adé laying on the floor. "This is the biggest secret that's ever been kept from me," Adé moaned. "I can't believe this. I'm not okay."

When Phichit came back with the ice cream, Adé was still laying on the floor. "What is going on here?" Phichit said. He locked the door and kicked off his shoes. He quickly put the ice cream in the freezer and then came back to the living room. He was taking off his coat when he poked Adé in the ribs.

"Ah!"

"Oh good, you're alive," Phichit said. "Why are you on the floor?"

"Because Dad is dating Victor Nikiforov and no one told me," Adé said. They rolled on their front and yawned. "No one told me this. I feel betrayed."

"So did your mother when it was revealed."

"I'm still hurt about it," Khoudia said. "But Phichit is back and I'm hungry." Khoudia squatted and patted Adé's behind. "Get up. It's time to eat." Khoudia stepped over Adé and went into the kitchen. Yuri got up and picked Adé up to put them on the loveseat.

"Mom!" Adé yelled.

"Yeah?" Khoudia poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Can you fix me a plate?" Adé asked.

"Yes, baby," Khoudia said. She returned to the interior of the kitchen and got plates out of the cabinet. Khoudia gave Adé a big scoop of macaroni and cheese and a chicken breast. "What do you want to drink?"

"The sweet tea I made is in the fridge." Khoudia nodded and went back into the kitchen. When she was doing that, Yuri and Phichit were fixing their plates. Khoudia poured sweet tea for all of them and brought a glass to Adé. Then Khoudia went back into the kitchen for the final time and came out with her plate and sweet tea. She took a seat next to Adé and Adé passed Khoudia her phone. Khoudia took a sip of the sweet tea and made a face. "What? Is it not enough sugar?" Adé asked. Yuri and Phichit came out of the kitchen and sat on the sofa.

"No, it's _too_ sweet!" Yuri looked at the glass of sweet tea.

"Oh, good. I made it correctly then." Khoudia looked aghast. "You need to have a lot of sugar in sweet teas. Only way to make sure that it's right."

"I have diabetes!" Khoudia yelled.

"Already?" Adé asked. "Well, we can't pour your tea back into the jug." Ade scratched their face. "Y'all got a funnel I can use?" Phichit nodded. "Also, do you have something Mom can drink?" Phichit nodded. "Great. I'm pouring my tea back in. We are not about to waste this tea." Adé got up and grabbed their glass. "We got you, Mom." Phichit and Adé went into the kitchen with Adé's untouched glass of sweet tea and figured out what they could give her to drink.

"Do you have enough insulin on you?" Yuri asked. Khoudia nodded. "You should check your sugar." Yuri got up and went to his carry on bag. He had Khoudia's meter and glycogen on him the entire time that they were in Russia. Yuri came back into the living room with Khoudia's meter. She checked her sugar; it was within normal range. The dread in Yuri's chest dissipated once he saw the number. Phichit and Adé came back from the kitchen. Adé was holding a can of Cherry Coke. He gave it and a straw to Khoudia.

"Thank you," she said. Adé sat down and Khoudia kissed her baby's cheek. Khoudia opened the can and took a sip of soda. She took a bite of macaroni and cheese and made a face.

"What?" Adé asked. "Is it not good?" Khoudia swallowed and smiled. "Mom?"

"Adé, this is great!" Yuri and Phichit simultaneously looked at the macaroni and cheese. "You two need to taste it!" Yuri and Phichit took a forkful of macaroni and cheese and ate. It was good – really good. Adé took a bite of the chicken breast as their parents and Phichit ate their macaroni and cheese. By the time Adé finished eating their chicken, Yuri, Khoudia, and Phichit finished eating their macaroni and cheese. They were blown away by how good and cheesy it was.

"So Olivia is back," Adé said as they wiped their fingers. "Do I have to start calling them mom now, too?" Khoudia made a face.

"No," Khoudia said.

"Okay, good," Adé said. "Because I don't want to call them 'mom.'"

"We're not going to make you call them 'mom' if you don't want to," Khoudia said.

"We don't even make you call us 'mom' or 'dad,'" Yuri pointed out. "It's not in our place to make that decision for you."

"I just wanted to make sure," Adé said. "What are you going to do when she actually comes back?" They put down their plate and looked at the floor.

"I don't know," Yuri said.

"How do you not know?" Khoudia asked. "You're going to dinner with her tomorrow."

"What?!" Phichit yelled. "You're going to dinner with her?! You told me that you weren't going to see her!"

"I _thought_ I wasn't going to see her!" Yuri said, equally as loud. "But I am." Yuri looked at his food. "I'm going to see her." He let that soak in. He was going to see Olivia tomorrow. He was really going to see her. Soon there was a new breed of dread residing in his chest. He was really going to see her tomorrow.

You know who else he was going to see tomorrow?

Victor.

Yuri sighed. He didn't know how he was going to tell Victor that this dinner with Olivia was imminent. "Do you need me to pick out your clothes for tomorrow?" Phichit asked. Yuri nodded. "Okay, I'll do that later." There was an uncomfortable silence between all four of them.

"Victor knows I'm a figure skater now," Yuri said, trying to break the silence. "Christophe told him and Victor watched me skate."

"Tragic, just tragic," Adé said, tongue-in-cheek.

"Adé, stop being salty that no one told you about Victor," Phichit said. "Even Khoudia wasn't that salty." Phichit picked up his chicken leg. "And Khoudia is the Monarch of Salt." Phichit took a bite out of his leg.

"It's true. I'm the Monarch of Salt," Khoudia said.

"Fuck! I forgot the hot sauce!" Adé bounced up and went into the kitchen. Yuri got up and followed Adé. "Dad, where's the hot sauce?" Yuri went into the cabinet to the top left of the stove and got the hot sauce. He gave it to Adé. "Thank you." They went back into the living room and Adé put the hot sauce on the coffee table. "In case any of y'all have a hankering for hot sauce on your chicken."

"The chicken has enough flavor and spice. I don't think the hot sauce would be necessary," Phichit said.

"Well, take the hot sauce anyway," Adé said. They sat down. Khoudia was silently eating her chicken. She stopped and reached for the hot sauce. Phichit looked at her.

"You gotta put hot sauce on your chicken," Khoudia said. She put some on her thigh and ate. "So, Yuri, did Victor make any plans with you for your birthday?"

"He doesn't know when my birthday is," Yuri said. He took a bite of his chicken breast and chewed. Khoudia, Adé, and Phichit were all deadpan. "What?"

"How does your boyfriend not know when your birthday is?" Adé asked. He was absolutely flustered. "Why haven't you told him?"

"He never asked."

"I didn't ask if he asked," Khoudia said. Yuri looked over at her, squinting. Yuri wasn't talking to her. "I said 'why haven't you told him?'"

"First of all, Adé said that. Not you," Yuri said.

"Aah, I know what was said," Khoudia said. "You tell him when your birthday is." She sucked her teeth and resumed eating her chicken. Yuri looked at Adé; they shrugged and dabbed some hot sauce on their chicken breast.

 _ **Victor: So what are you doing with Adé and Khoudia?**_  
 _ **: Well, Phichit came back from getting ice cream so right now we're eating dinner.**_  
 _ **Victor: You're eating ice cream for dinner?**_  
 _ **: No. Adé and Phichit made this special meal so we're eating that. The ice cream is part of the dessert.**_  
 _ **: Actually, it was less Phichit and more Adé. Phichit helped, but it was mostly Adé that did the work.**_

Yuri looked at the hot sauce, debating on if he should put some on his chicken. Adé saw this internal struggle and just passed the hot sauce to Yuri. "Try it, Dad," they said. Yuri tentatively took the hot sauce and dabbed it on the chicken breast. He took a bite and decided that he liked this. Adé nodded in approval of Yuri being in approval of this.

"So who's idea was it to put hot sauce on chicken?" Yuri asked.

"I don't know, but I know that you just do it and it's really good," Adé said. "It's good, right?" Yuri nodded. Khoudia reached for the hot sauce again and Yuri passed it to her. "I should cook for y'all more often. Y'all need this." Yuri, Phichit, and Khoudia make various sounds and gestures of agreement. "And I need this, too. Jordan hates it when I cook for them."

"Speaking of Jordan," Phichit said, "how are they?"

"Jordan's fine," Adé said. They finished up their chicken breast and continued to eat their macaroni and cheese. There was another uncomfortable silence.

"We don't like Jordan," Khoudia blurted out.

"I know," Adé said as they took a sip of Khoudia's abandoned sweet tea. "I'd have to be as dense as Dad to not notice that." Yuri looked at Adé and finished their chicken breast.

"We think you should leave them," Khoudia said.

"I know," Adé said again and took another sip of sweet tea.

"Will you ever leave?" Phichit asked.

"I'll leave once I get myself situated," Adé said.

"And how long will that take?" Yuri asked. Adé shrugged. They finished their food and went to throw out the chicken bones. They placed their plate in the sink and returned to drink their sweet tea. "We just want you to be okay."

"And I'll be okay," Adé said. "I know what I'm doing. Just trust me." Yuri nodded and resumed eating. "Y'all don't believe me, do you?"

"It's not that we don't believe you," Khoudia said. "We just want this to be over as soon as possible. I've said that you can stay with me several times. My parents won't mind!"

"Your parents are Muslim," Adé stressed. "I'm transgender and I do Vodoun. They won't want me there."

"They don't _care_ that you're trans and do voodoo, Adé," Khoudia said.

"They don't _care_ or they don't _know_? Because there's a difference, Mom." Adé asked. Khoudia remained silent. "I won't risk it. I'm grateful that you want to help me, but I just won't risk it." There was another uncomfortable silence. They've talked about Victor, Olivia, and Jordan and now they were all feeling uncomfortable.

"Are we all done here?" Phichit asked as he got up. "We should have dessert now. I can't wait to taste Adé's Nana's peach cobbler." Phichit took all of the plates into the kitchen and dumped the chicken bones. He placed the plates in the sink and poked his head out of the kitchen. "Come get your own damn dessert. I'm not doing this. This ain't IHOP." Phichit poked his head back into the kitchen. Adé was the first to get up to get some dessert. Yuri checked his phone.

 _ **: /Now/ we're eating dessert.**_  
 _ **Victor: What's for dessert?**_  
 _ **: Adé made peach cobbler.**_  
 _ **Victor: Is it good?**_  
 _ **: Idk. I haven't tried it yet.**_

Yuri forced himself up and stretched. He might as well get some cobbler before Adé devours all of it. Khoudia was still sitting when Yuri started to go to the kitchen. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine," Khoudia said. She wiped her face and took a deep breath. "I'll tell you later. Let's go get dessert." Yuri nodded. Khoudia got up and followed Yuri into the kitchen. They all got their peach cobbler and returned to the living room.

"I didn't get carded when I bought wine recently," Phichit said, trying to bring life back into the room. "It was an exhilarating experience."

"It's not exhilarating when you get caught," Adé said. "Next time, just have one of us go with you and buy it for you."

"I would've had Yuri do it, but he was in Moscow getting his back blown out." Yuri looked up from his cobbler to look at Phichit. "And, speaking of getting backs blown out, Yuri, you better not sleep with Victor tomorrow." Adé choked.

"What?!" Adé yelled.

"Khoudia, what did you tell Phichit about our sleepover?!" Yuri yelled. Khoudia started cackling. "I was _not_ getting my back blown out!"

"Well, then Khoudia interpreted Christophe flirting with you entirely wrong!" Phichit yelled back. Khoudia cackled harder. Adé slumped to the floor in defeat. Yuri got on the floor next to Adé and started to pat his head.

"Look, you've misinterpreted me. All I was saying was that Chris was _looking_ at Yuri like he wants to blow his back out." Phichit made a face. "See? Misinterpreted. Just going around, spreading these fallacious rumors. How you feel, Phichit?"

"Shut up, Khoudia," Phichit said.

"I am still so confused," Yuri said.

"Same!" Adé said. "When did Victor and Dad start fucking? When did y'all find out? Why didn't I know? What happened at this sleepover?" Adé sat up and extended their legs. "I demand answers." Adé looked over at Yuri. They wanted answers and they wanted them now.

"Victor and I became physically… I don't have to explain this to you." Yuri took a spoonful of ice cream and ate. "Khoudia could tell you all about the sleepover, though." He gave Khoudia a sympathetic look and shrugged.

"Someone needs to bring me up to speed on everything," Adé said. They looked over at Phichit. "Phichit." Phichit grimaced. "Phichit, tell me everything."

"Okay, so," he started. Yuri groaned. "This wouldn't have happened if you had just told us! Now I have to explain it to Adé because you don't want to talk about it!" Yuri rolled his eyes and had a bite of the actual cobbler. It was good. Really good. "So Yuri and Victor started sleeping with each other after their first date, but they've been talking since the beginning of the semester."

"Since the _beginning_ of the semester," Adé repeated.

"Yes!" Phichit wailed. "You didn't know for the same reasons that Khoudia and I didn't know. Yuri just didn't tell us. We actually found this out when Victor went over to Japan for the NHK event… Well, it's less like we 'found out' and more like we took the leap and told Yuri that we think that and he didn't deny it." Adé sucked their teeth and looked at Yuri.

"So my dad is fucking Victor Nikiforov."

"It only happened twice," Yuri said.

"So what happened the second time?" Khoudia said, smirking. Yuri looked at the melting vanilla ice cream. He really wished that the floor could swallow him up right now. He isn't used to his sexual habits being under scrutiny. "You hoed out, didn't you?" She accused.

"It wasn't exactly like that."

"It was _exactly_ like that," Khoudia said. She and Phichit laughed and took a bite of the peach cobbler. Khoudia made a face in approval of the dessert Adé made.

"I am not that much of a hoe," Yuri asserted.

"But you _are_ admitting that you are a hoe," Phichit said.

"This brings me back to that guy," Khoudia wistfully said. "Remember that guy that you were telling me about when you were a sophomore? Was it Marcus? I feel like it was Marcus."

"It was not Marcus," Yuri said.

"It was Paul," Adé said.

"You're all wrong. It's something white. Something like Chad or Chadwick," Phichit said.

"It turns out all three of you are idiots. It was Jason," Yuri said. "And this is _nothing_ like him," Yuri spoke, anticipating their next question. "Victor actually likes me like I like him." Yuri took a bite of cobbler. "This is a good cobbler, Adé. I thank you from the bottom of my heart."

"Thank you, Dad, but don't try and get off topic." Adé took a bite of the dessert they made.

"And what _is_ the topic, Adé?" Yuri asked.

"That Victor brings out your inner hoe." Yuri rolled his eyes. "And that you've only been this bad for two other people… that we know of." Adé took a big bite of their cobbler.

"Why can't we just discuss Phichit?"

"Because I'm asexual and I'm not trying to get involved with anyone during college," Phichit sassed. Yuri looked at Phichit; he was smirking.

"What about Khoudia? Khoudia, how is that girl you met at the bar?" Yuri frantically asked.

"She's fine. Her girlfriend is fine, too," she said. "But back to _you_." Yuri groaned and rolled his eyes. "How is Victor different from Jason? And Olivia? I need an explanation."

"He…" Yuri was lacking words right now. How could he put into words the way Victor makes him feel? How could he word this in such a way that was apt and wouldn't cause his rink mates to laugh at him? "I don't know how to put it. He makes me feel different." Yuri took another bite of the cobbler; he was halfway finished with it now. "I don't know how to word it. But I like him a lot."

"And you have to tell him that," Khoudia says with a mouthful of cobbler.

"I told him to listen to this song. It puts how I feel in words."

"You can't do that," Phichit chastised. "Well, you _can_ , but it's better to have these things told to you. It makes it more meaningful." Yuri rolled his eyes. Phichit snapped his fingers. "You know what you should do? You need a grand gesture to display how you feel! That's what'll seal the deal!"

"Wouldn't something more small and intimate be better?" Yuri questioned. "It's me and it's Victor. We're usually… I don't know. We've been pretty quiet about all of this." Yuri looked at his fingertips. Adé shrugged.

"I haven't had this problem in almost two years," Adé mused. Then their phone started to ring. "And that should be my partner." Adé got up and walked over to their phone. They unplugged it from the auxiliary cord and answered the call. "Yeah?" They said. "Sorry, sorry." Phichit, Yuri, and Khoudia fell into silence, all trying to focus on Adé's conversation. "I'm sorry. I'm not just saying that." Yuri took a bite of cobbler. He put the rim of the bowl against his lips and slurped at the melted vanilla ice cream. "I'm leaving once I finish my peach cobbler." Adé sighed. "They had just come in and I wanted to see them, remember? Aren't I allowed to see my parents?" Yuri took another bite of cobbler. "You're right. I'm sorry." Phichit made a face of disapproval. "I'll leave once the cobbler is finished. I'll call you when I'm on my way home." Khoudia looked over at Adé. "I promise that I'll call you when I'm on my way. Bye." The call ended. Yuri, Phichit, and Khoudia made themselves look busy, but it was for naught. Adé knew damn well that everyone was listening in and that they were formulating their opinions.

"Jordan?" Khoudia said, breaking the silence. She knew it was Jordan. They all knew that it was Jordan.

"Jordan," Adé said as they walked back to their seat. They finished their peach cobbler and took a sip of their iced tea. They all remained painfully silent. "What? Isn't anyone going to say anything?" Adé leaned back on the loveseat. "Jordan might've called, but that doesn't mean that we can't have a cheerful conversation. Do you really hate Jordan so much that they suck the life out of you?"

"Yes," Yuri said. Adé awkwardly chuckled.

"We should start opening gifts," Khoudia said. She was trying to rejuvenate the room. She was really trying. "I think you're really going to like Phichit's gift!" Khoudia got up to get the gift bags. She snatched them up and placed them in front of Yuri. Khoudia smiled joyfully. Yuri held Khoudia's face in his hands and kissed her forehead. Khoudia gushed. "Start with this one. I think you'll like this one." Khoudia placed the small bag in Yuri's lap. She sat back next to Adé.

Yuri opened the gift bag and took the item out. "It's a pencil case," Yuri muttered. He examined the pouch. It was beige and had a floral design. It was a cute case.

"Nope! Open it! Open all of it!" Phichit beamed. Yuri unzipped the larger pouch. There was a chew necklace in the shape of a lotus flower and a chew lanyard. Phichit gestured for Yuri to continue. Yuri opened the smaller pouch. There was a black spinner ring and a bead ring in that one. Yuri took out the bead ring and ran it over the back of his hand. "Do you like it?" Phichit asked. He grabbed on to Yuri's arm. "I thought you'd need less conspicuous ways to stim so I thought that stim toys would be a good fit! The chew toys might be toeing the line, but the bead ring and the spinner ring should be good!" Yuri looked down at the pouch with the stim toys. "And I changed your sheets because I got you a weighted blanket. It's really snug and that might be nice for you. I was able to find one with stars on it since I know you like stars." Phichit smiled. "Do you like it?" Yuri zipped up the pouch and put it on the table. He gave Phichit a tight hug.

"Happy," Yuri murmured. Phichit returned the hug and made it tighter than Yuri's.

"I'm glad that you like it. I was worried that you wouldn't." Yuri smiled and Phichit let go. He put the pouch on the coffee table and looked at it. He could get used to having stim toys.

"Open mine next!" Adé wailed. They passed Yuri a small, folded brown bag. "It might not be much – it really isn't much – but it's the only thing I could think of. I really hope that you like it." Yuri unfolded the brown bag and reached into it. He pulled out a set of small, white seed beads that had two large, coral colored beads on it. "I had it blessed for you," Adé said.

"What do I do with it?"

"Put it on." Yuri put the beaded necklace around his neck. He looked at it. "Do you like it?" Yuri nodded. "I'm glad! I thought you wouldn't like it."

"What do I do with it when I want to take it off?"

"Reach back in the bag," Adé said. There was a white handkerchief at the bottom of the bag. He pulled it out and touched it. It was soft. "You put it in there." Yuri nodded. He folded the handkerchief and placed it on top of the stim toys pouch.

Khoudia decided that now was the time to cut in. "I actually got you something, too, but it's actually in my suitcase at home." Yuri nodded. "I'll give you mine later. Open Masa and Tal'at's gift next." Khoudia shoved a bag over to Yuri with her foot. Yuri reached into the pastel pink bag. There was a moderately sized item wrapped in paper in it. Yuri carefully undid the paper wrapping and saw the spines of books. It was The Essential Rumi, Lolita and The Bell Jar.

"Masa said that you could use a new book to read," Adé said. "So she gave you The Essential Rumi. Then Tal'at, thinking we were doing a book exchange, gave you Lolita and The Bell Jar." Adé smiled. "She was kind of disappointed to discover that we were not doing a book exchange, but she said that you can keep the books anyway." Yuri smiled. He could try and expand his literature palate some more. He was already reading Crime and Punishment; what harm would reading three more books do? Yuri smiled and put the three books next to the stim pouch and eleke handkerchief. Phichit placed his face against Yuri's arm.

"I wonder what Victor would've gotten you if he knew about your birthday," Phichit mused aloud. Khoudia muttered something and Phichit gasped. "That's so dirty, Khoudia!"

"It's true, though!" Khoudia said. "Now that I think about it, you could be finer than aged wine and have trash dick game."

"It's true. You can," Adé said. "My ex-boyfriend, Flynn, was pretty hot, but his dick game was awful." Yuri started laughing. "Dad even knows that it's true."

"It's true," Yuri murmured.

"You should know," Khoudia said.

"Wait, what?!" Adé yelled. Adé was shook and so was Yuri. "What?" They yelled.

"That was a joke, you two," Khoudia said, stroking Adé's shoulder. "I was joking." Khoudia took a sip of her cherry coke. She had finished her peach cobbler while Yuri was opening Phichit's gift. "You two are easy to mess around with." Khoudia started to laugh.

"To our detriment!" Adé said and nudged their mother. "You could say _one_ thing and have us die, Mom."

"Such a dangerous power I wield," Khoudia said. "I must be careful not to abuse it." She took a sip of cherry coke. Adé took a sip of Khoudia's cherry coke, too. "Doesn't mean I won't fuck around with it from time to time."

"Khoudia, you're honestly awful," Phichit said. "You had me thinking things. Things that I do not think about. Things I don't _want_ to think about." Khoudia laughed and shrugged.

Adé got up and stretched. "I think I should get going. Jordan is probably furiously texting me about… something. I don't know. Something Jordan gets mad about."

"So you mean everything?" Yuri asked.

Adé spoke after a beat. "Yes." They hesitated, grabbed their phone, and put on their coat. "Also, you can call me 'he' now." Adé was halfway out of the door when Yuri, Khoudia, and Phichit called him back.

"What do you mean by 'you can call me 'he' now'?" Khoudia asked.

"I meant what I said. Call me 'he' now." Adé closed the door and stood in front of it, clutching the doorknob. "I want to be referred to with masculine pronouns now. Can you respect that?" Khoudia, Yuri, and Phichit nodded.

"Of course we can," Khoudia said. She got up and approached Adé. "But why do you think that you can drop a bombshell like that and just leave?" Khoudia embraced Adé tenderly. "We love you." Phichit got up and joined in on the hug. Yuri sat there and looked at them. "Yuri, join in on the hug," Khoudia commanded.

"Must I?" Yuri asked.

"Yes!" Khoudia hissed. Yuri got up and threw his arms around Khoudia, Phichit, and Adé. Khoudia got on her toes and kissed Adé's forehead and directed Yuri to do the same. "You need to get back before Jordan starts to get angrier. We'll text you." Adé nodded. He grabbed the doorknob, opened the door, and left with a weight off of his chest.

"Well that was nice," Phichit said. He stretched.

"Phichit," Khoudia said, "you've done enough tonight. Yuri and I will do the dishes."

"Praise be because I was not looking forward to doing it." Phichit got up and put the macaroni and cheese, chicken, and peach cobbler in the fridge. "I'm going to take a well-deserved nap now." Yuri got up and went into the kitchen. He started running hot water over the plates. Khoudia came into the kitchen with her shirt off. She picked up a dish and the rag and looked around for the dish soap.

Yuri passed it to her. "I wash, you dry," Khoudia said. "Also, can you take me home when we're done?" Yuri nodded and grabbed the towel off of the countertop. Yuri waited for Khoudia to pass him the dishes. They made conversation about the exhibition skate and Chris and today in general. Khoudia wished that they were able to get in another Smash round, but she was grateful that they got what they got.

When they finished the dishes, Khoudia dried her hands and sat on the sofa. She took a sip of her cherry coke. She yawned. "I'm so tired," Khoudia complained. Yuri nodded in agreement. "Are you going to text Victor?" Yuri nodded. "Good. Text your baby."

 _ **Victor: How's the dinner going?**_  
 _ **: It went really well.**_  
 _ **Victor: What did you have to eat?**_  
 _ **: Baked macaroni and cheese, fried chicken, and peach cobbler. It was a very southern meal.**_  
 _ **Victor: Did you enjoy it?**_  
 _ **: Very much.**_

Khoudia yawned and her face scrunched up. "Do you think that my parents will let me stay the night?"

"Probably not," Yuri said. "They might want to see you. You _were_ off in Russia with a sexual deviant, after all."

"That's a weird way to talk about your friend," Khoudia said. She didn't catch Yuri's joke. Yuri deadpanned. She'll figure it out when she does. "I don't want to go home right now, though," she whined.

"But you should. I'm sure your parents would be glad to see you." Khoudia shrugged. "Did your mom call you?" Khoudia took out her phone and checked her calls. She shook her head.

 _ **Olivia: I can't wait to see you tomorrow**_  
 _ **Olivia: I'm so excited!**_  
 _ **Olivia: PLEASE tell me that you're excited, too**_  
 _ **: I am.**_

Yuri yawned. "Are you tired?" Khoudia asked. Yuri nodded. "Good. I hope you'll be able to get a restful sleep tonight. You deserve it." Khoudia examined her nails again. "And _I_ deserve to change up my nails." Yuri chuckled. "How would a nude color look on my fingers?"

"It technically wouldn't be nude if it was on you," Yuri pointed out. Khoudia nodded. "How about a dark, sparkling purple color?"

"Do you think that it'd go with almond shaped nails?"

"I don't see why not," Yuri said.

"I hope Adeola and Fatoumatta decide to get their nails done, too." Despite Khoudia complaining about Adeola and Fatou constantly and that they hate her, she loves her older sisters dearly. "Fatou's nails are looking really crusty so she should get them done." She chuckled. "When are you going to see your therapist?"

"Next Tuesday." Khoudia nodded. She yawned. "Am I boring you?" Yuri rhetorically asked her.

"Of course not. I'm just tired." She yawned again. "I think I want to go home now," she said. Yuri got up and put on his shoes. Khoudia unhurriedly followed suit. They put on their coats and Khoudia went to get Yuri's keys.

She came back, placed them in his hand, and he locked the door behind them. Khoudia didn't open her mouth until they were a block away from the apartment. "Okay, I'm upset," she said. Yuri looked over at her. "Well, I'm not right now, but I was earlier." Yuri nodded. "It just upsets me that Adé thinks that my parents will hate him for being transgender."

"If that's the case, why haven't you come out to your parents?" Yuri asked.

"Because they'll disown me." She paused. "I see his argument. But it's different. I'm their child; Adé isn't." Khoudia sucked her teeth; she looked disconsolate. "I just don't want Adé to be with Jordan just so they have a roof over their head." Yuri grabbed her hand. "I blame Adé's parents," she said. Yuri nodded in agreement. "We wouldn't have to worry if they hadn't kicked our baby out." She moved closer to Yuri and embraced him. "I just want Adé to be okay. I don't want them to have to worry about where they'll be sleeping if Jordan tries anything." Yuri stroked her head. Two people looked on at them.

"For someone who swears that they don't have a maternal bone in them, you worry like you are one."

"A mom has to look after her kids," she murmured. "Even if that mom is… me." She dryly chuckled. "I'm glad someone else did the work for me for the first eighteen years. I could _not_ handle that again. By myself."

"But you have four younger siblings."

"I know," Khoudia said. She let go of Yuri and grabbed his hand. They kept walking.

When Yuri and Khoudia reached her home, Adeola and Fatoumatta were coming from the African hair salon with their edges laid and braids looking fire. Despite seeing them several times before, Yuri couldn't tell them apart without their hijabs. "Hi Adeola, Fatou," Yuri said.

"Hello Yuri," Fatoumatta said. Khoudia looked up at Yuri and then looked at her sisters.

"You should get going, Yuri," Khoudia said. "It's getting late. Phichit might start worrying." Khoudia looked to be anxious by Yuri being in proximity to her sisters. Yuri considered her anxiety and rationalized that it doesn't make any sense. Yuri has been around Khoudia's family several times before.

"I'll text you when I get home," Yuri said. Khoudia nodded and gave him a parting hug. Yuri turned on his heel and left. When he was at a stop light, he checked his phone.

 _ **Olivia: I feel like your enthusiasm is being feigned**_  
 _ **: It is not.**_

It was. Yuri was feeling dread, if anything.

 _ **Olivia: Suuure it is**_  
 _ **Olivia: I'm surprised that you hadn't fallen asleep yet**_  
 _ **: I couldn't. I was eating with Phichit, Khoudia, and Adé.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Adé?**_  
 _ **: Camille to you.**_

Yuri looked up at the light. It was still red. He looked back at his phone.

 _ **Olivia: Oh**_  
 _ **Olivia: So they changed their name?**_  
 _ **: Kind of.**_

Yuri wasn't sure if they should explain this to Olivia. He doesn't know how Adé would feel about Olivia knowing that he's trans. He'd have to ask. And soon.

 _ **: Are you okay with Olivia knowing that you're trans?**_

Yuri put his phone to sleep. Adé was still probably on his way to the apartment he shared with Jordan. He briefly wondered what Jordan was going to say to Adé and what fight they'll have tonight, but he already knew that Adé would tell Khoudia and Khoudia would tell Yuri and Phichit. Yuri would get upset about it and start stimming to relieve the frustration he's feeling. Then Adé would call Yuri to calm him down and it'd work, but Yuri would still be upset and frustrated.

The light changed. Yuri started to walk. He put his headphones in and decided to listen to ASAP Rocky. It's been a while since he's listened to "Suddenly."

Before Yuri knew it, he was back at home. He had been listening to "Suddenly" on repeat. The apartment was dark and quiet; Phichit probably got up to turn out the lights once he realized that Yuri had left to take Khoudia home. Yuri entered the dark apartment and took off his shoes and coat. He took off his clothes and placed them on the back of the chair. He laid on the sofa in his underwear and socks and looked at the ceiling. He could've sworn that the shade of white it was got darker. Yuri checked his phone. Adé had texted back.

 _ **Adé: Only if it's necessary to tell her.**_  
 _ **: And if she calls you "she"?**_  
 _ **Adé: Correct her, obvs**_  
 _ **: Right, right**_

Then Yuri went to Olivia's messages.

 _ **Olivia: Well, you can explain it all to me when we have dinner tomorrow**_  
 _ **Olivia: I still can't believe that I'm actually seeing you after all this time**_  
 _ **: It's unbelievable that we're actually going to see each other.**_

Then he went to Victor's messages.

 _ **: Adé and Khoudia went home. Now I'm just laying on the sofa.**_  
 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_

The selfie came out blurry.

 _ **Victor: I have a question.**_  
 _ **Victor: Why is Adé called Adé?**_  
 _ **: That's actually part of their first name.**_  
 _ **Victor: Part of it?**_  
 _ **: Their full first Jean-Adé. Their middle name is just someone else's full name.**_  
 _ **Victor: Isn't everyone's middle name just someone else's full name? Lol**_  
 _ **: No, their name is literally someone else's full name.**_  
 _ **Victor: I'm afraid I don't understand.**_

Yuri yawned and looked at the screen.

 _ **: François Mackandal.**_  
 _ **: Anyway, "Adé" is short for "Jean-Adé"**_  
 _ **Victor: Why doesn't Adé use "Jean" instead of "Adé"?**_  
 _ **: Because they have two brothers with "Jean" in their names.**_  
 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_

Victor was expressing his confusion, that much was clear to Yuri. But Yuri didn't totally grasp why Victor was so confused.

 _ **Victor: I am just so confused by this**_  
 _ **: It's not that confusing.**_  
 _ **Victor: If you say so**_  
 _ **: Jacques, François, and Adé all have "Jean" as part of their first names.**_

Yuri got off of the sofa and went to his suitcase which was still by the door. He moved quietly so that he wouldn't disturb Phichit's dozing. He silently opened his suitcase and took out his mint green pajama pants and one of the shirts he didn't buy when he was in Moscow. Yuri silently unpacked his stuff, being conscious of his sleeping roommate. Yuri shoved the things he bought in Moscow into the back of the closet. If Phichit found out what Yuri had bought, he would probably have a full freak-out. "Well, he did say get new clothes," Yuri mused as he finished unpacking. "I just happened to pick up a few assorted things while I was getting clothes." He silently got into bed and looked up at the violet colored ceiling, thinking about tomorrow.

#

Ryuugazaki: I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!


	64. Chapter 64

Ryuugazaki: My semester is ending next week and I'm so excited and so totally anxious about my finals. College students gotta feel me on this. High school students, take note that you're gonna be wrecks when the end of the semester comes.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Four  
 **(Wednesday, 2 December 2015 – 8:01am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri slept through the night much to his own surprise. He didn't feel well-rested or satisfied by his sleep, but he slept and that was what was important to him right now. He texted Khoudia first thing in the morning to let her know what he did. She hadn't seen the text yet, but he was certain that Khoudia would be happy to know this. And if he had seen Luzia or Noêmia and they had known about Yuri's episode, they would be happy to know this, too.

Today is Wednesday. He was going to see Olivia this evening and Victor this morning. He yawned. When Yuri was in the shower, he decided that he wouldn't need an iced coffee this morning since he slept through the night. Right now he regretted that decision; he should have gotten that iced coffee. Yuri bobbed his head up and down as he rocked, trying to clear his headspace of the virulent fog of exhaustion that clouded his brain, but that only made him sleepier. The door opened, but Yuri didn't look at it.

"Yuri?" It was Victor. Yuri stopped rocking and looked at the door. Victor was still standing there. Victor walked over to Yuri's desk. He stood in front of him and bent over to kiss Yuri's forehead. "Hello," Victor said against his hair. Yuri felt his heart drop. Victor got in his seat and turned his desk towards Yuri. Did he forget that this was going to bother Yuri or did he do this on purpose? "What was it you were doing when I came in?"

"I was rocking," Yuri murmured. "I thought it'd make me less tired, but it just made me more tired." He yawned and scrunched his nose. "How have you been since I've been gone?" Yuri asked.

"Lonely and disconsolate mostly." Victor placed his head in his hand and looked at Yuri.

"I'm sorry," Yuri said. His voice was a little bit louder than a whisper. He was sorry for a lot of things as of late. Yuri took out his sketchbook. He wanted to draw to escape this feeling. "What could I draw today?" Yuri asked himself. He bit his lip and stared at the wall in front of him. There was a podium with a computer that was plugged up to one of the lone outlets in the room. The only other outlet was by the door. It seemed to be that way for all of the classrooms.

"Did you sleep?" Victor pushed his desk closer to Yuri's. Sooner or later, Victor realized, that Yuri was going to ask Victor to move his desk – or move it himself. Yuri nodded; he slept like the dead and yet he's still tired. "It'll take a while to get used to the jetlag… And to think that we'll be in France next week." Yuri started to hyperfocus and deconstruct the podium. The podium had a medium-sized door and a circular keyhole in the front. It was identical in the back, too, except that the back was perpetually unlocked and it showed the front of the computer and had a section for your legs to go in. "Yuri," Victor said. He touched Yuri's shoulder and gently shook him to snap him out of whatever he was held under. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Yuri murmured. "I was just… I don't know."

"You zoned out," Victor said.

"I guess I did," Yuri said. He opened his sketchbook and yawned. "The Grand Prix is next week." Victor nodded excitedly. "And our date is tomorrow." Victor nodded again.

"Are you excited?" Victor asked. Yuri looked over at him and he was beaming. Yuri nodded. "You don't seem excited."

"I'm excited, trust me." Yuri yawned. Despite the dread in his chest and abdomen and the remaining guilt he had for not telling Victor about being a figure skater, he was looking forward to this date. He felt like it would be necessary to have something good after the potential dumpster fire which is tonight. "I'm seeing Olivia tonight," he murmured.

"Who's that?"

"That person." Victor made a face of confusion. "The one I told you about when you came over to watch me draw." Victor nodded when he realized who he was talking about. Yuri wished that he could reach out and touch Victor, but he wouldn't allow himself to do that. Instead, Yuri kept his gaze lowered to where his hands were. While Yuri was in his trance, he placed his hands on his desk.

"You did say you were going to see them after you came back," Victor said. "You don't have to go."

"I know," Yuri said.

"Why do you want to see them?" Victor asked. Yuri remained silent. "Do you miss them _that_ much?" Yuri didn't nod or acknowledge his question. He doesn't know how he currently feels about Olivia anymore. At first he felt something akin to anger. He was angry that she came back when he and Khoudia had gotten over her. He was angry that she wanted back into their lives. Then, once he got past the rage and trepidation, he felt nothing. He wanted to feel something – anything – in place of the nothingness, but that's all he could feel now. Nothing. "Answer me."

"I don't know," Yuri finally said. "Fix your desk." Victor's desk finally started to bother him.

"Yuri, this isn't the time for that," Victor said. "I'm trying to figure out why you're going to dinner with someone that you used to be with and you don't care about them." Yuri looked up at Victor with a deadpan expression. "What?"

"We weren't together," Yuri corrected him. Victor sighed a sigh of relief. "Exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"It was an almost relationship," Yuri explained. He sighed and felt like there was a small weight lifted off of him. The weight was still there and Yuri supposed that another weight would be lifted off of him tonight, but he wasn't so sure if he could wait until then. He needed to shed himself of these rocks and fast. "I don't have those feelings for her anymore, if that's what you're worried about. There's no one on this earth as great as you." Yuri took a deep breath. "I don't miss them anymore. I don't."

Victor looked at Yuri and rested his head on his hand. "I believe you," Victor said. He fixed his desk to how it was supposed to be and turned to face Yuri. "Look at my gold medalist winner." Yuri looked at Victor; he was beaming. Yuri smiled. When Yuri woke up this morning, he felt like today would be generally bad, but, right now, today didn't feel like it would be bad at all.

#

 **(Wednesday, 2 December 2015 – 11:31am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Class was over. They learned about Baroque and Rococo art today. Yuri drew The Rape of Proserpina today. The classroom was empty except for him, Victor, two girls, and Professor Heiner. "Mr. Katsuki," Professor Heiner said. Yuri looked over at her as he packed his binder in his bag. "Why didn't I receive your homework for this week?"

"I wasn't feeling well all last week. Sorry," he murmured.

"You're making this a habit," Professor Heiner complained. Yuri furrowed his brows. "How has this been a habit?" He thought. He wanted to ask ol' Halloweentown looking ass, but restrained himself. If he asked something in his ire, it might come out wrong and he didn't want to make a scene. "Don't do that again," she said and left the room. The moment she stepped out of the room was the moment Yuri allowed himself to roll his eyes. He zipped his backpack and got up.

"Let's go," Yuri said. He looked over at Victor. He scrambled to get his things together and got up. He reached the door first.

"For someone who wasn't feeling well all last week, you skated like you were just fine." Yuri nodded. They walked to the library. "Were you actually not feeling well or did you just tell her that?" Yuri didn't respond to Victor's question. "Yuri."

"Yes?"

"Answer the question."

"Well, I wasn't well," Yuri said. He led Victor to their spot in the library. He sat down and took out his art history binder. He wanted to finish doing the arms on Proserpina. "However, 'well' is subjective so who knows? I might've been well after all. I might be _perpetually_ well. Nothing is real." Victor rolled his eyes. "What?"

"What are you even saying?"

There was a beat. "You know, I don't know." Yuri chuckled.

"I'm going to chalk that up to you being tired," Victor said. Yuri nodded and smiled. Victor watched Yuri draw arms and he was mesmerized by the way his hand moved. He broke himself out of his trance to ask him something. "Do you want to go out with me tomorrow?" Yuri stopped drawing and firmly put down his pencil. He sharply inhaled. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Where did you get the idea that I don't want to go out with you?" Yuri asked. He closed his binder; he didn't want to work on something when his bonheur seemed to be bothered.

"You seem out of it and I don't know how long it'll take for you to snap out of it." Yuri reached out and stroked Victor's face. He's wanted to do that since he's seen him. Victor reached out to touch Yuri, too. Victor's thumb stroked the space under Yuri's eye. "I don't want anything to tear us apart." Yuri held Victor's hand firmly. "Let me be there for you." He moved in to give Victor a hug as tight as he can physically muster. "I've missed you so much while you were gone."

"I've missed you, too," Yuri said into Victor's chest. He felt tears prick his eyes. He wished them away – he doesn't need to cry right now – but they remained. Yuri took deep breaths to steady his erratic breathing. Victor stroked Yuri's back and held him.

"I'm bipolar," Yuri murmured into Victor's chest.

"Are you?" Victor said. Yuri sat up and grabbed Victor's cold hands. Yuri nodded and kissed Victor's knuckles. "Is that why you go to the doctor every week?" Yuri nodded. "Is your doctor nice?" Yuri nodded.

"She's really nice. She's really nice and motherly; she has been like that since I've been here."

"How long have you been in America?" Victor asked. "You've never really mentioned that before."

"I've been here since 2011," Yuri responded. Victor looked amazed. "I started seeing Luzia in January 2012. She was so nice." Victor nodded. "My coach worked magic to get me an intake appointment." Victor's nose scrunched. He was a tad bit confused. "I don't know what he did to get me an appointment, but he did. He had me call myself and they told me that they weren't accepting new patients, but he called and he did magic and set up an intake appointment for me. Magic. Literally magic."

"Is she considered a good therapist?" Yuri shrugged. "How do you not know?"

"Well, I don't know if she has reviews about her available," Yuri said as he put his binder back in his bag. "But I know that she is great and I have to fight the urge to tell her that I love her every session." Victor arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"That was funny," Victor said.

"Luzia is just… she's great," Yuri said. "Noêmia is really great, too. I don't see her as often, though." Victor cracked his knuckles. "Noêmia's great, too, though." Victor nodded. Yuri was smiling uncontrollably by now. He loved talking about his mental health team; they were devoted to his treatment and they understood what it's like being a transplant international student. They were more than a mental health team to him, they were his day ones. They were there before Olivia, before Khoudia, before Phichit, before the true extent of the wackiness – and terribleness – of his dorm mates. They were simply irreplaceable. Yuri placed his face in his hands and smiled.

"Are you okay?" Victor stroked Yuri's back.

"I'm just… so happy." Yuri's phone buzzed. "They make me happy." Victor nodded. "Luzia has dogs! And a wife! She has a wife!" Yuri took a deep breath to try and calm himself. It wasn't working.

"Your therapist is gay?" Yuri vigorously nodded. "That's great."

"She's shown me her wedding photos and they're so cute together!" Yuri gushed. "They went to honeymoon in Brazil!" Yuri let out a sound of excitement and pure happiness. Victor could only watch his bonheur be excited. Yuri calmed down and physically relaxed. He was glad to tell Victor about his mental health team.

"Are you okay?" Yuri nodded. He sat up and reached out to touch Victor's face. He leaned in and let his forehead rest on Yuri's. "Were you okay when you were in Moscow? Did anyone do anything surly?"

"I was with Khoudia the entire time. Nothing happened to us."

"Good!" Victor said. He pulled away from Yuri and kissed his forehead. "You should get to your math class. I'll walk you." Yuri nodded. They gathered their things and walked hand-in-hand out of the library. Yuri was relieved that Victor didn't seem to hate his guts. They waited for the elevator. "So, how were you mental health wise in Moscow?"

"I'm positive I had a manic episode in Moscow. I still might be having one." Victor nodded.

"What do you need?" Victor asked.

"I don't think I understand," Yuri said. The elevator came and they got on. Yuri was glad that it was empty. He didn't want anyone to overhear his mental health woes. Victor pressed the button to the floor.

"Do you need anything?" Yuri shook his head. "Let me know if you need anything. I'm here for you." Yuri nodded and leaned on Victor. "I don't expect you to come back to the library to find me since you probably have to go home immediately after." Yuri shrugged.

"I'll come back for you, but I won't stay long," Yuri said.

"What time is your dinner?"

"7pm," Yuri murmured. "After math, I'll have just enough time to give you a kiss and a hug." Victor rolled his eyes. "What?" Yuri reached up to touch Victor.

"You finally come back and you leave me so soon," Victor complained. "Well, at least I'll be seeing you tomorrow, too."

"Speaking of seeing each other," Yuri said. He was cut off by the elevator opening. Yuri removed his hand from Victor's hand and held hands. "Are we going to the museum on Friday?"

"Of course," Victor said. "We still have to do the art history assignments. Even if we're figure skaters." Yuri chuckled. Before they knew it, they were at the door to Yuri's math class. "I have to let go now, don't I?"

"Sadly," Yuri murmured. "I'd stay if I could, but I have to take this math class."

"I know, I know," Victor said. He rested his forehead against Yuri's. A door opened. A short girl with blonde ombre hair came out. She tried not to gawk, but she did. "You should get inside." Victor stroked Yuri's face. "Before I decide to whisk you away from everything."

"Right now, I think I would prefer it if you whisked me away from everything." Victor smiled. "Let me get inside." Victor chuckled and kissed Yuri's forehead. Yuri pulled away from Victor – albeit unwillingly – and went inside of his classroom to get some education.

#

 **(Wednesday, 2 December 2015 – 7:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri had enough time to give Victor a kiss and a hug _and_ have a conversation with him. Victor even walked him home to extend his time with Yuri. Yuri was grateful for Victor doing that. He tried to seduce Yuri tonight and almost talked him out of going to dinner with Olivia. Almost. Yuri remained strong and didn't yield to temptation.

Right now, Yuri was waiting in front of Slows Bar BQ. Olivia hadn't shown up yet. His fingers were starting to freeze from the cold. "It was truly December," Yuri thought. He looked up and down the streets, trying to see if he could recognize Olivia walking down the street. If her gait hadn't changed while she was in France, he could probably see her from coming a mile away.

"Hey!" Olivia said as she tapped his shoulder. She was standing right behind him. Yuri was startled; he didn't see her coming down the street. Her eyes seemed to shine in this night. She threw her arms around him before he could register that she was giving him a hug. Yuri wrapped his arms around her after he processed the hug. He felt his eyes water when he wrapped his arms around her. She pulled away and looked up at him. "Did you miss me?" Yuri nodded. "Let's go inside! I'm starved. I hope you're in the mood for barbecue."

"I wouldn't be here if I wasn't," Yuri murmured.

"Aren't you here for me?" She asked. Yuri looked down at her. She made that face that always made it hard for him to deny her anything. It made him weak in the knees and he had to take a deep breath before he would continue on.

"Well, I –" Yuri cut himself off and let go of her. "I wouldn't be here if I wasn't," Yuri repeated. Olivia sighed. Then she chuckled. "We should get inside. It's cold."

"Right," she said. She let go of Yuri and grabbed his hand. They walked inside of the restaurant and waited to be seated. "So, how have you been since I last saw you?" She brought a knuckle to her mouth. "I feel like I've asked you before… I probably did when Khoudia made you hang up your phone." Yuri shrugged. "She seemed to be really mad when she found out you were talking to me." She sheepishly chuckled. "Does she hate me that much?"

"Yes," Yuri said. "You fill her with a rage that cannot be quelled." Olivia chuckled. "You really hurt her." Olivia shrugged. "Can't you feel remorse at all?"

"Is it really my fault that she can't just get over it?" Yuri deadpanned. "Look, I don't want to talk about Khoudia tonight. She's putting a damper on our date tonight." Yuri had two things he had to speak on and he didn't know which one he wanted to speak on first. Does he lay down the law and tell Olivia that this isn't a date? That this is just a simple dinner with an old acquaintance? Or does he bring up that she brought up Khoudia first and that she's responsible for whatever hurt she's feeling? Yuri didn't make the decision in time because she had already decided to change the topic. "What do you plan on getting?" She asked.

"I don't know," Yuri murmured. "It's been a while since I've come here." Olivia leaned on Yuri and closed her eyes. "Do you still remember the menu?" She shook her head.

"I guess we'll see when we're seated." Yuri nodded. "I've really missed you, you know."

"If you missed me that much, you wouldn't have cut off all contact when you decided to leave for France." Yuri took out his phone and checked his texts. He had messages from Khoudia, Phichit, and Victor. Yuri decided to start with Phichit's messages.

 _ **Phichit: Make sure you take a lot of pictures of you and Olivia tonight. And remember to make good decisions!**_  
 _ **: I'll be sure to make good decisions, mon canard**_

Then he went to Khoudia's messages. She, surprisingly, only sent two sentences instead of a script of what she wants Yuri to say to her.

 _ **Khoudia: Stay safe tonight. You're in my (scant) prayers.**_  
 _ **: I'll try.**_

Then he went to Victor's messages. He dreaded his the most.

 _ **Victor: I hope your dinner goes well and that you find what you were searching for.**_  
 _ **Victor: And remember what I told you ((sparkling heart emojis))**_  
 _ **: I will, mon bonheur ((sparkling heart emoji))**_

Yuri sighed and put his phone away. "Who were you texting?" She asked.

"Phichit," Yuri said. "He was telling me to make good decisions tonight." She smirked. "I don't know where he got the idea that I would be making _bad_ decisions tonight." Olivia started to giggle. "Are you going to continue college?"

"That is the plan," she said. "Ciao Ciao hasn't told me if he's taking me back yet. I'm hoping he does." Yuri nodded. He remembered what she told him on the Christmas Eve that she left. "I'm glad that I figured out what I want now." Yuri nodded. "Your Rostelecom Cup skate was absolutely amazing."

"Thank you," Yuri meekly said. Olivia sat up and reached out to grab Yuri's face.

"Look at me," she said as she held his face in her hands. Yuri looked at her forehead instead of in her eyes.

"Excuse me?" The staring was interrupted by a waitress. "There's a table waiting for you." Yuri removed Olivia's hands from his face and got up. He gripped her hands because he needed something to grab on to. Yuri and Olivia followed the waitress and took their seats. They were in the absolute middle of the dining area. She gave them their menus and walked away. They took off their coats and placed them on the back of the chairs. Phichit had picked out Yuri's clothes tonight; he decided on dress pants and a dark blue polka dotted shirt. Phichit also had Yuri wear a sports jacket with it. It was dressy-casual and Yuri kind of wished he had enough sense to pick out his own clothes. Olivia opted for dressy-casual, too; she went for a partially pinstriped blouse – the shirt was sectioned off like it was a regular dress shirt at the top and then it broke off into a corset that was pinstriped. Once Yuri sat down, he promptly opened his menu and looked at the first page.

"I hate that she interrupted our moment," Olivia said.

"It's not her fault. She's just doing her job." Yuri turned the page. So far, the gumbo and the salad looked appetizing to him. "You can't fault her for that."

"I know," she said. She turned to the second page of her menu. "I just wish that it hadn't ended so soon." She turned to the third page. "You still want to go out for drinks after this, right?" Yuri nodded. "Tonight's going to be fun, don't you think?"

"I don't think." Olivia damn near dropped her menu. Her mouth was held open in shock. "That isn't regard to tonight," Yuri clarified. "That's just in general. I don't think." Olivia laughed.

"I was about to say," Olivia said. She started to smile. "Oh! Wait!" She took out her phone and went to the camera app. "Smile!" She beamed. Yuri smiles and threw up a peace sign. The waitress came back with two glasses of water. Yuri thanked her graciously. Then he took out his phone and took an off-guard of Olivia. Phichit would probably like that. "Have you figured out what you want?"

"I think I want the jambalaya now. You?"

"For someone who was in the mood for barbecue, you're not ordering any barbecue," Olivia pointed out. Then she continued: "I think I want the brisket. I remember it being really good last time I came here." She licked her lips and looked at Yuri. "You look so handsome tonight."

"You look nice, too," Yuri said. Olivia smiled and flipped her hair. She looked at her lap and kept smiling. Yuri decided to take another off-guard of her. "So how did you run into Phichit on campus?"

"He was in one of the computer labs and I was trying to see if my login info still worked." She looked up and over at Yuri. "It didn't, by the way." She chuckled. "Phichit wasn't paying attention to whatever he was supposed to be doing and he just started talking to me! It was like nothing had changed!" She smiled again. "I had wished that it could be the same for all of us, you know? That we could all just pick up where we left off." She sighed. "There was a reason I chose you, you know."

"Chose? Chose when?"

"Well, I've chosen you for several things," she said before she took a sip of water. "But my most penultimate choice was contacting you instead of Khoudia or Camille."

"Adé."

"Pardon?"

"It's Adé. Camille wants to be called Adé now." Olivia took a sip of water and waited for Yuri to continue. When she saw that Yuri had nothing to add, she continued on.

"Right, well, I chose you because you're easy to talk to." Yuri wanted to counter that. According to several people, he wasn't easy to talk to at all. They likened talking to Yuri to talking to a brick wall. "You would actually hear me out rather than…" her voice trailed off and she shrugged. "I just… I just really wanted to talk to you." She wiped her eyes then reached out to grab Yuri's hand. He flinched. "Are you okay?" She asked after she had intertwined her fingers with his.

"You're touching me."

"I know that," she said. Yuri felt his face get warm.

"You're very audacious," Yuri said. She smirked and she started giving him bedroom eyes. He took deep breaths and remembered that he has a boyfriend to ground him. He didn't have to give in to temptation; if he's strong enough to resist Victor, he's strong enough to resist Olivia. "But you're not," a voice told him. He took a deep breath and smiled graciously. He can resist this.

"I guess that happens when you figure out what you want." Yuri saw what she meant, but shrugged nonetheless. "You become more reckless in the pursuit of what sets your soul on fire." Their waitress came back to take their order. While Olivia was ordering for them, Yuri became inflamed with a burning question.

Once the waitress left, Yuri felt that it was as fine a time as ever to spring his question on her. "What did you leave to look for?" Yuri took a sip of water, knowing full well that it might not be the best thing to be doing.

"I just needed some distance between me and skating and school and us."

"A lot of distance between us," Yuri dryly remarked.

"Yes, a lot of distance between us," Olivia repeated.

"And it took you three years to figure it all out?" Olivia nodded. "Is thinking all you did?"

"Well, of course, it's not the only thing I did. There were some hang-ups and layovers and— What are you doing?" Yuri had let go of Olivia's hand. He was wiping it on his trousers now.

"My hand got sweaty," Yuri said. He placed his hand near hers. She didn't try to link fingers again.

Olivia nodded and decided to continue talking. "I've met people and I've slept with people and all I could think about was how I wished I was home." Yuri nodded and took a sip of water. "Even when I was engaged, I wished I was home." Yuri stopped drinking his water when he heard the word "engaged."

"You were engaged?" She nodded. "Like, the 'to be married' engaged?"

"That is the primary usage of the word 'engaged,'" she said. "My fiancé was nice enough, I guess, but I couldn't see myself having a life with him. I tried to make myself love him, but I couldn't." She yawned. "Do you want to hear about the girlfriend I had when I was there? Yuri nodded. He would listen to her talk about her girlfriend despite her swearing that she doesn't like girls. He wondered if he should bring that up right now, but decided against it because that would involve invoking Khoudia and he was just going to get angry. Right now, he decided to just listen. It was the safest of options he had right now. "Her name was Adele and she was an artist. She was really cute." Yuri nodded. "She was really sweet and innocent and it reminded me so much of Khoudia." Olivia bit her lip and smiled. "When I would look at Adele's face at night, sometimes I would think it was Khoudia and I would… I said I didn't want to talk about her tonight." She chuckled.

"There's something I'm not understanding. Maybe you can shed some light on it for me." He restrained himself, but he had to ask. It was a question that had him inflamed.

"Shoot," Olivia said.

"How do you alternate between being so disinterested in Khoudia's feelings and yet fawning over her?"

"Hate the sin, love the sinner," she said.

"That makes no logical sense whatsoever and I hope you know that." Yuri rolled his eyes. Olivia rolled her eyes, too. "I just don't get your blatant disregard for her feelings – feelings that are really important and that can be returned – and then you melt thinking about her."

"I don't _melt_ thinking about Khoudia," she scoffed.

"Then what do you call talking about how your ex-girlfriend looks like Khoudia when she sleeps?" She shrugged. "It's not in anyone's interest if you can't sort your feelings out." Yuri was going to kick himself for speaking later, but right now it's important. "Khoudia was in love with you – she's still in love with you actually; she just won't say it because she hates you now – and you keep disregarding that. Why?"

"It's simple. She's not the one I'm after," Olivia simply said. Yuri was taken aback. "She knows this and she knows who I want." Olivia grabbed Yuri's hand again. "I keep choosing you every time." Yuri felt himself get warm and he pulled his hand away. "What happened this time?" Yuri wiped his hands on his pants. Then he kept doing that. He didn't think to bring one of his new stim toys with him tonight. He had already done his physical stims and forgot that his toys existed. The waitress came back with their drinks and that distracted Yuri long enough for him to stop stimming. Then his phone buzzed. He took out his phone and looked at the text.

 _ **Phichit: What the fuck did you do when you were in Moscow**_

"Did something happen?" Olivia asked.

"Let me check," Yuri said. He bit his lip and wondered what he could say to Phichit.

 _ **: wym**_  
 _ **Phichit: Don't "wym" me.**_  
 _ **Phichit: What the fuck did you do when you were in Moscow**_  
 _ **: I skated, baby.**_  
 _ **: You saw me skate.**_  
 _ **Phichit: Stop being snarky**_

"Phichit is mad," Yuri said. He locked his phone and looked at Olivia.

 _ **Phichit: You know exactly what I'm talking about**_

"What did you do?" Olivia asked.

 _ **Phichit: What the fuck is this in the closet then?**_  
 _ **Phichit: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Phichit: Hmm?**_  
 _ **Phichit: [has sent attachments]**_  
 _ **Phichit: Hmm?**_  
 _ **Phichit: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Phichit: Hmm?**_  
 _ **Phichit: [has sent an attachment]**_  
 _ **Phichit: HMM?!**_

"He found the stuff I bought when I was in Moscow," Yuri said. He took a sip of his drink. "I thought I placed it far enough in the closet that he wouldn't see it, but I guess not." Olivia started to laugh. "You think this is funny, but he doesn't and he might shave my head tonight. I'm in big trouble."

"Well, what did you buy?" Olivia asked. Yuri looked at her. "Surely it wasn't _too_ bad that he'd shave your beautiful hair." Yuri made a face. "So, what did you buy?" Yuri continued to look at her. "Don't make me have to drag the answers out of you."

"It's bad enough to have him text me several pictures _of_ what I bought." Olivia chuckled. "I'm kind of afraid to go home now because he's going to yell at me about what I've done."

"Well, you can come over to where I'm staying and we can have coffee." Yuri made a face. Why would she invite him over for coffee at night? "What? Is the thought of having coffee with me abhorrent to you?"

"Well, I don't really like coffee," he said. Then he felt it right to continue. "Unless it's iced coffee and it's made right. Because then that is a hard maybe." She chuckled.

"I keep forgetting that you're not American," she said as she took a sip of her drink. The waitress came back with their food. "Thank you," Olivia said to the waitress.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Yuri asked, mildly affronted. He was well aware of his legal resident status and didn't need it brought up at every turn.

"You won't understand it." Yuri squinted. He was still confused. What does "not being American" have to do with "coming over for coffee"? The two seemed to be unrelated, but they _had_ to have a causal relationship for Olivia to bring them up. She smiled at him. "Let's eat!" She said. Yuri picked up his fork and looked at it dubiously. It had slight hard water stains on it. "Is something wrong?"

"My fork," he murmured. Olivia took it from him and looked at it.

"I got you," she said. She flagged down their waitress and asked for a glass of hot water. She came back with it and Olivia let Yuri's fork soak. "See? I've got you." She smiled. Yuri's phone started ringing. He looked down at it. It was Phichit. Olivia looked at Yuri's phone. "Do you want to get that?" She laughed.

"If I don't, I'll really get it when I eventually get back home."

"Well, hopefully, we can delay that," she said with a smirk and a wink. Yuri picked up his phone and hesitantly put his phone to his ear.

"Hello?" Yuri meekly said.

"Yuri Katsuki!" Phichit yelled. Yuri winced when the sound hit his ear.

"Nope." Yuri hung up. He put his phone on airplane mode and put it in his pocket. "I'm really going to get it now," he murmured.

"You shouldn't have hung up on him then." Olivia started to cut her brisket. "It can't be _that_ bad what he's calling you about."

"Olivia, you don't understand," Yuri said.

"Then _make_ me understand." She stopped cutting her brisket and looked at him. "What did you buy that has Phichit so incensed?" Yuri took a deep breath and pursed his lips.

"Okay, so, I was in Moscow, right?" She nodded. Yuri looked around to see if there was anyone paying attention to him. "And I– Look, I just bought things that Phichit is mad about and he found them and he's going to end my life like he's Ciao Ciao." She laughed.

"You literally told me nothing," she said. "You're going to have to tell me more."

"I–I…" Yuri took a deep breath. "Okay, so you already know how Khoudia thought the suit you picked out for me was ugly, right?" Olivia nodded. "So after we picked out a new suit, we walked around and decided to go in a department store. We decided to go in Levi's first." She nodded. "Everything is all well and good, we're just poking around and then–" Yuri stopped talking. "Things happened and Khoudia and I had a back-and-forth and I ended up buying jeans and six sweaters." Olivia started laughing. "I'm being serious! I bought six of the same sweater!"

"Yuri, you're such a dummy," she said as she laughed.

"And then we went into the Sony Store – I had no clue there were Sony Stores in Moscow, by the way – and I bought a camera."

"Well, that's not _too_ bad," Olivia said. "But that's kind of dumb, too, because you have an iPhone."

"No, no, you don't understand," Yuri said. "I bought a photography camera. Like, a professional one." She made a face. "I don't know anything about being a professional photographer."

"What else did you get?" She asked.

"Then Khoudia and I went into a bookstore." Olivia nodded. "I got books. Several books…" Yuri took a deep breath. Olivia prodded her brisket with her knife.

"Were they those books?" Yuri knit his brow. "Those books. The rope books," she said. Yuri was still confused. "With the shrimp tying and frog tying." He understood now.

"Oh! No, no," Yuri said. "I've hidden those books. They haven't seen the light of day in a long time." Olivia smirked. "I haven't really been in the mood to… look at them for inspiration. I've been doing normal people things lately." Yuri smirked. "Well, as normal as you get for a figure skater." Olivia chuckled. "But I got books. They had cool covers."

Olivia bit her lip. She seemed to have a thought. "I'd ask what they're about, but you… you don't know Russian, do you?" Yuri shook his head. "You –"

"But wait! There's more!" Yuri said. He took his fork out of the glass of water and wiped it down. He placed it in his jambalaya. " _Then_ we went to Mont Blanc," he said, breathless. "You know I have a perpetual hard-on for art and writing stuff."

"You do," she said.

"Well…" Yuri put some jambalaya on his fork. "It's Mont Blanc." He bit his lip and looked wistfully at his beverage. "If you hadn't noticed the theme… I couldn't help myself and… I might have paid more than $10 for a pen." Olivia made a face at him. She seemed to be unamused.

"How much?" She demanded. Yuri took his phone off of airplane mode and texted her the price. She looked down at her phone and at him in disbelief. "Call Phichit," she said. Yuri's lips were parted. "You call him right now." He rolled his eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me. Call him!"

"Fine, fine," he said. He took a breath and went to his phone. He had several _more_ texts from Phichit and none of them were texts that Yuri wanted to see from him. It was namely the "your ass is grass when I catch you" text that struck fear into him. Fear and mania. Fear and loathing. Fear and trembling. All things Yuri felt right now, but the principal emotion was "fear." He selected Phichit's name from the recent calls list and took a deep breath. He quickly put in his headphones and took deep breaths to try and ground himself.

"Yuri Katsuki," Phichit sternly said. "I do not _appreciate_ you hanging up on me earlier."

"I'm sorry," Yuri said, trying to convey his regret and despondency. He took deep breaths and felt himself get lightheaded. He wanted to focus on his meal, but Phichit demanded his attention. All of it.

"Are you eating right now?"

"I was going to, but not anymore," he said.

"You know why I'm angry, right?" Phichit said. Yuri looked at his fingers.

"Yes, Phichit," Yuri said.

"When you come home, I want your wallet." Yuri looked at his phone in disbelief. He nervously bit his lip and remained silent. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Phichit," Yuri murmured. He didn't know what Phichit exactly wanted with his wallet, but he sounded serious when he said that he wants it. Yuri wished he could've meant that he wants something else – anything else really – but it wasn't that. Phichit ended the call in a huff and Yuri took out his headphones. He put his phone back in his pocket and looked down at his jambalaya.

"Well?" Olivia said. She had been eating for the duration of Yuri's phone call.

"He wants my wallet when I get back home," Yuri said. He dumped the rice off of his fork and put more rice on it. "I have no clue what he's going to do with it, though." Yuri tried to not let the dread set in and started to take deep breaths to ground himself.

"We should definitely work to keep you out of the house a bit longer then," she said. "Coffee is looking more and more good now, isn't it?"

"I still don't understand what you mean by 'coffee,'" he said. She shrugged.

"You'll understand it soon enough," Olivia said. She was halfway done with her brisket. "Now eat your food before it gets colder than what it is." Yuri nodded. Olivia had a smile on her face. He liked that.

#

 **(Wednesday, 2 December 2015 – 9:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri and Olivia went to Leibniz for drinks. It was a bar 32 minutes away from Slows, but they could use the exercise to work off the itis. Olivia offered to pay for their drinks tonight; she was trying to prevent Yuri from another round of castigation. During dinner, Yuri's mind was fixated on two things: Olivia's smile and what Phichit wants with his wallet. He's missed her smile more than he let on; he's distressed about what Phichit has in store for him when he gets home. Right now, Yuri was trying to focus on Olivia's smile. She smiled as she took sips of her Long Island Iced Tea. He had forgotten that she likes those. Yuri, after Olivia's goading, decided to get a Cosmopolitan – and he hates cranberry juice. He sipped slowly and kept his eyes on Olivia. He would have a lot to write in his journal about tonight.

"What are you thinking about?" Olivia asked. She grabbed Yuri's hand. "If it's about Phichit, just try and relax. He can't still be seething." Yuri shrugged.

"I don't know," Yuri said. "Phichit's like a stable star when it comes to anger."

"He conducts nuclear fusion?" Olivia asked with a smile. Yuri chuckled.

"Well, I sure hope that he doesn't." Yuri took a sip of his drink. "What I'm trying to say is that he burns slowly and steadily. He still might be angry when I get home."

"Well, here's to hoping that he calms down." They clinked glasses and drank. Olivia absentmindedly intertwined her fingers with Yuri's, relishing the feel of his skin under hers. Yuri quickly took out his phone and took a picture of their hands. She smiled. "You still do that?" She asked. Taking pictures of his hand holding someone else's was a remnant of the Jason Era. Jason was hesitant to show him any sort of affection in public or in private so when Jason held Yuri's hand, he would snap a flick of it.

Memorabilia. He wanted to have a memory. He wanted to preserve the look and feel of Jason's skin against his.

Yuri nodded. Olivia smiled. "You don't have to do that anymore," she said. "I'm here."

"I know," Yuri said. "I see you there." Olivia took a big sip of her drink and smiled. "You are physically occupying the same space as me in this twilight."

"Was that part a Nine Inch Nails reference?" Yuri nodded. "Is it good?"

"The song? Or the drink? Because the song is great. The drink is decent." Olivia smiled. She took another big sip of her drink and reached up to touch Yuri's hair. "What are you doing?"

"Touching your hair, silly," she said. One of Olivia's hands was holding his; the other one was pushing off his hat and intertwining her fingers in his hair. "Do you want to know how to say 'to have coffee' in French?" She asked. Yuri nodded. He was sure he already knew but wanted Olivia to tell him anyway. She told him and he pursed his lips.

"That sounds fucking wrong," Yuri said. "First of all, you didn't even say 'coffee.' Second of all, I might not know what words you just said, but I know that you did not just say 'to have coffee.' Third, if you _did_ just say 'to have coffee,' that must be some regional dialect you've just said it in and I doubt the Academy of Letters recognizes this." Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Yuri, you're so dense at times it literally hurts."

"What do you mean?"

"Is it okay to love you in this trembling night?" She said. She moved in close, not bothering to wait for a response, and kissed him. He was caught off guard and soon they were well into the throes of the kiss. There were two ways tonight could end, and Yuri had to catch himself. He couldn't do this to Victor. Yuri pulled away and wiped his mouth. "What?"

"I can't do this," Yuri said.

"What do you mean?"

"I have a boyfriend." Olivia made a face that Yuri could only interpret as shock and/or indignation. She removed her hands from his body and reached for her drink.

"You do _not_ ," she said. "I've been hitting on you all night and you haven't stopped me."

"…You were hitting on me?" Yuri asked. He dismissed the question. It wasn't important. "It actually doesn't matter at this point. The point I am trying to make is that I can't do this to him and I can't do this with you."

"I don't understand."

"I don't understand what's so hard to get. If this was another time before now I might have gone along with it – maybe – but I can't now. I have something good and I don't want to ruin it all because I'm not in the right state of mind." Yuri felt like he needed to rinse his mouth out. "I'm doing my best to not hurt him again."

"Again? So this has happened before?"

"No, thank goodness," Yuri said. He took a sip of his drink, hoping to sanitize his mouth. He didn't know if or how he would be able to kiss Victor tomorrow with a defiled mouth. Olivia's interest was piqued now. She wanted to pry, but she wanted to listen more. "But I've hurt him before and I don't want to do it again."

"You shouldn't have told me that," she said. Yuri felt that he grasped what Olivia was getting at right now. When he looked over at her and her drink, she was done.

"Do not try and interfere with my relationship." Olivia started to eat the ice out of her glass.

"Who said I was going to?" Yuri furrowed his brow. Now he was confused. "I know you. Now finish your drink. Let's go home."

"What about coffee?" He asked. Olivia rolled her eyes.

"You don't want coffee," she said. "I'll drop you off. Now finish your drink." Yuri looked down at his half-drunk Cosmopolitan. He really didn't want it now, but he had to soldier on. He finished it in three big swigs and looked at his glass. They left Leibniz and Olivia walked Yuri back to his apartment in silence. She gave him a hug goodbye; she walked off before Yuri could even get his key in the door. He sighed.

When he got inside, he flopped on the sofa – coat, shoes, and all. Phichit was probably in bed. His anger might've tired him out. If that was the case, Yuri was grateful. He silently tried to kick off his Docs, but they each made a thud when they hit the floor. Yuri sighed and got up; he put his coat away, but not before he got his phone out. He wanted to talk to Victor.

 _ **: I just came back from dinner.**_

Yuri laid back down on the sofa and brought a knee to his chest. He yawned and put his phone near his chest. Then it buzzed.

 _ **Victor: And? How'd it go?**_  
 _ **: It was exhausting, to say the least.**_  
 _ **: Like, it was good at first! But then it took several weird turns and I don't know how to interpret it or what that's going to entail for my future interactions with her.**_  
 _ **Victor: ((confused emoji))**_  
 _ **: I don't get it either tbh.**_  
 _ **: By the way, you should text me your address so I can come and retrieve you tomorrow.**_  
 _ **Victor: Will do**_

Victor texted Yuri his address. Yuri looked up at the ceiling. He was confused about tonight and what tomorrow might bring. The proverbial rocks haven't been lifted off of his shoulders at all; instead, therewas more rocks added to his bundle. He shed one rock and added several others. Yuri sighed. Despite the nice start, tonight turned out to be a wreck.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: When you read all of Phichit's "hmms," I hope you think of that episode of Spongebob where Patrick and Spongebob raise a baby clam and Spongebob is on Patrick's ass about not taking care of their baby.

Because that's _exactly_ what I think of when I see all of these "hmms."


	65. Chapter 65

Ryuugazaki: I've come to a decision. This section of the fic is ending at 78. I don't know if I'm going to be posting the next section, though. Watch this space.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Five  
 **(Thursday, 3 December 2015 – 2:22am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"Wake up." A pillow made contact with Yuri's face. Phichit was awake now. Yuri opened his eyes and rubbed them. The pillow made contact with Yuri's face again. Yuri forced himself to sit up. He rubbed his eyes again. "Give me your wallet." Yuri checked his phone. It's 2:24am.

So he told Phichit that. "It's 2:24 in the morning, Phichit. Do we have to do this right now?" Yuri yawned. Phichit turned on the lights and looked at Yuri. He sat at the arm of the chair cross-legged. Yuri was still drunk from his sleep. Phichit was unamused and his unamusement forced Yuri from his resting place. He lazily fished his wallet out of his coat pocket. He tossed it to Phichit. It hit Phichit's chest and slid downward. "Sorry," Yuri murmured. Phichit slid off of the arm of the chair and onto the sofa. He opened Yuri's wallet and took everything out of it. Phichit started to sift through the contents of Yuri's wallet; he took out Yuri's debit and credit card, but let Yuri keep his ID and cash.

"Put this back," Phichit said and gave Yuri his ID and cash. Yuri did as Phichit said and sat on he sofa. He sleepily put his ID and money back in his wallet. Phichit got up and went into the kitchen with Yuri's cards. Yuri got up and looked at Phichit work around the kitchen. He turned on the sink and let the water run. Phichit went into the freezer and took out the ice tray. He got an old butter container out of the cabinet and started to put ice in the bottom of the container. Phichit put the cards on the ice and ran water over them.

"What are you doing?!" Phichit put more ice on the credit cards.

"Stopping you from making more reckless purchases." Phichit grabbed the top to the butter container and placed it over the container. He put it in the freezer and turned off the kitchen light. "Now go to bed," Phichit said. He walked out of the kitchen and went back in the room. Yuri yawned. He sleepily put his wallet back in his coat and grabbed his phone. He started to undress in the living room. He folded his clothes and took them into the room. He hadn't dared to step in there since he's come home.

The room was a mess. The closet door was open wide and things seemed to spew from its mouth. In the dark, it kind of looked like a monster and that made Yuri not want to go further in the room. Phichit was in bed, relaxing peacefully. Yuri peeked inside of the room. "Phichit?" Yuri whispered. His response was silence. Yuri set foot inside of the room and felt a wave overtake him. He took another step into the room and decided that he couldn't do this. He withdrew from the room and sat by the wall in front of the room. He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. He was oh so sleepy right now. Yuri closed his eyes and took deep breaths. The monster in the closet couldn't get to him if he remained outside of the room.

So Yuri remained outside of the room.

#

 **(Thursday, 3 December 2015 – 3:15am, Detroit, Michigan)**

"I told you to get in the bed," Phichit said as he poked Yuri in the side with his foot. Yuri covered his face and rolled into the fetal position. "Get in the bed."

"I can't," Yuri sleepily said. "There's a monster in the closet." Phichit deadpanned.

"There's no monster in the closet," Phichit said. He went back into the room and turned on the lights. He opened their bedroom door wide and beckoned Yuri to stand. He did so and let Phichit guide Yuri into the bedroom. He was still anxious about stepping into the room. Phichit tried his best to drag Yuri into the room. When he got him in the room, he opened the closet door wide. "See? No monster." Things were still spilling out from its mouth. Yuri inched towards the door. Phichit looked over at Yuri. "What now?"

"Close the closet door," Yuri murmured. He sat in the corner between the dresser and the wall.

Phichit went to stand in front of Yuri and squatted down. "Yuri, what is going on? You're being irrational right now." Yuri covered his face with his hands. "What's going on? Tell me," he cajoled. Phichit reached out to touch Yuri's face. "Your behavior's all off and I'm worried about you." Yuri reached out to hug Phichit and buried his head in Phichit's chest, squeezing his eyes tight. He was comfortably soft. "You don't usually waste money on exuberant purchases." Phichit squeezed Yuri tight. "And now you're scared of the closet. Are you hallucinating still? Tell me, please." Yuri shrugged.

"I just know that there's something coming out of the closet and it makes me not want to be in here." Phichit stroked Yuri's back and started making cooing sounds to calm him. Phichit started to rock Yuri in his arms.

"I'll close the closet door if it'll make you feel better." Yuri nodded. Phichit got up and closed the closet door. He forced the things spilling out from it back into the closet and dusted himself off. "Are you better now?" Yuri shrugged. Phichit guided Yuri to his bed. Yuri sat down on his bed and rubbed his eyes. Phichit went out into the hallway to get Yuri's clothes.

"Now go to sleep. You have class tomorrow," Phichit said. He placed Yuri's clothes on the desk and stroked Yuri's face. "Go to sleep." Yuri pulled down his bed sheets and placed himself between them. He laid down and looked at the ceiling. "Good, now close your eyes." Yuri sighed. He still felt like something was coming from the closet, but it wasn't bothering him as much now. Maybe he could get some sleep before he would have to get up for class.

#

 **(Thursday, 3 December 2015 – 6:23am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri didn't sleep at all. Instead, he spent his remaining hours cleaning their room. When Yuri came in last night, it was a mess – partially because of the closet. He decided to let Phichit handle that; Yuri decided just to clean the not-closet area. Phichit didn't hear him cleaning at all and Yuri was surprised by that. The room was looking nice and semi-habitable again.

Yuri sat in the living room with a cup of tea. He was looking at Lolita. It had a nice, bright cover on the front and the reviews on the back were glowing. From what he knows about the book, he was a bit surprised that Tal'at would even own it, but she did and now it was in Yuri's hands. He slowly read, keeping his phone on hand to look up words that he didn't understand. Yuri took a sip of tea and turned the page. For a few moments, Yuri wondered how Olivia was doing. He was tempted to text her to check in.

 _ **: Hey**_

Yuri looked at his message and he instantaneously regretted it. After what Olivia pulled last night, he didn't understand why he still wanted to talk to her. His phone buzzed and he jumped.

 _ **Olivia: Good morning**_

He didn't expect her to respond so soon – or at all – seeing as how he denied her something she obviously wanted. He was thinking about that as he cleaned the bedroom. He was thinking about how these people in his life have these needs and expectations of him and how he couldn't possibly hope to satisfy any of them. It was too much pressure for him and he wished that he could just be back home. He understood that going back home would simultaneously be more and less stressful with the expectations. In America, he would have to be on his game 24/7 and surpass everyone academically. In Japan, he would have to help around with the _onsen_ and maybe get a job on the side doing art commissions… That's if he decided to stop skating, that is. When he was cleaning, he genuinely gave thought to the idea of stopping skating while he's at a high point. Plus, he realized that he wouldn't have that much time left _to_ skate so stopping while he was at his proverbial peak didn't seem all that bad.

Yuri took a sip of tea. He had a lot on his mind this morning, but right now he let his mind return to Olivia's text. What should he say in response to her "good morning"? Yuri took another sip of tea.

He settled for a "how are you?" because it was simple and non-threatening.

 _ **Olivia: Tired. My sleep was terrible**_  
 _ **: A tragedy, really.**_

Yuri sipped at his jasmine tea. He was almost done with it. Phichit came from down the hallway. "You're up already?" Phichit sleepily said. Yuri nodded. Phichit flopped on the sofa and cuddled up to Yuri. "Are you mad at me for yelling at you yesterday?" Yuri shook his head. "You know that I care about you and that sometimes you do these things that concern me." Yuri nodded. "I only took your cards to prevent you from doing anything too outlandish like buying a horse or flying all the way to the Czech Republic just to get lost in Prague." Phichit looked up at Yuri.

"Where would I even get a horse in Detroit?" Yuri asked.

"I don't know. Amazon? You buy a lot of stuff off of Amazon." Yuri shrugged.

"Getting lost in Prague sounds about good right now," Yuri murmured. After last night and what he's thought about today, he could get accustomed to getting lost somewhere where no one knows him and where no one has any expectations for him. He could backpack across Europe, forming temporary relationships with temporary people. Suddenly, he understood why Olivia packed up everything and left to get away from everyone. It's a stress-reliever with its own stresses.

"You're not going to Prague," Phichit said as he swatted Yuri's leg. "You're staying with me."

"But, think about it: We're in Prague together and we're walking around and taking pictures. I'm using my new camera. People think we're photographers. We don't get stopped so white people can take pictures with the two Asians." Phichit chuckled. "How does that sound?"

"It _sounds_ nice, but I don't know…" Phichit yawned. "I'd feel more comfortable going somewhere where we spoke the language and is warm. Maybe Havana or Santo Domingo. You could translate for us. Or maybe Trinidad. They speak English in Trinidad, right?" Yuri nodded. "Wait a minute, we are _not_ going on a vacation right now. Stop trying to get me to do things with you."

"But wouldn't it be nice to take a vacation together?"

"You have a boyfriend," Phichit said. Yuri looked down at him. "Go on vacation with him."

"I can't. We're gay," Yuri said. Phichit lightly chuckled.

"You should get ready for your 8am class," Phichit said. Yuri nodded and finished up his tea. Phichit patted Yuri's chest and stopped leaning on him. "I'm going to go back to bed." Phichit kissed Yuri's cheek and went back into their room. Yuri followed Phichit down the hall and went into the bathroom. He turned on the shower faucet to let the water run and get hot. Then he went back into his room to get his clothes out. He settled for a pair of jeans, a shirt with fleurs-de-lis on it, and a space-themed hoodie.

"I have a date tonight," Yuri murmured.

"Oh, another?" Phichit said. He yawned again. Yuri looked back at him. He was huddled up under his blankets. "I'll pick out your clothes before I leave." Yuri nodded. He folded his clothes and placed them on his bed. "Yuri, I have a question, though." Yuri nodded. "Why did you buy six of the same sweater?"

"I needed them." Phichit rolled his eyes. Even Yuri lacked the conviction to convey that he actually needed six of the sweaters.

"Did you need the Mont Blanc pen, too?" Yuri nodded. "Okay, you did _not_ need that," Phichit said. "I'm surprised that you didn't go ass out and buy a bunch of art supplies."

"I think I'd need to go to New York for that. There's this wholesale art supply place in Harlem that you wouldn't let me go to last time we were there. You should let me go in and bathe in sketchbooks and acrylic paint."

"No," Phichit sternly said.

"If Mont Blanc sold plume pens, I would've bought plumes, too."

"No," Phichit said. "Go take your shower." Yuri turned to exit the room and went back into the bathroom. The mirror was starting to get steamy. Yuri stripped and got in the shower to wash away last night's shame. He brushed his teeth while he was in there, too. He didn't have the time to wash his hair nor did he think it was a good idea to wash his hair in this cold.

When Yuri stepped out of the shower, Phichit was fast asleep again. He dried off in the bathroom and started to dress when he went back into the room. Olivia had texted.

 _ **Olivia: There's no need for sarcasm, Yuri Katsuki**_

Yuri rolled his eyes.

 _ **: I wasn't being sarcastic.**_

Yuri lifted his arms and applied deodorant. He sat on his bed and checked his phone. It's 20ºF outside. He sucked his teeth and looked at his shirt. He briefly considered not even going to class today. "But I still have to leave the house," he thought. He laid down on his bed and on his clothes and looked at the ceiling. He looked over at Phichit, sleeping peacefully. He was envious that he could just sleep peacefully without having to be considerate of any monsters in the walls or looming shadows in the corner or constant disembodied screams. In that moment, he hated being neurodivergent and he hated being alive.

After a bout of self-loathing, he got up and went to get a turtleneck out of the drawer. He decided to wear that under his shirt. After that, he decided that it was just best if he left and went to school. He left the apartment, still dreading what might come.

#

 **(Thursday, 3 December 2015 – 11:15am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Professor Faucheux decided to end class early today. Yuri was grateful; he was reaching the end of his short rope with French for today. He wasn't even sure if his French was even improving anymore. He thought that he might have reached a plateau and that he'd need something big to break it.

Right now, Yuri was in the library, reading Lolita. Someone plopped down next to him. "Hey!" It's Khoudia. Yuri nodded in acknowledgment. "So, two things: 1. Phichit is really mad at me. And 2. How'd your dinner with Olivia go last night?" Yuri sighed and closed his book. Khoudia leaned back on the sofa.

"I'm surprised that you're actually on campus. Again." Khoudia giggled. "I know Phichit is mad. He upbraided me last night."

"No, like, when he called me last night, he was _super_ mad. I think that's the angriest he's ever been since I've met him." Yuri nodded. "He said that he will actually come for my head if I let the Moscow situation happen again. So, for my sake, please try to chill the fuck out between now and the Grand Prix."

"I'm trying, Khoudia," Yuri murmured. "I'm really trying."

"I believe you." She kissed his cheek. "So how was dinner with Olivia last night?" Yuri shrugged. "Come on, you have to know. Give me a summary. I want the deets." Yuri looked at her and squinted. "Yeah, that sounded weird coming from me, too. I solemnly swear to never say that again."

"Good," Yuri said. "And I don't know, like… Dinner was kinda going well – at least, I thought it was going well. Then we went out for drinks and she's openly propositioned me and now I'm confused."

"Proposition how?" Khoudia took out her phone and started to swipe back and forth between her two screens.

"Like…" Yuri thought how he could explain it to her. Then he decided to just be forward about it. "She wanted sex." Khoudia slightly tilted her head to one side and squinted. "Apparently she was hitting on me the entire night and I agreed to 'coffee.'"

"Did she really use 'coffee' as a euphemism for fornicating?" Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Disgusting. Why is she trying to sully coffee for everyone?" She stopped swiping between the screens. "What else did she do?"

"She kissed me." Khoudia put her phone away and put her head in her hands. "I know, right?"

"You can never see her again," she said. "Like, ever. Don't agree to go out to dinner with her. Don't take her up on her offer to see a movie. Don't invite her out to the bar. Cut her off like a foot with gangrene. Shoot her down like she's a rabid dog."

"But–"

"No 'buts' about it. Stop talking to her." Khoudia grabbed Yuri's hand and stroked it. "She's no good and she actually knows this. She is honestly one of the worst human being that I could ever have the misfortune of encountering."

"Are you saying that because you _hate_ her or because you _love_ her?" Khoudia looked offended that Yuri would even suggest that. "It's an honest question."

"Yuri, you don't say things like 'I hate so-and-so's guts' and 'this person is a terrible human being and they need to be set on fire' because you're in love with them." Khoudia snorted. The only feeling that she was trying to convey was contempt.

"Well, _you_ do," he said with equal amounts of derision.

"Yuri, I am not in love with Olivia." Yuri shrugged. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"Not one bit," he said. Khoudia rolled her eyes.

"I don't know what I could possibly say that would convince you otherwise." Khoudia sighed. She wasn't going to get anywhere with this conversation. Yuri noticed that that's how conversations about Olivia or Khoudia _involving_ Khoudia or Olivia end up – going nowhere. "Do you want to hunt down Phichit and get a hot chocolate?"

"I think he's in his eastern religions class right now."

"That class meets twice a week?" Khoudia asked. "I thought that class was on Tuesdays." Yuri shrugged. "Text him and see." Yuri lazily took out his phone.

 _ **: What class are you in rn?**_  
 _ **Phichit: Chemistry. It's a double session. Plus, I'm planning on getting tutoring after.**_  
 _ **: Whoops.**_  
 _ **: Wait why are you on your phone? Pay attention.**_

"So?"

"He's in chemistry. It's a double session."

"So, I guess it's just us then." Khoudia got up and zipped up her coat. Yuri had registered that she was wearing her coat, but he didn't notice it on her until she started to pull at it.

"So what brings you to the campus today?" Yuri asked. He started to put his arms in the sleeves of his coat. "What did your sisters do now?"

"Can't I just come to class because I want to learn?" Yuri shrugged. "Wow. So _that's_ how you think of me. I can't be passionate about education according to you."

"You're putting words in my mouth," Yuri said. "I just shrugged because I don't have a complete idea on your mindset regarding… What class do you have today?"

"I don't know. Some class," she said. Yuri looked at her with a deadpan expression.

"And you're here for class." Yuri rolled his eyes.

"Shut up. I'm here to learn. I just don't remember what I've learned so far."

"What kind of dissociation…?" Yuri said. Khoudia rolled her eyes. "Khoudia, you're something else sometimes." She shrugged. They started to exit the library when Yuri encountered his art history professor.

"Remember what I told you yesterday, Mr. Katsuki," she said as she passed by. Yuri nodded in acknowledgment of her statement. He held Khoudia's hand so she wouldn't say anything outlandish in front of her. Yuri looked back at his professor and waited for her to finally enter the library. He let go of Khoudia's hand.

"Why she look like she stepped out of Hocus Pocus?" Khoudia asked. She seemed like she was bursting at the seams to say that. "What the fuck is her stringy ass hair? And her clothes? And her makeup? Her family must not love her. Her friends were never real with her for letting her leave the house like that." Yuri started to laugh. He pressed the down button and wiped his eyes. "I'm being serious. They don't love her." The elevator came and they got on. "All I'm saying is that she needs to learn how to love herself."

"I get what you're saying, but come on." The elevator stopped at the second floor. No one got on.

"It's true!" Khoudia leaned on Yuri. "My sisters may hate me, but they love me enough to not let me leave the house looking raggedy." They got off of the elevator and exited the campus. They walked out of the building and to the crosswalk. "So Phichit told me that you have a date with Victor." She playfully bumped him. "What are y'all doing?"

"We're going to dinner."

"And?" She says, winking.

"I don't know. We're probably going to talk."

"And?" She says. Yuri started to laugh. "Are you going to get… sausage?" Yuri laughed harder. Khoudia was in stitches. "What restaurant are y'all going to?"

"This Cajun restaurant. I had a cake from there before." The light changed and they walked briskly. "The cake was really good! We should get a cake from there!" Khoudia lightly giggled. Unlike her regular laugh, it was sweet and soft and didn't strike fear into those around her.

"What's the food like?"

"There's a lot of seafood if I remember correctly," Yuri said.

"Oh, never mind. I can't eat it." She shrugged and sheepishly chuckled. "Allah likes to play these games where he dangles something so nice in front of my face – so nice – and then he snatches it away from me." She made a face and then she chuckled. "Actually, I just described _dunya_ and the workings of Shaitan. Ignore me."

"What is _dunya_?"

"Etymologically speaking, it means 'what is brought near.' It essentially talks about the temporal rather than the hereafter – that's _akhirah_." Yuri nodded. " _Dunya_ is a test; it is to be overcome rather than succumbed to." Yuri opened the door to the café for themselves. "I don't remember all of the specifics of _dunya_ and the theological significance of it, but I remember that being the main reason I decided not to come out when I was younger." Yuri placed their bags at a table and went to join Khoudia in line.

"That's… an interesting reason to not come out. Do you mind explaining further?"

"Sexuality is part of _dunya_. By focusing on _akhirah_ and being a good Muslim, I can get closer to Allah and hopefully shed myself of the aspects of _dunya_ that are part of me." Yuri nodded. "I don't think it worked very well. I am a very _dunya_ -minded person nowadays."

"Did it make you happy? Denying yourself, I mean."

"No. I was sad all the time. I tried to make myself normal, but nothing I did worked." Khoudia pursed her lips. "I don't know what made me stop trying, but I'm happier for that. I think." She shrugged.

"We're humans and we are meant to experience the full brunt of human emotions no matter how it pains us," Yuri said. "Denying yourself is a surefire way to ensure that you're unhappy." Yuri patted Khoudia's head and let his hand rest there. "It's okay to put yourself before a dogma."

"Why are you saying this?" They moved up the line.

"I want to see you happy," Yuri said. "It pains me to think that there might be a point where you slip back into that self-loathing and I want to be there to make it go away. But I can't because that's something you need to handle on your own. I can't take away the pain, but I can give you the support you need to do it yourself."

"When did you become so judicious?" Khoudia asked.

Yuri shrugged and said, "Somewhere between falling in love with Jason and meeting Victor."

"So you loved that guy?" Yuri nodded. They moved up the line again.

"It wasn't returned, obviously," Yuri said. "You kind of get used to feelings not being returned after a while." Khoudia nodded. "But this isn't about me. This is about _you_. Don't do things that you know will make you unhappy only because you're being promised some immaterial afterlife. Thich Nhat Hanh said, 'If you abandon the present moment you cannot live the moments of your daily life deeply.' Your life is now." Yuri placed his hand on Khoudia's shoulder. They were next.

"I'll pay for you," Khoudia said. "That was really astute. Thank you for that, Yuri."

"No, thank _you_ , Khoudia." They moved up the line and they ordered. Khoudia, keeping her word, paid for their hot chocolates. They returned to their bags and sat.

"Oh, oh! I remember what class I was in!" She chirped. She reached out to grab Yuri's forearm. "I was in audio production. We learned about… I don't fucking know. Audio production." Yuri rolled his eyes. "I'm trying, okay?"

"I know you're trying," Yuri said. "So, how does it feel to know that we'll be in France next week?"

"I am simultaneously anxious and excited." She took the cap off of her hot chocolate and started to blow. "We're going to be with the crème de la crème of the skating world. It's amazing. We can _not_ fuck this up." Yuri nodded. "Hey," she said, smiling.

"What?"

"Can you introduce me to Victor at the Grand Prix?" She grinned. Yuri had a deadpan expression on his face. "I feel like I should have the opportunity to meet your baby."

"I'll think about it," Yuri said.

"I'll have to see him _eventually_ ," Khoudia slurred. "I just want to look at him. Size him up, you know?"

"I know what you're saying, but Phichit already did that." Khoudia nodded. "He likes him. He wants to sit down and have tea with him."

"I want to meet him too, though."

"Are you going to ask for an autograph?" Yuri asked.

"Well, maybe!" She looked down at her hot chocolate and briefly debated on putting the top on it. "I might even ask for a selfie. I haven't figured out what I want when I see him yet." Yuri rolled his eyes. "But I will most definitely size him up and give you my honest opinion about him."

"I don't think you're capable of sizing him up, to be honest," Yuri said. "I think you're too small to do that."

"Oh shut _up_ ," Khoudia said. "I might be small, but I can pick out a fuckboy like that!" She snapped her fingers.

"I believe you," Yuri said with a chuckle. "You do have a knack for telling guys about themselves."

"Let your friend meet your boyfriend," the blue-haired woman behind them said. "Friends often pick up on things that you ignore."

"Th-thank you, ma'am," Yuri sheepishly said. He smiled at her.

"It's no problem. I just hate seeing kids make stupid mistakes." The blue-haired woman returned to her coffee. Khoudia smiled.

"So it's settled! I'm meeting your baby!" She put the cap on her hot chocolate and brought it to her lips. She made a face. It must have scorched her lips. "I promise I won't embarrass you or anything like that or spill any tea on you." Yuri rolled his eyes. "I'm so excited! I get to meet your baby!" Khoudia was giddy. Yuri, despite the dread in his chest regarding the situation and the Grand Prix, was a bit giddy, too.

#

 **(Thursday, 2 December 2015 – 7:00pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was waiting for Victor outside of his apartment door. He was hesitating to knock on his door. He wanted to give Victor enough time to get dressed and mentally prepare himself for tonight. Yuri was leaning against the door. After a minute or so, it opened. Yuri stumbled and turned around. "Hello," he said with a beaming smile. "Have you been waiting long?"

"I don't think so," Yuri said. "I was trying to give you enough time to get ready and get yourself in the zone for tonight."

"Why would I need to be 'in the zone' for tonight?" Victor asked. Yuri didn't have an answer for him. "Come in. I'm almost ready." Yuri followed Victor inside the apartment and sat on the sofa. Victor's shirt was partially unbuttoned. Yuri had to remind himself to breathe. He was apprehensive about tonight and he was also horrendously thirsty. "Do you want to button my shirt?" Yuri looked at Victor. "Come here." Yuri got up and stood in front of him. He started to meditate on The Hymn of Universal Love as he slowly buttoned Victor's shirt. Victor grabbed his hand when he reached the penultimate button.

"Do not do that," Yuri said. "You're distracting me enough." Victor rolled his eyes.

"I'm glad I distract you." Yuri rolled his eyes and smiled. He kissed Victor and finished buttoning his shirt.

"There you go," Yuri said. He patted Victor's shoulders and passed him his sports jacket. Victor put it on and kissed Yuri. Victor bent down to put on his shoes and Yuri leaned on the arm of the sofa. "How was your day? I didn't see you at all earlier."

"It was fine. I missed your presence earlier, though," he said.

"Khoudia got to me before you and asked if I wanted to get a hot chocolate with her." Victor nodded and brushed something small off of his trousers. "So I might have missed you. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You're here right now and I'm glad." Victor grabbed his coat and put it on. "Ready to go?"

"Do you have your keys?" Victor nodded. They left Victor's apartment and walked down the stairs. When they hit the front door, Yuri took out his gloves and then his phone. Yuri directed Victor to the bus stop and they waited.

"So how is Khoudia?" Yuri was snapped out of his almost trance when he heard that.

"She's fine," Yuri said. "We talked about the Grand Prix. She's beyond excited."

"Are you?"

"I think I will be once I get past the anxiety surrounding it." Yuri leaned against the bus sign.

"What's making you anxious about it?" Victor asked. Yuri sucked his teeth and shrugged. "It's going to be fine." He grabbed Yuri's hand. "You're going to skate and you're going to do great. I believe in you." Yuri sighed. Then he smiled.

"You're saying that as my boyfriend, aren't you?"

"No, I don't think so," he said. "If I was saying this as a skater, I think I would still tell you that you're going to do great." Victor placed his lips against Yuri's forehead.

"You _think_ ," Yuri said.

"Gross!" Someone yelled. Victor and Yuri looked over to where they heard the voice come from. Yuri threw his arm around Victor and moved closer to him as a habit. He half-expected Victor to pull away from him, but Victor threw his arms around Yuri, too. In retrospect, in Yuri's mind, if he was being called gross because he was with a certain person, he probably shouldn't move closer _to_ the person. The person who yelled at them kept walking, reeling in disgust.

"I'm sorry," Yuri murmured.

"Why are you sorry?" Victor asked. He stroked Yuri's hair. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't with me." Victor shrugged and kissed Yuri's forehead.

"Don't worry about it. It's worse in Russia," Victor said. "If we were there, we would've gotten more than 'gross.'" The bus came. "So don't worry about it. We have a dinner to go to." Yuri smiled despite his fear and worry over what happened.

After thirty minutes or so, they got off of the bus and walked towards Fishbone's. They were seated promptly and looked at their menus. "So how'd your dinner go last night?" Victor asked. Yuri was stunned by his question. He internally questioned why he was stunned; of course, Victor would ask how it went – it's Victor.

"It went fine," Yuri said, his voice crackled. Victor looked up from his menu and at Yuri. There was a silence between them.

When Victor decided to say something, he hit Yuri with, "Why are you lying?" Yuri looked at Victor and returned his attention to his menu.

"I'm not lying," Yuri said. He kept his gaze downward.

"Yes, you are." Yuri looked back up from his menu. "What happened at dinner?" Yuri remained silent. "I'll go to the bathroom and give you time to think." Victor got up and went to find the bathroom. Yuri exhaled and put his head in his hands. How is he going to tell Victor about last night? He started to bounce his leg and look at his menu. He tried to focus on what to get while trying to piece together what he wanted to admit and what to omit. So far, he wanted to omit the entire night. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Ketty: Are you in Fishbone's right now?**_  
 _ **: Yeah**_  
 _ **Ketty: Okay, then my eyes aren't deceiving me.**_

Yuri squinted and looked at his phone. He presumed that – from her last text – that she must be somewhere nearby. Ketevan walked over to Yuri's table. "Hey!" She said. "Long time no see! How have you been since I gave you the demo?"

"I've been fine," Yuri said.

"Are you still skating?" Yuri nodded. "That's good to hear." She leaned her hip against the table. "How's Phichit? Is he still a poli sci major?" Yuri nodded. "That's good. I would've asked sooner, but you two are hard to get a hold of for some reason." Yuri checked his phone. He didn't have any recent texts from Ketevan.

"You haven't texted me, though," Yuri said.

"I figured I'd have a better chance of getting a response from Phichit so I usually text him." Yuri nodded.

"So, what brings you to Fishbone's?"

"I'm just here with a few friends. They were craving Cajun food tonight." Yuri nodded. "Who was that guy you're with?" Out of the corner of Yuri's eye, he saw Victor come back from the bathroom.

"Sorry if my hands are still wet, солнышко. The hand dryer kind of broke when I was using it." Ketevan looked at Victor and Victor looked at her. "Yuri, who's this?" He asked softly and reached out to touch Yuri's hand.

"Victor, this is Ketevan. She's a conservatory student at Wayne." He nodded. "Ketty, this is Victor. He's my boyfriend." Yuri felt his face get warm.

"I see," she said. "Well, it was nice seeing you tonight. I'll text you!" Ketevan said and walked back to her seat. Yuri started to run his fingernail against the hemming of the tablecloth.

"She seems nice," Victor said. "Have you known her long?" Yuri shrugged. He didn't know if 'two years' would be considered to be 'long.' He's known Khoudia for three years and, in Yuri's mind, it doesn't feel like it's been long at all. "Have you figured out what you want to tell me about last night?"

"No, Ketty's arrival distracted me from gathering my thoughts." Yuri stopped playing with the hem. "But the dinner was kind of nice," Yuri said.

"Kind of?" Yuri nodded. "What happened that made it not nice?" Yuri bit his lip and looked at Victor's hand over his. The sensation was conflicting for him. He wanted Victor's hand there, but he didn't think he could bear having his hand there.

"She hit on me last night." Victor nodded.

"And? What did you do?"

"I told her that I have a boyfriend. She didn't believe me." Victor nodded again. He seemed to be waiting for more.

"Was that so difficult?"

"Immensely," Yuri said. "I feel really bad about it." He kept his gaze towards his menu. He settled for jambalaya despite his anxiety around losing the novelty of having jambalaya.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Victor said. His voice was soft. "So, where did you go for dinner?"

"This barbeque place not too far from here." Victor nodded. "Can we change the topic? Thinking about Olivia makes me uncomfortable."

"I just have one thing to say," Victor said. Yuri nodded. "You don't ever have to see her again."

"Thank you for telling me that." Yuri smiled. The waitress came to take their order. They ordered and the waitress took their menus. Yuri started to look at his fingers. He had a burning question to ask Victor and he felt kind of bad for having to ask it.

"Did something happen?"

"Kind of," Yuri murmured. "I'm just wondering when is our anniversary." Yuri looked up at Victor. His face was blank.

"I… don't know," Victor admitted. "When did we go on our first date?"

"November 6."

"That's our anniversary now." Yuri nodded. Victor smiled. "What got you thinking about that?" He asked.

"Well, I was thinking about how couples usually have anniversaries and stuff. So I wondered when ours is." Victor smiled and ran his fingers over Yuri's knuckles. Yuri felt his face get hot. "It's nice."

"What's nice?"

"That we have an anniversary." Yuri started to play with the hem of the tablecloth. Then an unwelcome thought came to his mind: Would he even have anniversaries with Victor? He was highly welcome to the thought of having future anniversaries with Victor, but that's only if Victor wanted to be with him. If Victor didn't want that as much as Yuri, then anniversaries would mean nothing. And Yuri wanted this.

"You look stressed, baby," Victor said. Yuri felt his face get warm.

"You called me 'baby,'" he gushed.

"Why wouldn't I?" Victor put pressure on Yuri's hand. "You still look stressed. Something on your mind?"

"I was just thinking."

"About what?" Yuri shrugged. "Come on, you know what you were thinking about."

"Fine, I was actually thinking about how I don't like sloths." Victor looked at Yuri with a blank expression. "I was also thinking about how time is an abstract concept that all living things pretend to understand." Victor just kept looking at Yuri. "What?"

"Is this what you usually think about?"

"I don't know. Sometimes I think about flamingos. Flamingos are cool." The waitress came with their food. Yuri looked at his fork; it seemed fine.

"Your brain is a weird place, isn't it?" Yuri nodded. "What do you think about flamingos?"

"I think about how there's four types of flamingos in the Americas." Victor nodded. "They're pretty cool birds. Their eyes scare me, but they're pretty cool." Yuri put his fork in his jambalaya. "Did you know that American flamingos can drink near-boiling water?"

"I did not," Victor said.

"Well, now you do!" Victor grabbed his fork and put it into Yuri's food. He took a bite of his jambalaya. Yuri looked at him. "Why would you do that? You have food."

"I wanted to know how it tastes." Victor went in for another forkful. "It tastes great. I think you'll enjoy it." Yuri and Victor smiled. Yuri took a forkful of jambalaya. It was spicy and he loved it. "So, what else do you think about?"

"I still want to touch a whale," Yuri said as he took another forkful.

"I will find an aquarium where they have whales so we can go and touch one," Victor said. Yuri grinned. Victor took out his phone. "Pose for me." Yuri smiled and threw up a peace sign.

"Is that for Chris?" Victor nodded. Yuri took out his phone and snapped two flicks of Victor when he was looking at his phone.

"Did you take a picture of me?" Yuri nodded. "Are you going to send it to Phichit?"

"No," Yuri simply said. Victor smirked.

"What are you going to do with it?" Victor started to eat his own food.

"Look at it. Maybe draw it." Victor smirked again. "What?"

"All you do is look and draw?"

Yuri shrugged. "Sometimes." Yuri placed his fork in his jambalaya. "Sometimes I think about how perfect you look in the photo and I wonder how I got so lucky."

"I think I'm the lucky one here," Victor said as he took a sip of his beverage.

"No, you don't understand," Yuri said. "The Jupiter Conservator of the skating world is right here with me. He is my boyfriend. We go to class together. We do stuff together. I cannot believe that this is actually happening. It has been several months and I still cannot believe that this is happening." Yuri took a sip of his drink. "Like, come _on_ , my guy."

"…Jupiter Conservator?" Victor slowly questioned. Yuri blushed. He had never gushed about Victor _to_ Victor before.

"That's what Khoudia calls you. It's kind of rubbed off."

"Jupiter Conservator," Victor repeated. "What else has Khoudia called me?"

"I know she's called you 'The Most Merciful,' but she's said a lot more."

"The Most Merciful?" Yuri nodded. "Those are… interesting." Victor wound the fettuccine in his Pasta Orleans around his fork. "Where did she get 'The Most Merciful' from?"

"I think it's a title of Allah?" Yuri wasn't sure. "I think her logic is that you're god- _like_ so she was getting at that? I think?" Yuri shrugged. "Khoudia's an experience. I don't know what she's thinking when she does things half the time." Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Mari: Okay, I've figured out what I want to say.**_

"Who is it?"

"It's my sister." Victor tried to get a look at Yuri's screen.

"Reply to her." Victor ate a piece of shrimp from his dish.

 _ **: Oh? And?**_  
 _ **Mari: You're really, really, REALLY not going to like it.**_  
 _ **Mari: But first, what are you doing?**_  
 _ **: I'm on a date.**_

"Does your sister know about me?" Yuri nodded and put his phone on the table. "What did you tell her?" Yuri looked up at the ceiling from beneath his lashes.

"I don't really remember," Yuri said. "I think I told her that– Actually, I can't tell you that." Victor's brows raised.

"Now I _have_ to know what you told her."

"No, it's supposed to be a surprise," Yuri said.

"What kind of surprise?"

"I can't tell you or else it's not a surprise." Victor rolled his eyes. "I haven't even finished it yet. It's so big." Victor wrapped more fettuccine around the prongs of his fork.

"What's the surprise for? Any special occasion?" Victor winked. Yuri blushed and smiled goofily.

"When I finish it, I'll let you know." Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Mari: Ooh a date**_  
 _ **Mari: What happened with that guy you wanted to bring home?**_

"Your sister still?" Yuri nodded. "What is she talking about?"

"She's surprised that I'm on a date." Victor smiled.

"Are people usually surprised when you go on dates?" Victor asked.

"As of recently, yes," Yuri said. "But also my sister isn't used to me dating. She'll get used to it eventually." Victor nodded and smiled. "What do you want to do after we eat?"

"What do people usually do after dinner?"

"Well, Olivia and I went out for drinks last night. Do you want to go out for drinks?" Victor smiled. "We don't have to do that, you know. We could… I don't know…"

"I think I'd like to get a drink with you." Victor smiled. "Actually, I'm _certain_ that I'd like to get a drink with you." Victor started to stroke Yuri's knuckles again. He wasn't certain that he could get through the night.

#

 **(Thursday, 3 December 2015 – 11:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri came in silently, being mindful of every sound he makes. Phichit was on the sofa, talking to Khoudia. "He just got home," Phichit told her. He put her on speaker.

"It's late," she observed.

"I know," Yuri said. He plopped next to Phichit. "How was your night, Phichit?"

"It was fine. I caught up on my work, but I got bored without you here so I called Khoudia."

"This is all well and good, but…" Khoudia said. "There is one important question that no one is asking here." Yuri rolled his eyes and mentally prepared himself for what she could possibly ask him. Knowing her, it would either be invasive or something that wasn't an important question at all. "Did you give neck?" Oh, it was both this time.

"No," Yuri said.

"I don't believe you. Phichit, smell his breath."

Yuri looked over at Phichit. "You better not," Yuri said. Phichit had a pained, confused look on his face.

"I'm sorry, Yuri, but I have to," Phichit said. "Open your mouth." Yuri rolled his eyes and begrudgingly opened his mouth. Phichit sniffed. "It smells like peppers, alcohol, and soda."

"Yeah, because all Victor and I did was go out for drinks after our dinner," Yuri curtly said. "I'm actually disappointed that the both of you think I am so much of a hoe that I would give head on the third date."

"You've fucked on the first and second," Khoudia pointed out. Yuri rolled his eyes. "So apparently you _are_ that much of a hoe and you _would_ give head on the third date." Khoudia laughed. "I make my conclusions based on the evidence provided and, based on _this_ evidence, you're a hoe and you suck dick."

"I learned from the best," Yuri said.

"I know, right?" Khoudia said. Something – presumably her braids – hit the microphone on the phone. "I'm the top hoe here and don't y'all forget it."

"Trust us, we won't forget," Phichit said. "You won't let us forget." Phichit yawned. "I think I'm going to go to bed now."

"Okay," Khoudia said.

"Make sure Aida and Yande are asleep before you lay down," Phichit said.

"They already are." Khoudia flopped on something. "I don't know how they slept through my screaming. These kids are amazing. I love them so much."

"And we love you," Yuri said. "Goodnight, Khoudia." Phichit ended the call. He yawned. "You should get to bed. You have class tomorrow."

"You should get to bed, too. You can tell me about your date tomorrow." Yuri nodded. He pulled off his sweater and started to unbutton his shirt. "Hey, at least fold your sweater," Phichit said as he got up to fold Yuri's sweater. Yuri shrugged. Phichit finished folding the sweater and placed it on the arm of the chair. Yuri yawned and finished unbuttoning his shirt. "Your hickeys are healing." Phichit yawned and stretched. Yuri got up to pull off his pants. He yawned and lazily folded his pants. "Oh my god, give me your pants. You're a mess. Just go to bed." Yuri pulled off his socks and gave them to Phichit.

Yuri grabbed his phone and staggered into the room. He quickly shot Victor a text to let him know that he's home and in one piece. Victor had returned his text with a selfie of himself, cuddled up with a pillow and enveloped in a soft blanket. Yuri returned his text with a blurry selfie.

Then he remembered that he had to text Mari when he got home, too.

 ** _: I'm home now_**

Yuri sent the same selfie he sent to Victor to Mari.

 _ **Mari: I feel like this selfie means something**_  
 _ **Mari: Have you started doing postmodern art?**_  
 _ **: My entire life is a piece of postmodern art.**_  
 _ **Mari: Nice, nice. So anyway about that news**_  
 _ **: Okay.**_  
 _ **Mari: Vicchan**_  
 _ **: Okay?**_

Mari sent a lone sentence fragment telling Yuri about Vicchan and, in combination with the alcohol, he felt like he was falling off of a Ferris wheel. He wasn't sure if he was reading that text right because he was seeing double. If he was reading this wrong, he would respond in the morning and ask his sister to explain her cruel joke. And, if he was reading this correctly, he genuinely thought that his sister was an awful human being. Not Olivia levels of awful human being, but an awful human being nonetheless.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I hope your Christmas is very merry and your Kwanzaa is fruitful.


	66. Chapter 66

Ryuugazaki: I forgot that today was Friday and that y'all get updates on Fridays.

* * *

Chapter Six Six Sixties  
 **(Friday, 4 December 2015 – 6:24am, Detroit, Michigan)**

It's settled. Mari is an awful human being. Yuri never wanted to talk to her again. He was hurt by how long she waited to tell him and hurt by the demise of his beloved companion. He woke up at 3am, unsettled by the news. Since then, he's read and reread the text. With every time he read it, he would feel more and more hurt. He didn't know why he was torturing himself like this; he got the meaning of the text the second time around. Nevertheless, he kept rereading it, hoping to find a different meaning in it with every read.

Phichit was still asleep and Yuri didn't have the heart to wake him. Khoudia was – without a doubt – asleep still, too. Adé was probably asleep, too. So Yuri was alone in his anguish. He was in the living room, curled up into the corner of the sofa. He wasn't sure if he was emotionally capable of going to ballet this morning or going out with Victor this afternoon. Yuri yawned and buried his face in the space between the arm of the chair and the back cushioning. He let the tears fall. He sobbed lightly and silently, keeping in mind that Phichit was in the next room. He didn't want to wake him and have to verbally express the pain that he's in. Not when he's had so little time to process it all.

Yuri shivered from the draft that was coming from under the door. He didn't put on any pajamas last night because the alcohol was keeping him warm and he didn't think to get a blanket or put on anything when he got up. The draft was still there and Yuri was still balled up in the corner of the sofa. He shivered but didn't make any moves to change the situation. If this draft could actually kill him, he would let it do it gladly. Mari's news, in combination with several other things he's been trying to keep at bay, made him want to die.

#

 **(Friday, 4 December 2015 – 6:29pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri laid on the sofa, still cold but less so. Phichit had brought him a set of pajamas to put on before he left. He didn't ask why he was on the sofa and why he didn't put on any pajamas. Instead, he just gave the pajamas and a blanket to Yuri and continued about getting ready for class.

So Yuri was on the sofa, wrapped in the blanket and listening to The Downward Spiral on repeat. Right now, Yuri only paid attention to two things: 1) the screams of agony in the song and 2) the various voices he was hearing. They were taking very well-aimed jabs at him and who he is as a person. They weren't helping his feelings of depression at all. One particular voice scared him; it sounded like his maternal grandfather and he wasn't being very kind. It's not like he ever was, but the voice that sounded like his grandfather had very graphic ideas on what he could do on the sixth-floor window.

Yuri then started to think about Eduvigis. He felt extremely bad about missing his lesson today. He had emailed Eduvigis about missing class and had apologized several times in the email, but he knew that wouldn't be enough for her. Yuri rightfully suspected that she would have a fit. Eduvigis was diligent and very aware of the changes in her students. She's like a mother hen and Yuri loved that about Eduvigis. Mama Eduvigis.

The draft from earlier was still there and Yuri had only moved from his space once – and that was to put on his pajamas and get under the blanket. He was still balled up in the corner of the sofa, the blanket over his head. Yuri only knew about the draft because one of his feet was grazing the floor.

Yuri didn't go to the museum today either. Victor had turned up at the apartment to check in on him, but Yuri turned him away. He didn't pry and he didn't complain – as much as he'd like to. Yuri realized that he would have to apologize and make atonements once he's at a better place. "That's if Victor wants to see me again after this, that is," he thought. He brought his free foot up onto the sofa and tucked it under his thigh. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Mari: Hey little brother, how are you?**_

Yuri looked at his phone through swollen eyes. Yuri wasn't crying when Victor dropped by, but he's been crying since he's left. His hands were shaking and he couldn't get his thumbs to cooperate. So he tried the text-to-speech option. "I," he paused, "am a wreck." His iPhone got all of that and he sent it to Mari.

 _ **Mari: I figured that would happen. That's why I kept putting it off.**_

"You should have told me sooner," he murmured as he tried to breathe. Then he hit the arrow. As soon as he said that, Yuri saw the ellipses come and go.

 _ **Mari: I didn't know how you'd react. Plus, with your** **skating** ** _,_ I figured that it would be best to wait until you were done.**_

"I am not done," Yuri said. "The Grand Prix is next week and I am skating and you decided to drop this bombshell right before I'm going to France." He sent the message and wiped his eyes. They were puffy and raw. Yuri heard the familiar jingle of keys.

"I'm home!" Phichit yelled and shut the door. "Have you been in that spot all day? Why are you listening to this song?" Phichit asked. He walked over to the sofa and pulled the blanket off of Yuri's head. He audibly gasped. "Are you okay?" Phichit grabbed Yuri's face and examined it. "Why are you crying? Did something happen?" Yuri nodded and buried his face in Phichit's chest. "What did Victor do that made you cry?"

"It wasn't him," Yuri said between sobs. Phichit reached for Yuri's phone and placed it on the coffee table.

"Go put a cold washcloth on your face. I'll make you some tea." Yuri obliged and went to the bathroom. He grabbed the spare, lime green washcloth from the towel rack and rinsed it. Then he rinsed it again with cold water and shivered. He wrung out the washcloth and returned to the living room. Phichit was at the stove, boiling water for the tea. Yuri sat in his spot and brought his knees to his chest. He placed the washcloth over his eyes and tilted his head back. Yuri heard his phone buzz against the coffee table.

 _ **Mari: …You're NOT done skating for the season?**_  
 _ **Mari: …Whoops…**_

Minutes passed and Phichit came out with two cups of tea: one for Yuri and one for himself. He sat down next to Yuri and put Yuri's teacup in his hands. "Now, tell me what's going on," he gently said. Yuri reached for his phone and unlocked it. He scrolled up to Mari's message from last night.

"Read from there," Yuri said. Phichit nodded. He damn near dropped the phone when he read the first line. After that, Phichit immediately put down Yuri's phone and pulled Yuri into a hug. "Yeah."

"I'm so sorry," Phichit said. "Mari isn't very good at having tact, is she?" Yuri shook his head. He put down his tea and placed the washcloth on the coffee table. Yuri drew his knees to his chest again. "Would you prefer it if I left you alone?" Yuri shook his head. "Okay," he said. "So Mari waited how long to tell you?" Yuri shrugged. "Do you want me to ask her?" Yuri nodded.

 _ **: Hey Mari, it's Phichit. How long did you wait to tell Yuri about Vicchan?**_  
 _ **Mari: Hey Phichit. Vicchan hasn't been with us since October.**_

"She said since October." Hearing that made Yuri want to cry more. "Oh no." Phichit started to run the palm of his hand up and down Yuri's back to calm him.

 _ **Mari: Is he okay? Should I call him?**_

"Mari wants to know if it's okay to call."

"No," Yuri whimpered.

 _ **: He said no.**_

Yuri wiped his eyes on Phichit's shirt. "Let me go put on something softer so you can continue crying on me." Yuri pulled away from Phichit and wiped his eyes. "Drink your tea," Phichit said. He got up and went to the back to change. Yuri turned his attention to his tea. He grabbed the mug; it was still hot. Yuri blew on his tea and tried to take a sip. His hands were still shaking. Yuri held his mug in his trembling hands and tried to breathe slowly.

 _ **Mari: I'm really sorry.**_  
 _ **Mari: I really wanted to tell you sooner.**_

Yuri wiped his sore eyes and winced. Yuri looked at his sister's messages and felt nothing. He turned his attention towards his tea again. He brought the mug to his lips and took a sip despite his trembling. Phichit picked chamomile tea. He took small sips of tea and felt his muscles relax. Yuri picked up his phone and debated on texting Victor to apologize for today. He went to the messages he's shared with Victor.

 _ **: Sorry about having to cancel on you at the last minute. I feel really bad about not telling you and letting you come all the way to my door only for me to tell you to go away.**_

Yuri looked at his text. He didn't do anything with it; instead, he went back to Mari's messages. He put his phone down when Phichit came back into the room. "What did Mari say?" He paused The Downward Spiral. "Stop listening to that." Yuri unlocked his phone and gave it to Phichit. He read through the recent texts.

 _ **: Then why didn't you? – Phichit**_  
 _ **Mari: Like I told him, I wanted to wait until he was done with his skating.**_  
 _ **Mari: Plus, we know how he can be at times. I wanted to wait until it was a good time to tell him.**_  
 _ **Mari: But it seems that it's never a good time with Yuri.**_  
 _ **Mari: Ever lol**_

Phichit showed Yuri his phone. Yuri wiped his eyes, rolled them, again and took a sip of tea. "I don't know why she's laughing. This is not a laughing matter."

"Do you want me to tell her that?" Yuri shrugged.

 _ **: Yuri said: "This isn't a laughing matter."**_  
 _ **Mari: I know, I know. And I'm wrong and I'm sorry.**_

Phichit passed Yuri his phone. Yuri shrugged and returned his attention to his tea. He peered into brown liquid and felt his vision blur. "Yuri? Yuri?" Phichit said. He had his hand on Yuri's shoulder and was gently shaking him. "You spaced out there." Yuri shrugged.

"How long was I like that?"

"For about a minute," Phichit said. "Maybe you should lay down. Try and sleep, you know?" Yuri shrugged again.

"I don't think I want to sleep," Yuri murmured. He looked at the ceiling and zoned out again. Phichit took the mug out of his hand and placed it on the coffee table.

"Mon lapinou, please go to bed," he pleaded. "You're worrying me." Phichit squatted in front of Yuri and placed his hands on his knees.

"I don't know if sleep will make this better." Yuri placed his hands over Phichit's. "What if I go to sleep and everything is worse tomorrow?" Phichit shrugged. "What difference does it make if I remain awake?"

"You need to have the energy to deal with it and you won't get that energy by staying awake." Phichit reached for his mug of tea and sipped. "So go to bed."

"Will you be here in the morning?" Yuri tentatively asked.

"Always," Phichit said. Yuri reached for his mug and took a sip of tea. "So will you go to bed?" Yuri nodded. "Thank you."

By the time Yuri decided that he wanted to go to bed, he was only halfway done with his cup of tea. He felt bad for not drinking all of it, but he just didn't have the stomach to finish it. Right then, all he wanted to do was sleep and forget today.

#

 **(Saturday, 5 December 2015 – 12:01am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Despite Yuri being drop-dead exhausted, he couldn't bring himself to sleep. Yuri was awake, staring at the ceiling while Phichit was calmly sleeping across from him. He envied how he could sleep without hearing disembodied voices and sounds constantly assailing him. Right now, he was entertaining the thought of laying out on the freeway. "I could do it," he thought. And the thought was tempting. He could walk to the freeway and lay down and wait for his end to come.

Yuri got out of bed and went into the living room. He didn't know what he was doing in there, but it was better than just laying down and looking at the ceiling. He laid prostrate on the sofa, his face awkwardly against the arm of the sofa. The voices were still pummeling him and Yuri wanted to escape them, but no matter where he'd go, they were going to be there.

Yuri rolled himself off of the sofa and got his phone off of the coffee table. He wanted to see Olivia right now despite Khoudia's insistence on never seeing her again.

 _ **: Where are you staying?**_  
 _ **Olivia: Hollow Isle Apartments.**_  
 _ **: What apartment?**_  
 _ **Olivia: 6D. Why?**_  
 _ **: I'm coming over.**_

Yuri left his phone on the arm of the sofa. He quietly made his way back into the bedroom and went in his drawer. He took out a turtleneck, a pair of jeans, and socks. Yuri would have to figure out where Hollow Isle is, but he knew that he would have to either walk or take a cab to Olivia's place. The buses in his area don't run after a certain time. Yuri went back into the living room. He sat down and put his socks on over the legs of his pajama pants. His phone buzzed.

 _ **Olivia: Why? It's late.**_  
 _ **: Can't I just see you?**_  
 _ **Olivia: I mean you CAN but after I hit on you, I figured that you wouldn't want to see me.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Plus, shouldn't late night visits be reserved for your boyfriend?**_  
 _ **: Look, I just want to see you tonight. Can't we just leave it at that?**_  
 _ **Olivia: Fine, fine. Hollow Isle Apartments. North Gate. Apartment 6D. Call me when you're in front of the building.**_  
 _ **: Okay.**_

Yuri put on his jeans and pulled off his t-shirt. He went back to the back to get his deodorant and brush his teeth. He also brushed out his hair while he was brushing his teeth. He wanted to look semi-presentable for Olivia despite this decision being last minute and not being well thought out. "Why do I even want to see Olivia of all people?" He asked himself. He knew that she was right; that he should be reserving late night visits for Victor. But he wanted to see her tonight. He wanted to see her and find some physical release.

Yuri put on deodorant and put on his turtleneck. He put on his scarf and then went to the living room closet to get his hoodie. Then he put on his Docs and coat. He grabbed his phone and left. He was going to see Olivia tonight.

It was a thirty-minute walk from Yuri's home to where Olivia was staying, but the time seemed to fly for Yuri.

"Hey," Yuri said. He was in front of the building. "I'm here."

"Oh, you actually came?" Olivia said. "Alright. I'll ring the bell for you. But I will warn you – the second door is kind of tough to open." Yuri nodded. Olivia ended the call and Yuri waited for her to ring the bell. She did as she said and Yuri quickly opened the doors. He approached the elevator and pressed the button for the sixth floor.

 _ **Olivia: Did you get in?**_  
 _ **: I'm in. I'm waiting for the elevator.**_

The elevator came and Yuri got on. It smelled like a box of Fruity Pebbles. Before Yuri knew it, he was at Olivia's front door. He knocked and waited with bated breath.

"Hey," Olivia said when she opened the door. Yuri threw his arms around her. "Nice to see you, too." Yuri sniffed her hair and it smelled like kiwis and limes. "Come in." Olivia grabbed his hand and led him inside.

"What were you doing when I texted you?"

"I was going to go to bed." Yuri nodded. He unzipped his coat and placed it on the back of a dining chair. Then he pulled off his Docs and put those under the chair. "Why did you decide to see me and not your boyfriend? Are you getting bored with him already?" Yuri shook his head and took off his scarf and put it in his sleeve.

"No," Yuri said with a wry smile. "I just wanted to see you."

"I want to explore that. And we can explore in my room. My cousin is letting me stay here while she's in Italy." Olivia grabbed Yuri's hand and walked him to her room. It wasn't decorated; instead, it was barren. The only thing that had character was the bed and that's only because the comforter was a coin grey color and the pillow cases were berry blue. She also had a pastel red macaron pillow. There was a desk and a chair. "Take a seat somewhere, anywhere." Yuri picked the desk chair. "Of course you'd pick there." Olivia sat at the foot of the bed and crossed her legs. She was in an oversized nightshirt that had lavender petals on it. "So, let's explore why you wanted to see me." There was a silence between the two of them. She smiled. "Aren't you going to tell me?"

"I'm trying to figure out a way to say it without sounding dumb or getting shot down."

"Why would I shoot you down?" Olivia asked. Then it clicked for her. She smirked. "You're a hoe." Yuri shrugged. "You are a hoe and you are trying to tempt a God-fearing woman." She was laughing now.

"I was afraid of this," Yuri said. "I'll just go." He moved to get up; Olivia grabbed his sleeve.

"I should have mentioned that this God-fearing woman is weak to temptation," Olivia said. Her voice was sultry. She was giving him goosebumps right now. Olivia pulled Yuri and the chair towards her. She tugged at his arm and beckoned him to sit on the bed. But first, she hugged him. Her arms were as soft as he remembered them.

"What are you doing?"

"You look like you needed a hug before I fuck the shit out of you." Yuri started to laugh. "By the time I'm done, you're going to need crutches to walk."

"Are you going to break my fucking legs?"

Olivia had a blank look on her face. Then she smiled. "You're so cute." She laughed again. "Take off your hoodie." Yuri struggled out of his hoodie and placed it on the back of his chair. "But seriously, you looked like you needed a hug." Olivia stroked Yuri's face. "And you look like you need more hugs. A lot more hugs." She took him into his arms again and ran her fingers through his hair. She partially pulled away and pulled his face towards her. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She huskily said. She was moving in to kiss him.

"No," Yuri whispered. Olivia pulled away. Yuri felt tears prick his nasolacrimal ducts and wiped his eyes. "I don't even know why I'm here anymore."

"Is this about your boyfriend again?" Yuri nodded. He held his wrists to his eyes. "He doesn't have to know about it. You know I can keep secrets."

" _He_ doesn't have to know, but _I'm_ going to know and _I'm_ going to have to live with this." Yuri sharply inhaled. "And I know that if this happens, I'm going to end up telling him and he honestly might break up with me because he's going to hate me." Yuri felt his nose start to run. "I can't do this and I'm sorry for even coming." Yuri felt the tears come in harder and his sleeves weren't doing a good job at holding his tears anymore. Olivia got up, went into a drawer, and gave Yuri a pack of tissues. "Thank you."

Olivia sat on the bed and crossed her legs. She sighed. "This isn't really _about_ your boyfriend and me, is it?" Yuri looked at her. "Come on, talk to me. What's going on?" Yuri blew his nose and tossed the tissue in the wastebasket. "Gross." Yuri looked at her again. "Tell me what's going on."

Yuri took a deep breath and tried to find his center. He found it but didn't know where to start. He felt his breath hitch and he coughed. Olivia patted his back.

"Are you going to tell me?" Yuri shrugged. A silence fell in the room. "Do you want to smoke with me? I saw my guy recently. He was happy to see me. And sell me some new strain."

"New?"

"Well not _new_ , but something I haven't had before. It's called Laughing Buddha." Yuri nodded. Olivia got the box from under her bed. "I rolled some blunts earlier. You could go ahead and get it started."

"Is this going to make me hallucinate?"

"It…shouldn't?" She said, wondering herself. "That's a really specific question. Will you let me know if it does?" Yuri nodded. Olivia stretched and sat back on her bed. Yuri reached into her box and took out a blunt and a lighter. It looks like the same one he gave her. He reached for his phone and started to play Channel Orange. Yuri lit the blunt, took two hits, and passed it to Olivia.

"Did I give you this lighter?"

"You did," said she. "I don't use it often. I'm trying to hold on to it for as long as I can." Yuri nodded. Olivia took two hits and passed it back. "My guy said that it's supposed to make you feel good."

"'Good' how?" She shrugged. "You mean to tell me that you got me smoking some shit that you don't know about?"

"I told you it's called Laughing Buddha and it's supposed to make you feel good. What more do you want from me?" Yuri took two hits and passed it back. "You can look it up if you want." Yuri reached for his phone and quickly searched for "Laughing Buddha" on Leafly. He quickly scrolled through it. It shouldn't make his hallucinations worse and it might alleviate what he's feeling. "So?" She said.

"Mentally, I should be fine," Yuri said. "But Phichit might murder me when he finds out that I've smoked."

"No, he won't," Olivia said. "You're over exaggerating." She took two hits and Yuri took the blunt. He took a hit and held it. "So, now that we're high, let's talk about you."

"It hasn't hit me yet. Give me a few minutes." He took another hit. "Do you still want the blunt?" Olivia nodded. They were only halfway done with the blunt and Olivia was blazed. Yuri laughed. She's such a lightweight. Olivia took two hits and held it. She started to play with Yuri's hair. She passed the blunt back to Yuri and he took two hits.

"Ready to talk?" Yuri shrugged and passed it back.

"I just needed to get out of the house. I needed to look at someone."

"Don't you stay with Phichit?" Yuri nodded. "You could just look at him." Olivia took two hits and passed the blunt.

"I couldn't look at him. I couldn't disturb his sleep with me being a piss baby," Yuri said. He took two hits. "All I knew was that I couldn't be in that apartment." Yuri looked down at his fingers and the blunt. "If you didn't answer, I was probably going to either go to the park and lay in the grass or lay on the freeway." Yuri took a deep, deep breath to try and fight back the tears. "I just don't want to be anywhere anymore." Tears started to roll down Yuri's face again. Olivia gave him the packet of tissues again and took the blunt.

"What happened? What triggered this?"

"You remember Vicchan, right?" She unhurriedly nodded. "Well, recently my sister told me…" Yuri took a deep breath. He patted himself for his phone; it was still in his coat. "Let me get my phone." Yuri pulled away from Olivia again and went to the living room for his phone. He unlocked his phone and prepared Mari's texts for Olivia's viewing pleasure. When Yuri came back in the room, Olivia was on her phone. She looked at the texts from last night and the day before. She was clutching Yuri's hand as she read.

"I'm so sorry you had to find out like this," Olivia said. She gave him another hug. "If you need me, I'm here for you."

"Thank you," Yuri said. He locked his phone and put it on the desk. "And ever since Mari told me, I've just been falling apart." Olivia nodded. "It's not even about Vicchan anymore. I just want to die right now." Olivia squeezed Yuri's hand again. "And I needed to see someone – anyone, really – to get my mind off of everything."

"If you could've seen Khoudia, would you have gone to her?" Yuri shrugged. "Well, regardless, I'm glad you picked me. I'll do my best to ensure that you're okay." Yuri nodded. Olivia gave back the blunt. He took two hits and passed it back. "Does your, uh, 'boyfriend' know about Vicchan?" She took two more hits and passed it back.

"I haven't talked to him since yesterday," Yuri said. Then he took two hits.

"And why's that?"

"We were supposed to go to the museum yesterday and I kind of bailed on him. I wouldn't speak to him either. He might hate me now." Yuri took two more hits and passed the blunt back. "If he hates me now, I wouldn't blame him."

"I'm sure he doesn't hate you," Olivia said between hits. She coughed and passed it. Yuri shrugged and hit. "It's hard to hate someone as lovable as you."

"I thought you said I was unlovable," Yuri said as he passed it.

Olivia took hits and held it. "No," she started, "I said that Jason made you _feel_ like you were unlovable. Big difference."

"Doesn't feel like there's much of a difference," Yuri said. He took the blunt and hit it. They were starting to get down to the bottom of it. "I'm afraid that my boyfriend is going to find out what Jason already knew, too."

"He can't," Olivia said. Yuri passed the blunt back. "You're you." Yuri shrugged. "Don't shrug. He's not Jason." Olivia held it. "He isn't, right?"

"I think I would have long since died if he was Jason," Yuri said. He laid back and closed his eyes. Olivia laid down next to him. She dragged the mouthpiece of the blunt against his lips. "What are you doing? I already hit."

"Did you?" She asked. Yuri nodded. Olivia started laughing. Then Yuri started to laugh.

"Why are you making me laugh?" He said between brief fits.

"I'm not!" She lightly jabbed Yuri. "I took my hit. Your turn. We're almost there." Olivia ran her hand through Yuri's hair and put the blunt between his lips. He took a hit and held it out for Olivia. She took it from him and held it. She took a drag and put her head on his chest. "What do you want to do after?"

"I don't know," Yuri said.

"What do you know?" Olivia asked, chuckling.

"I know that I know nothing," he said. He put his fingers in Olivia's kiwi and lime scented hair. "I also know that your hair smells nice." He brought a section of her hair to his face and let it rest over his nose.

"Are you going to start eating my hair?" Olivia said with a laugh.

"No, it just smells nice. I like it." Yuri sharply inhaled. He started to wonder about how Victor's hair smells. He realized that he's never actually sniffed his hair. He's played in it after their play, but he hasn't actually smelled it. He made a mental note to smell his hair eventually.

"Does your boyfriend's hair smell nice?"

"I don't know," Yuri simply said. He started to massage Olivia's scalp. "I'm guessing it smells good. He usually smells good." Yuri inhaled again. "But I've missed smelling your hair. Did you keep using the same shampoo in France?" Olivia nodded. "I hope your fiancé smelled your hair a lot."

"They got whiffs of it, but they didn't do it like you," she said. "They couldn't do a lot of things like you." She placed finished the blunt and put her hand on Yuri's pectoralis major. She picked and pulled at his turtleneck.

"You know I can't do this," Yuri said. "I have a boyfriend."

"Whom I've never seen," she said. "What does he even look like? What's his name? These are things that I want to know."

"Well, he's tall and white."

"What is it with you and white guys?" Yuri shrugged. "Continue."

"He has these pretty eyes. He had long hair, but he cut it recently. Um…" Yuri trailed off and started to follow an imaginary line on the ceiling. "His mouth kind of looks like a heart when he smiles. It's cute. He's unnecessarily cute." Olivia giggled. "He loves to cuddle, too," Yuri said. "He's soft and sweet and sensitive."

"Would you say that his sensitivity matches yours?"

"In a different way, yes," Yuri said. "The sensitive artist meets the sensitive writer and the two have an undeniable chemistry. Chemistry?" He questioned himself. "Yeah, chemistry. That's the normal word for it. They have an undeniable chemistry and after what feels like forever they go on a date and that was the official start of their relationship."

"So that's what happened?" Yuri nodded. "It needs more pizzazz, but that's just me."

"What do you mean 'pizzazz'?"

"I don't know. It needs more… I don't know." Olivia yawned. "Let me move my box." She forced herself up and placed her box back under the bed. She flopped on the bed and made it so that she was eye to eye with Yuri. Yuri opened his eyes and looked at Olivia. She started to giggle again. She lightly touched his nose. "Your face is dumb," she said.

"So is yours," Yuri retorted. He started to laugh.

"But your face is dumb _er_." Yuri rolled his eyes. Olivia moved to scratch her chest. "I think I might go to sleep."

"I might, too," Yuri said. "You don't mind if I sleep with you, do you?" Olivia smiled and shook her head. "Wait, is that a 'yes' or 'no'?"

"That was a 'no' as in 'no, I don't mind.'" Yuri nodded. She pulled the covers back and got under them. "Do you want to take your jeans off?" Yuri nodded. He forced himself out of bed and undid the button and zipper of his jeans. He pulled them down, exposing his pastel pink pajama pants and black, geometric socks. He pulled off his socks and put them on the desk, next to his phone. He got in bed next to Olivia and looked at the ceiling. If he could reach it, he would touch the line that started above his head. Yuri looked over at Olivia; she seemed to be fast asleep. Yuri decided that it was in his best interests to sleep, too.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I hope this coming year is kind to you.


	67. Chapter 67

Ryuugazaki: Better late than never.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Seven

 **(Saturday, 5 December 2015 – 10:30am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Olivia and Yuri were at a café near Wayne. She didn't feel like cooking this morning. Yuri's mouth was dry and all he wanted was to have something to drink. He picked a chamomile tea; Olivia opted for a peppermint mocha latte. They sat by the window. Yuri took the lid off of his tea to cool it. Olivia blew into the mouthpiece. Yuri yawned.

"So how do you feel?" Olivia asked.

"About what?" Yuri kept his eyes fixated on his tea.

"Vicchan." Yuri shrugged. "Do you think you feel any better?" Yuri shrugged again. "Are you mad at your sister?" Yuri shrugged. "Come on, you've _got_ to know something." Yuri shrugged. "You're hopeless."

"I guess," Yuri said. He blew on his tea. Yuri checked his phone. Nothing from Phichit, Mari, or Victor. Yuri _did_ , however, have a text from Khoudia. She was asking if Yuri was okay. Yuri didn't open her text because he had no clue what to say to her. Olivia reached for Yuri's hand and held it. Her fingers were cold. "What are you doing?"

"Everything's going to be alright," Olivia said. She brought Yuri's hand to her mouth and kissed his knuckles. "You just need to give it some time."

"Give me your guy's number," Yuri said. "I might need to see him." Olivia nodded and took out her phone. "What's his name?"

"He tells me to call him Monté," Olivia said as she found his contact info. "Is his name actually Monté though? Non lo so." She passed Yuri her phone. Yuri took down Monté's number. "I should text him to let him know that I gave you his number."

"Please do that." Yuri saved Monté's contact information and put his phone away.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Olivia asked.

"Do whatever." Olivia rolled her eyes and started to laugh. "What's so funny?" She didn't know what was funny; she just knew that she was laughing. Yuri put the lid on his tea and took a sip. It was cooler now. Yuri took a sip and cleared his throat. His mouth was getting progressively less dry. Olivia took a sip of her peppermint mocha latte. "Is it a good idea to drink a latte with a dry mouth?" She shrugged and took another sip. She made a face. "Did you burn your tongue?" She nodded.

"It's so good, though. I think I can live with a burned tongue." She took another sip and smiled. "I'm glad you decided to come over last night." Yuri smiled and took a sip of tea. "I was worried that you didn't want to see me again after our dinner. I don't think I could bear it if you never wanted to see me again." Olivia took a sip of her latte and burned her tongue again. "Could you?"

"Well, we had already endured years of not seeing each other. Surely we could go longer."

"But I don't want to go longer. I have you back in my life and I don't want you out of it." Yuri remained silent. Olivia laced fingers with Yuri and let her thumb stroke his. Yuri took another sip of tea. "I have a question, though," she said.

"What is it?"

"Does Phichit know you're with me?"

"He was asleep when I left." Olivia deadpanned. "What?"

"Let's go," Olivia said. She took a sip of her latte and burned her tongue again. Olivia got up from their window seat and held out her hand for Yuri. "You have to get home before Phichit starts to worry about you."

"He hasn't texted me at all. He probably thinks I'm fine."

"I don't care. You need to get home." Yuri got out of his seat and grabbed his tea. He ignored Olivia's outstretched hand. Once she got the hint, they walked out of the café.

Olivia had Yuri guide her to the apartment. She pecked him on the cheek and waited until he was inside to leave. Yuri checked the mail; there was nothing in the box. He slowly walked up the stairs and went to his front door. He unlocked the door and Phichit and Khoudia jumped him as soon as he got inside.

"Where were you?!" Phichit yelled. Adé and Masabeeh were on the sofas, on their phones. They dropped them when Yuri stepped through the door. Phichit wiped his eyes on Yuri's coat. "You weren't home and I got worried!" Adé and Masabeeh all got up and threw their arms around them. Tal'at must be in class right now; otherwise, she probably would have been with Masabeeh and Adé, too. Khoudia pulled away and wiped her eyes. Adé pulled away, too, and moved to comfort Khoudia. He took his mother into his arms and wiped her tears away.

"Why are all of you here at 11am?" Yuri asked. He pried Phichit off of him to take off his coat. "I was just gone."

"Yeah, you were gone!" Phichit yelled. "I had no clue where you were. I was afraid." Phichit latched back on to Yuri. He let Yuri's hoodie absorb his tears. "I didn't know if you had…" Phichit's already fragile voice wavered. "Don't ever leave me!" He cried. Yuri squeezed Phichit tight and kissed his forehead. He led Phichit to the sofa and sat him down. Yuri threw his arms around Phichit and held him tight. Masabeeh returned to her phone as it was buzzing. Adé and Khoudia sat down. Khoudia was holding on to Adé's hand for life. Masabeeh unlocked her phone and snapped a flick of Adé, Khoudia, Phichit, and Yuri. That was for Tal'at, presumably.

A silence filled the room. Phichit's gentle sobs came to an end and he wiped his puffy eyes.

"Should I make you some tea?" Yuri asked. He stroked Phichit's face and kissed his forehead again. Phichit nodded. Yuri pulled away from Phichit to make him a cup of tea. While he was boiling the water, he decided to make Khoudia a cup, too. Yuri would have to apologize for worrying her, too.

When Yuri was pouring the water in the cups, Adé came into the kitchen. They leaped onto the counter and watched Yuri work. "Dad," Adé said.

"Yes, Adé?"

"I'm glad you're home," he said. He rested his head on the cabinet. Yuri smiled.

"Do you remember if your mother takes lemon or honey in her tea?" Adé made a face and shrugged. "Go ask her. Also, ask Masabeeh if she wants tea, too."

"Dad, you might as well make all of us a cup."

"Do _you_ want a cup?" Yuri asked. Adé shook his head. "Alright then. Now go and ask." Adé jumped off the counter and went back into the living room. Yuri put the teabags into the mugs and got out the lemon juice and honey for Khoudia. Adé came back. "So?"

"Masabeeh wants her tea with two spoons of sugar. Mama wants honey in her tea. Phichit said do whatever with his tea." Yuri nodded. Adé jumped back onto the counter and cracked his knuckles. Yuri put sugar in one cup and poured the water in. "Do you need me to stir?" Yuri nodded. He gave Adé the spoon and he stirred. Yuri poured the water into Khoudia's cup and squirted a teaspoon of honey in hers. Adé took the spoon out of Masabeeh's cup and licked it clean. He placed it on the counter and brought Masabeeh her tea. Adé came back and started to stir Khoudia's cup. He took a sip of tea.

"Adé, I thought you didn't want tea."

"I don't. I'm just making sure that it isn't too sweet for Mom."

"Is it?"

"Sweet? No, it's good enough for her, I think," Adé said. He went back into the living room and gave Khoudia her cup. He came back and leaned on the counter. Yuri poured the water into Phichit's cup and gave it to Adé. Adé returned to the living room and gave it to Phichit. Yuri poured the remaining water out in the sink and left the pot on the eye. He came back into the living room and sat next to Phichit. Phichit leaned on him and looked at his cup of tea. Adé had his arm around Khoudia. Masabeeh was just drinking her tea.

"So is no one going to ask where Yuri was and why he got all of us worried?" Masabeeh said. Yuri looked over at Masabeeh. "Tal'at told me to say that and I echo it. Why did you worry us like that?"

"I didn't expect any of you to get worried," Yuri said. He took a sip of his tea. Phichit closed his eyes. "And I sure as hell didn't expect you to come over to do… what exactly?"

"Phichit was crying to me because he didn't know where you were. I came over and called Adé because Phichit was too busy crying. Adé called Masabeeh and Tal'at to check in. Tal'at would've come but she had class so only Masabeeh came. And we all came together to try to calm Phichit down. Adé was sure that you were fine and that you could handle yourself, but Phichit was still worried," Khoudia said. "I would've called Victor to ask if you were with him, but we don't have his number." Khoudia took a sip of tea. Her phone started to ring. "And now my parents are calling me because I lied to get out of the house. If I get in trouble, you're going to get it." She looked at her phone. "You done fucked up, Aaron." Khoudia broke free of Adé and put down her mug. She stepped into the kitchen to talk to her parents. Phichit put down his mug and hugged Yuri.

"I'm so glad Khoudia came over," Phichit mumbled.

"So where were you?" Masabeeh asked. She put down her tea and looked over at Yuri.

"I went for a walk."

"What time?" Masabeeh asked.

"Twelve."

"And this walk lasted eleven hours?" Masabeeh asked. She crossed her legs and folded her hands.

"You damn right it did," Yuri said. Masabeeh rolled her eyes.

"If I wasn't Muslim, I'd toss my tea in your face, but I can't and I won't because this is very nice tea." Masabeeh took a sip. "Thank you for the tea, Yuri." Phichit sat up and took a sip of his tea. Yuri kissed his cheek.

"You didn't really go for a walk, did you?" Khoudia asked. She was eyeing Yuri suspiciously. "So where were you?" She took a sip of her tea.

"Went to someone's house." Khoudia crossed her legs and looked at Yuri. Phichit was even eyeing Yuri. Yuri took a sip of his tea. Adé was looking at his phone, ignoring everything.

"Whose house?" Khoudia asked. Yuri looked at Khoudia. She made a face. "You went to see Olivia, didn't you?" Yuri looked Khoudia square in the throat. "Didn't you?" She repeated. Yuri remained silent. "Why did you go to her? We're here."

"All of you were asleep and I needed to see something."

"Ma poupee, aren't I enough?" Phichit asked. "I'm here for you. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I don't like bothering you when you're asleep," Yuri said. He stroked Phichit's face.

"Don't you know how worried I was?!" Phichit yelled. Yuri remained silent. "I always worry about you and you didn't even have the decency to wake me up or leave a note." Phichit got up and left the room. Yuri sighed and looked at his hands.

"Tal'at and I were awake," Masabeeh said. "I'm RA. I would've snuck you in." Masabeeh got up and went to get Phichit.

"I told you not to see her again. She is a plague upon us and she needs to go away."

"You _do_ know that I'm an adult, right?" Yuri said. Khoudia sucked her teeth. "Why do I have to be an adult under someone else's gaze?" Yuri sipped his tea. Adé put down his phone and started to observe.

"I'm leaving," Khoudia said. She got up, put on her coat, and slammed the door. Adé sat there like a bump on a log.

"Adé, please go calm down your mother," Yuri murmured. Adé nodded, grabbed his coat, and went after Khoudia. Yuri looked around the living room. He was all alone now. He's managed to anger Khoudia, upset Phichit and Masabeeh, and alienate himself from Victor all in about twenty-four hours. Yuri sighed and got up. He walked over to his coat and put it on. He couldn't deal with this right now. He grabbed his nearly dead phone and keys and left. He was going to go to the park and lay in the freezing grass.

"Where are you going now, Dad?" Adé asked. He had broken away from Khoudia to ask. They were still relatively close to the apartment.

"Out."

"There you go, off with her again," Khoudia mumbled. Yuri ignored her comment and kept walking. Adé didn't try to stop Yuri. He sighed and returned his attention to Khoudia.

Before Yuri knew it, he was out on the street. He didn't know which park he was going to, but he knew that he just didn't want to be home. Again.

#

 **(Saturday, 5 December 2015 – 1:23pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri picked a secluded spot in the park to lay. It was the perfect place to get murdered. Yuri wouldn't mind getting murdered right about now. The sky was the palest of blues and the sun was blinding, but Yuri stayed in his freezing spot. There weren't any clouds in the sky today, but then Yuri remembered that it might rain today.

But he didn't care. He was okay with letting it rain on him.

Yuri took out his phone. It was on 10% and he had a text from Victor.

 _ **Victor: So, will you tell me what the hell Friday was all about?**_

Yuri put his dying phone away and continued to look up at the sky.

#

 **(Saturday, 5 December 2015 – 6:59pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

When Yuri came home again, Phichit was on the sofa, nursing – presumably – a fresh cup of tea. The other mugs were gone and there was no trace of anything that would indicate that Khoudia, Masabeeh, and Adé were there earlier. There was brief, awkward eye contact followed by Yuri leaving the room.

"You can't keep avoiding everything, Yuri," Phichit said. That halted Yuri.

"Who said I was avoiding?"

"It doesn't need to be said. You are. Go take your clothes off and take a shower." Yuri returned to the living room and put his coat and shoes away. "Thank you." Yuri nodded in acknowledgment and went into the room. He pulled off his jeans and hoodie and set about getting his underwear and pajamas ready. He plugged up his phone and rubbed his eyes.

While Yuri was in his shower, he thought about what Phichit would possibly have to say to him. The shower was hot and long and Yuri wished that he could stay in the shower without pruning. It was comforting to be somewhere warm and feel protected. Yuri begrudgingly got out of the shower and dried off. He put on his clothes and went into the bedroom. Yuri had no idea what he was even going to do in here, but Phichit had a point. He couldn't keep avoiding everything. First, he was going to start with Khoudia. He was going to spend most of next week with her and it was in everyone's best interest if he talked to her now to clear the air.

 _ **: Are you mad at me?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Very.**_  
 _ **: I'm sorry.**_

The dots came and went and Yuri didn't have the patience to see what she was going to say. He went to Masabeeh's messages.

 _ **: I'm sorry for worrying you, Masabeeh.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Apology accepted.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Tal'at also accepts your apology.**_  
 _ **: Thank you.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: But she also wants to have a chat with you when you get the time.**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: And I'd like to have a chat with you, too.**_  
 _ **: Oh dear.**_

Yuri went back to Victor's messages. He took a deep breath and reread it. He scrapped what he had previously wanted to say and decided to start fresh.

 _ **: Sorry.**_  
 _ **Victor: Oh you're alive**_  
 _ **: I am, sadly.**_  
 _ **Victor: Where have you been? I've missed you.**_  
 _ **: Went to see someone. That took a while. Then I went to the park. Phone died. Came home. Here I am.**_

Yuri went in his bag and took out his journal. He could probably pull off trying to write and talk to Victor and maybe Phichit if he decides to come in the room.

 _ **Victor: What happened on Friday that made you unable to come with me to the museum?**_  
 _ **: I got some news and I needed to be alone for a bit.**_  
 _ **: I want to make up the museum to you, thou.**_  
 _ **Victor: Can I call you?**_  
 _ **: Sureee**_

Yuri waited for his phone to ring. It was on 16% now. When Yuri got to "Olivia," his phone rang. He picked up. "Hello?" Yuri murmured.

"I've missed you," Victor said. "Why does your voice sound weird?"

"It's a long story," Yuri said.

"I have time." Yuri closed his journal. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall by his bed. "Will you tell me?" Yuri shook his head. "Are you there?"

"I'm here," he murmured. "I'm just not sure how to tell you about what I've done." Yuri yawned. "But yeah, I want to make up Friday to you. I don't know when or where, but I want to make it up to you. Do you want to go to a museum in Marseilles?"

"I just want to see you."

"We still have art history work to do, though."

"I'll figure something out," Victor said. There was a silence. "Who did you go see? Did you have a nice time?"

"It was very confusing and taxing time seeing them," Yuri said. "I don't think I'll be seeing them again. They're not exactly the most well-received person." Yuri yawned.

"And why is that?" He asked. There was another silence. Yuri didn't know what to tell Victor about why Olivia isn't well-received. Phichit came into the room and leaned on the doorpost.

"I don't know," Yuri said. "My phone is dying. I'll text you."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you, too," Yuri said. He ended the call and plugged his phone back up. Yuri looked at Phichit. He came and sat on Yuri's bed. Phichit leaned on Yuri and closed his eyes.

"I'm glad you're home," Phichit murmured. He wrapped his arms around Yuri's waist. Yuri felt his sleeve get moist; he's crying again. Yuri took Phichit into his arms and stroked his back. "Don't do this to me ever again."

"I endeavor not to," Yuri murmured in his ear. Phichit squeezed him and continued to cry. Yuri let Phichit cry on him until there were no more tears. Then he pulled away and wiped his eyes. "Are you okay now?" Phichit nodded. Yuri kissed his forehead and ruffled his hair.

"Why don't you think like a normal person?" He asked.

"I don't know," Yuri said. He looked at his phone; he had a text from Khoudia. Phichit looked at the screen.

"Ignore her. Talk to me," Phichit earnestly said. Yuri was confused. "And when I say 'talk to me,' I mean ' _talk_ to me.' Actually tell me what's going on." Yuri shrugged. "I don't want anything like this to happen again. Talk to me. Please." Phichit was begging now. Yuri cupped Phichit's face and kissed his forehead.

"Would that make you feel better?" He nodded. So they talked. Yuri talked to Phichit until he was satisfied. While they talked, Phichit suggested that they go on a "date" to "rekindle their relationship." He felt that if they just spoke to each other more candidly and connected more, then maybe Yuri wouldn't feel the need to go to someone else. Yuri thought that his idea was ridiculous, but he wanted to placate Phichit so he agreed to go on this date. He didn't know what would happen on it, but he knew that he had to go. It was for Phichit so he would go.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I hope y'all are well rested for the next semester!


	68. Chapter 68

Ryuugazaki: I'm sorry y'all ain't get an update for the past few weeks. I've been busy and/or not sober.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Eight  
 **(Monday, 7 December 2015 – 2:20pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Since his disastrous chats with Khoudia, Masabeeh, and Tal'at, Yuri hasn't been sleeping. The voices, shadows, closet monsters, and guilt won't allow him to sleep. He hasn't had a truly restful sleep since his last date and that was because he wasn't even sober. He didn't even get a restful night's sleep with Olivia because he was afraid. And now it's worse too because he was seriously entertaining seeing her again. When he was trying to fall asleep in her bed, he said that this was going to be the last time that he would go over to her house with the intent to bury himself inside of her and, instead, get high. He decided that it was best for him to actually shoot her like a foot with gangrene.

"Hey," Victor's disembodied voice whispered in his ear. Yuri looked to his left. He was standing there.

"You startled me." Victor chuckled lightly and sat next to Yuri.

"You look like death," Victor pointed out.

"Thanks," Yuri said. He closed his eyes and leaned back on the arm of the chair. Victor reached over and stroked Yuri's face. Yuri made a face.

"What?"

"It's nothing." Yuri opened his eyes and looked at Victor's nose. "Come here, though," he said. Yuri sat up; Victor slightly leaned in. "Move closer." Victor moved closer. "A bit closer."

"Yuri, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying to see something." Yuri grabbed Victor's head and pulled it towards his nose. He sniffed his hair. It smelled like cedarwood. Yuri let go of Victor's head and sat him up. "I saw what I wanted."

"And?" Yuri nodded. "What does that mean?"

"Don't worry about it." Yuri smiled and rubbed his eyes. Victor looked like he was trying to figure something out. Were his eyes red? Surely that was because he hasn't been sleeping and not because he recently smoked. Did he look weird? He was sure he picked out cleaned and ironed clothes this morning. Did he smell? He was sure that it couldn't have been that; he showered, washed his face, and brushed his teeth this morning. Yuri ran through all of the things that it could've been, but decided that it wasn't that. It was something, but it was nothing Yuri could think of.

"We should do something Christmassy," Victor said. Yuri nodded. "Any ideas?"

"We can do something Christmas Eve." Victor nodded and waited for Yuri to elaborate. There was a look exchanged between the two. "What?"

"Do _what_ on Christmas Eve?" Victor asked.

"Oh!" Yuri brought his knuckle to his mouth in emulation of Olivia. Yuri shuddered. "I don't know."

"Let's go ice skating!" Victor beamed. Yuri looked at him. "I mean, we don't _have_ to go ice skating, but it'd be nice to skate together… Just skating."

"That is a hard –" Yuri paused. He didn't want to shoot him down hard and fast. Skating with Victor might be a lot of fun. "Maybe." Victor smiled.

"Maybe we can have dinner, too." Yuri nodded. "It'll be great. Believe me." Victor brought Yuri's hands to his mouth. "So we're going to go skating on Christmas Eve," he said. "Should we go on the Western Christmas Eve or the Russian Christmas Eve?" Yuri shrugged. "I'm thinking Western." Victor moved closer to Yuri. "What else should we do?"

"On Christmas Eve?"

"After the Grand Prix," Victor said. Yuri shrugged. "We should do something." Yuri shrugged. "You seem disinterested."

"Trust me, I'm not," Yuri said, contrite. "I'm just exhausted." Yuri looked at his toe caps of his Docs. They need to be shined. He kept looking at his toe caps until Victor tilted his chin up. Victor's thumb stroked his bottom lip.

"What class do you have next?" Victor asked.

"English," Yuri murmured. He grabbed Victor's hand. "I should get going."

"Does your class even start right now?" Yuri shook his head. "Then why are you trying to get away from me so soon?" Yuri shrugged. "Are you trying to sleep?" Yuri shrugged again. "You're not being very helpful. If you want to sleep, sleep on me." Yuri looked up at Victor's face. He leaned in and placed his head on him. He doubted that he would be able to get sleep right now, but surely it would just be nice lean on him. Just for right now. Yuri closed his eyes and snuggled up to his bonheur. "What time does your class start?"

"3:30."

"I'll walk you," Victor asserted.

"Is it 3:30 already?"

"No."

"Then why did you tell me?" Yuri asked. He inhaled.

"Because I can," Victor said. "Don't you want me to walk you to class? Don't you like it?" Yuri remained silent. "Okay, how about this? Why are you bad at words?" Yuri shrugged. "Come on, this is something you _have_ to know." Yuri shrugged again. Victor sighed.

"I guess I'm just naturally bad at expressing myself. My sister's tried to help me become more expressive – "use more words" – but I was kind of bad at that, too." Yuri bit his lip. "Which is a shame because Mari tried really hard with me. She never wanted to give up."

"Couldn't your parents help you 'use more words'?"

"They didn't understand how to, though. They tried in their own way, though. I have to give them that." Yuri pulled away and rubbed his eyes. "They tried. I can't complain. I just wish they would've tried in a different way."

"How did your sister try?"

"Art. We would look at art together and have me explain what I saw and how it made me feel. The feeling part was always an abstract concept, but she took her time with explaining things and such. She was extremely patient. Like you."

"Like me?" Yuri nodded.

"You took your time with me – and you didn't have to, you know. I still don't get why, though. With Mari it's understandable. With you it's still confusing. You don't have anything to gain by being so patient with me. At least my sister did."

"But I do have something to gain," Victor said. Yuri squinted. "Haven't you figured it out?"

" _No_ because I don't grasp the motives of others. I barely grasp my own ulterior motives at times." Yuri looked at his fingers. "Do you know what it's like to be doing something and not quite grasping _why_ you're doing it?"

"I can imagine that's rough," Victor said.

"Another thing: Imagining."

"Can't do that?" Yuri shook his head. "Are you autistic?" The question caught Yuri off-guard. Yuri looked at Victor and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry if I offended you. You don't have to tell me."

"No, no, I will," Yuri said. "I am." Victor nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something. "If you ask me 'for how long,' I am going to leave right now and never look back."

"I wasn't going to ask that!" Yuri exhaled. Good. "I was going to say that this provides a new context to everything. So your rocking thing?"

"A stim."

"And that thing you did in my living room?" Yuri deadpanned. "It was like 2am and you were wearing my boxers." Yuri blinked. "I saw you."

"That was _also_ a stim," Yuri hesitantly said. "But why were you awake at 2am?"

"Why were you?" Victor questioned. Yuri looked at Victor and started to pack up his things. Yuri started to get up and Victor grabbed his arm. "Wait, don't go!" Victor cajoled. He pulled Yuri down and into his lap. He kissed his neck and left his head there. Yuri took out his phone. It's 2:50pm. "What do you do in English?"

"English stuff." Victor rolled his eyes.

"Like what?"

"Read essays. Discuss themes. Write essays." Yuri looked up at the ceiling. He never noticed that it was tiled before today. "I don't talk much in English."

"You should. It's part of your grade."

"I can't. Talking in class isn't the ninja way." Victor made a face. "You need to watch more anime."

"I plan on doing that with you." Yuri slid out of Victor's lap. "We can do that after the Grand Prix: watch anime." Yuri nodded.

"Do you have a class or am I remembering this wrong?"

"No, I have a class," Victor said. "I'm still going to walk you to your class, though."

"That really isn't necessary."

"I know," he said. "But I want to. Let me have this." Yuri shrugged. He checked his phone; it's 2:55pm. He was practically counting the minutes until he gets away from Victor. It's not even that he doesn't want to be around him; he just cannot physically bear to be around his own boyfriend. Victor's essence was making him sick and he felt ashamed: ashamed that he had the intent to hoe out recently, ashamed that he couldn't bring himself to tell Victor about this, and ashamed that Victor's presence was making him feel sick.

"I should get to class early," Yuri said, trying to get away from Victor.

"Do you usually get to class early?"

"Sometimes," Yuri said.

"What do you do when you get there early?"

"Draw."

"And can't you draw here?" Victor asked. "Being with me hasn't stopped you before."

"I _know_ , but –" Yuri cut himself off. "What I'm drawing is a surprise. And you can't see it or else it ceases to be a surprise." That made Victor grin.

"I can't wait to see this surprise." While Victor was gushing about this multi-faceted surprise, Yuri was kicking himself. He hadn't intended on drawing anything for Victor. "Did you already start drawing the surprise?" Yuri shook his head. "Can I make a request?"

"I suppose you could."

"Draw you."

"But I've already drawn myself for you."

"No, draw yourself how you see yourself." Yuri made a face. Does Victor really want to see that? "Can you do that?"

"I can try, but it probably won't be very good."

"False. You're making it so it's going to be good." Yuri rolled his eyes. "I believe in you." Yuri got up again. "Are you ready to go?" Yuri nodded. Victor gathered his things and followed Yuri out of the library. "Stop walking like you're trying to get away from me."

"But I am," Yuri thought.

They reached the elevator and Victor grabbed Yuri's freezing hand. Yuri sharply inhaled. "What?" Victor asked.

"Nothing," Yuri said. Victor moved closer to Yuri. Yuri fought within himself to not pull away from his bonheur.

"It's something," Victor said. "You're acting weird."

"I am always weird. Try again." Victor rolled his eyes.

"Well, _yes_ you're usually weird – and I love that – but you're being weirder," Victor said. Yuri shrugged. "I'm going to find out what it is."

"And I wish you luck in your endeavor." Victor rolled his eyes again. He was doing a lot of eye rolling today. Yuri looked over at him. He wanted to kiss his frustration away, but decided that it was in his best interests to not touch him too much. He'd start feeling guilty again.

"You're cruel."

"Am I now?" Yuri said.

"Yes," Victor said. The elevator came. Yuri stepped on and pulled Victor towards him. Victor stepped on the elevator and moved closer to Yuri. He was a proud and constant invader of Yuri's personal bubble. "You give me something and it feels like we're progressing, but then it feels like somehow we take steps backwards." Yuri pushed the button for the floor and remained silent. "Don't you have anything to say?"

"I recognize and acknowledge your concerns about our relationship," Yuri said. The elevator door seemed to take its sweet time closing.

"Is that all?" Yuri bit his lip.

"I think so, yes." Victor deadpanned. "I'm sorry." Victor remained silent. "You can go now if you want."

"Are you honestly trying to get rid of me?" Victor asked. Now Yuri felt an emptiness in his stomach. What does he even say to that? "Answer me."

"No," Yuri said.

"Yes you are." Yuri looked up at Victor and looked away. He let go of his hand and put them in his pockets. There was the guilt. It had unfurled itself from wherever it was and it was threatening to consume Yuri. He'd have to live through it all throughout English _and_ work on Victor's "surprise." If he was still going to keep up that story. The elevator door finally closed and took them to where Yuri needed to be. Victor, despite his angst and frustration, walked Yuri to the door.

"Make sure you get to class," Yuri told Victor.

"I will," Victor said. He didn't give him a parting kiss or a hug and it felt all _wrong_. Yuri tentatively took his usual seat and closed his tired eyes to reflect. Where did it go wrong? Did it go wrong when Yuri started to try to shake Victor off of him or did it go wrong when he let go of his hand? Either way, Yuri got what he wanted (and wanted what he got), but it felt wrong. Yuri realized that he'd have to work harder to get back in Victor's good graces now, but right now maybe he could just focus on discussing this stupid English essay.

#

 **(Monday, 7 December 2015 – 8:36pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was looking over his packing; he wasn't in the mood to eat or do anything other than pace, smoke, and listen to the voices. He couldn't pace because Phichit would catch on and start asking questions; he couldn't smoke because he had an agreement with Phichit. So he listened to the voices talk and comment and talk and comment. He still heard his grandfather's voice and he was being rather unkind. The most feminine of the voices issued commands. So far, she was saying to keep looking through his clothes. The androgynous voice was offering explanations for what happened between him and Victor today; they found meaning in every single thing. Every. Single. Thing. It was enlightening and terrifying how that voice found meaning in the smallest things. A blink? Meaning. A sneeze? Meaning. A burp? Meaning. Everything thing had a meaning and it felt like it was that voice's purpose in Yuri's life to find a meaning in it.

Yuri was surrounded by the things in his suitcase. He was still sorting. Phichit came in.

"Are you eating with me tonight?" Phichit asked. He leaned on the doorframe. Yuri shrugged. "You have to eat. You're going to be skating soon." Yuri rolled his eyes. "You can do your restrictive eating thing once the Grand Prix is over. You need your nutrition."

"What are you making?" Yuri asked. He looked up from his pile and at Phichit.

"Pad Krapow Gai," Phichit said. Yuri felt his lips quirk up. "You like that, don't you?" Yuri nodded. "So you'll eat with me tonight?" Yuri nodded. "Good. I'm glad. And when you come back, we can go on our date." Yuri nodded. "I'll call you when dinner is ready." Yuri nodded again and returned to his pile. He would really have to thank Phichit one day for his merciless care. He was so dedicated to Yuri; it was endearing and worrying. He doesn't like feeling babied and Phichit's care often bordered on/crossed that line. Phichit insists that it's not babying, but it _feels_ like babying to Yuri and Yuri wasn't sure if it was his perception of the situation that made it so.

Yuri, out of a recently established habit, checked his phone. He had a text from Mari.

 _ **Mari: Are you mad at me?**_

Yuri took a deep breath. What does he say to his beloved sister who stabbed him in the pancreas?

 _ **: Not anymore, I don't think.**_

When Olivia was making a remark about how he doesn't truly hate Mari, Yuri took that to heart. He didn't possess the strain of virulent hate that Khoudia has for Olivia or what Jason has for him; instead, it was softer and much weaker. It was a fragile hate. It was a hate that could be looked at in a dubious way and fall apart. Yuri was more certain than anything that if Mari was in the same room as him, he would break down crying in rage and guilt. Rage for what his sister did and guilt for thinking that he could ever truly delude himself into thinking that he hates his beloved elder sister.

 _ **Mari: How was your day?**_

Yuri looked at the text and struggled with what he wanted to tell her. He didn't know what he wanted to say to her about his day. Does he tell her how he might've fucked it up with several of the people he's closest to? Or does he just say "fine" like he's accustomed to when strangers ask about his day?

"Dinner's ready!" Phichit yelled. Yuri gladly put down his phone and went to the kitchen entrance. Phichit was getting the bowls out.

"Let me help you," Yuri said. He took the bowls from Phichit and started to place the food in the bowls. "I should cook for you when I come back. I feel bad when you do all these things for me and I've offered you nothing."

"Offer me the chance to eat with a Grand Prix medalist. That would be enough."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Phichit said. Yuri gave Phichit a bowl and he accepted it graciously. He walked into the living room and Yuri followed behind him. "So," he said, "what should we do on our date?" Yuri shrugged. "I was thinking dinner and a movie. Do you like that?" Yuri nodded. "I wanted to see 'The Danish Girl' with you, but they don't have that here so I was thinking that we could see 'The Summer of Sangailé' or 'By The Sea.'" Yuri's mouth was full by the time Phichit finished talking. Yuri quickly chewed and swallowed and cleared his throat.

"'By The Sea' sounds nice. Do you know what it's about?"

"It's about the problems of a married couple."

"And the summer one?"

"A girl meets a girl who inspires her." Yuri blanched. He picked two romances and Yuri wasn't sure if he could handle a romance film.

"Is there anything else?"

"'Victor Frankenstein.' But I think it might be bad." Yuri looked at Phichit. "It's an adaptation." Yuri nodded. He doesn't have a very high opinion of adaptations. There is one adaptation that he likes and Yuri couldn't remember what it was for the life of him.

"We can't see that," Yuri plainly said. He doesn't want to be reminded of Victor right now.

"Fine, since nothing I've picked is good enough for you, what are _you_ in the mood to see?" Yuri shrugged.

"Can't we just stay at home and watch German art house movies?"

"It's the first date we've had in a long time and I want it to be perfect," Phichit said. Yuri sighed. "How about Krampus? Do you want to see a horror movie?" Yuri shrugged. "You're not being helpful." Yuri shrugged again. "Fine, we'll see Krampus." Phichit started to eat. "I'm excited. Are you?" Yuri nodded. "When should we go? I know we agreed on after the Grand Prix, but what day?" Yuri patted his body for his phone. He remembered that he had left his phone in the room. Yuri put down his bowl and got up to get it. He had a text from Victor. He disregarded it and came back to Phichit with his calendar already open.

"The 19th?" Yuri suggested. "It's the day after the semester's over. We'll be free and we can enjoy it more." Phichit smiled.

"I'd like that," Phichit said. He took a spoonful of food and chewed. He held out his hand. When he swallowed, he opened his mouth. "I still want to talk to Victor. When can I talk to him?" Yuri shrugged. "There you go again. Shrugging."

"Is it really a good idea to talk to Victor?" Yuri asked. Phichit looked at Yuri and squinted.

"Don't you want me to talk to him? What's changed?" Yuri shrugged. "Fine, when you want me to talk to Victor, let me know."

"Thank you," Yuri said. He rubbed his eyes. He had a spoonful of Pad Krapow Gai and chewed.

"So have you talked to Mari recently?" Yuri chewed and nodded. "What did she say?"

"She apologized again," Yuri said after he swallowed food. "She asked how my day was."

"And? What did you say?"

"Nothing. I didn't reply."

"Respond to your sister," Phichit demanded. Yuri was cowed into submitting to his roommate's mandate. Yuri unlocked his phone and looked at Mari's text. Phichit was looking over his shoulder.

 _ **: It was okay. Could be better.**_

"What could be better about your day?" Phichit asked. "Did something happen?" Yuri shrugged. "If you shrug one more time, I'm going to stab your in the shoulder blades."

"That's a bit extra," Yuri said. "All because I'm shrugging?" Phichit nodded. Yuri rolled his eyes and continued to eat.

 _ **Mari: Is there someone I should "talk to"?**_  
 _ **: No, no. No one's done anything.**_

Yuri exhaled and put his phone down. He wanted to continue eating, but now his stomach was acting up. He wasn't sure if he could take another bite of anything anymore. Yuri put down his bowl. Phichit looked at him. "Is there something wrong with the food?" Phichit asked.

"No, it's lovely as usual," Yuri said. "My stomach is just acting up." Phichit made a whining sound and stroked Yuri's head.

"Do you think you can eat more without feeling sick?" Yuri remained silent.

"I would shrug, but you said you'd stab me in the shoulder blades." Phichit sucked his teeth. "I don't think so."

"You really haven't been eating much of anything recently," Phichit pointed out. Yuri felt himself blanche again. "Eat what you can tonight. For me?" Yuri nodded. He was silently resigned to eating despite the sudden wave of nausea.

But he was doing this for Phichit so maybe it wouldn't be so bad.

#

 **(Monday, 7 December 2015 – 10:24pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri laid in Phichit's bed. His covers smelled like lavender and his pillow was a different kind of soft. Phichit's bed was so unlike Yuri's. He had forgotten the way Phichit makes his bed and the different type of care he puts into it. Yuri could sleep here, but it would be enough for Yuri tonight. Phichit came into the room and got in next to Yuri.

"It's been so long since you've slept in my bed," Phichit said. He kicked his leg over Yuri's and cuddled up to him. "This is nice." Yuri weakly smiled. He left his phone on his side of the room to remove the temptation of contacting Victor from him. "Don't you agree?" Yuri nodded. "It's okay if you don't want to sleep in my bed, you know."

"It's fine."

"Are you sure? We don't use the same type of sheets and my blanket isn't weighted."

"It's fine," Yuri repeated. It was nice to sleep under something that wasn't heavy once in a while. Sure, Phichit's leg is over Yuri and is pressing against him, but it was very different from having a blanket. Phichit reached under his pillow and took out his phone. He had a text from Ketty.

 _ **Ketty: Saw Yuri on a date with some guy. Just texting you to let you know that I saw him and I'm thinking of you two.**_

"You didn't tell me that you saw Ketty," Phichit said. "What happened? How did this come to pass?"

"Oh, well Victor said that he was going to use the bathroom and Ketty texted me to ask if I was in Fishbone's. I told her that I was and we just had a conversation until he came back." Phichit nodded. "She seemed surprised to see me on a date with him."

"Probably because you were with a guy." Yuri shrugged. "People aren't really used to that for some reason." Yuri yawned. "You hadn't gone out on dates with Jason, right?"

"We did, but he wouldn't call them dates. He was ashamed of being with me. He was always ashamed, but not enough to stop himself from being interested in me." There was a silence. "That is, if he was _ever_ interested in me. Some days I felt like he was never really interested but still wanted to 'just try it.'" Yuri closed his eyes. "I felt like something to be tried and discarded rather than something to be absorbed and appreciated. I don't know." Yuri's breath became shallow and labored. He felt like he was going to cry. He didn't often talk about Jason, but, when he did, he always left the conversation feeling some kind of way. Phichit sat up and kissed Yuri's eyes. "I always feel like something to be tried and discarded."

"I'm sure Victor doesn't see you like that."

"Hm," Yuri said. "Am I wrong?"

"For what?"

"For wanting to be…" Yuri's voice trailed off. "Appreciated and treated like I'm a whole person."

"Never," Phichit said. "You're a whole person and you deserve to be treated as such. You always deserve to be treated as such. And if someone doesn't treat you like that, I'm going to get the hamsters to attack them." Yuri chuckled. "There goes a laugh." Phichit kissed Yuri's forehead tenderly. "You deserve to have the best of everything. Never forget that." Yuri cracked a smile. "Now, it's time for you to get some sleep. You haven't been sleeping much either. You worry me sometimes and sometimes I feel like I don't know how to help you." Phichit kissed Yuri's forehead again.

"Just hold my hand even if you don't understand what's going on with me. That's all I want from you." Phichit kissed Yuri's nose. Yuri smiled.

"I'll do my best to do that. Now go to sleep." Yuri nodded and rooted under the covers. Phichit's bed was warm and soft. He could sleep here tonight.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I hope you had a nice January!


	69. Chapter 69

Ryuugazaki: I know I was joking when I said that this is going to be 100 chapters, but this REALLY MIGHT BE 100 CHAPTERS AND I AM UNPREPARED.

WE ALL UNPREPARED HERE.

* * *

Chapter Sixty-Nine  
 **(Tuesday, 8 December 2015 – 12:45pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri was on his phone, waiting for Luzia to come out for him. The text from Victor was still sitting there and even thinking about its existence was causing him duress. If he deletes the chat now, Luzia is going to say that he's trying to avoid talking to Victor again. If he deletes the chat after session, Luzia could still say that he's trying to avoid having to talk to Victor again. If Yuri flat out stops going to campus and dips out on going to the Grand Prix, Luzia is definitely going to say that Yuri is taking his avoidance to new levels and that he needs to stop. Yuri sighed and looked at the text from the menu. He felt a pang of guilt hit him. He went to Olivia's chat and looked at it. She hasn't texted him since Saturday. Yuri was tempted to text her and ask to see her some day after the Grand Prix, but he didn't want this next outing/smoke session to be a repeat of the last ones. He doesn't want to relive Saturday's guilt.

But he also doesn't want to relive Monday's guilt.

He doesn't want to feel any guilt.

Yuri was spaced out and he didn't notice Luzia's hand in his face. "Yuri? Yuri?" She lightly shook him. When he snapped out of it, he looked up at Luzia. Her hair was in cornrows and she was wearing a dark blue, fitted turtleneck. "You spaced out there, meu amorzinho (my little love)," she said. "Come on. Let's talk in my office." She patted his back tenderly and smiled at him. Yuri got up and followed Luzia to her office. Yuri took his usual spot and looked at her desk. "So, what's going on?" Luzia folded her hands and smiled. "I want to hear all about the Rostelecom Cup and your birthday."

"You remembered," Yuri whispered. She nodded and smiled.

"And, before I forget," Luzia said. She opened her desk and looked at Yuri. "Close your eyes and cover them." Yuri nodded and did as Luzia told him. "Open." There was a card and a Lacta bar in front of him. "Happy Birthday, Yuri." Luzia grinned. Yuri smiled and wiped his eyes. "Are you crying?"

"You remembered," Yuri repeated. Luzia smiled. Yuri put his card and gift in his bookbag and looked at his fingers.

"Now, tell me about the Rostelecom Cup," she said. "I remembered what it's called." She gave Yuri finger guns. He chuckled.

"It went great. I placed first." Luzia clapped her hands and grinned. Yuri smiled. "Khoudia was there. She placed second in her section." Luzia nodded. "Oh, oh, Victor knows I'm a skater now."

"And? How'd that happen?"

"His friend, Christophe, told him." Luzia made a face. "He knew before Victor and accidentally let slip that I'm a skater." Luzia nodded.

"How did Victor react?"

"He was hurt that I didn't tell him sooner. After that, he was… I don't know?" Yuri shrugged. "When he saw me on Wednesday, he was so excited to see me. It was like nothing had ever happened. I don't get it." Yuri put his face on Luzia's desk. "I don't get him. How could he be so perfect? How did I get someone so amazing?"

"No one is perfect, Yuri, remember that. Victor is just as flawed as you are. He has insecurities and shortcomings just like you." Yuri shrugged.

"He's an angel and I've been so terrible to him lately." Yuri closed his eyes. "I need to break up with him."

"Do not do that," Luzia said. "Because what are you doing when you do that?"

"Avoiding," Yuri said.

"Right," Luzia said. "Now, tell me more about the Cup."

"Um," Yuri started, "I had a manic episode and I was hallucinating for the duration of the event." Luzia nodded. "I'm sure I'm hallucinating right now. One of the voices sound like my grandfather and he's not being very kind." Luzia nodded.

"And what did you do to weather the storm of your mania?" Luzia asked. She was playing with her wedding ring now.

"I was with Khoudia the entire time. She wouldn't let me do anything too outrageous." Yuri bit his lip. "Except for passively allowing me to buy a bunch of things I don't need. She let me do that."

"You smooth-talked her, didn't you?" Yuri shrugged. "What did you buy?" Yuri listed everything he purchased. Luzia was unamused. "Jesus Christ, Yuri." Yuri started to chuckle. "This isn't funny. You could've bought something even worse."

"I don't think it gets any worse than outrageously expensive fountain pens, to be honest."

"What happened after that?"

"When Phichit found out, he took my cards." Luzia nodded. "I couldn't be as mad as I would've initially. I was hallucinating then, too." Luzia nodded. She bit her lip "What is Noêmia going to do?"

"Probably increase your medicines," Luzia said. "We should explore _why_ you have an uptick in hallucinations, but first: What else happened?"

"With Phichit or something else?"

"Either one," she said.

"Vicchan died." Luzia brought her hand to her mouth. Yuri shrugged. "My sister didn't tell me until recently. According to her, he's been dead since October." Luzia reached over and touched Yuri's hand. "I didn't go out with Victor on Friday. On Saturday, I went over to Olivia's."

"Olivia?"

Yuri nodded. "She's back. She's back, we went out to dinner, and we almost slept together." Luzia remained silent. "The sleeping part almost happened on Saturday. Our dinner was on Wednesday."

"Why did you try to sleep with her?"

"Well, she initially came on to me on Wednesday. It felt weird. On Saturday, I was just sad and I needed to see someone." Luzia remained silent. "My heart is a whore, but, like, despite my heart being a whore, I didn't _want_ to sleep with her. I couldn't be so terrible to Victor." Yuri closed his eyes again. "I don't know why I was going to her, but I couldn't see Victor and I slighted him. I feel like he hates me now."

"He doesn't hate you."

"How do you know?" Yuri asked. Luzia sighed. "I didn't go to the museum with him. We kind of had a fight on Monday. I won't respond to his texts. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually _does_ break up with me."

"He won't do that," Luzia said. Yuri squinted.

"How are you so sure?"

"You're catastrophizing," Luzia said. An uncomfortable silence was between them. "Also, you can't be sure what Victor is thinking. I'm sure he misses you very much right now." Yuri felt something tremble in his chest. "I'm going to assign you some homework: Text Victor and _talk_ to him." Yuri nodded in resignation. "Now, let's discuss these hallucinations," Luzia said. "Sit up. I want to see your lovely face." She patted Yuri's head and Yuri slowly forced himself up. Session was going to be more of a wreck today; he doesn't know what else to tell Luzia about these nuisances of his that she hasn't already heard.

#

 **(Tuesday, 8 December 2015 – 4:32pm, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri laid on the sofa face down. His sessions were dumpster fires if he's ever seen them. Not only did Noêmia upbraid him for being inconsistent with his medicine, she _increased_ his medicine and made install an app to remind him to take his medicine. She also wants to put him on another antidepressant or Lithium, but Yuri stood his ground and insisted for that to happen after the Grand Prix. Noêmia was hesitant to wait so long because she was worried, but Yuri insisted that he would be fine until after. When Luzia found out that Yuri hadn't been taking his medicine consistently, she had to scold him. He got scolded twice in one day and, when Phichit comes home, he's going to get scolded some more. Everyone's coming at his neck today.

Yuri sighed and looked at his phone. He had another text from Victor. Yuri sighed harder and tossed his phone on the floor. Luzia told him to text Victor back, but Yuri couldn't will himself to do it. He would much rather text Olivia and go through the national embarrassment which was Saturday ten times over than respond to Victor. "But I miss him," Yuri thought. Yuri got up and went to get his journal. He figured that he could watch cartoons and write until Phichit comes home.

But then Yuri was consumed with a need to check his stupid phone. He wanted to know what Victor was saying. Maybe, if he was lucky, he could talk to Khoudia – if she didn't still hate him, that is. Yuri went to pick up his phone and dusted it off. Khoudia had texted.

 _ **Khoudia: I know I'm still kind of mad at you, but can you do me a favor?**_

Yuri sat on the sofa and closed his journal.

 _ **: What happened?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I need you to hold on to my clothes for the banquet. My dad is insisting that he checks my bags because he doesn't trust me or whatever.**_  
 _ **: I can do that for you.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Thank you, baby.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'll come over with my clothes.**_

Yuri locked his phone and continued to write in his journal. Before Yuri knew it, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, nerd," Khoudia's disembodied voice said. Yuri sprung up and answered the door. Khoudia was standing at the door in sweats and a big jacket. "I'm wearing Amadou's jacket. Adeola has mine for some reason." Yuri nodded. "Can I come in?" Yuri nodded again and stepped aside. Khoudia came in and took off her brother's shoes and coat. She sat on the sofa, next to Yuri's spot. Yuri sat down and took out his phone. He was going to return to his journal, but Khoudia's presence demanded his full attention. But Khoudia sat in silence next to Yuri.

"Are you okay?" Yuri asked. Khoudia caught him off guard with a hug. "Oh," Yuri said.

"Wrap your arms around me, you idiot," she said. Yuri did as Khoudia asked and patted her back. "I love you. You know that, right?" Yuri nodded. "Don't do anything that dumb ever again." Yuri nodded. "You had all of us worried."

"Adé didn't seem too bothered by it."

"Don't let his calm demeanor fool you. Adé was worried, too." Yuri shrugged. Khoudia swatted his shoulders. "Don't shrug. You had us all worried." Khoudia sighed. "Have you spoken to Olivia since Saturday?" Yuri shook his head.

"I've decided that I need to shoot her like a foot with gangrene."

"Don't you mean _cut_ her _off_ like a foot with gangrene?" Khoudia asked.

After a beat, Yuri said, "There's a difference?"

"There's a big difference," she said. "First of all, you don't _shoot_ your feet… Usually. There are some extenuating circumstances, though." Khoudia sat up. "You can amputate a foot with gangrene, though. Is that what you meant?" Yuri shrugged. Khoudia rolled her eyes. "You're a mess sometimes." Khoudia reached up to touch Yuri's hair. "What was the purpose of seeing Olivia?"

"I was going to sleep with her." Khoudia deadpanned and let go of Yuri's hair.

"You have a boyfriend, you slut," Khoudia said. Yuri sucked his teeth and shrugged. "Did you do it?"

"No, I couldn't be so terrible to Victor."

"Good," Khoudia said. "Don't be terrible to your baby. He loves you."

"I doubt that." Khoudia rolled her eyes.

"I can prove it to you. Give me your phone." Khoudia held out her hand. Yuri begrudgingly gave it to her and she tried to unlock it. "Unlock it." Yuri did so and gave it back to Khoudia. She went to Yuri's messages and specifically went to Victor's messages. She started to read the texts and then she sent Victor something. Yuri's phone buzzed immediately.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll see," Khoudia said. She was texting up a storm.

"Can I at least get my phone back?" Yuri asked.

"No, write in your journal or something," Khoudia said. She threw Yuri's journal at his chest and Yuri begrudgingly picked up his pen. He continued to write about his sessions today. Then he started to write about how Khoudia won't give back his phone because she's busy ruining something in Yuri's name. She started to smile. Yuri peeked over her shoulder; there were three dotty bois on the screen on Victor's end. Yuri couldn't make out what it was that Khoudia said, but he supposed that he could try and move closer to sneak a peek. So Yuri scooched closer to Khoudia. She swatted his chest. "Go back to writing!"

"What are you saying to him?!"

"Don't worry about it! Just know that I'm going to prove to you that Victor loves you and that you're being an idiot!" She sucked her teeth. "You were really about to cheat on Our Lord and Redeemer with Michelle Williams. How could you even get it in your mind to do that?"

"I'm sad and I'm a hoe." Khoudia shook her head.

"How do you go from Our Lord and Savior to Michelle Williams?" Yuri rolled his eyes. "Literally Our Good Lord and Michelle Williams. One of these things is not like the others and one of these things is a hellspawn."

"I think you're being a bit overdramatic," Yuri said. "Olivia isn't that terrible. You just perceive her to be that terrible."

"She was willing to sleep with a committed man. She's no good." Yuri shrugged. "And you're terrible too! You have a boyfriend! Bust nuts in your boyfriend!" Yuri started to laugh at Khoudia's last statement. Then his phone started to buzz. "Unlock your phone." Yuri unlocked it again and Khoudia continued to text Victor. She was smiling. "Now, get back to journaling."

"I don't have anything else to write about."

"Start drawing. Go get your laptop," Khoudia commanded. Yuri sucked his teeth and did as Khoudia said. He grabbed his Wacom out of his drawer and grabbed his laptop from the desk. He came back to Khoudia. She was sprawled out on the sofa, looking through Yuri's photos. "You know, you and Victor look so cute together," she said, stopping at one of the selfies they took at the park. "I hope you know that once I catch you and Victor together, I'm going to be the annoying paparazzo."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am," Khoudia said. She sat up and made space for Yuri to sit. Yuri sat down and started to connect his Wacom to his laptop. "If y'all kiss at the banquet, I am going to be the one to get it all on camera. I'll get close-ups and everything."

"We won't be kissing at the banquet. I won't even be going to the Grand Prix." Khoudia looked at Yuri. "Victor's going to be there and I just don't want to go anymore."

"I swear to God, I will tell Ciao Ciao and Phichit and they will make you come."

"You're bluffing," Yuri said. Khoudia pursed her lips and took out her phone. She unlocked it and went to her contacts list. She scrolled to "C" and stopped when she saw Coach Cialdini's name. She called him. He picked up on the first ring and she put him on speaker.

"Ciao Ciao!" She yelled.

"Khoudia, why are you yelling? I'm right here."

"Yuri said –" Yuri moved to cover her mouth. Khoudia ducked him. Yuri looked at her with a fire in his eyes. Khoudia stood at the end of the sofa. Yuri scrambled to his feet and Khoudia ran towards the door. Before Yuri registered what was going on, Khoudia blurted out, "Yuri said he wasn't going to go to the Grand Prix!" There was a dead silence in the room.

"Khoudia, go get Yuri," Coach Cialdini said. Khoudia smiled irreverently and gave Yuri the phone. She sat on the sofa and returned to Yuri's phone. Yuri timidly returned to his seat.

"Hello, Ciao Ciao," Yuri meekly said. "How's the wife and Vanozza?" Khoudia started snickering.

"I'm not here to make small talk. Khoudia tells me that you're not going to the Grand Prix."

"She's told you right," Yuri murmured. "I don't want to go anymore."

"Why? Your skating for the past two events have been amazing. You're a shoo-in for a medal. You have no reason for not wanting to go." Yuri shrugged. "You are not going to embarrass me in front of the fellow coaches. You're coming."

"Okay, but I don't want to come," Yuri said.

"So? You're still coming."

"Okay, but," Yuri repeated, "I don't want to come."

"You're still coming."

"But I –"

"Yuri, we can discuss this ad nauseam but, frankly, I don't have the time or patience to. You're coming and that's that." Coach Cialdini hung up and Yuri looked at Khoudia's phone. Khoudia looked like she was satisfied.

"Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God, Yuri Katsuki," Khoudia said.

"You are neither my Lord nor my God," Yuri said. He leaned back and closed his eyes. "Nor are either of us Christian." Khoudia remained taciturn and kept her eyes on Yuri's phone.

"Give me my phone real quick," Khoudia said. Yuri gave it to her. She unlocked it and sent out a series of texts. Then she gave it back and returned to texting Victor. "Now get back to drawing." After a silence, Yuri's phone started to ring. Khoudia passed Yuri his phone. It was Phichit.

"Khoudia told me that you weren't going to the Grand Prix!" Phichit screeched. Yuri rolled his eyes.

"Don't you have a class?" Yuri asked.

"I stepped _out_ because I needed to call you immediately!" Yuri rolled his eyes again.

"We live together. We can just talk at home."

"No, we're talking right now." And so Phichit went on and on about how Yuri _should_ go to the Grand Prix and how he's worked for this. Yuri rolled his eyes the entire time he was on the phone. The entire lecture went on for about ten minutes. Ten minutes Yuri could never reclaim. "Do you understand now why you should go?" Phichit asked.

"Yeah," Yuri said, disingenuously.

"We'll talk more when I get home," Phichit said. "I love you. Don't do anything dumb." Phichit ended the call. Yuri sighed heavily. He looked over at Khoudia. She had taken down her bun and was furiously scratching her scalp.

"What are you doing?"

"These braids itch. I'm dead about to rock a baldie after these things come out."

"Why not now?"

"These braids are $130. Fuck I look like taking them out right now?" Yuri shrugged. "My daddy was upset when I told him I wanted box braids. He'd probably beat me for taking them out before three months." Yuri started to chuckle. "If I come home looking like a small, bald lesbian tonight, my dad would fight me and my sisters would never let me live it down."

"But you are acknowledging that you're a lesbian. Why the change?"

"Like, don't get me wrong! I'm still pan," Khoudia said. She was rubbing her hairline. "But I'm just also really, really gay. Like you. You're pan and you're really gay." Yuri shrugged. "Don't you have more to say?" Yuri shrugged again. "You're hopeless. Give me your phone. I'm not done." Yuri rolled his eyes.

"What are you even talking to him about?"

"You'll see when I'm done," Khoudia said. "Now get to drawing, Fragonard."

"'Fragonard?'" Khoudia nodded. "Fragonard?!"

"Yeah, 'Fragonard.'"

"Not Mucha, Kunisada, Monet, or Munch. But Fragonard. Out of all the people you picked, you picked Fragonard."

"I don't know how many times I have to repeat 'Fragonard' for you to get it, but, yeah, 'Fragonard.'" Khoudia didn't look up from Yuri's phone. "I could've called you 'Mozart' but then we'd both be upset."

"But 'Fragonard.'"

"Yes, Fragonard. Now shut up and draw." Yuri sucked his teeth and continued to set up his Wacom. He opened at Photoshop and looked at the blank page. He could start drawing his "surprise" for Victor, but he still didn't know how he viewed himself. That _is_ , as far as Yuri knows, what Victor wants. Yuri drew the corner of a wall and made the frame of a body. If Victor wants to see Yuri how he sees himself, he's going to see it in this. The frame was crouched down in a corner. As quickly as Yuri found the drive to draw the surprise, he lost it and closed it. He simply didn't feel like drawing. Yuri sighed. "What happened? Did you draw everything on one layer again?"

"No, thank goodness," Yuri said. "I just don't want to draw right now."

"Well, you better make yourself want to draw because I'm still not done with Victor." Yuri sucked his teeth.

"Wh–"

"You'll know when you know. Now get to drawing." Yuri glared at Khoudia. She was going to keep being like this and Yuri would just have to deal with it.

"Where are your clothes?" Yuri asked. Khoudia threw a plastic bag at Yuri's chest and continued texting. Yuri looked at the bag. "Do you need me to iron anything?" Khoudia shook her head. A message from Adé came through on Yuri's MacBook.

 _ **Adé: Daddy, you know I love you, but I think you're** **bein** **unreasonable.**_  
 _ **: Pardon?**_  
 _ **Adé: Mom told me about the Grand Prix.**_  
 _ **Adé: Unrelated: I didn't expect you and Mom to start talking to each other again. She was really mad at you. Like, rampaging mad. It was wild. She's an** **angery smol.**_  
 _ **Adé: But anyway. I can't pretend to understand your reasoning for NOT wanting to go to the Grand Prix (after all the work you've put in to get there), but if you choose not to go, it's okay.**_  
 _ **Adé: But I still think you should go and you're being a tad bit unreasonable for not wanting to go.**_  
 _ **: Ciao Ciao and Phichit are making me go so**_  
 _ **Adé: Oh good. I don't have to put in work to convince you to go.**_  
 _ **: ((eye roll emoji))**_  
 _ **Adé: Love ya, Daddy ((purple heart emoji))**_  
 _ **: I love you too Adé**_

"How many people did you tell about me not wanting to go?" Yuri asked.

"Oh, just… Everyone at the rink," Khoudia said. Yuri snatched his phone from Khoudia and put it under his couch cushion. "I wasn't done!"

" _Why_ would you tell them that?"

"They deserve to know!" Yuri briefly looked at his MacBook; he had two message notifications from Masabeeh and Tal'at. " **Someone** has to be able to talk some semblance of sense into you and it sure as hell isn't me." Yuri arched a brow. "I'm occupied on a _different_ front." Khoudia reached under the couch cushion and took Yuri's phone back. "Now, if you'd _excuse_ me." Khoudia tried to unlock Yuri's phone. She gave it back to him. "Do your thing." Yuri passed it back to Khoudia. She continued to text Victor and Yuri rolled his eyes. He reopened Photoshop and continued drawing.

Before Yuri had even finished the body, Phichit was standing at the door. "Yuri Katsuki, you're going to the Grand Prix. I'm waking you up tomorrow." Yuri shrugged. "I can't believe this," Phichit angrily muttered as he kicked off his shoes.

"Were you muttering about this on the way home?" Yuri asked. Phichit shot Yuri a glare. Yuri dropped the matter and went back to drawing. The body was coming out nicely. Yuri just had to draw the head and let it all fall apart. Once Phichit was out of his coat, he kicked his bookbag towards Khoudia's leg and sat next to her. He started to take out his books and opened one. "Are you studying?"

"Yes, finals are in two weeks," Phichit said.

"It feels like yesterday that we were just taking our midterms," Khoudia said. "Also, Yuri, talk to Masabeeh and Tal'at. They keep texting."

"Okay." Yuri went to iMessages and created a group chat with Masabeeh and Tal'at.

 _ **: Masabeeh, Tal'at**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Hey Dad**_  
 ** _Tal'at:_ **_**Daddy-o, I'm gonna keep this brief and raw: Masa and I bragged to our dorm mates and told them that you're a professional figure skater and we've managed to dupe them into watching figure skating with us so you have to compete**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Well that's one way to say it lmao**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: So yeah we did that so now you have to compete**_  
 _ **Masabeeh: Sorry Dad OTL**_  
 _ **: Smdh**_  
 _ **Tal'at: Are you mad at us, Daddy?**_  
 _ **: Mildly annoyed, but Ciao Ciao and Phichit are already making me go so it's whatever at this point.**_  
 _ **Tal'at:** **Alḥamdulillāh because if you** **weren't** **going to go, I don't know what I would've told our dorm mates**_  
 _ **: Smdh**_

Khoudia was snickering. "Did you read all of that?" Yuri asked Khoudia.

"I did. Masa and Ibnat Alyasa are wrecks," Khoudia said, shaking her head.

"Ibnat Alyasa? Don't you mean your other daughter?" Phichit remarked as he turned the page.

"Well _yeah_ , but…" Khoudia's voice trailed off. "Shut up, Phichit." Khoudia nudged Phichit and leaned on him.

"Lay on your co-parent. I have to study." Khoudia looked over at Yuri; Yuri looked back at Khoudia. She scooched over to Yuri, but Yuri tried to stop her in her tracks.

"I'm drawing like you told me to. Do not lay on me." Khoudia sucked her teeth. She looked at Yuri draw for a bit before she decided to ask what he's drawing.

"What are you drawing anyway?"

"Victor wants to see me how I see myself so I'm drawing for him." Khoudia nodded.

"So you're drawing yourself crouching in a corner?" Khoudia asked.

"I'm going to stop you right there, Yuri, but that sounds like a surefire way to scare your boyfriend off," Phichit said. Yuri looked over at Phichit and wished he had something to throw at him.

"I haven't even finished telling Khoudia my idea."

"Okay, continue," Phichit said. He reached into his bookbag for something.

"I was going to have writing all on the wall. Right now, I'm thinking of making the writing red."

"Are you done? Can I give my feedback now?" Yuri nodded. "That sounds like a terrible idea." Yuri reached over to flick Phichit's leg. "I think this is one of the few times that I would rather see your drug-fueled art." Yuri saved the Photoshop page. "And, _no_ , this is not me giving you a free pass to snort DMT or whatever. I'm just saying that your drug art is kind of preferable. At least with the drug art, I knew why it came out looking weird."

"I don't think I've ever seen Yuri's drug arts," Khoudia said. Phichit got up and started to walk towards their hallway. "Where are you going?"

"To get one of Yuri's sketchbooks," Phichit said from down the hall. Yuri continued to draw the body. The body was coming out nice. Yuri hadn't drawn anything on his head yet and he hadn't fucked up the layers, but, so far, everything was going nice. Khoudia leaned on Yuri and watched him draw.

"Are you going to give yourself long hair in this one?" Yuri shrugged. "How about horns?" Yuri shrugged again.

"I wasn't _going to_ , but now I might. Thank you, Khoudia."

"Maybe you can make yourself an _oni_ in this." Yuri shrugged and zoomed in. He was going to start doing the facial details. Phichit came back with two of Yuri's sketchbooks. He returned to his spot next to Khoudia and opened one of the sketchbooks. Khoudia looked at the sketchbook Phichit wasn't holding.

"I wouldn't open that one if I were you," Yuri said.

"Why? What's in this one?" She opened it and made a face. Yuri stopped drawing to look at the sketch. "Oh yeah, I remember that one. Olivia had me draw her nude for that."

"Disgusting," Khoudia said. She turned the page. "What the fuck is this? Another one?" Yuri nodded. "Disgusting. Why do you keep drawing her?"

"She was the prettiest thing to draw in my mind." Yuri looked at the current layer. "I'm sure that if you looked at my older sketchbooks, you'd see sketches of Yuko, Jason, and Hideki, too. But the ones of Yuko and Hideki are pretty bad and are at home, fortunately." Yuri resumed drawing. "I've drawn Victor in that one, too, I think."

"Found it!" Phichit bellowed. He put the sketchbook in Khoudia's lap, over the nude sketch of Olivia. "Look!" Phichit excitedly pointed to a self-portrait Yuri did while on LSD. Yuri's face was covered in eyes in various states. Khoudia looked at the self-portrait and then at Yuri. And then at the self-portrait. She made a face.

"I–"

"But wait, there's more!" Phichit turned the page. Khoudia cocked her head to the side, trying to gauge what she was seeing. "Right?!"

"What the fuck, Yuri," Khoudia said. Phichit turned the page. Khoudia made a face. "Don't do any more art while under the influence." Yuri threw up the "ok" hand gesture and continued drawing.

"Moral of the Story: Yuri's drug art was weird and I'm glad he doesn't have the opportunity to make them anymore." Phichit closed the sketchbooks and put them on the coffee table.

"You're making it seem like _all_ of the art I made when I was high is this weird," Yuri said.

"Yuri, you drew dicks covered in kiwis."

"First of all, I don't need to be high to draw that." Phichit rolled his eyes. "And second of all, since my idea is so bad, what do you think I should draw then?"

"I don't know. I'm not the artist," Phichit said. Yuri rolled his eyes and continued to draw.

"Well, no matter the case, I'm sure that Victor is going to love it," Khoudia said. Yuri stopped drawing and looked over at her. "Victor had mentioned this surprise and he seems excited about it." Khoudia stretched. "What _is_ the surprise?"

"Initially, I was just reading Crime and Punishment to surprise him with a chat about Russian nihilism." Khoudia nodded. "But now I have to draw something, too. I was trying to get away from him because he was making me anxious so I just said it was part of a surprise. He asked if I had already started it and he suggested that I draw myself the way I see myself. So that's what I'm doing."

"Did you tell him to expect it by a certain time?" Yuri shook his head. "Good."

"I want this to be perfect."

"And? How do you feel about it so far?" Yuri shrugged and put down his Wacom. He stretched out his arms and legs. Khoudia's phone started to ring. "Probably my mother." Khoudia looked at her phone. "Oh, it's Adeola." She put her phone on the coffee table.

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Phichit asked.

"It's just Adeola. It's not a big deal."

"Pick up the phone. It's your sister," Phichit said. Khoudia groaned and picked up on the last ring.

"Yeah?" Khoudia said. "Tell Dad I'm with Yuri and Phichit." Khoudia rolled her eyes. "No, I am _not_ having a threesome with them. Christ, you're disgusting. Plus, don't those things happen at night?"

"Not necessarily," Yuri said. Khoudia's eyes widened and she nudged him.

" _Oui_ , yeah, Yuri told me that it doesn't actually have to happen at night. He's gross, too." Yuri sucked his teeth. "But tell Dad that I'm just with Yuri and Phichit. I'm helping Phichit study and I'm helping Yuri with a project." Khoudia sucked her teeth. "Yes, they _would_ help me with a project if I asked them to. They, unlike you and Fatoumatta, are nice." Yuri saved the Photoshop page and opened a new one. "Tell Mama that I'll call when I'm on my way home." Yuri started to measure out the top half of the head. "D'accord. Salut." Khoudia hung up and put her phone back on the coffee table.

"So?" Phichit questioned.

"Adeola was being annoying because our dad wanted to know where I was. She suggested that we were having a threesome when she pointed out how I've been here for… how long? Forty-five minutes? Sounds about right." She shrugged. "So I gave her an excuse for what I'm doing with y'all and I called y'all nice people. Then I told her that I'll call when I'm on my way." Khoudia shrugged again. "Did you start a new one?" She asked Yuri. Yuri nodded. He started to do the bottom half of the head.

"Are you going to draw something normal?" Phichit asked. Yuri shrugged and started to make lines for the facial features. "Do you ever know?"

"All I know is that I have to draw this head. The details come later." Yuri put his Wacom down again and touched his toes. "I'm bored with this."

"Well get unbored because I'm not done."

"Khoudia, what the _fuck_ are you even telling him?" She shrugged.

"Who said I was texting Victor now?" Yuri looked over at Khoudia. Khoudia giggled and leaned on Yuri. "Don't worry, I think I'm almost done. Now, give me your hand." She reached for Yuri's thumb and placed it on the home button. "Thank you, Daddy." Yuri made a jerking movement. "What happened?"

"Do _not_ call me 'daddy.' You are the one person who isn't allowed to call me 'daddy.'" Khoudia sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes.

"I'm still gonna call you 'daddy,'" Khoudia muttered under her breath. Yuri grimaced and picked up his Wacom again. She went to the top of the chat log and started to read. She would take periodic breaks to reorient herself and make mental notes. When Khoudia gave Yuri his phone back finally, Yuri was too enthralled with his art project to look at his phone. "Communication, hoe," she said. "You and Victor make a cute couple. I hope that what I just did is enough to prove it to you." Yuri shrugged and took his phone back. There was an unread text from Victor on his lock screen.

 _ **Victor: I love you too, baby. Always and forever.**_

Yuri put his phone to sleep and placed it next to Khoudia's. "So, Phichit, what are you doing?" Khoudia asked. She turned toward him and placed her hands on her knees. Yuri was focusing on her nails; she had them done.

"I'm still studying," Phichit said. He scrolled down his Instagram feed.

"I didn't know you can study on Instagram," Khoudia remarked. Phichit rolled his eyes. "And you," Khoudia said, turning to Yuri. "What are you doing?" Yuri shrugged and pointed at his screen. Khoudia leaned in and leaned on Yuri. He had closed Photoshop and had a Word document open. "Actually, Yuri," Khoudia said.

"What?"

"Can you iron my clothes?" Yuri nodded.

"You mean you're not going to wear your thot dress this time?"

"Nope. I can't wear the same thing twice." Yuri furrowed his brow and started to type out his heading. "I'll wear the thot dress when we start going clubbing again." Khoudia pushed her hair out of her face and she placed her head in Yuri's lap. "What are you going to do with the Word document?"

"Final paper for my European history class," Khoudia nodded. She yawned. "Go home."

"Nah," she said.

"Are you going to stick around longer and be annoying?" Phichit asked.

"Yeah," she said. Yuri made himself comfortable in his spot. If Khoudia is going to stick around to be annoying, then Yuri would need to get comfortable. And this was as comfortable as he was going to get with her head in his lap.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I'm sorry I'm giving this to you on a Sunday, but I was having problems with my login and I ended up taking a really long nap.


	70. Chapter 70

Ryuugazaki: I forgot to post last week because I was attempting to catch up on my work and I took really long depression naps between catching up on my work.

I've also been helping my friends write essays for school and that's really draining when you're a college student.

* * *

Chapter Seventy  
 **(Wednesday, 9 December 2015 – 5:20am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Khoudia made it home at 7pm. Her mother had called because she wanted to fix something on her dress. Khoudia mentioned that this dress belonged to Adeola or Fatoumatta and that she hates it, but she also couldn't whip something out of her secret wardrobe and tell her parents what she's actually going to wear. She also wanted to get home and get some sleep to look rested when they reached Marseille. Yuri didn't go to bed until 12am; he was focused on trying to pack. When Khoudia had left, Yuri had gone to resume his packing, but Phichit had other ideas. Phichit wanted Yuri to help him study. Phichit's need to study cut into Yuri's need to organize his suitcases and Phichit's desires prevailed.

Right now, Yuri was in the steamy bathroom, taking in the warmth. Phichit had offered to make Yuri something to eat before he leaves and Phichit decided on Yuri having oatmeal. Usually, Phichit isn't up this early, but today was an exception. He had to make sure that Yuri gets himself to the airport and he felt that the best way to do that was to personally come with him there. Yuri insisted that it was unnecessary for Phichit to bend himself backward, but Khoudia said that if Phichit _didn't_ do this that Yuri would go to Olivia's and chill there. Yuri was salty, but he also knew that Khoudia wasn't wrong. If it wasn't for his chats with Coach Cialdini and Phichit yesterday, he probably would've ditched and stayed with Olivia for the duration of the Grand Prix. So Yuri was in the bathroom, washing his face under the stream of hot water.

"Yuri?" Phichit said as he knocked on the door. "Oh my God, it's hot in here." Oh, so he was announcing his entrance. Yuri stopped washing his face to give Phichit his undivided attention. "I'm making your oatmeal now. How many packs do you want?"

"One," Yuri said.

"Is that all you're able to eat?"

"Yes," he said.

"Are you going to be out of the shower soon? I don't want your oatmeal to get cold."

"Give me five minutes," Yuri said. Phichit acknowledged Yuri's statement and left the bathroom. Yuri peeked from behind the shower curtain; he didn't completely close the door. Yuri sucked his teeth and started to wash the soap off of his face. He was getting out soon anyway.

When Yuri got out of the shower, the bathroom was less warm and less steamy than when Phichit had entered. It was still warm enough for Yuri to dry off in, though. Phichit barged in when Yuri was busy drying behind his ears.

"Your oatmeal is ready." Yuri nodded. Phichit left the bathroom as quickly as he entered. Yuri started to dry his neck and upper back. Yuri was more anxious than usual before an event and he couldn't pinpoint why. This event was, for the most part, like other ISU Grand Prix series events. He would go; he would skate; he would get his scores; he would cry. Nothing really set it apart from the other events. Coach Cialini would probably say that this Grand Prix is the head of everything Yuri had worked for – that this is what all of his practice had led him to – but that didn't feel right to Yuri. He thought that it was probably because he was going to be there with Khoudia, but that didn't feel right, either. He has done events with Khoudia in the past and none of them felt like this. Maybe it felt different because he flat out doesn't want to go to the Grand Prix anymore.

Yes, that had to be it.

Yuri quickly went into the bedroom and put on his underwear and layers. When he stepped out, Phichit was already eating his oatmeal. "That took you more than five minutes," Phichit said between spoons.

"I had to dry off and put something on." Phichit shrugged. "So you can shrug but I can't?" Yuri asked as he sat down.

"The difference between _my_ shrugging and _your_ shrugging is that I shrug because I don't know the answer. You shrug because you don't feel like answering the question." Yuri rolled his eyes and looked at the oatmeal dubiously. "Is something the matter?" Yuri shook his head and continued to stare at the oatmeal. He stirred the oatmeal in the bowl, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. On top of that, one of the voices is saying that the oatmeal has been compromised. Yuri sincerely doubted that Phichit had tampered with his oatmeal, but the voice was overshadowing his rational thoughts and that made Yuri not want to eat his oatmeal. Phichit gingerly touched Yuri's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Are you _sure_ I have to go to the Grand Prix?"

"We've had this conversation twice yesterday. You're going. You worked so hard to get here and I refuse to allow you to back out." Yuri shrugged and looked at his oatmeal. "Now eat your oatmeal."

"I'm not hungry."

"Yuri, eat your oatmeal," Phichit repeated.

"And I told you that I'm not hungry."

"Yuri, ma poupée, eat your oatmeal," Phichit said for the final time. Yuri put his head in his hands and kept his eyes towards the floor. "Fine. _Don't_ eat your oatmeal." Phichit moved Yuri's bowl of lukewarm oatmeal away from him. "Go get dressed." Yuri nodded. He sluggishly got up and went back into the room. He flopped on his bed and on his clothes and laid prone. Then he remembered that he should probably take his meds and a Xanax before he forgets.

So Yuri forced himself off of his bed and clothes and went over to his pill bottles. Noêmia had increased the dosage of all of his medicines so, instead of taking 10mg of Lexapro, he's taking 20mg; and instead of taking 7.5mg of Zyprexa, he's taking 10mg. Noêmia decided to leave the Xanax alone because she didn't see a need to increase the dosage. Yuri went into the kitchen with his pills in his hand and found a half-full bottle of aloe water. He opened it with his occupied hand and took his meds. Phichit was still in the living room, eating the oatmeal he laboriously made. Yuri felt bad for not eating what was made for him, but he also couldn't bring himself to eat it.

Yuri went back into the bedroom and started to dress again. Phichit had come in to get his clothes out. "Are you showering so soon?" Yuri murmured.

"I am," Phichit said. "I might as well shower since I'm up."

"You can shower later."

"No, I might as well do it now," Phichit said. "I might be coming back here, but I also know that I'm going to sleep in when I come back so I might as well do it now." Yuri put on his shirt and fixed his hair.

"Are you going to leave once you drop me off with Ciao Ciao?"

"I don't know," Phichit said. He held up a pair of boxers and examined them. "He might want to have a discussion with me about you."

"If he needs to have a discussion about me, he can have it with me," Yuri murmured.

"He could, but he knows that he won't get much – if anything out of you – so he talks to me." Yuri rolled his eyes and unfolded his pants. "I don't know why he chooses me to talk to, though. I barely get anything out of you anymore." Yuri sat on the bed and started to put on his pants. "You don't love me anymore." Phichit took a tank top out of the drawer and examined that, too. Yuri remained silence. "So you're just going to stay quiet?"

"Don't take my silence for assent," Yuri said. He pulled his pants up and fastened them. They felt kind of loose.

"Is that all I'm going to get from you?"

"I don't know. Did you expect more?" Phichit looked back at him. He wistfully smiled.

"I don't know why I expected more from you. I know how you are." Phichit turned back around and resumed picking out his clothes for the morning. "Are we meeting Khoudia at the airport?"

"No," Yuri said. "She's leaving with her parents and she'll probably be with her parents when Ciao Ciao and I arrive." Yuri sighed. "We're supposed to be macaron hunting the day after we touch down."

"Ooh," Phichit said. "Make sure you bring me some macarons when you come back." Yuri nodded. He sat back down and looked up at their ceiling. The ceiling could cave in right now and Yuri would only feel bad because Phichit had been crushed along with him. "Oh! How was your session with Luzia yesterday?"

"She told me that no one is perfect. She also chided me for my noncompliance. But that was more during my session with Noêmia, though."

"What does she mean by 'noncompliance'? When have you been noncompliant?" Phichit asked. "Aside from every other time, that is."

"Medicine stuff."

"You mean you're not taking your medicine?" Phichit looked back at Yuri. Yuri nodded. Phichit pursed his lips. "Where're your bottles?" Yuri gestured towards a drawer. Phichit walked over, opened it, and took all of the bottles out.

"What are you doing?"

Phichit opened a small pouch on Yuri's clothing suitcase and dumped the pill bottles in there. "Take your medicine."

"I'm going to. Noêmia made me download an app to remember to take them."

"Good! And I'm going to make sure that you take them, too." Yuri looked at Phichit. He strolled back over to the dresser. "I will annoy you until you take your medicine. I'll make you take them in front of me if I have to."

"That's un–"

"It's necessary," Phichit said. He picked out two shirts and went into another drawer for pants. "So, what did Noêmia say? What did she do?"

"She chided me, too, and said that I can't expect the medicine to work if I just don't take it." Phichit nodded. "Then she said that I have to take my medicine or else 'bad things' will happen. I'm not quite sure what she means by 'bad things,' but I just nodded. Then she said that she was going to increase my dosages and that she wants to put me on Lithium. I argued against putting me on Lithium; I told her that I want to wait until I come back before we make that decision." Phichit nodded again. "Then she brought in Luzia – Luzia chastised me, too. She left. Then Noêmia told me to download this medicine reminder app. So here we are."

"And did you take your medicine for this morning?" Yuri nodded. "Did you?"

"Yes," Yuri said.

"Good," Phichit said. He turned around to look at Yuri who was looking at his toes. Phichit walked over and grabbed Yuri by the face. "You know I love you, right?" Phichit said. He kissed Yuri's forehead and embraced his face. Yuri wrapped his arms around Phichit despite the voices screaming at him to not do that. His grandfather's voice was calling him a disgrace to the family right now. He knew he was a disgrace. He didn't need his grandfather to tell him what he already knew. Yuri's arms slackened around the slim Thai guy. "Are you okay?" Yuri nodded and removed his arms from Phichit.

"Go take your shower."

"Right," Phichit said. He let go of Yuri's head and grabbed his underwear and tank top. Yuri sat on his bed and grabbed his phone. He had a text from Victor and from Olivia. Yuri decided to go for what was easiest and chose to respond to Olivia first.

 _ **Olivia: Congrats for making it this far, tesoro. I'll be rooting for you the entire time.**_  
 _ **: Thank you.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Did you leave already?**_  
 _ **: No. I'm waiting for Phichit to take his shower so we can go.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Why?**_  
 _ **: I don't want to go to the Grand Prix and Phichit, Khoudia, and Ciao Ciao are making me go.**_  
 _ **Olivia: You can't /not/ go to the Grand Prix. You've worked so hard to get here!**_  
 _ **: I know. And I don't care.**_  
 _ **Olivia: ((eye roll emoji))**_  
 _ **Olivia: I'm calling you.**_  
 _ **: Please don't do that.**_  
 _ **Olivia: Why?**_

Yuri quickly went to the Messages menu. He figured it couldn't hurt to read Victor's most recent text.

 _ **Victor: Do you want to meet up when we get to Marseille?**_  
 _ **: Don't you have to check in with your coach?**_  
 _ **Victor: I do, but I also want to see you, солнышко**_  
 _ **Victor: So maybe I can come to your hotel room and we can – what's the word? – chill? Can we chill?**_  
 _ **: Depends on if Khoudia wants to do something once we touch down.**_

Yuri unplugged his laptop and charger and started to put it in his bag. When he had returned to his phone, he had a new text.

 _ **Victor: So whether or not I get to see you depends on if your friend wants to do something?**_  
 _ **: I wouldn't exactly word it like that, but**_  
 _ **: Yes.**_  
 _ **: If Khoudia wants to do something when we touch down, I probably won't be able to be with you like you want.**_  
 _ **Victor: Well, if Khoudia's unable to do anything, you know where I'll be at.**_  
 _ **: Well, let me ask her.**_

Yuri went to his message log with Khoudia.

 _ **: Are you planning on avoiding your parents when we get to Marseille?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I WANT to but they probably won't let me.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Why?**_  
 _ **: Victor wants to "chill" when we touch down and I said that we can if you didn't want to do something.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'd tell you that chilling is how you end up with chill-dren, but y'all cain't so if you want to relax with your boyfriend before the Grand Prix, do it. Don't let me put a hamper on it.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Chill with your Victor. I'll be fine with my parents.**_  
 _ **: Are you sure?**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Yes. I'm certain ((heart emoji))**_

Yuri went back to his message log with Victor.

 _ **: Khoudia said that she'll be with her parents so we can "chill," as you say.**_  
 _ **Victor: One obstacle is out of the way.**_  
 _ **: One?**_  
 _ **Victor: Yes. The next one is: Do you want to?**_  
 _ **: Well, do /you/ want to?**_  
 _ **Victor: I wouldn't be asking if I didn't want to.**_

Yuri sighed and looked at his phone. What does he even say to that?

 _ **: I think I want to see you.**_  
 _ **Victor: You think?**_  
 _ **: I mean, I don't think, but I want to see you.**_  
 _ **Victor: I want to see you, too**_  
 _ **Victor: So when we get to Marseille, we're going to chill and I get to see you. Sounds like a great night.**_

Yuri smiled and put his phone to sleep. He laid down and looked up at the ceiling. The same line that was on Olivia's ceiling ran down Yuri's. Yuri rubbed his eyes to make sure he was seeing the line correctly.

 _ **Victor: Are you getting ready right now?**_  
 _ **: I'm already dressed. I'm just waiting for Phichit to get ready.**_  
 _ **Victor: Is he accompanying you to the airport?**_  
 _ **: He is.**_

Yuri returned his attention to the line on the ceiling. His phone started buzzing.

 _ **Victor: [has sent an attachment]**_

He seemed to be eating breakfast. Yuri couldn't make out what he was eating, but Yuri could tell that he was eating. Yuri decided to send him something back.

 _ **: [has sent an attachment]**_

He sent Victor a picture of him looking up at the ceiling in the dimly lit room. Yuri would have to tell Phichit that the light bulbs need to be changed. Or maybe Yuri was perceiving the lights at dim. Perhaps the lights were shining like the morning sun and Yuri's perception was totally off. Yuri closed his eyes despite the noise and chatter. He could try to get some shut-eye between now and when it's time to leave. Surely Phichit and Coach Cialdini wouldn't mind Yuri trying to go to sleep. Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Victor: I can't wait to see you.**_

Instead of responding, Yuri closed his eyes and let himself fall into unconsciousness.

#

 **(Wednesday, 9 December 2015 – 6:59am, Detroit, Michigan)**

Yuri woke up to the sound of a woman screaming. It shook him so much that he damn near jumped out of bed. Phichit wasn't in the room; he was in the living room having tea. Yuri rubbed his eyes and rolled himself out of bed. He stretched, grabbed his phone, and walked into the living room. Phichit was sitting down, scrolling through Instagram with a mug of tea.

"Someone's awake," Phichit said. "I was about to come and get you, but you've come to me." Phichit finished his tea and got up. "Finish getting dressed. We have to get to the airport." Yuri nodded. Yuri went over to the closet and pulled out a hoodie. "Don't wear that. It's dirty," Phichit said. Yuri held it up to examine that. "In the neck. I'll wash it while you're in Marseille." Yuri nodded and put it back. He pulled out another hoodie and held it up for Phichit. "That one looks better. Let me smell." Yuri brought the hoodie to Phichit. He smelled it. "This is clean. You can wear this one." Yuri nodded and put it on.

"Are we taking an Uber to the airport?" Phichit stared off into the distance. "Are we?"

"I don't know. Do you have money for an Uber?" Yuri nodded. "Then we'll take an Uber."

"How are you going to get back?" Yuri asked.

"I'll walk or take the bus back. I don't mind." Phichit went into the room for a sweater. He came back with a black and white EXO sweater. Phichit went to the small closet by the door and took out his coat. Yuri went to put on his shoes and coat. Phichit passed Yuri his coat and he shrugged on his. Phichit put on his shoes and stood triumphantly. Yuri was reaching for his keys and the doorknob. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Phichit asked. Yuri looked around. "Your bags, you numpty." He laughed. Yuri went back in the room and brought his bags out one by one.

"Is that everything?" Yuri asked Phichit.

"I don't know. You did the packing." Yuri rolled his eyes. "Do you have Khoudia's clothes?" Yuri nodded and patted a suitcase. "Do you have _your_ clothes? Your 3DS? Your laptop?" Yuri patted the same suitcase. "Do you have your equipment?" Yuri patted the other suitcase. "Do you have your costumes?" Yuri patted the demi-suitcase. "I know you have your medicines." Yuri nodded. "What else? What else?" Phichit stroked his chin. "You have underwear, right?" Yuri nodded. "Do you have your suit?" Yuri nodded. "Your tie? Your socks? Your shoes?" Yuri nodded again. "I think that's it!"

"Can I bring my fancy camera?"

"Depends, did you get a warranty on it?"

"I got _something_ on it, but it was in Russian." Phichit deadpanned. "What?"

"No, you may not bring your fancy camera. You don't even know how to use it yet." Yuri shrugged. "How about – when you come back, that is – we sit down and learn how to use it together?" Yuri nodded. "Great. We can do that after our date!" Yuri nodded again. "So, we've established that you have everything… Oh! Do you have your chargers?" Yuri hesitated on patting a pocket of the suitcase. "Go check." Yuri dashed back into the room and checked the desk, the outlet, and the bed. It was still there. Yuri grabbed it and hurried back to Phichit and put it in his suitcase. "Okay, _now_ do we have everything?" Yuri nodded. His phone started to ring. Yuri showed his phone to Phichit. "I got this." Phichit answered the phone and put it on speaker. "Yeah?"

"Where is Yuri?" Coach Cialdini asked.

"He's right here," Phichit said. "We're getting ready to leave right now."

"Yuri's finally going to be on time for once," Coach Cialini said with relief.

"Rude," Yuri murmured.

"Now I just have to wait for Khoudia and her parents." Coach Cialdini sighed. "I honestly don't know if they're going to be on time. I had called Khoudia, but she didn't pick up."

"Did you try calling again?" Phichit asked.

"I'll call again. I'll leave you two to get here."

"Alright Ciao Ciao. See you soon!" Phichit ended the call and gave Yuri his phone. "Request an Uber, ma poupée." Yuri nodded and did as Phichit said. "How long?"

"Five minutes," Yuri said.

"Let's get these bags downstairs." Yuri nodded. He reached for his keys. Phichit opened the door and started to take the bags downstairs. Yuri followed behind him with his equipment and things. Phichit was sitting on the stoop with the bag.

"Aren't you cold?" Yuri asked. He stood at his side with the suitcases. Phichit looked up at Yuri. "Get up. Your butt's going to get cold."

"Where's the Uber?" Yuri took out his phone and gave it to Phichit. Phichit grabbed Yuri's thumb and unlocked his phone. "Two minutes." Yuri nodded. Phichit didn't get up; instead, he kept sitting on the stoop.

"Your ass is going to get cold." Phichit shrugged. He took out his phone and started to scroll through his Twitter feed. "Get up."

"I'll get up when the Uber comes," Phichit said. Yuri sucked his teeth and sat on his suitcase. Phichit looked up at him and chuckled. Yuri was focusing on the school bus across the street. "Yuri?" Yuri looked down at Phichit.

"Yeah?"

"How does it feel being so tall?" Yuri shrugged. "You're lucky that my keys won't reach through your clothes." Yuri chuckled and flexed his legs. "What are you looking at?"

"The school bus." Phichit nodded. Yuri extended his legs. "And you're sure –"

"Yes, you have to go to the Grand Prix. You're already packed and prepared and the Uber is on its way." Yuri shrugged. The neighbor that never speaks came out. "Good morning, ma'am," Phichit said. "Have a nice day, ma'am." Yuri looked at her walk down the block.

"Why do we bother with speaking to her?" Yuri asked. "She never responds. She thinks we're 'sinners.'"

"Well, you're more of a sinner than me, if we're going to be comparing the levels of sins." Phichit switched to Instagram. "Being how you've slept with multiple men." Yuri shrugged. "I, unlike you, have never committed a sexual misconduct."

"Are you paraphrasing Lamrim?" Phichit nodded. "Disgusting." Phichit laughed. A car pulled up. Yuri checked his phone. He had a notification from Uber. "That's our Uber." Yuri picked up the bags and brought them over to the trunk of the car. Phichit got in and put the costumes suitcase in with him. Yuri slid in beside Phichit and the suitcase and the Uber drove off.

Coach Cialdini was waiting by the terminal, sitting. "Oh, you two are here," Coach Cialdini said. Phichit nodded. Yuri lingered behind Phichit. "Now we have to wait on Khoudia, Awa, and Mouhamadou." Coach Cialdini butchered Khoudia's parents' names and checked his phone. "Khoudia said that they're on their way, but I don't know if she means that they're on the road or if they're just leaving."

"They probably just left. Her perception of time is kind of skewed."

"As skewed as Yuri's?"

"I'm right here, you two," Yuri said as he sat down.

"We know," Phichit said. "And not _as_ skewed, but it's close. We're getting close." Yuri's phone buzzed.

 _ **Khoudia: I just sneezed.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Which one of y'all niggas is talking about me?**_

Yuri looked at Phichit and Coach Cialdini and decided to snitch them out.

 _ **: Phichit and Ciao Ciao.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: What they say?**_  
 _ **: They're talking about how your perception of time is trash like mine**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Smdh I am NOT that bad at time**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Plus, time isn't a linear concept SOOOOO**_  
 _ **Khoudia: THEY CAN STFU GDI**_  
 _ **Khoudia: [has sent an attachment]**_

Khoudia sent a selfie of her rolling her pretty brown eyes. Her mother's shoulder and _niqab_ could be spotted on the side and her father's shoulder could be seen, too.

 _ **Khoudia: [has sent a video]**_  
 _ **Khoudia: They're talking about leaving Adeola and Fatou in charge of the rest of my siblings.**_

Yuri started to play the video. Khoudia's parents were speaking Arabic or Wolof – Yuri couldn't distinguish which was which. Khoudia was making faces at her camera as her parents went on about how they wished that the rest of their children could come with them.

 _ **Khoudia: Yuri, is it weird that my siblings didn't want to come and support me?**_  
 _ **: I'm sure they would much rather prefer to support you from home.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Idk it's just that Mom and Dad are coming and they seem to feel bad about having to leave Adeola and them. Like, I feel like that I'm taking Mom and Dad away from them, you know?**_  
 _ **: I can't relate, sadly.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Right, right. Your parents have the hot spring to attend to and they can't afford to just leave to physically support you.**_  
 _ **: But you know I still feel guilty about choosing to leave the hot spring to go to college in America ofc.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I remember. And it's still nothing to feel bad about.**_  
 _ **: It /will be/ something to feel bad about once I make the decision on if I decide not to return to Hasetsu.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: No it won't** **smdh**_  
 _ **Khoudia: We can talk about this on the flight.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Rn we're a few blocks away. Tell Ciao Ciao and Phichit that I'm coming for they ass**_

Yuri looked out of the window and saw cars pass by. Then he looked back at his phone. Yuri patted Phichit on the shoulder. "Khoudia told me to tell you two that she's coming for y'all."

"Why would she come for us?" Coach Cialdini asked.

"I told her that you were talking about how she's trash at telling time." Coach Cialdini rolled his eyes. "I'm just the messenger. Do not persecute me for the message." Phichit sucked his teeth and took Yuri's unlocked phone from him. He started to scroll through the texts. Phichit sucked his teeth again.

"Khoudia is _not_ coming for us. She's bluffing," Phichit said.

"I thought she was bluffing when she said she was going to tell Ciao Ciao, but she wasn't. Why do you think you're here?" Phichit rolled his eyes. "Khoudia's coming for that ass. I just hope that she has mercy."

"She has to have mercy. She's going to be with Mama Awa and Papa Mouhamadou. Their presence stifles her." Yuri shrugged. "She's not going to do anything. Her anger is fast and bright." Yuri shrugged again and returned his attention to his phone.

 _ **Khoudia: Now my parents are talking about what the Grand Prix is like.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: They're all wrong.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: They would know IF THEY WOULD JUST WATCH THINGS WITH ME.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Smdh Mom and Dad. If you would only just pay attention when I express interest in things.**_  
 _ **: A tragedy.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Honestly, truly.**_

Yuri looked over at Phichit and Coach Cialdini. Phichit was on Snapchat, sending Adé a picture of his feet. "What are you telling your brother?" Yuri waited with bated breath on Phichit's reaction to calling Adé his "brother."

"That I'm with you at the airport. He had asked if you made it to the airport." Yuri nodded and smirked. Phichit had missed that. "Adé also said that he wishes that he could see you and Khoudia off, but they have an important appointment."

"Tell Adé that it's fine. Khoudia and I send our love."

"Will do," Phichit said.

 _ **Khoudia: We're ALMOST there**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I'm comin for that ass, Chulanont**_  
 _ **: Phichit said that you weren't going to do anything.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: I hope you told him that that's a lie**_  
 _ **: I told him that I thought you were bluffing, too, but you weren't.**_  
 _ **: Then he called you an immature star and said that your parents will douse your flames of fury.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: He must not know me.**_

Yuri looked out of the window again. He saw a red car pull up and three people that look to be around the right height came out. Khoudia's father was tall and dark-skinned like Akon. Khoudia's mother was short and thick and also dark-skinned. She also usually wears a black _niqab_. And then there was the figure that was between the two – presumably Khoudia – that was in the back of the car, getting the suitcases out.

 _ **Khoudia: We're here!**_  
 _ **: Oh good. So I am seeing you correctly.**_  
 _ **Khoudia: Don't you have your glasses?**_  
 _ **: I mean yeah but I still wasn't sure**_

"Khoudia's here," Yuri murmured.

"What was that, lapinou?" Phichit asked.

"Khoudia's here," Yuri repeated. He gestured towards the window. Coach Cialdini looked towards the door and started to wave his arm. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to get their attention," Coach Cialdini said. Yuri shrugged and started to deconstruct his suitcases. Khoudia fast walked over to Yuri, Phichit, and Coach Cialdini. She hugged Yuri tight whilst glaring at Phichit. "You made it within a reasonable time."

"Yes, my parents went to bed very early last night," Khoudia said. "I, however, did not. I was so excited that I wanted to shave!" Khoudia grabbed Yuri's face. "I shaved _a lot_." She moved her face closer to Yuri's. " _A lot_."

"Kiki, we do _not_ discuss shaving in polite company," Mama Awa said. Yuri hadn't seen her and her husband approach them.

"Yes, Mama. Sorry, Mama," Khoudia said. She let go of Yuri's face and moved towards her mother. "Mama, Papa, this is my coach, Celestino Cialdini, but you can call him 'Ciao Ciao.'" Mama Awa and Mouhamadou nodded in acknowledgment and waved at Coach Cialdini.

"It's very nice to meet you, Ms. Bâ Sè–"

"No, just Bâ," Mama Awa said. Coach Cialdini blinked at her. "Mouhamadou is just Mr. Sène." Coach Cialdini's face deadened. He seemed to be confused. Khoudia's father held out his hand for Coach Cialdini to shake; he tentatively took it and shook firmly.

"Ms. Bâ, I have a question," Coach Cialdini asked. Khoudia's mother nodded. "Do you ever take, uh, that off?" She pointed to her _niqab_. "Yes, that."

"Never. Not even when I am sleeping," she said. "My children have never seen my face nor has my husband. Mouhamadou is just lucky that all of our children were born beautiful." Coach Cialdini blinked.

"Are you –"

"No, she's _not_ serious," Khoudia said. Coach Cialdini blinked. He realized that this is where Khoudia must've gotten her sarcasm from. "Shouldn't we get going? Don't we have a flight to catch?"

"Right, right," Coach Cialdini said. "Well, Phichit, get home safe. I'll be taking Yuri off of your hands." Phichit quickly pulled Yuri into a tight hug and whispered something in his ear. Yuri smiled. "Phichit, let go."

"I don't want to," Phichit whined. "I'm going to miss Yuri so much."

"He can call when we get to Marseille. Now let go or else we'll miss the flight." Phichit sullenly complied. Yuri stroked Phichit's face.

"I'll call. I promise," Yuri assured Phichit. He gave him a soft, tender look and Phichit was satisfied. Coach Cialdini started to walk off and Khoudia's parents followed. Khoudia lingered behind with Yuri and Phichit.

"Kiki!" Khoudia's father called out. Yuri and Khoudia looked over at him. He was gesturing for Yuri and Khoudia to follow them. Yuri gave Phichit a final hug. Khoudia gave Phichit a hug and pulled Yuri away. Phichit stood there as Yuri and Khoudia hurried to catch up to Mama Awa, Mouhamadou, and Coach Cialdini. Yuri felt bad for having to leave Phichit there, looking so vulnerable, but he had a ghastly plane to catch.

* * *

Ryuugazaki: I hope you have an excellent weekend and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	71. Space Cowboy

Hello y'all!

It's your favorite Rei Ryuugazaki here.

I would just like to start off by thanking all of you for your time and devotion to this fanfic. It's been a very long and bumpy ride filled with many a hang ups. I've been really occupied with researching things for this fanfic, rewatching the episodes, browsing the YOI Wiki to make sure I am factually accurate, and – of course – taking creative liberties where the storyline allows me to.

Recently, while I was doing the chapter summaries for 36 Views, I came across something. That something didn't make any sense. And I saw that and my OCD kicked in and I had to rewrite the entire thing! Don't worry! Nothing significant about the fanfic has changed. In my rewrite, I just combined a few of the early chapters since it didn't make no sense for there to be two chapters for the same day and I introduced a few of the rink characters earlier and did some things to advance characterization and introduced Yuri's ballet instructor as an important side character. So keep your eyes peeled! I should be getting around to posting the updated version today and I plan on sticking to a weekly Saturday schedule until I'm done posting that.

I appreciate all of you greatly and this fanfic wouldn't have been what it was without you.

See you next level, space cowboy ;)


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